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1977 7 of 11

DIARY 12074

MONDAY, JUNE 27. Wake with a strange dream about 4 lovers (see DIARY 12063) at 8:30, and Dennis makes coffee and we turn on Joe Franklin at 9 to find he has lots of people on before Joan, so I wash dishes and then watch her ONE speech just at the end of the tape. Then we have breakfast until about 10:30. I get to typing 8 pages, but then figure that if I do everything I have to do today, I'd better stop, even though I'm only up to last Tuesday and wanted to be farther ahead today. Do light-work for an hour, the easiest yet for the last one of this cycle, then water plants, exercise for the second time, feeling a gentle tug at the backs of the legs from having been away from it so long, and then shower and shave and have hamburger and get out about 4:15 to Jerzy Kwalerowicz's "Pharaoh," "The Most Accurated and Colossal Portrayal of Ancient Egypt Ever!" had a muscular, cute George Zelnik as Ramses XIII (sic---though EB said that Ramses XI was the last, "shadowy" king of the 20th dynasty, whose crown was assumed by Herihor, his general, in Thebes around 1085 BC. Cama was played by Barbara Bryl in a transparent nightie, and it got good reviews in Cannes in 1966, so, in fact, nothing HAS happened to the pretty George Zelnik in the last 11 years. But it was hardly spectacular, except for Zelnik's belly, and I even moved away from a dangling wrist in the row in front of my last row at the Thalia. Out at 7:15 and walk down CPW, AGAIN being smitten by passing beauty (see DIARY 12075), and get to the Olcott early to wash my face and hands and urinate in the john downstairs. Class is predictable (see DIARY 12076), but we're moving to Wednesdays. Out at 10:15 and walk Michael and Dorothy to their new place on 75th, he giving me the clue that I expect Actualism body-work to be done TO me, rather than working along with it, and I buy $9.76 Marie Brizard Apry for Dennis and me, and sip it while he's working on banana bread and dinner, which we eat until 12:20, and then he smokes and we get into NICE 69, both sucking like crazy, and then he comes quickly on my chest and I work away and work away and WORK away at my cock in a puzzling frenzy (see DIARY 12077), and we flop exhausted into a humid bed, since he turned off the air conditioner at my request and didn't turn it back on, at 1:35.

DIARY 12078

TUESDAY, JUNE 28. We're awake horny enough to both of us jerk off again, he getting the popper, me laying on the cushions and coming quickly, he taking a nice long time. Then he dawdles getting breakfast until the man who's installing the intercom comes in at 9:45 and drills while we eat breakfast, and I try phoning Art for about the third time to say we want tickets for "Threepenny" for Sunday. Leave and 10:30 and debate going down book-hunting before going to the Quad, but luckily I check my wallet and find that I've left my booklist in the pile of things to be typed. Home to get a call from Bob Rosinek for a long while (actually, this was yesterday, since he told me I had to read "Tales of Power" in the desert, and blanched when Rebekah says SHE was going to the desert to train with Actualism during their 10-day stay there), type some pages, and then get out at 12:55 to see the 1:30 showing of "Wizards," and actually take a quarter-tab of mescaline beforehand (see DIARY 12079). "Wizards" isn't super, but it's fun, and some of the muscled monsters in the final battle are sexy. "Phantom of the Paradise" is really QUITE good, but I can't tell if my feelings are from the movie or from the mescaline. Home about 5 to vent my current feeling in Around and Around Again (see DIARY 12060-12061A), and finish the day in marvelous style by typing 15 pages in all, a real feel-good coup. Then phone Pope, who wants me to come over for Scrabble when I say it's possible, and I get there at 8:30 returning his aura goggles, asking him for the Alphaphones (and he calls the next day to say he has them OUT), showing him one of my films, which he sort of likes, seeing the porno film of the gay he walked next to in the parade, and getting a film that he doesn't care for from him---and winning two Scrabble games. Home at 12 after a rain has cleared off the streets, and talk to Art Ostrin from 12 to 12:15, then (oh, and I exercised before going to Pope's, smelling highly) shampoo and shower to 12:45, and do VERY uncomfortable light-work until 12:52.5, almost dozing off, yet happy about getting it DONE, and then finish reading "The Star Diaries" by 2:40, drinking water because I haven't eaten, falling instantly and very comfortably to sleep, a relief, since I'd been debating coming when returning from the movie, when returning from Pope's, and after the shower, so it was nice NOT to come at all.

DIARY 12084

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 29. Up at 8:50 and jot down the two notes for dreams that I had and remembered vividly (see DIARY 12083), and then water plants and put things away from last night and exercise for the fourth straight day, feeling good about that. Then phone Joan and talk about her show and she wants me and Dennis to write to Joe Franklin to have her back on, and phone Susan and leave word for her to call me. Drink some water for breakfast, feeling good about my low food intake, and get to typing thoughts that I had about the problem of beauty again (see DIARY 12075), type the Actualism sheet for lesson 2, and continue typing. Phone the Bleecker Street Cinema for the movie schedule and decide to go tomorrow. Phone Rolf about going to "Threepenny," and he talks about an hour about Rouse's book on the "Gay in History," and then I read all the EB articles about Frederick the Great and Freemasonry (which I flip past, and coincidentally Frederick the Great's article AND the Freemasonry article says he was one, too), Pope calls about getting out Alphaphones, gripes about TM levitators, and phones me later to report on talking to Mr. Wynn about it. Continue typing, have some tuna fish for lunch, and then call Susan, who hasn't ordered my books yet, and then call Bruce Lieber (see DIARY 12082) about Actualism and about narrowing questions of importance (see DIARY 12081), and continue typing until I finish these 10 pages by 4:35, feeling GREAT to have finished catching up on the diary at LAST since June 7. Dennis calls to remind me to bring his binoculars that he's left at my place. I finish a few other things and sit down to my hour of light-work from about 5:30 to 6:30, taking a LONG time to get started and fidgeting about how late it's getting to be, and then put hamburgers on to broil while I take a shower and shave, and then gobble down hamburger between 7:10 and 7:15 and dash out for perfect subway connections that puts me in my seat about 7:50, before Dennis gets there. The program of solo pianos is not one of the best (see DIARY 12086), but the audience is interesting through binoculars and I enjoy it in sum. Out at 10:40 and persuade him to come to my place, and after washing, he lies on the bed and starts playing with himself, and finally we both come nicely and get to sleep about 1:30 am.

DIARY 12087

THURSDAY, JUNE 30. Wake about 8:30, groggy, and Dennis gets up for coffee and moves around until he showers about 9:30, and I'm making good omelets and bacon for breakfast with a nice dessert of blueberries and cream that leads me to get out my Delft plate to see the agreement of colors. He leaves about 11:00 after talking to John Connolly, who's going to be out of town on July 4, and I'd called Paul Bosten for "Threepenny" and he's having a cook-out, and Dennis balks when asked to invite Theo. Dennis buzzes that the mail is here, and I spend about an hour looking through the Edmond Scientific catalog, the generally cheaper American Science Center catalog, and the catalogs of the books that came with my Wyndham book, which sadly announced ANOTHER Wyndham collection of stories that I don't think I have. Do light-work with even MORE resistance from 12:30 to 1:30 and then Dennis calls to say Marty'll be coming to the party about 7:45 and I say I'll be there about 6, movie leaving out at 5:45. Then feel like coming, and want to look through porno for picture of arch-browed cutie from "Vanities," and use rubber bands and poppers but can't quite come up, so in retribution I come without touching, very limp and quite unfeeling, and then in retribution for THAT come AGAIN in a few minutes, getting VERY bound in the legs and VERY sweaty, finishing at 2:30. In for a quick shower, dress, and get out at 2:50 for the A train, which thankfully comes quickly, and I even have time for a slice of pizza that gives me think-time to discover I'll be getting out more like 8 than 6 pm, and phone Dennis who says he's disappointed, and that preys on my mind during "The Touch," which is heavy enough so that I request the manager to let me back for the 9:50 showing, which we will, so I get the best of BOTH things. Up to Tree on 20th and Park Avenue South for just the most PLEASANT gathering of people (see DIARY 12088) until 9:15, when I leave, pleasantly high on Marti and Marti (half Martini and Rossi sweet, half dry), which Regina gets a kick out of, and see "Face to Face," which is a dynamite show, but somehow flawed (see DIARY 12089). Out at 12:05 and subway home so tired that I feel almost wobbly-kneed walking up Henry toward Clark from the A-train at 12:25, pleased AGAIN to have just caught the train. Wash my face and clean my teeth and fall exhaustedly asleep without even a sheet over me in the 81 heat of the warmest night of the summer so far.

