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1958 2 of 3


SUNDAY, JUNE 1. Up at 12 and shower and come and fix room and sandbag until 2:15. Get call from Bill and eat at College Inn and meet him at 3:30. Sun from 4 to 5 in Riverside Park and then he comes up here and he says goodbye and it is drawn out and drawn out until I say, "Oh, heck with letters, stay," and he stays. We have just a glorious time until 8 pm, and he goes and I eat at Rikers and back to type long morbid letters to Bruce, taking from 9-12. Listen to Midnight Reader and cut out New Yorkers and shower and look with disgust at blemished torso and to bed at 1:30. Correction---revised notebook until 2 am.

MONDAY, JUNE 2. Up at 10 and write letters and watch Graduation ceremonies until noon. Down to lunch and over to see that I flunked 116. Back to more letters and moaning to Chuck. Chuck comes over for supper at the New Asia, and I go down to see "Nights of Cabiria" and "Gates of Paris," first tremendous. Back by way of Riverside and see the sights. Back to a Senior prom and counting 14, and wander chairs. In at 2 to graham crackers and New Yorkers and to bed at 3.

TUESDAY, JUNE 3. Up at 9 and wash quickly and over to apartment, meeting Art and not seeing landlord. Back to breakfast and up to New Yorkers and letters, then getting absolutely enthralled with graduation of 6,200 students from Columbia University---in particular a magnificent 25 minutes processional and recessional and large fellow in orange shirt. Down to survey wreckage and eat at 7, after talking to Bob and Barlow. Begin horrid job of packing, finding five objects plus. Finish about 12 and shower and get to bed about 12:30.

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 4. Up at 8:30 and down to cop coaster wagon, load two suitcases, full box, typewriter, trunk, briefcase and two coats on, go down, back up, unload half and make two laborious trips back and forth, Dave lending helping hand. Moved in at last by 3. Put things away and take many phone messages and make many of them myself. Type letters and transcribe Coney Island and out at 10 to meet Bill on Riverside. Talk platonically for an hour and up to his place for an hour and a half of standing passive that I almost flip over. Buy groceries and back to yogurt and bed at 1 am, in sleeping bag.

THURSDAY, JUNE 5. Up at 9 and welcome Schmitt at 10 and hunt for super. Go to pick up check and run errands and register for summer Russian course and debate about shopping and end up seeing tremendous double at Loews of "Seven Brides for Seven Brothers" and "King Solomon's Mines." In from 2 to 6 and out to change quickly and down to 14th Street for pork chops and to 17th for 1½ hours of talking and reading and three hours and 24 pictures. He develops a bit and I leave at 1:30, travel till 2:30 and get to bed at 3.

FRIDAY, JUNE 6. Up at 4 and lie until 7, up for first breakfast in new place (hard boiled eggs). Miscellaneous details again detain me from shopping and I find WQXR works VERY well and type letters from 11 to 2, as Dave runs in and out and finally leaves at 2:30. Up to type and look over place again and call Bill up to see apartment, and he comes up and we loll about for a couple hours, oh-so-nice, then down to walk and up to his place, for a short bit, then I get back down here about 1.

SATURDAY, JUNE 7. Bounce up in the AM and fiddle about a bit, calling Julian and down to shop for sheets, shoes and towels on 14th Street from 2-5. Up to call from Julian at 6:30 and at 7 I take off to 405 East 54th Street, Penthouse G, for five fantastic people and terraces and sculptured apartment. Down to 316 Club at 8:30 to a few drinks and roast beef and onion soup that's horrid, so Julian tells both owners and two waiters, pays, and out we go. Up to Regents, both quite high and eat ham steak, quite good, and Julian talks of everyone and introduces me to a half-dozen things. Out after $17 at 10:30, down to East River for an instant and to At Charles to reminisce about our anniversary and to his place for a talk about his nephew and I try to cry, but it doesn't work.

SUNDAY, JUNE 8. We get to bed and do a bit, then I talk and talk and talk about just everything, until 6 am. He gives me Realities and I'm back at 7:15 and bed about 8, phone at 10, 10:30, 11, 12, and 1 and I decide enough, so get up at 1:30 and down to Bob Brown's for picture selecting, talking about most anything, have a lovely dinner of pork shoulder, mashed spuds, and vegs and ice box cake and salad. Quite good and we eat and talk and talk until 11 and I get in and call Chuck at 11:45 and he comes for 3/4 Scrabble and sees apartment and he leaves at 2 and at 3:45 I put down "I Survived Hitler's Ovens" and fall into bed.

MONDAY, JUNE 9. Up at 8, need I say tired? And to first Russian class. Study between and then the conversation session and out to call everyone and try to settle apartment and spend an hour getting groceries and placing them. First good lunch in. Scrub for an hour on sink and tub and fix apartment up nice, putting my luggage away and making place livable. After 3 and 4 hours, put 1/2 luggage away and see Bill shortly (and funly) and go to bed early. Back to find Marcia. We talk till 12 and I out to Riker's for supper and back to Art and Marcia until 1:30, when I finally get to bed.

TUESDAY, JUNE 10. Up at 8 again gives only 6½ hours sleep. Class passes and I get groceries galore and start cleaning refrigerator and time flies past and Dave comes to pack and I type and study while he gets ready and call Bill over. He arrives and we talk till 7 and when Dave stays Bill and I go for walk along drive and up to his place for a bit of fun until 12 and back to talk with Dave and to bed at 1, still very tired.

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 11. Help Dave out with his stuff at 8 and back to breakfast and class. Toddle up to "sun roof" for an hour and down to shower and parade myself. Julian calls and I eat and break neck cleaning apartment up for his arrival at 6. We talk and I show him place till 7:30, then down to bar for drinks and again I call Bill and go over there, getting engrossed, but still troubled by lack of starch---he does but I doesn't. Parting such sweet sorrow and I get back at 12 and study a bit until 1:20 and fall into bed.

THURSDAY, JUNE 12. Up and try to do lots and end doing nothing before class. Art arrives later and we busy about getting things in their place. Chuck picks up keys and Art goes, so up to roof for another hour and down to another shower and lunch and posing. Start reading New Yorker and Robert Sheckley and end up cleaning kitchen sink and not eating supper till after 8. End up by reading all of Sheckley and not getting much except bare essentials done. Call Bill over and we lounge about and I get to bed very late and get up for classes feeling poorly.

FRIDAY, JUNE 13. Last class of week goes fairly well and back to read much mail. Get some letters out and manage to do quite a bit of nothing, thinking of Bill most of the time. Though it seems we're both afraid to admit it to the other, I think we're both in love with each other, which is saying quite a bit. Bill comes over and then we go over to Andy's to make tiger's milk and then back here for food and drink and sex. Again to bed late.

SATURDAY, JUNE 14. Saturday I get a lot of details finished, spend quite a bit of time talking with Chuck and quite a bit of time getting letters out. Try to find someone to go to show with me, but fail, so set out to wander lazily through the Village Art Show, to Art Theater, to write and see stunning "Beauty and the Beast" and so-so "Long Hot Summer." Out and decide to hit the high spots, ending at Colony with magnificent torsos and at Lenny's with lovely looking people---good sights at both. Home at 3:30 and creep around so as not to wake up Chuck sleeping in the next room. Get to bed about 4, I suppose.

SUNDAY, JUNE 15. Chuck creeps through at 10 and I get up at 11:30 and get late to 12:30 Mass at Our Lady of Notre Dame Church on beautiful Morningside Drive. Back and call up Bill for sunning and over to Andy's to lay from 2-5, listening to Beethoven's 9th and talking away. I'm back to read Times and work puzzle and then call Bill over and we have utterly fantastic set-to, we very nearly going down on each other---gasping with emotion. I come and he doesn't. Bill's returning makes me nervous, so we dress and he leaves at 11. I study until 12:30 and flop exhausted into my bed of straw.

MONDAY, JUNE 16. Up for class and help Stevens put up his hi-fi, moving things about to accommodate it and listening to quite a bit of music, and my first on is Beethoven's Fifth. Bill comes back over and we talk and finally get going slightly again, to both our pleasures, but Steven returns and they talk and Bill leaves. I get to bed about 1:30.

TUESDAY, JUNE 17. The days flow quickly into each other with only minor things as shopping and getting a haircut interrupting a schedule of class, day-dreaming and moping and studying and listening to music. Never have eaten lunch before 3 or supper before 7, missing supper completely today, when I call Chuck over to 2/3 Scrabble and Cesira's cookies come and I listen to records again, while sending off Indian cards to stall writing letters. Falling farther and farther behind in class, too, my lack of pronunciation practice and my stupidity of vocabulary and declensions makes practice sessions miserable. Spend evening reading "Sick, Sick, Sick" and a large part of Max Schulman's Threesome, all while listening to records.

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 18. Call Bill and it's raining and call at 10 and go make milkshake and talk in rain for 10 minutes and I run home, getting soaked, back for more music, I move into quiet room and spend day arranging things nicely. Once I get settled, after calling Julian and Tim and Bill and Bob and getting everything arranged, maybe I'll have some time for Russian, when I'm not hearing some music. Piddle over homework until 2 am and then to bed.

