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1978 5 of 10

DIARY 13069

SUNDAY, JUNE 11. Wake about 10:30 and shut the alarm off just before it rings at 11, and watch the second Camera Three on Comics, not having seen "The Spirit" or knowing that "Heavy Metal" was a modern old-fashioned horror comic book, and the crotches of the super-heroes STILL turn me on! Then sit and watch a program on "The Spider" because there's nothing better to do, and then finish reading the paper, talk to Dennis who's going to see Doris Fish in the hospital with a broken ankle (whose house was robbed and car taken just after she was taken out, and Morris is just as bad), and then I take off the lotion, put on somewhat smelly hamburger for something to eat, exercise and stand on my head, then shower and wash my hair and eat, and after wasting some time watering plants and fussing around with Canada trip and having done a bit of lightwork, I get out to Actualism at 3:20, getting there just at 4, and the session's interesting enough for me to sign up with Bruce for a real lesson in it on July 2 (see DIARY 13070). Phone Dennis at 6:30, when we get out, but he's not home yet, so I wander into the park and watch sexy cyclists and sit overlooking the sunning grounds, dogs shitting, flies buzzing, kids looking at cruising, bicycles everywhere, cop cars sitting on sidewalks, and then phone him at 7 and meet at 7:25 at Pilotte's, where he's wanted to eat, and it's quite tasty: Strachatella Fiorentina of good texture for $1.75, but the hot appetizers are a REAL rip-off for $4: three mussels with more breading than meat, a stuffed clam, four stuffed mushrooms, but the sauce is good with sopping bread, the décor is fabulous, and they spent $40,000 on the ceiling alone, with real Tiffany stained glass, and $3M on the whole place, and she owns Duff's in the Village and paid rent for 2 years on this place while it was being rebuilt. Fazi Battaglia is flat and sourish, but only $6.50 is pretty good for price in restaurant, and the Vitello alla Sorrentino is fabulous: smooth mozzarella and prosciutto over three decent slices of veal, good sauce, and Dennis's Capelleti is sort of like Edgardo's raviolis, and we're too full for dessert, so $25 a bit much of a bill, so go down to Don's to find he's not home, back for Dennis's coffee, buy blueberries, and to his place at 10:30 to have ice cream and blueberries and honey, and he smokes and gets into sex, and I'm VERY tired for some reason, we have apricot brandy, and he comes off on my chest with great pleasure and we get to bed about 12:30, fairly early, and he's not even pressuring me to come recently.

DIARY 13072

MONDAY, JUNE 12. Wake with memories of the dreams (see DIARY 13071) and Dennis gets up to put on the coffee and comes back to bed to play with himself, and I'm quite hard, so we lay together and jerk for awhile, then he wants more light, and I come first for a change and then he comes, and then I get out of bed to wipe myself off and he goes for his shower while I read more New Yorkers. Breakfast is slow and we leave about 9:25, he stops to draw money out of the bank (guy shouting at me for opening the banking window that certainly doesn't restrict me from doing so), and I get to sit in the park until 10, when the Natural History Museum opens, but the Ice Age sculpture is rather disappointing (see DIARY 13073) and I leave at 10:45 and get down to Actualism to get picked up by Winston and we sit in opposite chairs for the session on the Adrenals (see DIARY 13074), which seems at the final part of be productive, and then it's 12:30 and I'm home about 1 but STILL don't feel like doing anything, so I sit down (despite the fact my new glasses are ready) in my old glasses and COUNT the 23,188 stamps in my stamp collection, feeling a delight that it goes so quickly but sorry that there aren't anywhere near the 30,000 that I'd expected, and in the meantime count up the countries with the most stamps (see DIARY 13075) as an added fill-up, listening to music all the while in the gloriously-temperatured day, since we've gotten two weeks of wonderful spring at last. Then decide I MUST get to the index, so I mark pages 1-122 of LB+5 index from 5:45 to 8, and I'd put on the last of the ham to cook and nibble off it to finish it while watching "From Yellowstone to Tomorrow" with George C. Scott and the incredibly inept Fifth Dimension and another folksinger to give a strange potpourri of "entertainment" with great shots of the parks and monuments. Then at 9-11 watch "On the Waterfront," with only one IBM intermission, which is great of them, and Eva Marie Saint is believable, but Karl Malden is so ugly as the priest, Lee J. Cobb so vicious as the mob leader, and Marlon Brando (except for a touching love scene where he kisses her HUNGRILY) is SO mannered and eye-madeup, and the final walking scene (to kowtow to management?) is so unbelievable after his beating it's amazing it won 8 Oscars. Then watch Brother Theodore, from rich family and concentration camps to camping, till 11:30, then "The 39 Steps" with Madeleine Carrol not believing his tale of non-murder as he chases the guy with one finger to the memory expert who's got the aircraft secrets to give to the spy ring "39 steps." Bed at 2:30 am!

DIARY 13076

TUESDAY, JUNE 13. Wake with a dream that I put down on paper immediately (see DIARY 13077) so I won't forget it, and it's about 10:30 so I keep on with the diary typing, getting interrupted by parcel post, who's come yesterday trying to deliver the yogurt cups, so I open then, get the rest of the mail and look through it, shower and wash my hair and had previously washed off the lotion and exercised and stood on my head, and it seems that that's about all I have time to do, corn popper still standing on the table where I'd had it with the movies last night, stand loaded with dishes to wash, now including the yogurt cups, and I make the last of the smelly hamburger to have something to eat, and A&S called yesterday with the stamp pages, too, so I have a whole list of things to do after the dentist. Get there at 2:55 and of course he's late (I'd typed 7 diary pages, not quite getting up to Monday, which is sort of a pain) and I get an injection at 3:15, get shown my 4 teeth that need to be fixed, and he starts drilling and I jostle and he gives me another shot, and gets started for a QUICK job down to the red-pulp nerve ending in about five minutes, and leave at 4, making another appointment, chalky coating on tooth, and then pick up 5 more letters from JOYI, deposit two checks at the bank behind grumpy woman, get down to A&S and buy 3 sets of pages for $19 and change, hoping to take care of MOST of the blanks that I need, that I'd counted over 500 previously, go up to the bookstore and find nothing, then back for meat, getting fish and hamburger, and decide to get groceries, too, so I load up, and home to get a call from Dennis, and when I suggest we have fish for dinner, he says he'll be over, so I HAD worked on the BL+5 index from 11-11:10 and get back from 5:20 to 7:10, when Dennis comes in, and I only have a little over a chapter to do, but he wants a Harvey Wallbanger, not knowing I have Galliano, so I make two huge ones and fry the fish since he says he's hungry, and my Novocain is just about all worn off, and then we have a second huge Wallbanger, and he looks in the book and comes up with a Golden Dream that has cream and brandy in it, so I make a huge one of those with the rest of the ice, he smokes, I put on the "Star Wars" tape about 10 and we get into VERY heavy sex, DELIGHTFULLY together, but toward the end I get a bit nauseous and refuse the popper, and he comes a GREAT heavy load on me, and I'd turned the tape over and SOMEWHERE about 12:30 we both drop off to sleep, and I wake to see the SUN coming in slightly at 6 am, and we roll over back to sleep.

DIARY 13079

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 14. I don't sleep very well and we BOTH seem to have a hangover, and Dennis sits listlessly over coffee and I get up to make breakfast of hamburgers and peas&carrots, since I have no eggs, and we sigh and stare at each other and I have "Table Smoke" which sort of turns my stomach, and he sits and says he feels awful, and I sit and feel MORE awful, and begin to wonder if it might not be the NOVOCAIN from yesterday reacting with the booze from last night! He leaves and I go to bed, but I think of the index that I should finish to have lunch with Susan tomorrow, and get up from 10:05-10:30 and mark some, but I'm feeling so nauseous I have to go back to bed. Do some lightwork, hoping that there were no antibiotics in the Novocain or dressing, and then get up at 11:50-12:20, but AGAIN I'm driven back to bed, and maybe it's the GLASSES that aren't helping with my nausea, and then I try one last time from 1:50 to 2:50, but that's the end for the day, phoning Dr. Winston to find that he's not working on Wednesday, phoning Actualism to get Winston to say that I'd better make it, and maybe I'm just activating for the session this evening, which I doubt, and I keep trying to do lightwork but my mind just won't stay ON it, and I AGAIN condemn myself, and this is the SECOND time that YEAR, first in January after Susan's party, and I really feel SICK about feeling SICK from drink! Finally get up to take a shower and shave, and that doesn't feel so bad, and then get dressed and leave at 7:30 so I can walk slow if I have to, and get there and tell Winston that I don't feel much better, and the session is a good one (see DIARY 13080), and I'd phoned Dennis to say I wouldn't be at his place tonight, so I subway home about 11, feeling not so bad, but don't feel like doing anything but brushing teeth and lotioning face and getting into bed at 11:30. Try falling asleep on back, but then I have to get up for water and pissing and it's 12:30, and then I roll over on my face, getting the pillowcase all covered with the pink lotion, and still have trouble falling asleep because I'm just not SLEEPY, having been in bed all day, and sleep about 1 am.