DIARY 12090

FRIDAY, JULY 1. Wake at 8:20 to hear Watson moving around, but then she leaves and I lay until 9:30, seeming to need sleep, and then get out MORE porno and jerk off limply AGAIN until about 10. Then record the dream that I still remember in some detail (see DIARY 12085), call Susan about her message last night, but she says she'll call back, so I continue typing while Dennis calls, Pope calls, and I finally finish 6 pages for the day by 11:35. Start exercising but Susan calls about a series of indexes that I'm to see Darrell at Harper and Row about on 7/12, and then I start exercises again and finish at 12, hoping to do two today to catch up with the schedule for the week, but I don't. Then do light-work from 12:20 to 1:20, put hamburger in the oven to finish it, and then get involved in reading Philosophy past 2, when I was supposed to go to Pope's, so phone him, discuss Philosophy for awhile and he agrees that their argument against Hedonism is stupid, I lend him the other 10 films and he says he'll watch them, and there are so many artifacts in the Alphaphones that I don't get anything out of it, and he still refuses to let them out of his sight, so I leave about 4:30 somewhat disappointed in the afternoon. Withdraw cash from the bank and get home to shower and shave and get out at 6:10 to meet Dennis after taking about an hour to look through all the mail: copyright papers, Soho, SciAm, and other things. Into the English Pub at 6:45, but Dennis is happy with a Campari and lemon soda, he later has shandy (beer and lemon soda, which is bland compared to my black and tan: stout and beer---which I add ice to and improve to my taste when we move next to the sidewalk to stare at crotches. My chili is adequate and his London broil is large, and we share a flaming plum pudding for dessert which is GREAT for two for $1.75, and I end up paying $5 and he ends up paying $10. Across to Carnegie Hall for Count Basie and his big-band sound (see DIARY 12091), and I don't care that much for it, and am fairly glad when it's over early at 10:10. Subway to my place WITHOUT going backward (as we did on Wednesday, as Dennis won't let me forget), and I make frozen daiquiris, we chat until 11:30 and JUST miss the last episode of "Mary Hartman," then some vampire movie isn't on, I go in to watch Pope's film with a GREAT come on it, and back in living room to find Dennis asleep on the couch. Get him into bed about 12:30 after having called Art at 12:15 for "Threepenny."

DIARY 12092

SATURDAY, JULY 2. Alarm rings at 7:45, dream fresh (see DIARY 12105), and I start playing with Dennis, and we play and play, I using a wet palm on his cockhead and he going along with it until he looks at the clock and says "It's getting late," so I bring him off with GREAT contortions of his face, and I can't touch his cock or his tits afterward, and he smiles later and says it was FUN and he didn't even get sore for 1.5 hours of manipulations of the HARD kind. He's into the shower about 9:30 and I make a great fruit bowl of melon, cantaloupe, blueberries, and raisins soaked in Sciarada, which is VERY nice, and some soft-boiled eggs and toast that I get reminded of how much I like them. He leaves for a rehearsal about 10:15 and Pope calls to say how much he liked my films, and I want to come, so I watch his film again and get into a GREAT touchless come with rubber bands before the mirror after getting way turned on by the films. Wash the dishes, just about everything. Then scrub the kitchen floor, scouring the refrigerator and kitchen cabinets, and then do exercise for yesterday, hoping to catch up TODAY. Record the bagpipe music while I'm moving things around the apartment, and then watch a 3 pm National Geographic Special on the Netherlands, which I might have watched when it first came out in 1970. That goes until 4, and call Dennis back, but he's not there, and so I dust and vacuum the entire apartment before he calls about 6:30, and he's coming over for dinner when he calls again. Transplant the pot, but that uses up all the soil, so I put the last bit into the oven, wash the pots, put them to dry, and listen to "Mephistofeles" on tape while doing this, competing with John across the way listening to HIS stuff. Then put everything away neatly and exercise a SECOND time to catch up, feeling GREAT. Then get out the list of stuff to do for Dennis to see, phone the LIRR to see what tour's on tomorrow, phone Paul to find he's going to a party on Lake Mahopac, and there's no answer at Rolf's. Get to typing, Dennis calls at 8:55 to say he's coming from Times Square, so I shower, shave, and type these 2 by 9:30. Then type letter to Joe Franklin about Lacy Thomas and to Rick about films, and then at 10 start on salad, he comes in, we have hamburger and mushroom soup, then he smokes and gets into his cock and I stand BEHIND him as he jerks off and I work over his tits, and he practically hits the ceiling with pleasure. Sleep about 12:30.

DIARY 12107

SUNDAY, JULY 3. I wake about 8:30 and Dennis is up about 9:15, and we jerk off again nicely, me using his come to come off marvelously, quite a bit harder than before. We're up at 10, he explaining that his parents are out of town today and will call tomorrow, probably, and I suggest that we wait a bit for breakfast while we read the Times. He makes coffee and had that while I read, and then at 11 look at the "Art of Oskar Fischinger" on Camera Three, and the poor baby had troubles being accepted as an artist's artist because he was only an ILLUSTRATOR, and I'm SURE the Disney version of Bach's Fugue in "Fantasia" is MUCH better than what HE would have done with it! Then get breakfast ready of SHIT on a shingle and PEAs, to Dennis's scatological laughs, and out at 12:15 to see the sailing ships coming down the East River, but there aren't many of them, there's a crowd of silly people, I'm getting too much sun on my bare arms and tight shorts, so I'm back (Dennis slept all last night with his contacts in and is suffering as a consequence) at 2 to watch "Waiting for Godot," which is somewhat a bore except for the work of Donald Moffatt, whom I like as Estragon, following it in the book and pleased they keep all the pisses and erections. That's on until 4:05, then Dennis is hot for more sex, so he jerks off again with lots of finger and tongue work from me, and he smokes and we're out at 5:30 to take TWO wrong trains and end up in Brooklyn going uptown to the park to buy heroes in 81st Street and get to Delacorte to meet Rolf, eat sandwiches, meet Michael, and detest the performance (see DIARY 12108). Out at 11, thankful that Art's going to the country and doesn't want to eat. Michael goes across home to meet someone later for the 12 West, Rolf drives Dennis down to Avery Fisher Hall for his last midnight concert of the NY Jazz Festival, which is over at 3 and he loves, and then drives me home, where I'm tired enough to get into bed after reading a bit of the Philosophy book after washing face and brushing teeth until Mrs. Watson stops moving around upstairs about 1 am, and then I'm to sleep under a sheet to hopefully stop the summer sniffles at 1:05, really exhausted from the sunshine today.

