AKRON TRIP, 1996
TUESDAY, 7/9/96: Phone Enterprise to find that it's $389.99/week, and I CAN'T go to Ohio. No answer from Olins/Rent-A-Wreck on 205 State Street. Alamo in Newark will reserve 7/16-7/23 for Economy car at 10% discount and unlimited mileage at $176.39 plus tax. We take bus #62 from bus lane 3A at Newark Penn Station to the first stop on the highway for Alamo. Call Carolyn, Charles, Dr. Santana, and Rita, who calls back at 9PM to say she MAY take Mom to Florida with her to HER house before moving her into a home. "What's my plan in Akron about the car and apartment?" I feel swamped with everything I have to do before going to Akron.
MONDAY, 7/15/96: 11AM: Phone Wendy: I have to see Harvey to sign papers and I tell Danielle that it's OK that Dr. Chung, a psychologist, diagnose Mom for depression. Mom's in Room 318, bed 1. 9PM: Rita calls with "Mom-list" for me.
TUESDAY, 7/16/96: 8:20AM: Charles, early? No: 11AM! 10AM: Terry Kornak: Quick job? No. 10:15AM: Marion is worried. Leave 10:40AM. 10:55: No Charles, buy 644 water. Charles arrives 10:06. 11:30: To Newark, JUST miss 11:35 bus, on at 11:50, off at 12:05 at Alamo. 1PM out of Alamo: they couldn't find the KEYS to the car and had no OTHER small car to rent! 2:30PM into Dorney Park for $3.50 parking. For adults it's $25 but for those 60 and over it's only $4.95, and I get CHARLES in for the mature price! Wait 2:45-3 for Hercules which is very BUMPY and not very high, though it rides down toward murky green lakewaters. 3:15 onto Thunder Canyon train, like many others. 3:35-3:40 Laser has two loops for a poor ride. Buy chicken nuggets for $2.50, awful. 4-4:05 on the Thunderhawk, not very interesting. Awful hamburg for $3.15. Leave park at 4:35, crossing it off my list unless they revitalize mightily. 5:25-5:30 stop to look around downtown Jim Thorpe, including an old bed and breakfast that fascinates Charles. To Elysburg at 7:20, lovely old tree-nestled park smelling and sounding like the wonderful childlike past, and on Phoenix line at 7:35, each ride is $1.40, no charge for the park. Off the GREAT ride at 7:50: long, smooth, not HIGH but WELL-paced and thrilling. It DESERVES to be on a "great roller coaster" list at #8. Onto Steel Whirlwind at 8PM and off at 8:05, OK with three "odd angled loops." To GREAT "Haunted House" to 8:10: LONG ride, many separate rooms, "modern" effects, we both loved it, may even keep in mind to return here. Leave at 8:30, getting dark. Dine in Elizabethville pizza (Charles) and sub (me) house from 10:15 to 11PM, keeping them open when they planned to close before their 11PM closing.
WEDNESDAY, 7/17/96: To Motel 8 in Harrisburg at 12:20AM. To sleep INSTANTLY. Wake at 8:32AM to hear Charles in JOHN! Take shower, out at 9:05, check out 9:15. Drive nice West Front Road to capital at 9:30AM, looking for breakfast. Find the Esquire Deli for bacon-cheese omelet with bagel for $3.06 from 9:45-10:15, seeing we went 280 miles the first day. 10:30 onto North 145(?) bound HOME. Cross into Ohio at 3PM and 4PM drop Charles off in Talmadge after turning me down WRONG Talmadge Circle road and have a LONG wait to get back to turn again. Agree to pick him up at 10AM Sunday, since he MUST stay THREE days. Tell him to make Sunday Fallingwater reservation since it's closed Mondays. He got $0 receipt from his first attempt at pumping gas: latch UP starts it. Memorial Bridge CLOSED so I try Noble, Exchange, turn back, and to Market to 4:30. No one in the office! At 4:45 I go to FRONT of building and Gwen calls down to me. I'm hot and tired and sore and need to pee. VERY humid. Into apartment 4:55, phone Manor Care, and out at 5:15 after getting NEW mailbox key. To Mom to 6PM. I should have BROUGHT the mail. Clothes? Are her RINGS safe? Saturday is Fun Fare. Back to phone Doris and Edna and Charles and Marion and Helen. Back to Mom 7:20-8:35. Eat her last Mobile Meal (pretty awful fish that didn't thaw in microwave) to 9:25. Note: take tomorrow: 1) shoes and thin sox for therapy for Mom, 2) "Insurance" and "Life insurance," 3) Sharon (Adams' secretary): can Mom sign if RITA isn't there? 4) Checks for Mom to sign for her account. Ask Gwen: how to turn AC on? (thermostat!), how MUCH is July rent? (same). Shopping: toilet paper and milk. Copy down 8 addresses from FINANCIAL mail she's gotten. Phone Rita 9:28-9:50PM. "Book" under carpet in corner? Find Mom's checks. Phone Marion 10:10-10:22. She has pocketbook IN hospital. Checkbook IN there. She FELL on July 1. Look at check and bills and book, including 1994 stock-lists, to 11:30, figuring she's worth ROUGHLY $122,646 from what she has THERE. Wash face and get to bed at 11:40PM, EXHAUSTED, not even bothering to change sheets on Mom's bed!