DIARY 13082

THURSDAY, JUNE 15. Up about 9, feeling somewhat better, take notes on the dreams about FUSSING over things that I've had this morning (see DIARY 13081), wash the lotion off my face, and then get back to typing the cards for the BL+5 (which is really the LB+5, and they probably think I'm an idiot to keep getting it wrong), doing 596 from 9:40-11:30, then edit from 11:30 to 1:10, and I'd told myself that I wanted to watch "The Norman Conquests" at 1 pm today, but I completely forgot about it until about 4 pm, but I'd phoned Susan and said I wouldn't be there for lunch, but when I finished typing the 28 pages from 1:10-3:45, Bob Rosinek said he'd come over anyway when I said I had a hangover, but then he had to pick up Alicia and cancelled, great! I phoned and was told that I could bring it in anytime until 6 pm and it would be OK, so I proofread from 3:45 to 4:40, not having had anything to eat yet today but feeling good about it, and then phone a couple of bodyworkers to get THAT out of the way, and Mara Alper says I can come over at 6, so I leave at 5 and get to Harper at 5:35 and just drop the stuff off with Nick Falletta, who says he hopes we can work together again, leave a note for Susan, and get the Lexington down (not having to re-encounter the Greek who blocked the ENTIRE sidewalk at 52nd with his hotdog cart, and not moving it around, I was surprised to find myself batting down some of his soda cans in my annoyance, almost ASKING for a busting!) to Bleecker and walk over to Bowery at just about 6, and she has a puppet-crowded place for her and Michael, and she gives a rather nice session (see DIARY 13085). Out about 7:30 and it's too late for Ballet Blaska at St. John the Divine, so I walk up to 8th Street to buy paperbacks when at 7:45 I think of the Quiktix at Public Theater and but $3 "box" seat for "I'm Getting My Act Together and Taking it on the Road" and get SO enthusiastic about its possibilities that I write a letter to Gretchen Cryer (see DIARY 13083) and think it opens lots of ideas (see DIARY 13084). Heat up the last of the tuna casserole by 10:45, eat that while reading some of the mail, and then want to do SOMETHING else and cast around to see the Brahms article and listen to ALL FOUR SYMPHONIES (see DIARY 13089) while putting 300 added pages into both stamp albums, and this takes until 2:30, when I START to bed, and get in with lotion and having washed around my temporary filling at 2:50, doing a FAIRLY complete lightwork session before dropping off to sleep at what must be about 3:30 am.

DIARY 13088

FRIDAY, JUNE 16. Wake about 8:20 and laze, dreaming (see DIARY 13087), and then get besieged with a SPATE of thoughts like cancer (see DIARY 13086) which I bounce out of bed at 10 am to record, and then decide I have to DO something to take care of things, so I wash the first HALF the dishes while listening to more Brahms symphonies, and it's DREADFUL what a preconception can do to listening to music (see DIARY 13089). Finish with that about 10:30 and look at all the stuff I have to do, phone Azak and agree to meet him at Barney's at 5, try phoning Barbara Bullied for specs for her index but she's out today, phone Dennis and check about tonight and tell him about last night, phone IBM to tell them to call Monday about changing my tab-set, and spend more time counting pages and stamps to bring the "number of stamps" list up to date (see DIARY 13075). Water plants, have hamburger while reading the mail, get a call from Mrs. Johnson who's checking to make sure I got my rent-raise, and then discover my glasses are stronger FAR for the RIGHT eye (like at the clock 5 feet away) and weaker NEAR for the right eye (like reading a slide-rule). So phone Hoecker and he says come over, so I shower after exercising with THREE pullups and scrub on the shower curtain for awhile, then shave, then finish typing these 8 pages for the day, but making out headlines for 8 MORE pages to type tomorrow at LEAST! 4 pm now. Out for Hoecker who says my prescription is accurate, gives me Bismurthy's name (or whatever) to check WHY I'm different, and I beeline for subway at 4:35 and get quick one to Barney's at 4:50, Andre (it's official, it says so on his card) isn't there, so I go to Taste Nuts, or whatever, for a Yogurt Affair with honey and fruit (citrus awful (and I go make yogurt now!) but bananas and apple and wheat germ good) for $2.20 with tip, then meet Andre for ridiculous introduction to fashion (see DIARY 13090) until 7:30, treating him to 25 someone dropped and a cappuccino for $1, and he says we'll have to do it again next week. I'm game. Subway to Met and meet Dennis in seat for a rather disappointing program by the Cuban Ballet (see DIARY 13091) that lets us out at 11:15 and we're home at 12, having bought half-and-half, and he's hungry so I make spaghetti and meat sauce, 1/2 pound of meat enough for 3, and we drink grapefruit juice, he smokes, and we get to bed at 1:15 and he insists on getting into his cock, so I go along, though tired, and he comes and doesn't push me, I do good complete lightwork from 1:45-2:15, about, and turn over to sleep.

DIARY 13094

SATURDAY, JUNE 17. Wake at 7:10 with a dream of story-writing fresh in my mind (see DIARY 13092), and debate getting up until the story "The Singers" formulates itself (see DIARY 13093) and then transcribe ideas into notes from 7:30-7:40, and piss and drink some water and get back into bed to do more thinking, and then at 8:10 begin doing lightwork in earnest, seeming to have a VERY good session by 8:55, and he's still sleeping, and I think some more and he's STILL sleeping and doesn't get up until 10:55, when the phone rings and it's Avi wanting to play Monopoly tonight, but Dennis can't decide and then Avi decides he wants to watch Garbo at 9, so tomorrow at 4:30. I keep trying Art Bauman during the day, but there's no answer. Dennis puts on coffee while I put records away, not really wanting sex, and he must sense this because he then goes into the tub and I start fixing up the apartment at last. He's not starving, so he reads last week's Times and I file and sort and throw out box with old maps in when I find that Canadian trip would be 12,000 miles, or 35 days of 8-hour days at 40 mph! He continues through list of old stuff, delighting in an issue of New York about Lady Harlech's cookbook he probably told me to save, and we eat about 1:15, the rest of the spaghetti and frozen green beans, and he leaves about 2 as I wash the dishes and prop up the top window for my do-list item of the day and have everything nicely together, and then get to diary pages, re-reading the Metzner article on Actualism and determine to copy it for Bill, and do that Actualism page in addition to the 13 for today, coming up to date at 8:10 pm, having made yogurt and now have to stay awake to 2 am to make sure I shut it off! Sort of hungry but have nothing in the house so I make french toast with the last of the bread and syrup while watching the nicely-acted but too SOUR-man script of "Zandy's Bride" ("For Better, For Worse" in this showing) with Gene Hackman as a Big Sur cattleman marrying 32-year-old Liv Ullman as a 24-year-old and complaining to his mother, Eileen Heckart. Get the Times at 11, watch Saturday Night Live with Hugh Hefner, then Album Tracks to 1:10, then a FABULOUS cartoon section from a movie by the Grateful Dead on Don Kirshner, taking a LONG time to finish the two puzzles, and then "The Illustrated Man" comes back on and I've recorded about THAT before, but Drivas is STILL fetching to watch, so I look at it from 2:40-4:40, and it's getting LIGHT out already as I turn out the lights and pull down the shades and crawl into bed at 5 am!

DIARY 13095

SUNDAY, JUNE 18. Wake with a jolt, think "It must be on the DOT of 10," which is what I thought it'd be nice to get up for, and look at the clock and it IS the dot of 10. Up to watch an interesting "Saul and the Witch of Endor" (see DIARY 13096) on "Lamp Unto My Feet" from 1960, then read the paper until 11 to watch a bit of Paganini Variations by Webber on Camera Three while reading, then Neil Simon on Beverly Sills from 11:30-1, then more Times until 1, watching "The Guardian" about a mime troupe with the Passion Play, not very good except for the NICE muscles, ass, and upcurved cock-crotch of Tom (?) HOSTOMSKY, who I hope has a LARGE career, and Arnie calls to talk about his probably last trip with Four Winds with troublesome trains and marvelous 60-80-year-old people, and then hang up to watch "Tonga" on "Journey to Adventure" and they had troubles finding things to fill the half-hour program! Make a tuna casserole since there's nothing else to eat and watch "The Norman Conquests, Part I, Table Manners" which is QUITE good, with a PERFECT cast and MARVELOUS Ayckbourn writing, from 3-5, then decide I have to DO something, so repot the north-facing avocado and plant a set of green-and-white and pure-green spider plants in the two hangers, and now recall that I FORGOT about the third macramé hanger Rita gave me, still unfilled! Ms. Watson calls to see if she's dripping as bad in the bathroom as she did yesterday evening, which she isn't, and I decide to start on the windows, and they're MARVELOUS to do because they fold in: do the inside of the french, both kitchen, the air conditioning, and wire-window in living room, having phoned to see only a 30% chance of rain today and tomorrow, and it rains tonight, of course! AND she drips with washed coverlet on my CLEAN windows! Then re-watch Cousteau's "Life at the Edge of the World" about Tierra del Fuego, doing stamps when it turns out I've seen it, and then "The Edge" from 9-10, about physical exploits near death, then the first half of "Gypsy in My Soul" with a talentless Shirley MacLaine and even worse Lucille Ball, then Monty Python though I'd watched it before, then "Revolve" from 11-12:15, and LOTS of TV seems to be about DEATH (see DIARY 13097), as is my reading. Then watch "Nova" on zoos as "Memories of Eden," with CP Zoo looking very badly, until 1:15, then lotion face and brush teeth and sit for lightwork from 1:35-2:05, bed until rainstorm at 2:45, she walking around upstairs with YOWLING CAT.

