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1960  2 of 2


TUESDAY, MARCH 1. Up then and get breakfast in decent coffee shop downstairs with odd service ideas. Get 9 am limousine and out to plant to run possibly twice more and find mistakes and eat lunch at 11 in nicer cafeteria and back to work until I make last run and desperate dash to limousine at 5. Eat in Oak Room again, raw beef roast this time and lonely, too, but good with blind man being led out of room. Walk up to Peabody to wander through impressive "Black Magic" exhibit in much more impressive Peabody Library with spiral staircase to red ceiling rooms and gorgeous views, then to goodly staged productions of "Fall of the City" and "The Old Maid and the Thief," with humor in latter, even as the set almost ponderously rolls into the orchestra pit. Walk back to hotel and get to sleep.

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 2. Repeat system of yesterday and get to hotel to change clothes and get cab to the Lyric, which is closed, so I walk to Chesapeake restaurant and have Shish Kebab Polynesian, flaming and wine-soaked and tender with pineapple and mushrooms and tasty toasted buttered bread. Walk to Lyric and get front row center seat, literally, and was first one in Lyric and roam balconies and galleries taking note of shape and size and people, then down to concert of Schubert's Second and Glen Gould, and lovely looking, lonely looking, and LOOKING young men during intermission. Grab cab to "the Block" and walk to Pepper Hill and see no one there, have one drink and leave, walking along snowy streets to hotel---promises to be quite a day tomorrow. To bed at 11, despite the busy-ness of the day.

THURSDAY, MARCH 3. Up at 7:30 for limousine to work, but foot of snow outside stops just about everything. Get told there'd be no car till 12 at least, so I buy "Aku-Aku" and read part of it while sitting in lobby watching plans crumble as snow blocks entire state and halts air and even taxi traffic, Finally at noon an Air Force Major decides to take cab to Martins and I go along and four of us pay money for a slippery snowy ride to Martins, white and Christmassy. Out and plow through drifts half up to my knees to get to Engineering lounge. Get to 709 and find that they're closing down at 2:15. Call Bill Mahar to get clearance papers and a $50 advance to help against getting snowed in. Then decide to leave and pack stuff up and get ride to outskirts of town and catch bus rest of way to hotel. Out and pack and check out and get to railroad station, where I snack and read and stare and get on train about 6. It's crowded, but I sit and read and stare out into snowy crypts. Back in NYC at 9 and spent many minutes on 34th Street trying to get cab. Finally grab one and get to work, but cannot at all get one for home, so catch bus and walk down 70th and take clothes off and go for a walk in the park at 10. The snow is too deep to walk in comfortably, coming up over tops of boots, up to level of benches. Though park is empty, there were people there before me and it's tramped down, though I enjoy making fresh snowfalls. Home cold and wet, but get into bed at 11:30 and fall deep asleep.

FRIDAY, MARCH 4. All this written on the unprecedented date of April 15, 42 days after this. This MUST take elucidating, someday, in prose fiction. Work and go to "From Here to Eternity" and "All the King's Men" with Jim and enjoy both. Afterwards we walk, talking awkwardly, down from 86th to 58th, where we find the Wishbone closed and get referred to the Onyx. Jim nicely leaves and I sit only minutes until Stan embarrasses me by remembering me, my name, and my apartment. We walk to Fifth and catch cab, gabbing of operas. Out and look and clasp hands and we get to bed for snuffly, constrained fun. We talk till 5 and he leaves.

SATURDAY, MARCH 5. I fall asleep and wake at noon, read "Aku-Aku" and get down to mail to find a free ticket to the Carnegie Recital Hall from Laird. It's 2:30, but I jam clothes on and get to hall just a bit late for a rather gay audience and a mediocre performance from Charles Engle. Cab back here and possibly get something to eat, though I can't be sure I did. Probably came back and finished the novel, then late at night, maybe after TV, I went out for the paper, read it, went to bed late.

SUNDAY, MARCH 6. Got up late, worked the puzzle, read, came, worried about not eating properly, not writing the letters I should, and went to bed again, a day conducted entirely in my private world.

MONDAY, MARCH 7. Probably woke up disgusted with myself. The wind was blowing as I walked to work, probably late, and still blowing when I walked down to 57th to see the Japanese "Ikiru," which really packed an old man's life into itself. Out in time to walk down 6th from 57th to 14th, enjoying the shops and the warehouses alternating from cheapness to acceptability to slums to acceptability to cheapness as I progressed down the Avenue. Bought the tickets and went across the street for a greasy spoon supper, which, however, served very well. Back to look through children's books (charming), and adult "beat" poetry (less so) and then purchased a book by C.L. Dodgson, which I read until the crowd grew too beautiful to ignore. Watched and looked at affectionless faces self-contained in their own beauty and cried, also inwardly. Mozelle arrived cold and late and we talked and I enjoyed "Inauguration of the Pleasure Dome," "Fireworks," and two others immensely, for their color and pageantry, though embarrassed in part. Home by subway, finding that the 316 and the Outside Inn both closed. Hamburg in the House of, and home late to bed.

TUESDAY, MARCH 8. Find I can get time at Time Life, but only at 2 am. Phone Jim and he says he'll meet me at 9. Home to eat (I hope) and down to the Port Authority Bus Terminal to talk a bit and wander up to Times Square, looking at people, and eventually up Broadway, where I get times of movies. Stop in at Onyx to a truly awful crowd. Have one drink and I say he should come to show with me. But no. I wander down to show and up marbled loneliness. "Last Voyage" is spectacular in use of Ile de France and I leave in time to get cab to office and pick up equipment and get cab to Time-Life Building. Machine goes down as I step into room, and I read Life and Fortune and pamphlets and anything that comes to hand. Breakfast across street and back to wait until 8.

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 9. Get on and off and grab tapes and back to SBC where high-speed printer is down and low-speed is taken for an hour. I get more and more tired, and finally get stuff done and poke around office until noon, when I leave for home. Apartment is bright and noisy, but I get to sleep with no trouble at all. Up at 7 to eat and catch bus down to Phoenix to meet Tom, to whom Bill has sold his ticket. "Henry IV, Part I" is enjoyable despite my ignorance of who's saying what about whom. We talk along 12th to 7th Avenue when he goes home and I get down to the Cherry Lane, and quite a place it is. They say that Wednesday may be a good night, but there were at least six people there whom I could have accepted in an instant. This was no good for my cruising, since I couldn't concentrate on one long enough to make a favorable (or unfavorable) impression. Everyone finally left and I stumbled out at 2:30, reeking with smoke, and grabbed cab home and really fell into bed.

THURSDAY, MARCH 10. After work I went down for tickets, and got two in the center of the orchestra. I went home, but not to eat, since I was starved at "Flying Dutchman." The seats were no good, since the floor of the Met sags, or has sagged, or was planned lower than the rest. Not bad opera. In desperation I went to Hector's and had an egg salad sandwich, a huge fruit bowl, and a monster piece of strawberry shortcake, while I sat alone in the window and looked at the bums lurching by, staring hungrily in.

FRIDAY, MARCH 11. Don't really know what I did, but the night was free and "Pillow Problems" and a "Tangled Tale" was read, so as well here as anywhere.

SATURDAY, MARCH 12. Up fairly early and started the book "Crime and Punishment" and took off for maybe one meal, and for a TV production of "Volpone," and finished the entire novel by about 2 am. Quite a feat, though I was certainly through with reading when I finished.

SUNDAY, MARCH 13. Up at 12 and look at paper and see both "Aromarama" and "Scent of Mystery," the second being far superior. Home at 9 and eat (maybe) and bed early (I NEEDED it).

MONDAY, MARCH 14. Jim called before and suggested show, so I said OK. Home after work and did nothing in particular, until it was too late to get there. Grabbed cab and got tied up in traffic on 55th, and had to go to ticket office for change. They had none, so I grabbed money from Jim, paid cab, and saw "Fourposter" and "Death of a Salesman." "Fourposter" quite delightful with love and death of Rex Harrison and Lili Palmer, second quite morbid, except for the homosexual overtones. Out and I take off to the Onyx which is very bad, not a soul decent in the place and I leave at 11 and home to bed.

TUESDAY, MARCH 15. Who remembers WHAT I did today?

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 16. Between the Tides, and Reuther on TV, rather stupid shows. Bought two books which I'll read in the next two nights.

THURSDAY, MARCH 17. St. Patrick's Day was raining icy rain, but we stood for a bit on Fifth watching parade between lunch at the cafeteria. Read "Cheaper by the Dozen" and "Methuselah's Children."

FRIDAY, MARCH 18. "Opus 21" has some odd ideas, some strangely akin to mine. Less skillful than Huxley in getting odd situation help up by philosophical discussion.

SATURDAY, MARCH 19. Reread "Brave New York" and "Tomorrow," pity I can't remember everything I read. Out to get paper and suddenly decide to cut out everything I want to see, and get tickets for everything.

SUNDAY, MARCH 20. Out at 2:30 and see "USA" then buy ticket for evening and walk down to Village to get tickets to others, have hot dog and orange at Nedick's, then burger at Pam Pam, and then to Village Bookshop to buy $10 worth of paperbacks, a very odd assortment which will keep me busy for a couple months. See "Krapp's Last Tape" by Beckett, "Zoo Story" by Edward Albee, and "USA" by Dos Passos. Out at end and cab home and fall asleep.

MONDAY, MARCH 21. What I did between 5 and 7:15 is forgotten, but from 7:15 to 11:45 I listened to Wagner's "Parsifal," and sat rather amazed as Leinsdorf, completely in command, conducted the audience out of their seats in silence, in reverence for the music-drama. After I saw Jim off I went back for my glass case, which luckily was still there.