THURSDAY, 7/18/96: Up at 6:50AM, lay til 7:10 in bed, fitful. Make possibility-lists! Hunt for pack of paper til 7AM. 8:15: Helen calls: come to breakfast. Helen gives me a list: "Medicare pays 20 days when coming from the hospital, then 21-100 days all but $92/day, which co-insurance pays. So 100 days paid (but only if she needs THERAPY!). Manor Care is $111 and $129 per day for $3330 and $3870 per month. Rockyknoll is $2301/month for assisted care but they have none. Nursing is $140/day for $4200/month. Chanbrel is $137 and $167/day. St. Edward's $110 and $126; Valley View is $153 and $161. So where she is is best." 9AM, leave for Bob Evans. 9:15 arrive, #4 for $3 to 10:15. Acme for groceries 10:30-11:15. Out of Helen and Jimmy's at 11:30. Rita said I should have KNOWN not to do that! Talk and sign with Harvey for a half hour; Wendy brushes off all she can; therapist who's training Mom in walking in a walker, (she was sent to Manor Care July 11, CAN be in therapy for 20 days, till July 31). [Then Rita's told she's going into PRIVATE pay on MONDAY, July 29! because she's finished with therapy.] I'm there at 2:10, take her down to Bingo to find that it starts at 3PM. Put her with a nun, dash to Key Bank and get receipt by 2:40, back to call lawyer John Adams, who'll be in Saturday at 1:30 with Durable Power of Attorney for Finance. Dr. Chung will be in on Friday, at SOME time, but no one can tell WHEN. Write out do-lists for Friday and Saturday and catch up with notes by 3:25PM, Mom AT Bingo and HATING it. Talk to Gwen from 3:35PM to 3:50: the rent will be $966; any furniture left will be OK, given to home for homeless; can have estate sale, any note that she can write up would get lots of customers; "It's enough to put signs in the halls, lots of people want furniture." Need a week's notice. Clothes could be donated to Goodwill or Good Neighbors. Phone: call to disconnect. Electricity would be taken off her NAME. There's a THERMOSTAT for the a/c. "Rita wants the car?" No problem. Estate sale is articles tagged with price; it runs itself; Friday/Saturday or Saturday/Sunday. "People here work ALL hours." GET Rita's address and Living Will and Health Statement by 3:55PM. ALL garbage down the chute, unsorted. 4PM to Rockynoll, needs nursing: Medicaid is ONLY in nursing. Assisted-care will be available in 2-6 months, NURSING bed not so long. NO one from Rockynoll went to the hospital. Studio for assisted care (also for Alzheimers) assumes 5.31 years of living there and requires $183,000. One bedroom assisted care requires $236,000. Nursing (semi-private) requires $197,000, private $234,000, and assumes 3.64 years of life. They will NOT move anyone to nursing just to get Medicaid. Fill out application, find if she cost-qualifies, and then they'll evaluate her. I'm out at 4:30. Afterwards, Mom makes a list of the 6 checks she signs for $1416.41, and of the 4 checks she makes out for $226.72. Harvey on Insurance: is it Prudential? There's a Society Bank safe-deposit box. Mom's most frequent statement: "I don't care and I don't give a damn." Followed by "Paul will be richest of you all." I leave for LUNCH at 4:45. Leave Pazzzo's at 5:45, $18 for veal marsala, beer, and bean soup. To Mom's tired and she won't sign anything, so I say "I'm leaving before I get mad at you." Talk to Rita 6:35-7:45. Wendy: "Are you competent" test SCHEDULED by Florence Law. Rita: "She could sign HERSELF out!" Key Bank: IS Rita ON the signature card? She HAS the key, it's box #146, and they say SHE can open it HERSELF. Make out a list of things to do Friday: 1) Insurance cards to Harvey with Living Will and DPA/Health. 2) My and Rita's addresses and phone numbers to Sharon, Adam's secretary. 3) Change of address for Mom to Manor Care [later rethought to Rita's, which Gwen does after I leave because mailman doesn't put change-form in mailbox on Friday or Saturday]. 4) See Dr. Chung. Helen says I should go to St. Edwards, which is right on Ghent Road before Fairlawn (but it was the mall AFTER that one), left on Smith one mile, past McDowell Library to St. Edwards at 3131 Smith Road, phone 666-1183. Talk to her 7:45-7:57. Leave word with Marion to call me. 8:50-9:15: Helen calls back: Mom's Catholic, Edward's wife's mother, Mrs. Beck, was there in 1970s. I sort through papers till 10:35PM. FILE to 10:50PM, bed at 11PM, again exhausted.