THURSDAY, JUNE 19. Up fairly fresh to breakfast and dash to class, then study, then class, then to see Hayner and back up here to read paper and fix room and fix chair and put things in vague order and listen to music. Do homework for awhile and Art's over to talk and I leave at 8 and meet Bill and Arno, we talk till 9 and it's up to Bill's until 11, boy-oh-boy with peanut oil and limp me, back to homework, getting to bed at 1:30.

FRIDAY, JUNE 20. Up at 8:30, the 7-hour week doing little harm. Late by washing dishes, but I put first two sentences up and sit between Miller and Reines, and talk to both! Class and over to New Yorker and music when Chuck calls, and I'm over to lend him $5 and buy book for Cesira. Call Barlow and have supper with him and then he's up here while we compare notes till 8, whip out Times and do puzzle and decide to get down to Russian at 9. Read much and get to Russian at 10. Break off to read New Yorker and listen to records, exercise, eat supper at 1:30, and get to bed a little after 2:30 am. Zaw.

SATURDAY, JUNE 21. Up fairly late for class and stagger around until 2. Buy groceries and listen to music and eat lunch and study a bit and listen to another record and read part of Schulman and "SickSickSick" again and take laundry out and study a bit. Read New Yorker and come three times all day, last one a veritable orgy with a found rubber under the bed. Shower and eat supper at 1 am and get to bed about 2:30. Art bangs in at 3:30 and we talk until 4 and he plays music, I getting to sleep about 4:30.

SUNDAY, JUNE 22. Alarm wakes me at 11. Fix things and listen to records and eat breakfast and wash dishes till 1, when drunk exits and I call Bill and we lay on Andy's roof for 22 hours. Down to Riverside Church for a magnificent view of city and back to 111th St from 6-9, having a fantastic time, yet I still worry about limpness. Day was most spectacularly gorgeous of all, green and blue and bright and smiling. Back down to home and to Riker's for supper, wandering streets in glorious bliss at beauty of day. Back to study, drink, nurse sunburn, shower and to bed at 2 am.

MONDAY, JUNE 23. Up for class, plowing way through and up to eat lunch with Art and I'm off to see "Moiseyev Film" and "Ballet of Romeo and Juliet," only so-so and rather good "Around World in 18 Minutes" cartoon. Back to supper and sweeping rooms and study, fixing blind, to Bill's conversation about sex, and down to talk to Bill about father complex, comic book days, religion, fears, hopes, get psychoanalyzed and told not to worry. He's so nice I may YET tell him I love him---would I mean it? Milkshake and study and to bed at 1:45. MUST get more sleep---I have a headache.

TUESDAY, JUNE 24. Up and class as usual. Back to study for an hour and write letters for 2 and call Bob and get an invite to supper. Wolf down a sandwich, get everyone's ideas on photos and subway down to Bob's. We talk and walk down to Aldo's, where we are a big hit with waiters---he pays $7.00 for meals. Walk back up looking at Bermudas, and we get back to talk to Jim, old crow, and up to look at collection, talk about his troubles, get my pictures settled and requests in and leave at 10:30, in at 11:30, study and write out commendation for Miss Domar. Bed 2:30.

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 25. Up to class and sit in library bemoaning fate and rebel and fly downtown to see "No Time for Sergeants" at Radio City, with Jubilee stage show. Back for letters and studying and get call from Bill. Over to talk with him at 8:30 and go to his place where I either actually or imagine twice that he's acting, which is bad. We're together until 11 and I strain and can't come, to my great chagrin. I get back to study and eat, but am too completely worn out to do much, so I simply fall into bed at 1 am, leaving everything for 8 am.

THURSDAY, JUNE 26. I rise, shower, do homework, all before I eat before school. School passes and I'm up for more letters (will they never end). Clean refrigerator and eat at 5 pm, dinner. Meet Chuck and talk and buy Bermudas at College Shop and walk to his apartment to meet Harold, his lovely roommate, and we play 1/2 Scrabble and talk about literature and he gives me "Eyeless in Gaza" by Huxley to read. Back at 10 and study and listen to Beethoven's 5th and daydream bit and to bed at 1:30.

FRIDAY, JUNE 27. Up to shower and class, wearing Bermudas with short socks which nobody criticizes. Mr. Miller and I converse nicely. Meet Tim on way back and escort him to apartment and we talk. I lunch largely and take off for Thalia to see first of their Summer Festival offerings, "Wages of Fear" and "Blind Desire," a good way to start. Stop off at Bill's at 7:30 and leave there at 10:30. Back down to talk and snack, and down to studies fairly steady until 1 am. Mess around until 2 and drop into bed.

SATURDAY, JUNE 28. Up at 9:30 for quite a bit of studying, then call Chuck and down again to Thalia for "Mr. Hulot's Holiday" and "Holiday for Henrietta." Out and back for supper, then call Bill and back to write letters and study until I shower and shave and out at 11 to meet Bill and down to stroll through Village, amongst ruins and McDougal Street, to Seven Steps, and past the park. He leaves about 2 and I enter Lenny's for one hour of standing. Get back to apartment at 3:30 and mess around a bit, getting to bed at 4 am.

SUNDAY, JUNE 29. Up at 11 and everyone leaves apartment, so I'm left to my own devices. Breakfast eaten at 1:30 and up to 108th Street for an hour and a half on the rooftop. Wander past movie and succumb to lure of "Horror of Dracula," gory, and "The Thing That Couldn't Die," to phantasmagoria. Back to supper and study, listening to music and surviving a party with Art, Bill and two females gabbling. Get engrossed in studying and drop into bed without even washing at 2 am.

MONDAY, JUNE 30. Up early for shower and breakfast and lurch over for the midterm exam in Russian, a very good test. Out to get Hayner's OK for three hours of lab and get Bonilla, Drew and Amick all confused about AEC. Back to lunch and study, sunning for an hour and showering again, then call Chuck and we see 7 Disney cartoons and 4 Chaplin shorts, getting out at 11:30. Wander up and meet Arno and Bill, chat, and I get in at 12. Study until 1, write this, and get to bed at 1:30.

TUESDAY, JULY 1. Up and class and see Haynor and Cummings about my summer lab and get them to agree to my three points. To discussion and call Sylvia, who suggests we get together to see "The Eagle" and "Daughter of the Sand." I get all dressed and go with her, after shoving down dinner, and thence to Condon Riley's where she tells me all about Bob's and her troubles and I console, have two drinks and leave at 8:30. Back to the puzzle and snacks and study quite a little, getting to bed at 1:30, as per usual.

WEDNESDAY, JULY 2. Up to shower and very determinedly get to class early for sentences, missing breakfast. My check comes in and I'm happy. Dress in hot suit on hotter day and bus to IBM, where I see everyone, pick up copy of program and make appointment for tomorrow. Back up here and agree to meet Bill at 10 and I wait, moan around, work puzzle, and study till then. He wears levis and is great. We go to his place for sweaty feast and even I stay up fairly steadily reaching grand climax. Leave at 12:30 and back to moon sleepily over books and decide to do homework in AM.

THURSDAY, JULY 3. Up at 7:30, shower and study, but get 10 minutes late to class after taking out three laundries. Study and rush back down to IBM for interview with Blecker, who hopes, as I do. Back and help Bill move to 108th, sweating mightily all the way. Sit in his place for a bit and I'm back to eat and study, getting ready for the final that's just a short week away. Study through 12 and put laundry away and shower and sweatingly get to bed at 1 am.

FRIDAY, JULY 4. Up to a cloudy day and I call Bill and we ride out to Coney Island for an hour and a quarter in sun and feet in water and Parachute Jump and Hurricane and wandering. Back at 5 and go to his place for a bit and some liver in tiger's milk that about makes me throw up. This marks first day I take first two tablespoons of soy oil and four vitamin pills a day, courtesy Bill. Get back here at 8 and start studying, and study through till about 1, getting quite a bit done.

SATURDAY, JULY 5. Up at 9:30 and breakfast and do assorted and sundry, then off to "A Nous La Liberte" and "Jour de Fete" at Thalia, both fair films. Back to eat and get call from Bill. I study more and go see him at 8. One thing leads to another and we're really up a tree together and my vitamins seem to be doing well. Leave at 12:30 and traipse back, shower and fall into bed at 1. Starting to worry about monstrous outbreak of black and whiteheads on my back and shoulders especially---most unsightly.

SUNDAY, JULY 6. Up at 10 and moon about, studying for awhile and munching. Dress and go to Notre Dame 15 minutes early even and back to study. The panic to learn Russian hits me and I really start learning it, doing the three lessons in almost as many hours and getting much vocabulary down, too. Chuck calls (I call him) and we talk and he falsely says he'll call back (humph). Take about 2 hours to scrawl off some much needed letters and then back into the study, falling into bed at 12:15, a new early.

MONDAY, JULY 7. I'm up at 7:30 to shower and get groceries so early and hurry back and out to a hectic Russian class, a frantic bit of time-scheduling for the summer session and discussion, a hurried lunch, stumbling first day in lab botches up on Oscilloscope, but it wasn't TOO bad. Dr. Beers is a real drag and back to lab. Listen to Beethoven's 9th while eating and talking with Julian, then study, study, study from 9 until 1:30, shower and plunge into bed at 2.

