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1978 6 of 10

DIARY 13195

SUNDAY, JULY 16. Wake about 10, vague dream-memory evaporating, and finish both puzzles, watch a pretentious Cliff Jahr talking about progress in Television with some Kennedy speechwriter who wrote a book about it, and finish reading the Times at 1, clipping articles, and Dennis calls and I put on hamburger for eating lunch, exercise for the 5th straight day and feeling good about it, then put everything away and start back on marking 279-302 from 2:30-2:50, type 251 till 3:35, mark rest through 406 till 5, 104 pages in 85 minutes pretty good. Rolf calls and gets the names of the books I lent to him; I type for 5 minutes before he comes over and looks in EB III for information on solar cells, saying that it doesn't give him all he needs to know, and then he leaves at 5:30, during which time I sorted out the 904 cards, then edited from 6-9, pleased that it's taking a shorter time, but not pleased that I'm left with only 810 cards. Do lightwork from 9:05-10, feeling that I'm really getting into RESULTS on the PHYSICAL level now (see DIARY 13196) and disgusted to find AMOUNT of body hair (see DIARY 13197), and then put on the duck for the third and last portion and type the page of plusses and minuses in the relationship (see DIARY 13193) that I hadn't added much to since yesterday, and then start a page on ideas for "evolving" cartoon-sequences, coming up with only 10 this evening but finishing with a smash-list of 33 tomorrow (see DIARY 13194), and then it's 10:25 and I cut rest of duck and watch what might be a new Monty Python for me from 10:30-11, and then I'd planned to do assorted things but had drunk wine with dinner and just sat and watched "Independent Focus" for "Briefly Brian" about a boy who cuts school, "Last Rites," a rather pretentious thing about a pretty boy being hugged by an ugly crazy-woman, and "La" by Philip Marc Tarley, who obviously has money, and shows a naked "autistic" kid whose father is beautiful and nude at one point and whose mother is over-madeup and blowsy so the buy SEEMS to be gay, ending in a decadent bar with a short-sleeve humpy waiter and the kid "passes through a mirror to a world laden with Jungian images of his psyche" and it's about as good as "Inauguration of the Pleasure Dome," and he should go far. Then watch Nova's "Green Machine" with Backster zapping philodendrons and some West Coast religionist talking about plant's fields and praying and finding "thought-about" plants grow 60% bigger, and they don't even bother to say that this is an item to be DISBELIEVED. Bed at 1:45.

DIARY 13198

MONDAY, JULY 17. Wake about 9:10, vague travel-dream evaporating, and feel so good lying there that I decide to start lightwork at 9:25, doing rather well while luxuriating, and finish by getting up to shit at 10:05, and then finish with 23 great ideas for "evolving" cartoon-sequences (see DIARY 13194) and catch up with some stray ideas from last night (see DIARY 13196 on Actualism, 13197 on body hair), and finish this fourth page to date at 11:10 am. Glance out at the roof next door and see "The Roofer" (see DIARY 13199) and watch him until 1:15, eating breakfast of three scrambled eggs and a muffin at 12:30, which turns out to be the last food I have in a number of hours. Then heat water to water plants, bring in new Brooklyn phonebooks, and heat water to wash my smelly underarms before going to check JOYI, only one, at 1:40 and getting to dentist's chair at 2 precisely with a shot and a HORRID tug, pull, filling-wedge, tsk-tsk-tsk of a drill on the next-to-last molar on upper right, and he says not to drink water for 2-3 hours, not to eat extreme-temperature food for at least 48 hours, so I get home to phone Dennis and tell him about my trauma, and later Susan calls back and we agree to try for lunch on Wednesday, maybe with Dennis, and Terry Kornak says Laura will have to say whether I do the author index for "Immunotherapy" or not "But we have lots of books for you." I type the 40 pages from 3:05 to 5:30, then proofread from 5:30 to 6:30, finishing up all but the memo and bill in case they want that index done. Not really hungry, so I just drink some water and try phoning to see if I'm rent-stabilized, but try 3 numbers and then get a constant busy signal. Start looking through for all my old rejection slips, but get involved in a total file reorganization that takes about 11 hours. Stop at 9 for a pretty poor BBC production (AT the Tower of London??) of "Yeoman of the Guard"; poor diction, simplistic acting, no one sexy, and only two nice songs: Act I's "Sighed for the Love of a Lady" (sipped no sup and craved no crumb) and Act II's "When a Lover Goes A-Wooing" (oh, the sighing and the sueing, the wooing and undoing). Listen to a sensible Isaac Bashevis Singer (who does his OWN translations!) on Cavett, then watch "Secret Service" from 11:30-1:30, and it's ALL CLIMAXES: he's innocent/guilty; she informs/doesn't; Wilfred (cute Scardino) is dead, then he isn't; Marybeth Hurt is addled then sensible as femme-fatale Caroline; Meryl Streep is false then true as heroine Edith; Lithgow is a scalawag/hero/informer/nobleman as Mr. Thorne, and Lenny Baker and Rex Robbins have bit. Bed at 2 with lotion and water, NO food (go through ORANGE quickly in bed!).

DIARY 13203

TUESDAY, JULY 18. Wake about 8:10 and listen to her bumping around upstairs until she leaves early, then start lightwork about 8:50 and finish rather contentedly at 9:50, then really don't feel hungry, so I have some water and the buzzer goes for the mail, and I get rest of Cardiac Arrhythmia index (just another item for the do-list!) and Terry calls to say I shouldn't do the author index for Immunotherapy, so I'm done with that. Then read most of the New York Magazine on est, Actualizations, gay in CP, aperitifs, dog-poop scooping, and whole-block buildings, and LO it's NOON! Get back to pulling things out of the filing cabinet to collate my fiction-rejections (see DIARY 13200), and find some things that I can add to the diary like the list of items I published in the River (see DIARY 13201) and the list of authors published in the River (see DIARY 13202), and then move books and travel sections and waste paper and file folders around and around, erasing enough last night with the ink eraser to give me a blister on my middle finger, right hand, doing and doing and doing until they're all put away, I know I have had 177 rejections since July 1962, or 163 since July 1968, and go to phone Dennis in the middle of it and find my phone's off, so I check the wires and go down to Mrs. Johnson's to report it and phone Dennis, who still doesn't know whether he wants to join us for lunch tomorrow. Find my phone's fixed about 6, and phone man phones about 7, and type the bill and memo on Immunotherapy and sit down to get these 4 pages into diary by 7:40, doing LOTS on the totally empty stomach since 31 hours, and I'm ALREADY highly ketotic! Start editing the third JOYI page and stop at 8 to turn on 13 and find that "Guale" about the Georgia coast has been replaced by "The World Today" about Jews and Germans trying to get out of Russia, which I watch the first and part of the second half of, but it's not terribly interesting, except for the fact that they DO let some out. Finish a draft and then type the page in good shape by 11, then start looking for a record that I SAW "Pleasure Garden" before, and can't find it. Turn on "North Star: Mark diSuvero" from 11:30-12:30, about giant sculptures by man who had his legs crushed in an elevator accident in the 60s, whom Pope's doing a chart for, and then look for records through DATEBOOK pages, frustrated as hell, until about 1:45, when I eat 2 eggs DELICIOUS ending 37-hour fast! Doing more orange lightwork before sleep, face lotioned, and I actually changed BED CLOTHES today, too, about 2 am.