DIARY 12109

MONDAY, JULY 4. Wake about 8:30 and lie until about 9:30, then up to read more of the Times, clipping out more articles, and then decide that I want to transcribe the tape from Leonard Orr, so I do that (see DIARY 12094-12104) from 11:45 to 1:45, then phone Dennis and say I'll meet him at his place at 10, and then water the plants and have some lunch of hamburger and salad and the rest of the cookies, reading more of the Philosophy book, and I'd done my hour of light-work from 2:15 to 3:15, feeling good about it, that the time goes so fast, and then about 5 I'm back down to the typewriter to take care of other odds and ends. Wrap the cassette to Theta Seminars to finish THAT off, write to three photoduplicating services for four books from my list, try Baird Searles but he's not home, write to the Bookpost for "Gravitation" at 1/3 off, send the Blue Cross bill, and then decide to write to people about England, typing a full page to Paul for more addresses, and shorter notes to Leslie Rowland-Warne, Penny Pank and Richard Jones from John's and my trip to Bali and Kathmandu, respectively, and Edward Moulton-Barrett. Then determine to catch up vaguely with the diary pages, so I do the last four pages, bringing the number of pages typed up to 15 at 8 pm. Shower and shave and get onto the subway at 8:20, just missing one but another comes quickly, happily almost empty. It goes smoothly until 42nd Street, when lots of people get on, and gets totally crowded at 72nd, when I debate getting off, since it's 8:50 and it just MAY take 20 minutes to creep to the next station. But stay on and it takes just 5 minutes to stop at 96th, platforms jammed with people, the start of the fireworks of July 4 (see DIARY 12111). They're over at 9:45, I walk to Dennis's by 10, watching the people file past and the traffic jams unravel themselves by 10:35, and then settle down to read until he arrives at 10:50, saying that he couldn't leave while they were unwrapping her gifts. Up at 11 to watch the awful premiere of "Fernwood 2-Night" while he makes me scrambled eggs, and then he's tired and we've talked and I've had ice-laden Apry and we're into bed at 12:30, for him to smack at Harold, who's "not quite limp" at 12:45, but he finally turns over and goes to sleep, and I'm rubbing my sun-sore arms but sleep quickly.

DIARY 12114

TUESDAY, JULY 5. Alarm goes at 7:30 and Dennis is up, looking dragged out because I said the air conditioning was too cold and he turned it down until it felt like it was MY place, and even I felt a bit dragged out. Then he showers and makes me scrambled eggs again for breakfast, with cantaloupe, and we're out about 9:30 to a crowded train, I buy a quart of vodka to split my $20, and there's a stack of mail there already which I take upstairs and read. Check that I'd seen the movie I'd circled for 1 pm, exercise, thinking of doing 3 today to catch up with the cycle, and do light-work from 12:15 to 1:15. Wash dishes just before the sun hits, and finally use up the last of the dirt for the two avocado plants and a few other things, happy to get more things done off the list. Then go to maintain the list, and decide I have THREE of them: the book-do list, the do-now list, and the typed list, so I combine them all, coming up with 28 items, but feeling rather pleased about coordinating all of hem. Look into doing the Entertainment list and find that I have a YEAR of that to catch up with, which will take a while, and figure I can do one a day and get the main part of the list over with by the end of July. Send in inquiry for the Wyndham books when I get to put those away, and throw away lots of papers and slips while filing lots more things, getting down to basics. Bruce calls and suggests bodywork today, so I shower about 3 and wash my hair and eat the last of the hamburger and read more Philosophy and get out at 3:50 to get to his place to chat and do a better, though hotter, session (see DIARY 12115) until about 6, when I leave for the Brooklyn Library and put in reserves for three more books from the list, returning "Easter," and then subway home to continue putting things away, finding NO size specified for apartment air conditioners except SMALL, no window-washing reference, and no "new window quote" from Mrs. Johnson. Up to start typing the book-want list (see DIARY 12110) and then from 9-11 watch "Fantasy Island" with Bill Bixby murdering his long-lost Francesca again, Hugh O'Brien getting hunted, and Eleanor Parker killing her sister, Carol Lynley, and castrating her husband, Peter Lawford (symbolically, of course) overseen by "god" Ricardo Montalban. Trash. Then watch news and Fernwood until 11:30-1:15 "Edge of Eternity" with Cornell Wilde battling killer in guano basket over Grand Canyon with a male double who does NOT kick like Victoria Shaw hamming it up while dangling from an open door over the canyon. Bed warm and tired and uncoming at 1:30.

DIARY 12117

WEDNESDAY, JULY 6. Wake about 8:30 with the dreams (see DIARY 12116) clear in mind, but I know I have the book-list in the typewriter, so I put the dishes away, water the plants before the sun hits them, and put the fan on and exercise for the first time, getting up to 22 pushups and knowing that I'll be doing level three next. Phone Baird Searles' number and get some U.S. Motors, and call at 1 and he gives me NEW number for calling him tonight. I look at list, put things away from popcorn and oranges last night, and from yesterday's mail, and gather another bagload of boxes from the under-sink cabinet to throw out in preparation (circuitously) to putting the file boxes into the hall closet. Phone Dennis, who later phones me from work and invites me to dinner tonight at 9. Down for the mail and look through that, paying an IRS bill, looking at new plant-tree catalog, and clear out a LARGE stack of cards and notes and junk from the desktop and desk drawer, feeling better about everything's progress. Do a SECOND exercise at level 3, feeling VERY winded by the 135 run-in-places. Have cereal for "breakfast" about 1, then get down to typing to catch up with 9 pages by 3:30 pm. Then do light-work from 3:33 to 4:33 and have lunch of tuna and Philosophy to 5. Then, flushed with success of doing things, type three datebook pages from the end of January (actually from Feb. 4) and then 7 Entertainment Absorption pages, and get going so well that I update the opera, concert, play, events, and restaurant lists by 8:30, when I dress quickly and leave for Dennis's, getting in at 9 to phone Baird and he's not got book, says he'll ask Arthur Clarke when he next sees him, and to shower and shave, and he has a nice bottle of Rumanian white wine with stuffed peppers and cantaloupe for dessert. He's bought a record of a solo flute recorded in the Kind's and Queen's chambers of the great pyramid of Khufu, and he puts it on about 11:30, when we're lying in bed and lightly caressing each other, and I've had such a busy day typing and he's had such a day working that by the time the record is over, we just feel like going to sleep. Again he turns down the air conditioning so low that it feels quite warm after a few minutes in bed, but he's delighted that I like the record that he found to be so much like a trip for himself.

