GRANDMA'S WAKE, FIRST SESSION
Friends of Mom's from work had been waiting for her, and she and Helen K. talk about how she wants visit Poland, and Mom's telling stories about her boyfriend in Rome, trying for double entendre, and her former boss makes a slip about "taking her to his room" that causes me to laugh so loud that Mom shushes me, and I'm aware that everyone in the room is having fun and rather ignoring Grandma in her coffin. Helen corners me to tell me about how they selected the next to the cheapest, which looks better than some expensive ones, and isn't the crucifix nice inside ("Did you notice the bleeding heart? That's one of our best items," said obsequious Mr. Carr), and she looked so peaceful after she'd died. Edward and Henry are commanded to wait as we enter because Mom wants to kneel and weep at the coffin first. Helen had organized the signing of the visitors' book (she first, then Jimmy, then Edward, Anne, Lorene for that family, then Henry, Marion and two spaces for their boys, then a space for Mom, and then I sign. When Mom hears what she wants, she willfully sings under Marion, and Helen's annoyed, and Mom's even MORE annoyed, inconsistently slipping from "He didn't tell me anything," to "Why should you tell ME where to sign, I'm the oldest and should have been first." Helen talks about Mom having the book, "since you also have Pop's book," she says with asperity. Edward is in charge of pallbearers and recruits Parker's son David, whom I vaguely remember from my graduation party at Helen's that I realize is ABOUT 20 years ago, and it was June 10, 1957, so it's 20 years I've lived in New York as of LAST SATURDAY! Parker's wife's mother is 89 also, a little deaf gray lady like all grandmothers, and there are lots of people I don't know or am expected to know, and I move through it like someone in a movie, not getting involved in the personalities, curious about how people talk about their own things and just use the coffin as an opportunity to come together and remark about the bouquets and who sent what. I make out a mass-card for St. Vincent’s, and Helen explains who'd given what from the estate for the flowers, so no one's paying anything for anything: Grandma's paying for her own funeral and she's the most ignored person there. I keep thinking no one would believe this if they saw it.