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1977 3 of 11

DIARY 11674

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 28. Alarm goes at 8, but I get out of bed at 9:15 when Dennis has showered and waited for coffee and gotten breakfast ready. Up for cold bacon and fried eggs, that he seems to be into lately, with raisin toast bought last night. We leave about 10, I forget to get off at Borough Hall so I have to walk to Court Street to buy two typewriter ribbons, then shop for what groceries I remember I need and get home at 11 to pick up the mail and find that NO ONE has phoned during the weekend. Phone Arnie to get that Michael Fina sells the Smith-Coronas at $170 as a loss-leader, and relay that information to Dennis. Phone Rachel to see that she DEMANDS 800 lines including the lines between the letters. Then finish "Sidetripping." Then get to typing the diary pages, after eating a midday meal of cereal after Mrs. Johnson leaves after being locked out of her apartment while I do the dishes, and Rolf calls to come over to sell more poppers, and he stays from about 4 to 5, talking about Kathy and his changing of his "social and political relationships," and he looks at the porno that I've selected for ordering. Then I finish this page as the fourth for the day before typing the final Actualism resume. Do that, then put on the last of the roast beef and some corn to have for ANOTHER midday meal before exercising for the first time in ages and showering for class tonight, then eat, without wine, it occurs to me only now, while looking through New York, and out a little early after packing up the index to take to Rachel tomorrow, library slips to read at the main library before meeting Dennis for the show tomorrow, and notes on Dennis's index. Get to the door at 7:55 to find that they're running late on the intro (2 people again), and who walks down the hall but Michael Blackburn, who's living with Dorothy (and at this point I read through ALL the Actualism papers, which gets me off typing, and I do no more THAT day), and they look through my resume, which seems fine until I lay it on the desk and Jim looks at it and says "What's this?" I ask Rebekah about it and she says maybe I should add something to it, so I take it back. The class is DYNAMITE, and I'm VERY pleased (see DIARY 11675). Out about 9:35 and to Dennis's with cream sherry, waking him up, and we have chicken that he's cooking, then smoke, then get into what's probably great sex.

DIARY 11676

TUESDAY, MARCH 1. Wake the same time as Dennis with fragments of a dream going through my mind that I take notes on at the breakfast table (see DIARY 11677), realizing with some satisfaction that this catches me up to March in my dream list. He had a tryout he wanted to get to, but we chatted over breakfast and he left about 10:30. I phoned the NY Public Library and found that tonight was a long-open evening, and worked another hour on the Econometrics index to edit out the 30 lines to bring it down to 799, and then called Rachel at 11:15 to ask if she'd be there about 12, but she goes to lunch at 11:55, so I should be there about 1. I finish reading "Gravity" there, then dress and subway down (after calling Ginny to find that the missing chapter won't be ready for me to pick up) and shuttle across to Wiley and take it to Rachel, where we have a hassle about paying (see DIARY 11678), and I settle for $340, about what it was WORTH, but not reflecting the time I spent on the AWFUL book. Leave about 2 and walk to the library and finish reading "Death into Life," and read "The Flames" and "Old Man in New World," all by Stapledon (see DIARY 11679), and then with the time left check out the short stories by Virginia Woolf and John Collier, and I DO have most of them, and check Ouspensky and Woolf in the card catalog, so I can catch up with them the NEXT time (having forgotten to bring the Blackwood list of stories to make THAT list more accurate). Out at 6:35 to meet Dennis in front of the West Shanghai Restaurant on 42nd near 8th, where he and Dana used to get frozen banana daiquiris, but they don't make them anymore, so we order lobster Cantonese (so hacked it's hard to get at the meat, which is tough and rather flavorless, buried in a gloppy sauce of curdled egg white that's pretty disgusting), pork egg foo young (with a sweetish sauce---and maybe THAT'S the meal that's given me some diarrhea-like episodes and has made Dennis feel so weak lately?), and a bottle of sake which they serve hot in a teapot, neat. But for $15, it was pretty bad. Out JUST about 8 to be the last people in to "The Trip Back Down," and THAT'S pretty bad, too (see DIARY 11684). Out about 10 and come back to my place after buying ice cream for 99 and root beer for 76 for expensive floats, and have those, and talk, and smoke, and go to sleep without having sex.

DIARY 11685

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 2. Alarm rings at 8 and Dennis is up and showering while I slugabed until 9:15 and he has breakfast on the table. We leave about 10 and I get home and don't feel like doing a thing. SHOULD get to typing, but I don't do any during the day (even though Dennis said he'd be over tomorrow to type cards, so I won't be able to use typewriter tomorrow), but I DO pick up the copy of "Human?" and start reading THAT, which disgusts me, but it's entertaining though it isn't good. Water the plants, possibly do the dishes, and this might be the day that Mrs. Johnson came around because her sister locked her out of her apartment when she went off to the dentist. She said she'd ring me when she got back about 2:20, but I finished the dishes then and she didn't buzz back, and then I saw her sister in her apartment, so I guess they got together. I suppose I shower and shave, and I'm quite sure that at LEAST I exercised for the second time this week, determined to get back to it, though I'm surprised that I was SO out of shape that I could BARELY squeeze into the bell-bottoms for the performances tonight, AND I felt the sorenesses when I exercised for the second time that I'd NEVER before felt while starting with 10 pushups and 10 situps on the first level of the exercises. Shows how much I needed them. Do a few other little things around the apartment, but nothing that I really had to do, and leave with a bit of relief at 4:55 to take a bottle of poppers to Paul (who called to thank me for dinner last week---2 weeks ago!---and ask for a bottle) at 5:25 and stand in front of Town Hall waiting for Dennis until he finally comes out at 5:35 to say he'd been waiting inside the lobby. He saved seats in the first row, and Viveca Lindfors is interesting for an hour (see DIARY 11686). Subway up to 72nd and get two tickets for the Nikolais Dance Theater by 7, then Dennis wants to eat in a place he's seen on 7th and Broadway called Shelter, and I have pretty good mousaka and he has VERY good beef bourguignon, and I have some Krakus Polish beer that's not so great. Down to Nikolais at 8 for a colorful program (see DIARY 11687) and out at 10 to go to my place where we drink lots of crème de menthe and smoke and don't have sex and get to sleep about 1:30.

DIARY 11688

THURSDAY, MARCH 3. The alarm rings at 8, I'm up without sex to type DIARY 11689-11693 about the image of a baby crying and ultimate frustration at 8:30 to 9:30, and then I fob off soft-boiled eggs with the thought that we'll have a regular lunch today. He gets to typing on his cards and I decide to change around the bookshelves, making good my thought to make the cabinet in the bedroom a showcase of first editions, but not going so far as to take SINGLE editions out of the lists of authors in the study. Since that's not many books, I take the "middle" section from the bookcase by the door and put that in, thereby expanding the fiction and nonfiction to two complete bookcases, leaving nice room for further expansion, though not quite as much room as the books will take that I already HAVE on the shelves to read. Nail up Don O'Shea's !-ball and ?-shadow, read Dennis's play "Touched by the Sun," talk with Arnold for a long time about not much of anything, and then gather all the stuff that I HAD to do long ago from the desk drawer and spread out over the kitchen table. When we have lunch at 1, I mix tuna salad and warm the banana cake and put it all on the board with the candles and take it into the living room to eat. Then he's playing around and playing around, and finally we undress and crawl under the covers and have FABULOUS sex in the afternoon, about 4, and it occurs to me to say to him that we've probably had sex at about ALL hours of the day and night by now, and it's a good feeling. He gets SO hard that he comes almost without touching, just prying apart his cock-lips and letting the come pour abundantly forth. Write about $200 in checks to porno and ballet and bills, but forget to mail them this evening. Still leave the table in a mess because Dennis takes the subway with me to 72nd to see Madame's "Seagull," which isn't super in a church, and he'll be making the rest of the chicken for us for dinner at his place. Arnold brought me a ticket to "Scheheradaze" (HA!) from TKTS, tried Sciarada, and bought poppers, and then I showered and shaved and we left. "Scheherazade" isn't Louis's best work (see DIARY 11694), but the girl next to me is a kick, and will be appearing with Robert Small (who's just as sexy as can be) at Riverside in April. To Dennis's about 10 to do light-work nicely from 10:15 to 11, then we have spaghetti and meat sauce, drink lots of sherry, and get to sleep without having sex for a change.