DIARY 13211

WEDNESDAY, JULY 19. Wake about 8:30, lie until about 8:45, do lightwork until about 9:30, then up to phone for the Carnegie Hall Cinema schedule, talk to Pope for a long time, AGAIN looking like I might go to Canada, or at least as far as Calgary or Edmonton or Peace River or as far north as they'd go in Alberta. Dennis has class at 12:30 so he can't join us for lunch, then make a list of restaurants available and decide on Tandoor, since the coupon says "Entrée/ dinner" without a time limit, but they might not accept it for lunch, and they don't. Meet Susan there at 12:30, wait until 1:15 to be served cold nan, cool beef kurma, but it's tasty and good for $5.50 for the special lunch, and I eat lots since I'm still hungry from my 37-hour fast of Monday and Tuesday. Leave about 2, searching Brentano's for Smart and finding none, then leave index off at Raven and xerox 58+58+76 or almost 200 sheets before I fill my envelope and it's 3:50, so I want to see the last 5 minutes of "Pleasure Garden" but they won't allow seating in the last 30 minutes, so I write a complaint. In for odd "Rich and Strange" where two people get uncle's money and go aboard ship where he's sick and she gets won by a Malayan trader, he's swindled by a phony princess, and their ship sinks, they get aboard a Chinese junk, rescued, live happily and arguing after. Out to shop at Marlboro's and get a book on self-stimulation, the first I've seen, then to Bookmasters and find McPhee's "Pumpkin Seed" and Herbert's "Godmakers," then to Coliseum to find nothing new, then walk up CPW to read part of "Pumpkin Seed," Meg passes by, we tour roof, she tells me of Asa's looking to share their $300/ month apartment, down to a processing-filled session (see DIARY 13212), out at 10:15, giving $2 for a gift for Rebekah's goodbye, buying wine, to Dennis's to chat nicely and he agrees that he ORDERS me someplace three or four times a month since I'm not going so many places recently, then have his chicken and rice with roux, a bit heavy but nicely buttery with wheat flour, and his astounding red beet halva with pecans, then he smokes and we get into HEAVY sex and he shoots quite hard and I jerk off nicely and spray, smelly, and we're to bed at 1:40, really much too late, since I'm wiped out in the morning, lots of wine and cassis, too.

DIARY 13213

THURSDAY, JULY 20. Alarm at 7, sweating from a warm night, and my hair is sticking up REFUSING to lay flat. Dennis "carries" me out of bed at 8:45, where I'd gone back to sleep, and we have rice and scrambled eggs and toast, leaving at 9:25 to get onto a crowded local which drops me on 72nd, which is followed by 3 more locals and lots of sexy shorts and jeans, and then home to check out science-fiction addresses, find Shanghai Review and White Light are not publishing, find no Smart, check out three Bevington's from the Heights library, over to the PO to get 4 more JOYI questionnaire requests, still coming, and buy cotton balls and meat and get home at 11 to get lots of calls without messages, one from Avi but he's not home, and Dennis calls to say we should meet at Barrett's at 5:55 and then to 20th Century. I put things away from 24 hours away, look at Canada maps for a long time, finding that I said almost NOTHING about that stretch of the trip in July, 1968, and generally mope around doing nothing, putting 100 JOYI returns on long envelopes as a start, but I have to get more, and send a "page three" to Ted for his OK. Terry calls with a long index ending in September (700 pages), and I put IN the three JOYI pages (see DIARY 13207-13209) and the page about feeling myself pulling away in time (see DIARY 13210), type the Actualism page, so that's 8 I've added today, good, but it's VERY late at 2:35, NOTHING today. Start on the Conditioning index at 2:40, but by 3:15 I've only done 19 pages and figure that this is a JOB, and then am hungry so I have the penultimate yogurt with cherry jam while reading my book, and then get back at 3:50-4:30 to get through page 32, but the worst of it, I hope, is over. Shower and dress and get out to meet Dennis at just 5:55 at E.F. Barrett and Co., and the waiters are VERY pretty but the food's not extraordinary for $32, but the liter of wine sets us up for a nice stroll up Broadway to the St. James and into our seats across from Bob Grossman and Guy St. Clair for a VERY delightful "On the Twentieth Century" (see DIARY 13214) until 10:30, and then subway to my place and he smokes and I make a whipped maraschino/ sciarada/ Marnier cocktail that tastes good, and he gets into his cock and I get into mine, and we both come, kissing and necking, and bed at 12:30, fairly early.

DIARY 13215

FRIDAY, JULY 21. Alarm rings and Dennis lies, and I'd just dreamed of many glorious guys being sucked off, so I went down on him and got his cock hard and we played for a long time and he jacked off to our pleasure, and then I went and got half-and-half since the unopened one was sour already, and he promised me last night he'd find me a recipe for sour-cream pancakes. I make bacon and onion too burnt for the eggs, which are thus too greasy, and he takes off at 9:15 and I read mail and talk to Arnie until 10:25, when I do an hour of lightwork until 11:25, and THEN talk to Arnie until 12:15, and can't get started on the day, but finally get to marking the rest of the pages to 173 from 12:50 to 2:30, then type 437 cards from 2:45-4:05, talking to Avi, too, and then marking to page 250, but I just CAN'T do any more on that today, so I stop at 5 and have yogurt and finish reading "Deltoid Pumpkin Seed" by MacPhee, not bad, but not super, and think to take a shower, but I have to type these two pages first, finishing at 6:25, too late! Pile up stuff to take for tomorrow and Sunday, then decide that I MUST take a shower, and phone Dana at 6:50 to say I'll be there about 8, and I subway up with a half-gallon Rhinegarden that breaks the strap on the neat Renaissance bag, getting there at 8:10, Dennis arrived on time, and there's onion dip with two kinds of chips, then a good salad with mustard dressing and a FABULOUS chicken with tarragon sauce, and I copy out a recipe for sour-cream pancakes but I guess I leave it there. His zucchini-squash hot vegetables are great, too, and I don't remember any dessert. We'd drunk lots before eating, killed the wine with my dinner, took the rest of the chips with us, and Dennis started nodding with fatigue, so we left about 12 and got to his place about 12:30, finding all the shops closed for chicken until tomorrow, and to his place to fall right into bed, setting the alarm at 6:30 since he thinks he needs so much time to get ready in the morning, and we're feeling quite drunk from the vodkas before dinner, the wine with dinner, and the anisette afterwards, and the air conditioner is running because it's been hot all day today and promised to be VERY hot the next day for our trip.

DIARY 13216

SATURDAY, JULY 22. Wake, feeling pretty awful, and I try to cheer him up but I feel lousy, too, reading New Yorker while he makes soft-boiled eggs for breakfast, only 2, and has some beet-halva before I say we should go at 9, around the corner to buy a chicken cut up for $2.88, and down to the subway to find one coming in, so I give him a token and $1 for my chicken, and we're down to 42nd at 9:15 and walk across with blacks and PRs to the boat about 9:30, hot already, and Linda says that we're gathering upstairs, so we go up and form a second circle outside the inner circle, and lots of people are in shorts, and some humpy numbers are nice to look at, but mostly it's pretty awful with slobs eating all the time and playing loud radios. We leave at 10:20, cruising up the hazy-in-the-heat Hudson until 12:30, getting pretty hot, and Dennis reads the Times to try not to be grumpy and we chat with Maureen and Dorothy, I have a beer that tastes good, and we wait a long time to get off the boat through two tiny gangways and get in the crowds walking up the walk (glad we didn't wait for the bus, which took an hour to get there after being loaded), and I take off along a stream and find patches of ripening raspberries that taste good, though Dennis is reluctant to eat the ones he says aren't ripe. Through the woods to the swimming pool and get onto the lake to find Faye and Sheldon Levey, so we walk with them to the group, and under the trees away from the rabble, the place isn't so bad at all (see DIARY 13217). Have some chicken, drink Maureen's coolish Reunité, good, for Malcolm's departure, sign Rebekah's card with a silver keychain whose presentation I miss, swim, cooling off a LOT, until the attendant chases us out, then wander the zoo and exhibition area, rather nice, and back to return to the boat, sitting on cool lower decks talking to Tony for the trip back from 4:40-6:45, and we almost have a battle getting off, across 42nd to subway at 7:20, but Dennis doesn't want to come over, so I get downstairs JUST in time to catch an express and get home at 7:45, in time to take a shower and watch "The Royal Ballet" on TV 8-10:20 (see DIARY 13220), at which time "Anna Christie" has started, but I don't feel like watching, start to read "The Godmaker," which is pretty good, but at 11:30 I'm exhausted, so I just go to sleep, not even doing lightwork, brushing my teeth, or putting on lotion.

