Any comments or questions about this site, please contact Bob Zolnerzak at





1978 1 of 10


My journal from 1978 contains many "see DIARY XXXX" references. These will be filled in later; I just want to get the BASIC journal pages on the website.

DIARY 12650

SUNDAY, JANUARY 1. Wake about 11:30, feeling pretty awful having wakened earlier and gone back to sleep, but figure things aren't going to get any better, so I get out of bed and immediately work both puzzles in the Times, and then finish the paper, not much in it, in time to warm up some of the remaining chili, with Italian bread made MUCH too salty by using the garlic salt on it, and watched "Die Fledermaus" from 3-6 in a very special production (see DIARY 12651), and it actually goes until 6:20. Then I don't feel like doing anything more than jerking off, so I put up the projector, wince at the plant-dirt on the floor of the bedroom, and go through one film, feeling nicely horny, but then get the poppers and my eyes start watering merely by USING it. And I sort of whack away while watching Joe Angelo playing with himself, not really satisfying, but it's out of the way. Then take a few dishes into the kitchen just to get rid of them, and then read more of "A Separate Reality" until it's time to heat up the chili AGAIN for "I, Claudius," where John Hurt decides that as Caligula he's become a god, with his sister, to whom he does something dreadful that the camera doesn't show. (Oh, forgot that I used Easy-Off on the oven yesterday, smelling up the place, particularly while cooking my first hamburger in the lye-remnant oven.) That went from 9-10, and then I decide to watch "Pennsylvania Lunch---HA---Lynch," in which justice is mis-served by letting four men go free who burnt a black but was seen by the child of a Hungarian immigrant couple whose father wanted him to tell the sheriff but whose mother left and then came back when the father wouldn't kowtow to her. Lelia Goldoni seemed so EVIL as the woman it was hard not to be on the side of the males of the family. Get into bed about 11, but I don't feel like sleeping, so I continue reading "A Separate Reality," which turns out to be quite interesting when Don Juan talks about what kind of a life a person who SEES has, and then I'm tired enough to roll over and go to sleep just before 1 am, hoping to clean up the apartment tomorrow and get some things done that I hadn't gotten done in the VERY lazy day today.

DIARY 12653

MONDAY, JANUARY 2. Out of bed about 9:30, well aware that I'd slept over 8 hours without much trouble, but I realized I should be exercising to get my energy level back up. Still felt stuffed from far too much chili last night, and something burned, maybe from too much garlic, and I rather firmly remembered the dream I had (see DIARY 12652). Started putting things away from Saturday, said no to Bruce Lieber to come to an intro on Montague St., then put on TV at 10:30 to see the start of the Tournament of Roses Parade moved up one day so they wouldn't be playing ball on Sunday (and taking all those people away from church, no doubt). That goes on till 2, and I finish the little chili left (4 straight meals of it now), with some salad, and then fix up the rest of the apartment, do all the dishes, and then vacuum the floors until 3:45, then start on the diary until 4 pm, when I turn on the first half of "Spartacus," and no wonder it didn't get any nomination for best almost anything: rather diffuse and bland, not even much spectacle in the first half. That goes until 6, and I make popcorn just being completely crazy during the last part of it. See that "Star Trek" is one I'd seen, then get back to the diary (and checked that I'd worked 718 hours during 1977 and earned over $12,000---not bad at all for less than 2 hours/day, or 24 30-hour weeks), water the plants, and prepare to type up the rest of the datebook pages, finishing these 7 pages by 7:35. Get to 1 datebook page by 8, when I put on "Things to Come" for the spectacle of the first part, and then watch "Girls Running the Chinchai River on Rafts" and "The Budding Artists of Acrobatics" from China's Peking Television on Films of Persuasion, really pretty bad, except for the Chinese scenery, then just sit through for "Olga, a Documentary" on Olga Korbut and her weird gymnastics teacher, than at 11 watch Dick Cavett introduce the bull-baiting Gore Vidal and at 11:30 the bull: Norman Mailer, who admits to stabbing his wife three times, but not once in the back. Then decide to do light-work from 12-1, having an incredible session (see DIARY 12658), taking notes, and then try to fall asleep on my back but can't, so roll over at 2:05 and drift off.

DIARY 12660

TUESDAY, JANUARY 3. Up at 9:30 with an earlier dream forgotten already and a current dream forgotten by the time I write this. Remember to wash the room-divider windows at last, and get that done by about 10:30, after vacuuming to get up the white specks on the floor. Then typing away on the datebook pages when at 11:15 I remember (left work with Azak, who called) that I wanted to see the Donnell films, so I call Arnie and hurriedly have three eggs scrambled for breakfast, and take my pills, and dash off to get to the library in the 27 cold at 11:57 for "The Kid," "The Rink," "One Week," "Leave 'Em Laughing," "Saturday Afternoon," "Never Weaken," and "Why Worry" (see DIARY 12659) from 12 to 3:25, when I leave to get back home at 4 to watch the end of "Spartacus," getting quite spectacular in the final battle that kills off the slave army, and a VERY spectacular John Gavin getting out of a hot bath to a towel, and then sweating in a BEAUTIFUL chest in a steam room with both Lawrence Olivier and Charles Laughton looking him up and down. Have a hamburger during that, since it's only lunch, and then check that "Star Trek" is an old one and then get back to finish typing the three datebook pages (see DIARY 12654-12657 in all) to bring that up to date, put away last year's datebooks, have already put up the new calendar for the next two months, and finish these 3 pages by 7:20. Then get in to overflow the frying pan with the last batch of chili (this is LATER; but in the meantime I start filing or throwing away Christmas cards, watch a VERY romantic "Knight without Armor" with Robert Donat as an English spy caught up in the 1916 Russian Revolution to become a Commissar ousting Marlene Dietrich as a Countess, and finally he rescues her and marries her on a Red Cross train thanks to a smitten boy-commissar who shoots himself, all this from 8-10, while I finish putting away the Christmas cards) and Eddie calls to talk about his new apartment, then I eat while watching Cavett with Lee Strasburg, then jerk off rather quickly with porno and rubber bands, then at 12 finish "A Separate Reality" until 1, when I'm too sleepy to do light-work, but instantly fall asleep on my back while trying to do so. Don't know exactly when Dennis is coming into town, either on the 4th or early on the 5th.

DIARY 12662

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 4. Wake at 7:35 to the debris thundering down the chute on Pierrepont Street and birds chirping away, so I put in earplugs and go back to sleep, getting out of bed at 10 with an INCREDIBLE phantasmagoria of dreams remembered that I take notes on (see DIARY 12661), then shit and read New York from 10 to 10:15, actual timing, then type these two pages by 10:30. Decide to finish the stuff that's on my mind, so I start updating the movie list with the pages newly-finished from the datebook volume, but with phone calls from Arnie from 11:15 to 12 about nothing much and phoning Joan Ann to find that she'll be delivering the index tomorrow, I don't finish by 1 when "Johnny Guitar" starts, and it's an idiosyncratic nominee for the best film of the US, since it's Mercedes MacCambridge hollering for Joan Crawford to get out of town before the train builds a depot in her town, and finally they hang one of a gang, almost hang her, but Sterling Hayden cuts the rope and saves her until she can shoot loud-mouthed Mercedes. Americana all the way. Continue updating the movie list while watching the movie and having lunch of chili, and then at 3 start typing new pages, but decide that I MUST come up with the new schedule for the trip, so I get one done, phone Michael with the new schedule, phone Azak to leave word, and then get back to typing to get a call from Azak, who wants now to take the Windjammer cruise and there's one available, and then from Michael, who says we have to stay more than 24 hours! Curse Eastern and vow to call them tomorrow, and then try to type more pages in the movie list. But it's 8 and I haven't finished yet, and watch Nova's "In the Event of Nuclear Catastrophe," which is pretty bad, and Paul Taylor doing "Esplanade" (not as violent as I remember it) and "Runes" just as boring as I remember it until 10, then a boring special on Jacques Lipchitz working in carrara marble, then Paul Weiss on Dick Cavett's show, and then I start reading "Journey to Ixtlan" again, and compare various dates with various volumes of Castaneda's works, and get into bed at 1:05 to do light-work vaguely well by 1:30, but I'm waiting for Dennis to call, it's cold outside, and I feel like I haven't been DOING anything!