DIARY 12128

THURSDAY, JULY 7. Radio-alarm goes at 7:30 and he stares blankly, not quite believing how badly he feels. I'm out about 10 and walk up Broadway to buy "The Father Christmas Letters" by Tolkein and "The Job" by Burroughs at a half-price shop, but don't find anything else. To Butler Library and present card upstairs: go downstairs. Downstairs to get card good through July 15, so I present my request for "Outline of Zen Buddhism" and decide to see what ELSE they have, and find "The Deep-In View" by Watts, so I request that, and "Ali's Smile," "Dead Star," and "Time" by Burroughs, which I'd never heard of. They're in special collections, so she send me upstairs to room 654, way around the back in a tiny corridor, and I take notes on the three books (see DIARY 12129) and chat with the helpful librarian about one of the most incredible collections of books in town (see DIARY 12130). Out about 1 and downstairs to xerox "The Deep-In View" and find that the book I'd ORIGINALLY come to get has been lost, so they'll try it for three more times and send me back a card I leave with them. Subway home while reading "The Father Christmas Letters," and find that I have the banking statement, which it takes me until about 2:50 to check out with all the mistakes I've made in my account, strangely, and then dash out with two checks to cash and a check to have made out to the bank. Get that done by 3:05, then return the record to the library and re-borrow the two Clarkes that I'd read to xerox and another record, and she finally notices that my card had expired back in February, so she makes me out a new one. Then I'm over to the post office to AGAIN complain about a post office box, but THIS time it does something, since Saturday I GET the registered letter I've been waiting for AWARDING me a box! Then to Myrtle to read a 1972 Playboy and get a haircut until 4:15, which is the shortest in a long time. Back home to do light-work until 5:30, then exercise very sweatily in the humidity, and shower to get a call from Dennis that he'll be late. Change sheets and make iced tea for John and Dennis gets in at 6:45, so there's only time to go to Sebastian's, which overcharges for his fisherman's platter with nothing much on it, so we decide not to return. I'm over to buy groceries, he gets me a brownie and chats with an old woman outside, and we're back at 8 to greet John C who arrives at 8:30 for a DREADFUL evening (see DIARY 12131), leaves at 11, Dennis smokes/comes.

DIARY 12132

FRIDAY, JULY 8. Wake at 7:30 and we both get into cock AGAIN, him coming with great feeling and me whacking away until I'm almost sore from handling. Then we have cantaloupe and three soft-boiled eggs for breakfast and he goes off about 9:30 to work. I write authors and dances on the Entertainment Absorption list for a couple of hours and then type another page on the book list, finding that I'd read 119 books during the year 1976, almost one each three days, and then order the Alvin Ailey list and type some dance pages. Then decide I have to do light-work, and then exercise sweatily, and the afternoon gets very dark when it looks like it's going to rain. Down for the mail and read that, have some tuna fish for lunch, and talk to Dennis, who decides to come over about 7:30. Talk to Pope, who's crowing about his sexual encounter with Julio, the guy at the laundromat he'd fantasized about for 6 years---that's right, I'd called him at 9:30 and he was still in bed, and then he called back at 10 and talked until 11:10, so there went most of the morning. Then fuss about not having enough time for typing when I'm taking a shower and Dennis calls to say he'll be here more like 9:30 than 7:30 since he wants to vocalize and do things around the apartment. That's fine with me, so I type a few more dance pages, really doing a number with Ritha Devi in putting down both the style of dancing and a short synopsis of the work for her page, and then Dennis is in about 10, so I fry up the sausage for spaghetti and I finish the salad stuff in preparation for defrosting the refrigerator tomorrow, and he still doesn't like the shortness of my haircut, though when I said it didn't stop him from getting into his cock this morning, he said he looked at his cock far more than he looked at my hair! We finish just at 11 when the program about Earl "Fatha" Hines comes on 13, delayed for 10 minutes with an insipid news update that makes me happier than ever that I don't listen to the radio or get the daily paper. Program goes on to 12, and he smokes and gets into his cock again and I manage to stay fairly erect for a long time so he can play with me and suck on me, and we get to bed fairly early, about 1 am.

DIARY 12133

SATURDAY, JULY 9. He's up at 8 to have coffee and shower and I make breakfast about 9 of fried eggs and the last of the frozen peas, but he's talking and not eating and leaves later than 9:30 for his 10 am rehearsal at Manhattan Plaza for class, and then the buzzer goes with a registered letter from the post office for my box, with a huge flower catalog that I look through and other things to take care of. Think of typing, but I don't have time as I'm defrosting the refrigerator, showering, shaving, and getting out my green suit to wear to La Grenouille, and leave about 11:40 to make good subway connections and get there just at 12:15 to hear that a "little man" has just been looking for me. The dining experience is not the best in the world (see DIARY 12134) with the waiter's superciliousness, but the veal is good and Susan thanks me three or four times before we leave at 2:30. Walk up 5th for Dennis to get involved with some pot-smoking cause, wander through FAO Schwartz where Susan buys a terrier hand puppet for $15, and then it's so hot walking that we wander down to the lake in Central Park and chat about people passing and the wondrous look to the towers of the Majestic sticking above the trees. Then walk across to 59th and CPW to put her on the subway and we sit and I complain about my heavy shoes and my woolen trousers, but Dennis still wants to walk, so we're up CPW and go to the rowing lake and sit for a bit, then up the cruising section along the slopping sun-glade where I take part of a piss, then up the cruisy section along the walk at 80th, then to Dennis's to undress and get into incredible sex with his cock, coming cuddled in my lap so nicely there's no question of my coming. He naps while I do light-work for an hour until 8:15 and then we're mixing a drink and sitting on his roof, then down for the Times and get into sex again both of us coming this time before the "Forsyte Saga" starts a concerted repeat from 10:30 to 12, which I watch for part of the time, but it doesn't grab me like it did before, so we just read the Times until about 1 and then crawl into a cooler bed after nibbling on cherries and sourdough toast and banana bread, still stuffed from the lunch at Grenouille HOURS before.

DIARY 12135

SUNDAY, JULY 10. Wake about 9:30 and Dennis gets into jerking off on the corner of the bed as I stand above him, and he wants me to come in his face, and I get into it standing leaning against his cork wall, and then he puts his legs way up on the wall and I join him, he coming first in drips and me shooting just later, over to his opposite arm, and he loves it. Then it's 10 am so I do light-work while he drinks coffee until 11, and then I watch a program on "Mahler in New York" that concentrates on his life before he gets to New York in the first part until 11:30, and then he makes breakfast of a tiny hamburger, squash, and rice and cantaloupe and toasted sourdough bred until about 1, when we debate what to do: he wants to just wander, and I discourse longly about the benefits of having something in mind and THEN stumbling into something different. He suggests the South Street Seaport and I agree, and he'd called Dana and agreed we'd go up there on Friday since I wanted to see the Canadian short ballets on Saturday. Walk down Broadway in the relative coolness to encounter Frank cruising, and walking slowly, as we walk down to the Beacon to pick up tickets for the Kabuki on September 2, so we don't leave for Europe before then. Get good $13 seats on the aisle toward the walkway, and I'm sure Dennis will love Kabuki. Then subway down to Fulton Street for a hot, wearing afternoon in the Wall Street area (see DIARY 12136) and the South Street Seaport, and we get back to the Sketch Pad at 5:45 to a $20 meal of flounder and bluefish (which is QUITE tasty and better than I would have expected) for $6 and $5 and two molasses puddings for $2 each for dessert, lots of salad, and three beers for which they only charged us for two and a hot chocolate that they forgot to charge us for, but started with a $13.39 bill that later went up to $17.65 through their mistakes. Out at 7 and Dennis wants to walk more and doesn't want to watch TV with me, so he goes south and I got to Fulton and get subway home to watch end of "Hot-Blooded Dinosaurs" a kick until 8, then Evening at Pops with Clamma Dale singing bad Italian, English, and French, and then type 5 pages to get some diary finished and watch a silly "Anselm Gets His Chance" with John Alderton and Pauline Collins (who had been on the OTHER English comedy show about struggling actors) in Wodehouse Playhouse from 10-10:30, a VERY negative-minded Fawlty Towers with John Cleese to 11, and a repeat of a slightly silly Monty Python until 11:30, then read Burroughs (ER) to 12:45, wake to swat a mosquito at 2.