DIARY 13222

SUNDAY, JULY 23. Wake about 8 and do lightwork until about 9 (no, not true, since I had to do it TONIGHT!!) up to read more of "The Godmakers" and then watch sexy David Summers and VERY funny Julie Kurnitz presented by Howard Thompson on Camera Three, and Dennis is talking with his folks and missed them. He apologized for being hard on me, I finished "The Godmakers" and typed two pages with thoughts from the middle (see DIARY 13218-13219) for the only two of the day, and then went right into reading the entire book of Helen Bevington entitled "The House Was Quiet and the World Was Calm," taking notes that I transcribe (see DIARY 13221), and I'd gone out for the Times at 1:30 and read all through it, taking time out to watch a jowly Lars-Eric Lindblad fluffing his way through a dreadful film about the Nile between Cairo and Aswan, and finish both puzzles with the aid of both versions of EB, taking between about 3 and 5, and then finish the Bevington just about the time Dennis calls about 8 to say that he wouldn't mind coming over for dinner tonight. Mom had called yesterday so I tried phoning her at 1:15, as she suggested, and again at 8:15, but she didn't answer. Tried calling Avi to say I didn't want to go to the Carnegie Hall Cinema, either, but he wasn't even home. Had jerked off with porno during the day, so I put everything back into the closet, put away all the mail, then washed dishes, finished just as he entered at 9:45. I'm not really feeling hungry, had hamburger at 2 and brushed my teeth, but I make frozen daiquiris with crème de menthe to color but the whole THING tastes of mint, and heat the tongue and warm the hoisin sauce, not bad, with raisins, and cook carrots and have applesauce, and that's over about 11, so Dennis smokes, I put on Mystic Moods, and we get into cock for him to come during the first encore of the finale and I beat away at my soft thing to come just at the end of the THIRD encore, right on time, and then wipe things off and get into bed about 12, staying awake until about 1 for doing the first session with the Sensory Mental lifebelt with the Subtle Warrior, feeling good about it, and the light air conditioning feels mandatory even in the morning, when the rest of the apartment is HOT.

DIARY 13223

MONDAY, JULY 24. Alarm goes at 7 and Dennis is up at 7:30, and I'm up to put the dishes away so he can get to the coffeepot parts I washed last night, and then broil bacon, fry eggs that mostly break, and eat being stared at by him, saying nothing, which makes me VERY annoyed, which he probably senses and stares at me the more. I get back to marking the last pages of the Conditioning index from 8:55-10, going well with 65 minutes for 93 pages, then type 276 cards from 10-10:25, edit from 11:05-11:30, then stop to put on hamburger for dinner and shower, out at 1:50 to have a LOT of drilling done on drilled tooth and he puts in "a pound and a half" of silver and hopes it stays, and I sure do too! Sore gums later, and I deposit two checks from Springer-Verlag, one of them not even SIGNED, so I hope it doesn't bounce; find nothing at JOYI, buy 1000 sheets of typing bond and find I NEED it, though I hadn't remembered, 8 bars of soap, and a box of 500 long envelopes. Then get more bacon and hamburger, then groceries, and lug everything home about 3 to a full mailbox, and look through that and then phone Sophia, who is delighted when I say I'll have the Anesthetic index by Monday; Latham, who says NEXT week will see the last of the indexing, so I tell Dennis about that; then finish the editing from 4:15-6:10, editing 713 cards down to 642, then type 37 pages for 920 lines from 6:10-8:20, proofread until 9:05, and finish with everything by 9:25, putting things away, delighted to have it done, figuring it's too late to phone Bob Dukes for a body-session as I'd fantasized doing (maybe tomorrow?) and I still have to test out the mattress and kitchen table. Then type these 6 pages to catch up to date by 10:57, just in time to phone Mom and talk about her trip, and got an AWFUL letter from Helen! Phone her and talk for about 20 minutes about how she's going to like her trip and how she wants me to come see her new furniture and how old she's getting at 67. I mention the St. Mary's reunion in October, and think that I might be flying back and forth to Mexico with Larry then, so maybe I WILL be there. Do lightwork from 11:25-12:15, fairly effectively, and drink lots of water and get into bed without having had dinner, and toss a bit before sleeping.

DIARY 13224

TUESDAY, JULY 25. Wake at 5:30 to piss through an erection, then get up at 8 to phone Dennis and suggest meeting for lunch, which he agrees. Mark 69 pages in the Anesthetic book from 8:05-9:35, then phone Margaret with the estimate of $400, Rhodie calls with data about the Anthropology book that Dennis is doing, and I phone Barbara, who has ANOTHER book for me to do. Phone Apollo about more index-strip cards and get this page done by 10:15, GOOD day! Type 251 cards from the first 51 pages (taking 15 minutes out talking to Bruce, who always seems to call when he's busy working) to 11:15, and then dress, taking Binaca, and get out to find Ron Miller on Clark looking at apartments, introducing me to "Jay" though his lover's name was Bill Simon back then. He's been living in Manhattan and flying as a purser with TWA. I take off at 11:30 and make it to Barbara Bullied just about 12, give the index to her, and she says my new one isn't ready yet, but she'll mail it. Over to Joan Ann, who's moved desks, and show her Jean-Jacques' "Journal du Voyage" and she wants to sell it as a children's book and take 10% commission as an agent, and THAT gets me to think about MY stuff being sold by her. Xerox two copies of JJ's thing, one for me and one for her, and lots of other things for Bill: Actualism folder and Gurdjieff stuff, and get out at 12:50 to walk over to 65 Irving Place at 1 to meet Dennis for a pleasant lunch in a pleasant place for $9.25 for greasy tasty veal for me, chicken breast for him, good, GREAT dill salad dressing, and glasses of wine sharing a half-carafe, and he makes me read his revision of "Inkwells," which I get miffed about. Out at 2:15 and over to Barnes and Noble to buy two Smart books, one at half-price, with address for third, and up to buy 10 boxes of cards for $59.40 from Apollo since they only have one carton, and they're lighter coming home; little mail, and I get back to typing 100 cards from 4:30-4:55, mark pages 70-140 to 5:55, type 341 to 6:45, and mark 65 pages to 7:45, going well, typing 290 to 8:30, marking 69 pages to 9:40, type last 332 cards for 1314 in all till 10:40 with 10 minutes out for Bruce, sort cards from 10:40-11:10 while cooking hamburger, which I eat while reading New York Magazine, then edit 1/2 from 11:50-1:35, feeling tired, and crawl into bed brushing and reaming teeth, trying to do lightwork, but fall directly asleep.