DIARY 11695

FRIDAY, MARCH 4. Alarm again at 8; Dennis isn't feeling very well and neither am I; I think it might have been the Chinese food on Tuesday, since my bowels have been off since then. He cooks the rest of the spaghetti for lunch and we have eggs for breakfast and leave his place about 10:15. I get home and AGAIN have a sense of not wanting to do anything. Down for the mail and read the Soho Weekly News and then open the index from Wiley and it's BADLY edited. Try calling Rachel at 11:55 but she's at lunch, call back at 4 and she's left early, and I'm pissed enough to write a page about it (see DIARY 11678). Still can't quite get into typing, so I finish reading "Human?" to my chagrin. But DO type a special page on thoughts from the book on Sufism about the fact that it DOES seem to be seeping through (see DIARY 11696). Type a total of 12 pages through the day, which makes me feel good, particularly to get the Stapledon notes out of the way. Also check which stories by whom I have from my list from the library on Tuesday. Have corned beef sandwiches for lunch and finish the apple pie, and then finally clear off the kitchen table from all my junk, getting most the stuff to be mailed in a pile that I mail this evening. Rick calls last night and I call him back and talk to Dennis about his wanting a dinner and a theater ticket for the projector. The fuck. Garble Maureen Duffy's message and call her AFTER 4:30, not BEFORE. Hm. Then exercise again, easier now, and shower with the drain clogging again, and wait for Dennis to show up, which he doesn't by 7:25, so I leave and get to the Beacon JUST at 8, where Azak has tickets for 3. Confusion. He gives it away, and the program is better (see DIARY 11697), though Louis doesn't look so great, and we're out at 10:14 to get to Shelter (he's been starved, living off vanilla yogurt and grapefruit) where he has wine while I have a great Bloody Mary, and he has a hamburger and I have chili and salad, good. Call Dennis and he's not home and not answering at my place (he left his keys in his pants in my apartment!). He wants to tour Japan and we talk about that, he's thinking of est, so it's an interesting dinner. I'm home at 12:30, meet John coming from the subway, liking his 4-12 typing, and out of the St. George to meet a cold, wet Dennis, just phoning to see if I went to his place! Home and he drinks crème de menthe and we talk about the evenings and we don't even smoke, but it's STILL 1:50 when we get to sleep at last. (Watson on subway, too!).

DIARY 11699

SATURDAY, MARCH 5. I wake about 7, feeling good, then doze until 9, when I start light-work, doing well until 9:50. Started playing with myself, hoping that Dennis would wake, and remember the dream I had (see DIARY 11698) of surf in a foreign land. Finally wake Dennis by playing with him, and he brings me off gently with two fingers, VERY highly sensuous, and then he rolls over on top of me and moves against my stomach until he says in a straitened voice, "I'm coming! I'm coming!" and there's a LONG pause and three or four globs of come roll out and then a fifth glob SHOOTS out and rolls up my stomach, and then he collapses on me, moaning, and we talk and neck and get out of bed at 11:15, back to our old schedule. Make breakfast of hamburger and corn, talk to Dennis about "Touched by the Sun" for about an hour, and then get to typing, interrupted by his questions and comments about his last index for Ginny. Don't know WHERE the time went, but finish 8 pages now: 5 pm! Then Dennis starts typing some and I get back to the mail, then wash dishes and we "chat" (argue, that is) about whether to have tuna and noodles for dinner: first Dennis says no, then yes. We have it. I catch another rather boring "Space 1999" from 7-8 about an intelligent rock that they finally rain on though it tried to kill them, then 8-10 is "Blithe Spirit" in a movie produced by Noel Coward, starring Rex Harrison and a couple of green ladies who haunt him and a Margaret Rutherford with a waist who tries to get rid of them: but the maid did it (called them), and it ends with Harrison dead NEXT to them, his black armbands (two seemed VERY ostentatious) changed to white. Good and funny, and Paul Morse calls Dennis to say he's returning to California tomorrow. Then get the Times and start on the puzzles while watching "The Monty Python Special" from 10-11:30, with interruptions for Channel 13 advertising, and then watch "Flash Gordon Conquers the Universe" from 11:30 to 4 (see DIARY 11700). I'm very sleepy during the showing, but I'd wanted to watch the individual episodes, and here they've taken out the tiresome re-introductions, so there's no time like the present and I bull it through till 4, then can't sleep when I get into bed. Dennis went at 12, saying he'll have to start doing it more often, without smoking. Yea?

DIARY 11701

SUNDAY, MARCH 6. Wake at 9, headachy, to shit and get back into bed. Dennis gets up then to work and call his folks. I try light-work from 10:50 to 11, but it's not working easily, so I'm up to watch Sam Barber on Camera Three, not so interesting, until 11:30, and then put on hamburger for lunch that we eat until 12:15. I then shower and wash my hair, Dennis leaves for Paul's at 1, and I settle down and type these two pages by 1:25 pm. Dress to leave and sit down and watch the first half of Liv Ullman and Dick Cavett from 1:30 to 1:45, but then the thought of being THAT late to Merle Miller starts to prey on my mind, so I leave for the BMT, JUST catching the train, but STILL get to 250 E. 53rd about 2:45. It's really Jerry Chandler's bare apartment, the crowd goes silent as I enter, indicating the woeful quality of guests, and Merle talks from about 3 to 4 (see DIARY 11702). I leave quickly, feeling depressed about the group, stop by the Fantasy Shop and pick up a copy of Clarke's "Challenge of the Spaceship," a coup, and subway home by the A train via 4th Street. Something tells me later to watch "Star Trek" and I pick up the FOURTH-last title in my list. Get into the double crostic, which works fairly easily when I get some definitions from the Thesaurus of Book Digests, and then read and read and read ALL the Times until about 10, when I decide it would be nice to finish "Introduction to Sufi Doctrine," interrupted by Bruce Lieber calling to say he's in the neighborhood, so I invite him up. He arrives just as I finish the Sufi book. We sit and talk interestingly (see DIARY 11703) and I turn on the "Ask President Carter" tape from yesterday that I missed, on Channel 13 from 11:40 to 1:40. Bruce leaves about 12 after saying he wants to take a walk on the Promenade, and I say I don't know whether Dennis has the keys or whether he's expecting me to be here, so I can't go with him. Watch to the end of the program, having had pizza at Frascati's on the way home and toasted corned beef sandwiches for the food for the day, and then am horny enough to smoke and get out the porno and rubber bands and come VERY nicely, shooting all the way up to my tits, with marvelously felt spasms. Too tired to do light-work, but feel that I've got it pretty well in just a few minutes, so I drift off to a contented sleep about 2:15, clock on floor so I don't have to use earplugs.