FRIDAY, 7/19/96: Up at 7:40, shower, leave word for Florence Law at 8:20. 8:25 call Wendy who tells me to see Danielle, and Danielle will call ME. I call for MY messages: 1) Don is leaving, 2) Adrienne from Garland wants a name index for a 450-page book, 3) Vicki and 4) Lina say "Gimme a call." I need a marker for Mom's clothes. Talk to Don 8:40-9. 9AM: Manor Care: "Dr. Chung not there yet." Eat breakfast. Sort through papers. 9:50: lost Garland index. 9:57-10:15 Florence Law phones: information to Probate Court. Foster care can be ambulatory, semi-independent, or medication boxes. Need power of attorney for finances for bills. Florence needed ORIGINALS from Colleen Silva, not a copy from Dr. Shirey, which diagnosis would be INVALID after ten days ANYWAY! I should talk to Legal Aid. Dannielle needs to send ORIGINAL of Dr. Chung's evaluation to Florence at Department of Human Services, 47 North Main Street, Building 2, floor 2, Akron 44308. Talk to Rita 10:20-10:35. 10:40: trash out, leave with CLOTHES. Call ICWU at 867-2444 if I can't find her insurance card. Call at 12:15 and told I must call back at 1:15 for Norman Dietrick or the President's office. Try Gwen at 12:17 at 253-4858 and it's not working. At 12:18 call Prudential insurance and find she's a member but has NO health insurance. At 12:20 try to phone automobile insurance and get to Customer Relations at 1-800-423-6789 and find that the auto policy was cancelled, and Rita was told this on July 8, 1996. She was in group 77092. Mom's social-security number is 292-20-8341. Local code 3 of Retirees-Medicare supplement. Helen says I should give HER the green jade afghan, but when I saw Rita wants it she says to give it to Rita. Helen wanted the exercise bike until I told her it was broken, so she didn't get to pay someone $5 (or $10) for a truck to deliver it to her. Rita gives me her two macrames. Rita will arrive in a couple of weeks. I ask Mom if AARP insurance is with Prudential and she says "I think." She talks of Jewish lawyer in the apartment building, then on her floor. "Tell Rita I'll go down with her." 1:15 I talk to Norman Dietrick: "White card with blue letters." 1-800-848-9200: "Call this number and ask if she has medical insurance." Insurance card ASO-035. Lots of other numbers. At 1:45 Harvey tries to get it and GETS it. 2:05: Try "replacement insurance card." and copy of policy. Get it sent to Rita. 2:24: Back to Mom in therapy. Still waiting for Dr. Chung. Bests (patient and husband in next bed) said he'd be in at 12:30PM! Mom wants 2-3 tops. Gwen says the lawyer is James Feldman, who's always helpful but schizophrenic, don't talk to him. 3:25 I go to St. Edwards, notable for lots of candy, back at 4:15PM. They have no space for 9-12 months. 4:35PM, I must call 1-800-848-9200. VERY funny: "I hear it in your voice; if Medicare is PRIMARY insurance, you don't HAVE to call for this." 4:50PM: Mom wants jewelry and clothes and photo albums. "My cheek hurts." She adds, "Take what you gave me." But she wants to KEEP the Jerusalem Missal. I should bring summer clothes to choose. Throw perfumes away or give to Rita. Rita takes TV. Helen can have green afghan. Leave 5:35PM for dinner at Arby's; back at 6PM and Dr. Chung is next door. Mom says "I wanna suffer." Her ONLY pair of glasses are ON her. Tailbone x-ray is OK. CAT scan showed no focal lesions, only small-vessel disease, or small strokes, which CAUSE physical and mental deterioration. Shirey said there was no evidence of depression. Talwin is only for sedation. Zoloff will see her in Manor Care. 6:35: Dr. Chung's phone is 928-8700. Call him if Mom won't cooperate. Shirey said she had delerium and confusion and she'd get better; Chung says she WON'T be better. "Needs a good internist." "A VERY progressive disease." NO nutritional deficiencies. I pass all this along to Rita. "If she's agreeable to move, move her" STARTED in skilled, THEN to assisted living, then BACK to skilled when she needs it. Talk to 7:05. Mom: Rita's SICK. "Car needs oil change very bad: couple thousand miles over." I leave at 7:15, give check to Gwen, who says we'll be OUT on 8/31. I put television on for Olympics Opening Ceremonies. 7:35: Rita: "Call in half an hour." 7:38: call Helen who STILL says me and Rita should give up our lives to take care of Mom in her apartment. Talk to Rita 8:05-10:05PM! Photos are mine. Talk to Marion 10:15 to 10:47. She'll be AT the tent or the room at 4-4:30 tomorrow, then we'll go for dinner. 10:49: call my number but no NEW messages. Olympics to 12:30, looking at old photos of which I keep TEN, and get to bed at 1:16AM, sorry I promised to be at Helen's at 8.