DIARY 13225

WEDNESDAY, JULY 26. Wake at 9 to shit with magazine, then back to finish editing from 9:20-11:30, pleasant enough not to use air conditioning, and then type 36 pages from 11:35 to 1:50, when I'm hungry enough to put on hamburger to eat, exercise for first time in 10 days, then finish 21 pages for 57 in all from 2:45-4, proofing to 5:20 and finishing up by 5:50, getting everything away and typing this page by 6, and Bruce called, saying that George Pierson and Bob Dukes are going with him to "Revenge of the Pink Panther" at the Ziegfield this evening at 8, so I phone Dennis and he says he has no money, but no other plans, so he agrees to meet us and it should be interesting, and phone Art, who's going to be in the Poconos for 2 weeks and invites us to his cabin, and in East Rochester for a week, and then take a shower at 6:30 to get ready to go. They're inside already at 8, and Dennis and I push into the front of the line while Drew gets $2.50 popcorn, and sit in the order: Mike (who worked for CREEP!) (Dennis thinks he's sexy, and he may be gay, but his eyebrows look plucked), George, Bruce, Drew, Dennis, and me. "Revenge of the Pink Panther" is full of slapstick, falling into cement piles, fertilizer, graves, shops, Hong Kong harbors; setting off fireworks, alarms, insanity; shouting and stand-ins and little of Seller's quiet tasteful humor, and lots of noise and hoopla for nothing---but the Berlioz "Requiem" Tuba Mirum for "The Lord of the Rings" trailer was super. Out at 10:30 and they want to go to a deli, but I coax them into Angelo's for pizza, and even though Drew only has a soda, we 4 kill a large and a small, and 3 slices don't seem too little for me, and it's fresh-vegetably but not very crusty as before. Drew monopolizes the conversation, mainly to me, leading Bruce to say I've been "loving," and Bruce thinks the gathering of Actualism students is a breakthrough and a turnaround, and George and Bruce leave themselves open as butts of humor, Dennis listen and gets impatient with too much Actualism talk, and we go on about est for more time. Leave at 12, happy with 2 glasses of wine, and bus to his place to probably not have sex and fall into bed feeling good about the evening, since I paid for the whole thing with $20 and loaned Dennis $4 for the movie, and Drew HAD to plunk down a $5 for a tip, maybe to show up MY generosity. She'll come to my Actualism party if I invite her, too.

DIARY 13230

THURSDAY, JULY 27. Wake at 7, feeling poor, and SOMETIME we have sex, maybe both morning and evening, since I recall HAVING to shower for Susan or else I'd smell of semen, and have eggs and some more beet halva and get to Brooklyn at 9:45 to get off at Clark and walk to the post office anyway to find two more letters for JOYI and buy four sheets of stamps before I open my wallet to find I'd SPENT all the money, and the clerk was annoyed with me for standing too close before and he probably HATES me now! Slink home at 10:15, shower quickly after getting out the kitchen table and finding that the hideabed mattress fits it VERY nicely, and get sheets and a small towel for the face, and then Susan Lieber calls at 11 to ask if I want take-out coffee and she brings over a bag of plums, peaches, and nectarines that I put into the fridge and sit around for a long time talking about how odd it was that she started this thing, but that it must have been fated to happen, and later she tells me I remind her of someone she had something going with a number of years ago, and things kept on coming up to clear away from that, and she said it was fabulous session (see DIARY 13231). I feel exhaustedly stoned form it, and at 11:30 Mrs. Johnson and the plasterer had come in to see what the bathroom looked like, she asked what the bed was, and when I said "for massages" she giggled, then later said they were important, and she phoned during the session when I had the phone on the machine, and then after Susan left, about 2 pm, I went down and we had a nice talk about how massaging can lead to self-healing, and she talks of the "electricity" that they used to use in the old country, and she smiles "I'm not as dumb as I look," and she IS nice to talk to, and I take back sheet with phone number to order screens for two windows from the window company. Back up and the plasterer comes about 3-6, so I take notes to make body sessions easier, trying to reconstruct what the instructions were for the hip, and then read more of "Along Came the Witch" to pass the time until he leaves, leaving the place in a MESS. I then decide to type up Jean-Jacques' book, doing it nicely in a number of hours, try calling Bob Dukes for a session at 8 but he doesn't answer, and then cook hamburger for eating while watching "Claudine," pretty good about garbage-man James Earl Jones finally being convinced by Diahann Carroll's 6 kids to marry her, regardless. Also wrote notes to Elaine and the Griswold's, and get to bed running porno films till 12:20, coming very nicely to Stan, then continue reading till 2:15, not ready for sleep yet.

DIARY 13232

FRIDAY, JULY 28. Up with less than 7 hours sleep and start on an INCREDIBLE lightwork session (9:15-10:15) that leads me directly to all the activities listed on the page of EFFERVESCENCE (see DIARY 13226), partly from the bodywork yesterday, I'm sure, and finish with that page about 12:15 after all the activity, then have lunch of hamburger, and then type a page on the "Golden Computer" analogy for Actualism (see DIARY 13227), but it doesn't go very well, and I get into the bathroom and feel that I HAVE to clean up some of the stuff for Dennis coming over this weekend, so I put on Berlioz' "Requiem" and listen to that while washing dishes and cleaning out the garbage pail (having taken down the garbage in bare feet and gotten the bottoms of my feet VERY dirty, and the mailman comes VERY late, about 2:30), and then start washing off the items in the bathroom preparatory to scrubbing it down, but then get into the kitchen and start cleaning out the paper bags, and uproot all kinds of nests of roaches, and it gets very messy and I start cleaning out the corner with a bucket of Spic and Span and decide that I have to wash the WALLS before the painter comes, since they're so greasy the new paint will be awful if I don't. So I start washing up the whole wall behind the stove, dreadfully dirty, and below the green stand was a real mess, and I wipe that up, shredding a sponge on the round tiles that I'm glad I covered in the bathroom with the carpet, which is now perfectly dreadful from all the fallen plaster in the place from the plastering, and then scrub the floor (surprised not to find the little screen for the bathroom window yet!) in the kitchen about 5, and then take a VERY quick shower and dash off to just get to D'Angelo's at 6:10, about 10 minutes before Dennis arrives, and the veal in his dish is good (veal D'Angelo for $8.50 with lovely taste from olives and cheese and booze), and get at least $7.75 back, but zabaglione is expensive at $3 and Dennis doesn't like it. Wine makes us sleepy for walk up Broadway to Met for Nureyev's "Romeo and Juliet," which we don't care for (see DIARY 13233), and it goes until 11:20 and get to my place at 12, buying half-and-half, and he's into his cock and comes and I start lightwork but don't get ANYWHERE before I fall asleep about 1 am, still LOTS of things to do.

DIARY 13227
7/28/78

GOLDEN COMPUTER ANALOGY FOR ACTUALISM

P: Tell us about the "golden computer."

I: I thought of it as a good way of telling readers about the aims of the School of Actualism. In Ralph Metzner's chapter about it in "Maps of Consciousness," we're told that "Actualism is a teaching that enables the student to experience the evolutionary processes and purposes of man." Russell Paul Schofield, the founder of the School of Actualism, says in "Basic Principles of Actualism" that "Actualism teaches Personality-Self how to contact---or tune in to---and experience the fact of the power and Presence of his individual Immortal God-Nature within." The current brochure on Actualism, the Way of Enlightened Consciousness, states that Actualism is "a teaching that trains the student to experience and actualize his untapped potentials for creative self-expression and joyful effortless communication with all forms of life in his world." So we have "evolutionary" "God-Nature" and "communication" at the heart of three points of view at the unified teaching of Actualism.