TUESDAY, JULY 8. Class and lab and class and lab and home to collapse. Eat and study and decide I can't do much more, so I call Bill to come out and walk in the rain. I go over there and listen to music as he showers and Andy runs around nude, and then we go out. Park is very empty and very, very dark and we just do what comes naturally, having a very great time of it all and feeling very close. I wear only shorts and t-shirt and Bill runs off with my keys. I get followed home and climb up to roof and down to fire escape, in window. Back up and get keys and study. Bed at 1:30.

WEDNESDAY, JULY 9. Up and down and plead successfully to be let out of lab for awhile. Study Russian all along and class, then back to eat supper and lounge about house, picking up Shell road maps and feeling very poorly indeed. Get completely disgusted and call Chuck to go to show, which we do, seeing 10½ dance films. We laugh way back and I'm back up to room, not having done last Russian lesson yet, but what the heck, I'll do it in the morning. Shower dizzily and flop into bed at 1 am.

THURSDAY, JULY 10. Up at 7:30 and study a bit and drag off to class, study quite a good bit of Russian and go to Termo, then back to find Bill has relented and done five days' dishes, and I dress to go to Biltmore and talk to Doc Sumner and Ron Downs and have capon breast in the Guard Room for $21 for 3, not including drinks, which were in the room. Back here at 9 and study last time for first half of Russian course. Feel fairly confident that I just might get an A from it. I sure hope so. Into bed at 1:30.

FRIDAY, JULY 11. Up to study a bit more for the test at 8 and potter off to class to take a fairly simply vocabulary test and a rather plural-confused translation test. Get haircut and junk and eat lunch scantily at home, then back to watch a ladybug on my pencil for half an hour and then Thermo. Back to records and study a bit, and read New Yorker and study and records and then to Bill's to go to show, but it's crowded, so we walk back through park and up to his place for a glorious set-to, but I have to almost beat my limp self to death to achieve effect. To bed at 1 and up not until 11:30, which is really plush.

SATURDAY, JULY 12. Jam down lunch and go see "Who Was That Lady I Saw You With," wild play, then to "Rouge and Noir" and "Stage-Struck" at cruisy Apollo. Wait for Chuck for half an hour and back home, to bemoan lack of food in me, and out to moon up at Bill's dark window and eat at delicatessen. Back to read New Yorker in great disgust and get to bed at 1.

SUNDAY, JULY 13. Up at 11:30 again, feeling great, but still just a mite discouraged. Call Bill and swelter on roof for two hours and then down to play and play and play and play, neither of us coming, but both enjoying playing (and shower) muchly. I tell him I missed him. Out at 8 and back to again moon about lack of food in me. Out to Tom's Restaurant at 8 and back to study and polish off New Yorker until 12. Write this and sleepily wash and get to bed at 12:30, dreading the FULL day tomorrow.

MONDAY, JULY 14. To class and dentist and class and study and class and stagger home very late, after working in lab till 6:30. Listen to music and study, study, study, along with washing dishes. Without a doubt I did more today than I've done for a long time, and it's a good thing I'm taking pills, because I have enough strength to plow through like I am doing. Dr. Rosey Sheik is very nice, she's almost enough to make me lose my fear of dentists. She hurt me needling a front gum, but she said she'd give me a local first, then the needle. The drill hurt not one bit, all hair.

TUESDAY, JULY 15. To bed at 2:10 and up at 8:20 to shower and eat and brush teeth and take laundry out before classes, then class and shopping and laundry and supper after class. 1812 over and study a bit and down to see Bill at 10:30, walk through park till 11:30, neck till 12 and buy groceries and study galore until 2, taking time to shower to lie cleanly in my new bed clothes. Dead fatigued---how can I last the week and have fun at Fire Island?

WEDNESDAY, JULY 16. Class and much straining at bridle and off at night to see Cinerama. Find I got an A- in Russian, Hurrah. "South Seas Adventure" fairly good. Study late, typed many letters this afternoon, and to bed at 3:10, absurd.

THURSDAY, JULY 17. Up Thursday and potter through Russian and over to dentist to get more drilling and filling done and back to pore over lab write-ups before class. Lab lasts until 6:10 and I stagger out and decide to see Eisenstein's "Ivan the Terrible" and "The Stone Flower," both quite good pictures. Bill was to have met me, but didn't because of the crowd, but met me after and up to his place for a session until 11:30, he comes, I don't. Back to apartment and Bill and I go to Rikers for a snack and talk. I don't do Russian for first time in long time and go to bed at 1 am, earliest in long time.

FRIDAY, JULY 18. Up for Russian then back to pack for Fire Island. Down to Pennsy and read Russian for awhile, then hunger gnaws and in for a shake, where I meet Julian. We ride out in near silence and transfer to mail car like cattle for finish of trip. Cab boys holler at us like Italian shoeshiners and we cab off to the boat. Arrive at Fair Harbor at 3. Up to best house on the Fifth Avenue. Out for a swim in the glorious ocean and back for a set-to, ugh, and a luscious pork chop with grape jelly, gravy, applesauce with horseradish, peas with pepper and chocolate cake with chocolate sauce dessert. Drinking all along and watch TV and Jack Paar and Yogi and drink and drink and snap pictures and to bed, as I plead great weariness.

SATURDAY, JULY 19. To bed at 1 and up at 12 feeling great. Fried eggs a la Julian and bacon for breakfast and to the beach for kite flying and sunning and swimming and people talking. Lunch is salami sandwiches and milk and back out for more fun in sun, sex having been over in the early AM. In for a two hour time to cook supper, with toast and caviar and chopped egg white and chopped egg yolk and sour cream and chopped onions for grand first course. Then the dark beach that was glorious and a great huge monstrous set-to about Cherry Grove and I'm so drunk I make a complete fool of myself about sex and religion and such, but at 11:30 we're off. Catching a cab and skewing along amusement park car tracks in sand. To the Sea-Shack and Pete's and the local hotel for a truly wild evening, as Julian meets everyone he knows and I talk with great model. Ride back at 3 am in dream sequence of white sand, stars, breaking combers, papier-mâché houses and darkness on back seat of cab. To bed at 4.

SUNDAY, JULY 20. Up at 12 for hash and poached eggs and bacon breakfast and out to water before that after sex. I lay in sun and day passes, shower and pack and leave at 6. Ride back catches beautiful glimpses of Manhattan skyline in sunset. In Pennsy station I see the gorgeous sweater and make eyes and eventually end up in the Y with Jim Anderson, a browning maniac with great charm and a magnificent, tanned, blond body. Back at 12 to write this and manage to bed Monday morning at 2 am.

MONDAY, JULY 21. Classes again and in evening I call Bill and we go out to see UPA cartoons and short subjects, back for just a bit of pleasure, I leave at 12 and get back to do homework until 2, getting to sleep about 3.

TUESDAY, JULY 22. Stagger to class and get all wet and get tooth numbed and have problems in Thermo to go and get completely disgusted. Cut lab and work problems, then work on problems more and in great disgust call Bill and have my poor mood recorded on tape, unknown to me. We go out in rain for a walk and talk nicely, then back to study more. Completely dead from lack of sleep, I do no homework and collapse into bed at 12:15, for first 8 hours, except weekend, for three weeks.

WEDNESDAY, JULY 23. Up early to study and again get out of lab (after Domar bites my head off) to study for Thermo quiz, but have coffee with Joe and get a 5 on the quiz. Home to fuss about rent and outside bills and Art's coming and dash out without supper to "Tonight We Sing" and dance films. Out of there and over to Chuck's for Scrabble and "Importance of Being Ernest," getting out at 1:30 and to bed at 2:30.

THURSDAY, JULY 24. Wake up at 3 and break my neck getting to class on time under Domar's regime. Manage somehow to stagger through day, Russian standing up and talking to students from University of Chihuahua. Lab finally ends and, again without supper, Chuck and I go see "Alexander Nevsky" and "Inspector General," which I don't appreciate much, probably because of lack of food and lack of sleep. I'm starting to tremble and shake, and that's bad. Back to give all my money to Art, another problem, and study Russian until 1:15, when I collapse in an attitude of love toward the bed. Lying down when fatigued is almost as good as a man.

FRIDAY, JULY 25. Up to shower and class and circle-drawing and check comes in, saving my life. Study and back to class and back to study. Over to Bill's about 8 and we get going and listen to records and come and I leave at 11:30, with air-conditioner, and I get it set and get to bed for first time in ages at 12:00. No supper, just lots of snacks in me.

SATURDAY, JULY 26. Up at 11, feeling great and breakfast and study Russian and study, study, study, getting quite a bit done. Bill comes over for awhile, and reads things of mine and reads things of his last night. We joke and laugh and he leaves, letting me get lunch down to homework, but not after we take long walk and have long talk about his unhappiness and my happiness. Again I get to bed at 12:00.

SUNDAY, JULY 27. Again I get to bed at 12:00 and get up at 11:30, this is really the life. Study all day Sunday, when I'm not out for groceries and Bill gets called when music here gets too loud for me to think about Thermo. We start out for a walk and I end up in Thalia seeing "Emperor's Nightingale" and a Charlie Chaplin program. Out and to bed at 12:30.