DIARY 11704

MONDAY, MARCH 7. Wake about 9:30 and work with light until about 10:15, when I felt horny enough to get out the porno again and jerk off. Out of bed and have breakfast of a little cereal while finishing "Best of Wyndham 1932-49," and then decided to clear off my shelf and ordered what should be my last order from Cheeselovers, read two months of est calendars (that I'd forgotten I even HAD), read the "Christmas Siddhi Path" from Muktananda, and "Bioenergetic Systems," with some fascinating articles. Called Rachel and found that all the changes WERE part of their style, and got a lot of calls: from Arno twice, Maureen to apologize for telling me (and she seems more together about it now than she's ever been about ANYTHING before, pushing some NEW things with Hillman in their apartment) about lesson 10, Ron with more work that I turn down, and Paul Bosten inviting me and Dennis to his and two other birthday parties tomorrow night. Then just as I'm about to get down to typing, in comes Dennis at 4, so we sit and talk about our days for about half an hour, and then I go out for groceries because he hadn't eaten yet. Back about 5 to shower, put more things away, and type these 3 by 6:35 pm. Then while Dennis talks to Ginny about his index and types, I try rewriting two of the letters for Lauren from 6:40 to 7:10, but I'm not into it yet. Write a check for Actualism, mail two more requests for information on Africa, and leave at 7:20 to start reading "Imperial Earth" by Clarke on the subway. Get there at 7:50 with no one there, and go upstairs to find that EVERYONE is there for the evening, which turns out to leave me feeling out of it (see DIARY 11705). Out at 10 and home about when I said, at 10:35, and make the last of the peas and warm up Mrs. Johnson's pineapple to have with the pork shoulder. Eat and talk until 11:45, then Dennis works until 12:30 while I play with the Perrygons from MMA and set up some of the tiny toy soldiers to pass the time, then smoke. Dennis crawls into bed about 12:45 and we chat and listen to records that I haven't heard in AGES on the player, and I have fun working on his cock, which is nice and hard, but he wants to sleep so I set the alarm for 8:30 as he wishes and we get to sleep about 1:30.

DIARY 11707

TUESDAY, MARCH 8. Wake at 8 and doze, then shut off the alarm at 8:30 and Dennis doesn't move until about 9, when we start cuddling, and then he gets hotter and hotter until he's showing off his cock on my chest, smiling and moaning and listening to my talk until he holds the cock-head and without spasms in the shaft two long thick threads of semen unspool from his cock and drop on to my chest, and he hadn't come yet, so he works away on his cock while I work away on mine, and he comes with little more semen and I work up very nicely and shoot quite a lot---though we both know the tub is stopped up and we won't be able to shower until the plumber comes up today, but I'm glad he didn't come up before 10, when we crawled out of bed, washed, dressed, made the bed, and I made bacon and scrambled eggs that we ate until 11, when I did the dishes, and then typed these three pages (what a relief) by 11:50 am. Then get down to typing five or six letters for McGraw-Hill at last, from 12 to 2:20. Mrs. Johnson calls to say that the plumber had to work late today and so will be over tomorrow. I phone Lauren, who seems worried about the letters, but I've got to get her some by Monday. Go out to the laundry which turns out to be two packages, so I have to bring those BACK before I go out and buy MORE groceries (twice in two days is too much!) for Azak tonight (Dennis left sometime in here; I guess I didn't have lunch), and put those away and decide to make the brownies instead of the cake that I was thinking of making, so I mix up the stuff and put it into the oven and mess around the kitchen until it's done, and then I vacuumed the rooms after dusting them, getting Mrs. Johnson to let me into John's apartment to shower, leaving him a note saying so, and manage to get the chicken into the oven just before 8:10, when "The Volga" comes on, which Azak watches until 9:10, after he arrives at 8:15 with a bottle of wine which is good with the chicken. Move the table into the living room over his protestations, and we talk more about HIM than we talk about his trip (see DIARY 11708). Then get out stuff on Taiwan and Japan and Bangkok, but he's down to 3 weeks and decides on only Japan. He leaves about 12:15 and I watch the VERY end of "On the Road" segment of "Rock Follies," then Monty Python's Flying Circus to 12:40, then the captioned ABC news until 1:20, when I turn on "Bathing Beauty" from 1:20 to 3:15, with one of the more spectacular girls-water curtains-flames-swimming finales ever; COME AGAIN.

DIARY 11709

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 9. Dennis wakes me at 10 with a phone call, and then I go into the living room and there's a note from John that he's having lunch with the Griswolds at Nirvana at 12:30. I try to call Dennis to make sure he has his keys, but his answering service answers. Mrs. Johnson comes up with more stuff for the tub, and it finally works after the third treatment. I don't have time for a shower (NO, this is tomorrow!). I read a few things until 11:45, when I meet John in the hallway to subway to Nirvana, where the elevator is giving trouble and I feel very uncomfortable after a loud grinding sound from one wall at the 8th floor. They arrive at 12:40 and we have Tripti cocktails (mango juice, rosé, and gin, which I'd remembered liking, but THIS time I feel that I wouldn't care for it again). I have the dinner so that they can taste the papad, onion ball, samosa, and tiny puri, and they serve two HUGE pooris with the meal: John brains, me goat, Mack beef, Betsey fish. We sit and chat and laugh and John makes plans for them tomorrow at the Spanish museum, I make plans for "Your Arm's too Short" and the Algonquin with Dennis, and we leave about 3:30. John walks Betsey down to the hotel and shopping, I get over to Argosy with Mack, who finds nothing about Spain, and I buy a $6 "New Model of the Universe" in hardback and FRIDAY see a paper in the Heights bookshop. Get an unlisted Chardin and add two MORE Chardin titles, so that cancels out the getting the Gurdjieff and a Watts. Also buy a $5 copy of "Retrospect" by Huxley, just to have bought it. Home about 5 to see Dennis typing away, and I'm so stuffed that he has to warm up his own chicken and eats until about 8:30. I read mail and talk with him and work on the letters from 7:15 to 7:30, and from 7:45 to 8:30, when he's so horny that we get into bed but the plumber comes and breaks up the EARLIER try, about 6, but the stuff STILL doesn't work! We smoke and have FABULOUS sex until about 10:15, when I really can't get into "Scenes from a Marriage," but I don't shut it off, and watch more TV (for "Rock Follies" chapter) and "Monty Python." Dennis is tired and goes to sleep about 11, and I get to bed about 12:45 so I guess we get involved TALKING about things until we're ready to crawl into bed together again, because I'm quite sure we don't have sex, I don't remember reading, and I wish Dennis were keeping HIS diary, because I could check with HIM, but now I can't. Bed when we get there.

DIARY 11710

THURSDAY, MARCH 10. Wake early 9:30 (?) and have sex, and I'm JUST dressed when Mrs. Johnson buzzes (10:30?) with some more stuff to put down the tub drain, and this at last works. I'm desperate about food and make french toast with english muffins, a ghastly mistake because it's VERY heavy and not terribly tasty, and we put two pieces in the fridge---and the sour cream from Key turns out bad, so we have green beans without anything. Dennis consoles himself that HE sometimes made a lousy meal, too. Arnold calls and read me reviews from "Nights and Days" that make it sound good, so I shave with an electric razor since the shower isn't working yet (NO, it IS, but I didn't have time) and get out at 12:30 to subway to the half-full theater and get programs while Arnie shows up at 1:05. It's a LONG film, but the acting is believable and the MOTHER IS EXACTLY LIKE MOM, which makes it a kick: bitchy, paranoid, contradicting herself in single sentences ("Why isn't he sleeping? He's asleep!"), and hating herself and everyone else. The spectacle is effective, but Arnold manages to sleep through most of it. Wish I knew who the lovely unrequited lover was. Outside for air during the 20-minute intermission, and back in until 5:40, when he reminds me that Malcolm is working at the Big Top (which I don't feel ready for), but he's just replaced at a break and I don't go in. At 6 walk to find no movies on 42nd Street, stop in at the porno shop and glance around until 6:30, look in at another one, then try the one across 42nd at the point, but it's mainly straight until 7, then walk through some of the junk shops seeing just WHAT'S going on (LOUSY stuff!), and get up to 47th at 7:30, having successfully wasted almost 2 hours to sit in the theater and read until Dennis arrives about 8 and we see "American Buffalo" which he likes for the characters and language and which I just HATE (see DIARY 11711). Out at 9:50 and across to the Algonquin to see Betsey seated and reading, and Mack comes down and everyone's charmed by everyone, we order from the buffet by menu (sad affair) and I have cold cuts, he has a GREAT apple pancake with lingonberry preserves, and I end with a tasty "Vicar's Folly" with lemon mousse, cherries, and gin. They insist on paying, we thank them, leave at 12, and come back to talk until 1:30 about the movie before smoking a bit and going to sleep about 2, setting the alarm for 8 am!