P: But you haven't said anything about the "golden computer."

I: The student is the "golden computer." Actualism trains the student how to experience the circuitry, how to rewire it, and how to use the rewired "golden computer."

P: Why is it called "golden"?

I: A computer runs on electricity. A human body is controlled in many ways: some are scientifically rather clear: the nervous system receives input, the system of arteries and veins nourishes and maintains it, various organs perform various maintenance tasks, the muscular system performs various motor functions. Some of these controls are voluntary, like the muscles or even the brain when a person chooses to address a certain problem. Others are ordinarily involuntary, such as the operations of the heart and other organs, though eastern science is beginning to teach western science that these can come under the control of a highly trained will. Other systems operate without clear scientifically investigated understanding of their mechanisms. We can consider these not-yet-understood-by-science facilities to be the results of operations by unknown forces that

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P: How does this connect with Actualism?

I: It functions as a good analogy for the processing done in Actualism. As with any esoteric system of knowledge, Actualism's basic teachings are secret. This is so for a number of reasons. First, as with any system of knowledge, Actualism is carefully planned from a basic level through more advanced levels, each of which requires the knowledge and practice of the level before. Information given out of turn would be worse than useless. Even the beginning information cannot be correctly transmitted because the beginner has no idea, at first, of the specific uses of words that are explained only later in the lessons.

DIARY 13234

SATURDAY, JULY 29. I wake about 8, then at 8:30 do detailed lightwork until 9:30, and wake Dennis up about 9:50, and he's hard and playing with himself so we have good shooting sex before we get up about 10:30, when Paul calls to say we can come to his place about 8 this evening, but not for dinner, and I get back to typing two pages for the Actualism article, but it still doesn't get anywhere (see DIARY 13228-13229), and I broil the last of the awful bacon and scramble eggs for breakfast and then he gets to work on the Anthropology index while I talk to Don about places for him to go this evening, and eventually ask him over to Paul's. I'd wanted to get the place cleaned for Bruce's session, but it's obviously not working, and all I can do is shower before he comes over about 2:30, Dennis goes into the bedroom to be away from our talking, which we do a lot of, and then I do his body from about 3:30-4:40 (see DIARY 13235), quite a bit harder than his sister's, and he sits around until 5:30 because he's not meeting someone for dinner until 6, and I'm feeling sort of drained from the session. I make spaghetti with good sauce with the last of the meat and have stringy spinach with it, drinking two kir cocktails that liven our walk over to Paul's by 8:30, buying two half-gallons of cold white wine, and getting to his place to tour the torn-apart top two floors, enjoy the wine on his back deck, greet Don and a sexy Gary at 10:30 when they arrive, and I have too much wine, play delightedly with the cat in heat, talk of indexing and the theater and apartment-living with the five of us, and in the car coming back I'm so sozzled I can hear my tongue misbehaving as Paul leads the way to the Strap for the three of them at 12, and we swing down Pierrepont in the cool evening and Dennis smokes quickly and we get into a VERY hot session for him, though I don't feel very into it, and we get to bed about 1 am, having bought the Times while Dennis comes home, and I wish there were some way I could have foreseen the misery of the hangover tomorrow, and I wouldn't have drunk so much tonight, maybe in reaction to the NICE way things were going with the bodywork, or jealous that Don has the sexy Gary, or something else.

DIARY 13236

SUNDAY, JULY 30. Wake at 9:30 with Dennis playing with himself, very hard, and I'm hard too so we have a nice session, but when I get up to dry myself off the nausea of a hangover hits me again, and he makes himself tongue as I lay in misery until 11, when I drag myself up for the mediocre "Pins and Needles" on Camera Three, then back to bed while he works, then about 3 he asks if he can make me tea, and when I'm having that he mentions Wheatena and I react positively, and that lets me take pills and vitamin C and some aspirin, which makes me feel so good that at 4 I get up and sit and read through the Times, not getting worse doing it, and then work the puzzle and decide that things have progressed to the point where I can stay up. Then finish reading "Along Came the Witch" (see DIARY 13237) and get right into Bevington's next book. But don't feel like typing, even when the diary's so far behind that I'm beginning to feel panicky about it, and don't feel like cleaning at ALL. Paul calls about dinner together out tonight, but Dennis wants to finish alphabetizing at least, and I decide I'd rather stay in, so I make tuna casserole, which isn't bad, and we eat about 6:30 and he finishes alphabetizing and starts on typing as I continue reading, and then at 10:30 turn on "Monty Python" and watch it even though I'd seen it before, and then keep it on for "Merc" on "Independent Focus," which is a strange thing since he seems to be a BUM, but then he's announced to BE an actor's name, so it's hard to know who's doing what to whom. Then there's a black guy that I take a shower during, and Dennis decides he's finished at 11:30, and he gets into smoking, pouring ashes all over the sheets, and I still feel pretty awful, feeling hemmed in by having him here, wondering what it IS that I want from him in the line of sex, but he gets into his cock and I finally get into the verbal and he comes nicely, but I won't take the popper because I have a headache, and I thought I'd left it at Paul's but find it today, having had it stink up the shoulder bag overnight, and I hope that I feel somewhat better tomorrow, but I haven't thought of my dentist's appointment for quite awhile, and I'm not checking the calendar at all, and feel VERY depressed because I wasted a good part of today with a hangover.

DIARY 13238

MONDAY, JULY 31. Alarm at 7 lets Dennis sleep to 7:45, and I get out at 8 to find Clark out of half-and-half, check the mail to find no JOYI stuff, though I suddenly think that Steell has MY address to say it's OK to use his address, get 63 stuff at Montague, back at 8:20 to fry onions and come up with a GOOD omelet with last of tasteless melon, and he's out at 9:15 with my index, and I do dishes again, phone Sophia at 9:45 to say it's coming to her, and then don't feel like doing anything other than finishing reading "Beautiful Lofty People" by Helen Bevington (see DIARY 13239), and now it's time to write a letter to Don O'Shea to add to my list of things to do. Watch TV (see DIARY 13243) and remember 2 pm dentist at 3:30! Phone for new appointment! Still don't feel like indexing or cleaning up the place, so I decide to finish reading "Tibet's Great Yogi Milarepa" after doing lightwork 3:40-4:40 and getting a DC call from Paul (see DIARY 13240) by about 5:30, and Dennis calls to say he DOESN'T want to work tonight, and DOES want to go to a restaurant for his birthday, so I phone to find Le Cygne closed for the summer, then get out to the bank to withdraw $250 (since I have about $4 cash) and phone for 9:30 for the Box Tree, and then made fudge which STILL turned out too hard, though I just heated it to 230 on my nonworking thermometer, licking it out with my finger for hours as I read more in "Serpent Power," talking about the spinal channel just as I'm WORKING on it in BODYWORK! Then at 8 decide I MUST shower, so I wash my hair and dress in my brown pants, blue-new shirt open and collar over the navy jacket, and get out at 8:40 to request a candle for Dennis's cake at 9:30, and he's sitting around the corner waiting, maybe having heard. The décor is pleasant, but the food somewhat lacks (see DIARY 13241), and we get out at 11:50 with Dennis feeling like maybe not seeing Dorothy Donegan, but we're up to Weston's at 131 E. 54th through The Market, still going slowly at 12, and she's VERY talented with her fingers, changes from tacky silver sequins to a VERY tasteful flowered gown for more numbers, Weston whispers and Jackie Arthur sings two rather similar numbers with a sweeping high-crooning jazz-voice, and we pay $18 with tip for $10 cover and two $2.75 drinks for $15.50 + $1.25 tax = $16.75 + $1.25 tip, so it's an $85 + 18 = $103 night, and Dennis treats himself to taxi home. I walk at 2:30 down to Times Square and read book and get subway at 3:15 home, plopping into bed turning off the phone and putting in earplugs for first in LONG time.