TUESDAY, MARCH 22. Left work early to get to the 5 pm showing of "Seventh Seal" and "Smiles of a Summer Night," and out to grab a bite to eat in time to get to "Orpheus Descending," a play. It's snowing gracefully, and afterwards I stop in at the as-always crowded Lion. Crowd is awful and I go to the Cherry Lane, where after standing only a few minutes, in comes Chuck and we talk about books and movies and plays and philosophy and everything under the sun, until he leaves at 2:30, when there's really no one left, so I leave right after. Cab home again.

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 23. The movie of "Porgy and Bess" is disappointing, the play "The Balcony" is one of the best, most different and startling, ever. By this time I'm getting fairly tired of gadding about. I hadn't cleaned my apartment in a month, letters were piling up that needed answering, I feel I must type, as pretty phrases whirl through my head, but I do nothing, really.

THURSDAY, MARCH 24. Along about this time I decide the U of M program has enough modifications and so I get busy and get the deck ready for a re-compilation. Working still great, as I find mistake after mistake in the program, talk with everyone, have lunch in odd places, go morning after morning without breakfast, interview interesting people, and look at feet of output. Get in at 12 to finish correcting deck. Ready in time to go C-T and grab cab and get to Time-Life Building just in time to go on, back to get everything printed, and to bed.

FRIDAY, MARCH 25. To work about noon, and Jim surprises me by reminding me that I agreed to have supper at his place today. NOW I'm writing on May 15---I must catch up now or I NEVER will. I take subway out and we have steak and we sit and talk and John comes in, his roommate, and we talk about opera and movies and books and spend a rather uncomfortable evening as Jim keeps on making remarks about how much he wants to go to bed with me. I say I'm tired, and get undressed and into bed and he, after assuring me he won't touch me, comes and lays on top of me. I'm on my stomach, with my hands before my face, and he lies, grasping my hands, and I don't move a muscle for two or three awkward minutes. Then he gets up and says "Thank you for being kind," and crawls over to bed. I get to sleep with little trouble, since I'm mentally and physically exhausted.

SATURDAY, MARCH 26. Up at 11 and have breakfast and read two plays by Jim's friends and look over Horizon and talk a bit and read Lil Abner and make myself as inconspicuous as possible. Shower and change into clothes of Jim's in time to greet John and Harvey and Al for supper. We have good beef roast and joke and laugh through meal and get started on Twenty Questions and have a ball, and Al and I get down to Chess and I have a ball, wishing I could have Al. We talk and eventually Harvey and Al leave, about 11, and again I get to bed to find Jim on top of me. I ask him inside and hold him and we talk for almost an hour about me and my affections and my dislike of the physical and leaves me in a mess. At 1 he crawls off and gets to bed.

SUNDAY, MARCH 27. Read the Times and miss Cinema 16 and step out to buy groceries and talk a bit, until finally I hop the subway and leave, having more or less wasted an entire weekend being told I'm cold and calculating and indifferent and scheming and egotistical, et al.

MONDAY, MARCH 28. After work I go up to Bill's to talk for awhile before seeing "Greed" at Barnard, but the next thing I know my attempt to get him to tell me what happened to us succeeds and he says I don't take a bath often enough, thus I have BO and a crotch that smells of urine. My breath smells slightly and I'm unpleasant to be with because I'm getting overweight, and because I don't give enough of myself, because I don't need him anymore and because he doesn't like to sleep with me all night and have sex all morning, because he feels "logy." Also I'm calculating, cold, unemotional and afraid of love and affection, can't take praise at all, and am too hard to make come, aside from the fact that he's anal, and I can't let him do that, he thinks---and also I don't have the right technique with him. "The head's sensitive, because that's the way I've been doing it for 20 years. The long gorgeous shaft feels good, but that's all." So there.

TUESDAY, MARCH 29. Jim comes over from Jersey and we sit for a bit and read and out we go to walk down Third, I suspect, and stop in the Yukon for beer and he goes off and I go to bed.

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 30. Suddenly I can get no more time on the Time-Life 709. I call for 1 pm plane tickets to Baltimore, call for time down there, pack things up at work and grab a cab home, where I pack for a good long stay, then cab to the airport, get my ticket, check baggage, eat a bit, and fly off through brilliant clouds to Baltimore. Limo to town and get to Martin at 5:30, have loads of trouble with the pass and finally Whitey comes out to escort me in. I quick quick get on machine, then get escorted out again at 7:30 and raced to the Lyric Theater to pick up a ticket, in a box, to the Ballet Russe. Grab another cab to hotel to get glasses and streak through lobby to do so. Cab back breaks speed records and lights and I give him a $1 tip, which isn't very bad. Unfortunately, the ballet is pretty awful, except for a few appealing faces in the corps. Out and have supper at the Waldorf Cafeteria, across the street, and back to the hotel to unpack and get to sleep, after coming.

THURSDAY, MARCH 31. Catch the 9 am limousine and get to work, all day, and renew old acquaintances and get odd looks from the fellow across the way. Out at 5 and thanks to the luxury of a white pass I can go anywhere I like without having an escort---great. Back to hotel and supper in the Oak Room, again after coming and I settle down with "Theory and Practice of Hell" and due to listlessness and sore eyes get to bed early, at 11.

FRIDAY, APRIL 1. Out at 5 and to hotel to pack everything together and check out of hotel, making reservations for Monday. Call Dave but get no answer and get bus to DC. Check stuff in locker and grab paper to find a festival of Norway song and dance at the Lisner Auditorium. I walk there and find it a nice auditorium, but sold out. I stand dejectedly in front of the box office, for turn-ins, and a fellow creeps up and says he'd like to get rid of one, but he couldn't possibly accept more than $2 for the $3.75 ticket, which happens to be in the best location in the house. He's lecherous, of course, in a professional way and invites me to the Washington Symphony and Glen Gould at Constitution Hall on Wednesday. I get his address and phone number and say I'll call him, which I never do. Get to Hut and call Dave and he says he'd like to come out, too, so I sit in Hut and get looks and look myself, but nothing happens and we try to see the Derby Room, but it's sick and the fun room is closed, so we catch a cab and leave, after getting an invite to a party. I pick up bags and settle down at Dave's (Somers).

SATURDAY, APRIL 2. Up at 10 and all day I read all Lifes and Look. Get groceries and whip together a lunch, and Dave gets home and we look around for a costume for the beachcomber party. He suggest a surplus store and we cab down and I spend $6 for clam-diggers, a hat and a shirt. Back and he dons overalls and we leave, by cab to Connecticut Ave. and the party is wild and tres sick and the punch is all gone when we get there at 11 and the evening is frustrating and fascinating and I sop up all the images of sick dancing and screaming and carrying on and hope I can remember it later. (I don't.) We get home about 3.

SUNDAY, APRIL 3. Up for lunch at Chin Wongs and we take in Watusi (phony) dancers and then out to meet Joyce Brazil and have a sandwich and get to the Theater Lobby for "The Lesson" and "No Exit." We have laughy time and get to the Hut and talk, then to the Metropole, which, to my surprise, I really enjoy. To bed at last and Joyce says she MUST see me, and Dave and I chatter away about my luck and the day ends.

MONDAY, APRIL 4. I wait for an hour for a bus in a terminal simply crawling with good-looking people. Have breakfast and read a bit, but stare mostly and take off for Baltimore. Cab to hotel and send laundry out, order TV, eat lunch and get late limousine to Martin. One run and back to the hotel, where I read paper and watch "Ben Hur" take practically every Oscar on the Academy Awards.

TUESDAY, APRIL 5. Read "Ape and Essence" back and forth in the limo to work, and this time after work I get to hotel at 4, after many cancellations out of Martin. I just decided to leave, that's all. Dash up to room, toss things into bag and get downstairs to flag cab to the airport. Plane leaves at 4:50 and the cabby says it takes half an hour, and it's 4:25. Cab goes like the wind and actually gets there in 15 minutes. I tip heavily, dash in to buy ticket, and find I can get on waiting list, but the plane hasn't landed yet. Catch quick favorite lunch (ham and egg sandwich and a milkshake), grab luggage as the flight is announced, and get one of the last seats. Back at LaGuardia and catch a cab for home and that's all there is to that.

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 6. Get things settled at work and afterwards go to the movies with Jim, after eating at Great Shanghai, which we nearly miss after walking up Broadway to find it. "Sapphire" and "Light Touch" are both good, and I tell him about the Limbo, so we walk down to 57th and across to find that it's closed, then over to Third to have some beer, and finally I tear away, to see tight pants, a blond head, bright eyes and a dark raincoat. We walk up Third and after I look longly at him he comes down 68th. He passes me in front of the solitary ruin and I catch up with him and try to lure him down 70th. He doesn't lure, so I catch him at 74th and am charmed by his accent, and the fact that he's just been to the Museum of Modern Art for a movie. He invites me in and we rub knees and neck and the clothes come off and we get to bed quite agreeably. I think I sleep at Jean-Jacques' that night.

THURSDAY, APRIL 7. Probably late for work this morning, feeling kindly toward the world because of the affection from Jean-Jacques. He has some sort of play tonight, so I read "Orlando" and go to bed, quite late and very eyesore.

FRIDAY, APRIL 8. Work and spend the evening with Jean-Jacques, he comes here and we talk a bit and neck quite a bit and get to bed early and come late and sleep soundly.

SATURDAY, APRIL 9. We get up about 11 and he makes a phone call and leaves at 1, after he laughs at my breakfast of a cheese omelet with jelly on the bread. He leaves for some sort of supper and I spend day reading and fixing place up and washing dishes and loafing and in evening watch POTW and Jean gets back at 1, and rings and comes up and we get along very nicely.