DIARY 11713

FRIDAY, MARCH 11. I wake at 7 and doze off till 7:55, when I shut off the alarm and wash my hair and shower and shave, then stick a note under John's door saying we can leave at 8:45. Goodbye to Dennis at 8:40 and John's already waiting, and he has to go to the bank first, so we're at the Algonquin at 9:25. Invited to their room, which is genteelly seedy, and laugh for a bit and get down about 10 to walk to 7th and 42nd, get the N, which does NOT stop at 25th, so we cross at 36th and get the RR back; but all the trains came quickly, so it went well. The ship is QUITE a trip (see DIARY 11712); we have lunch there, and leave about 1:30, since John wants a nap before work. I stop at the bank and buy toothpaste and shampoo and check the bookshop to find nothing except what I'd bought on Wednesday, and get home to find Dennis gone, my machine not on, and mail, which I get rid of, then get into the dishes while listening to music, scour the tub from the shower-crud, and then Dana calls to say that Taffy died on Wednesday, then Dennis calls from Tree to say he'll be here for dinner, then Rick calls from Dennis's to say he'll meet us at the theater, and I get through these 6 pages by 6:35. Put on the ham and chicken to warm for dinner, rather rushed since we're going to a play tonight, and at 7:25 Paul McLean calls from the Vanderbilt YMCA to say he's tired and will sleep this evening, but his brother's coming to town too, so he'll call sometime tomorrow after 9 am. Feeling rather swamped by social obligations. Just miss a subway and the transfer is slow, so Dennis and I get busy inventing a delay of the "8 pm SHARP" curtain at Circle in the Square. Out of the subway at 8:02 and rush to meet Rick, and dash down the stairs to get to our seats before the curtain rises at 8:08, unfortunately, to a VERY ungripping performance (see DIARY 11718). Out just before 11, they want to drink coffee and chat, so we find a place and talk until about 11:45, when Rick goes down to the baths and Dennis and I get home, but I'm quite tired, so we go to sleep without smoking, though Dennis remarks that we have more to talk about in a play that we DISAGREE on than one that we AGREE on. To sleep about 1:30, putting phone by bed.

DIARY 11719

SATURDAY, MARCH 12. Wake earlier than Paul calls at 9:30, but I'm too pooped to do ANY light-work, so there's been almost NONE done this week! He has to stay in to meet his brother, coming up on Metroliner, between 2 and 3 at the Y, so I say he should call me back at 11:30 when Rick finds out about Bruce, who's supposed to call HIM at Dennis's between 10:30 and 11. We have incredible sex, which I write up in reference to the Communication Chasm on DIARY 11714-11716, typing 3 pages for the day, when Rick calls and says Bruce has copped out and he's coming here for brunch. AZAK calls and (no, I guess I call HIM) and suggests that we meet at his place for drinks at 5:30, since he has to leave for a dinner at 7:30, and that's the perfect solution to the problem. Wake Rick at 11:15 to tell him that plan to tell Bruce, and when Paul calls he agrees. Dennis showers and I put things away, and then I shower and shave just as Rick comes in with the projector and 7 films that he doesn't want. I make the hamburger with mushroom sauce for lunch, with a salad that finishes up lots of things, but again things are in a rush and we leave at 1:20 to get to "Cherry Orchard" at Lincoln Center that doesn't live up to its fabulous reviews (see DIARY 11720). That lasts until just before 5, we walk across to 58th and 2nd, getting there JUST before Paul and Dick arrive at the door, JUST before Sonny rings to be let in. Azak had said he couldn't serve exotic drinks, but he doesn't have orange juice, beer, or white wine, so most settle for gin and tonics, and he quickly runs out of ice. Paul and Sonny and Azak talk about Japan, Dick and Dennis strike up a friendship, and everyone's agreeable to eat at Nirvana, so I call them for reservations for 7. Azak kicks us out at 6:45, and we're squeezed into a corner table away from the window, but everyone's impressed with the food and the view, having lobster kurma, goat and brains and I have a GREAT helping of tandoori chicken, and we get various desserts and I share my lassi with everyone. Out about 9, Paul taxis to the Y because he's dropping from sleep, Sonny and Rick and Dick go to Dennis's to change for touring the Anvil, and Dennis and I get home about 10, buying the Times, and looking through it for a bit before Dennis starts working and I watch "Rock Follies," a GREAT series with a GOOD-voiced Julie Covington, from 11 to 4:30 am! Fall into bed feeling not QUITE as exhausted as I did last weekend with "Flash Gordon."

DIARY 11722

SUNDAY, MARCH 13. Dennis gets up to work at 9:30, but I lay there until 10:30, getting at least 6 hours sleep, and get back to the puzzle and the Times. I phone Paul about 1, but he's left; I leave word but he doesn't call back. We don't phone Rick in case he's sleeping, and it turns out he calls on Monday and says he left at 10:30 am, having been refused entry to the Anvil and ending up at the Strap with Sonny and Dick, who enjoys it but refuses any contacts. Watch Camera Three about Circle in the Square, and Ted Mann looks such a dud it's no wonder "Romeo and Juliet" has plodding direction. Rolf calls about 12:30, after I finally ask Dennis if he wants breakfast and he faints from hunger on my shoulder so I make the rest of the bacon and three scrambled eggs each with the rest of the mushrooms, and inspired me to type Knowledge Chasm (see DIARY 11717) as part of the four pages that I type today, followed by the Intricacies of United Asbestos (see DIARY 11721), that I type Monday. About 1:15 Dennis says he's not using his ticket to Trisha Brown today, so I take off for there at 1:40, for a dreadful performance (see DIARY 11723). That's over at 3, so I'm home early, probably type the pages THEN, and Dennis is hugging and nuzzling around, saying he's horny, so about 4 I ztop (HA!) typing and I want to watch the movies, but they're SO dreadful that they really bring me down, and though HE comes with marvelous feeling, I can't quite get into it, and he gets back to work at 5:45. I continue with the VERY rough puzzle, wash dishes, and intend to put up the shelf but don't. Then work on spaghetti and meat sauce for dinner, which we have at 7 while watching a good program on the "Lure of the Dolphins," which even suggests that they might be telepathic, and they're SO highly evolved that THEY might be the leading point of evolution (see DIARY 11724)! Dennis is STILL horny, so we get into sex AGAIN, INCREDIBLE sex which has him shooting all over me in the chair in the living room, and then I shower myself with what feels like about three orgasms, leaving me totally exhausted and vile-smelling. He gets to work at 9:30, I watch a rather boring "Pallisers" from 10 to 11 and a good narrative on the Asmat cannibal tribe of New Guinea with nice cocks and NO cannibalism from 11 to 12, then a Monty Python that I'd seen before, and continue with the Times and the puzzle until 3 am, when Dennis is finally tired enough from working on his index, which sadly he DOESN'T finish on Monday, to go to bed, both without smoking.