DIARY 13242

TUESDAY, AUGUST 1. Wake about 10:30 and shit, feeling not at PEAK, but glad I don't have a hangover from LAST night, and Margaret calls from ACC with an index that's rushed, so I AGAIN have 5 companies: Latham and Harper for Dennis; ACC, Raven, Springer for me. Take a piece of fudge and don't really care for the sour-cream taste, decide I MUST get to the diary, putting on socks and underwear since it's chilly enough to warrant, try phoning Rolf but he's not home, type all sorts of notes from books, and though I'd hoped to finish typing at 12 and do cleaning before Susan arrives at 3, I find that I've typed 13 pages at 1:55, barely enough time to get ANYTHING ready. Then remember the Mbuti pygmies' program yesterday and type 14th (see DIARY 13243), at 2:05 pm. Put things away and at least clean up the GROSS dirt by 2:45, having had two soft-boiled eggs and muffins to have at least SOMETHING for breakfast or lunch or brunch, and she's not here by 3:15 so I settle in to do some other things and she arrives at 3:20, bringing rotting fruit and apologizing for it, but we sit and have lots of it anyway, and we talk more and she starts on me about 4:15 and doesn't finish until 5:45 (see DIARY 13244), when she has to rush out for her acupuncture appointment on 23rd Street. Dennis had phoned but when I got back to him at 5:45 he'd left already, and he's not home. Phone Rolf and tell him about Box Tree, and he's about to go to the airport to pick up someone, and I vacuum the bathroom rug, both sections of it, tell Paul Bosten that I don't want tickets to "Ain't Misbehavin" for $15, and certainly not while Nell Carter is out of it, and dust and vacuum until 8:30, finishing everything but the bedroom at last, then take the hamburger out of the broiler and eat it avidly during re-seeing "The Russians Are Coming, The Russians Are Coming," and I'd forgotten the marvelous final scenes where the sub-men and townsmen make a human pyramid to rescue the kid who fell out of the church steeple and then the boats escort the sub out to sea, and beautiful John Phillip Law falls in love with Andrea Dromm for a beautiful couple, but Carl Reiner and Eva Marie Saint are too hysterical for words. This goes on until 11, then I do lightwork from 11:10 to 11:35, feeling good about it, then sort out the porno into proper envelopes and keep the mailing information separate and finally get to sleep after good come (after 5 large pre-cum drops and lots of chewy kernels) by 1:15, setting alarm at 9:15 to be sure.

DIARY 13247

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 2. Wake about 8:30 and debate doing lightwork, but fall back to sleep and have an INCREDIBLE dream about Mr. Ball (see DIARY 13246) which is very distinct in my mind when the alarm rings at 9:15, and I'm up to finish dusting and vacuuming the bedroom and putting things away and taking a shower, and I'm JUST dressing at 9:58 when Amy buzzes downstairs and comes up and starts talking until about 11, and I start on her at 11:05 (see DIARY 13245) and finish just at noon, listening to the bells as I time her final 10 minutes, and she gets up and says she has to leave quickly, so I kiss her out the door, put things away, feel very hungry and put on hamburger at once, go down for the mail, get so caught up in the est review that I phone away for DOING the review of the training on September 2-3, phoning Bruce to tell him about it and the secretary knows my name because "you call EVERY day," and I protest, "only every OTHER day!" Dennis phoned last night to say he was sleepy and was taking the 8 am cab to the shuttle to Time-Life today, might call me this evening, and I have lunch reading the est mail, then decide I HAVE to get some of the JOYI stuff done, since I FINALLY got the letter from Ted Steell liking my referring to him, so I use the REST of my stamps and put on about 200 mailing labels, easier when they're all torn at first, and JOYI return-label the rest of 240 envelopes, and pile them outside to mail tomorrow, buying stamps, when I go to the dentist at 2:30, and it's 3:30 so I sit to proofread JJ's work, putting it out for xeroxing when I return the Springer index, and get out the Cardiac Arrhythmias which I might as well finish by Friday, and type 3 pages by 4:45, pretty good. Then mark pages 1-106 from 4:45-6:40, take a water-piss break, then type 279 cards from 6:50-7:40, mark 44 pages from 7:40-8:30, when Dennis calls to say he'll be over, so I put the sour-cream chicken on, and mark more pages until 9:25, when he comes in, and we drink champagne (Cep de Vin) and talk about his day in Alexandria and about my day, and have the chicken and corn, and then at 11 he's very tired, so we listen to music and talk and lie in bed, and he falls asleep at 11:50 and I do lightwork until 12:20, then shut off the lights and we fall instantly to sleep.

DIARY 13248

THURSDAY, AUGUST 3. Wake at 8:30 and Dennis is up about then, and we get out of bed and I type 134 cards from 8:45-9:15, then make sour-cream pancakes which we eat, with bacon, pretty good, and then I type 2 pages by 10:25. He gets down to typing and I wash dishes, then get to marking 167-266 to 12:40, then answer some of his questions, get him out to his singing lesson at 1, annoyed that he didn't bring his keys with him so he has to go home to get them, and type to 1:15, when I shower, then 15 more minutes, Paul calls and I reserve for Windows on the World tomorrow, then get out to the dentist's right at 2:30, and he takes me right in and drills the upper left canine without any injections at all, and it goes right well, and he puts in a porcelain filling to take the place of the silver that's "staining" the tooth, and get out to be charged $10, and NOTHING for the previous two visits. "You'll have to talk to the doctor," "Well, I don't WANT to, but I guess I will," and he says he'll look into it. Across to the PO to find nothing from JOYI, so it DOES seems to be over, buy stamps but they don't have the new 2 OR the dance. Mail Bill's xeroxes from the Actualism book and the VV Gurdjieff stuff, and 59 JOYI mailings for the second series. Back to pick up the mail and read it, then get back to marking 267-348 from 3:40-5:45, type 194 cards from 5:05-5:45, mark the rest from 5:45-7, at which time Dennis has demanded "lunch," so I heated up the rest of the chicken for him and the rest of the hamburger for me, which we then eat, he getting in up to his elbows, and I type 184 cards from 7:20-7:50, for a total of 1027, not bad for 430 pages, and watch "Tut, the Boy King" with Orson Welles and such glosses as "lovers called each other brother and sister in love poetry," without saying they probably WERE brother and sister, and then sort and edit straight through from 8:50-12:50, taking about half an hour out to cajole and coax and sympathize with Dennis, and then put on the tongue to heat and have toasted tongue sandwiches with mustard and rosé and gherkins and get exhausted into bed at 1:30, doing some lightwork but conking out about the pancreas, not able to finish, having set the alarm at 8, hoping to get through BOTH indexes by tomorrow afternoon!