DIARY 13099

MONDAY, JUNE 19. Wake at 10, remembering dream (see DIARY 13098), and get out of bed at 10:10 to wash stuff off face, put things away in case the typewriter repairman calls, phone Laura Kosden who has another index for me, this time on "Pain," and I type these 5 pages by 11:30, "early" into day. Exercise with three pull-ups and then decide to start cleaning things in preparation for the vacuuming, so I scour the tub and the sink, cleaning off the tops of things and scrubbing well, then into the kitchen and do both sinks in THERE, and by that time I'm warming up the tuna and taking a shower and washing my dirty hair in order to get out to Dr. Winston at 3, who's without a secretary but takes me directly, and without injections cleans off the temporary filling, saying he'll get to a point, which he does, and then fills in HALF the filling, saying he'll wait for next time to open the tooth NEXT to it, and though he's going slower than I would have wished, he's so sweet and considerate that I go along with it, getting out to buy a whole load of groceries and get home to pick up mail, put everything away, read the mail, and then decide that I REALLY want to finish the windows, so I pull all the plants away from the wall, and then decide I DON'T want to finish with stamps at this point, so I put THOSE away and put the card table back up, sort of sprucing up the place, and the repairman calls to say that the tabs haven't come in yet but he'll phone me tomorrow, and stopped into HIP to make an appointment with Dr. Bismuth on Thursday, his only day in, and things are getting DONE! Dennis decides to come over this evening, so I don't vacuum much waiting for his buzz downstairs, but finish the windows, feeling great about it, putting all the plants back, and he enters about 7:35, I got to index for ONE mark from 7:30-7:35, saying he's starved, and we have pork chops during BB King's program (boring) on the birth of the blues until 9, then I watch a program on the Rosenberg killing (appears the judge WAS interested and the CIA DID make it a political affair) until 10:30, Dennis showering and working on french, and I'd made apricot nectar and maraschino and strawberries, pretty good, and have some wine while Dennis drinks and smokes and get into cock, and I don 't feel like it but whack away soft, coming LOTS, and he's ready for dessert at 11:30, so I have my fresh yogurt and the rest of the strawberries that I didn't whip into the drink and he had Tia Maria in milk, and we're to bed at 12:30 and I CAN'T concentrate on Actualism.

DIARY 13100

TUESDAY, JUNE 20. Alarm at 7 and he's up at 7:45, showering, and I feel pretty good, so make pancakes with the maple syrup, good, and he leaves at 8:45 because he has a meeting with Andrea at 9:15. I scrub the kitchen floor and all the OTHER floors, including some of the walls, really getting into it, feeling good about it, then vacuum thoroughly, and that takes me to the time I shower for the physical exam, leaving at 1:55 forgetting to take Mrs. Becker's name with me, dropping off the laundry, and get in about 2:15 for a cheerful exam (see DIARY 13101), taking the slips to the basement about 2:45 and chatting with the black who does my blood and urine the next morning, getting a chest X-ray and what I believe to be my first electrocardiogram, and out about 3:40 to deposit more checks in the bank, pick up about 7 letters from JOYI, surely not stopping yet, buying more 13 stamps, hopefully the last of them, and getting home to remember that I wanted to get my glasses adjusted, too. Washed dishes in the morning, too, since everything was dirty again, and watered the plants, replacing the underplate which was cracked, I hope not ruining the inside of the air conditioner, which I put on about 5, sitting for half an hour doing lightwork, seemingly effortlessly and not requiring much time, and arrange things in the bedroom with lamp and stepladder for temporary sidetable, then Bruce calls and we chat for about 45 minutes until 5:15 (so I did lightwork after), talk to Dennis and the phone seems better, then feel like something SWEET so make a chocolate-butter concoction at 7 and watch quiz shows on TV until 8, for a good "South Pacific, End of Eden" with James Michener and New Guinea and cocks, Bora-Bora and beauty, and Eniwetok and governmental interference with life. Rolf calls and we chat from 9-9:30 about coops and asbestos, then Fred Bassoff calls to invite me to "fun and head" games on July 4, sadly, and I get to marking pages 1-185 of the Receptor Binding book from 9:45-12:20, good rate of about 70 pages/hour, and then just wash face, forgetting lotion per doctor, and get into bed to come up with NONVERBAL lightwork session that FEELS good, but I have to ask about it first, lay VERY comfortably without conditioning, dropping to sleep about 12:45.

DIARY 13102

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 21. Wake brightly at 7, deciding that THIS is the day I go for my exam, DESPITE the fact that I hadn't eaten since hamburger about 5 pm last night and had that HUGE dose of sugar about 7:30, so let's SEE what that might do, since I operate THERE fairly frequently! On line at 7:35, first after shower, second woman comes "at 7:43," as she's noted, then man at 7:50, and black arrives at 7:55, goes in, we're to waiting room at 8, and I'm admitted at 8:10 for tests, out at 8:20, around to get glasses adjusted (and I STILL don't think they're quite right, but adjusted anyway), and home admiring the GOOD quality of person on street at 8:30, some waiting for Key to open, and up to put on hamburger, phone Dennis to say how GOOD I feel, phone man calls at 9 so I disconnect machine, eat hamburger, he arrives at 9:35 and is a TOTAL DOLL: tall, tanned, handsome, unwed-ring-finger, huge biceps, and after he talks even a bulging crotch in his brown cords, saying "wire goes out this window right next to the pot plants," and phoning back to say there was a loose wire, so I won't have any trouble. I wish him a good day, finish typing these 3 pages at a record-early time of 9:59! Phone Pope to talk to him about my phone man, then from 10:30-11:50 type the 528 cards for the Receptor Binding index, a great rate of 400/hour, and then talk to Azak, who wants to go shopping, and suggests I call him Friday. Then from 11:55-1:35 I edit the cards, another fast job, and type pages 1-22 from 1:35-2:35, at which time the repairman comes in and puts in a new set of tabs, which in fact works wonderfully! Proofread what I've typed for 15 minutes while he's working, and then Laura Kosden calls to say she's sending over a Pain book to be indexed by next Friday, and then I call her back to say if she delays him, I'll have THIS one ready, and I bomb through with everything but putting it into an envelope by 4:15, when the guy comes up, and she confesses she hadn't gotten through to him and is having to pay more because they'll deliver it in the morning. Bruce calls from home, sick from the weekend with diarrhea, he thinks, and we talk a lot about sex and separativeness until 5:35, and then I finish up the index from 5:35-5:55, working 8:15 hours for JUST a $185 bill with expenses. Then work on Erythropoiesis index, very difficult, from 5:55-7:55, taking time out to talk to BobR, who might come over this evening if he can send Alicia to a friend's, but thank goodness he can't. Eat and get down to a full evening of television (see DIARY 13103), lightwork 1/2 hour & sleep at 2 am.

DIARY 13104

THURSDAY, JUNE 22. Wake at 10, maybe talking to someone on the telephone, and mark some pages from 10:35-11, then type 220 cards from 11-11:45 from pages 1-70, just over 3/page, phone Barbara to see if it can be short, but she says no, and then have hamburger at 11:45, reading the mail, then work from 12:40-1, maybe talk on the telephone to Arnie, then from 1:30-2:20, when I had to leave to get a sheet for my shit, see Bismuth to find that he didn't make the prescription for the right eye change as much as the EYE changed, implying that I'll be getting new glasses in just a year, which is a great pain, and getting groceries and getting glasses adjusted once again, this time fairly well, and back to mark the rest of the pages from 3:40-5:30, a real pain of an Erythropoiesis book, and type 537 cards from 5:30-7:15, and it seems the woman upstairs is now creeping around above my head ANYWAY, and edit from 7:15-10:15, when I put on dinner of pork chops (though I think it was pork chops for brunch and hamburger for dinner), and have some wine so I don't feel like working anymore, figuring 7 hours yesterday and almost 9 hours today quite enough, and watch Dr. Eugene Hoff before and after changing to Jeanne, a program of talking heads with a quizzical Frank Fields and jabbing Lynn Redgrave and very unattractive as EITHER sex Dr. Hoff. Then sit through the news on channel 4 to watch Joe Papp's surprise birthday party in the Delacorte Theater and hearing with delight that part of real estate tax can be deducted from RENTER'S income tax, too, and lots of other nonsense, and continue to watch the boob-tube while Johnny Carson does his monologue and reads from the book "Fascinating Facts" until 12, real empty-headed nothingness, and I settle down to do some lightwork again, but one of these days I'd phoned Winston who said that I seemed to be doing well, and of course since then haven't been doing so well. Dennis said he might be over tonight, but he worked till 7:30 at the office and then went home, and I didn't even feel like jerking off, not having felt very sexy at all for the last few days, and simply washed my face and got to bed and to sleep about 12:30, a record-early time for once.

DIARY 13105

FRIDAY, JUNE 23. Wake about 8:25 and figure I can't type so early, so I shower and shave and sit for the rest of the morning in the heating room and still smell rather high by the time I leave at noon. Type the 37 pages of the Erythropoiesis index from 9-11:05, a record of 18/hour, and feel very good about the working tabs, my endurance, and the constant influx of indexes. Phoned Susan to check lunch, Azak to find no answer about shopping this afternoon, Michael Molthen to find no answer, and Dennis to meet this evening, and Susan has a meeting at 2 so I proofread from 11:20 to 11:50 and dress quickly to get to her place at 12:35, while she then goes to the john and talks with people, and we chat with Linda and go down and she recommends Crickets, which turns out very nicely, flavorful sauce on the veals, good beef barley soup, but $11 bill is rather high, and out at 2:05 to check the alphabetization at her place while she talks to her sister about a schnauzer pup to replace Adam that she'd put to death because of cancer, leaving Toby alone and wanting a friend. I get Azak and he's got shopping of his own at 6, so I bus down to Springer on nice bus from 2:45-3:10 and chat with Angie and Barbara, who'll have another index for me on July 7, and then with Joan Ann, who's having a body session for HER tonight with Michael Molthen, and then I'm down to Barnes and Noble and see two science-fiction books I pick up, and THEN a used copy of EB III for $350, which turns into $388.78 with tax and delivery, and I BUY it and $16.77 worth of books for $16.24 and a subway token, leaving with one token so I walk up Broadway from 18th to 66th, fun, until 6:45, reading start of "The Protector," not very interesting, meet Dennis at 7:45 for a "Giselle" with Alonso from 8:20-11:55 (see DIARY 13106), then to my place at 11:30, broil 3 pork chops and one hamburger left with green beans and applesauce for dinner until 12:30, and have a LONG talk about how I want him to push more if there's anything about separativeness that he dislikes, and it seems like a good talk, lasting until 2:35, and we piss and cuddle a bit and get to sleep, comfortable with the doors open a bit, though light comes in too.