DIARY 12137

MONDAY, JULY 11. Out of bed at 8:30 after waking and lying for a bit, water the plants quickly to keep them from wilting, and sit and stare at things to do before doing light-work from 9:11 to 10:11, then type 5 pages until 12, only interrupted by looking at the Canadian Ballet schedule and getting a short call from Bruce, who's coming over later this afternoon. Exercise sometime during the day, getting to 30 for the first time and not feeling that it's THAT awful after such a long time. Waiting for George Flynn to call with the Piaget delivery, but then it gets on toward 2 pm and I get out to pay $12.50 and end up with post office box 1031 and get some groceries and get back about 3:15 to get a call from George to say that he'll be sending it to arrive in the next 3-4 hours, and then Bruce comes in about 3:30, by which time I've typed the last page that had to be done with the dance list which finishes the entire entertainment list update, which had been pending for awhile, and also decide that since Dennis had his trip to Connecticut today and talked with his chalkware lady and wants to write the entire article, he no longer needs index work, so I cross THAT off the list. Bruce and I have a GREAT talk through the long afternoon (see DIARY 12138), talking about the narrowness of questions and my being close to tears, and when 6 rolls around and the index is delivered I ask if he wants to stay for dinner, so I make tuna and noodles while we sit in the kitchen and talk and he drinks orange juice, and then he likes the food and has some wine with dinner and he gets rather high and decides to leave at 8, when I'm brushing my teeth, and I get a strange feeling he might have been thinking I was going to seduce him, making him nervous, since he keeps referring ahead to the time when I get into the sex part of first advanced. He leaves with another awkward hug, and I put things away and start looking at the Piaget index from 8:45 to 9, deciding it'd be too rough for Dennis to do, and then start marking the pages from 9 to 12:45, talking to Dennis when he calls for 15 minutes, and then get stuff together---LOTS of stuff, for my going in to Harper and Row tomorrow, and even make up a list of things I have to do in THAT ONE DAY. Get to bed about 1:30, setting INNER alarm for early waking.

DIARY 12141

TUESDAY, JULY 12. Wake about 7, feeling good about that, and get up for an hour of light-work that goes passably well, so I'm ready for class tomorrow. Then I THINK I exercise, though I don't record it, and shower and shave and have breakfast of lovely peach and cereal, get LOTS of things ready for the day, and leave about 9:40, getting there about 10:20, and Darrell isn't there yet, so I phone George Flynn who later calls Susan and I don't get back to him until Wednesday, phone Mark Elliott who says he'll call me later this evening with his report about London, which he does (see DIARY 12142), xerox "Indian Ocean Adventure" in a hurry when no one needs the machine, and go downstairs to check out the MANY Heidegger books on their list, meeting the BEAUTIFUL blond clerk who tells me about Trakl and says that Holderlin HAS been translated in Penguins a few years ago. Order about $34 worth of books even at HALF price, including the "Phenomenology of Mind" by Hegel that just happens to be right above Heidegger, and the packet of 3 Teilhards. Then Darrell is in and we're going through the 7 old indexes to come up with requirements for the new. Out to lunch with Susan and Elaine and Dennis Anderson in the rain, borrowing an umbrella, and lunch is VERY gay, talking about men talking on midnight phone calls to women with their rugby shorts in his mouth, women getting "wideons" or "whiteons" to men's "hardons," and Dennis is all over me, even attacking me with his umbrella, as he put it. Good hamburger and back from 12:45 to 1:45 lunch to start typing away on the three pages of instructions, Darrell pleased, and then I xerox "Beyond Jupiter" in two stages of about 100 pages, cram my shoulder bag full of stuff, talk to Elaine's dynamite-looking Richard who's there to become a freelance artist, and down with Susan to West 4th Street to get home about 7 to hear that Dennis will come over later. Don't do any typing, page through all pages to check rightness while listening to "Little Night Music" which remains in my head for a week, and then put on the tuna to warm when Dennis arrives at 9:30 and we eat while watching NOT a great production of "Gondoliers" on TV until HE goes to bed at 10:30, asking to be wakened, and when I do at 11:30 after I shower and shave, he seems dreamy enough to accept my suggestion of waking up about 6 to get to the Fulton Fish Market as fantasized TOMORROW. OK. Sleep.

DIARY 12143

WEDNESDAY, JULY 13. I wake about 5 and doze until 6, when I whisper "Dennis" when he gets up as the light streams in from the living room. He agrees that we can go, and we get into each other quickly, and then he's into the shower and I'm making coffee for him to have before he leaves (and also I hadn't gone to the grocers yesterday, as planned, so I had no eggs for breakfast, reminding me of his idea of "having breakfast" down there) with me about 7. The walk across the bridge is noisy and almost cool, and the fish market is quite interesting (see DIARY 12144) even though it's mostly over by 8 am when we get there. To the John St. Restaurant for breakfast, he with the more expensive better french toast (which he got with two sausages for 65 extra) and I with pancakes, which we switched one each of. I called Joyce Palmer again at 9:10 and she wasn't in (called her at 7 pm last night when I got her message about the meeting this afternoon, but no one answered), so I told her to leave the time on my machine. Then Dennis goes down to South Ferry to get the local subway and I start checking stores for coffee makers and don't get very far before it's hot and I'm back in the subway and home about 10:30, getting to the post office to change the name to ONE company: JOYI, and stopping in at the bookshop and getting groceries to stock up my refrigerator, actually getting in about 11:30 to find a message from Rolf, who isn't home. Send for address labels from Drake for JOYI, phone George Flynn to find that everything's OK, and have lunch of tuna before showering and shaving and getting out at 3:15 to sweat my way in my Brooks Brothers gray suit to EGR at 3:55, talking with a harried Joyce and a suspicious John about the guiding, and then about 4:30 I volunteer to stuff the 65 envelopes with three fliers, a golden "big apple" charm, and a TV guide, which turns out 6 short so I have to buy them. They thank me, I pack up things and leave at 6:30 to find Ticketron closed at Grand Central at 5, then shuttle and subway up to Don Mark's at 7:05, and we chat about what I and he like and don't like, and I start getting allergic to his cats, sniffling, and out at 7:45 to walk in hot weather down to Actualism, for class #3 (see DIARY 12145), during which the lights go out, plunging New York City into another 12-hour blackout (see DIARY 12146), and we're out at 10:10, walk to Dennis's to find him waiting outside for me, cook chicken in tangerines and rice and onions, eat on roof, to hot bed at 1:15 with no sex.

DIARY 12147

THURSDAY, JULY 14. Woke about 7, debated light-work, but couldn't remember enough of the instructions, so I tried again at 8, but then we were up about 8:45 and getting into cocks nicely. I suggested we go onto the floor where it would be cooler and lighter when the lights came on about 9:30, and we finished showing off our cocks and coming with GREAT gouts of come because it had been awhile since we'd come, so we DIDN'T come Wednesday morning. He almost got into a second coming. Then he's making coffee and dawdling in the kitchen and I'm wanting to get home, so I read so that I'M not disturbed, but we have a talk about it later in the afternoon. Hear at noon that lots of places still not on: neither Brooklyn nor the Village on yet. I take up reading Updike when I get near the end of "Heaven and Hell," and try doing light-work while he vocalizes but it doesn't work, so I wait until he leaves for his singing lesson at 2:45 before doing light-work for an hour after drawing up an outline and getting it checked through Bruce, who's on the phone on Thursday because yesterday was so unusual. He remarks that he was thinking I hadn't had an x-out and maybe I needed one, but maybe this difficulty I was having would even things out. Dennis is back at 3:50 as I'm about to call Bruce back and check what I'd typed on Dennis's typewriter, and then Dennis gets to typing letters to London and asks me to mail them for him, and I say he should have 31 stamps around, and he explodes into a "Fuck you," and I sit down and we talk from about 5 to about 7 on it (see DIARY 12148), and then I get down to the subways they say will start at 5:30 and go onto regular service by 6:30. Local comes and takes me to 72nd, but though platform fills with VERY gay clientele, no express comes and I get a "block" re-pay ticket and, fuming, walk up to Dennis's, buying an Advocate and a Voice which I read while he goes out at 8 to do shopping for dinner, coming back with steak for his Bisquera which dries out the meat and leaves it tasteless after we wait for 30 minutes for it to soak and 1.5 hours to cook on low flame, but the green peppers are good and I finish "Heaven and Hell" and he REALLY gets into great hard cock, rubbing and gasping, and we get to bed about 1:30 again.