DIARY 13249

FRIDAY, AUGUST 4. I wake at 7, put the air conditioner on at 7:30 to dehumidify the room, do lightwork until 7:50, when I'm up to start breakfast and change the mattress to a pad. Toast the rest of the pancakes and have eggs just as Paul calls at 8:30, then finish eating quickly and shower and get this page typed, ready to start the index typing LATE at 9:15 am, pity. Type pages 1-21 from 9:15-10:25, and then ask Dennis about meeting Amy, and do some things and she buzzes just at 10:32 and smiles at Dennis, who thinks she's pretty, and I mention that I'm rushing for an index, so she says she'll work fast, and she takes somewhat more time on the table than I'd estimated (see DIARY 13250). I expected the bells to chime, but when I get up it's 12:10 and they haven't rung, and she leaves about 12:25 and I move a grumbling Dennis back to the kitchen to proofread since he has more than a few pages left to do. I finish typing pages 22-54 from 12:30-2:30, for an average of 16.5 per hour, and then when he says he's not particularly hungry, I proofread and finish up things at 2:30-3:40, Joan calls to say she's on TV at 5:30 and on Wednesday at 7, the "second act" of "Posters(?)," having phoned Rodie and found she'll be there until 5, but she'll accept the index gladly at 9:30 on Monday morning, and is looking forward to meeting me, though Dennis will deliver it. Phone Terry and she says the xerox is working and it'll be fine if I bring in the index today, but Monday's good. It's raining a bit, so I take an umbrella and the JOYI sheet to be xeroxed and leave about 3:50 and get there about 4:15, talking gaily with Laura and a book on eating that Dennis would be perfect for, and how people can edit AND index without knowing what they're reading. Get 160 of the plain page three's for JOYI done almost at once, but then lots of people interrupt me doing the one with J/O buddies on it, and I'm finished at 5, out in drizzle to get back home at 5:30 and change clothes and wash face and dash out to meet Paul and Sol and Isao at Windows on the World at 6:05 for a mediocre meal (see DIARY 13251), and we're out at 9:10 and they don't want to come here, so we walk up to Municipal Building, past St. Paul's, say goodbye to Sol back to Jersey, to City Hall and map that says to go THROUGH Municipal Building, to a park I'd not seen before, down a side street to Park Row and up to Chinatown, which Isao walks quickly through because of "competition and jealousy" and to Canal, over one to Mulberry and through a flourishing Little Italy, then over to the Bowery, pass Public Theater, to Washington Square Park and street entertainers, then talk to Claude Underwood as they sit in Sheridan Square Park, then down to River, but they're tired, pass bars on West, find Mineshaft but they're too dressed, then into subway at 12, home exhausted, I shower, he slaps cock (see DIARY 13257), we cuddle & sleep.

DIARY 13252

SATURDAY, AUGUST 5. Wake about 8:30 with a strange dream of a handless woman teacher (see DIARY 13254) that I jot down, then make a NEW list of 14 things that I want to do today (and end up doing only one of them), and then about 8:45 settle down to a LONG, good lightwork session, finishing about 9:45 when Dennis finally wakes up, and we cuddle and get into a GREAT session that he goes into the kitchen for the popper for, and we both come gobs and feel ready for the day. I put on bacon and make omelets and we eat, and then I get out the index and read through it and he suggests he has 5 alphabetizing errors and he has exactly that. Worked about two hours on it in all, so his commission isn't being generous to me. He proofs the last of the stuff when I do part of it, and then he types a bill for $350 and then Bruce calls about 2, saying that someone cancelled a body session and did I want to do him, and Dennis says he's leaving soon so I tell him to come at 4. Start watching "Wild Kingdom" but it's about animals, not the Channel Islands (one of which is Catalina, about 25 miles offshore) at 2:30, but shut it off, and then busily stamp and stuff envelopes for the JOYI mailings, finding that it's best to stuff FIRST, since the moisture from the stamps or the mailing labels or the return labels wets the FLAP, which perversely is under EVERY ONE of these locations! Bruce enters early at 3:40, so I'm glad I'd showered before that, and he talks a lot about the Full Moon services and then we get started on his body for a MUCH better session than the first (see DIARY 13253). He leaves about 6:30 after too much talk and glancing at spirits in the room, and then Dennis says we'll be eating at his place, and I continue to stuff and type out labels for 39 J/O Buddies mailings, and stamps and lick and cut my tongue but finish 167 pieces of JOYI mail that I pile into a bag and take out to the post office at 8, having phoned Dennis to say I won't be there at 8:30, but he's out, subway to Dennis's, picking up a half-gallon of white wine, Cassis, and the Times, and Paul's there at 9:10, opening HIS red wine that Dennis has as sangria, and his avocado soup is VERY tasty and rich, and his chicken demi-Kiev fabulous, rice good, and Paul says he's too stuffed for the whipped-cream-topped beet halva, and he leaves at 11:30, flaking out with fatigue and wine, and we finish wine and he wants to read the paper, and he does and I start double crostic, easy, and we get into bed about 1 am without his smoking or our having sex, but feeling good about evening.

DIARY 13255

SUNDAY, AUGUST 6. I wake and lie for a long while feeling cramps come into my left calf if I keep my leg up, then look at watch at 8:45 and start on lightwork, doing rather well with it, until he gets up at 10 and I say I'm showering and washing my hair, and come out to find him playing with his cock, saying that the coffee perking turned him on. Then he drinks coffee and I go back to the Times, noticing that "Honor Thy Pasta" is on at 11, so he phones his folks at 10:30, I read some of the sections, then watch the program, then dress and take along the puzzle and TV section and we subway down to Paul's in the Wellington, which I thankfully realize is on 7th, at 12, and look at his rather boring photos of students, schools, south France, and romance-crazy Japanese females. Out in drippy weather down Sixth and into the Promenade Cafe at 12:40 to find the prices up to $7.95, no longer a bargain, and we swat at flies, talk of travels and his returning to DC in 18 months, talk to Dennis's friend, watch tray spilled and broken and waitress slip on it, then out about 2:45 in light rain to take 6th Avenue down, but we CAN'T transfer to 7th as Dennis thought, we have to take #7 train and slowly get to my place about 3:30 so that I can get to the last of the mailing, putting all the new names on cards, sealing the last of the 39 envelopes, cleaning out the living room, the JOYI files (finding two more to fill that I type the next AM), the top drawer, and get LOTS of things done and feel GOOD, and Art calls, I call Dana and Jody and they want Saturday matinee for "Guys and Dolls" and Art agrees. And he's working on the government index for Harper, getting 230 cards from 100 pages which is AWFUL for a 300-page 1707-line index, but it's 650 pages the next day and he's going JUST FINE!! I start dishes at 9 and he says he's hungry (we'd shopped at International where someone shattered a mayonnaise bottle and someone kicked a beer can into my heel, spilly day), so I finish dishes at 9:30 and put on onions for tacos and salty sauce and hot tomato topping and shred lettuce and cheddar and heat tacos and peas and carrots and settle down for a GOOD meal at 10, having sangria since I have no white wine, and we get into bed at 11, I feeling sexless, he getting angry at cock AGAIN, and where before I'd felt SORRY for him (see DIARY 13256), now I feel that I have to TALK to him, and I DO (see DIARY 13257), and it feels GOOD, and he says it might make sense, and we set alarm for 8 at 1:20, and I creep out to watch lightning playing first in front of, and then behind, the St. George Hotel, bed about 1:40, tired.