DIARY 13108

SATURDAY, JUNE 24. I wake early, dream (see DIARY 13107), doze, and Dennis wakes about 10, and we cuddle, get into cocks, and have a marvelous session before the mirror in the corner, me coming first with him crouched between my legs as I lay off the side of the bed, he coming on my chest with my back propped against the bed sitting on the floor (of course the bed was sitting on the floor), and I took a quick shower and he put on coffee and looked through JJ's "Journal du Voyage" as I sautéed onions for a great onion omelet, finishing with yogurt and honey about 12:30, and just washed the dishes when someone buzzed, a friend of Theo's looking at the apartment, which is taken, but Mrs. Johnson says the boys may be leaving soon, and Dennis wants to look at it. Get the mail, and the restaurant tickets come, so we look through, decide enough are interesting, and I make a map to ease use of them depending where we are. He's reading things to catch up, not wanting to do anything else, so I ask if I can type, he says yes, and I get to the number of pages behind, since WEDNESDAY, typing 6 by 3 pm, a bit late. Then get to correspondence file, with 10 letters to do, and sort out my desk-file to see what I'd written last, and am in the process of putting them in the main file at 4 when Dennis leaves, and get them all away except the 10 to write, then write 3 pages to Mom, with a copy and a page to Rita, a two-page thing about being gay to Helen, a page to Don, and notes to Peter and Edgardo, and I'd have done the others but I ran out of airmail envelopes. Then about 8 have enough of that and decide to listen to Bill's tape to see what I want to write, and then decide that I have to transcribe parts of it, anyway, and Dennis calls wanting to do something tonight, but I say I'd just as soon watch "Romance of Happy Valley" from 10-11:30, "Lost and Found by Channel 13," and it's perfectly dreadful Griffith with the father THINKING for a moment that he'd killed his own won, but it was a robber, and Bobby Harron and Lillian Gish (who really looks like an IDIOT) get married at the end. Out for the Times, have good Cornish hen for dinner at 11:30, having basted it through the film and missing sections, then read the paper and work out the double crostic and nod over the crossword, so bed at 2:40, not being able to do much lightwork, maybe 20 minutes.

DIARY 13110

SUNDAY, JUNE 25. Out of bed about 10:30 and sit on the john finishing most of the rest of the puzzle, then watch John Simon speaking Serbian to the guy on the Yugoslavian cinema, and it's rather boring. Read a few articles in the magazine, and then put the phone off the hook to do lightwork, but want to check something and before I know it I'm finishing reading "The Protector" and find that so gratifying (the apartment is QUITE still except for the randomly barking dog next door) that I finish with that and pick up "The Gods Themselves" by Asimov, and get rather annoyed AGAIN because I think I could have written better books than BOTH of these (see DIARY 13111). Oh, I'd called Dennis about 11:45, since the day was so beautiful, and I'd phoned the BMT special to find that it left at 1 from 57th and 6th and stayed half an hour at Rockaway Park, and dropped us off at Hoyt-Schermerhorn station at 4 pm, but he said that he was seeing Cathy tonight and wanted to do laundry and excuses himself a dozen times, as I had last night, and it seems we're really taking CARE when we say no to suggestions of the other at this point. Then STILL don't feel like doing anything constructive, so I pick up "Education of Oversoul Seven" (AGAIN reading all the small books and letting the big ones pile up) and get partway through that, finding at 9:30 that I'd missed the Cousteau program I wanted to see at 8, and I ALSO decided at 6:30 that I'd wanted to make yogurt with the milk that I bought with the Times last night for $1.02, so I did that, and when it was cool at 8 I made cocoa fudge, slurping while it was cooking and burning my tongue, and AGAIN I boiled it too long, so the thermometer must be off by a few degrees, and I really don't care for the COCOA flavor that much. So I take the pan into the living room and lick it out completely while watching a program about what's happening on Broadway, and then I'm hungry, so I get out the rest of the Cornish hen and eat it cold, very tasty but greasy, and continue going through "Oversoul Seven," pretty bad, and at 2:20 I'm really very tired so I brush my teeth and wash my face, then read a BIT more to settle my stomach, and get into bed at 2:45, setting the alarm at 9:10 to make sure I get up on time after less than 6 hours' sleep.

DIARY 13113

MONDAY, JUNE 26. Wake at 8:30 and try to get into lightwork, finally doing it from 8:45 to 9:25, when up to shower and wash my hair and have a quick scrambled egg breakfast before getting off at 10:25 to Actualism for my tonsil surgery (see DIARY 13112) from 11-12:20. Home by way of the post office, where I get three new requests and a JOYI answer (nothing from Gretchen Cryer, however) and find 22 to find no mail, open the JOYI, and water the plants and make the bed and put things away and leave at 2:25 to get to the dentist at 2:30 for a long-lasting injection, but he just wants to fill the other half of the one filling, so that's 3 days on ONE tooth, and he'd gotten flushed and feverish from eating bluefish downstairs, taking Benedryl to antihistamine the reaction away. Home at 3 in the rain, so I don't get my glasses adjusted, and tempted to settle down to read, but phone Rodie Siegler about the Anthropology index, phone Dennis to find that he'd like to do it, and then she phones back with a quote of $350 that sounds good. I moon about debating what to do, then type 5 pages by 5 pm, eating fudge! Then load the box laden with scrap cards on the coffee table, which makes a nice height for the typewriter that I bring into the living room near the tape recorder so that I start playing Bill's tape from start to finish, taking notes on what he'd said to me (see DIARY 13114-13123), getting lots of good stuff from the four sides, playing some at double-speed, and he talks so slowly I can still understand him and get through the boring parts quickly. That goes until about 9:20, then decide to record back to him, and do the first side until 10:20, then get hungry and have tuna and mayonnaise, inspired by his like meal, then back from 10:40-11:40 to finish the second side, which feels like the end, getting practically everything into it (see DIARY 13124) and feeling good about it. Put things away and kill roaches which infest the kitchen and bathroom and even one on BED, and get into bed at 12:45 to finish reading "The Education of Oversoul 7" until 1:20, shutting windows against rain, and falling comfortably asleep at 1:30.

DIARY 13126

TUESDAY, JUNE 27. Wake at 8:40 with the memory of two dreams about Jim Maher (see DIARY 13125) and up at 9 to finish putting things away, take two Times sections down to Mrs. Johnson, figuring maybe EB III will fit into wooden bookcases atop chests in study, and finish typing these three pages by 9:45! Then decide I might just as well get the letters out of the way, so I write letters to Edward, Franco, Paul, and Michael Ralph when I phone Arnie to get his address, and get all THOSE out of the way, and then I think make tuna casserole since I don't have much in the house, and then get to marking the Psychology of Pain book from 1:10 to 1:40, stop and eat after going down for the mail and finding one tiny piece (with none yesterday) that makes me wonder about the service, then back to marking 18-72 from 2:20 to 3:20, pretty slow, and then type from 3:20-3:55, 246 cards, and then mark from 73-128 from 3:55-5:05, at which time Dennis calls and suggests a movie that a friend of his is in, so he can go free, and I type 155 cards from 5:10-5:30 and then shower and get out about 6:15 to meet him at the New York Theater Experience (NYTE) on 64 E. 4th Street (after shopping in some strange discount army-surplus costume-shops on Broadway to see "We Are" which is a perfectly awful amateurish movie (see DIARY 13126). It lasts from 7:05 until 8:45, and then we chat with a frank smiling Suzanne, and then over to Broadway and I take a detour at 8th to find the 25%-off bookshop closed even at 9 pm, so I stop across the street and pick up a cover-price copy of "The Great Railway Bazaar," thanks to Don's prodding me and my list, and then we're up to The Coyote for a great Mexican dinner of good Carne Asada for me in sour cream in tortillas and rather stringy Chile Rellenos for Dennis, with a huge pitcher of rather tasteless Sangria, and the first use of our restaurant tickets reduces our $20.90 bill to $14.40, saving $6.50, not bad for a good place, and then walk back up to 14th and the subway to my place where I have half cognac and half maraschino while he smokes, and he gets into his cock and comes so sexily that I'm into my cock and come too, squirting all over the place, and we fall asleep pleased (with the "Star Wars" music, as I remember).

DIARY 13128

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 28. Up feeling sort of hangovery, but determined to get up and cook some more onions for another good onion omelet, with more yogurt, and when he leaves at 9:30 I decide I just have to do the dishes, which I do, and then sit down for a couple of hours with "Great Railway Bazaar" which is rather fetching, and then I decide I just HAVE to send the tape off to Bill, just to DO it, so I gather things to do and do lots of them; get three more letters from JOYI, mail the tape for 50, which I hope I remember, pick up Ketostix, $6.80 for 100 to them, then get cash from the bank for Rolf, who's making cookies and will deliver because Fred wants to buy my last 5, then cash the last JOYI checks and the MHT won't take a Canadian dime for anything (sell it to a dealer), and then buy groceries, so the only thing I DON'T do is pick up the laundry, so it's all fine. Then look for something to wrap the tape in and end up cleaning up the shelf with the envelopes on it, putting them on the side, throwing out some stuff, collating the vanishing supplies of carbon paper and correctype from Appleton from so many years ago, and then put the stuff back on the shelf to wait for the EB III placement. With all that, I get to the marking of the Pain index again from 3:20-4:05, marking 129-169, and then Rolf comes in JUST as Mrs. Johnson brings the painter in to look at the place, and it'll be done "next month" sometime, so THAT will be quite a trauma time-wise. Talk with him and chase him out about 5:10, and then get back to marking from 5:10 to 5:35, when Fred comes in, and he leaves and I shower for the evening and am just getting back to work at 6:05 when BRUCE buzzes and comes up the steps to have some Vandermint and says others are joining us and I'm glowing (and Fred LOVED the beard) and I dress and we leave about 7:25, so I get to Actualism early and there's an announcement for a boating party, which is nice, and then Rebekah gives a rare lesson and admits that we're going to have a few MORE power rays, but this is the last WE know, and it's a good session for everyone (see DIARY 13129). Out at 120 and buy red wine and sloe gin "Two things to add orange juice to" and Dennis has made a DYNAMITE chicken with walnut-spice stuffing which leads to a Hit Parade of dishes, then he starts smoking about 12:30 and gets into cock, but I don't feel like doing it, so he says he'll wait for the morning, too, so we're to sleep with me relieved.