DIARY 11725

MONDAY, MARCH 14. Dennis tells me he sets the alarm for 7:30, but it actually rings at 7. He gets up to type; I put in earplugs that work so well I don't even think he IS typing, until I take them out and he really IS. I work VERY nicely with light-work from 9:35 to 10:10, and get up to find that Arnold has called again and wants his drill back, so I'd intended yesterday to use it, so I MUST use it today. Work again on the crossword until I finish it, then have scrambled eggs for breakfast and take down a bag of garbage with the clothes for the laundry, where they don't want to do it today but I insist. Then to D'Agostino's for the great bargains of 89/lb butter and 79/lb bacon and 49/4 rolls of Charmin, with $10 in groceries only so that I can go back before the end of the week to do it again. Home to kiss Dennis a dozen times, and he's neatly finishing off his index typing. Wash dishes again, for what seems like the dozenth time in two weeks, and then after going through the mail for an hour between 1 and 2, I at last start on the drilling and screwing for the shelves, taking until 4:30 to do it, and then take all the stuff I'd wanted to take to Pope and read enough of the Actualism article to realize that I want a copy of the $1 reprint from Matzner's book. He gives me stamps, we chat about Gary, still struggling with friends who want to puncture his enlightenment, and then at 5:20 I get over to Arnold's to say I haven't much time, return the toolkit with a plastic doll's arm that I found on the street sticking grotesquely out of the opening, and get papers and chocolate chip cookies from him. Leave to pick up my laundry and get back home at 6, feeling very tired. Had put in the shoulder roast at 4:30, so I took it out at 6:30, make peas, and we ate. Went through cutting lines from Dennis's index (95 too long, which went fast) until 7:25, when I left for Actualism, buying the Matzner reprint, and getting a GREAT surprise when they talk of the Cosmic MOTHER when Mom's supposed to visit THIS WEEK. Itchy during the session (see DIARY 11726) and out at 10 to buy the wrong red wine and type 4 pages between 10:45 and 12:15 while answering Dennis's questions on cutting. To bed to smoke and talk a bit before Dennis takes the alarm to his side of the bed at 1 am, setting it for 7:45.

DIARY 11728

TUESDAY, MARCH 15. Dennis shuts off the alarm at 7:45 and lays until 8, then crawls out of bed, ignoring my hand under his chest, and I get up at 8:10 to start putting away the laundry from yesterday, then make scrambled eggs when I'd INTENDED to say "What do you think about soft-boiled eggs?" and some of the new bacon, which is cut VERY thinly. We eat, talk, and I put away the games that had been atop my bookcase, and then he leaves for Tree via Harper and Row about 9:30. I start typing, then call Arnold at 10 and talk until 11:30 about various movies, TV shows, and New School films, cartoons, and meetings. Then George Allen calls to ask for names for freelance work and WE chat for about 20 minutes, and then I call Actualism and leave word to call; finish typing these four pages by 12:20 pm, caught up at LAST and ready for letter-writing. Then I water the plants, get the work-outline from Actualism, exercise and determine to keep up with it, go down for the mail and read it, get a call from Bob Rosinek about tomorrow, have lunch while reading "Imperial Earth" and get so into it that I FINISH it by 2:50 and can't resist updating the pages THEN. Actually DO work on the letters, and write THREE drafts easily in the hour, between 3 and 4, but that's going so well I take the time off to watch "The Magic Christian" on TV, and I'd forgotten what a hoot it was, particularly all the references to perversity: my sisters and I have tried to have a son, independently, of course; I love him, like a son, of course; I'm Leslie Faggott, let me take care of your problems; and the two world heavyweight boxers who kiss, the Hamlet of Lawrence Harvey who does a strip of jockstrap, and the black and white muscle builders who do a simpery ballet and dance together cheek-to-cheek. That goes from 4 to 6, and I eat brownies during it and get either a GRASS high or a SUGAR high, but I can't resist seeing the rest of the movies and jerking off with them until 7:40, when Dennis calls, and then I watch "La Boheme" on TV from 8 to 11, not liking it much (see DIARY 11731), then sit on for "The Eleanor Roosevelt Story," and it DOES make her out to have been a sainted sovereign power with a VERY sad childhood and a PERFECT marriage from 11:30-1, and then some Laurel and Hardy clips until 1:30, and I smoke and get to sleep at 1:40, feeling pretty good and lousy at the same time.

DIARY 11732

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 16. Wake about 7:30 and then again about 8:30. Try to get into light-work, but my mind's busy working on the fact that I simply can't write normally (see DIARY 11729) and the fact that I'm thinking about writing again (see DIARY 11730), so at 8:50 I get out of bed and start typing these pages, then call Lauren who quickly returns my call and begs for a constant rate of input for CHECKING, and I promise my first ten tomorrow, so I NOW MUST get to work, and I've finished my HABITUAL four pages for the day by 9:50. Then get back to the letters and work steadily from 10 to 2:30, finally INTO it now that I've made my commitment. Then I'm hungry, so I'm down for the mail and eat tuna salad for lunch, phone Mary Hughes after getting her number from the Lord and Taylor's Ask Mr. Foster office's Darka, an odd name, and get back to letters from 3:15 to 6:30, finishing 9 short ones, to my pleasure, then shower and shave and get back to the 10th letter from 7 to 7:45. Also turned on what was supposed to be "Dante's Inferno" at 5:30 to watch the inferno, but got something with Spencer Tracy and Claire Trevor and the S.S. Paradise, and it occurred to me that this is the END of that film! Then try to phone Dennis to say I'll be there somewhat after the 8 that I'd planned, but he's on the service, so I leave, get up to 96th to order the pizza, buy a quart of Coke for BobR, and then schlep the Coke and pizza down 7 blocks and up three flights of stairs to hear the water running in the toilet, Dennis just STARTING on dinner, and BobR in his underwear presenting me with my Christmas present: a pyramid! Then he shows a lot of duplicated-set Colt photos and drawings, 4 cock pipes, a leather whipping strap, a dirty record, and a cock ring for Dennis, which he puts on personally. Dennis asks me to make the salad, which I do, of spinach leaves, mushrooms, cucumber, and crumpled bacon, and he's working on some dessert with fried bananas under something with cream cheese and brown sugar. Bob's desperate to get started, I'm annoyed with Dennis for being late, and I admit it when he asks, and we get into a VERY strange evening (see DIARY 11733) and an even STRANGER discussion afterward (see DIARY 11734), and get to bed at 2 am.

DIARY 11737

THURSDAY, MARCH 17. Alarm rings at 8 and I have insights about guilt and Actualism (see DIARY 11735) and talk to Dennis about them. He sits, dizzy as if hung over, and then makes hamburger for his lunch and our breakfasts with quick-boiled spinach which is great. He leaves about 10:30 and I proofread from 10:30 to 11 and then call Lauren, but she's not due back until 1. So I settle down and read two back issues of New Yorker, particularly a two-part article in the March 7 and March 14 issues about a reporter in China, and maybe THAT is the next step in evolution (see DIARY 11738). Then phone Lauren at 1:30 and leave word that I'll be there at 2:30, and phone Don Maloof, Bob Grossman (but the line is busy), and Art Ostrin and talk until 2:15. Then out and down to McGraw-Hill to Lauren, who seems to like what I've done so far, saying "Of COURSE it's all formula writing." Talk to her about ballet until about 3, then home to phone Joan Sumner and Bob Grossman, talking a lot to them, read the mail, and Mary Hughes calls back about a $481 roundtrip SF-Tokyo for members of a club for 6 months. I do some clerical work with the letters I'd written, Dennis calls to ask that the evening hang loose, and I finish typing SIX diary pages by 6:10 pm, feeling achy. Put on the roast to heat, but decide to leave it until 7 for Monty Python, so I sit down from 6:30 to 7 and try to type some more letters, but just hit a dreadful blank that produces 9 lines in the half hour. Then put on Python at 6:58 to find that it has started at 6:55, so I just sit and watch that, then try to get back to typing but can't go any farther, so I warm up beans for dinner and from 8-9 watch a rather dull program about Ronald Amundsen on "Ten Who Dared," with an overly melodramatic Anthony Quinn and people speaking in Norwegian, but it was NOT filmed in Antarctica at ALL. Then turn on a World Junior Lightweight Boxing Championship in which Alfred Escalera retains his championship over 32-year-old father-of-seven from Baltimore Ronnie McGarvey. Then sit while I eat and eat to watch Jimmy Young outpoint George Foreman to become a contender (like "Rocky," the movie) from Philadelphia. That's over at 11:10 and I smoke and get into porno and jerk off very nicely about 11:30, then Arnie phones at 11:45 to tell me about the tickets he's gotten me for the Bejart, and then I'm up to watch TV from 12 to 12:30 wasting time EATING more (see DIARY 11739) until "Killdozer" to 2:20, not QUITE Sturgeon's story.