MONDAY, JULY 28. Up late Monday, meaning I have to rush through a meal and am two minutes late to class. Study and go to lab to get rest of schedule worked out and return home to read catalogues, telling me I must send in deficiency exam request and request for the AM before Friday. Busy days coming up. Study only till 12 and then to bed, to get 8 hours sleep, like I should.

TUESDAY, JULY 29. Ruckus with the hot water and I take a cold shower, which, along with my stroll in the Park in the rain, produces a cold. Bill advises me to take 8 tables of ascorbic acid and I do, hoping to cut the cold. To bed just aching with the thoughts that I have less than three weeks left to school. I am constantly pulling myself out of studies to dream, or phone, or how many hours, minutes and seconds of class I have left and what I will be able to do once I have all the time I want. Call Mom Tuesday and tell her of my plans. Cut lab today to work on Russian, and see Dr. Beers and ask to let myself out of the Thermo quiz. Study rather nicely for the Russian midterm all evening, except when I go to Bill's for a walk and a talk, he envying me my coming freedom, and he moaning about his lost childhood. Getting 7½ hours sleep fairly steadily now, but the Russian quiz is of such difficulty and I realize I made so many mistakes that I'm in a very bad mood.

WEDNESDAY, JULY 30. Sneak out of lab at 3:30 to study in library while Thermo class has its quiz without me. Back to lab and out for the day. Bill comes over and we can't do anything, because I have a cold. We walk and squeeze hands, anyhow, and it's still a fairly pleasant relationship. How happy I am that I found someone so understanding.

THURSDAY, JULY 31. Way early for Russian for a change and even put first sentences of semester on board. Classes pass and get MA application in and test application in and odds and ends. Work until 7:00 in lab taking rather poor pictures with a Lemmer Plate and Bill walks up with a raincoat for me. Back to my place and he doesn't want to go to a show and I refuse his invitation to an evening at his place to go with Chuck to see "Three Forbidden Stories" and "The French They Are a Funny Race," and talk about Europe. Bed without homework done at 2.

FRIDAY, AUGUST 1. Up late for class and have last dentist's appointment and get a call from Julian for another weekend on Fire Island. I accept. Out of Thermo class and dash for the 5:15 from Pennsylvania Station. Meet Jim on the way and talk for a bit until Apollo comes along and we part. Get translating done on trip and meet Julian on pier, looking browner than ever. Up for a quick dip in a warm ocean and watch purpled waves in sunset. In for a caviar and lobster Newburg dinner, ending at 11:30 pm. Julian bends my ear about being a secretary and about how nice I am in general. I wander out on beach, simply staring, from 12 to 3 and we're back in a 4 to plunk quietly into bed.

SATURDAY, AUGUST 2. 11:30 rouses me and we have a time and I'm out for a swim before breakfast of eggs, sausage and bacon. Sun for three hours and swim for 2, catching pretty pebbles and sand crabs till 6. Back to shower and greet Julian's guests, for a cocktail party of stories, jokes and camping. They leave and I settle to supper of fruit compote, corn on cob, and 4 frigadillers. Out to beach for awhile and back for TV and "Green Dolphin Street," getting to bed at 2, again sans sex.

SUNDAY, AUGUST 3. Wake in morning at 12 and get breakfast before more sun and swim. Back to help him clean house for departure at 6. A tumble passes and we pack, boating and taxiing and training to NYC. Say goodbye to Jim and immediately go to Bill's. Back to apartment and paper and then call Bill again and I go over for a very nice session, but I just can't seem to come, so I don't. I'm back at 12 for a session at Russian and to bed at 1.

MONDAY, AUGUST 4. Up at 8:30 and unpack and fix room and eat hurriedly, but still very late for class. Check comes in and I fly around giving money away and then checking my transfer from Graduate Faculties to Engineering. Without lunch I'm up to lab at 3:30 for a session with the Lummer Plate convincing me I know no Physics. Back VERY hungry and go to Great Shanghai with Bill for Chinese dinner. To show "Night My Number Came Up" but we saw "19 Steps," so to his place at 9:30 for an exceedingly pleasant orgy, lasting, despite Andy's obvious presence, through two of Bill and one of me till 12:30. Back and to bed (What else?)

TUESDAY, AUGUST 5. Up at 8 to do homework and shower and eat, and after Russian do Thermo and throw lunch away and eat hamburg. Lab goes halfway decently, though I don't know beans. See "Animal Farm." Eat supper and wash dishes and get everything fixed up and study lots and Bill comes up. We read and laugh over "Stark" [my writing] and he leaves quietly. I study eye-wearily for Thermo test and get to bed at 1:30, back in the old staying awake habit.

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 6. Up at 7, feeling poorly and study more for test and shower and eat and still 2 minutes late for Russian. Study Thermo and get out of lab for nerve-wracking study and a fairly simple test, if he leaves me through it. Back to supper and listen to music and read New Yorker and write letters and leisurely do homework until midnight. It seems the worst of the studying is over. Only final exams to worry about. To bed at 12:30.

THURSDAY, AUGUST 7. Up and almost leisurely make way through breakfast and still rush to Russian, getting there on time, though. Study and take on last labs, talking with Gates question a bit, but angering him when I don't help him with problem. Tough. I leave lab and eat quickly after talking with Bill and Chuck comes up and we go to see "Festival in Moscow" and Chekhov's "Marriage" and "Jubilee" both good films. Home to read papers and call Bill and off we go for walk in the park, we discussing possibilities of living together. I just don't know, to bed at 12:30, not having done homework, which I get up at 7:45 to do.

FRIDAY, AUGUST 8. Wander off to class to complete revolution in Russian and Domar almost crying when latecomers all sit in front of room. I back to loaf about until lunch and Thermo, then run down to "Bread, Love, and Dreams" and "The Little World of Don Camillo" and then meet Bill and Arno and get invited to Arno's for supper and tussle with Kelly. We three go walking and we two branch off and we talk about living together. Still confusing, and I get back at 12 and go through Snoopy and get to bed at 1.

SATURDAY, AUGUST 9. Wake up at 8 and at 10 and at 11:30 finally crawl out of bed. Listen to music and polish off New Yorker and do odds and ends until I eat dinner and Bill calls. I'm off to "Bicycle Thief" and "The Quiet One" and back to rent a bicycle to ride through Park and Times Square and all down Broadway to the financial district and South Ferry and Battery Park. Sit for awhile and back up to Village, to sit in Washington Square. Back up Third Avenue past all sorts of quaint loveable sights and finally chug up 108th Street hill at 12. Leave bikes at Bill's and stagger home to count up "My Fair Lady's" success, write all this, and get to bed at 1:30, ready for another day tomorrow.

SUNDAY, AUGUST 10. Up at 12 and ignore Chuck and church, call Bill and bicycle through Harlem and all way up to Bronx Zoo, which we train across to get to Botanical Gardens. Wander on paths in wood and Rock Garden and back to bike through Harlem, awfully tired and at 6 pm up to his room for soup and a very lovely session. To "Madame Butterfly" and "Grand Concert," get followed through the Park and meet Tim at Lenny's and we talk about Whoop-Up and I get to bed about 2 am, having done no homework at all.

MONDAY, AUGUST 11. Up at 8 to do it and sit on pins and needles due to the ending of school only a week away. Study fitfully, getting Russian vocabulary down fairly early and slave through my next to last lab, seeing Haydon about transfer. Home for groceries and supper and call Chuck to meet for "The Trouble with Harry" and "An Inspector Calls." We walk leisurely back talking movies and I meet Bill at 11:30 and we talk in park about possibility of living together. Sounds like fun, but I give "why nots." Back to bed at 1:30, feeling great for having no homework due in Russian next day.

TUESDAY, AUGUST 12. Late for Russian for the umpteenth time and stagger through the day somehow, counting days, classes and hours left of summer session. Last few days really rough. Off in evening to see "Life of Emile Zola" and "The Petrified Forest" and again talk for short while with Bill, having glorious time for awhile, too. How nice 'twould be to live together. Back supperless and starved to yogurt and stomach groans and bed at 1:30.

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 13. Up at 8:30 and leisurely go through breakfast with no lunch-making. Russian over, I'm back to mope around apartment, listen to music and daydream, debating about eating lunch and attending Thermodynamics. Neither, I smash down some bits of food and go to Radio City for "Indiscreet," a poor show and a show with fashions, snake dancers, acrobatic orchestra and a black-lit flower ballet with grand climax. Back on subway and get off at 96th and in to Thalia for one of the cockiest ballet series I've seen in ages, and films with dozens of gorgeous hunks. Over to Bill's afterward and little bit of fun, both coming in good time. Back to wrestle with Russian vocabulary again. Haven't touched Thermo for the final exam yet, but, being easy, it should be easy. Up early for Russian again and classes drag exceedingly slow. Two days left, only. New Yorker's giving "True Glory" and "The Raider" dark-print billing persuades Bill and me to see the shows. Walk back and I start in on 1 at 100 pages of Thermo, but really worried about it. Bad play for second time and feel ready for test tomorrow. Last day of school for me!!!!!