DIARY 12149

FRIDAY, JULY 15. Wake at 8 and he's up to shower while I read and he makes little hamburgers and scrambled eggs, and then he says he'll come with me to buy index cards, so we subway via BMT to Apollo and spend $106 for 20 boxes, he takes off 6 and I walk him down Park to buy a $10 projector bulb for $8, get codes for air conditioners at Hamptons, pick up the boxes and subway home with LOTS of junk, including the Times that I wanted to read. Home at 10:30 to get messages from Naomi about sending pages Wednesday (that I haven't got YET!) and due August 1, Pope that my charts are ready, an unknown whisperer that I later decide is ME from Dennis's to see if power was on, Mom calling in panic about the blackout, so I phone her, phone Pope and go over at 12:30 to pick up phone number of window washer from Phoenix and small screwdrivers from Arnie's place to see WHICH Uher belts I may NEED sometime of the 5 they sent, return books and record of Mozart's Opus 3 that I didn't care for with flutes and harpsichords, and to the post office to pick up "third notice" of which this was the first, and it's the pages from Raven, sent 7/6 and not delivered 7/7, so I explode and go to room 736 to complain (and see a groovy guy sort of look over his shoulder back at me as he went into the Postal Inspector's room) and fear REAL reprisals because I didn't, as Pope put it, contribute $1 to the postman's ball. Complained about the box number hassle from November 22, also. NOW find that it was OCTOBER 28!! Debate going to A&S for Tangerine Dream tickets but it's hot, so I'm home, having taken out a shirt and a pair of trousers for Monday for $1.25 EACH to the cleaners, written the rent check, phoned Kiley at EGR, phoned Mark Elliott, and bought 6 TV Guides and razor blades. Then phone Rolf and talk for a long time, he getting caught in shower during blackout, and settle deadlines with Naomi and Terry Kornak and making schedule to prove that I can DO it on time, all THREE of them. Then do light-work from 4:55 to 5:55, doing better. Dana calls and I tell him I'll be late, shower and shave, and had cooked the beef roast and the hamburger so that they'd not go bad after the defrosting, and had hamburger for lunch while reading my astrology chart, so hot that the thermometer reads 102 outside and the fan is constantly on, and leave to Dana's at 6:35 and find no fruit and no wines that I know, so I take Boone Farm Apple Wine to them and they serve "welfare" (kid's lunch) pina colada with rum, fritos (with awful taco chip flouriness worse), chili, hot salad, sherbet and Dennis's ice cream and Pepperidge Farm cookies, and we see slides and films of London, leave at 12 to Dennis's for sex and sleep 1 am.

DIARY 12152

SATURDAY, JULY 16. Wake about 9 and begin playing with each other's cocks. I get VERY hard and drippy, and play with the idea of getting it to the edge and then coming very strongly, but when we get onto the floor and he stands above me, I'm juicing so hard that I have to bear down on my cockhead and come that way, shooting strongly onto my chest, and then he comes quickly afterward, spreading his come all over me by 10. Then he says he's going to fuss around, so I sit in the corner and do light-work from 10 to 11, coming up with some extraordinary insights (see DIARY 12150-12151) that I jot down notes for. Tell Dennis about the CB radio analogy and get into wavelength and frequency and the speed of light and the metric system, but it ends up being a bit much for him and he stops me. I'm reading more of the Wyndham as he gets breakfast of hamburger and eggs together, and then we have some plums and nectarines at the end, and he goes off at 12:15 to pick up his laundry and go to a rehearsal at 1. I'm down the block when I remember that I don't have the Wyndham (didn't want my shoulder bag up to Dana's, so I just wore shorts and a tee shirt and shoes and socks, things in pockets), so I wanted for him to come back, observing a black from his next building looking fixedly at the tires and door locks of various cars on the block, and wonder if he might not be a car thief. To a crowded subway and change at 72nd Street, just finishing the "Best of Wyndham, 1951-61" as I get to Clark St. at 1, and the living room floor is still littered with stuff from the last few days. I add clothes to the pile, take ice cube trays from the refrigerator to put in front of the fan to compensate for the 96 THI 86 outside, talk to Rolf who was taking a bath when the blackout came, got no answers from Bruce Lieber and Alan Fabricant, and started catching up with the diary, taking time off from 4:30 to 6 to watch an attempt to break the speed of sound on land that crashed after 558 mph, some mainly female gymnasts from a championship in Riga, Latvia, and a dirt-track auto race. Then finish 14 pages, almost caught up, and decide at 7 to see the ballet, so I phone Dennis and leave word that I'm coming, shower and don't shave, subway with PERFECT connections to the Met at 7:50 and pick up a $2.50 ticket and move down to the balcony for the Canadian National Ballet for three mediocre pieces (see DIARY 12153), meeting Jeff Lampl and his new lover, with whom he's living, Frank, and out at 11 to walk up to Dennis's by 11:30, and we have some fruit and toast and banana bread and read the Times, but he says he's tired and wants to sleep by 12:15, so we crawl into an air conditioned bed to sleep.

DIARY 12154

SUNDAY, JULY 17. I wake at 7, then again at 8, again at 9, and doze on and off until Dennis decides to get up at 10:30, then gets his call from his folks and tells them about the blackout in the bathroom while I listen to Mahler from 11-11:30, then finish reading the Times and have a GOOD omelet for breakfast with toast, and then at 1 I leave to get home by 1:45, do light-work until 2:45, and then call Dennis who'd called and chat about his index until 3:15, and then I catch up with the diary completely with 3 pages by 4 pm. Start fixing up the apartment until 5:10, when I can't keep away from the index any longer and finish marking the last 100 pages from 5:10-7:50. Then type the nearly 700 cards from 7:50-10:10 (interestingly EXACTLY 300 cards per hour!) and then sort most of them until 10:30, when I stop to watch the second installment of "Fawlty Towers," which isn't quite as silly as the first and moves rather quickly, and then watch another Monty Python that I'd seen before while eating a dinner that starts with blueberries with cream that tastes vaguely sour but still palatable, some roast beef just gnawed off the hunk, cold in the steaming day, and a large bowl of strawberries and cream with the cream tasting almost normal, though I worry about my stomach becoming highly acidic with all the fruit. Then I don't quite feel like going to bed at 11:30, so I attack more of the stuff laying around the apartment floors, but decide that the only thing I can do to make the apartment livable during the next three days while I'm working at the Plaza is to stuff everything into the top shelf of the bookcase as a sort of "look at this when you can" place, finally putting the cards away in the closet and ramming the boxes into the front closet in preparation for the new filing system in there. Stuff the new sweater from the Griswolds up there, too, having to write to them quickly, along with another letter from Arnold, who seems to have nothing better to do. Also the Times from Friday, which I did not yet get the chance to read, and all the indexes that I'm suddenly behind schedule on. Yet with the Actualism "CB radio" insight, I'm not really concerned about it: what I do, I'll do, what I can't get to, I won't do. Bed about 1, setting the alarm for 6 am because I plan to do light-work first thing.