DIARY 12663

THURSDAY, JANUARY 5. Again wakened at 7:30 by construction-rattle, and have a vague dream-memory of cruising handsome guys living in a split-level hotel room and AGAIN thinking "It's Wednesday and classes started Monday and I haven't been to them yet, and where's my schedule?" in THAT old dream. Up at 8:45 to write in date-notes in the front of the 4 Castaneda books, and then determine to finish the movie list by the time Dennis calls, which he does about 10, saying he's going in to work and will be here at 6. I finish the 8 or so pages, count up what needs to be counted, and then get the laundry out at 12, finding two more letters from the Voice ad, and find that I can't get a CORPORATE account in the SAVINGS bank and the COMMERCIAL banks say I have to register the name for $25. But Manny-Hanny offers to give me $1 for the money order, so I take him up on it and hope no one else sends a check. Nothing yet from Advocate. Buy groceries for Dennis's dinner, decide I don't want to watch "Little Caesar" that's marked, and then have lunch about 1 with chili, while reading the Soho Weekly News which has my ad again, and then go through the rest of the mail, water the plants, and after updating my booklist yesterday when "Jimbo" arrived, it STILL seems I spend lots of time doing nothing, and finish this page for the day at 4:05, having spent 10:40-12:15 on the phone with Eastern Airlines, then giving the revisions to Michael, and THEN he calls to say we're WAIT-LISTED for 5 flights! And of course they won't let us go unless they're ALL cleared! So it'll depend on the crucial Orlando-Baltimore connection. Got to start WORKING! Put on Wagner to listen to to wash the dishes, then get out at 4:30 to try some of the Court Street places for a candy thermometer, but have to go to A&S, which has a glorious one for $5.39, and then buy a gallon of white wine and pick up the laundry and get home by 5:15 to take a shower and shave and put dishes and clothes away and sit for light-work at 6:15 but Dennis buzzes at 6:30, comes up cool and kissy with a basket of paté, mustard, cornichons, and pumpernickel bread and nuts from Bloomingdale's as "Tree's Christmas gift to him (along with boots for Cathy, embroidered blouse for art director, etc), and he wants to get into sex, so he smokes the joint and he SHOOTS on my stomach to my chest by just rubbing, and we cuddle, then I put on the chickens at 8:45 and they're not quite done enough by 10:15, but we have that and peas and carrots and salad, and he's full enough, we have kir, then he smokes more, we have sex again from 11 to 11:30, and I come first this time, with effort, and we're to sleep EARLY for a good change.

DIARY 12665

FRIDAY, JANUARY 6. Alarm goes at 7:30, but we'd both been lying awake, and the construction sounds start instantly, and I'm out of bed at 8 to chase the chirping bird from the fire escape and put on hamburgers that I fry crisp on the outside and raw on the inside, finish the last zucchini and the peas and carrots, and he's had enough to leave at 9:15, and then I shit and get to the dream that I re-remembered this morning (see DIARY 12664) and finish 2 pages at 9:55! Glad to see that I have noodles, so I don't have to go out for anything, but I'm waiting for the delivery of the windows that Mrs. Johnson said would take place today. Just about to get to the index when I spot the article from New Yorker on "Thinking" by Hannah Ahrent, and even though I count pages to find that it's the equivalent of a 186-page book, I'm determined to finish it before starting on anything else, so I sit down about 10:30 and start reading, conscious of the bells ringing at 12, then continue through until about 2, finishing it off, and postponing the task of sorting through the scrapbook stuff by putting what's packing my desk drawer into the "to be filed" folder. Then Rolf calls and tells me that United Asbestos is going down again, so I put in another order with Larry Price for 1000 shares at 11/16, and then phone Dick Sime and Ginny Croft, both of whom are out sick for the day, for work for Margo's friend, and then leave word with Susan, who wants to go to the bank. Also, Arnold calls with the schedule for "Star Trek" for the week, and I'll have to get the plots from him too. Work on the index from 3:30 to 3:40, when Susan calls and asks me to send her his resume, and then from 3:50 to 5:30, when I mark the first 113 pages at a rate of about a page a minute, good. Then put on the tuna-fish casserole for dinner and step into the shower and am just shaving when Dennis enters at 6:10, right on time, and makes kir with the cassis and white wine, and then we sit down and have that and red beets and some of Art's pie, and then leave at 7:15 for Brooklyn College for an AWFUL Metropolitan Opera Ballet Ensemble (see DIARY 12666) and then get back at 10:30 to watch the end of "Walking Tall Part 2," which is a real slow bore, ending with him shooting someone and then the postscript that Sheriff Buford Pusser (pronounced PUS-er) was killed in his car in 1974 with no one around. Then Dennis smokes, I burn a hole in the sheet and cover, and we have sex until 12:15, he doing lots of stroking and says I feel very good for some reason, and then we're into the living room to watch "Forbidden Planet" with good effects and poor color and good work with Walter Pidgon, ending with the Krel-machines exploding and Anne Francis saying that father will "remind us that, after all, we're not God." Bed sad/happy at 3 am.

DIARY 12667

SATURDAY, JANUARY 7. The doorbell rings at 9:30 and I'm out to find the workmen needing to measure sizes, so I have to let them into the bedroom, telling Dennis to stay under the covers. They'll be back in an hour, so he gets up and showers and we have breakfast of scrambled eggs after I put all the plants away from the windows, and then at 10:30 the mailman rings to send up John's mail, my record from the Met at last, and a last Christmas card from Doug Oxley to put me over 40 for the year, having sent out 44 in all. And more pages from Endorphins, but not the finish of it, drat. Then the workmen come in about 11:15 and Dennis leaves after I make reservations for Diane Boardman for tonight. Then get down to the index at 11:25 and mark through until 3:45, taking off about 20 minutes to check on the windows so they're not cracked, to see where the cold breeze is coming from, and I get out the heater to keep my feet warm finally. Then heat up the last of the chili and read more Donoso, and then start typing the cards from 4:30 to 5:55, getting 573 done, which is pretty good, but I'll have to check back if the rate is OK. Then I sit and do light-work for a certain time, seeming to find that most of the tension has worn off the Cosmic Mother energy, and then just answer the phone from Dennis at 6:50 asking me to bring along a bottle of poppers for him this evening, and then get into the shower and shave and leave at 7:15 to get there just at 7:45 and actually find him there AHEAD of me, so we get the last seats in the first row on the left side for Diane Boardman and Dance Company (see DIARY 12668) that unfortunately runs to 10:10, so we subway up, saying goodbye to Debbie who runs to catch her bus, and he gets yogurt and I buy the Times and the Voice to check that my ad is still running, and he turns on TV to find that the Woodward interview with Cavett has started already and it's only a repeat, so then he makes noodles and hamburger in a chili-like thing with some of his new implements and we eat about 11:30, orange juice and rum tasting very good, and then we lie together and listen to music on the floor until about 1 am, when I say I'm very tired, and so is he, so we just crawl into bed and go to sleep, after I demand he put water up on the radiator to help control the dry heat in the apartment.