SUNDAY, APRIL 10. Up late and moan our missing of good sunlight hours and have breakfast and catch bus across to Broadway and to Cathedral of St. John the Divine, then across to Columbia and up to Riverside to see the rather spectacular view of Manhattan and hear the carillon at 3 pm. Down and bus to 57th and have ham sandwich and see "Cranes are Flying" which he's seen before, and then to the Gay Vienna for Lebernoodle soup and boiled pork, plus an actual zither player and, to make things earthy, a good fight that gets some good dark Lowenbrau on JJ's good light pants. Sleep over at his place again, and have the darndest time getting away in the AM.

MONDAY, APRIL 12. Work and "The Constant Husband" and "The Medium" on TV take up most of the day I'm not eating or talking on the phone with Bill about Jean.

TUESDAY, APRIL 12. Have Jean over for supper and we are much too late, so we grab a cab and whisk up elevator to sky-high front seats just in time for the curtains to the puny first act of "Andrea Chenier." It warms up slowly, with two good duets in the third and fourth scenes, but that's about all. The costumes and sets are new and striking, but that's about all it has to say for itself.

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 13. Walk to "Expresso Bongo" immediately after work and see it with Jim, who leaves me after, glowing over me, and I get home to watch Giraudoux's "The Enchanted" on POTW, as well as can be, what with Bill sitting there wanting to borrow money from me (and I'd forgotten if I'd offered him anything---maybe my candy from Mom from my birthday---a truly useless gift). It ends stupidly, as does the evening, since I probably got myself, since Jean is busy tonight and tomorrow.

THURSDAY, APRIL 14. Nothing happened today. Lunches at work get quite exotic occasionally, with Pizza on Third, Rikers on Sixth, dinners with coats and an embarrassed Cathy in the park, sandwiches on bridges, sumptuous meals at the Tavern on the Green or the Des Artistes with Jim and Harvey, or out of the ordinary meals at Candlelight or the Boulevard de Paris. Lunches seem the high point of the day, especially when the group includes many or all of the charmed group: Gio, Bob Maldonado, Cathy, Mozelle, Anita and myself. Read "12 Stories they wouldn't let me do on TV."

FRIDAY, APRIL 15. Read "Pornography and the Law" while I was eating supper, and must have, since later we went to Jean's and we talked and then caught the subway out to Borough Hall and walked along the certainly novel (in location, not clientele) Esplanade across the west side of Brooklyn. Walked to get the car and drove, rather erratically, back to Manhattan and found a place to park. With almost nothing else agreeable to do, we necked and went to bed, possibly listening to some records on his commendable hi-fi.

SATURDAY, APRIL 16. Up to a foggy morning and after breakfast (at noon) we debate what to do and end up at the Bronx Zoo, finding it surprisingly easy, even with my holding the map. Took the train to the main gate, looked at the birds, apes, reptiles, penguins, bears, tigers, and caught a peacock in full display, though through a far fence. Walked way across to where we thought the car was, and, alors, it was at the other end. Walked there until 5:30, and we drove across the Whitestone Bridge and I called the wrong turn-off, but after calling and finding Jim not at home, it turned out to be the right turn, and we ended up across the Queensboro Bridge. Went somewhere and ate supper and ended the evening cuddling and trying to talk with each other. To bed late, probably.

SUNDAY, APRIL 17. Up at 11 and without breakfast we take off for Jones Beach. I point out many wrong turns, and the sun sinks into the fog at about 3, but finally we get there to find the boardwalk almost covered with people. We go into the seafood bar and have brunch, at 4:30, and then go down the sand and look at the fog and the waves and neck and laugh a bit, and back to the car and drive along ocean through the coastal areas. Get to Coney Island finally at 7 and ride the Cyclone and Hurricane and Bobsled and Ferris Wheel and eat hot dogs and cotton candy and corn and look at all the people, and he takes pictures and we leave, quite sated, at 9:30. Home finally by subway after leaving the car in Brooklyn and walking back along the Esplanade.

MONDAY, APRIL 18. Get home after work and undress and call New Yorker for their schedule and grab cab there, only to find out too late that the wrong show's playing. Curse a bit and get up to the Thalia where I see the end of "Blood of a Poet," which sort of wrecks it, and "Young and the Damned." Out and dash up to the Midtown where I catch the last half of "The Mistress," which seems to be quite a good show, though certainly pessimistic in outlook. "Aparajito" impresses me, as no show has ever done, with the thought of the mother (alone and lonely) as the son makes his way toward security and independence and happiness. After show, walk back down to 96th and shiver until the bus comes and home to have toast for supper and maybe a bit of juice. Uncomfortable to bed, but I'm so tired that I fall asleep immediately.

TUESDAY, APRIL 19. Jean had a play yesterday, and has one tomorrow, and told me please not to go to a show today. I get home and eat and read mail and looked at New Yorker, and at 8 something clicked and I dressed and went out to "Rosemary," just making it, and then madly dashed to 72nd Street for "Sink the Bismarck" getting the last half of "Vesuvius Express" with Tchaikovsky's "Capriccio Italien." Both shows pretty good, and I get home at 12:30.

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 20. Leave work early, at 4:15, since "The Unforgiven" is the last one in the New Yorker that I've not yet seen. Such is the tyranny that I establish over myself. Rush down to the Capitol and get there just in time to see the ending, since I have to get out at 7 pm and grab a cab down to Cinema 16 to see a completely dreary foursome: "Light for John," about a fat old newsboy; "It Is Good to Live," about the A-bomb victims at Hiroshima, "The Skilled Worker," about a lathe-expert who is thrown off his job by automation, and "Le Retour" by Cartier-Bresson, who showed the release of prisoners from the German concentration camps. I get home at 10 and maybe eat a bit, and probably come and fuss about, but do nothing really worthwhile.

THURSDAY, APRIL 21. Jean comes over after he goes to the Y, so the evening was spent sweeping and dusting and washing dishes and shoving things into drawers before he came, and hugging and squeezing and snuggling and kissing and coming AFTER he comes.

FRIDAY, APRIL 22. Jean comes over about 6:30 and we catch Third Avenue bus down to the 20's and I meet Andy Sherwood, a camp who's wasting his time being a guard at the Metropolitan, and Jack Cornelius, an old friend of Bill's and we have a grand time comparing notes on the venerable Mr. Hyde. Supper is composed of fish, which almost no one likes, and a huge salad afterwards and watermelon and champagne beforewards and an awful coconut concoction which Jack raves about for dessert. We sit around talking about architecture and how they met and movies and plays and friends of almost anyone, and luckily for us, we plead that we have to leave early, and we do, at 10:30. Bus back up and come here to pack and then take the bag over to Jean's in preparation for our trip in the early AM. To bed at 12:30.

SATURDAY, APRIL 23. It seems almost no time before the alarm rings at 6 and we both start scurrying about, fearful that Jean-Paul will discover that I'd slept there the night before. Out at 7 am and up to the West 70's to pick up Madeleine Le Vailland, and the 70's to get Chiu-Hwa Wong, and after turning wrong on Riverside Drive, we finally get off to Philadelphia. They want to see the Psychiatric Institute and the Chemistry Labs at the U. of Pa., and I tell them about Ben and Laird, and they are properly edified. We breakfast early at Bickford's, and by the time we're listening to the Bar Mitzvah in the Wright Synagogue, we've begun to get hungry. I call Laird and he says come over, which we do, and make all sorts of arrangements and I get the keys and we all go to City Hall to stand for 1/2 hour waiting for the elevator. Out at 2:30 and up to the Museum and have lunch in the restaurant. We separate for 1┬Ż hours and meet back on front stairs, where pickaniny's are swimming in the fountain and pools. Then we hop in the car and get to the Black Angus, where I please with a daiquiri, and we get out to Andover to search for Wright's Sun-Top houses. No one knows, but everyone seems willing to give us bum steers, until finally we go into a bar and find where they are. We drive up and are almost past when I shout "There it is." And it is. It's a multiple dwelling, 1/4 burnt, 1/2 empty, and the remaining 1/4 comes to the door when I ring, invites us in, shows us the windows, lighting, drapes, furniture, terracing, kitchen, patios, and talked about Wright, and we talk and compare notes and sign the guest book and leave, feeling very kindly. Back to Laird's and I plaster them with aspirins and suggest the Black Angus for supper. It's not in the book, but we drive until I find the Flaming Angus, and we eat and meet Laird and everyone exchanges addresses and all rush out to get the 8:45 train back to New York. They dash off and Jean and I remain, rather fatigued. Back to Laird's to find a gathering of Ben's anthropologists, and since he thinks they're too wise if we go to bed, I'd better stay up, which I do, and catch the three make complete asses of themselves. They leave and a gay duo enters, and finally I stagger out and lie with Jean. Laird comes in and finally the beds are ready and we crawl in about 2 am, not even touching each other, so great is our exhaustion.

SUNDAY, APRIL 24. Up at 11 for breakfast and we take Laird to labs for an exhaustive tour, and we get back to the Museum, where we have a good time, I do anyway, discussing the painters I like, and it's 5 and we're back to Laird's for supper and drive to Elfreth's Alley and finally back to New York, which we get into at 8. I'm frankly starved, so we end up at the Gay Vienna (see April 10, I goofed), and I stay at Jean's for the night, and back home late, and get to work about 10:30.

MONDAY, APRIL 25. I tell Mozelle she doesn't want to see "Strike" again, so Jean and I end up at "Strike," and he's quite impressed. We talk and go to bed together. Quite nice.