DIARY 13130

THURSDAY, JUNE 29. Wake feeling horny, and Dennis is into his cock and a beam of sunlight strikes right on the bed as he gets into it, streaming come down his cock, and then I get into mine and come, and then he's up and showering and I'm resting, feeling good, and then up for his veal or lamb chops and vegetables and rice for a strange breakfast, and he doesn't manage to get out until 9:45, almost missing the subway because he has to buy tokens. Home and pick up the Chinese laundry, putting it away, and talk to Arnold, who volunteers his apartment for the time he's away, and we finally hang up and I get to marking the rest of the 264 pages from 11:20 to 12:40, then type the cards from 12:40 until 1, when the fabulous LAST third of "The Norman Conquests" is on TV until 3, almost better than part 1, making the mediocrity of Part 2 even more pitiable. Small section on Ayckbourn at the end, when Dennis calls, and then back to him and get back to finish typing the 439 cards from 3:10 to 3:50, and then just exactly finish the editing from 3:50-6, when I don't even have time for a shower but subway up to 19th, local standing right there, to get to 20th and 8th and The Golden Curry, where we sit in neat alcoves and enjoy breezes from the street since it's not air conditioned, and he has dryish biriani and I have good lamb and mushrooms for $4.75, going out to buy 2 great Millers for 90, and the poor waiter doesn't understand the ticket, but gives us $4.07 off to make it $7, with which I leave $1.50 tip, so it's $9.50 for a GREAT meal for two which Dennis doesn't care for. Up to Hand Over Mouth Hidden Theater at 336 W. 20th at 8:05 and Dennis has given in my last two TDF for an awful Gertrude Stein "Dr. Faustus Lights the Lights" (see DIARY 13131), the best part of which is looking across and seeing Ellen Sabine sitting there, and I talk about Actualism, ask if she knows about her white star, and she waves above and around her head and says she "knows about that flow," and I'm impressed. She said she might call. Out about 10 and subway to my place at 10:30 and Dennis reads Soho while I read mail and shower and he showers and we sit and listen to Beatles and I don't feel like sex AT ALL, and he smokes and listens and we get into it and he comes on my chest by about 12:30, and I hope to do lightwork but fall asleep just after lighting up the sun, not even the power ray.

DIARY 13134

FRIDAY, JUNE 30. Alarm rings at 7, Dennis lays and doesn't importune me, which is good, and then he's up and showering and I look at the clock at 7:45, and get up to take notes for Netherlands custom dream (see DIARY 13132), put on frozen carrots that are spongy and to fry eggs that turn out well, and then finish eating quickly and finish the paperclips in the editing from 8:30 to 8:45, and then start typing the 37 pages from 8:45 to 11:05, Dennis leaving about 9:15, taking the map so that Bob can pick it up from him, and then Sophie calls and says the ACC index won't be finished for a number of weeks yet, which is fine, and Azak calls to say we should meet at 4:30, not 4, and I phone Terry (Laura's got bronchitis and is sitting in the sun at Fire Island to cure it) who sends out a messenger who comes at 12:30, after I finish proofreading from 11:20-12:10, taking 12:40 out of which I can only charge them 12 hours, but I overcharged before, I know. Then put things from the index away, look at the Do-list which is actually getting done, and clip the tops of lots of pot plants before watching from 1-2 a rather spectacular program on Augustus of Saxony and Poland who amassed most of the "Priceless Treasures of Dresden" that have been loaned to Washington, then to the Met in October. Then get down to catching up on the diary, rather far behind, and had the last of the tuna casserole during the TV show, and went down for the mail to get lots to look through before that, but thankfully no letters to contradict those I've just sent out. Shower and wash my hair and do part of the diary typing before leaving at 4 to meet Azak in front of the closed pie-place at 4:42, then go to Renaissance to buy two shirts and a pair of linen pants for $90.72, giving them $120 as a first mistake which they correct gently, and then subway up to Fiorucci's, closed, try on $74 jeans in French Jean Shop, look at Madonna, too expensive for him, and I leave at 6:40 and subway to Sue Holt's at 7:05 for a good session in orange (see DIARY 13133), chat for a bit until 9, and get to Dennis's to find a note saying he's gone somewhere, so I subway home at 9:30, putting clothes away, putting on air conditioning, and finished typing these 8 pages, including Actualism page 9, at 10:55, time to stop! Read "Railway" for an hour, drinking brandy-maraschino, then jerk off with a limited amount of pornography, feeling good, and get to sleep at 1 am, not going beyond center 1 with lightwork.

DIARY 13137

SATURDAY, JULY 1. Wake at 6:50 with an incredibly detailed dream about a Labrador adventure (see DIARY 13136) that I note, then get back into bed and wake about 8:50 to start doing lightwork, thoughts racing, checking the clock at 9 and 9:30, and then get out of bed about 9:50, and JUST going to go into the john when Dennis calls and says he'll be over for breakfast, so I take my hamburger out and shit and wash my face and water the plants and get to typing these three pages, going down when the mailman buzzes thrice for indexes, and Dennis get in at 11, smiling and making coffee, and we sit down to breakfast. I mark initials on the JOYI material and get set for typing, orienting him on indexing the Anthropology book, and then watch "Bogota, One Day" on World from 1:30-3, rather boring, but the city has 5,000,000 people! Then we both watch "Strange Creatures of the Night" on a National Geographic Special, with a bizarre eyeless lizard of the caves, bats, fish, and vampires, and then at 4 I start typing some of the responses, getting into very confusing second sheets, and he showers and suggests (from my choices) that we try Delices de Saigon Restaurant, so I shower at 6:30 and we walk there by 7:05 and pay $12.30, including tax and tip, for a prix-fixe meal for $10 of scrawny, too-little duck with tasty appetizers that he couldn't eat because of crab paste and meat in soup, and delicious mandarin-cream pie for dessert, and back to watch spectacular purple sunset over VERY clear city until 9, when I buy the Times and get back to watch TV as he goes to check the movies and buy half-and-half, and I watch second half of "Fat Tuesday and All That Jazz!" with Arthur Hall Afro-American Dance Ensemble doing voodoo numbers with nice bodies, and it goes until 10, Dennis reading Times, and then I watch "Hail the Women" with a good Florence Vidor who leaves father who doesn't trust her, taking son's child when the poor woman who was ostracized dies, and everyone gangs up on the father, who has such a soppy reunion at the end he's obviously enjoying the whole masochistic thing. Dennis goes to bed at 11, and I watch "Two Ronnies" to 12, TV 5 hours today, read the Times and don't get the puzzle finished and get to bed about 1:30 to get only a bit of lightwork done before falling asleep about 1:45.

DIARY 13138

SUNDAY, JULY 2. Dennis is up at 9 and showering, I make notes from 2 dreams (see DIARY 13144) so I make pancakes for breakfast, and he'd asked me what "importune" meant when I said he didn't do it one morning, and I said "bother," so he's not bothering me at ALL recently about jerking off, which makes me feel sad for his sorrow about that. I get to typing some more, and at 1 he says he's ready to type, but that he's hungry for lunch, so I make spaghetti with good pizza sauce, but no garlic toast and no vegetable, since I'm not that hungry, and he has some yogurt to fill in his empty spaces. Then I cut-and-tape the JOYI response sheets, going from an original set of 31 pages to 92 pages, really too much, but I can easily tabulate and type answers and then tape pages back TOGETHER again to reduce that volume by at least half. He finished typing and I've been watching TV AGAIN today for 5.5 hours, same as yesterday, but 11 hours for the 2-day weekend DOES seem a BIT much!? Camera Three at 11 was a sort of bore with Yugoslavian Cinema with an awkward John Simon, then "Great Adventure" is a CRASHING bore with the captain of the "Venture" visiting Pitcairn Island and showing NOTHING of the island, only his exploding rocks in Botany Bay, and nothing much of Marquesas (swept clean by every monsoon) and Solomons, either, and then we watch the end of "Beast from 20,000 Fathoms," some reviewer mixed up since there's a fabulous scene of panicking people and trampling cars on Wall Street, and then he ends up in Coney Island with the roller coaster fire after being shot in the wound with radioactive isotopes, with Paul Christian, Paula Raymond, and Cecil Kellaway getting swallowed underwater saying "And the most incredible thing is..." But the review said "freezing Times Square windup." That goes to 5, and I put on turkey breast and continue typing, then watch "Melanesia" on "Journey to Adventure," which adds nothing to the brochure I got from PATA, and then continue typing, eat dinner, I leave to watch Cousteau's "Coral Divers of Corsica," with 1/4 program taken on someone's diving accident because there wasn't enough to fill the time, and then Dennis leaves, I type to 11:10, then jerk off nicely to film, VERY strong teased come, "gotten on" by typing JOYI responses, and watch "Alaska, the Closing Frontier" on Nova, pretty poor, and "Tribes" with Jan-Michael Vincent bringing meditation to the Marine Corps to 2:20, then bed, managing to get ANYWAY to center 9 before falling asleep about 2:40 am, alone.