DIARY 12670

SUNDAY, JANUARY 8. Wake with a very dry nose and moisten it, then lay for a bit and decide to try light-work, and start at 9:30 and then get through it nicely before the phone rings at 10:50, and it's his folks. I remember a dream that stays with me until evening (see DIARY 12669), and we watch an interview with Ross and Kaye about "The Turning Point" which shows much of the dancing, though they NEGATE all they say: they say dancer moves in frame, and mostly frame follows and centers dancer; shoot from bottom they say, and in some cases they're even ABOVE, with distracting shots into wings, into audience, to character's faces, but it's STILL better than nothing. Then watch Beverly Sills interviewing herself and Jason Robards about O'Neill, and she says she HATES the US quota system that won't allow British actors in American plays, then DEMANDS that British TV accept US plays in exchange for English plays! Then read the Times while Dennis fiddles around, have breakfast of good french toast about 1, but then he's aching, dripping, dying for sex, so he gets out popper and fills it too full and gets into his cock for a LONG time, and we lay until 2:45, when I get up and dress and get home about 3:30, still working on the puzzle, and finish with the puzzle about 6, much to my disgust, and then water the plants and decide to get the pages done in the index, typing the dream first, and then finishing these 5 by 7:15 pm. Type cards (337) from pages 201-317 from 7:20 to 8:10, then put on the tuna to warm up while I mark more pages from 8:25 to 9, when I stop and take wine and pie and tuna to my chair to watch "I, Claudius" with the outrageous dance in gold by John Hurt as Caligula, and then I don't feel like working, so I continue watching "Visions" with "Life Among the Lowly" a strange combination of a young man and an old man playing the same person (and I wondered if they WERE the same person until I saw them together in a scene), rehabilitated by Dorothea Dix in her interest in the "pauper poor insane" at the turn of the century, but it was intermixed with SONGS in a Brechtian manner, but rather nicely done and with the bare breasts and buttocks, captivating television. That's on until 11:30 and I get into bed at 12 to start a Reunion in Consciousness that goes partway through by about 12:30, when I doze off, and CONTINUES THROUGH THE NIGHT as I wake, move it another step, and doze off again!

DIARY 12671

MONDAY, JANUARY 9. Out of bed at 9:30, again amazed that I seem to need so much sleep, then phone Ruth Adams and get some more information about the pathology of animals index, then phone Michael and say that we have to have SOME confirmed flights for the trip, which he tries to arrange, getting SOME new flights confirmed, and then Alice Duskey calls and chats and accepts calls from Joan Ann de Mattia, Joan Sumner, and Ian; Dick Sime calls and chats about his back and the fact that Holt has no outside work now and he's even working crossword puzzles at work. Get to the index at 10:35 and work until 10:45 when the phone rings with some of those calls, and somewhat later Margo calls back to give Alice's number to Ian and gets told that the resume has gone off to Susan MacMahon (who gets it on Tuesday, when she calls me to remind her WHAT I wanted her to do with it, and Ginny Croft doesn't handle freelance people anymore). Then Bernie Mazie called about 10:30 and wanted to come over for lunch, so I asked him over and he arrived about 11:45 and stayed until 4:30: eating Dennis's paté and gherkins for lunch with his mustard, Art's pie, and my wine, which I didn't have any of since this was my brunch for the day and I had to work. He talked about his 5 weeks at Naropa Institute during the summer in Boulder which has become like an eastern city (New York, not Benares), and his time in Denver, which is very gay, and how much he liked Berkeley, Sausalito, and Monterey on his trip THERE. He's going to quit his job after HIS nine-year cycle after getting his master's degree in 1979, sometime in May, he figures, and doesn't know what he's going to do after that. Work on the index enough to mark through page 433, then figure I MUST put the plants back, so I start working on those, then decide I MUST wash dishes, which I do between 7:15 and 8, missing the first bit of the National Geographic Special on Louis Leakey, who REALLY didn't want to die at 69 with all his efforts in anthropology, and HE started the three ape-women on their chimp, gorilla, and orangutan work! That's over at 9, I don't see in time that "Car Wash" is being done, and I continue cleaning and vacuuming and sorting out plant fronds (that, alas, seem to have died) and putting them back up till 11, when I turn on Cavett and phone Dennis when I see it's Alberta Hunter on his program, which I watch till 11:30, then watch a VERY studied and VERY introspective (from Julie Harris's Frankie's point of view) movie of "Member of the Wedding" and get to bed at 1:30, doing a VERY sketchy light-work, listening to 50-mph wind howl at 8F out.

DIARY 12672

TUESDAY, JANUARY 10. Wake at 8:30 and doze until 9:30 (forgot to mention that Bruce phoned yesterday, too, to take up time on that instrument), and fertilize the plants, mooning over the broken purple passion fronds and seeing all the ICE that's formed in the wind-chill-factor of -25 temperatures outside, and then shit and think to clear out the refrigerator, so I make hamburger with mushroom soup to get rid of that, and four bowls of salad to take care of that, and debate going out, but it's too COLD, for groceries, and put the dishes away and have brunch at 11:30, reading more Donoso, and then brush my teeth and get everything up to date by sending out a couple of bills and writing to one of the JOYI people who didn't send $1, and then discover that I didn't do my page yesterday, so that's 2 pages that I finish by 12:50, having gotten down for the mail and gotten rid of THAT for the day, anyway, by this time. At 12:55 I start marking pages through 506, taking till 2:45, too long, and then from 2:45 to 3:30 type pages 319-399 and from 3:30 to 4:10 type pages 400-506, getting 237 and 236 cards respectively. Very few phone calls today: called Dennis to see if he wanted to come out to dinner since it was too cold and windy to go shopping, but he has plans for tonight so I'll see him tomorrow night, which makes a nice relief. Mark pages 507-607 from 4:10 to 6:55, quite slow, but from 7 to 8:25 type 551 cards from it, so it's worth it, and then find that what SHOULD have been pages 608 and 609 are missing, so the whole thing might have to be repaged! Then put on the hamburger for dinner and start on the Hepatotoxicity index, rather difficult getting through the first 60 pages in about an hour and a half, though I took time off to stir the stuff, so I just marked it BACK to 1:10, for a total working time of 8:35 for the day, good enough. Then get a salad and wine and a bowl of hamburger and watch Edwin Newman in "Land of Hype and Glory" about promoting singing groups, movies, books, and everything else, until 11, when I sit down at 11:05 and do light-work until 11:30, then get into bed to stare at the ceiling until 12, just thinking, and start another Reunion in Consciousness that doesn't get anywhere, so I must fall asleep as early as 12:10, thankful that the apartment has been QUITE warm enough ALL day, though the temperature was about 20F.

DIARY 12675

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 11. Wake with an incredibly detailed dream in memory (see DIARY 12673-12674) about a Harlem park, and then can't figure WHAT time it is, and it's 8:25, so I start on light-work in bed at 8:30 and get out of bed at 9:10, content to have done it for the day of my new class. Clean out the humidifier which is SWIMMING with slimy moulds, filling that, and then phone Ruth Adams about the pathological Pathology book, and she DIDN'T know about it, so EVERYTHING will be checked and repaged and she'll call me back this afternoon. Type these 3 pages by 10:20, feeling hungry enough to have breakfast soon. Do an hour marking on the HEP index, interrupted by a call from Apollo saying they only have 20,000 green and salmon cards, and then I go out to find two more requests for JOYI with one more check, shop for cards and find none, buy two more packs of second sheets, and buy groceries, getting back to look at mail until 12:35, and finish that hour by 1:40, and I guess I had breakfast or brunch during that time, too. Had phoned Ruth Adams with the news of the missing galley from 9:50 to 10, then she phoned back at 1:40 to say that there'd been an EARLIER error with pages 420 and 421 missing, but by chance I hadn't torn those strips of cards apart, so I could increase all the relevant pages by two. Then in renumbering the REST of the pages I have, I find that there'd been ANOTHER error with an added page 659 that didn't exist, which could take two pages AWAY from chapter 10, bringing back the total difference to 2 pages. Phone her back with that, then continue with marking pages 609-711 from 3:40 to 5:40, and then phone Azak to bring him up to date on the trip. We talk, then I shower and shave for the first time since Saturday, then get the GREAT idea to phone him back at 6:45 and tell him to start making plans for a SECOND trip from June 10 on, finding when a GOOD Windjammer cruise will take place, and he agrees, and hangs up at 7:10. I finish putting things away (ate something in there, too---OH, had PIZZA at Queen for "breakfast" at 11:45, then rest of hamburger and peanut butter at 5:40, then watch first part of "Camille Was No Lady" on "Havoc" from 7:30 to 7:45, then dash to just miss a subway but get to Actualism on time at 8:20 ANYWAY for a good lesson (see DIARY 12676) until 10:30, then buy two bottles of wine and get up to Dennis's to find that he's been RIPPED off (see DIARY 12678), and that depresses me so much I don't sleep so well, after waiting until 12 for chicken breasts in butter with mushrooms-beets marinade and his first cherry pie till 1, then sex till 1:45, both shot.