TUESDAY, APRIL 26. After work I invade D'Agostino's and get all sort of goodies for Jean's first supper here. I slave to get things ready and Vichyssoise of Julian's is quite odd, the steak turns out rather tough, but all in all it's not bad. It seems we did something that night (and were late for it), but I can't remember, since it's not written in my handy little book, and since I'm writing this on May 17th, I can't recall, so we probably just had sex.

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 27. Home quickly from work, and immediately read through "Henry IV, Part I," so that I can recall who did what and when, in the first part, and I dash through second part while I have canned fruit, three or four brownies, stalks of celery, and almost anything I can lay my hands on (except, of course, ordinary food) in order to quell the pangs of hunger while I'm reading the microscopic print of my half-volume complete Shakespeare. Read on bus, though jiggle is about enough to make it impossible, and finish just as Bill comes up at the Phoenix. At intermission we talk about Jean and we both admit we feel sorry for him. He takes off after the first act, and I stay till 11:30, catch First Avenue bus home and get to guess where?

THURSDAY, APRIL 28. Get to Jean's right after work and have dinner and walk down to the Museum of Modern Art for a show on Monet. The early paintings are uninteresting, but when they start hanging three or four of his views of the same thing together, especially the exhaustive views of haystacks, or Parliament, or Rheims Cathedral, the show approaches a complete art experience. We have fun discussing colors and feels and tones, and it turns out that his favorite sky is just about the one that I can least stomach. We walk back at 10:30 and I have quite a ball walking up Third Avenue while almost everyone looks at us, and I look back at everyone else. Since I've known Jean, it seems that people look more attractive to me, and sometimes simply ACHE to go to bed with some of them. Such is the nature of my perversity.

FRIDAY, APRIL 29. Jean says he'll be over at 7, but I'm not ready and he's not here until 7:40, when I mock-observe it's Friday, so open tuna fish and cut lettuce and boil beans and cook soup and that's dinner. Don't even have time for dessert as we grab a cab for the Met. Sit and squirm as the traffic along 40th is light, but the lights cause irksome delays. Get there just in time, and see "Chopin Concerto" which Jean dislikes because of the "unchoreographability" of the music, and I sort of agree. "Billy the Kid" is a bit better, but John Kriza doesn't seem to have much appeal, so it falls rather flat except for the marvelous music and the prelude and postscript of the westward trek. Next is the "Black Swan Pas de Deux" and I'm unimpressed: though Lupe Serrano is certainly good, Scott Douglas just doesn't have it. "Graduation Ball" follows, and Martin Scheepers makes a wonderful impression on me, and the ballet as a whole is a lot of fun. Bus back and bed, both here.

SATURDAY, APRIL 30. We wake about 10 and finally get out of bed at 12. When he leaves, after breakfast, I probably fool around with my movie list or some such nonsense, such as studying the schedule of the American Ballet in excruciating detail, or reading the write-ups on the stars as listed in one of the books. Altogether probably an unsatisfying afternoon, as most of them have been. We subway to Jim's at 7, and Ty entertains after supper, and I certainly like him well enough. Two others come over and we all talk and laugh, but poor JJ is very left out. Jim worries about Ty making Jean for the effort, and tells me as much. I joke and Jean knows the score, and after I playfully hold beer over Ty, Jim throws a bit at Ty and Ty retaliates with an entire glass which gets wall, table, rug, and all. They leave to discuss it and Jean and I decide to leave (though I really didn't), and we do, at 12:30, and have a long ride back while I stand in the window and watch the dismal stations pass.

SUNDAY, MAY 1. We wake up and I startle myself by not telling Jean that I missed Cinema 16. Very unlike me. We neck till 12 and he goes home to fix things up and we say we'll have a quiet afternoon reading and writing letters. I call Bill and suggest coffee at the Met, and finally Bill agrees. I feel sorry to tell Jean about it, but do, and we reluctantly go out for my farcical date. And farcical it is, as Jean is too quiet and shy and Bill is stupid as ever. We leave at 5 and back to Jean's for records and we lie around for awhile and probably whoop it up for a bit, and I tear away for the night, seeing "Passion of Joan of Arc."

MONDAY, MAY 2. Convince Bill to see Dreyer's "Passion of Joan of Arc," but place is closed to non-subscribers, and film is no good anyway, though hall is only half-filled. Bill's waiting below later, so I leave Mozelle and walk a bit with Bill and I suggest walk in park. We talk and walk and find a vacuum cleaner and a cute trick cruises at the same time, so I take off and let Bill talk. I walked along belowstairs and later found the same fellow, who's being kept in a near-penthouse on Riverside Drive. Many are cruising and one fellow passes four---count them---four times. But I walk to 94th, catch bus and get home very late.

TUESDAY, MAY 3. Here again for supper and sausage and again I don't have a chance to eat dessert. We catch cab in time and get to great seats in the Grand Tier. Dialogues (or Serenade for Seven) was not bad, but suddenly we find that Alicia Alonzo and Igor Yousekevitch are dancing the leads in "Giselle" and Lupe Serrano is doing the part of the Queen of the Wilis, for which she is renowned. And the performance is truly a great one, far surpassing anything I'd seen yet in the realm of ballet.

WEDNESDAY, MAY 4. Of course all these days I'm working. After the deadline has elapsed months ago, Jack is making changes and I'm running tests and finding stupid errors and I'm also driving Cathy to distraction with my pestering her about input and the program. Jack says we're doing well, and it seems that the job hangs on the brink of completion for long ages of time. And somehow the deadlines I set for myself never seem to be met. And just today Barbara got a call from Jack that he's received five extra boxes of cards. And she piles a new production on me and an old production and says she's going on vacation, she won't be back until next Friday. I take it all in and hope for the best. Tonight I see "Les Sylphides," "Fall River Legend," which I think I'd seen on TV before, "Rodeo," which also seemed vaguely familiar, about the manly girl, and that, unfortunately, was the end of the program, even though it was rather short. Meet Tom, who enjoyed the last two greatly, and he introduced me to Julius Pethergill and Peter Potter, or some such name and we all go across to Bill's for a beer, and I feel left out so I leave, ogling John Kirza on the way in. Subway home much too late.

THURSDAY, MAY 5. After seeing that they'd changed the schedule for tonight, I decided this is what I wanted to see. Went down to Martha Graham's, from whom I had TWO tickets for tonight (though Jean said "no" long ago), and waited to sell them. Persons coming to the box office were quite interesting, and I finally sold them and got down to buy a box seat for tonight at the Met. Bought a few pocket books to pass the time and ate supper and was the first one into the Met when it opened at 8, getting the best seat in box 30. Had a supposedly good time ogling the crowd, and craning backward and upward for a rather odd view of the Met boxes and balconies. Ivan Allen was in every single one, which wasn't bad, and they included "Designs with Strings," "Pillar of Fire," with a glorious Tommy Rall and a striking Nora Kaye in the Tudor choreography. "Jardin aux Lilas" highly overshadowed by "Theme and Variations," by Tchaikovsky. Ballet as I like it: bright, crisp, juvenile, bouncing and brilliant. Home happy and tired: I've exhausted the AMERICAN BALLET.

FRIDAY, MAY 6. For the first night in ages I did nothing. Made chili for us and we ate it and cuddled and cooed and I enjoyed his body immeasurably. Only I think he likes me too much for his own good. Why is it that as soon as someone shows affection for me I have to begin to dislike them? He looks at me like a little lost pup, and refuses to say anything, because I have told him that I can't stand to hear people say that they love me. It's odd, but it seems I'm not living a complete life, that part of me is standing back, in disgust, or fright, and I THINK about what I do so much that the thought drives the pleasure from the action. Jean makes me feel guilty when I do the things I want. This is the tyranny of love that I feel hovering over me. He's said that he would like to be with me anytime, and all the time, and of course I feel that as a cramp in my freedom. If I want to read a book, or watch TV, or go to a play, or watch a movie, or go to bed with someone else, his very LOVE seems a damper on my actions. And a bit of sadism creeps into me and I find myself wanting to hurt him, most of all, emotionally.

SATURDAY, MAY 7. We wake and breakfast and look for museums to go to. At 2 we start out by taking in a Degas exhibit at the Wickersham on E. 64th. Interesting people in a huge old townhouse and wriggly paintings. We then get down to the 54th Street Theater to get three tickets for Martha Graham's "Clytemnestra," and walk back to the park, ├ęclairs and cream puffs in hand, to read a bit in the park until the weather gets too cold to permit it, and then home to eat and change and get to the ballet, which Jean doesn't like at all, but she certainly knows how to pick a beautiful corps de ballet, especially with Don Wagonner, who is delightful to the utmost. Home together, it hardly matters where.

SUNDAY, MAY 8. I even take letter paper and this book over to Jean's, but all we do is get involved and suddenly the afternoon is gone. Tonight I watch "Embattled Garden," "Seraphic Dialogue," "Alcestis," and "Acrobats of God," and the beauty and skill of her company again hits home. Back very late to finish Dahl's magnificent "Kiss, Kiss" and to bed about 1.

MONDAY, MAY 9. I get home, fully intending to eat after work, and the Times shouts that "Touch of Evil" is on its last day, starring Orson Welles, so I grab cab and get there for end of "Paths of Glory" and all of a rather magnificent "Touch of Evil." Mozelle and I sit and chat among a gorgeous audience before the Barnard show starts a half-hour late with "Moana" and "Tillie's Punctured Romance." Just can't keep my eyes off certain people---wonder if anyone like Mozelle would notice it? Finally we're in, and out at 11:30. Ride subway down with her and across and up and to bed. Every day now I keep kicking myself to catch up with this---it's almost gotten two months behind. But if I'm not even enough on the ball to get a haircut when I should, or scrub my back long and hard enough in the morning so that I won't be embarrassed with Jean when I take off my undershirt in bed, well, how can I be expected to keep up with this, where nothing really happens anyway, that I'll even want to come back to? How will I have time to COME back, some day, if I don't even have time to KEEP UP with this, from day to day? What I need is a year's vacation, in a JAIL, where I HAD to write. It'd be good for me.