DIARY 11740

FRIDAY, MARCH 18. Wake about 9, so it seems I needed the sleep, and then start light-work about 10, being interrupted by a call from Azak who wants the address of the club to Japan for $481, and work until about 10:50, when I get up and EXERCISE, to my delight, and then put on records and wash the dishes after eating breakfast, and phone Arnie and talk for half an hour saying I'll bring over his $65 in check, and type these two pages by 1 pm. SNOWING out! Then over to Arnie's and read his New Yorker while he talks on the phone, get the six tickets for Bejart, and then he wants to go out with me so we check records at the library, I find no good-priced vitamin C at Rexall's, he finds no batteries at the photo shop, I find no books at the bookshop, he goes east to buy batteries and I go west to the supermarket, where I meet him and can't give him enough groceries so that he can get bargains with $7.50 worth of other purchases. Home about 3, wondering where the time has gone. I make a phone call to Actualism and record that on DIARY 11741, then read the mail and do other things until I finally clear the deck for working on the letters from 5:25 to 6:15, when I stop and shower and shave, and then from 6:45 to 7, using the good ideas for letters I got while washing dishes this morning. Then watch a new Monty Python from 7 to 7:25 and meet Dennis at 8 at A Touch of Love, a Thai restaurant on Thompson between Bleecker and 3rd, and the carrot salad is very hot, his shrimps with 8 vegetables was noteworthy ONLY for the tasty broccoli, celery, corn, peapods, and four other vegetables of perfect crunch and taste, while my pork with black mushrooms smelled like rotten baby flesh with spicy bamboo shoots that were almost tasteless and comprised most of the meal. Leave about 9:10 and buy $5.50 tickets for admission and have a $2.50 gin and tonic for Herbie Mann and the family of Mann (see DIARY 11742), which was pretty good. Out at 11:45 with a program and walk across to Christopher Street where we meet Sheamus Murphy on the subway (he'd met someone he knew in the restaurant AND on the street LATER, too) and chat, and get to his place to smoke and get into a 69 that goes and goes with MARVELOUS feeling on both sides until he's determined to suck me off, and HE DOES, with enormous feeling on both our parts, and then he jerks himself off on my chest and we get to bed about 2 am, feeling just fabulous!

DIARY 11743

SATURDAY, MARCH 19. We wake about 9:15 and I try a bit of light-work before it dawns on me that Dennis's playing with himself. Again we get into his hard cock and he gets into mine, and this time he rolls to the side and works me over until I'm pleading "Slow, slow," and then he bears down so that I have to gasp "Not on the head, not on the head!" as he continued to bear down on the head, and these have been the two most great orgasms in less than 10 hours EVER. He comes using my juice, straining upward from his supine position, and lets fly a jet that hits my armpit. We lie, grateful, together, and then he's up to shower while I read Friday's Times, and then panic as I see that it's noon, and he angrily says that we'll be out of here by 12:30. Delicious omelets of cheese and mushrooms with rye toast, and we're down to get momentarily stuck on the subway and check what's on the board, but it's such a long line we don't even think of waiting. No Mom at the Piccadilly Hotel, and at 1:10 I phone John to get my keys from Mrs. Johnson and check my machine, but there's no message there, and we're back to the lobby to see her coming down the steps. She's exhausted from the trip, had been to the top of the RCA building but missed the movie which would have taken until 5, so she doesn't care to see Nirvana, so we subway to my place and she has some corned beef while Dennis and I chat and watch, and then she wants to take a nap. Dennis starts back on his diary while I edit letters from 3:30 to 5:40, just about ready to get to typing when Mom wakes, feeling better after sleeping, but now hungry. We decide on the Bilqis, which she likes the look of, but orders the sliced beefsteak which she says is peppery, so I finish it with potatoes that are poor, and she finished my excellent veal Bilqis with their great egg-batter breading and rice, and Dennis finds his kibbee cakes with pine nuts rather dry. Mom's mousse for dessert is good, as is Dennis's unhoneyed baklava and my ENORMOUSLY apricoty crepe. With a large carafe of wine the bill's only $22, which is fine, and I buy the Times, Dennis leaves for home, and we stroll down to see the Promenade at night, then back to my place for her to talk while I read the Times and she takes the androgeny test (see DIARY 11744). Thank goodness she says she's tired about 11 pm, so she's in bed at 11:45 and I read a bit in "Murder of the Frogs" and get to sleep at 12 while doing light-work.

DIARY 11745

SUNDAY, MARCH 20. I wake about 8 and doze on and off doing light-work, and then she comes to the door asking to be let in at 9:15, saying she's slept well and decided to go back this morning. I shower and shave while she types up three letters for me for McGraw-Hill, praising my typewriter to the skies, and then we eat at 10: soft-boiled eggs and raisin toast, also a hit, and I make her a corned beef sandwich for the bus before their stop at 8 and 9, and she packs, I put away the bedclothes, and she insists we leave at 10:45. I hold the subway door open for her as it's IN the station when I run down the stairs, and feel triumphant, reading while she shouts to me over the subway noises. To the hotel at 11:15, meeting the driver and the guide on the streets, and then she looks at Schubert Alley and talks a bit about being more reconciled to my being gay, saying that Dennis IS charming, as though it comes out reluctantly. The bus starts at 11:45 and she climbs on with the pillow I gave her, I wave to her, and return to the subway with ENORMOUS relief. Home about 12:30 and finish the crossword puzzles and phone Arnie and Dennis and get RETURN calls from Arnie, Dennis, and Mom. Have lunch about 2:30, still reading the Times; it's snowing out heavily. Cut and replace Sundays in the right place on the calendar and type 4 pages by 4:10 pm. Then work on letters from about 4:15 to 5:30, when I notice the ad that I want to respond to from today's Times, and then write an answer to "British History Illustrated" from way back on January 4th, and finally exercise for the first time in ages at the second level. Feeling pretty good doing it. Get things together to take out, wash face but don't shower, and leave at 6:25 to take a tape to Arnie to borrow Ives' "Variations on America" and get two subway transfers and a card to mail, then subway quickly up to Barnard, getting tickets at 7:10 and then stand and read, watching the crowd gather, and Dennis enters at 7:30 and we chat and then Merce Cunningham starts at 8:10 and it's so awful we leave about 9:10 (see DIARY 11746). Walk down to Theo's at 9:45 after having a slice of pizza, and he lives in a NICE place, where I hear fragments of an interview with Bejart on WNCN until 11, when Dennis says we should leave. Kissing goodbye gets Theo hard, but Dennis is tired and hungry and we get to his place about 12, he cooks spaghetti and says I should call him and see him myself, we smoke, start sex about 1, he comes and I don't. Bed 2:20!