DIARY 12679

THURSDAY, JANUARY 12. Seems that I've been awake all night worrying about Dennis's ripper-off (see DIARY 12678), and he shuts the alarm off and seems to go right back to sleep, too. Then he's up, showering, back, and I tell him I haven't slept very well, and he makes eggs for breakfast and we have more of the mushrooms and beets with toast and he nails up the bathroom window as I'd asked him to. We're out late and on the crowded platform by 10 am, and down to 42nd and then to BMT to 28th, and across to Apollo to pick up two cartons of cards by 10:15, paying $108, and lug them to the Lexington, to the express, watching a heavenly Sarah Richman High-er with long lashes and full jeans, and then to Borough Hall to pant back to 7th Avenue, then rest three times (4 really) back to my place, finally carrying them up the stairs one by one, and then phone Dennis at 11 to hear he wants to come over tonight, too, phone Steve Abramson to tell him to mail the rest of the hep index pages, then unwrap packages, get calls from Susan and Joan Ann about the clicker and Dennis, try to catch the last 5 minutes of "Ryan's Hope" but no Malcolm appears, phone Arnie and talk for about an hour about his resume results: one response, phone for Windows on the World reservations for Saturday, telling Dennis and Susan about it, Madge calls and says that Werner had to go to the HOSPITAL his flu was so severe he couldn't breathe, and then Mrs. Johnson who'll be home to give Rita the keys when she comes in tomorrow night when Dennis and I are seeing "Touch of a Poet." Then get down to these 4 diary pages and the Actualism page by 7:45, LATE, having wasted two hours watching Kirk Douglas in "Dark Carnival" about "Ace in the Hole," by Billy Wilder about a guy who finally dies because they DRILL rather than GET him out. Turn on TV and settle in for "Quackser Fortune Has a Cousin in the Bronx" at 9 to find some awful Munich-Rome-Paris-dubbed co-production, so I get back to marking pages 712-887 from 8:05 to 10:50, which is 175 pages in 167 minutes, so I feel good about it. Then shower, but don't shave, and make tuna and spinach noodles in time to eat them at 12 while watching "Scarecrow," which is better than reviews say: good idiosyncratic performances by Al Pacino, touching in many parts, though not when being "attacked" by made-up Michael Lynch as a faggotty trustee; and Gene Hackman, particularly with his busty Frenchy of Ann Wedgeworth, too good for her part, but still believable. It was episodic, but what isn't? That's over at 1:40, and I'm still thinking Dennis might be in, so I do my 70 minutes on HEP from 1:40 to 2:50, then leave door open and light on for him and QUICKLY do light-work and sleep at 3 am.

DIARY 12680

FRIDAY, JANUARY 13. Wake at 9:25 to construction noises and start light-work but the mailman buzzes at 9:40 and I'm down to read NGTF mail and find the end of Endorphins, the first of the "trilogy" to be complete. Strip the bed for Rita and Denny, sad to see the snow swirling down outside, maybe blocking our view tomorrow night, read New York while shitting, and finish 1 page by 10:35. Terry Kornak calls 10:40-10:55 and says she's sent the last pages, and how should she do the table of contents. I tell her and she says she'll do it, and that I'm a genius. I guess that's the third person this week. Then type cards for pages 1-100 of Hep index from 10:55-11:55, getting a good 348 cards, then continue typing from 11:55 to 12:55 the rest of them, being interrupted for 10 minutes by Azak talking about the trip, saying we should go next Christmas, and I say OK, and then for 5 minutes by Michael with the great information that all the flights have been confirmed, and maybe even the flight from Port of Spain to St. Croix will come through. I want to do some more marking, but I start taking down the plants that died when I put them back up after the windows were put in, and then Arnie came in at exactly 1 pm, causing me to miss "Ryan's Hope" because he'd said he'd be here between 12:15 and 12:30, and he gives me TV Guides and stuff and a transparent portfolio for stuff, and since he's keeping on talking, I ask him if he wants to stay for lunch, so he gives me two rolls that I make with the hamburger, and he likes his thin and very well done. He helps me with the making of the Robinson's bed after we look at the stuff under the mattress and I get out the map of St. Vincent, and then Rebekah calls and I say I'll call her back, and then I DON'T. Rolf calls and wants to make a delivery, but when he leaves at 2:45, I go out with him to check for no mail in the PO Box, send a check to the account, and pick up some groceries for Rita and Denny, then get back at 3:30 and find that Rolf hadn't been here yet. He comes over about 4 and talks about computers after selling me 100 for a check, then Pope comes over to pick up some movies (after John returned the magazines this morning!), and the place is BUSY. Then Dennis finally calls from his photographing session on the island and we'll meet at the theater, and it's 5:45 so I chase Rolf out and get into the shower and shave and get out at 6:45 to get to the theater at 7:25 and meet Dennis (after giving the keys to Mrs. Johnson for Rita, putting a note on the bell), and "Touch of a Poet" is pretty poor (see DIARY 12681), out at 10:30 and eat in Pergola des Artistes, no Rita, sex TWICE to 3:30 pm!!

DIARY 12682

SATURDAY, JANUARY 14. Home to Dennis's about 1 am, literally today, and with the good rosé from the filling dinner at Pergola (hors d'oeuvres not very good, onion soup passable; his beef bourguignon tasting odd, my liver VERY tender and oddly PINK; and the cheesecake was creamy and the mousse was almost milky, and for $24 it wasn't THAT bad, but it wasn't that good, either. I say I want some cherry pie but I'm really not HUNGRY, and then get into sex, lying together at the end after both of us have come, comfortable in the extreme heat of the apartment, and then Dennis wakes again about 3 and insists on having sex, though I say nothing, scarcely open my weary eyes, and only twist his nipples, and then we crawl into bed at last to sleep. Wake and think and try a bit of light-work, and then get into cock and look at the watch and it's 11:20, so he puts the phone off while he comes AGAIN, after SPEWING OUT SEMEN without having an orgasm, for a great new experience, so it's 4 times in about 10 hours, and then Rita calls and says they got in after midnight and had to bother Mrs. Johnson twice with the front door, and then Dennis makes some scrambled eggs and I leave about 12 to get there at 12:45 and recommend they go to the Brooklyn Museum (and I'd read the Times while he talked with his folks on the phone and made breakfast), which they do, and then I sit and do the puzzle, then shower and shave to get finished before they get back, and Dennis calls at 4:15 to say that the subway is delayed and he'll meet us there at 5, and they get in at 4:20 and I sit and finish the former diary page and do another one only, then finish dressing and we leave about 4:40 to cross the bridge and park in the basement and ride to the lobby for our trip to the 107th floor and WINDOWS ON THE WORLD (see DIARY 12683). Mediocre food but the view cleared up in time for great looking, and then we're back here for some Grand Marnier and everyone changes clothes and we're out again because Rita wants to see Alice in Central Park, and we're up the FDR Drive and off at 60th and up through the park to the parking lot, and through the crunchy snow with his flashlight past the Metropolitan Museum after climbing around Alice, then up to Cleopatra's Needle, which is TOTALLY a ruin, and then back to the car to go around the northern end of the park and off at 88th and Broadway, directing them down Broadway to Chambers and the Brooklyn Bridge, and BUY TIMES, then to Dennis's for MORE sex and bed about 2 am.