FRIDAY, AUGUST 15. Up at 7 to celebrate it and study Russian. Down to take final difficult but well-worked test, groan miserably through the time until the Thermo test, when I am flunked miserably by absurdly difficult problems. Stagger home in a blue funk and sit around apartment doing odds and ends. Bill conducts me to a rather dry Libertarian League meeting, which we walk out of. Wander over to Bob Brown's, he's not home, but meet Laird and Graham afterward. Sit with Bill in rain in park and see him off and back to Laird until 1, when I go down to Lenny's to meet Al Bollinger quickly. To Rikers for burgers and via black Cadillac to his place in Bronx for a rather pleasant-unpleasant session.

SATURDAY, AUGUST 16. Up for another and breakfast and I come here and change for "Tale of Two Cities." Back at 4:30 to see Bill and tell all and change again and meet Al to have dinner at Aldo's, which he pays for. Walk to Lenny's, where I MEET Roger Badeau, a Bermudan. We leave for Annex for a bit and then to the Lodge for a longer look at the leather jackets. About midnight we drive to Mais Oui, for a completely shocking revelation of a completely wild bar. Stay until about 2 and back for another session and someone at noon in next day.

SUNDAY, AUGUST 17. Lie around and talk until 2, when we eat in horrid restaurant and he brings me home. I lie down for two hours in the wreckage of my room and up to call Bill and fix assorted things up and get all set after raucous weekend, calling dozens of people on phone. First homemade meal in three days and out to see Bill at 10. Walk and talk in park till 12, and I come back to read "Five Tales from Tomorrow" and fall weary into bed at 2 am.

MONDAY, AUGUST 18. Get up religiously at 10 am to continue listening to complete selections of Mozart. Patter about apartment, enjoying freedom, reading Gore Vidal's "A Thirsty Evil" and then Bill calls and I go over at 2:30 for an hour or so of fun and then down to see "Lost Holiday" and "Hoboes in Paradise." Eat very poorly, breakfast at noon, lunch at 6 pm, and dinner at midnight, but I sort of have a ball. Listening to music and reading Clarke's "Childhood's End" finishing out the day at 1:30 am. Set alarm 8 hours later.

TUESDAY, AUGUST 19. Start with letters when IBM calls me down for a meeting with Mr. Hemmerle. I rush down like crazy and decide to start work September 2, which messes up my lab reports, my trip home and study for the Math make-up, but it gets the money in sooner, so it's great. Back up to absorb news of that and more music. Met Bill for 6 short films at Thalia, and afterwards a little session and back to loaf about and do a lot of nothing, including calling Mom and telling her news. To bed at 12:30.

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 20. Get up to see Bill off for a final time and help Chuck down with his monstrous trunk. Ponder death of Al's father Sunday, about which he called me, long distance, Tuesday night. Down to Radio City to "Reluctant Debutante," and a fantastic stage show with Dancing Waters and fireworks. Back to putter around some more and call Bill and go over early for a session, then down to the Symphony to see "Arsenic and Old Lace," and "The Inspector General," with Danny Kaye. He leaves early and I get out to parade through Riverside Park and sit on benches from 12:20 to 2, with no success at all. Back to "Eyeless in Gaza" and mope around until I throw stuff off bare bed and go to sleep at 2:30, FULLY CLOTHED.

THURSDAY, AUGUST 21. Up feeling out of sorts. Loaf about reading New Yorker and listening to music and take books back to library and check things at Columbia. Back to eat and Bill comes over for a sweaty hour or less and I lay down to break out in a sweat. Take 2 grams of vitamin C, and hope not to be sick on trip home. Bill comes over again at 11:30 and stays until about 1, saying goodbye very nicely.

FRIDAY, AUGUST 22. To bed quickly and up at 9 to shower and eat and pack and listen to music, leaving apartment in somewhat of a mess, and meet Chuck at 11:30 and stand in line for ages and manage to get on 12:15 bus. Meet Dawn Williamson and read most of "Lady Chatterley's Lover" in unexpurgated version on uncomfortably un-air-conditioned bus. Last part we simply talk and have 10 cents between us for supper. Candy bars taste good then. Get into town at 2:30 and Mike drives us all home and I have well needed snack and fall into bed at 3 am.

SATURDAY, AUGUST 23. Up at 11 to make a few well placed phone calls and Dave comes over to take me downtown in Bermudas to buy pair of white shoes to replace my antiques. Back to more phone calls and arrangements to see "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof" in Canal Fulton. Larry gets stuck and we stand in waiting line for tickets, but finally get in to see gay play and look at nice people and back for a Bun Boy at Arlington Street, where my ears begin to hurt when I eat, most unpleasant. Talk and talk and get back at 2:30, where I collapse into bed. Tour New Akron U Student Union, too, before going downtown.

SUNDAY, AUGUST 24. Up at 11:30 for the first church in ages, in rain and in an auditorium, no less. Back to dinner and the papers and some more phone calls. Over to Larry's, Mom drives, about 4 and listen to his records and win a game of Scrabble and talk and talk in general before dashing out to eat and see "One Summer of Happiness" with nude bathing scene, with Enza and Cesira. Afterwards back to the Volpes to talk with Mamma and sister-in-law and brother into the night. Larry nudges me and we leave at 12:30, having both eaten our fill of sandwiches, coffee and pie. Home late and to bed to sleep late, also.

MONDAY, AUGUST 25. Up to read a couple dozen Life Magazines and a couple hundred comic books, just to keep up with the world. Bernie calls and we 4 go to Manner's after lunch for another lunch. Quickly decide to go to Musicarnival and I meet everyone downtown for a seeing of "Guys and Dolls" in good seats on opening night. Not too good. Back to stop at Sperry's for a snack and home late again, to talk long to Mom and go to sleep about 2.

TUESDAY, AUGUST 26. Up at 10:30 again and continue reading books. Call Larry and he and Rita and I go to tour Stan Hywet Hall and Grounds, quite a sight, then he drops us at Helen's, where we have supper and talk on and on about school and work and NYC and credits and such. Show pictures and Larry picks me up again for Cesira's where Stef and Dick and the 4 of us talk and laugh and play Scrabble and eat and converse with parents. Cesira continues to mail letters and gets first and last series of kissing from me this vacation. Quick goodbyes and I leave to talk lengthily to Larry about how to shed Cesira kindly. No kind way to do it, Larry and Mom and I decide. So? To bed.

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 27. Up to sketchily select what I want back and start fixing up house. Catch bus to Grandma's for supper with whole family and then I excuse myself upstairs talking to everyone, particularly Cesira, who will not be shucked. Down to sight Sputnik and more calls, eventually persuading Larry to pick me up and see Summit County Fair at Summit Beach, a flop. Back about 12:30 and flop into bed with troubled ears.

THURSDAY, AUGUST 28. Up to fib slightly to Cesira and dress and slouch around house and call Cesira and fib greatly about tonight, I'll see her no more. Chuck and I arrange to go to Frank's, but John calls and picks me and Chuck up and the 3 of us, the three couples, gab and drink and watch TV and recollect old times, looking at movies of Frank's wedding. I try long distance call and we leave about 4, Frank driving us downtown to get snack at Rose Lee's, admired for wearing Bermudas, and look at stores. Meet David and hop on bus for home, getting to bed at 1:30.

FRIDAY, AUGUST 29. Undaunted, I'm up at 10 for my last day at home. Fuss around with Rita and woodburning set and microscope until lunch, then get busy on closets and Venetian blinds and such. I make supper and eat and start to pack and bus downtown to meet the fabulous 4 for a trip to Warren and the Kenley Players and Faye Emerson in "Tonight at 8:30." A very nice theater and we leave to eat at Lujan's and talk more and drive home to fond farewells and I clunk into bed, setting alarm for 7:30.

SATURDAY, AUGUST 30. I beat alarm by half an hour getting up and packing. Everything fits nicely and I leave home at 8:30 and Akron at 9:15. We play chess for awhile and I read "Eyeless in Gaza" by Huxley. Feeling quite horny as I cruise almost everyone on bus. In NYC at 9 and am greeted on subway by two gorgeous fellows. Struggle up to apartment with loaded suitcase and make unsuccessful calls. Unpack all and Bill comes over at 11 and we get down to glorious business, he coming twice and me coming once as bed gets thoroughly wet. He leaves and I collapse at 2:30 am into soggy sheets. Discuss Bruckner on record players, so that's going almost continually, too.

SUNDAY, AUGUST 31. Up, quite rested, at noon and shower and listen to music and plan my work. Al calls and invites me to dinner, so I of course accept. Finally get around to the little matter of lunch at 3 pm and washed dishes and then set to work cleaning entire apartment for Al's arrival. Finish sweating about 3:30 and listen to records more and write letters and sit for Al. He comes in looking great and out we go to meet Bill Carter and steaks at Steak House on 150th Street, Bronx. Down to Lenny's and stand around for a few hours meeting people, including Chuck and Harold and then back to Bronx at 2 for a lively session and sleep.

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 1. Up at 11 and they drove me down to change and shave while they pick up three American Beauty roses to give Dick when we go to Riis Park. Bright day and sunny and sea nice and people nicer, meeting Carlos and five dozen others, and causing rose fever. Back up to Lenny's and then home, only to traipse up to "Paison" and "Open City" after quick supper, only meal of day. Bed at 1:45 and properly oversleep the next morning, the first of work, making it necessary to take a cab to work.

TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 2. First day rather difficult, as I find how much I don't know. Home to a frenzy of cleaning clothes and money borrowing from Bob. $150 check in hand and I'm flat broke. Sans supper I see "Children of Paradise" and "Panic" fairly good double. Back to supper of eggs and folk music as Art records as I shower and fiddle until 2 am, when I flop into bed.

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 3. Up early and out to work, getting further acquainted with my own stupidity. Trying to program and no thoughts coming for the longest time. Feeling very lonely and disturbed. Home quickly to talk for a couple hours with Art and then subway early to City Center and have supper of waffles outside it, watching mad me all the time. See "Interplay," "Gounod Symphony," "Sylvia Pas de Deus," and "Bourree Fantastique," a fairly mediocre program. Back home fairly early for a change and write a few letters and get to bed something like 1 am, earliest in ages.

THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 4. Up six hours later to shower and gulp breakfast and toddle off to work. Finally get my bitty program finished and set off to key-punchers. Review lots of books and subroutines and a bit of programming and just make it to end of day. Out to Custom House to be measured for $32 worth of 4 custom-made shirts. Back to converse with Herb and Art, wrangle a shirt from the cleaners and then off to "A Light in the Forest" and "Perri," a good movie. Back along park and Stan comes in to apartment to look and talk until 1:30. When will I get to bed early enough?

FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 5. Up just in time to get to work without breakfast. Call Julian and get invited over for evening. Get through day and for last two hours sit and listen amazedly to Carol spouting program facts and works. Completely dazed, I buy tickets for Circus and get back in time to leave for the ballet, where, between cruises, I see "Con Amore," "Pas de Dix," "The Cage," and "Western Symphony," a better night. Over to Julian's for all sorts of odd sex and an offer of record player and records if I tape and catalog his collection. Neat? To bed about 3 and sleep all the way through until 1 pm, first good sleep in Julian's or anywhere, in ages.

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 6. Coffee and shower and I leave into humid afternoon to completely cover area between 61st and 51st and 5th and Sutton and find next to nothing in line of apartments. Stumble home at 7 and gulp a sort of supper and out with Herb. Back to dress and get Math out and go down to Lenny's to meet Al before 11, Dick hits me first and then Don makes things rough, and I start talking to Lee. Al comes and gives me a very cold shoulder. The talk with Lee continues until 2 and I accept invite to 2nd Street, where we listen to music and talk and laugh and joke until dawn and, after, getting breakfast in Rikers at 7 am. Subway back here and fall into bed at 8 am, getting call from Ed at 9 and waking again at 12.

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 7. Finally get roused by Art and Herb at 3. Shower and eat and feel fairly normal until David comes in and a monstrous party starts humming. Escape down to the Thalia for 10 UPA cartoons and 9 shorts until 11:30 and throw myself on Julian's mercy and hospitality. Watch Late and Late Late show and finally get into bed at 2, getting up at 8 to dress and fix bed and eat breakfast.

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 8. Get to work without Carol and go on machines 4 times in day on tests and programs and decks. Get quite a bit done and find many, many bugs in 705. Talk for complete hour about EB [Encyclopedia Britannica] and buy it for $375. Day ends and get home to go to library and with Chuck and Lenny tour Riverside Apartments and dinner in New Asia and down to see "Red Inn" with Fernandel and "Monelle." Broke again, I'm back for yogurt and writing this to avoid noise of 7 people in living room. Succumb to bed at 1:45 am.

TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 9. Up at 7:30, down to work and keep studying the program, intermittently bothering Carol with questions and making a pest of myself around office. Get first paycheck and delight in having money for a change. Back up to get all sorts of laundry in and get socks washed and actually get material out to study for 120 make-up exam, which I have just one week to study for. Apartment is jumping and supper is so late that day flies past and music prevents me from studying at all, so I give it up and go to bed fairly early for a change.

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 10. Up and to work at the same thing, getting mightily encouraged from Ted, who says I'm doing well, though he suggests practice problems. No, thank you. I go down Lexington shopping for shoes and eventually get to 42nd Street, where they have great "bargains" and I buy pair of shoes to match umbrella I bought this rainy morning: black. To Madison Square Garden to my first Ice Capades, a truly grand and glorious spectacle, with great skating, too, and beautiful costuming for Sylphides, Opera, pop tunes, etc. Back and to bed, sleeping over din of Art's new Sabicas records. Went to doctor's at 3, too.

THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 11. Up and work without too much event, except that I find myself yawning much too much. Out to finish walk between 64th and 69th Streets, up and down, seeing not too much good except James Foundation and across from Hunter, the fabulous old house. Back to a sketchy supper and then out for the 10:30 Times, and call five people for next day's sighting $105 to $150 rent. Talk with Chuck till 2, comparing notes on apartments and to bed.

FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 12. Hop up at 7 to rush over to see 4R, 35 E. 61st Street, a great place, furnished. Ask Julian up at noon and even he likes it, except stove and refrigerator have to go. Then way out to nonexistent apartment and sit in park going over 120 notes till I see Miss Wainrad's penthouse for about half hour, but I can't jew her down from $150. It wasn't that nice. Gave broker Dick's $150 check for first in line for apartment, hoping nothing goes wrong. To Thalia for "Fan-fan the Tulip" and "Beauties of the Night" after talking with Arno. Get to bed at 2:30 and up at 10:30.

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 13. Naturally actually study a bit and breakfast at 2 pm and study more and to show for the really great "Les Enfants Terribles" and over-publicized "The Damned." Back at 6 and study and things get noisy so I go out in park for awhile, then back for more studying and get to bed about 7. Sleep only till 10 and get more studying done, hating every moment, but finding it returns fairly easily.

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 14. It's a very, very slow day as the hours get longer my eyes get sorer, and about 6 I'm out to living room to talk to Art about things, then my being effeminate, then my being gay, and then we go off on a mad spree as I tell him WHY I'm gay and we go down looking for a movie and past park and all the cruising as we tell each other sick jokes and I let him in on the trade secrets. We eat at College Inn and watch fight on 113th and I proposition him vaguely and he refuses even more vaguely, so there. I get another hour in and flop into bed, counting hours to that dreaded test.

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 15. Make reservation for the Y on 63rd St., so I'm definitely moving out on the 17th, when my test is, and when my call about the apartment is. Back from work at 5:45 and study till 8, eat, study till 10, wash dishes, study till 12, wash, study till 1, get dressed for bed and plop into it, having succeeded in finishing the notes for the test. Just one more day of torture left.

TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 16. The day at work drags through and I spend much time talking with co-workers. Pay Dick back his $150 with my paycheck and I'm broke again. Home and study 25 pages of notes at a gulp, ending at 2 am.

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 17. Up at 7:30 am to scan 41 pages of notes, telling Art to NOT play records. Apartment still buzzes. Eat hearty breakfast and over to test at 9. Four questions, all the hard easy types and I haven't the vaguest idea how I did. Flop on bus and get down to work in time for lunch and back in time to call Spar and inquire about lease. Day is botched up by test and phoning and talking and I end up punching out early, borrowing a check for $210 from Julian and putting my name on a lease for one month---the apartment is mine, all I have to do is move in, paint it and live in it. Back feeling great to pack, scrubbing kitchen and bathroom very well into the bargain. The apartment is again jumping---Dave, Stan, Art, Herb, Bill, Chuck, Anna, etc. I pack and listen to last music and Herb drives me to my temporary home, room 1023, 63rd St. YMCA, which I make two trips to. Write a week and a half up in here, shower and get to bed at 1:30, pooped.

THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 18. Have trouble getting to sleep and am late for work because I fiddled with breakfast. Study program and walk back to investigate tickets at ballet after seeing and being entered by Jim Anderson. Walking back very uncomfortable and I smelled considerably from cream and enema action. Change quickly and pay $1 to see Danish Gymnastic team, a great flying dancing troupe and back up to write letters and do myself and use room until 1:30 again.

FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 19. Up feeling stiff and tired from different bed. To work on difficult Count section of program and talk on telephone for hours it seems. Miserable lunch waiting for stamps and back to jerk off again and put bathrobe on at 6:30 and send off 13 names to EB and proceed to write every one of the 13 and then some. Things get very tedious but in five hours I manage to bat out 5000 words. Very tired and hungry and at 12 midnight I wash a bit and traipse down to the Wishbone, choosing a seat at 1 and accumulating a court of 2 and conversing at 3 and leaving alone at 4, getting to bed at 4:30, alone.

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 20. Lie through a couple of maids until 12:30, when I rouse myself to lunch (breakfast) in cafeteria and then sit in lobby reading "Eyeless in Gaza" while world and Ralph and organist and singer and little dog and raincoated door-stander and Levi-shower-of-everything and old crones and young damsels strut around changing clothes like mad. Leave and subway down to meet Bill and Don and help him uptown to smell a bit and meet hostess at Great Shanghai and have meal and to Bill's for a session par excellence, getting back and voluptuous and sheety and kissy and yummy and both of us coming gloriously twice and having large charge overall. Back at 1:30 and fall into bed.