DIARY 13142

MONDAY, JULY 3. Wake and thinking, then mailman buzzes at 9:25 with more indexing stuff, asking me to RE-SIGN since "I only signed initials before," and bills from Workman's Circle and Blue Cross. Do lightwork from 9:45-11, getting into a Thought-Whirl leading to story of Existential Being (see DIARY 13139), replay of the Lure of Alaska (see DIARY 13140), and thoughts of giving birth versus reincarnation (see DIARY 13141). Get to type those pages, pause to leave a message with Arnie, water plants, and spend about a half-hour updating the EB-map trip-listing from January 1975 to May 1978 to find when the last time I traveled ALONE was, which was 9 days in June, 1973, to North Cape, which was quite an adventure, so I AM tempted to try Alaska again. Type 5 pages, raining out and 65 only, by 1 pm, quite late! Get hungry and re-heat the turkey breast and eat some of that, sadly burning the marinade so that it's fairly dry, and then get back to typing JOYI and typing more of JOYI, and the time just zips past until 9 pm, when I stop to watch "The Grapes of Wrath" with only one intermission courtesy of IBM, and I phone Dennis but he's not home but phones 10 minutes later, saying he'd taken the garbage down (?) and he won't watch it on TV, and he gets the address for tomorrow. TV program ends at 11:20 and Linda calls and says that it's tomorrow 11-2 for the Neck-Hip-Spine training, and I phone Bruce and we talk until 11:50, but I still don't feel like going to bed, so I sort through the folders atop the bookcase and throw lots of things away and file lots of other things and come up with some more pages to type (see DIARY 13143-13144), and then empty the desk-file still more by putting more of the scrapbook stuff into the "to be filed" section of the scrapbook-file and sorting out the travel brochures that I want to put away, leaving them on the floor so it'll be obvious that I have to handle it without adding it to a list, which I've gotten down to 10 and am feeling very triumphant about, gluing a chair without thinking about it, having eggs, taking the garbage down and planning to do the dishes as something AUTOMATIC rather than listable, and I get to bed about 1:40, tired at last, but maybe pre-activated by the bodywork tomorrow.

DIARY 13146

TUESDAY, JULY 4. Had set the alarm for 9:40, but was up about 8:40 and moving around when Bruce called at 9 just to make sure I was up. Showered and shampooed and had some eggs again so I won't be operating on an empty stomach, and brush my teeth and get out at 10:30 to find that I just miss a subway and another doesn't come until 10:45, and so I'm there about 11:05, but they don't seem panicked about it. Verbal intro by Linda and she tells me to undress and stretch out, which I do at 11:15, and the session is not the most comfortable, but it's not impossible either (see DIARY 13147). Out about 2:30 and down with Bruce, phone Don to find him home and inviting, so I leave Bruce and walk over there and he makes me a screwdriver and looks pretty good, so we chat about everything under the sun, I call Dennis to come see us, but he's not home, then call Avi to find that Don can come if he wants, so I'm feeling pretty good when we get out at 4 and walk to Avi's and pass Dennis on the street on the way to pizza, so bring him along, and first off Avi takes me upstairs to see Jane Surrey's apartment, and she thinks she's seen me before, though she works at Newsweek, and she wants $22,500 for her tiny apartment, but I call up Dennis (who says the kitchen is too small) and Don Maloof, who says I should buy the one SHE wants to buy for $55,000, which is too much. Then back down and Art Bauman shows up with Joel (whom Dennis knows, whom I met at Henry's End) and Merrill, who I guess I met before some stoned evening, rather pleasant but forgettable, and we drink wine starting with champagne and then get started in multinational Monopoly, which goes slowly, through I'm entertained by acting as banker, and the others are smoking and goofing, and we're out at 8:40 to rush to the fireworks, rather a fiasco this year (see DIARY 13148), and we're back about 10, surprised to find Dennis and Joel there, and Avi's picked up Neil, who wanted someone to fuck him and was pleased when he met Avi, a former teacher, and I sort of wanted to finish, but everyone reluctantly went along until 1, when we counted up and I was second-last, others in good shape, and we staggered up to Dennis's, saying how pleasant it was, and we tumble into bed too tired to do anything, and I'm quite woozy from 6 bottles of wine 8 of us drank!

DIARY 13149

WEDNESDAY, JULY 5. Alarm goes at 7, but I was up before that bemoaning a heavy head from all the wine yesterday, hoping he wouldn't be interested, and the alarm goes and he gets up and puts on coffee and dresses to go out to get half-and-half, and I peep up at him, and he comes back and showers and drinks coffee and I hear him scrambling something up and I get up at 8:45, really pretty bad. The eggs with cheese and the rest of the nut-dressing are fabulous, as is the buttermilk-tomato soup, which TASTES like it today, and we leave at 9:30 and I'm home at 10 to type the page on the Alaska debate still going on (see DIARY 13145), and then phone Pope to tell him to send back book, but it turns out he SENT it back, but is going to Greenmarket today, and I want to go too. Phone Rodie Siegler and she, after about half an hour, says that the pages won't be ready by Friday, and I phone Dennis but he's in conference, so I leave and walk with Pope and John to the parking lot beyond BAM and there's only cherries for me to buy and radishes for him to buy and some green beans and lots of lettuce and cabbage and various greens, but only about 5 stalls there. Chat and back at 2 to phone Avi, where I left the umbrella last night, Dennis about arrangements for tonight, and then type another page but get out to wash dishes, listening to WBAI, pretty bad about food (no milk needed at ALL!) and the Bakke case (which was NOT good for the blacks, as the Times intimated), and I listen as I file away the travel-folder stuff, taking a LONG time, and when I washed the dishes I also thoroughly washed the stove and the toaster, taking about an hour at the whole job, and then Les called and arranged to meet me tomorrow, I finish reading the Times and fix up the living room (cherry pits and "chips" wrappers all over from "lunch") and put on the chicken, which I finish with the reconstituted Hoisin sauce, good, and brush teeth and shower and finish typing these four pages for the day at 7:32, feeling squishy inside (see DIARY 13151) having done NOTHING today! Dash out for Actualism, getting there just at 8:15 with almost everyone there, and the session improves on the day (see DIARY 13150). Out at 10:15 and get to Avi's, where he's walking the dog, and in at 10:30 to find that the program on Channel 13 at 10:30 is about the SHIP AT SAN DIEGO, the "Star of India," and phone Dennis, pick up the umbrella, have some grapefruit juice, phone Dennis about Elia Kazan on Cavett, and get up there with more wine about 10:55, listen to the end, and Dennis has made great pea soup with onions and croutons and another vegetable, so my meat dinner earlier was still OK with his food, and he gets into sex and comes and I feel like coming too, so I do, even though I'm tired, and we get to sleep about 1:30 as usual.

DIARY 13152

THURSDAY, JULY 6. Wake and get into sex AGAIN, and I come again, which surprises even me, and I've scratched the head of my cock, because it feels sensitive and sore for the next three days, through Saturday night as I write this, though it's getting better now. Then he cooks the soup again and makes nice toast with it, and then I sit and almost finish my book while waiting for Les to call until 11:30, but then call Avi and say I'm going home, and get home at 12 to find that he's called MY place at 11:45, so I phone him back and he calls Avi, who's on the phone, so Avi calls HIM and he's supposed to come over THERE at 1 and then call me when I get back from the dentist's. I read the mail and put the dishes away and was about to get into something useful when the buzzer goes and it's the EB III, or two-thirds of it, so I read that, then get out at 1:45 to get to Arnie's to pick up some clipping he has for me, say farewell for his first trip to the Berkshires on Saturday, and get the ticket he doesn't want that Avi wants for the Chinese on Friday. Then get to HIP at 2:15 and Campesis is busy, so I sit and read "Bardo Thodol" (had finished reading "The Great Railway Bazaar" after leaving the subway this morning) until 2:50, when I say I have an appointment with Dr. Winston at 3, woman makes a BIG scene about it, and Kampesis tells her that I was first! Tonometry was OK, I go down just at 3, he takes me in and I tell him about Sheik's pin, and he says she did reasonably good work, and then drills a "keyhole" in the old filling and avoids the pin and most of the old filling, putting in temporary filling after searing the flesh from the side, and I'm out at 3:10, shaky but feeling better. Home to read more EB, phone Avi for no answer, Les phones me at 4:10, comes over at 5, and I just read more of EB III, then make him a screwdriver, we talk, roam the Heights down Hicks, looking at Grace Court, up Joralemon to Henry to see Hunts Lane, then down Pierrepont to the Promenade, which he likes, takes pictures, sits and talks, down to Cherry then Willow then Clark by 7, Times Square to 7:30, and I dash to 8th to find GREAT chicken stew with rice and "habichuelas" (kidney beans) and bread and butter and raisins and olives for $2.05+45 tax and tip, then to "American Dance Machine" with Dennis and Jody and Dana until 10 (see DIARY 13153) and they drive us up to Dennis's, up for sloe screws and talk about Dennis talking to Art Director about Tree after their party, but we're both tired so into bed at 12:30 without sex, well, he comes and I say "tomorrow," GOOD!