DIARY 12684

SUNDAY, JANUARY 15. THIS is the day we sexed until 3:30, woke at 11:20, and did the puzzle and he talked with his folks (see DIARY 12682), while YESTERDAY during the day I merely finished "Journey to Ixtlan" and then thumbed through all four volumes to correlate chapters and pages back and forth and back and forth, taking a LONG time trying to understand how he could write about one thing without getting into another, and then actually started skimming "Tales of Power" again to come back up to date with him. But THIS morning he only made coffee, since I remembered the Promenade Restaurant and phoned them for reservations at 1, and then we had sex again (VERY tiring, though Dennis LOVES it!) and then talked to his folks with his come dribbling down his chest. Then he's into the shower and out at 12:40 and we make good connections and get there before they do, having enjoyed a pornographic bookshop. The breakfast is as long and filling as dinner last night, and Denny insists on paying for us all, and we leave at 3 for them to subway up to the Museum of Natural History and find that Radio City Music Hall is closed until March 2, so they don't see "Pete's Dragon" and he gets to hear 3/4 of the Superbowl on the radio. Dennis reminds me that today's the day for Susan's dinner, so I get home at 3:30 and finish the puzzle and shave with an electric because I don't feel like showering or shaving with water, AND get out at 5:45 to Susan's at last at 6:15, and the two dogs are fucking Dennis's legs, and Linda is involved in a conversation about the UN with Don, blond and hyper, and Tom looks stoned out of his skull and sexy as can be, and talks with us about various jobs, and I drop Lauren Bahr's name as a possible employer of their freelance capabilities in film. Have two bloody marys and four glasses of wine and lots of booze at the GREAT fun party (see DIARY 12685) until 11, and get out to the subway feeling soused and get home to cuddle with Dennis at 12, listening to Beegee's that makes him very water-eyed and cuddly and close, and then he drifts off and I'm feeling VERY sick, and write a note about it (see DIARY 12686) and end up with one of the worst hangovers that I've ever had, which colors the whole next few days (see DIARY 12687). Finally into bed at 2:30, literally nauseous when I turn my head, and sleep at last.

DIARY 12688

MONDAY, JANUARY 16. Alarm rings at 7:30 and Dennis hardly moves, and gets to the bathroom and then comes back to bed to say that HE has a terrible hangover, too, and we lay together until the buzzer goes at 9:15 and I leap to let in the mailman, and then again at 9:45 the buzzer goes and I get down to the messenger and then open the door to get all the mail. Bring it back up and hope to get to some normalcy by looking through the mail, but at the end of the marvelous Windjammer brochure I'm almost falling-down ill again, so I crawl back into bed and chat with Dennis about our plight. He leaves about 12, saying that he'll feel better by 13th Street or he'll just go home. I stay in bed until about 3, then determine I HAVE to get up, and find what days I'd been sick before, and finding 11 of them in 13 years, phone Norma at work and she calls back in the evening and talks about how I'm not an alcoholic, but I might have a problem. Pope calls and tries to get some solutions to his crossword puzzle, Bruce calls and can only talk a minute, and I call Michael to find that the fare is $371, so I should send him a check, and I leave word with Azak to phone me. Have two scrambled eggs about 1, hoping it'll sooth my stomach, and then get up to put things back in order and change into clothes to try to make something of the day, talking with Arnie, Susan, and Dennis. DID get to watch Malcolm Groome on "Ryan's Hope" this morning, too! Then figured I'd TRY some indexing, and marked from 5-7:05 when Norma called and we chatted, and then from 7:40-8:25 to finish 180 pages, or half of it, feeling better about doing that. Then put on hamburger to cook and get dinner together for watching an AWFUL program on Channel 7 about American Music Awards, with AWFUL people and acts: Glen Campbell and Stevie Wonder and Dolly Parton and Conquistadors and David Soul and Natalie Cole and I THINK "A Tisket, A Tasket" was Sarah Vaughan? Eat some cookies and drink apple juice, and I actually got out Tom and CAME before 5, too, so I didn't feel THAT badly, but I DID, moaning and moping and terrible. Didn't like Moynihan on Cavett so I turned that off and went to bed at 11:30, thinking I wouldn't be able to sleep, so I started reading "Relativity" until it palled, then "Live Gold" until 12:30, and that made me tired enough to fall right to sleep, HAVING to feel better the next day!

DIARY 12689

TUESDAY, JANUARY 17. Also took down the rent check last night, so that she couldn't wreck me with a window supplement THIS month! Wake at 7:40 with construction sounds, but not out of bed until 9:50, having done light-work but still feeling pretty cruddy. Dress and clean up some of the stuff around the place, and then watch "Ryan's Hope" again WITHOUT Malcolm, and get into the next one, but shut them off is disgust. Read the New Yorker article on Stoppard, and feel well enough to work, but just so CONFUSED that I first sit down and talk about my mental anguish (see DIARY 12687). Then Azak calls about 10:30 and says the trip has to be postponed a number of weeks, and then he calls back at noon, after I read all the flights to Michael for changing, to say that the Feb. 6 date is still good, and then I'm down at 12:15 for the mail and get a letter from my mother talking about a trip to Japan, so I talk to Michael getting another picture on THAT trip, which adds to my mental anguish. Cook some hamburger and phone Lauren Bahr to find she doesn't need people for awhile, Susan to say I feel better, Azak with the price of the insurance, and Michael a lot. Feeling NOT very together and NOT very organized, but type 8 pages by 4:20---day BEGINS! Then decide I must tell Terry about the two page 71's in Endorphins and leave word for her, then leave word for Steve Abramson to phone me because I find I'm missing pages from HIM. Terry calls and says she'll blank folio the page, or number it 70a if she has to, but it can't concern me, this is a book that wants to get out as soon as possible. Type 412 cards from 4:45 to 6:10, then continue to mark the rest from 6:10-9, taking time out to watch awful Gary Hollis on MORE awful "Three's Company," then from 9:40 to 10:15, and then despite the time taken to typing the final 391 cards from 10:15 to 11:35, having put on the smoked pork for two hours, but it STILL isn't done, and I have that and applesauce and some of Rita's pickles and then start editing from 12:05 to 2:30, doing about half of it, feeling good about it though going slowly, and get into bed surprised to find the local temperature at 64 without my having to put on the heater, and I sort of turn on the power ray and quickly drift off to sleep after getting up in the cold to make sure the heater's off, so I must get to sleep at something like 2:55, to make sleeping hours evener.