DIARY 11747

MONDAY, MARCH 21. I wake about 8:45 and hum through light-work until about 10:20, when Dennis wakes and fumbles for my watch. Then he's hard and I'm hard and he hands me off magnificently and then he comes on my chest in an incredible stop-motion come that dazzles us. Then it's 11:20 and we're up to have breakfast and I tote my shopping bag with goodies from Bob back at 12:05, getting in to read the mail, then sort through all the pictures he gave me and put them away, read the instructions for the pyramid and put my razor underneath, and then phone Bob Rosinek who may NOT have the time (and I created it?) for me on Wednesday evening here, but he had a GREAT time on last Wednesday, despite me; Lauren Bahr, who's out for the day, so I leave a message for her to call me so that I can MAIL the stuff tomorrow, hopefully, and finally get in touch with Michael, getting his temporary home-with-a-friend number until the end of the month, and phone the post office to find that my PO box application said "No such number" for some reason. Decide it's time to make a new DO list (see DIARY 91102) and finish only 2 pages by 3:50 pm: LATE. Type out the new do list and exercise, too. Mail out a few things and then work on the letters from 4:05 to 6:20, not getting nearly as far as I'd thought; problems with syllabic intensities on the longer ones DO take quite a while. Then shower and shave, have lunch of toasted corned beef sandwiches at 6:30, finishing up another New York, and then putter around dressing and shaving the hairs from my nose until I leave at 7:30 for Actualism. Get there just about on the dot of 8 and get into the next suite, 1614, for a counseling session with Bruce and Jan (see DIARY 11748) until 8:50. Out debating their edict on marijuana and get to Dennis's at 9:15 and tell him about it, which depresses him and me and the whole evening. Turn on TV JUST as the AFI awards program to Bette Davis starts, and the speeches are rather fulsome (particularly Olivia deHavilland's: she seems incapable of uttering a sincere word), but the shots from her 40+ films of the 80 she's done (with 75 saved at AFI) are quite impressive. That's over at 10 and Dennis is still fussing with dinner, which doesn't please hungry Louise, so I read articles in New Yorker until it's finished at 12:15 (I'd persuaded him to let me have a chicken leg) and it's VERY good, quite worth the wait. We finish at 1, still talking, and then get to bed to toss about a bit without grass before drifting off to sleep something like 1:30, waking a few more times.

DIARY 11751

TUESDAY, MARCH 22. Radio plays at 7:15 at a listenable level and I hear Gambling talking about weather and traffic and news, and then the alarm burrs at 7:30, waking Dennis at last, and he returns to bed and we cuddle until about 8:15, when he insists on getting up, making coffee, showering, and I'm up about 9:15 to have his GREAT breakfast of home fries, scrambled eggs with scallions, great zucchini, and honey-berry bread toast. Out at 9:45 to a jammed subway that pisses me off enormously: WHEN are the mousy passengers going to REVOLT against the stupidity of cutting THAT service? Home at 10:15 to read the mail, find that I've today gotten the LAST of the mailings that I did from "After Dark," then finish "The Murder of the Frogs," the stories getting better and better as he went along, and then read "The Truth about Atlantis," which strikes me as rather overblown and silly, and then call Lauren (who'd called before 10:15) at 11:45 to find she's at a meeting, so I leave word, then clear up stuff from the apartment, send out three pieces of mail, and type 4 to 12:50 pm! Back to the letters from 12:55 to 2:25, during which time Lauren calls and says that I may mail them in: she hasn't looked at the others yet. Then stop for lunch, reading New York, then wash dishes, listening to the radio, and back to the letters from 3:05 to 6:05, doing nicely, but at that point I remember that Dennis is coming to eat before going to "The New York Idea" at BAM at 8 tonight, so I sauté onions and boil oiled water for noodles and fry much too much hamburger in golden mushroom soup, which doesn't work, for his arrival at 6:40. At 6:45 Marty calls with a free ticket to "Tosca" tonight, and I decide to take it. Rush through dinner, not very good, and leave Dennis with my keys (and I get pissed at him because he didn't bring his AGAIN) and get out at 7:15 to start reading a VERY Actualism-prone "The Undying Fire" by Wells (which then gets into MUCH more boring stuff on education) and meet Marty at the box office at 7:55, just as he'd left my ticket with the last usher at the door. The performance isn't very good (see DIARY 11752), but the production is new and it's good enough for free. Home at 11:20 and have Portuguese gruyere from Cheeselovers with apples and wine, then get into bed at 12 and have another long talk with Dennis about grass (see DIARY 11753) and kiss and start into it and HE comes with a touchless come on my chest that I finish in my mouth, to his delight, and we drop off to sleep right away at 1:20.

DIARY 11754

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 23. Alarm rings at 8 and we cuddle, start jerking off, and I come with a bit of straining, but he seems to like it, and then he plays with himself for a long time, hard and oozing, but not coming, and then at 9:15 looks regretfully at the clock and gets into the shower, which stops up more than usually. I broil bacon and scramble good eggs for breakfast and he goes off without re-warming or taking his hamburger-noodle dish, about 10:15. I water plants and fill humidifier and look up the Tosca files and settle down to type these four pages, again much too late, by 11:55, calling IBM repairman. Letters again from 11:55 to 2:55, finishing the second batch of 12 just as the repairman calls back and says he'll be here tomorrow. I get laundry together and get out about 3:05 to put in laundry, buy a birthday card for Arnold, then shop for vitamin C and find 1000 500mg capsules for $9.95, 500 personal envelopes for $3.50, and 500 business envelopes for $4.50, all FABULOUS buys, at the discount place down Court almost to Atlantic [Barney's], and buy two more reams of second sheets for $4 from 66 Court. All loaded up, get to the post office to mail the stuff to Lauren, and check that my application for a box got "no such number" on 1/27/77, so I waited about 2 months too long to check my application from October. Back home just before 4 with the mail, read that while heating up the roast beef, and Carolyn Quinn calls to get the manuscript from book 4 for her work, saying she's going to send a messenger tomorrow. I'm eating, reading "The Undying Fire," when I jolt a look at the clock and find that it's EXACTLY 4:30, and go in to watch "The Cosmic Awareness of Duffy Moon," a cute thing with a GREAT kid with chest muscles ALREADY named I THINK Eisenman, who looks like a VERY young Schwarzenegger. Lance Kerwin, who played Duffy Moon, is natural and sweet, too. Then watch the start of "Nunu and the Zebra" which is boring, so I get back to the letters, writing 12 new ones from 5:55 to 8:55, when I finish working to watch The Dance Theatre of Harlem on TV from 9 to 10 (see DIARY 11755), which is very good. Rolf calls at 9:50 and I call him back at 10, and he talks till 11:30 (see DIARY 11756) about United Asbestos. Get to bed, get out porno, get two wrong number calls about midnight which breaks my stride on jerking off, but I come about 12:30, do light-work until 1, then DON'T feel like sleeping because I'm so HUNGRY, so I have a bowl of cereal and about 3 brownies and finish "Undying Fire" by 2 (see DIARY 11757).

DIARY 11759

THURSDAY, MARCH 24. Wake with rather a jolt at 8:45, realizing that both repairman and messenger are coming early, and I'm up puffy-faced after only 6.5 hours in a night when I thought I'd catch up. Get to typing a bit, but then call Larry Price about 9:30 and talk to him at length as with Rolf (see DIARY 11756), deliver the manuscript of book 4 to the messenger about 10:15, type more, down for the mail at 11, then the repairman comes about 11:30 and I read the mail as he fixes it. Arnold calls, and gets my card as he talks to me, and lots of the morning was spent skimming "Jeremy's Version" so that I could get started back on "The House of the Solitary Maggot" from the same series. Breakfast of cereal. Then I'm working on a fixed typewriter and do 5 by 12:45. To letters from 12:45 to 4:05, editing a lot and stretching them out to fill the longer slots, and then devout roast beef to have something to eat, and Larry phones that I bought 500 for 1, so I phone Rolf and talk to him, then get back to work from 4:55 to 5:55, finishing the editing of 7 of them, and then shower and wash my hair and shave and wash my socks, and PRESTO it's 7 pm. Phone Michael just at a guess at work, and he's moving into a new place by Monday on E. 91st St. with a roommate in two bedrooms for only $225/month AND he said that the only LEGAL rent raise is 18%!! Say I have to dash at 7:25, get on subway at 7:50 and get to 57th to wait 10 minutes for wine to cool, and get to Azak's at 8:30, to find Renee Helfer already in deep conversation with Dennis, Azak fussing about the oven's not working, and he HATES Gallo Rhinegarten, saying that "the French wines have been educated NOT to taste of fruit." Then we have a FABULOUS dish of prosciutto cooked around endive with a LUSH cream sauce, with tender tasty Turkish rice on the side, having started with a garlicky artichoke and tomatoes and ending with a watercress and ARUGULA (at LAST!) salad which is great, and ending with Spanish melon with lemon. He offers Columbian grass in a white clay pipe, so everyone but Renee takes it, and Dennis and I decide she's remarkable but we really don't LIKE her (Dennis for the lovely reason that she didn't LISTEN to me when I had something to say), though she might be interested in showing us the Lehman wing on Sunday afternoon. BMT to my place to finish up the hash brownies ALL THE WAY, and then he gets into his cock and comes BEAUTIFULLY and we get to sleep about 1:30, rather stoned-out from the evening.