DIARY 12155

MONDAY, JULY 18. Can't quite sleep and wake at 5:30 and decide to get up THEN, doing an hour of light-work that feels pretty good, after pushing the stuff into the bookcase to clear it up. Had wanted to have breakfast, but by the time I get everything together, showering and shaving and putting on the jacket and clean pants and shirt and putting the tie in the pocket of the jacket, it's 7:35 and I'm concerned about not being at EGR at 8. Walk in the early-morning heat down to the Lexington stop and wait for a train, but it moves fast and I'm out and to EGR only at 8:10, but David Graham is there waiting for me, so I AM late. He takes the smaller two boxes and I take the larger two, he locks up, then we're down to grab a cab and get to the Plaza and take the stuff to the Terrace Foyer, and then he sits while I go phone Peggy Bolger and meet her in the lobby. We set things up and I start on my "hundred tasks" (see DIARY 12156), but sneak out for breakfast at Prexy's just before 10:30, since I obviously won't get to eat much after that, and meet Peggy and Harry in the Foyer at 11, talk about things, make out more things to do, and the people start coming in. Continue tasks in the interim, Margitta a charmer, people wide-eyed and innocent in a way hardly ever encountered in a tour group (see DIARY 12158). People build up until 5, when the photographer arrives, George Braatz helpful, and then the bar arrives at 6:30, there's a fuss about a pianist and they end up with an accordionist, and then Peggy says I WILL be able to eat by taking the stuff that I'm guarding inside. Bill Christopher proceeds to get smashed, but he helps GREATLY later when he insists that I have a room at the hotel. In about 8 for a longish speech by Curt Gowdy answering questions, and then I sit at the last table and eat a rather dreadful meal of chicken in gravy, very hard asparagus, tasteless rice, a limp salad, and a gloppy chocolate mousse with a sauce and whipped cream. I make an announcement about tomorrow's schedule, do more stuff, get people's packages to them, say goodnight to Peggy, and get to the registration desk to get Walker's room, and it's a SUITE, 349, next to Peggy's, and I'm up at 10:30 to shower and try Dennis, talking to Pope, getting no answer from Bruce, trying Guy, and at 12:15 I GET Dennis, wander around looking at the remnants from the Yankees party in the grand Ballroom until Dennis arrives at 12:50, and he WALKS sideways, like a gawky kid, and we look around the lobby and up to the room to sit in the living room, neck in bed, and finally to exhausted sleep for both at 1:30 am.

DIARY 12159

TUESDAY, JULY 19. Awake at 2, 3, 4, 5, and out of bed at 5:30 to shave and get the wake-up call at 6, do an hour's light-work that felt GREAT to do, and then wake Dennis, who's rested and happy at 7, and I'm downstairs after cautioning him to NOT be caught by Peggy next door. She's not there at 7:30 and when she DOES arrive she goes in to eat, and I get in later, letting David take charge of the table for a bit, and he checks luggage and Williams. I get away for a shit, then worry a bit about the coming of the busses at 9:15, but they're there and I'm on last bus down at 9:35 and we board The Cabaret early and leave at 10:30 for a fabulous cruise near Ellis and Liberty Islands, around Governor's Island and up the East River to 100th and around and up the Hudson to 42nd, then back to pier at 2:30 while caricaturist sketches wide-eyed people, people eat, swelter atop in the 102 day, and stay below to even play cards and talk with people and nap. Back in traffic at 3 and have to board again at 4. I catch quick shower and make calls and down to find Peggy bitching about going slower, not drinking so much, so my last bus leaves at 4:35 for Tavern on the Green for a crowded Rafters Pavilion way back in back, near Jackie Robinson party, and they can't be kept away from tables for 5:15 dinner, but they delay 6:30 leaving until almost 7, and then we're stuck in traffic while a whole line of cars reverses to park coming AWAY from Yankee Stadium. Pass through fire-blasted Harlem and Bronx, for guests' edification. Out of bus at 7:45 and only LATER does Bill Christopher tell me that we have to walk 8 blocks back to busses, which can't return to where they dropped us off at Gate 6. The game and Yankee Stadium are interesting (see DIARY 12160), and game is over at 11:30, busses start back at 12, and everyone's quite exhausted and I reach low point as I think I may have lost my jacket (which I finally took off) because Peggy let my bus go ahead, though they said they would have brought my stuff back to me, and they were glad to see me there, though I didn't even bother to berate Peggy for making me look like an asshole, counting people and then ignoring counts. Shower and bed at 1:30, but I can't sleep so I put ass against mirror on door and jerk off to a MARVELOUSLY felt orgasm and got into bed at 2:15, feeling remarkably together.

DIARY 12161

WEDNESDAY, JULY 20. Sleep better and wake at 6 to feel grainy-eyed doing the light-work, but it's fine afterward. Shave again with only soap and down to Persian Room at 7:30 to find the doors closed to conserve air conditioning, so I tell them to open and sit at the first table, chatting about Mrs. Halstead's illness, and then out to take care of final things, give some few instructions, and even get to do some reading in the quiet times after I check out and everyone's left after about 10:30. Some few come back and sit around and chat, one couple leaves for the Island by limousine at 1, and then it's so quiet that I finish up and call John Kiley at 1:30 and say I'm leaving, and get out to the incredibly hot day after getting all my notes together (see DIARY 12156-12157) to the things I'd done, and get home at 2 to a whole stack of 10 calls and leave word for Bruce Lieber, talking to Jim for a long time about indexing; try Avi and get no answer (yet MEET him that evening on Broadway!), Mr. Rosen about my PO Box, and Art about the ticket to "Cherry Orchard." Take Mrs. Johnson's suit back to her, and she asks for Marcia Siegel's name for an apartment below her. Write a one-page letter to Arny about my job at the Plaza, and Bob Rosinek calls to talk about HIS life-changes during his 18-day vacation at Fire Island where he's having visionary experiences without smoking, and has stopped smoking cigarettes. Then at 4:30 I'm just falling apart with sore eyes, so I lay down under the fan for a nap until 6, which feels better, and then I shower and get out for Actualism at 7:30, but STILL get there at 8, but the room's open and I talk to Bruce about my breakthrough last week, tell Michael about my Plaza work, and have one of the most emotional experiences yet (see DIARY 12162 and 12166). Out at 10:15 and postpone an invitation to Michael's, who's glad to have me in the group, do a bit of light cruising of HUNKS on the street, meet Avi and chat, get to Dennis's about 10:45 and feel good toward him, having London broil in his Lacotta with green peppers and baked potatoes, and he's in love with his chalkware lady he'd seen today. Settle into incredible sex where I'm VERY hard and he shoots MARVELOUSLY well, and I want to save mine for the morning, so we're into bed at 1:15, both feeling VERY tired from a VERY busy day.