DIARY 12691

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 18. Wake with a furious dream of screaming at Mom (see DIARY 12690) and look over the side to be surprised that it's 10:55, so I've slept 8 hours exactly with no problem at all, possibly due to the shock of seeing my unshaven, greenish-gray, graying-hair face in the mirror just before I went to bed last night. Up and shit a load, then type 2 pages by 11:30 LATE! Finish editing by 12:05 from 11:30, then start in immediately with typing the pages, and type straight through from 1:30 to 4:15, going well and doing about 15 pages per hour, or 41 pages in 2.75 hours. Then proofread and edit from 4:15 to 5:15, and put everything away and figure out the bill and feel very relieved to get down to just two indexes, and even figure out that I have TIME for both of them if I put in 8.5 hours per day every day between now and the day I leave for the trip. Then shower and shave while trying to get in touch with Dennis, but he's left work for lunch and hadn't gotten back, and his service answers his home phone number. Shaving is good for the first time in three days, that's the way it should always be done. Warm up the pork for dinner and have that to eat while finishing out the "Obscene Bird of Night" that had been sitting on the kitchen table for about 6 weeks, and then get back to type up the bill and the error list from the Endorphin index and get it ready to take in to Raven tomorrow when I'm returning from Dennis's, to REALLY get it out of my hair. Then work from 7 to 7:30 on catching up with the new chapters that'd been sent me over the weekend by Ruth Adams for Pathology, and then see the first 15 minutes of "Havoc" with Airship disasters, and it was the AKRON, in San Diego, that hoisted three men into the air, two of whom fell on film, the latter bicycling wildly but not shown crashing into the ground, and the third was pulled aboard later---WHY didn't they just LOWER the ship?? Then dash out at 7:45 and AGAIN just miss a Manhattan-bound train, doing light-work in the station, but get there by 8:20, last one, for a mediocre class (see DIARY 12692) with Winston again, then sign up for a body session with Cathy and phone Dennis to find he's there, to his place at 11 for spaghetti and meat sauce and my first glass of wine since Sunday, and then we have sex and he gets me VERY hot and I say to just use his hand to bring me off nicely, and he DOES, to both our pleasures. Bed 1.

DIARY 12693

THURSDAY, JANUARY 19. Alarm goes off at 7:30 and he comes back to bed and lays for awhile, but then gets up to make coffee and shower. When he's shaving the phone rings at 8:20 from Cathy saying she doesn't know if she can get the keys from Joan Ann's doorman: I say "Call the doorman," and she does and she can and she makes it 11 am. I shower after a tiny breakfast of scrambled eggs with awful uncooked whites inside it (and the ORANGE JUICE with the AWFUL wine last night was PERFECT!), and he leaves and I get out about 10 to get down to Raven at 10:40 and give the Endorphins index to Terry and talk to Laura Kosden but she'd only stayed in Club Mediterrané on Martinique, but I talk to Rita Scheman and she'll talk to me later by phone. Leave at 10:50 after xeroxing cartoons and subway to 14th and get up to the apartment at 11:05, have tea, chat to 11:15, then have a good body session (see DIARY 12694) with Cathy for $3, and we talk more until 1, when I phone Dennis and say we'll have to see the 5:40 show, which he says is OK, and I decide not to go home, but walk up to Barnes and Noble and buy books on Olympics ($4), US pictures (50), Tantra ($2), Star Trek ($4), and leave at 3 having thoroughly covered the store, now content there are no "hidden" finds for me to look for, have "the best" Blimpie which is so thin in ALL ingredients I can hardly taste it, so the pastrami IS best, and then walk down to the Strand by 4 to look through all THEIR books, but don't have enough money to buy a marvelous book on John Martin for $6, only a Bradbury for $3.50, then out at 5:30 to walk down to St. Marks and drink water in the john to greet Dennis at 5:35, then sit for "Sullivan's Travels" which is VERY confused: first train-fight a FILM, then the comedy of "trying to get out of Hollywood," then Veronica Lake silly as a boy, then getting knocked over the head and accused of killing himself to find himself, a mélange of comedy and tragedy and laughter, then "Palm Beach Story," which I don't remember at ALL, with Claudette Colbert trying to get away from failed architect Joel McCrea with billionaire Rudy Vallee and his marvelous sister, Mary Astor, but everyone ending with their TWINS to marry, and out at 8:50 to find it snowing heavily, BMT home to buy muffins (Dennis does since he doesn't want to carry my books), warm up the pork at 9:30, he showers, I make dinner and watch a rather boring "I, Claudius" while he reads Soho and eats, and it's over at 11:15 and he just gets into bed while I turn off all the lights and wash face and brush teeth, and I say "I can't tell if you want to play," and he says "Let's go to sleep," so light-work till 12.

DIARY 12695

FRIDAY, JANUARY 20. This morning he sets the alarm for 7, maybe for sex originally, but he lays until about 7:45 then gets up to shower and shave and I stagger up about 8 to finish the paté with him, have half a grapefruit with sugar, and sauté some of the mushrooms for scrambled eggs with muffins. Look outside to see snow BLOWING and FLYING all over the place, about a foot out, and I turn on the 8 am report and IF it doesn't turn to rain, as it might this evening, there might be snow up to 14", which is FABULOUS, and I'm so glad Rita and Denny have the tickets to the matinee tomorrow, so THEY know what to do about everything. Dennis leaves earlier at 9, and I settle down to putting things away and get to the "Star Trek Concordance," and find that I have the TV Guide to ALL the plots, which delights me no end. But it takes a while (until after noon) for me to finish with that, and then I start kicking myself for not working on indexes. Ruth Adams calls and says someone will be coming HOME with the rest of my pages, and then I decide to have the last smelly hamburger cooking while I type diary pages. Eat from 2 to 2:15, browsing through the book on the Caribbean, then decide to go out, and it's a MARVELOUS snowy day (see DIARY 12696), but the bank is closed so there's no spare cash! Spend $4.17 of $4.50, call Dennis and he's going to the bank anyway, call Arnie and he says the Governor declared a bank holiday, then Ruth calls and says the plays have been cancelled for tonight! Have the snow to write about and the Actualism page still left at 3:40 pm LATE! Then talk to Arnold, for what must be over an hour; he has cheesecake to spare, and about "Sullivan's Travels." Tell Dennis to get to a bank MACHINE, type Actualism page, finish 5 by 4:55. Buzzer rings exactly at 5 with the guy from Springer, and rather than have him come up I go down, get the rest of it, and am just in the process of putting that away when the buzzer rings again and it's Rita and Denny, having not had school, they left about 3 and got in about 6, and we talk about the snow and think of going to a local place to eat, but then I convince them that since they have nothing to do this evening, they might as well "spend" it at a fancy restaurant, since that's part of NYC. Le Cygne is full but La Caravelle has room, make reservations for 8, phone and leave word with Dennis, and he GETS there about 8:30, but the meals aren't the VERY best (see DIARY 12697). Out at 11:30 and we go uptown and they go downtown, we have sex at Dennis's and get to sleep about 1, and I probably tried to do light-work but fell asleep before finishing.

DIARY 12698

SATURDAY, JANUARY 21. Wake with alertness at 8, and decide to go home without any breakfast, Dennis still in bed. Dress and out and home at 9:15, to type the rest of the pages I had marked, while they get up and eat breakfast, and mark more until 10:20, when they want directions for their shopping at Barney's and Barnes and Noble, lunch, and show, with Burlington Mill afterward maybe. They're out at 10:40 and I continue marking to 1000 by 1:50, then go down to find no mail delivery, look out at FABULOUS 13.5 inches of snow, and return to type those pages from 2:05 to 3:05, when I stop for the end of the ham for lunch, and from 3:50-4:20, and then get to marking from 4:20-7:10, only 123 pages, but there's a lot of stuff in it. They're back at that point, having spend $400 on his clothes which are being altered and sent to Ohio, and lots of books from Barnes and Noble, which they loved, and now they're hungry. Have some Grand Marnier to introduce Denny to it, and decide to get out to Bilqis, which they love for the price and the food, and it's nicely crowded so it looks to be a success. Back at 9:15 in time to watch the end of the Science Fiction Film Awards, and I jokingly remark that we'll go see the winner, since we'd been thinking of "Star Wars" or "Close Encounters" for the evening with nothing to do, and "Star Wars" wins, to my surprise, and I try to phone "Close Encounters" but it's busy (again we get second best, like Le Cygne being full last night), and "Star Wars" goes on at 8:45 and 11 (Dennis is at a Radio City Music Hall concert with a girlfriend), so we leave about 9:40 and get there about 10, and watch the last 45 minutes, which holds up very well, but the initial shocks seem to be gone, though they say it's like watching a different movie since they first saw it in a small theater with lousy sound. They love it, and even Rita looks more kindly on the little "cute" robots that she'd hated originally, but everyone looks so MADE-UP---probably to cover the zits! Rita dozes while we decide to see the last part again, and we can see duplicated shots, but the suspense still holds, and we're out at 1, walking through slush, and JUST get a subway, as we'd JUST gotten one on the way down, and get home to fall into bed about 1:50, tired, and I do light-work completely, which is nice, and then fall asleep about 2:30. After shitting, getting up to put a record album against the shade to keep out the light, and listening to them talking quietly in the bedroom for awhile.