DIARY 11760

FRIDAY, MARCH 25. Alarm rings at 8 and Dennis is up at 8:10 to shower and shave, and I cook up the last zucchini and meat for breakfast with a muffin, and he says that's just fine. He's waiting for a tryout at 11 so we sit and chat for a bit, but he's hard again, so we're into the sunny bedroom and I'm VERY hard and he's into HIS cock, so he sucks and I suck and he comes on my chest and I use his come to stroke my ROCKY cock until I let it go enough to come for days, really whacked out still from last night, I guess, and he leaves about 10:30, both of us joyous. Then I make the bed, water the plants, and decide to see what performances await me, so I make reservations for Musawwir tonight and Kathy Posin on Thursday, call IBM to find that the minimum ribbon order is 12/year for $32.60, which is JUST about what I pay for my own, and then I get into sorting through the stuff piled on all my shelves in front of the desk, and set up another system of immediate filing which should be great: Quality paperback, Actualism, Restaurants to visit, Places to go, and To Be Filed for miscellaneous. Sort through letters to write, then go through the top desk drawer and throw out LOTS of stuff, and end up feeling VERY good about it. Art calls and might meet us tonight, so I call Dennis at 2:30 to tell him how productive the day has been and type 1 page by 2:40. Settle into editing more letters until it becomes clear that I won't be able to finish them all this evening and take them to be mailed. So I stop editing at 11 letters and start typing, but Dennis calls to say that he wants Art to go to HIS place for dinner, and Art calls to say OK, but he'll get in touch with Dennis, and there may be another call from somewhere, but by 7:10 it's clear that I've only typed 9 of the ones that I have to do, so I put them into my pocket to mail from Dennis's and don't even shower, but look for a good way to go and catch the IRT to Park Place and THEN the A, which takes a long time, but an AA catches up with us and I get out of the subway at 8:05, I guess from his shouts that I pushed a fellow in front of me with a sore foot, but as he's cussing at ME a woman BEHIND us turns and berates him, saying that she HEARS it, and he should STOP! Funny! "Musawwir Gymnastic Dance Company" is amusing at Walden School from 8:15 to 10, then I walk to Dennis's to find that Art had called and he has to REHEARSE, and Dennis has baked two loaves of bread and cooked a FABULOUS cream/ chicken puréed/ almonds puréed/ watercress soup, bed 1:10 sans sex!

DIARY 11762

SATURDAY, MARCH 26. We're awake about 10:20 and I can't get into light-work, so we must have BOTH been tired, and we get into cock and we're both very hard, but he's super, super, super, and he comes on my chest and I again delay my coming, and he even makes a joke, "It IS the morning!" Then he gets my watch and I ask what time it is. He says "What time do you think?" And I say, "About 11" and he says "That's disgusting" and hands me the watch in about 10 seconds and it's 20 seconds after 11, EXACTLY. I laugh and laugh and laugh. He showers, I browse through "Town and Country," which is REALLY quite a book, but that's AFTER I proofread the letters that I'd brought along from 11:10 to 12:10. Then HE works on a FABULOUS breakfast of DELICIOUS omelet and cheese and scallions, more zucchini, and just FABULOUS home fries, saying it's one of his favorites. We're finished about 1:10, but he wants to do some things so we can't walk down to the Uris, and I read more in "Town and Country" and New Yorker and we leave about 1:25 and have one subway PASS us for some reason and then we're to the Uris for long lines at the box office and up to our DEAD center seats for $12.50 for an AWFUL beginning but a FINE ending (see DIARY 11763). Out at 4:10 and stand in line about 30 minutes to pick up tickets for Sunday afternoon, getting a $10 pair when I SAID we'd get at $10 pair! More stuff for the coincidence sheet. And the coincidence that we met Azak there is nice, too. But he has a brunch the next day so we're not going to the Metropolitan with him and Renee. I debate seeing "Mohammed" but Dennis gets pissed and says I should work on my letters, so I get home about 5:20, wash dishes, put my socks away, finish moving my books so that I have 30, 30, 30, and the REST on a shelf-set for those I have yet to read, check that "Star Trek" is a duplicate and then watch "Space 1999," shower and shave, and don't even have time to type anything in diary before it's time to subway to meet Dennis on the corner of 96th and Broadway at 9:20. I'm VERY pissed at the gates at 96th being locked except for ONE, and THAT has three of the four turnstiles closed. What IS this? Stand on the corner and fume until he arrives at 9:20, and we're down the street to Peter Brown's for Dakota Staton and food, not the best (see DIARY 11764) and out about 11:30 to see a diner he loves, like Hopper, and then buy the Times and read a lot of it until 1:10, when AGAIN I'm tired, so I'm in bed while he's finishing up a few things, and we barely chat and I have trouble sleeping: radio ON below!

DIARY 11765

SUNDAY, MARCH 27. He's up and out of bed at 10, making coffee, showering, and just takes the last bit of shaving lather off at 10:50 when his folks call, and I'm up and dressing and moving around at that time. Look through more of the Times, and then he suggests that we see "Mefistofeles," but since I don't have my binoculars, I say that we have to get something front and center of the orchestra. He makes scrambled eggs that we have with his new bread, and then he hurries and I get ready and then he dawdles, but we get out about 12:10 and walk down through Riverside, rather behind the bright yellow forsythias that are out, but only a FEW bushes are even a color that could be called GREEN. Walk quickly and find that the performance is sold out, so he stands in the cancellation line and I search for people selling, but as I'm going back toward him in defeat, he's paying someone $25 for two seats in the third row, 10 in from the side, just on a line with the left curtain-line---he created it and it's FABULOUS. In at 12:45 and he goes to the john, Rudel appears, and we have a FABULOUS performance (see DIARY 11766). Out at 4 and subway home to put things away and fix things up and type 4 pages of the diary, and then Arnie calls, I think to check with him about "Star Trek" and it's the ONLY ONE I HAVEN'T SEEN, so I try to get Joe Farinas, but he's not home, so I shower and shave and cook the rotting steak from LAST Friday's shopping trip, and have that during "Patterns of Force" the last of the 79 "Star Treks," but have to leave at 7:30 for the theater, having called Dennis but he's not answering his phone. Get there just at 8 and dash up the stairs to find Dennis dashing up the stairs ahead of me, but it doesn't start until 8:10 and is over at 10:40, not the most successful evening (see DIARY 11767). Full weekend, with lots of thoughts about the mysteries of cycles (see DIARY 11768). He consents to come to my place, so I have to buy half-and-half and eggs at the market, and we're into bed and I suggest we smoke, having thought a lot about that TOO (see DIARY 11769). So we do, he's delighted, and I get him up by sucking on him, come up, he comes on my chest and gets into an INCREDIBLE bathing-of-cock with his come, then starts handing me off, but I reach down and come to an INCREDIBLE orgasm (see DIARY 11770), and then we're into the kitchen for peaches and cream cheese and a muffin with cream cheese and jelly, and VERY happy and sated in ALL ways to bed and sleep at 1.