SATURDAY, 7/20/96: Up at 7:23AM, only 6:07 hours sleep. 7:40: pack the stuff that I'm taking into suitcase for HELEN to see. 7:55: Rita calls: car air conditioned? I freak. 7:59: leave. 8:05-8:35 at Helen's: NOT look at photos, and don't bother to show MOM. She gives me fifteen 324 stamps to mail Mom's bills, the rest of which I LEAVE on table for Rita. Mom seems to have GOTTEN Heinz quarterly dividend when Helen and Jimmy missed their 7/11 billing. 8:45 water the plants: there IS a fern, but it's dead, on the terrace. Talk to Rita 8:50-9:25, then breakfast. 9:50: leave for Mom's with clothes and two pieces of jewelry. Take two "diamonds" to Henry B. Ball's to 10:05AM: glass. NO knowledge of Larry or Ernest. At Mom's 10:10-10:30: "You're ten minutes late." "I watched some Olympics." Takes ALL clothes for her closet! Her "other" doctor is Delphi Toth, but he's not here today. 10:40: Back to apartment for garage: all the way to the RIGHT. "Pagoda-top" key, and it's a RED Tempo L., license KKP-815, 12-95 sticker, 7631 miles, LITTLE gas, DOES run, warranty auto card for 1991. HAS air conditioning: "Max AC." Third slot, key to get OUT of garage, and MAIN door key DOESN'T work, so I walk up exit. Talk to Rita 10:55 to 11:05. IRS estimated forms? No. 12-96 sticker? No. Mark clothes. Gwen will get the statement of breaking the lease on the apartment. I go through BILLS (making notes, sorting) to 12:10PM. Through Beacon Journal bills to 12:20. Through Mobile Meals to 12:45. Go to Manor Care (No address change in mailbox). Gwen isn't there when I pass at 12:30 and 3:30PM. Need to tell her that 1) Gabrielle will send her the lease-break letter, 2) SHE should change Mom's address to Rita's, and 3) the keys are there for her to take. Get Mom to sign two MORE checks that I found, but put them out for Rita to deposit. John Adams is CUTE, with no wedding ring on his fingers, while Michelle HAS one, the witness he brought. He ALMOST talks Mom out of signing, but she DOES, all four copies which he leaves with ME. I take one and leave three for Rita at Mom's. Get a wheelchair for Mom and take her down to the Fun Fest at 2:30, taking delicious hot dogs, relish, popcorn, watermelon, potato salad, cole slaw, potato chips for me and Mom, and THEN she wants her CAMERA! I take off, telling the Social Worker that maybe NOW Mom will talk to someone ["Of course I did!" she retorts, lying, when I ask her afterward], dashing back at 3:30 to search for her camera, then remember I saw it in the drawer, thankful that she's only taken 5 of the 12 on this roll. Take MY camera too, and back about 4 to find the Fair being disassembled, but she takes shots of nurses and workers and signs she likes, and as usual ends up saying "I've just got two shots left, one for Marion and one for Helen." Tell Marion to develop them for Mom. Back to room at 5, Mom tired, and Marion comes in, chats, then we leave for her to look through stuff: taking HER gift to Mom of the decoupage wooden handbag which I'm SURE Mom never used, some of the knickknacks from the table, and one gold jewel-studded Christmas tree that she's sure Rita HAS one of, also a wicker basket and a ceramic Xmas tree that she knows MOM made in a class. She drives to Johnny G's and we eat from 8 to 10:30, driving me back to get car, sozzled with good Merlot and Surf and Turf dinner and her Swiss Chicken that I pay $62 for by Visa. Bed about 11.