DIARY 12699

SUNDAY, JANUARY 22. I'm awake at 10, surprised to have slept so long, and do a quick light-work session before getting up at 10:35 to start working on the marking again while they have breakfast and talk about what to do all day, and at 12:10 he's called the Hall of Science and they're open until 5, so we're out (so I only work 1:35 today!!!) and subway to Times Square, me finishing re-reading the end of "Tales of Power," really VERY good at the end, dense with good insights, and then out the #7 line to 111th Street and plow through the suburb-looking streets to the snowy field across which we plow for the Hall of Science, but things are pretty drab, exhibits are broken, things are chintzy, the planetarium show goes on at 2 for 50, about UFOs, but the ceiling isn't bright enough to be impressive, and we'd paid 75 to take the "Star Wars" moonship at the start, rather fun, and then look at models of NYC and bridges and sewage systems, and out about 4 to find we're down the wrong side for Terrace on the Park, if it's OPEN, and into the farm-zoo to try to find our way, Rita chasing a goose, and back to the subway and in to Grand Central and down to Canal Street and to the Silver Palace at 4:50, too late for the dim sum at noon-4, but we have GREAT chicken with black mushrooms and bamboo shoots, shrimp and cashews, and beef and snow peas, with a non-salty watercress and pork soup, and then out about 6:30, rather chilly from the cold place, though two parties were going on on either side, and out to wander the streets, looking at a temple, tacky, but nice incense, and at a few shops, and then back to the subway to get here to sort of plop around for about an hour while I read the Times, and then they leave about 8:15, and I work the puzzles until 9, for a good "I, Claudius" with Messalina finally getting her head cut off, and then I feel sexy and jerk off with porno spread all over the place until 11:30, but I still don't feel like sleeping, so I get out "Live Gold" from the shelf and finish THAT at about 1, sort of kicking myself, but I'm depressed because they took so much time away from my index, they really weren't BOWLED OVER by the town, and Denny will NEVER be a big-city boy, as he admits, and I'm feeling rather sorry for Rita, and rather sorry for myself, and rather sorry for Dennis for not having as much of me as he wants, and I get to sleep about 1, having done some light-work, but not all of it.

DIARY 12700

MONDAY, JANUARY 23. Up about 9, surprised that it's so late, and then the gas man rings about 9:30 and comes tromping through for the reading, and I decide I'd better get out of bed, though I may have done light-work somewhat. Fertilize the plants, find that someone's tromped through the garage area and through the next yard next door, so there are only two virgin lots behind, and then phone Michael at 10:15 to find that he hadn't gotten my check yet, but when I go down for the mail the tickets are there, and I look through them with delight, having been reading the Caribbean book while having breakfast of hamburger with the toasted bun. Putting things away from their stay, but I can't imagine where the time went (they took the corn popper, I forgot to remark), and I get back to the index at 12:15, marking with great avidity from pages 1182-1456, going so well that I don't want to stop, so I get a call from Arnie, brief, from 3:30 to 3:35 about someone who might want to sublet my apartment while I'm gone, and then that guy calls from 4:20 to 4:35 and arranges to come on Friday to look at it, and then work through until 5:25, 290 minutes in all to mark 274 pages, pretty good, at which time Dennis calls and asks if I'm still speaking to him, or mad at him, and he'll be over after work, so I hop into the shower for the first time since Friday (or was it Thursday?) and shave until 6, and then fix things around and get back to marking from 6:15 to 6:55, when he enters and kisses and complains about Time-Life's rejection of his cookbook article for contemporaneity, which is the only way to do it and he knows it, and then he vocalizes from 7:20-7:30 while I mark 52 more pages in the 50 minutes, and we both watch a DREADFUL Nureyev in the Muppets "Swine Lake," him in a bath towel at the baths with Miss Piggy, and him tap dancing with epicene knock-kneedness. Talk more and then work from 8:15-9 typing 1000-1075 after putting in the tuna salad with the last of the mushrooms, and then we watch "Dark Secret of Harvest Home" with a campy Bette Davis and no one else in particular except a VERY sexy Justin, who is John Calvin, per Arnold, and Worthy that they don't even IDENTIFY from the "guest star list" at the start. Grump through it till 11, having popcorn for dessert, and Dennis has had lots of wine, so he then smokes after I wash my face and teeth, and we get into cocks and he comes gloriously about 1 am, just before the bookcase "falls over" (per her apologetic note under the door the next am) upstairs with a clatter.

DIARY 12701

TUESDAY, JANUARY 24. He sets the alarm at 7 again, but says he got up an hour EARLIER to get horny, and we caress and both of us come, he squeezing out his come on my chest after lubricating his cock with my grand shooting, and we're up at 8:10 to rather dazedly have grapefruit and hamburgers for breakfast, and he leaves at 9 as I'm listening to nice Haydn music for doing the dishes by. Finish and get right to the index typing from 9:50 to 11:50, typing 748 cards, a good number, from pages 1076-1294, and figure I have to work about 10 hours per day from now on, so the crunch really starts. Figure that out till 12, then moon around a bit but decide I have to catch up on the diary FIRST and foremost, and finish these 5 pages by 1, putting another 100 pages away. Want to get back to indexing, but sort through the laundry to find that I don't have to take it out until Thursday, check to see that I have food for us tonight when Dennis returns, and then go down for the mail and look through that for quite awhile, lots of things: Stolow's catalog of their new auction, New York Magazine, an Opera News, porno, and when I put it all away, it's 2:15 when I get back to marking from page 1508, going till 4:30, and then Eddie calls with someone who wants to sublet my apartment for $225! And he tells me some stuff about Puerto Rico. Back to work at 5 until 6:05, when Dennis calls to say he'll be in late, so I shower and shave until 6:45, then decide to make fudge for dessert, and do that until 7:15, and it boils to a maximum almost overflowing volume at about 220, then simmers DOWN in volume until it's almost back to original levels at 234, when I turn it off. Dennis comes in at 7:45, we chat, then put on "Dark Secret of Harvest Home" from 8-11, and it IS the old "Kill the King to fructify the earth" theme, and it's NOT right that the "hero" who SAW what happened, would be permitted to live, even though blinded: he could STILL tell, if he could get away, which they imply he can't, without showing HOW he can't. Then watch Kenneth Tynam on Cavett until 11:30, by which time the fudge has gotten ROCK hard, and I eat a whole pan-length sliver in just two hours. Then wash face and teeth and crawl in next to Dennis, who falls asleep immediately, cat yowling outside notwithstanding. I work on light-work nicely for about a half hour, getting about half through before falling asleep about 12:30, one of the earliest time in ages, feeling pretty good.

