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4/7/89: SKEW UNIVERSE

Iwoke, recalling a dream:
lost on a trip in Siam,
wandering paths in a jungle
with a smell under the blankets
----had my body decayed?----
shouting girls before the cantonment,
where the guard said "We don't want you here,"
when they laughed and asked where we were on the map
and Iwoke, asking where the Lahl Hotel was located,
followed them down a side street where they
threw fortunes in matchsticks and Iwoke,
realizing the scam, broke into the jungle
where a striped tiger, nursing spotted cubs,
ran through calves without nipping any of them,
----had my fever-dream continued?----
late for the 8PM tour of ethnic dance,
spotted through hedges where music
played wetly in the twilight, after
waking fellow-tourists in the bus
to apologize for being the last
back from the river-voyage on the waters
where snakes swam in sheathed rainbow silks
----had my entrance been missed?----
and the tiger returned as a purring cat to
weave chocolate satin through my ears when
bells played dessert-tastes on my fingers
where travelers feared werewolves in were-
realities when the underground leaves them stranded
on the platform, arriving too late for scheduled departure
----rites of passages of transition?----
missing factuality by moments of distraction
as tumbled sheets admit temperature differences
that hint of changes not quite grasped in those
klongs of Siam, stretching for hours before Iwoke,
springing up in surprise, testing realism
----entry to skew universes?----
hoping for the best but fearing the worst
platitudes left far ahead
----fungi among me?----
left in the mazement of nucertainty notcertainly.
Trebor Kazrenloz

(Return to JEWELBOX, unless you want more poetry):

Doggerel composed in a few hours at end of Russian trip:

CHINA - FAREWELL POEM Delivered 8/20/81

FAREWELL POEM

Was going to start: Trains, trains ----
What pains!
But decided not to leave you off so easily. Ahem!

"Twas the night before train-time; all through the Victoria,
The passengers gathered in a state of Uproaria.
One Christopher Knolles introduced himself Chief of us,
And said "YOU ALL CHOSE THIS TRIP," to show his belief in us.

Our CHAMPAGNE debut was a farce with much WINE lacking ---
Already some people had started their illness by HACKING.
I whispered morosely to my roommate George Parras,
(I assure you my words weren't meant to embarrass):
"It cannot be said that this group is real groovy.
We're trapped with a cast from a bad Mel Brooks movie."

Then off to bed to get some sleep, storing up rest ADELANTE --- (BEFORE)
The next morning our champagne meal was only Asti Spumante.
Was this a trend, from start to end, so painful to gain admittance?
We spent for a luxury but --- were only give a pittance?

Whatever the case --- eleven ill-assorted pairs, plus Olga ---
We started off with hearts in our throats by train toward the Volga.

The dining table rang and shook with anecdotes tutorial.
And some of us were heard to speak with voices professorial.

Whenever Cliff or Paddy spoke, it WAS in tones quite teacherly.
While Clarence Miller held the floor with intonation preacherly.

In fact Naomi, quietly, wishing he'd tell his joke quicker,
Said, "Please do finish it this MONTH," not wanting to seem to bicker.

Then one fine night the Bobbsey twins --- better known as Midge and Polly
Described the Russian Amazon who moved their fridge, by golly!

"Hello Mudda, Hello Fadda, here we are at, Camp Renata:"
Midge has been at, her Scotch bottle; so she touts her, Alma Mater.

Polly manages very well, her Hepburn-voice is so commanding.
She can get anyone to order ice without even demanding.

(Local color)
We thought of a tundra, and icy-cold nights,
And maybe a touch of those Northern Lights.
But what an amazement, and what a surprise ---
To be greeted at 3 with a hot-pink sunrise!
Such flowers and sunshine, oh WHAT could be CHEEiah,
Than spending a summer in Southern Siberia?

(Back to people)
Let no one omit the newly-wed tipplers, the Carpenters.
Bernice's bent straw, Ben explained with a laugh, "The BAR bent HERS."
Ben insists he's damn well proud to be 82 and gratified;
If I could do as well as he, I'm sure that I'd be satisfied!