TUESDAY, MAY 10. Jim hasn't been calling when I don't call him, but the trouble is I THINK he wants to be with me all the time. Jim just borrows $40 and lets it go at that, which reminds me, one of these days I didn't work all morning, had lunch with him at Tavern on the Green and got to work at 1:30. What a great day! My runs force me to work overtime (or not talk so much during the day) and I get back to the office at 6 to Mozelle, whom I've coaxed to the Inwood Art Theater. We get there in good style, get on the mailing list, and watch a perfect frenzy of French, German, Czech and Russian breasts bounce nakedly across the screen in "Ecstasy" and "Lucrezia Borgia." So much for that. Subway home and I care for such things as laundry and washing socks BETWEEN the lines, where, I suppose, it probably belongs.

WEDNESDAY, MAY 11. At work the cards are found, the old ones are sent back, the new production is made clear, the old production (incorrect, as it turns out) is sent off, and afterwards I'm drawn by an invisible magnet toward the 68th Street Playhouse, for "When Comedy Was King." Out at 7 and go home hungry, but do I eat? I certainly do not. I sit down for six hours and laboriously alphabetize all the 500-odd movies I've seen since June of 1957, when I got to NYC, and after that actually sit down and type out the listing while my stomach churns with hunger, the inside of my mouth gets cancerous from the continual nibbling, and nubbins of my fingernails ache from the great hunks of flesh that I tear off with my teeth---ah, those teeth, how long will they stand this continual nibbling on snot, fingernails, thumb print, finger quick, ear wax, toe dirt, tooth decay and pimple? My spine curves outward from the awkward chair and my eyes ache from the strain of my abominable penmanship and the still more reprehensible lists. As anyone can tell, I'm in just a jim-dandy mood as of late, I am!

THURSDAY, MAY 12. Jean called this evening and quite wistfully asked if I was ready to see the show. If only he would say what he wants to say, and not endure my callousness with such patience. "The Miracle Worker" ended on one of the most moving series of moments in my recollection. Tears poured down my cheeks as they hadn't since "West Side Story," and Jean said not one word about it. During intermission we went out some secluded doors and stood in the cool night air on a platform above the fire escape. We talked and rubbed cheeks, and in a thrill of secrecy, kissed gently in the dimness. This is one of the nicest things about going places with someone like Jean, such little opportunities for mischievousness can be taken advantage of so deliciously. Again we walked back along Third Avenue, and again the parade of light, medium and heavy cruisers, or, as Jean would say "Les Tapineurs."

FRIDAY, MAY 13. Not much happened today. I think Harvey and Jim and I had lunch at the bacchanallianly pastoral "Des Artistes." I am none other than Zizi Tish to the fellows in the office (this WAS last week). Jim invited me to a box in Carnegie Hall (again I didn't tell Jean about it, quite remarkable), but I said Jean was to be out of town, so I wanted to be with him, and went over there and WAS with him, having supper and getting to bed at 11:30, after listening to many of the records Jean got from a friend of his so that I can record them on tape.

SATURDAY, MAY 14. Up at 7 and wave goodbye to Jean at 8. Have to finish typing my movie list, type my record list, watch movies on TV like "Robot Monster" and "Stanley and Livingston," write letters to David Somers, Dave Feld, Don O'Shea, U of A, Larry, and Laird, only taking enough time to get to the store for groceries and eat to beat down the infernal hungry headaches I've been getting, which in conjunction with a cold and constipation, make today rather nauseous. Out to get the paper and back to read it, and get to bed at 12 on the nose. What a great way to spend the Saturday---made possible by Jean visiting friends on Fire Island, which he gets back from absolutely CRIMSON with sunburn.

SUNDAY, MAY 15. Up feeling not very tired at all, and get to work to look over absolutely the last batch of corrections to the U of Mich. Work all day getting set to recompile. Out to get a haircut and end up in the Physiognomical Cutters, sent to a shy, cute, older fellow with tight trousers, dressed left. Out of chair at 6 and at 6:30 he comes out and crosses street. I follow and cross street and let him know who I am at 65th. I follow him up to 75th and he ducks into a drugstore. I walk a bit past and he passes me, eyeing all the way, and while I neglect burning head, he goes into an A&P. Fifteen minutes later he's out and passes me again and goes west on 77th. I follow and just after Second catch up with him and query "Invite me up," and he replies "I'd like to, but I'm just bound out, have to meet someone at 8, so I can't tonight," and in a quieter tone, "Much as I'd like to." I turn off with a "CU," and he a "Goodbye," and I'm home to say "Sure Jean, come over, I'll be eating and watching TV." I eat and watch "Archy and Mehetibal" and we get to bed and I watch him closely and he comes in great gasps and of course I go down and he is very disappointed and I feel guilty and he looks sad and lost and leaves and I jerk off.

TUESDAY, MAY 17. Out of work at 12 and have lunch with Jim at Rumplemeyer's, quite a joint, where I start with a Hawaiian cock. Out to buy a suit and get back at 2. Work very late getting a test ready and again bother the living blazes out of Cathy in checking it over. I MUST stop that. Have to sit down with this book and rattle off a week, then watch "Wicked Scheme of Jebel Deeks" with Sir Alec Guinness, on TV for an hour, and again back to this until my arm cramps up and my eyes are sore and my spine is shot from slumping too much. Talk with Jean and decide to go to Washington on this weekend and he asks me with them for their summer trip and I'm caught up with the idea of going with them through the Northwest from Chicago around to San Francisco. I feel a bit of relief come over me as my letter pile shrinks and my diary fills up. A few more weeks and I think it would have fallen out of existence altogether. That wouldn't do at all. THIS is my literary MASTERPIECE.

WEDNESDAY, MAY 18. I'm writing this on May 18, the first time I can say that in a couple months. Really, it was about time I caught up. Fixed up production for UM at work and struggled with Sheila to compare the masks for the greater part of it. Call Dorfman and catch the express to 14th and the local to 28th, getting there at 6. I get two nice summer suits for $120 and get out for Cinema 16, where they have "Mazarin," a rather dull show by the highly-overrated Luis Bunuel. Subway home and see tight shirt and trousers on the opposite corner, so I stand for 1/2 hour and finally ask "You waiting for someone in school?" Repeating the question when he says "What?" And it turns out, by Gosh, that he is. They laugh at me as they pass and I get home to supper and finish this and find that Eisenstein did NOT film "The Fall of the House of Usher" but that EPSTEIN did. Called Bill but he wasn't home---the nerve of some people. Then I finished this up, and it is soon to be 11:45, I can say that at 11:45, Daylight Savings time, PM, on May 18, 1960, I WROTE THIS! Letters to Mom, Kabuki, and Tournament and Tattoo.

THURSDAY, MAY 19. My good intentions go for nothing as this is written on June 3, over three weeks from now. More and more lately I've felt like I'm "on the verge" of typing, or of seeing someone I've wanted to check up on for a long time, and "Getting things out of the way." I think my lists might be coming back, too, which is probably a good sign, since I always feel better when I can enumerate the things I want to do. Part of my anal personality, no doubt, which Bill always accuses me of having. And it's probably so, since even this diary is a part of it, though, on days on which I can't remember WHAT happened, like this one, I can ramble on about things which should ordinarily be TYPED into a story line, but I get it down here more easily, since the subconscious seems to flow easier when it's beckoned to SUBCONSCIOUSLY. If I consciously sat down to type, I'd never get anywhere. Too bad. I'll probably never get back to this to see if there ARE any pearls scattered among the rocks.

FRIDAY, MAY 20. JJ got the car from Brooklyn and we met at his place at 6, packed up a bit, stopped off at my place for money, and took fifteen minutes, until 7 pm, to cross to the West Side Drive. Through the Holland Tunnel and New Jersey and Delaware and Maryland to Washington, talking about our first loves and meetings and our run-ins with thieves and blackmailers and elaborate stories went back and forth, whiling away the hours between here and there. Ate well at Howard Johnson's and tried to call Dave at 11:30, with no success. Into DC at 12:30 and find Dave isn't home at 1:30, after we drive way across town. Look for hotels and get steered to a closed motel and we're both almost dead from fatigue when I decide at 2:30 to go BACK to the plush motels on NY Avenue. Drive through an odd part of town and finally pull into the Charterhouse, which promises to cost $14, and we fall exhausted into a rather large bed, leaving the other quite done.

SATURDAY, MAY 21. We sleep well and up at 10 to come and shower and watch TV and get out at 11, across street for breakfast and dash to center of town for the White House, getting rushed through just before the place closes at noon, I getting manhandled along the way. Out and park along the Mall and get into the National Gallery, where I see the same things for about the fifth time. Out and across the Mall to the Kress museum for a good fast look (and a bit of erotica), then back to the car and get on the last trip up and down the Washington Monument. See the Jefferson just as it starts to rain and mistakenly detour into Virginia before circling back to the Lincoln. We stay there for quite awhile, watching the lightning and the Capitol and the towers and the plaza, and I call Dave again, to get no answer. Across town again to the Paramount, which I have a lot of trouble finding, and have a steak, and again try to get Dave, and leave my raincoat. Back into the car and back to town to try to find a hotel. The Manger Annapolis is full and I try one last time to get Dave, and finally do, so at least we drive out there at 10:30, and talk for not a few minutes with the bubbly Dave, who's given away my clamdiggers and half his furniture, but not his pornography. He gets cat out and we get to bed about 12:30. During the night Dave reaches for JJ and he "Thinks it's me" and is having a good time until he remembers which side I'm on and he turns over.