DIARY 13154

FRIDAY, JULY 7. Up, lying about, Dennis gets out and showers, and I get up later, feeling VERY TIRED for some reason, and starting to get a little ticky pointed headache about two inches back from the top of my right ear, when I hawk snot and swallow, or just when I'm looking at something. Have more soup for breakfast, which is fine with me since it tastes so good, and then feel very AWAY from him, particularly when he joins me on the crowded express when I thought I'd left him, and get home to pick up 4 letters from JOYI and get $21 worth of groceries and get home to thankfully find no messages from Les, who's probably gone for good, and call Avi and try to arrange a restaurant, but Monastery isn't good for Fridays and when I try to call him later, he's not in. I read EB III, getting tired of thumbing through it, and then the guy buzzes with the last box, and I spend about an hour putting the stationery and supplies into the top right drawer so that I have ONE shelf free for EB, then put the envelopes and rest of the stuff to the sides, and then move up the travel stuff, and dust them off and WASH them off and it takes a long time, but it looks GREAT to be finished, and then I get down still another volume and page through it, reading some of the short articles, and I'm starting to get concerned about other work, but nothing is done on the diary, Barbara calls to say she's sending me an index from Springer, so that's THREE that I'll have to do again, and then shower and have nothing to eat except cherries and chips before getting out at 5 to Avi's at 5:55 to find him walking the dog AGAIN, and we talk till 6:30 then get out to Indian Oven, talking with the lovely woman from Greece with her three daughters, getting overcharged LOTS then only pay $25 for a not bad MEAL, but still overcharged for tandoori chicken-half, 3 shrimps, ladle of HOT mulligatawny, tiny portions of regular meal, naan, wheat poori, good dal, and he gets iced coffee and dessert and we have a half-carafe of white wine that makes me SWING down the street for the Chinese Performing Arts (see DIARY 13155) which he and Dennis leave at intermission for, which is great, since my headache is at its peak, so I get home about 11 and read more EB until 12:45, then lotion face and sit doing lightwork, until 1:30, not really feeling COMFORTABLE with it yet, very tired, and stumble to bed.

DIARY 13156

SATURDAY, JULY 8. Wake at 9 and get up to shower and read EB III volumes and simply don't eat, which comes in handy when Dr. Daoud, taking me at 11:50 after 11:20 appointment, says everything looked good except serum calcium, so I'll have to have another blood sample taken, and he says my headache sounds normal, so I shouldn't worry about it, and in fact the same evening it's essentially gone, though I took two aspirin at 10:30. Pick up one more letter from JOYI, then lots of mail, and look through all of it and then just get back to the thumbing through of EB III, doing about 4 macros and 2 micros, about my limit for the day, but then only 3 more days at that rate would finish it completely. Stop thumbing to eat rest of lush cherries and gobble butterscotch drops and chips, then put on hamburger for Chunichi cup, Hollywood Stunt Competition, and Acrobatic Diving Championship from 4:30-6:30 on various sports programs, then thumb a bit more, lay down feeling dreadful, then drag myself out of bed to type about Satiety (see DIARY 13157) at 7:40, and then "When I Felt Totally Lost" (see DIARY 13158) which came out of that, and that gets me continuing with 11 pages typed through the day until 10 pm, when I watch "Peg O' My Heart" with Laurette Taylor just god-awful as a young girl, and no WONDER she didn't work until playing Amanda in "Glass Menagerie," she was so bad, and then JUST at the end at 11:10 turn on the climax of "The Hindenburg," still frightening and convincing, until 11:30, and then watch "The Man" with James Earl Jones playing a president who finally takes hold, but it's just not COSMIC enough, and go out for the Times, feeling rather paranoid about the crowd in front of Corios, black and shouting and loud, at 12:30, and work both puzzles until about 3:30, getting to bed at 4 feeling pretty drowsy, but HAD done some lightwork THIS MORNING, so that was OK, and then lathered and lotioned face and got into bed as it was getting light out again, and then ROGER EVANS woke me "in the middle of the night," calling from San Diego from 7:15-8:25 NY time, so it was 4:15-5:25 HIS time, and since I got more sleep AFTER, until 11:50, I'll consider that part of TODAY, and he said LOTS (see DIARY 13159) and I got back to sleep with no trouble, since woman upstairs seems quite quiet most of the time now.

DIARY 13161

SUNDAY, JULY 9. Wake from 7:15-8:25 to talk to Roger Evans (see DIARY 13159) and then get up at 11:50 to phone Don Maloof and he says to meet at his place at 7, as Dennis said when I phoned him earlier, and I've put on hamburger so that I'll eat something earlier, then wash the lotion off my face, have hamburger, and get engrossed in Ouspensky's chapter in "Experimental Mysticism" and write about simplicity versus complexity in IT (see DIARY 13160) as a result of it, and then finish the chapter and put a few things away and look up Mancala in EB and type these 4 pages by 4:50, and the time has just GONE and all I've done is read, typed, and looked in EB, and watered the plants. No index work done yet, but at least now I'm up to DATE here! Then, perversely, I feel like jerking off, so I do, and that feels so good that I continue to indulge myself in thumbing through EB III up to the time I have to get on the subway, 6:30, for Don's, getting in at 7:15, and Dennis is there, Don's on the phone, and Ernie is rather sexy and pleasant, and we sit around drinking wine, petting the dogs, and Avi invites us over for chocolate cake, and I gorge myself on three pieces, since I hadn't eaten since "breakfast" and we have more to drink and look at his place again and then he agrees to come with us to the Puerto Rican Festival, so we're out to CPW and grab a checker cab at 8:30 to 106th and Lexington, and walk one block north and there's a whole BLOCK of rubbish with food stands fronting for liquor stands, rides, and a bandstand with people dancing on the broken bricks, and I get a pint of Ruby Sunshine, or something like that, and then a yam-banana fried thing that's tasty, then a meat-stuffed fritter with no meat in it, and Ernie gets cotton candy, Don and Ernie and I ride the octopus, they playing ball tag, and then Avi and I ride the ferris wheel while Don and Ernie get another car and Dennis stands below, looking out of place, and there are cute kids and muscle builders and crotches, lot of gambling, and then when I suggest we've had it, they all agree and we have to walk, they all very paranoid, to Fifth and 104th to get a taxi to Don's for more drink and talk until Dennis is sleepy at 12:05, so we sing "Happy Birthday" to Avi and elevator down, and Dennis undresses and washes and plops exhaustedly into bed without sex.

DIARY 13162

MONDAY, JULY 10. Wake and Dennis doesn't press for sex again, which makes me even guiltier than before. Soup and toast for breakfast and I shower and do lightwork for 30 minutes before getting out to Winston at 11 to get my arteries reamed out (see DIARY 13163), leaving at 12:30 not making another appointment and getting home at 1, finding a great letter from Ted Steell with his membership list, and now I'm torn over what to do. Read rest of mail and get out at 1:50 to wait about 20 minutes while he takes others, and then he fills the thing quickly, taking the temporary out with one pick, which is good, and then I'm home to contemplate TYPING the names onto cards, but then it comes to me to USE A LABEL for the cards, and I sit down with enormous delight and transfer 209 labels to 209 cards, sort them out, and then page through to see which are common members of both organizations, surprised that there are only 14, 16 if you include the two of us, and make a list of 7 people so that I'll add 5 states to my list, missing only Alaska, Delaware, North Dakota, and Rhode Island, and then get out Information Please to see if these are the states with the smallest population, and they're in the lowest 10, anyway. Anything not to work! Then I can't figure what else to do so I return to thumbing through the EB III, taking time out to make hamburger, swabbing out the bottom of the refrigerator from the defrosted duck that I haven't made yet, and wonder how much longer I'll be tied up in going through EB. Wonder so much that I decide to keep on doing it, getting to the section on Metaphysics in volume 12 by 11 pm, so tired that I feel like going to bed, but then start reading that section and get absolutely tied up in J.J.C. Smart and his writings (see DIARY 13169), leaving the books scattered all over the floor, finishing up the butterscotch drops, eating tons of the chips, not having anything to eat until about 2 am, when I make myself some scrambled eggs while reading the last article on Utilitarianism, eyes sore from so much reading, but it just feels so GOOD to be able to go through and FIND INFORMATION in such an organized way that I'm delighted to spend the time that way, even though I DO kick myself about not doing indexes sooner!

DIARY 13164

TUESDAY, JULY 11. Wake about 9, get up to start paging through, and then it hits me that I really should FINISH this today, since I'll just be wanting to do it until I do, so I thumb and thumb and thumb, relieving myself by going down for the mail, taking out the laundry so that I can pick it up on Thursday, and stopping by at the post office to pick up LOTS of answers from Steell and an "ad" from Pollack that I sit for MINUTES debating what to do with it, and then decide that I SHOULD do lightwork, so I do it for about an hour, feeling pretty good, and then I'm hungry so I make hamburger, so with all that I have enough to do before not having time to shower and getting a call from Dennis that he wants to go to the Olympia tonight, so who am I to say no? Also get a call from Rodie saying that the pages won't be in until NEXT Tuesday, and getting a call from Barbara Bullied---no, getting the INDEX from Barbara Bullied, which depresses me since she wants it in two weeks. Back to thumbing, thumbing, thumbing, doing about 12 volumes in this last day, and FINALLY getting it finished and making up statistics on it (see DIARY 13168) which makes me VERY happy. Then out at 7:15 to talk to Larry Kaina-Nabarra about his playing at Hawaii Kai for 2 years, and he DIES Wednesday! Have a slice of pizza for 35 and meet Dennis at 7:55 for "Jabberwocky," which begins in perfect mystery-style with a camera-eye monster, a frightened victim who then is dropped to earth to be revealed as a bloody-sharded skeleton, rather gory, then it happens again and again and Michael Palin coracles through a shit-filled lake to see Griselda in a PERFECTLY CONVINCING Middle-Ages set of England, and then at the end Jabberwocky APPEARS as in the drawings, but huge and RATHER nicely manipulated, with pigeon-shit blood and dirty brown eye-ball filler that's QUITE awful, and the kid's voice says "He killed him!" with such glee that it relieves the agony in the theater. "Coming Home" is unbelievable because of the stiffness of Bruce Dern's character, admirably played, and Voigt and Fonda should be up for Academy Awards AGAIN for their fabulous characters. Dern's suicide silly in the bare-ass. Out at 12, Dennis starved, so we wait for a cheese pizza and have it at his place, and again we get to bed without sex, but cuddle and kiss so it SEEMS to be OK, but he's getting somewhat sharp with me, and I'm feeling that something's wrong again.