DIARY 12702

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 25. Alarm goes at 7, but he's not out of bed until 8:20, bemoaning his lateness. I'd made juice the previous evening, so pour that out and fry eggs to have with soft rolls, and he doesn't leave until 9:30, wearing a pullover of mine since he hasn't been home for three days. Temperature is 34 and it's raining, taking away much of the snow very quickly, so we'll get a January thaw ANYWAY, though a few days late (average temperature-chart implies the high is usually somewhere Jan. 23-26), and I type 1 by 9:50 am, GOOD! Michael calls sometime and says my check didn't arrive, so at 3 I phoned Chicago and stopped payment and sent out another one. Typed 1000 cards between 11:10 and 1 for 337 pages, just UNDER 3/page, pretty good, and that's the last of my white cards until I pick up two boxes from Dennis tonight. Decide to watch "Miracle of Morgan's Creek" as a relaxation from my hurting shoulders after the 1000 cards, and it's wonderfully wacky, with Betty Hutton and Eddie Bracken stuttering and shouting all over the place. Then do whatever until 3:35, when I get back to marking until 4:10, when Bill Lois comes in to look at the apartment, and he's a neat guy and I hope he'll take Azak's while Marc Lear (ALL FOUR-LETTER NAMES!) stays here. Back to marking from 4:30 to 5:50, and then Rolf calls to blab about Asbestos and how he wants to get some stock directly from the company. Then shower and shave and eat my hamburger and brush my teeth and do final marking from 7-7:35, and get out to schedule my sessions for the next power ray, and Winston is VERY good about it, though Rebekah chides me quietly during the prior talk to the group, saying that there are 40 new pupils and the thing is really GROWING, maybe getting a new teacher, too. Class starts at 8:45 and ends at 10:45 (see DIARY 12703), and I get phone numbers from Faye and Barbara and Malcolm for Caribbean information, and leave at 11 to subway up to Dennis's with MY LAST PIECE OF MONEY, a token, and sit in for the last of the Tynan interview with Cavett until 11:30, get cards and money and dates for things, and he's made sloppy lasagna that we have at 12, then he smokes and we get into bed at 1:10, and I'm feeling VERY tired and eye-heavy, but keep with him until he shoots on my stomach and we sleep in very hot room under minimal sheets at 2. Wake in middle of night to TREMENDOUS winds sounding like rushing waters outside, RAIN.

DIARY 12705

THURSDAY, JANUARY 26. Lying awake listening to the wind and rain outside when the radio goes on at 7, and then Dennis crawls back into bed and we both seem to fall asleep until 8, when he showers and calls me to breakfast at 8:45, when we have scrambled eggs and I DIDN'T get the rest of the cherry pie that I'd wanted for breakfast after my delicious snack last night. Subway home to find Mrs. Gray doing the stairs and a PACK of mail, and up to read the mail and put things away from it, then help Mrs. Gray with pulling in her twisted laundry line due to the high winds, odd in the 45 weather, and then out about 11 to see them filming something in the bank, get cash at last, take out two laundries, get two JO letters from the Advocate that I haven't received myself yet, and groceries, and back to find the time going and no work done on the indexes yet. Phone Malcolm and Barbara at 12 on the Caribbean, and finish reading Bradbury's "Where Robot Mice and Robot Men Run Round in Robot Towns" (see DIARY 12706), which wasn't very good, but it all takes time, and when I put out the garbage and settle down to type up the Actualism page and search to find that it was lesson 16 that gave us the Rod and Staff, and Mom phones and finish typing these 4 pages for the day, it's 2:10 pm, VERY late for starting work! Work from 2:10 to 4:40 marking pages 1818-1957, then probably talk on the telephone with someone, then put things into a shift and start sorting the cards from 5:05-6:55, so I won't have to do them all at once, then type the cards for pages 1793-1954 from 6:55 to 9:50, and then continue right on through to 11:25 by typing and marking and sorting everything through page 2000, ready for THAT typing tomorrow, and have the hamburger on ready to watch "Our Daily Bread," not feeling particularly hungry, only annoyed at the woman upstairs who always plans to have herself or her cat bouncing around upstairs when I'm typing, and it's incredible how we constantly seem to be making life miserable for each other, except that in even a solid building like the Olcott, when it wasn't particularly quiet, I could still hear the person THERE tromping around on the ceiling from the floor above. Hadn't seem the start of the movie before, so it's interesting, but it ends with the same water trench digging that was rather impressive for its "human caterpillar-machine" energy from the first time. Bed at 1:15 and do adequate light-work until about 1:45.

DIARY 12707

FRIDAY, JANUARY 27. Wake about 8:30 and desultorily do light-work before getting out of bed at 9 and getting directly to marking the rest and find that I'm missing ANOTHER folio around page 2023-2024, and call Ruth to say that I'll probably be finished, get the character count, and she'll deliver the pages by messenger. Not eating, I continue uninterruptedly through, except for talking to Eddie for 5 minutes about Puerto Rico, talking to Arnie for a VERY brief 15 minutes, going down for the mail and taking 10 minutes on that, and finding that the elevator-shed roof-door on the parking garage has been what's been banging all last night, rather than something at the construction site that they hadn't fixed yet, so I phone them up and get that fixed in 15 minutes, too. Then finish typing all the rest of the cards by 4, just in time to watch the first hour of "The World, the Flesh, and the Devil" where Belafonte's caught in a mine and comes up to find a deserted city and New York and world because of poisoned atomic weapons, but they never DID say what happened to the bodies that I could hear. Mel Ferrer is an unlikely heavy, and it gets boring so I return to work at 5 and hear the end, as they all decide to stick together as friends, as Fred comes over to buy 10 poppers at 6, and then I continue through to 9:15, taking time out about 6:30 when Marc Lear comes over to look at the apartment, and the first words out of his mouth are "Would you be annoyed if I said I'd take it and then found something else?" and I told him about Bill Lois, and even about the comedy of errors when I called Azak, he said he'd sublet HIS, and then when Bill went over he REFUSED to come down with the rent, and then told me that I hadn't TOLD him about my subletting possibility, he WOULD take Bill for $225, and then I decided to wait for Marc, and NOW he said he'd "find out by Sunday," so I said he'd have to CALL me by Sunday, and I let both Marc and Bill and Azak HANG. Joan Ann called and got more directions about the letters for McGraw-Hill, and then I ate dinner then, too, and finished out a 13:15-hour working day from 10:15-1:15, feeling that I've done a LOT, and my editing speed is considerably more than I'd estimated, so it'll be going WELL. To bed to work through some light-work, but fall asleep quickly.

DIARY 12708

SATURDAY, JANUARY 28. Wake about 9:30 and do light-work firmly until 10, and then up to fiddle around the apartment, watering plants, until 10:40, when I get back to the editing of the index, working SOLIDLY from 10:40 to 4:40, getting LOTS done and pleased with the small number of clips that I've been putting in for manuscript-checking and cross-checking, and then Dennis calls to say that he's not interested in the dance this evening, and I try Michael but he's not interested either, so I'll donate the last of the TDF vouchers since Arnie's got other plans (which don't work out since the 8th Avenue subway delays his entry to the Hudson until 7:38 and they give away his phone reservations---just as poor Dennis stood on line for 40 minutes waiting for a sneak preview of "Coma" and then was told it was full INSIDE with people waiting, so the people OUTSIDE wouldn't be able to get in). Have hamburger to fill my stomach, which is gurgling like the Wookie in "Star Wars," and decide to postpone showering (decided NOT to shave, so I haven't shaved since January 25) till Dennis's, to better use my time, and work from 5:10 to 7:10, when I dress and leave to DTW, getting in on my reservation at 7:48 JUST when the doors open, so I get a good front-center seat for the Fred Mathews/Gary Masters and Dancers concert (see DIARY 12709), which starts poorly, but by 9:51 when Pachelbel's "Canon" finishes I LOVE them. Pen ran out while jotting notes on the program and reading Einstein's "Relativity," and the old fellow next to me GIVES me a pencil to use. Thanks. Out and subway up to Dennis's by 10:15, shower and wash my hair in his GOOD shampoo, which makes my AWFUL shampoo look MORE awful, and he's just re-warming the lasagna from Wednesday, but it's "married" and tastes even better now, and he even warms up the last piece of cherry pie and I have ice cream while he smokes, and then we get into bed about 1, but he's been VERY tired through the day, taking a nap from which I waked him, and he'd gotten to bed at 4:30 am the morning after seeing a couple jazz people with Peggy, so we just cuddle and bounce around a bit on the bed, but decide we're both tired and get to bed and to sleep by 1, rather a record, and I have no trouble falling asleep instantly.