SUNDAY, 7/21/96: Wake at 5:20 and 6:42, shit at 6:50. Throw things out to 7:45, shower to 8, pack, check my machine 8:10AM: no new messages. Breakfast to 8:25, call Rita to 8:55, then call Gwen and leave word, and call Charles to tell him to meet me at 10:15. To Mom's from 9-9:20, TOLD her "Rita's looking for a PLACE, skilled care to assisted-living, and after a couple of years (Mom here says "HUNH!") go back to skilled care." Final talk to Rita 9:30-9:35. Pack and finish and shit and leave at 9:53, drive away at 9:59 after a PANIC: can't find the CAR key! Lift trunk from INSIDE with relief, search frantically, finally find it in the CAR DOOR! Pick up Charles at 10:20, driving delay in Salem, get gas in Winstonville(?) at 1PM, no good place to eat in town, and on to try Tradesmen's Inn for a bacon supreme for $5, two lemonades for $1.50, and split six (whole!) buffalo wings for $3.75, HOT! Out at 2:35, DASH through Ohiopyle by 3:45 and get on an 11-person tour 61 of Fallingwater, 3:50-4:50, for $12, then stroll woods to 6PM, order GOOD map from 1-800-Visit-PA, and into Somerset at 9:15, dark, and I'm TIRED! 888 miles on car. Dine at Pine Court from 9:45-10:30, when they're closing, across for $2.60 for two hot fudge Dairy Queen sundaes, and back to crummy $31 Budget Inn room for woman's gymnastics on TV and bed at 11:10PM.
MONDAY, 7/22/96: LOTS of dreams, forgotten but for the fact that one was with Bill MacMahon, and up at 7:40, Charles going in to bathroom. Put TV on, raining out. Out without showering at 8:15 and drive to Johnstown, up the 9:15AM incline ride to the big flag and nice museum at top, down at 10:45, brunch 11:05-11:35 at the Midtown Diner. Then to the Johnstown Flood Museum, not bothering with parking meter quarter after it runs out at 1PM before the showing of the movie, which is pretty good. Out at 2PM and drive east to Altoona and get lost trying to find Lakemont (which was CLEARLY marked on the NEW map which Charles didn't like to use), but get in about 3PM, paying $5 entry fee while Charles gets in free because he's not riding on anything. Zip to the roller coaster which just stopped, to have a good ride---GREAT uplift at the top of the first hill---to the exit---and go through a SECOND time! I figure they're playing games with me! But when we go through a THIRD time, and then a FOURTH, I'm told that the BRAKES are wet and won't WORK! Laugh all the way to the water-area, looking around, then to the Casino-modern section, and leave just before 4PM, when the park is closing because of rain. Continue east to Gettysburg, which Charles wants to see, and price a Budget room at $72, then get to a Gettysburg Budget for $47 which Charles pays for. See spots dripping from under car! AND forgot to mention ROCK which fell from a truck and left a PIT in the windshield! Terrifying! Drive into the center of town and eat in a crowded Gettysburg Central Cafe, sitting in a booth where I have ribs and Charles has a large salad, sharing a carafe of White Zinfandel, ending with good desserts, particularly my Domino Cake. Back to bed.
TUESDAY, 7/23/96: Wake about 7AM, get in to shower (and leave my shampoo in the shower!) and out about 7:45, deciding it's raining too hard to really SEE anything in Gettysburg. Speed east and I get pulled over by a Warren Township patrol car that he only wants to pay 1/3 of the $76 ticket for speeding 1-15 miles (70) over the limit of 55, and he complains that the county makes its LIVING through these tickets. Nothing I can do about it, but it puts me so out of shape that when I switch into a slower lane, I almost CLOBBER a car in my BLIND SPOT behind me! Drive slower about 1PM, stop for the last tank of gas as the signal keeps flashing AGAIN, like last time, and Charles is "suddenly" incapacitated by an earache that prevents him from doing anything, including looking at the map to see how I get back to Alamo, but still get checked in about 1:45PM, get the leaving shuttle to Newark Airport, ride the newly operating shuttle-monorail to Terminal C, where we pass through and wait for the 2:40 NJ Transit bus to Newark Penn Station. Quick trip home, VERY tired, and at 3:20 phone Christine Murphy of Garland, LW with Don, LW with Ellen Bilofsky, fill Marj in 3:30-4, talk to John 4-4:16, have lunch; Pope DIDN'T get Sunday Times, but has magazine and book and TV books, and pick them up in time to watch the Olympics while sorting out things from the trip. Really tired from trip!
WEDNESDAY, 7/24/96: Start at 8:30 calling Edgardo, Pope, Susan, Gwen; meet Leroy at 10:30 to see Dennis, and Florence Law is NOT pursuing Ohio guardianship!