DIARY 13165

WEDNESDAY, JULY 12. Up for the rest of the pizza re-warmed for breakfast, and I'm home to finish reading "Tibetan Book of the Dead," which brings up SO many ideas that I type the only page of the day on the idea that "knowledge isn't enough" (see DIARY 13166), intending to continue with a page about the Book of the Dead (see DIARY 13167), a page about paging through EB III (see DIARY 13168), and a page about metaphysics in EB III (see DIARY 13169), but I don't get to doing that until the FOLLOWING day, since I looked at my calendar and phoned for the schedule and decided I wanted to see the double at the Bleecker Street, which I called Dennis about and he didn't want to see. Had hamburger so I wouldn't feel hungry, while showering was when I made it, and this morning the bathroom carpet was WET, and when I called Mrs. Johnson she said Mrs. WATSON left her water running for 10 minutes last night, flooding THREE bathrooms on this line---4 including Watson's, and she's DREADFUL. That puts me into such a funk that I can't think of doing anything, so I water the plants and find the book-have list and start checking off what I DO have for retyping it, which makes me feel dreadful since it does NOT need doing, though it IS over a year (7/77) since I did it last and I want to go to Canfield's with an updated list tomorrow, phoning George Pierson and leaving word that I want a body-session tomorrow since Malcolm says he's all booked up until he leaves the state (though I fume when he tells MICHAEL that he's available "any time next week"). Then out at 3 to "Rouge et Noir" exactly 20 years after seeing it before, and they're SO egocentric it's not worth seeing, and Sorel's a coward, opportunist, dreamer, and scalawag not worth hoping for, so his "courage" to die at the end isn't as impressive as HER dying three days later. "The Clockmaker" is boring Simenon, which I should have expected from a John Simon rave review, and leave at 7:50 having had a slice of birthday cake and the delight of getting into NEXT Wednesday's movie for $1.50! To Actualism for a new power ray the Subtle Warrior (see DIARY 13170), and to Dennis's, buying Crème de Cassis, and he's made baked onions, in scotch, fabulous; PEAR-BARLEY-MILK soup, which is a DREAM; and breaded chicken hearts, which he mistakenly boils, so they're not super, but we have LOTS of wine and get into GREAT sex, BOTH of us shooting a lot, despite the fact that I CAME today with GREAT pause and GREAT total-semen-flow as a "maxi-cum" before orgasm, bed 1:15!

DIARY 13171

THURSDAY, JULY 13. Alarm wakes him horny and he cuddles with it and gets into it for ANOTHER great felt come, and then we have more of the burnt-onto-bottom barley-pear soup, with toast, and he leaves at 9:30 and I shower at 10, then get out about 10:30 to walk across the park, entering at 86th St. and passing a dynamite new playground, graffittied to death, past athletes practicing running backward-and-forward swiveling their hips, onto the point to see the canoe-retrievers coming back to the cove, black smoke over CPW, then past almost-empty snack bar, the boat pond, where a medieval band plays beautifully across the water from the Alice statue. Onto 71st and pass Knoedler, which reminds me of the Mexican exhibit, and across to the Marcuse Pfeifer Gallery for her Nude Male Photographs, cute kid playing with his penis, one grown-up holding his erection in the bin, some sexy ones, some awful ones, some humpy numbers looking at the exhibit, no buying, but I buy a $5 book for the souvenir-value. Around corner to Canfied and Stephens to find they don't have many books at all, but some ARE interesting: "Updike's Cunts" for $40, Nabokov's "Poetry" for $75, Bradbury's "Golden Apples of the Sun" for $40, but I don't really NEED them. Filming on 70th, up to Knoedler for $2 and Mexican stuff, arresting camel pelvis carved into pig head from 10,000 BC, first sculpture in Americas, Spanish junk below, then down to Hammer for the Mexican artist section, Riviera's wife portraying her two hearts, then across to Tramway station at 12:45, across bright river, bridge being painted, take minibus to Sloans, wait to complete circle from 1:05, humpy delivery boy sunning himself on pavement, off to walk around south end, stop in Green Restaurant for pastrami (thick and fat) and tell George, passing, that I'll be up at 2:30, he says take time, so I walk north and get to his place at 2:45, we talk till 3:30 (see DIARY 13172), then after, leave at 5, across tramway to BMT, home at 6 for messages from Andre, who comes over for a Niagara Falls brochure and activates a roach in my paper-towel holder; Mark, whom I call the next AM and he says he'll call me back about India; Laird to thank me for Les; Don about the weekend, and I get Elaine, who has no room; Warren has moved; Lois doesn't answer. Police radio sounds downstairs; phone Johnson; Larry Kaina-Nabarro died of heart attack yesterday, day AFTER I talked to him on subway, and HE was coughing from something, went to doctor but he didn't help, died of heart attack probably aided by his being so much overweight. Johnson was disturbed "so I got up at midnight to wash my hair." I type 6 pages in all, roast duck, watch poor "Tunes of Glory" when Mills kills self because he can't replace Guinness in his rowdy battalion's heart, Susanah York cute.

DIARY 13174

FRIDAY, JULY 14. Wake at 7:50 and drop back asleep to dream about church slide-box lights (see DIARY 13173), which I take notes on at 9:30, and just after that the buzzer goes at the door; I figure it's Mrs. Johnson about Larry's death yesterday, so I put on shorts and fling open the door and get a fairly cute, but diffident guy saying "Sorry I woke you, my name's Rick, and I'm a Jehovah's Witness." I SLAM the door in his face and get back into bed to feel my stomach and chest HOT with hate-rage, MUCH to my surprise, and trot out the Pink to deal with it, and get up about 10 to try phoning Lois again, not getting her, and phone weather report at 11, since it looks rainy-starting out, and there are showers through the weekend, so I call Don and tell him about it, he says we'll see; phone Dennis and tell him about Larry and I'd gone to see Mrs. Johnson about getting the apartment, which is rent-controlled at $155 now, so it MIGHT be under $200 for Dennis! He likes the idea, wants to see it after it's opened in 2 weeks, talking about "living in a dead Hawaiian's apartment!" and I get a call from Bruce, talking for about 30 minutes, which he loves because I'm getting physical now, and he says he'll call me back, and Dennis says he wants to see "The Swarm" at 7:40 at the Cinerama and then have dinner on the plan in Times Square, which is great, and I've had hamburger and brushed teeth and killed roaches and put things away and washed dishes to be clean for the weekend and typed 6 pages by 2:55 pm, SLOW! But I picked up the laundry, got Pope to say we'd meet before his vacation at the end of July, and Paul's friend called from Jersey to say HE'D get rooms for Paul. Then I count the number of JOYI questionnaires left (13) and send those out, putting stuff away until I get more responses before typing more of them out, and then decide to finish checking off which books I have, stopping to shower and have more hamburger since there's not much else to eat, at 5:15, and keep talking to Don about weekend and trying no-answer Lois and talking again to Bruce, and get out at 7 for a long line which turns out to be a sneak of "Sergeant Pepper," which I would have liked to see, but back to find Dennis and see rather boring "The Swarm" with train wreck, bees, and Houston afire, then to an empty Martas of Bergen Street for tasty kidneys and veal ala Marta (with mozzarella) for $13, gaining $5.75 more on meal tickets, then dessert in Zum-Zum and subway to Dennis's for sloe-screw frappes, smoking, and sex, he coming slowly, me exhausted, to sleep about 1:15.

DIARY 13192

SATURDAY, JULY 15. Wake to the sound of hard rain, a pleasant sound since it means I won't be going with Don this weekend, and dream a fragment where there's "sticky candy" stuck to the bottom of my cock, and it turns out to be PART OF THE TIP, though it doesn't hurt or look diseased. Rather odd. We both play, I jerk off standing over him, he doesn't come. Up at 9:30 and talk to Don and Dennis heats pear-barley soup and we leave at 10:05 to get to his 10 am haircut appointment and I'm home to get a letter from Tree from HIM, saying we have to talk about relationship, and I phone Dana to leave word I got the letter (written Tuesday, postmarked Wednesday PM---no mail delivery here Friday), and he calls at 2 and we talk about it, and I take notes on the pluses and minuses of our relationship (see DIARY 13193). Finish checking off the books on the Old Book List (see DIARY 13175-13182) and type the New Book List (see DIARY 13183-13191), then put the pages into the diary and type this page for the day, "caught up" at 3:20 pm at LAST! Get out the "Immunotherapy of Human Cancer" book out to index, reading and marking the first 100 pages in the 110 minutes from 3:25-5:15, then type 283 cards from 5:15-6:05, then mark through 196 through 7:30, type 182 more cards until 8, then mark to 278 until 9:25, when I've worked 6 hours for the day and want to go out for the Times and have put on the duck for only the second time and it seems that there's not much to eat on it. Turn on TV at 10 to watch "Souls for Sale" on "Lost and Found," and for 1923 it's somewhat better than the others: the circus fire at the end was good, the woman at the piano is from it, as are lots of frames from the trailer to the series, and Elinor Boardman is so awful in the acting sequences it's amazing that she's at all believable in the movie itself. Then at 11:30 switch back and forth from Chevy Chase on "Saturday Night Live" to "From Paris with Love," the 3-hour special from Paris, but except for Gilbert Becaud (not very good-looking OR good-singing), Charles Aznavour (looking old and moving almost not at all), there's not much: Michael Strogoff, The Lawyer Who Would Kill His Wife, some country story, and it ends with a fairly sexy Marseilles Ballet in Roland Petit's "Pink Floyd Ballet" at 2:30, and I get to Center 1 in lightwork but fall asleep about 3 am, not even brushing my teeth after lots of chips, having gotten into both puzzles but finishing neither, but eyes closing in fatigue.