SUNDAY, MAY 22. We're up at 9 and out at 10 and get to National Cathedral in time to interrupt the 11 am services and wander through the chapels and crypts and look at the stones and the skeleton and the souvenirs, then off across town again for the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception, which is grand and clean and new, but doesn't impress JJ. We eat on Pennsylvania Avenue and get to the National Gallery, and again we can't hope to see it all. Out at 4 and get to the Phillips and see good show and out at 5. Forget that in the AM we invaded the Moslem shrine and motored around the Embassy section, seeing the French and Russian and Thai, and walking, enjoying the fresh air (also picked up my raincoat). Back onto the highway and have a conversation that flags but little, and when it does we hold hands. Eat about 100 miles outside NYC, to make the second half of the trip seem shorter, and get through the Lincoln Tunnel at midnight. It starts to rain and I dangle Dave's mobile through the sodden streets and go to bed with JJ, feeling quite exhausted.

MONDAY, MAY 23. Really can't remember what I did on Monday, so it couldn't have been very important.

Tuesday, May 24: Down to get tickets to Kabuki, after theater announced they didn't have ANY of my preferred seats left for ANY performances. After buying those I looked at reviews for "King and I" and walked back in and bought two for this evening. Can't remember where we sat, but it was probably together, and we cabbed to the City Center. Performance was good, and we walked back.

WEDNESDAY, MAY 25. Home determined to rest and recuperate, but I look at New Yorker and I catch bus and see "Modern Times" and W.C. Fields: "Pharmacist" and "Barber Shop," after getting off at the wrong stop. Back by bus to bed, very hungry. Why? Because I ate only one meal today.

THURSDAY, MAY 26. Supper here and a leisurely bus to the theater. Rush to too-hot theater for a MARVELOUS production of "West Side Story." Second play I've ever seen twice, and THIS certainly was better than "My Fair Lady," which incidentally, actually ends its run on June 1, due to an actors' strike which inadvertently closes it (there were no lack of customers, it will certainly "re-open"). This means it is ACTUALLY the second longest running musical in history, only "Oklahoma" actually running longer. But probably the records will hold that it is now third, and will probably resume its climb toward first when it reopens. Thus five years from now, when a NEW hit comes along, a press agent can write a letter to the Times saying that HIS play is "actually" surpassing these records. I bet HE has an anal personality, TOO.

FRIDAY, MAY 27. Didn't do anything today but write letters to Larry, Bernie, Dave Feld, Don O'Shea, but last Thursday I forgot to say what I did, and that was going to a party at Margo's $140-a-month one-room apartment on E. 80. There I met a darling Jean-Loup, a quiet Kim, an Egyptian Yashuna, a Carol, chatted a bit with Madelaine and Flika, and a couple other people whose names I didn't catch. The conversation was about IBM, social work and orchestras, and in French, Chinese, Russian and Polish, with a bit of Spanish thrown in. I leave early and wait for JJ, but he comes not down. Cruise for about five minutes on the corner of 73rd and Third, then lose him and come on home. JJ calls later and then I come and go to bed with JJ.

SATURDAY, MAY 28.  By 1 pm we're ready to get up, after talking and cuddling for all sorts of hours, and it's really quite pleasant. One of those last, lovely hours of lost lovely talk between lost, lonely people. He calls Mad to arrange for shopping and we go off to price movie cameras, and I find that the EB deal, which started the whole thing, was no good at all. Down to the Wall Street area at 3 and dock one place before Mad hits us. They look at hi-fi and I pump JJ's dimes into the meter. She bargains and buys (and kid and his father cut them from $900 to $800), and we cart it to her place, a shack on CPW, and put it together and listen. Out about 6 and home for something and we end up at Mrs. Terhes Hungary Gardens, not really too good. To bed early and have sex later and up late.

SUNDAY, MAY 29. He goes off to Connecticut and I get home to newspapers and letters to Mom and Rita and finish sweeping and cleaning apartment, and get up to roof for an hour on my cot in the clouded sun. Back down to papers again and watch TV for "The Little Fugitive" and "The Fugitive Kind." Then JJ calls and comes over and we lay around a bit after supper and call a couple movies and get down to the Astor after washing and changing clothes. "Fugitive Kind" is not much good, and we get back to his place to toss in bed some, and he moans about my lack of experience and I recite the vicious circle of love and hate and embarrassment and sex and front and rear, etc.

MONDAY, MAY 30. Up at 12 and breakfast at Jean's and then we both come here and gather paraphernalia for a sun bath. Between the woman downstairs hanging her clothes up, someone whistling in the distance, and two people on the next apartment sweeping down their roof, the bath was a pinkening one. Afterwards he decides he must go home and clean up the apartment, and a couple minutes later Chuck calls and asks if he can come up. He does so while I shower and dress, and we take off to the Dali exhibit at Finch on 78th. Paintings are very odd and pi-mesonic, and we end up looking at a huge volume from the Louvre, and a collected group of El Greco's paintings (namely all of them that they cold get a photo of). On the way back Chuck suggests a movie, so we come back to get the schedule and talk about ballet and I call Jean, who doesn't like my movieing but can't tell me "no" very easily. We see "Wild River," quite decent, though Montgomery Clift is afraid to move his face for fear it'll crack. Back to cookies and milk and the Ronald Coleman Academy Award winner for "Double Life" on TV, which really isn't too hot. Bed at 1:30, much too late.

TUESDAY, MAY 31. U. of Michigan is about finished at work, and Barbara gives me a 7070 manual to read for my next problem. I also write a 709 training problem for the trainees and get into quite a hassle with Bill Becker and Barbara Katz to get the best solution. This serves to tide me over a rather slow period, though research into Questionnaire Analysis, and a bit of poking into Burns and McDonald again, doesn't leave much time to relax before the new, huge U of M program comes in. And at the end of the week the 7070 label-writing program for Schering suddenly comes in and everything looks hectic. JJ comes late from work and here for supper and we take tape over to his place and I record him on the phone at different speeds, which sends him into gales of laughter at his quick, tittering laugh. We record some operas just in the room, but it comes out poorly. I'm tired and at 11:30, after a walk in the park, I leave him, and he's disappointed for the first time, and I feel badly about it. The thought keeps returning: "I THINK too much!"

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 1. Argue a bit with Becker and Katz at work, and home to fix supper for JJ, and we lounge around apartment and he leaves. The details get really too sordid around here. Between his continuous urging that we be together, and my morbid avoidance of situations where he can show what he thinks of me. One remark which cut through most artifice and hurt him more than me: we had just attempted the act I consider as reprehensible: browning. I was excited before, but lost it just after I entered. I was limp and unexcited, and he had to pant and grunt before I came, and then quite unsatisfactorily. I said I didn't like it, and he suggested I had "mepris" for the act, which means contempt or scorn. He remember how he disliked it, until he was in love. "There is no feeling of guilt about anything if you're in love. It's very nice." There were moments, long moments of silence after the too true remark. So this is how you can tell you're in love? To be able to do anything without a feeling of guilt? Is this the way to gain experience? He also said things were simpler then.

THURSDAY, JUNE 2. JJ gets an invitation to a life-member's preview at the Met, so the evening is free until he gets out of the museum, when he'll call me for a walk in the Park. I get down for a fitting at Dorfman's and find something wrong with both suits, though they're both nice, though possibly a shade too conservative. Out and look for a cheap suit, but don't find it, and end up spending $17 for such things as socks, underclothes, shirts, handkerchiefs, setting my drawers up for a long time. Home to pose in front of the mirror in the too tight briefs, and actually force a masturbation. Even then there's little urge, if the TIMING seems right I'm compelled to carry through. How awfully stupid. Watch part of "Grand Tour" on TV, by Elmer Rice, on POTW, then see an ice show and a Sid Caesar special. Eat just a bit of supper and JJ calls and I get out at 11 to meet him at the park. Walk along fountain and lake and get surprised by the round of shots from mounted police. The lights are out in a large section, and the park is pleasant. We get to his place at 12:45 and get to sleep without much further ado.

FRIDAY, JUNE 3. Surprised the heck out of JJ early this morning (about 6) by bringing off 69 with him. This is really as far into the "different" region as I would care to go. Lounge about a bit and get to work, where I have fun running from place to place trying to find information on the 7070. Back here to read part of the "The Trial" and watch TV and the "Sacco-Vanzetti Case." JJ calls at 12:30 and comes over and we fall asleep after he tries to get me into him and I don't go at all. To sleep about 2.

SATURDAY, JUNE 4. Again he tries and again I fail. He leaves at 10:30 and I sit down and read EB until 2, when I have lunch, then read "The Trial" until 4, feel nauseous and lie down for two hours. Clean place up a bit and watch "Brief Encounter" on TV, then eat supper, not well, of Chow Mein, and watch a rather good "Wild World 60" program on TV about drug addiction. Shave and wash and write quite a bit of this by 11:30. Which is right NOW. Out walking down and up and down and up Third Avenue, seeing ONE nice fellow sitting on a car and Nye, who says he'll be up after I'm home at 1:30. Buy paper and get home and read and wait until 3, when I decide he isn't coming and get to bed.