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 21. Up at 10 to rainy day and loaf about until I get completely soaked searching for Times. Read it and work puzzle until 5, having eaten little, then subway down to 42nd Street, where I wander and find "Kismet" and "My Cousin Rachel," both quite good. Cruise a bit but he wouldn't follow. Back up typewriting and read paper and set my affairs in order, getting to bed at 1:30 after showering and getting all dirty clothes in assorted piles, so that when I get up at 9:15, I cart everything off everywhere.

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 22. Jack assigns me a nice programming bit to do and I drop CMT and jump into it, getting quite a bit done by five. Out to price My Fair Lady and then to RCA for "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof" and one of the worst stage shows of all time. To Hectors for a second time for large supper and then up to drop off bits and go to Wishbone, reading Cesira's letter, at 11 and meeting Dick Vannis, who invites me to party on October 19, and others and leave at 12:30 to return and shower and get into bed just at 2 am, moaning my flunking 120 make-up exam. I SHOULD look it over, too.

TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 23. To work and back for a fairly quiet evening until I see fairly cute fellow and walk down to roam, leaving door open behind me, and in comes Troy, cute as you please. We talk for awhile, then he showers while I write letters and then invites me to his room, where we talk about school and roommates and work spaces and efficiency and many delightful things while he lounges about without shirt on and makes himself appealing. I stagger, dazed, off to bed, at 1:30, after late shower.

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 24. Up to eat dinner with Bill at Tom's, and up to apartment and school, but too late. Back to Bill's for a great, grand and glorious session, while I teach him how to jerk me and he succeeds very well the second time around. We're getting very uninhibited with each other and kissing just about everywhere, which excites me no end. I seldom have to worry about staying up anymore, since I can satisfy my visual and tactile urges more and more freely and Bill even likes it. Just great. Out at 12 and down, looking slept in, to room at 1 and to bed to almost cold night at 2:30.

THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 25. Up to talk with Drew and dash up to see him and Chuck and him again, finding that I'm at least 15 hours away from Engineering degree and not so far from a Physics degree I refuse to get. Sad, but I have spare money now that I needn't pay $380 for tuition. Out at 8 and cab down to City Center for "Agon," "Stars and Stripes." "Waltz-Scherzo," and "Illuminations." Back to room and to bed fairly early, only reading New Yorker and letters.

FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 26. Up and work and finish program, just about, if Jack would ever LET me finish. Out from work to see "Damn Yankees" at the Roxy, spending three hours on show and two on Roxy, seeing much of both, both pleasant. Get a tuna fish sandwich and malted and back to see Troy, who's gone to show---when will we ever really meet---we seem to be avoiding each other. I go to Wishbone and talk with Bob and John and Rudy and cruise black trousers and get cruised by bearded one and see all sorts of gay people, rather enjoyable. Back at the ungodly hour of 4:30 and collapse into bed.

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 27. To be roused at 8:30 by CALL FROM Bill, whom I arrange to see at 6:30, and get up at 9. By Troy's and say I'll see him after lunch, but I get cruised by and pick up Ned Aronby, who takes until 4 pm, which permits me to see choking woman on CPW and drunk and get laundry and back up to apologize to Troy for getting de"layed." He shaves and combs hair for hour and I try to be as attractive as I can, but end up being stupid. Say I see him at noon here, but when I meet Bill and have supper and get down to business, at 7, I decide no show and no Troy, but old Bill. We toss about and finally go to sleep about 12 or 12:30.

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 30. Get up at 9 for sexy session. Fumble as I tell him all and wonder if he minds, which he says he doesn't, and breakfast. I'm off to "Vertigo" and "Strangers on a Train," a good Hitchcock double. Back up to Troy and picture taking session in their room and down to corner for supper and to Wesley in 601 for Co-Star with Tallu, then back to room, to give address to Troy and hope he comes up. He is SO nice. I read Sunday Times and others for over an hour and catch up on this and get to bed at 1:30, preparing to move from the Y to 61st St. tomorrow. Tomorrow I sleep in my OWN bed!! Great!

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 29. Up and flee work early to start packing and get Bill up and load myself into a cab and get to apartment, only to discover that I hadn't checked out of the Y. Take cab back with empty suitcases, check out and bus up to 112th Street, where it takes a couple hours to get all my belongings together and three trips for three people down the steps to get everything into a #3 cab. Three wearisome trips up the stairs and I collapse for a moment then start unpacking until 2:30, when I fall into a cold bed.

TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 30. Get up at 7:30 to get everything set and shower and get to bed without breakfast. Trip uptown to 87th Street to plunk down $20 to Con Edison and pick up breakfast on the way back. Continue a telephone filled day and get back to keep unpacking. Clean out closet and get out for groceries and supper and delight in my new neighborhood. Back to continue work on closet and decide to get everything away. Call Julian twice to debate sleeping there, but I say no at end---I'm having just too much fun getting set. To bed at 2.

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 1. Up at 8:15, breakfasting and all and getting to work on time, which makes my apartment just great. Down to 14th St. to meet Bill and Chuck and buy $20 worth of junk, stuff belonging to apartment. Have a ball coming back on a bus and Chuck comes up to see apartment and recommend decorations. Kovan talks for an hour and when Chuck leaves I continue with cleaning and get set for the painter tomorrow, which Kovan told me about. Get to bed at 2.

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 2. Up at 7:30 and get interrupted by an idiot painter who nevertheless does a good job of plastering and putty-ceilinging. Out again to eat supper in neighborhood at Joe's and back to sweep and scrub things, and finally accept one of Julian's invitations to spend a night. Watch TV and have a quickie, getting to bed at 2 and up at 3:30 to supervise putting in of phones.

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 3. Work is still very interesting, since I'm debugging my SORTEX and SORTI subroutines and the mistakes are fun correcting. To occupy my spare time I get an input-output-error program from Ted. Friday's test runs haywire so I bring things home for weekend, though I probably don't do anything with it. Pick up shirts and use my new telephone for two hours calling people and then bus up to Thalia to see "Torment" and "Storm Within" and see Bob Brown and get back to fiddle around until 2. Thursday, I forgot, I met Harvey and Bill for show at Columbia, "Ten Days that Shook the World," and talked with Harvey and went to Bill's and talked a long time with Bill about my happiness. To bed at 2:30 that night. Not really too much sleep until Saturday when it's 2-11 for first time over 6 hours this week.

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 4. Up to fix things up completely and at 12:30 get out to a breakfast of hot dogs and a milk shake in subway and meet Bill to go to Wall Street area to select stuff for apartment, ending up with $15 worth of lamps and assorted odds and ends and no dishes, the most important item. Come back to apartment alone to fix place up and welcome Harvey and friend and we look through decoration book and then out to Sing Long Low for Chop Suey and they leave. I call Bill and write letter and get to subway at 11:30 and get to Coney Island at midnight. Wander on beach and boardwalk and stay near food place for sights. Have gay old time and then subway back, where I suggest Bill act as blanket and we get all hotted up and come twice, fall off to sleep.

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 5. Come again in AM, when he leaves at noon and I get out to breakfast and over to Julian's for a loan, where he accuses me of having had it, which I had, but said no. Back up to write many letters and get out again for supper at Barlow's where I see lovely mural and go to "The Detective" and "Beat the Devil" and talk and back to fall into bed at 1 am.

MONDAY, OCTOBER 6. Up for another week of work, having done nothing all weekend. Test and dash down to Museum for tickets and talk on phone for couple hours and engage in such activities as wandering around the neighborhood for three hours, plotting interesting places on a map and eating in the Automat, getting back to apartment to scrub kitchen and walls very well, mooning around in apartment and doing myself for first in long time and getting to bed at 1:30.

TUESDAY, OCTOBER 7. Guess I'll never get more than 7 hours sleep on a weekday night. Run a couple tests at lunch and do things for Zen---'tis fun to have three programs going at once---and get back to embark on a frenzy of sweeping, getting about a square foot of dust stored away before Bill and Harvey come over and we meet Barlow and Philby for the preview at the Museum of Modern Art and a VERY good-looking crew of previewers. Back at 10:30 and I continue out to eat on Third Avenue and go down to the Annex until 12:15, looking at nothing and stop at Sans Souci for a disappointed hour, and home at 2:30 feeling quite tired.

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 8. Up for a needed shower and to work to make what I hope are final corrections. Out to buy paint thinner and pick up laundry and get loaded down to come here and open paint and put down paintbrush at 8:30, having spotted all the black haphazardly. Talk to Bill and then out to Sing Long Low for Egg Foo Yung and down to Lodge to talk, after a fashion, to the Columbian and to Bob, then leave very dejectedly, coming back to work myself into a rather scarifying frenzy and plop into bed at 2:30.

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 9. Struggle awake and mumble through ritual of shaving, washing and brushing teeth and get to work at 9. Horrid halt in test and the other jobs fly up and data plotting takes over and I'm frantic all day long. Back to buy groceries and fumble with oven for a while, reading New Yorker and eating first home meal. Get to myself and manila folders, leaving apartment in a mess, then catch up with a week of this, eyes burning and WQXR playing interminably. What a state of affairs. Tear clothes off and scatter them around and fall into bed at 1 am, early for a change---will get all of seven hours sleep. Great.