DIARY 12165

THURSDAY, JULY 21. Wake with the radio at 7:30, and Dennis is hard when he shuts it off, so we get into sex again and I stand over him and jerk off, to his enormous delight, and then he gets the popper and comes in a white waterfall onto my chest (is THAT the "If"-record connection?). I phone Art who can't get tickets for Avi at this late date for "Threepenny," find that "Pavlo Hummel" is over at 10:45 and we may eat at Roadhouse with Richard Kleyn afterward if he makes reservations. I ask for an omelet for breakfast and get it, with lots of toast, fried potatoes, and pink grapefruit juice, and then get home about 11:30 to talk to Bruce for a long time on the phone (see DIARY 12164), talk to Avi about his dentist-work being done for $6600 because Dilantin for his epilepsy might ruin his gums, and phone the weather number to find that this is the second hottest day in NYC history, with 104. Do light-work for OVER an hour when it doesn't quite feel like I've finished with doing it after the hour, and then don't feel like doing anything in the heat so I finish the last 40 pages of "No One Writes to the Colonel," which isn't as good as the first Marquez book. Decide I MUST put stuff away, and I get everything off the floor and into place, mostly stuffed into the top shelf of the bookcase to take care of later. May lay down for another nap because I'm feeling so dragged out, but then get to typing the diary pages, doing 11 pages to just about get up to date, but I haven't yet typed the draft for the lesson-page (see DIARY 12169) and there are a few thoughts hanging around the back of my mind. Start looking at the bookcases for an eye to reorganizing them again, making more room for diaries. Wash dishes for a long time, throwing out lots of stuff that has gone bad in the refrigerator (this is actually tomorrow's work), and make more hamburger-in-mushroom-soup for dinner with souring peas while watching a rather dreadful program (concentrating on politics and war rather than decadence) on Farouk from 10-11, and had talked to Pope from 9:30 to 10, reminding him that he wanted to see the show, too. Into bed with the fan going about 11:30, debating reading and coming, but don't do either since I'm still tired.

DIARY 12167

FRIDAY, JULY 22. Wake about 7:30 and lay until 8:30, still feeling warm but knowing that the heat wave's broken, and then do an hour of light-work and jot down more questions to ask. Phone about 10:30 and Rebekah answers most of my questions (see DIARY 12168). This is when I put on Haydn records and do the dishes, also watering the plants that take almost three containers-full. Spend about 2 hours making a list of Actualism teachers and PRICE from Light Lines. Gather things together to do, and get out about 1 to take out some dry cleaning, deposit checks in the bank, pick up $1.25 postage-due package from ACC, and return to buy groceries. Get back to an est Graduate Review and read it pretty thoroughly after putting the groceries away, and Dennis calls to say his day is nice. I get back to the Piaget index from 3:35 to 5:55, editing in nice time, and then start typing until 8 (oh, had some fried eggs for breakfast, reading lots of old New York Magazines that had been piling up, too). Then watch the Moscow Circus (including a group I'd seen back in 1963, I find as I check my program) from 8-9 and watch "The Other" from 9-11, while talking to Dennis from 9:10 to 10:20 about his application for Friends from Britain, where we might stay for 5 days with someone he gets. He doesn't remember the movie, but it's mildly surprising to find that his twin had died and he's actually evil himself, but though Tom Tryon was both Executive Producer and writer of the screenplay from his book, it still wasn't the best movie. Then watch bits of Fernwood and Pops with a rather incompetent Claude Kipnis and a SEXY cohort among 6 of them until 12, so that I can finish dinner with 2 ears of corn. Then brush teeth and get out pornography and have a VERY sad session with sex (see DIARY 12169) after going through piles of pictures and not really getting turned on by any of them. That takes until 1:45, and the goddam woman upstairs has been moving around until 1, which was why I decided to read some more of "Leaf Storm," and even THAT'S not very good, and I'm not being worried about DOING things, but things seem less interesting while DOING them, and I'm hoping to get through with the three indexes and get some time to devote to catching up (the old story) and moving into new places with Actualism.

DIARY 12171

SATURDAY, JULY 23. Wake about 7:55 with the crappy woman SWEEPING upstairs, and lay until about 8:30, when I get up and do light-work for an hour from 8:37 to 9:37. Then have breakfast of cereal and a nice peach, and fertilize the plants with three containers and even THAT doesn't seem like quite enough (though some are overwatered when I check at 11:30, and I pour from the wet and give to the dry). Then catch up on 6 diary pages from 10:15 to 11:35, having phoned in and left word at Actualism for MORE questions. Then do a page of typing on the index when Bruce calls, so I take notes on that (see DIARY 12172) and correct the draft of the lesson-page (see DIARY 12170) to type the lesson page. Rick calls and talks of seeing films, and I say I've decided NOT to see the "Giselle" this afternoon. Back to index at 1 pm! Finish typing from 12:50 to 1:35, then proofread from 1:35 to 2:30, and finish the hamburger stuff at last, then get down to writing up the bill and the note to George Flynn and put it in an envelope (and FORGET about it until George calls me Monday morning at 11:30!) from 3:20-3:50. Rick calls again from Dennis's and says he won't be coming over. Then I decide I DO have to clear off the stuff crammed into the top shelf, so I make piles for the indexing jobs and letters to write and things to do, and after a long time I manage to cut the pile down to size, sending out a few bills, and then after I shave and shower and am just about to leave, have JUST enough time to send in an expense account to John Kiley for $15 at EGR, and then dash out at 7:25 fearing to be too late, but the subways are RIGHT there waiting for me, and between 42nd and 50th Malcolm introduces me to two friends and hugs me a lot with a great smile saying he LOVED my report last Wednesday. Dash to the theater wreathed in smiles and feeling great, and "The Training of Pavlo Hummel" turns out pretty well with Al Pacino (see DIARY 12173). Then we subway down via 8th Avenue to Hisae's Fish Place, which Dennis wanted to go to, which is the old Roadhouse that Art recommended to me, and the appetizer of hot bean sprouts (too much at $1.95) and the fabulously flavored ginger-and-black-bean sea bass of Richard's ($6.95), the lobster of Dennis's ($6.95), and my summer salad of avocado, pineapple, shrimp, peach, and sauce ($7.50) (and a carafe of wine for $4.50 and two desserts for $1.50 for $40+ bill, good) are all fabulous, and we close the place about 1, subwaying to my place to sleep at 1:30.

DIARY 12174

SUNDAY, JULY 24. Wake at 7:55 and start light-work to snooze until 8:55, then start with renewed determination and finish up fairly quickly at 9:55, when I figure I've stayed in bed enough with Rick awake because neither of us put down the shades in the living room for him. Up to make coffee and put on onions and bacon to fry very well before adding scrambled eggs, which were good but AGAIN Rick said nothing about them. Turn on Camera Three at 11:20 and see something about PASTA that I've just as well missed, and then at 11:35 when I'm reading the paper, Rolf calls to ask me to Riis Park for two hours, so I ask and it's OK: Rick takes 6 films and leaves me 4, one of which he wants back, Dennis has rehearsal at 1 pm and has to leave anyway, so they're out at 11:55 and I put on trunks and pack book and towel and lotion and sit on the stoop at 12:05 as Rolf drives up. Fast ride there in about 40 minutes for 4 hours on the broiling beach (see DIARY 12175) with lots of nudies and toplesses and waves, and he meets a gym-face Julio Sorrentino (from the play last night?) and we get car at 4:30 and drive around to get caught in traffic up Flatbush Avenue and some remnants of the break-ins during the blackout signaled by boarded windows and some wrecked grates. Home to begin developing a color of pink which gradually turns red until it's almost painful to sit. Showered to get the salt off, and then put on some baby lotion to stop the skin from cracking, as it feels, and get started on marking the pages for the Metastasis index, doing 139 pages from 7:15 to 10:15, minus ten minutes talking to Dennis, who's having problems with the re-do of the indexes for Ginny, so I put on the roast pork at 8:10 and turn it off at 9:50. He shows me his outline for the Chalkware article, due tomorrow, and we talk a bit about the index before sitting down to dinner at 10:30, finishing at 11:30 with LOVELY corn 10 for $1 from the supermarket, and then he smokes and comes too quickly, and I try to get into it, but even with HIM trying to do himself a second time, the pain in my back is too great as I grind myself into the sheets and irritate it with sweat so much that I shower at 1 am and have him slather me with another layer of baby lotion before crawling into bed at 1:15 with the alarm set at 6:30 so he can get finished with his work tomorrow.