SUNDAY, JUNE 5. Up at 12 and lounge till 1 and up to roof for over an hour. Down for breakfast of eggs at 2:30, then out to park with "The Trial." Ty walks past and we talk at length and he urges me to meet Jim with him at the San Remo at 5:30. We drink beer and leave for hamburger, then back for more beer and talk and Frederich Maximillian von Runstead enters and invites us to his apartment. We cab to a hypnotic session, and Ty looks better and better to me. We talk of Jim and Al and Dick, Fred's roommate and myself and eat sandwiches and drink and when Dick enters, we laugh and leave, and I ask Ty here, where we sit and talk and play chess and drink Cherry Heering and talk some more, him most of both. He leaves at 2:30, after saying he can't stay out on the night he goes to work, so he won't stay after I invite him to "With or without me, as you wish." I fall into bed and feel awfully eye-wearing at work all today.

MONDAY, JUNE 6. Up and out at 8:30 for subway ride to Met to stand in lengthy line for tickets to the Royal Ballet, which Sol Hurok had sold out except for the orchestra and the Family Circle. Buy seven tickets and get to work at 11, after walking back through lively streets. 7070 problem limps around, and I'm back to eat supper and fix things up a bit and nothing much else except walk out into the park at about 9, after reading a bit more of "Moby Dick." Stare over pond for awhile, then sit on bridge, but it's too quiet there, so I sit on bench and look well until Carl comes along and starts talking. I ask him to ask me to his place, and he does, and he's cuddly though married, and he steadfastly refuses to come. We listen to his awful record player and I leave at 12:30 to catch cab and drop into bed at 1.

TUESDAY, JUNE 7. Up and eat breakfast during work hours, an old thing by now. U of M hangs over, and 7070 grows more frantic. Out afterwards to news of a subway fire at Grand Central which traps 3000 and fells 200 and get to Dorfman's, where I hear that an atom bomb's dropped. Busy day. Suits fit well, so I get home about 7:30. Eat and watch "The House of Bernarda Alba" on TV and get to bed at 11. I really needed it.

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 8. Work goes along and I get peeved at Fred and Barbara and Barbara gets peeved with Ted, and everyone knows nothing. Out to buy groceries and dash home at 6:15 to wash dishes and prepare frozen chicken for JJ, who doesn't kiss me when he enters, is very much to himself through the meal, vaguely angry when I don't eat the salad and dessert before taking off for the 8 pm curtain. Hardly a dozen words pass between us as we unwisely walk to theater. Curtain is up as we enter, and dash for seats. Show is odd, the Grand Kabuki, and I get earpiece for the two following plays, and a good thing it is, too, since the last has almost no dancing, singing, or acting, but strictly the oddly grating Japanese talk. Out at 11 and walk home, again silently. I ask him up for dessert, and we get to bed.

THURSDAY, JUNE 9. All this written exactly one month from now, on July 9. Worked and home, nothing much.

FRIDAY, JUNE 10. Went up to Bills at 8:30, when I said I'd get there at 8, and even then I didn't eat, since I succumbed to the traditional Friday evening occupation: reading the TV guide. Bus to Bill's, very hungry. Meet Melvin and (and here it ends, except for the "Meet Dean" on the top of June 9.) (though, strangely, there's a notation of letters written way back above September 17, which says I sent letters for a "reserve unit denial, FY61ACDUTRA; QUAL RPT, Rita, Dave, JJ, and Ordsch---whatever on earth those things mean.) AND THUS I'VE FINISHED WITH WHAT I WROTE IN MY 1960 DIARY!!!


1 "Suddenly Last Summer," "Journey to the Center of the Earth," "On the Beach"
2 "Heartbreak House," "L'il Abner" as a movie
3 "Leave It to Jane," read Haggard's "Cleopatra"
4 "Ben-Hur"
6 C16
8 "Devil Strikes at Night," "Pather Panchali"
9 Haircut two weeks ago
10 C16
11 "Camille"*
12 Poughkeepsie
13 Poughkeepsie
14 Poughkeepsie
18 "Heidi"*, "Captain's Paradise"*
20 "Peer Gynt"
21 Poughkeepsie
22 Poughkeepsie, "Letter from an Unknown Woman"*
24 "New York, New York," at 8:30
25 "Tiger Bay," read "Exodus"
27 "Diary of a Lost Girl," "Curse of Pompeii" at C16
28 Poughkeepsie
29 Poughkeepsie
30 Read "Doctor Zhivago," "Farmer's Daughter"*
31 Children at YMHA at 1:30, "Casablanca"*, "Unfinished Dance"*

1 "Pride and Prejudice"*, "La Plume de Ma Tante"
2 "The Man in the White Suit"*, "At the Drop of a Hat"
3 Read "Subterraneans"
4 "The Beast with Five Fingers"* at Poughkeepsie
5 Poughkeepsie
10 Told Jack I'd be down in 4 weeks, C16
11 Baltimore
12 "The Stranger"*, Baltimore
13 "The Last Bridge"
14 Moscow State Symphony
15 "Intolerance" at Barnard, read "After Many a Summer Dies the Swan"
17 "Mata Hari"*
18 Baltimore
19 Baltimore
20 Washington, "Good Soup
21 Washington,
22 "Madama Butterfly" at Met
23 Read "Famous Ghost Stories"
24 C16
26 "Once More, with Feeling"
28 C16, Jim, "Rigoletto"*
29 Baltimore, "Old Maid and the Thief," "Fall of the City," read "The Law"

1 Baltimore, Glen Gould
2 Baltimore
3 Baltimore
4 "From Here to Eternity," "All the King's Men," Stan.
5 "Aku Aku," Charles Engle at Town Hall
7 "Ikiru," movies at Living Theater
8 "The Last Voyage"
9 "Henry IV, Part 1" at Phoenix, deadline for University of Michigan
10 "Flying Dutchman" at Met
11 Read "Pillow Problems" and "A Tangled Tale"
12 "Volpone" on TV, read "Crime and Punishment"
13 Aromarama for "Scent of Mystery," TV night
14 "Fourposter," "Death of a Salesman," deadline for UM
16 C16, READ deadline for UM
17 "Cheaper by the Dozen," "Methuselah's Children"
18 "Opus 21"
19 "Brave New World," "Tomorrow"
20 "Zoo Story," "Krapp's Last Tape," "USA," all plays.
21 "Parsifal
22 "Seventh Seal," "Smiles of a Summer Night," "Orpheus Descending"
23 "The Balcony," movie of "Porgy and Bess"
24 709
25 Jim's
26 Jim's
27 Jim's, C16
28 Bill's, "Greed"
29 Walk with Jim
30 Baltimore, C16, Ballet Russe
31 Baltimore, read "Theory and Practice of Hell"

1 Washington, Norway Festival
2 Washington Party
3 "The Lesson," "No Exit" in Washington
4 Baltimore, TV
5 Baltimore, "Ape and Essence"
6 "Sapphire," "The Light Touch," Jean
7 "Orlando"
8 Jean
9 TV: "Palm Tree in a Rose Garden," Jean
10 "The Cranes Are Flying," Jean
11 "The Constant Husband," "The Medium"
12 "Andrea Chenier"
13 TV: "Enchanted" by Giradoux, "Expresso Bongo"
14 "Twelve stories They Wouldn't Let Me Do on TV"
15 "Pornography and the Law," Brooklyn, Jean
16 Bronx Zoo, supper
17 (Sometime this week I saw my 500th movie in NYC!!) Jones Beach, Coney Island with Jean
18 "Blood of a Poet," "The Young and the Damned," "The Mistress," "Aparajito"
19 "Rosemary," "Sink the Bismark"*
20 "The Unforgiven," C16
21 Jean here after Y
22 Dinner at Andy Sherwood's with Jack Cornelius
23 Philadelphia with Madeline LeVilland, Chio-Hua Wong, Jean-Paul Koslowski, Synagogue, Suntop houses
24 Museum and Elfreth's Alley and home to Gay Vienna and sleep at Jean's
25 "Strike" at Barnard
26 Jean here for supper
27 Phoenix's "Henry IV, Part 2"
28 Bill's birthday, dinner at Jean's and Museum of Modern Art
29 American Ballet
30 Up at 12, dinner at-Jean's at 7