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 10. Last day of work for awhile goes well and back to call Bill and arrange to meet him at 9, when I get impressed in painting and cleaning and he calls and I postpone until I probably see "Eternal Return" and "Dr. Knock" at 10 and walk cross windblown park to get to 72nd Street area and people-blown section of park. Have very quiet run in with four or five people and then Bill and I back to his place at 12 for a bit of fun and I stay until 3 and bring home ghost story collection which I read until 4:30 and then fall into bed.

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 11. Up at 11:30 and fix various things up and fall into reading stories again and have breakfast at 4 and lunch at 9 just before wandering through Village with Bill, talking of this and that and going through a few places and I invite him back up at 11, when he's appalled at the state of my room. We talk for a bit about my stupidity and we both put on pajamas and lay together and get hotted up and we do and do and do and fun and fun until we both fall asleep and up and do again and he goes down on me as I went down on him first time Friday night.

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 12. I gasp with joy and he says "It makes me nervous" and stops. He leaves and I breakfast at 4 again, New Yorker and ghost stories taking time and I go up to Beekman to see "Blue Murder at St. Trinians" and "The Specter of the Rose," with the very agreeable Michael Chekhov. Back to groan about mess the apartment is in and jingle my 21 cents and ponder how I'll ever make it through to Tuesday with no money and no milk.

MONDAY, OCTOBER 13. Up for milkless breakfast and finish eggs and bread and at lunch finish most else. Supper postponed until 9, when I eat tuna fish and water and all the bread and all the butter. WQXR on continuously and I continually hope to fix apartment up and paint everything, but fall back on ghost stories, which I sit up with all the time, fighting sleepiness to get to bed at 2 having finished book.

TUESDAY, OCTOBER 14. Get to work without breakfast because there is no food. Much awaited checks come at noon, run and cash it and out to eat at Nedicks after picking up shirts. Home to get all laundry and cleaning back and buy $10 worth of groceries to lug home in a sweat. Leave all sorts of food and traipse downtown to the Waverly to eat a cheeseburger and milkshake (no wonder I tremble and feel hungry 90% of the time) and then see "The Old Maid" and "Stage Door," two grand old ones. Back to get to bed at 2:30 after finishing New Yorker.

WEDNESDAY OCTOBER 15. Up at 7 to fix apartment up and wash dishes for first time in a week. Having a mess and miss breakfast and directly to work, just making it and living on the coffee and cake break. Back at noon to plaster hair down and eat and back to work at a subroutine that seems SO full of bugs as to be impossible to test correctly. Tomorrow will tell. Home and read New Yorker and paint and eat tuna supper again and talk on phone and type 2 long, long letters to Mom and Larry and get odds done and get to bed at 1 am, still hungry.

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 16. From here to October 25 written on October 25. Things are happening so fast and the apartment is always in such a mess that I never seem able to get anything done. This is probably getting to be in the form of most of my letters, but this probably doesn't matter, since this is for ME only, and then I'll probably NEVER do ANYTHING with the carbons of all my letters that I've meticulously saved. Most days are pretty nearly the same. See Potemkin.

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 17. Work then lunch and work and back to fiddle around till supper and then off to movies (never plays) or read my Encyclopedia Britannica or "see" someone. Thursday I went to see "Potemkin" after trying to get Julian and Harvey to go with me and Bill is very late, too. The movie (saw "Streetcar Named Desire" today) was without sound, but it is still very, very effective. Afterwards up to Bill's for a very short session in which I don't even get shirt off and up---though Bill is set to go.

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 18. Lug picture book and on the way talk with black-suited, curly-haired, available looking Italian type, but can't persuade him to get off at 59th. Up and to bed, alone. Friday is hectic as I paint and get things set up, then start calling people for shows, but find no one to go with. Get to bed early first time in ages and up at 8:30 to wash dishes and sweep up a bit and walk down to see "Streetcar Named Desire," then try Foods Plus and go meet Harvey wearing my new Levis for the first time, and spend $25 shopping for a lot of junk down in Financial District and up on to 14th Street. Back up laden down, and I just toss bags down and Harvey talks and tries to make out with me for three or four hours, until I plead hunger, get up and comb my hair and off we go to eat at PamPam, and walk down to 42nd Street and along Gay way and up Broadway, where I suggest we enter Wishbone, which we do and I fall in with Stan and arrange everyone and end up with 4 or 5 very pleasant hours with Stan, who perversely refuses to give number. To bed at 6 or so, with dawn probably breaking, apartment in complete shambles.

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 19. Sunday Bill calls at noon and we walk out to Ward's Island, to see mental hospital and look at skyline, then subway over to Pelham Bay Park, a pleasant place including colored lawns, interesting people, relaxing walks, a view of the bay, wooded plains, rock climbing and then go back home, where I dig into large steak and the rest of the evening is lost in shadows---with me either reading, or going out cruising, or listening to music, or writing letters, or jerking off, or cleaning apartment, or getting to bed early.

MONDAY, OCTOBER 20. Monday produces catastrophe at work as I find my program completely missed the boat on SORT. I get very glum and worried, despite everyone under the sun telling me not to worry and I take work home and hope to do something, but Bill calls and sets me off, and I journey down to see "Pather Panchali," and on way back see dead man being artificially respirated and bloodied and carried away. Some night.

TUESDAY, OCTOBER 21. Tuesday I fumble even more at work and Bill comes over in early evening to messy house and we look over EB's for a few seconds, then have a VERY voluptuous session, during which Julian calls, and I wind up over at Julian's after Bill leaves at 10:30. Out of fire into luke-warm water. Have drinks and watch TV and manage to stave Julian off, getting invited to dinner on Wednesday, which I go to after strictly supervised day at work under Carol.

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 22. We talk and then have luscious dinner of lamb chops and Napoleons and end up in bed, of course, and I leave with lamp, fucking asses and glass box. Back to get engrossed in unwrapping EB's and get to bed at 3.

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 23. Thursday I get released from SORTI and AGAIN excused and flattered and put on practice problems. Pick up groceries and laundry and everything and spend a quiet evening in reading EB's and gasping at incredible chaos of apartment.

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 24. Friday make great progress in problem and unpack EB's and without supper out with Bill to park and wander pleasantly, call Marc over and Ira comes along, Bill leaves and Ira and I come here for a rather lukewarm deal. He's just too fey. To bed at 5, reading EB, and up at 1 pm Saturday.

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 25. Eat breakfast and fix up room, finally getting EB's away and sweep and wait for Stan, who's to come up after work. Write this and finish at 7 pm. Grab a sandwich and Stan comes over with Frank and we banter going to a show and Bill calls at 12 and Frank leaves and Stan and I go to it nicely, interrupted by Bill at 3 and Stan leaves at 4. I fall into bed and up at 10.

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 26. Bill comes over and we go out in driving rain to see "Three Women" by de Maupassant and "Abseits" at Cinema 16. Back to fix dinner at 1 and have one of the most glorious times ever until 6, when we go uptown, I to see "Juarez" and "The Jazz Singer" at show and back to read NY Times and get to bed at 2.

MONDAY, OCTOBER 27. Up at 7:30 to take bath and get to work on Practice Problem, with an announcement of new positions. Make progress and get home to paint from 5:30 to 7:30, then listen to Scheherazade and talk to Stan for long while, telling him to give Frank my number. I eat then and write letter to Art and feel tired, so I get to bed at 12, to get 8 hours sleep for first time in ages.

TUESDAY, OCTOBER 28. Get up at 8 and to work to puzzle over problem and get everything almost set and keypunched myself in late afternoon. Back to buy groceries and fix supper, getting through at 7:15 and get call from Ira. Sit down to letters to Grandma, Helen, Bob, and Cesira, interrupted by an hour with Beethoven's Third and continuing Cesira's long letter at 11:20. Ira comes up and tells about JD card and Lindy on 74th and Police station. We talk till 12 and I finish letters and get to bed at 1 am.

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 29. Work goes well and at noon I get home to get asked: Do I know many queers" by Mr. Kovan. Ira made quite a stir. I say he isn't. Back to draw flowcharts for tape program and back to talk to Bill and he comes over at 8:30, after I finish many letters. We eat supper and he starts to read my story and we get cozy and chummy on sofa. Then into bedroom, for him to come and talk to him. I ask him to stay and he does, so we make bed and get into it, to talk for just a bit of time then to sleep at 12:30.

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 30. Up at 7:30 and have pleasant set-to, both coming again, and I'm up for bath and breakfast and shoo Bill out door. Machine busy at work, so I concentrate on TAPE. Get paid and cash check and back to work and home to debate about getting groceries, but I just end up eating and moaning, smelling the paint I slapped on yesterday before Bill came. We see "General Line" and it's quite good, then up to his place briefly and walk through Riverside Park till midnight, when I catch subway here, getting to bed about 2.

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 31. Doesn't matter---today's Friday. Got practice assembly finally and find many errors. Run down to 52nd to pay rent and eat cheese in Nedick's for lunch, then back to start soaking and sorting stamps, putting all US in plastic box for many hours, ignoring supper, until I meet Bill (15 minutes late) at 8th and 6th. We wander Village, gasping at all the sights and then we enter Lenny's at 12, when he leaves I take off in earnest, but can't get 2 I want, and refuse about 6-7. Leave at 4, to bed at 5:30.