The Litvais: Pauli, the good Doctor; Toni, never the vulgarian;
Looked down on English and always spoke with her husband in Hungarian.
The acupuncturist might cure himself of some addictions:
Cigars, his wife, his pipe, his film: not ALL of them afflictions.
These are not all MY thoughts alone, but rather a consensus;
These jokes are made in sport, I hope, and offer no offensus.

(Change of meter)
We raced day and night o'er the great Russian steppe
With Lizzi and Nini and cucumbers for PEP.
Tugriks and mongos and kumuss and yurt ---
We toured in Mongolia days that it HURT.
ONE Bob went to movies, saw a couple of hits.
ANOTHER Bob danced 'twixt a couple of (TITS) --- enlarged mammary glands!

What can be said of our good friend the Blums?
How many silences broken in rooms?
Complaints freely offered; oh boy, oh boy!
"My God, OY, JO-OE --- what is in HERE?"
Here comes OUR Annie, disperser of CHEER.

Then there are Heenan and Reese; his names are different from her names
They argue so much, they can't even agree on their SURNAMES.
The Captain orders all about in accents military,
While Edith speaks each word so crisp its like she's eating cel'ry.

Done with the couples, now it's the turn of the singles:
The disco crowd, the bar-stool crowd, the crowd that mingles.

The man with the moustache and baritone: Beeton;
His comedy flair was Colonna, not Keaton.
But his temperature soared to hundred and two ---
That's more than he wanted, so to L.A. he flew.

"OY, would you look at that thin derriere??!"
That's Ann on who? Rene Mendez-LaPierre!!
With his Spanish smile, and his French savoir-faire
He's sure to have more than ONE daughter, somewhere.

As a roommate George Parras is neat as a pin,
And so quiet I don't even know when he's in.
But out with "the boys," at a disco or three,
I bet he is ready for --- yep --- QUITE a spree!

(Meter change again!)
Pat Anger's one who's longest kept his Mao-cap on his head.
He knows he needs help to keep his pate from getting RED.
His English skill assists our guides in PERfecting their diction,
Thus easing race-relations with a minimum of friction.

More often than not a single, more often than not in suites:
This gal has a gal with the key-men, that nothing ever beats.
Our only French, our sole Canadian, one who'll never tire ---
I'm sure you all will know by NOW, THIS verse was on Olga LeMeier.

Werner Heikel, ein Berliner, joined us late in Germany.
Sold his rubles at a bargain, added Russian currency.
Talking English, talking German, laughing with us, 'neath his lorgnette,
Had his fill of blasted tourists, so WE feel a touch of scorn yet.

No time wasted, no food wasted, no experience untasted;
No words softened, no help offered, any luxury lambasted;
Werner Hoerning? Former German, new Australian, could it be he?
Merely shining bright example of German practicality!

Warmth and cheer and humor bubbling, politics was not taboo.
Nadya dear, our favorite Russian, would that you guide China too!
(Different guide)
Fledgling tour guide, Judge's daughter, Tien Hue is her Chinese name.
But we tourists say "Miss China," and our meaning's all the same.

(Department of anticlimax)
Paragon of patience, arm of iron, voice of gold, will of steel:
Christopher, Chris, our leader, guide, how can we say what we feel?
We love you? Drop dead? Change your job? Change your tune? What can we say?
As a matter of fact, without you, Chris, we wouldn't BE here today!

Through American and Africa he traveled for a year ---
Paul's encountered natives, lions, berbers, mau-maus, girls, and deer.
He's learned patience, wit, endurance, and a tolerance of glooms;
Why he's even one of few of us who tolerate the (Blums) --- weather!

Learned, quick, and bright Cliff Simm is British as English toffee,
But please don't talk to him before he's had his morning coffee.
When faced with shops he is inclined to be a bit unruly,
Though not as bad, I must admit, as Zolnerzak, yours truly.

If forced into an encore, I can offer just one more rhyme.
Myself, I'd do much better at life, if I only had more TIME.

DID NOT READ:
I was heard to exclaim, as I rode out of sight,
"Happy Hong Kong to all, and to all THEIR DELIGHT."