1 Mom's birthday, C16, met for coffee
2 "Passion of Joan of Arc" at Barnard
3 American Ballet
4 American Ballet
5 American Ballet
6 Jean here
7 "Clytemnestra" in matinee
8 Martha Graham in eve
9 "Paths of Glory," "Moana," "Tillie's Punctured Romance" at Barnard, "Touch of Evil"
10 "Ecstasy," "Lucrezia Borgia," read "Kiss, Kiss"
11 "When Comedy Was King"
12 "Miracle Worker" as play
14 "Robot Monster," "Stanley and Livingstone"*
15 "Jezebel"*
16 "Archy and Mehetibal," haircut 
18 C16, suit
19 Party at Margo's
20 Washington
21 Washington
22 Washington
24 "The King and I"
25 "Modern Times," "W.C. Fields"
26 "West Side Story"
27 Letters
28 Shopping with JJ
29 "Fugitive Kind" as movie, "The Little Fugitive"*, sun on roof
30 "Double Life"*, "Wild River," Exhibit of Dali
31 JJ here for supper and walk and tape in park
1 JJ here for supper
2 I walk in park, TV, shopping
3 TV
4 "Brief Encounter"*, read ""he Trial
6 Get Ballet tickets
7 Call about suits
8 Kabuki
10 Bill moves, Dean
11 Fred and Dick
12 Dick and Fred
13 Kabuki
14 Recording session at JJ's
15 "Prisoner of Zenda"*
16 Recording at J's Hillside, N.J.
17 "Moby Dick"*
18 Suit shopping and more with JJ, "A Man Escaped," "The Maltese Falcon," "Ask Any Girl,"
   "The Mating Game"
19 Park and bed at 10:30
20 "The Green Man," "Private's Progress," come twice
21 Read "The Trial," "Midsummer's Night's Dream," "Son of the Sheik"
22 "Psycho," Thalia programs begin
23 "Tournament and Tattoo"
24 "Little Women"*
25."Anthology of Ribaldry"
27 Meeting JJ, New Yorker for "Triumph of the Will"
28 Fix drawers
29 "Yankee Doodle Dandy," Iris Murdock's "The Bell," "The Mummy's Hand"
30 Wall Street and Jimmy's Restaurant and JJ's and Markets.
1 JJ's
2 Across Brooklyn Bridge and along docks and talk, "Three Cases of Murder"*
3 Chelsea and rocks and "On the Bowery" and "The Quiet One" and Phase II and Cherry Lane
4 Coney Island and fireworks and tin band
5 "Demoniaque," "The Night My Number Came Up"
6 JJ's and Upper East Side walk 77th-96th, East End drive and 7th Ave, and disgust
7 "Casque D'Or," "Golden Coach"
8 "Book Digests"
9 "The Snake Pit," and "The Dark Past," both about killing Father, and "Mark of the
   Vampire," all on TV
10 "Amerika"
11 "The Man Who Knew Too Much" at New Yorker, meet Gil
12 Study and Camus's "The Stranger"
13 Baltimore
14 Baltimore and sleep at 9PM
15 Bill in Village and Cherry Land and walk home
16 Tod Browning's "Ordet" (or was it "The Mark of the Vampire"?), "German Stories"
17 "Decline and Fall"
18 "Curse of Frankenstein," cocktails at the Gotham, "Savage Eye"
19 Work till 1
20 Work till 12
21 Work till 11
22 Village with Fred
23 Coney Island with Fred
24 "Lost World"
25 "Freaks" and "New Yorker"
26 Work
27 Work
28 Work, meeting at Schering
29 Tell JJ "No"
30 Talk and sweep and wash and fix apartment
31 Palisades
1 "Othello" at New Yorker and talk to Bill
2 Work
3 Work
4 Work, meeting at Schering
5 Work
6 Long Island and Sag Harbor and Orient Point and awimming and Overton's cabins
7 Long Island and Montauk and rock sitting and picnicing and "Hit the Deck"
8 "Greed" at New Yorker, Gil
9 Work
10 Change work, home from 4 to 12
11 Up at 2:30 and work
12 "Spanish Earth," "Forgotten Village," work till 4
13 To Norwalk and boat to Wood Island and build pier and get wood and camp and relax
14 Leave island and get to Tanglewood and roam roads and see Hudson and back in Dauphine
15 "Cabinet of Dr. Caligari," "Hercules," "Macumba Love," "Fall of the House of Usher" at
   New Yorker
16 Shopping and work, "In This Our Life"*
17 "Sunset Boulevard," work till 3
19 Supper at Jim's?
21 "Three-Penny Opera"
22 "Last Will of Dr. Mabuse" at New Yorker
26 "Olympia, Part 1"
27 Bear Mountain
28 "Phantom of the Opera" at New Yorker, and Long Beach
29 "Magnificent 7" and "Umberto D"
31 "Wee Geordie"

1 "Girl from Jones Beach*"
2 "Sons and Lovers," Manuel
3 "Olympia, Part II," work, "The Time Machine" at 10
4 Work at 8AM, "Song Without End," stop at 5:30AM
9 "Forbidden Games," ""eat the Devil
13 "West Side Story"
14 Paul
15 Svetlana Beriosova in "Swan Lake" with JJ
16 "Affair in Versailles"*
17 "Magic Fire," "The Good Earth"
18 Bob Brown for just one hour, "The Sheep Has Five Legs"*
19 Leo Larkin, "All about Eve"*
20 "Crime and Punishment"*
21 Bob Brown's for camera shots at 7
22 Call Manuel 8-9
24 "Flesh and the Devil," "Mitsui," "Claudine"
26 School starts
28 Margot Fonteyn in "Ondine"

1 National Ballet with JJ, Dance series at museum, supper at Brasserie, Menemsha's, Vic
2 Sick, ill, cold
3 "Anna Karenina" (Garbo)
4 Letters to Sire Plan, Felt rent, Don O'Shea, Paul McLean, Laird, Mom, JJ
7 "Sleeping Beauty"
8 Cocktails at Lee's at 4, "La Fille Mal Gardee"
9 "Masters of the Congo Jungle," "From the Terrace," John
10 "Rodan"
12 "Pickwick Papers," "Noah's Ark," Fabian
13 "King Kong"
14 "Childhood of Maxim Gorky," "Jubilee," John Connolly again
15 Carl Spring
16 "Tomorrow Is Forever"
19 "Time Must Have a Stop": Aldous Huxley
20 "Midnight Lace," "Blue Jeans," "Weddings and Babies"
21 John
22 "La Boheme," letters to Paul, Don, Larry, Rita, Laird, JJ
23 "She Done Him Wrong" at C16
24 "The Man," Tom Preston
26 "Anecdotes of Destiny," by Isak Dinesen
27 "Collected German Short Stories"
28 "The Women"*, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl
31 "Frankenstein"

2 "Camille"*, walk in park, suit and shirt shopping
3 "Rasputin and the Empress"*
4 "Our Town"*
5 Kennedy parade? "Doctor at Sea"
6 Carl and Met and Fleur de Lis, "In Old Chicago"*
7 Tickets with Carl and supper and pocket books and tape recording
8 "Morning Glory"*
9 "Chess Fever" and "Bed and Sofa" at C16, "Gabriel Over the White House"*, "All Quiet on   the Western Front"
10 Write Dave, Larry, Mom about coming home, "Dynamite," "Down to the Sea in Ships"
11 Carl and Erika's and John's and Park, Larry's birthday
13 C16
14 "Shors" at New Yorker
15 New York Ballet with Carl, call Manuel
16 "Bye-Bye Birdie"
17 "The Flute and the Arrow," "Dreams," "Golden Fish," Johnny and Jim Masters at Wagon Wheel
18 "Split Second," "Cleopatra," read "Sons and Lovers"
19 "Blue Angel," Mike calls at 6PM
21 "Dead of Night" at New Yorker, pick up suits
23 Travel to Ohio
24 Ohio
25 Carl's birthday, Ohio
26 Cleveland Symphony
27 New York Ballet, travel to NYC
28 "Der Letzte Mann" at New Yorker
20 Skating

3 Art tour
4 "Criminal Life of Archibaldo de la Cruz" at C16, "Streets of Sorrow" (Garbo), "Blue
   Angel," "Your Past Is Showing"*
5 10 typed pages, "World of Suzie Wong"
7 20 typed pages, shorts at C16
8 10 typed pages, call Manuel at 4, "Journey to the Lost City," "Michael Strofoff"
9 10 typed pages
10 10 types pages, art tour
11 10 typed pages, "Village of the Damned," "All the Young Cannibals"
12 "Village of the Damned," "A Woman Alone," 10 typed pages
13 New York Ballet with Carl, Rita's birthday, read "Mythology"
14 Chinese Banquet at 6:30, "Lady Vanishes"
15 Mom arrives, we talk till 12
16 Lunch at Biltmore, TV show, school ends, buy gifts at Macy's, see "Gypsy"
17 To UN and buy Christmas gifts and to Spartacus and Copacabana and Sammy's Bowery Follies and Jack Silverman's International on a Grey Line tour
18 Mom leaves at 4 after Mass and lunch and Ballet at YMHA
19 Send more Christmas cards and cash checks and write letters and clean apartment and buy plane ticket and get to Laird's at 9PM and get out to cruise till 2.
20 Proofread for Laird and get to University of Pennsylvania and meet Jim Lissenden and
   see museum and see "L'Elisir D'Amore" and cruise a little and get to bed.
21 See Rosenbach gallery and pack and get 4PM bus to Washington, read "Myth of Sisyphus" and go unhappily to Hut.
22 Call Paul and meet Chip and go skating and have dinner at Dr. Grant's and talk LONG into evening, and back to hotel with Paul
23 Watch TV and do Christmas shopping and watch lighting of National tree and get money from Dr. Grant and meet Paul and get early to hotel for great time.
24 Up and buy ticket and look at terminal and bus and read "Brothers Karamazov" and to New York City at 7:30 and read letters and mail and look at books and get to bed late
25 Up to "Nutcracker" at City Center and mess with blocks and fix up apartment and pack for California and fly out at 12
26 Read and look at Grand Canyon and Rockies and in Burbank at 9. Call Carl and get ride through town and lie on beach and meet Lou (writes for Freeburg and Joe Carpenter and eat at deli
27 Loaf in apartment and out at 2. Eat in drug store and shop bookshops and Ballocks, buy pants and get to Red Raven and meet Luke
28 With Luke to Pancake House and Le Playo and surfers beaches and to fabulous Knott's Berry Farm. Back to dine at Jack's medieval barn and cruise and to bed
29 Out on Wilshire bus to IBM and Carl and I get lunch with new SRIers, and I get to
   Angels Flight and to Gardens and meet Fred Moy and we eat steaks
30 Bus to Pacific Ocean Park and back to get flight to San Francisco. Check in at Cleft
   and meet Mike and I get off to Hideaway and meet Joe Nasternak.
31 Cable car with Carl and Gary Nelson to Buena Vista and see Balclutha and Fisherman's Wharf and I try preview but we end up at Actor's Ensemble and I spend New Years on Market St, also seeing "Los Disarraigados" earlier in the evening.