DIARY 13263

MONDAY, AUGUST 7. Alarm wakes both at 8 after I'd been up earlier but he didn't want to move, and he starts coffee and showers and I put on bacon and fry two eggs and put on peas&carrots to empty fridge for defrosting, and we eat by 9, when he says he's leaving, taking index back whether Rodie's there or not, and he later calls to say he LIKED her, she liked him, he said he helped a lot, as I did, and she thought it was fine, taking HIS number for future indexes too, marveling there was ANOTHER job-lot company Latham/Tree. I typed last two labels and took 41 things out with Dennis, with garbage, and mailed them, picked up a query from WCB, bought wine and sherry, picked up laundry, Mrs. Johnson not home, MOM phones about leaving Saturday and not wanting a cholera shot, I phone Susan and get acupuncture phone number, phone Dorothy Kent at work, she phones back to make date for Monday, I phone Mary and she finds no tour for Art, Dana phones at 12 to say Saturday's fine, I put more stuff away, transfer Saturday's list to do list, getting total of 17, hoping to get down to 10 before retyping it, hopefully TOMORROW, phoned acupuncture guy at 1:30, he says come at 2! I say 2:30, shower, subway to 242 E. 28th on Lex and meet Dr. Hsu for first acupuncture (see DIARY 13261) and meet incredible JJ (see DIARY 13262) who founded clinic in Washington and was visiting on way back from Oregon, GREAT guy! Back, leaving 3:30, at 4, getting call from Don Maloof, phoning Dennis, phoning Lois at Harper and finding Dennis was GREAT with 230 cards from 100 pages from Government book, and call to tell him so, and he's doing singing lesson and laundry tonight, Don wanted me to come over, but I wanted to watch TV, then read mail, finished puzzle, had hamburger for dinner, put things away, finally typed these 12 pages by 8:40, GREAT! Watched "Albert Herring" in a good production on TV from 9-11:30 (see DIARY 13264), but a bit bored with it, then watch Renata Scotto on Cavett, eat fudge during the whole thing, then watch "Dames" from 12-2, making delicious popcorn, getting out Berkeley list of films and finding this is only the 6th of 15 that I see, movie not very good till last 40 minutes, silly plot with Hugh Herbert as a billionaire, then get into bed and get pretty well through Emotional Lifebelt until about 2:30, legs still tingling from acupuncture and sides of ARMS and little FINGERS feeling strange, will have to tell him about that tomorrow.

DIARY 13266

TUESDAY, AUGUST 8. Wake at 8:45 and lay thinking LOTS of things, jotting down quick notes from my dream of convention (see DIARY 13265), and try to do lightwork, but decide to get up at 9:30 and put dishes into kitchen and shower, and Don Maloof calls, saying he's going to country and won't go to play in Poconos, but we'll love it, call Amy who wants body-session on Monday, Joan Ann who's busy this week so maybe Sunday, and I'll have to call Linda and arrange some DIFFERENT schedule for T&R hopefully, since I might have 4 the start of next week. Wash dishes, and Susan calls to say she might be late, which is great, since I have a chance to finish these 3 pages by 11:45. Had spent time reviewing the SEQUENCE of Actualism NSH bodywork, too. She gets in at 11:50 and I tell her about acupuncture and SHE has a meeting there at 3 this afternoon, so we eat 2/3 the 6 pieces of fruit she brought, she has a cup and a half of coffee, and then I get her onto the table about 12:50, finishing about 1:50 (see DIARY 13271), and get her off the table and help her put on her jewelry and dress and get out about 2 to JUST miss the Clark St. train and get to 14th Street and grab a cab across crowded 14th, getting to 242 about 2:45. She wanders off and I go up for another interesting session (see DIARY 13272), and leave about 3:30 to wander stoned back to subway and get to Court Street to deposit a check, pick up more stamps, get three answers from JOYI, a dynamite first to page 3 from Phelps, and find I've gotten the Target film. So I phone Dennis at 4:30 and he says he'll be over tonight, and I say we have to eat out since I'm defrosting the fridge, and I have hamburger for dinner with the last of the peas and carrots and Paul calls and I suggest Hubert's, which has space for 3 at 9, and Dennis and Paul call back more times as I type 4 datebook pages to prepare for the Entertainment List update, and Dennis comes in at 7, vocalizes, and we're out at 8:40 to pick up 1.5 liters white wine and get to Hubert's about 9:05 and have great vegetables ala Grecque, rather bland chicken from 100-year-old recipe, and great creamed fruit compote, and we chat until 11:15, I want to go to their New Orleans dinner but Dennis doesn't, and Paul drives me here to pick up the popper-liquid I forgot to bring him, we come upstairs to chat, I put on the film when he says he "won't be angry" if I do, and falls asleep, and the film is pretty to look at but not very sexy, only one INCREDIBLE shoot. That's over about 1 and I can't rewind, so I try a bit of lightwork, but fall asleep before it's over.

DIARY 13276

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 9. Wake about 6:15 and lay there feeling GOOD, then doze off and wake with dream-notes (see DIARY 13273) about animals, but don't really do a full session since it just feels good to lie there. Dennis is up at the alarm at 8:10, and I'd been horny before, now semi-hard, and I reach over to play and he's ABOUT to say "I have to get up," but he gets hard quickly and he reaches for me, and he hands ME off after trying to come without touching with GREAT stimulation value, and I REALLY writhe with LOTS of come, and then he goes for popper and brings HIMSELF off with great slow gouts of white, and we're feeling marvelous with each other again. He's into the shower about 9 and I make the bed and put dishes away, then get him onto the table about 9:15 and have a good session for him (see DIARY 13274), and he says he could even feel the difference between cc and c-wise spinning, and liked how it made his back feel. I broil bacon and have omelets and orange juice and at 11 find that I can change my 2:30 Dr. Hsu appointment to 3:30, he finishes drying his hair, and leaves at 11:30, dashing BACK to say his plane leaves at NOON, so he calls his travel agent, who gets him on a 2 pm plane, and I tell him I might have Bob Dukes over tomorrow when he gets back, but he can come over if he wants, and he leaves, I shit and shower and get into a couple of diary pages, but leave at 12:20 to get to Actualism at 1:05 for a GREAT NSH T&R with Linda (see DIARY 13275), meeting Lea, pretty, and having Winston tell me to cancel acupuncture, which I do from the phone downstairs, so I subway home by 3 and buy $20+ in groceries and put them away and read the mail (and got a call from Michael this morning with a charter for Art and the news that the Eastern plan IS continuing, even past December) and finish typing these 6 pages by 4:45, lots of spare pages done, 10 pages since YESTERDAY'S page. Want to clear up the DO list, so I type the Entertainment Absorption List pages 34-39 (see DIARY 13277-13282) to get THAT out of the way, then have hamburger for dinner at 6 and fuss around fixing things up, watching Joan on poor Channel 31 (and too-theatrical performance) till 7:30, then leave for a processing-filled class (see DIARY 13283) until 10, subway home, having to get off one hot, crowded subway and wait for another one (though I sit and read on both) until 10:50, and debate looking at movies or sorting scrapbook, but I decide to treat myself to popcorn and reading science fiction by Weinburg and go to sleep at 12:15 without WORRYING about anything, since I DID a class-session this evening already, and it feels GOOD to be able to just go to sleep without DOING something.

DIARY 13284

THURSDAY, AUGUST 10. Wake at 8:15, just 8 hours after sleeping, and lay until 8:45, thinking of all sorts of things, and then get up and decide to file the scrapbook stuff before doing anything else, just to get another item off the list, so I do that from 9-10:30, making a SECOND sheet of filing guides when I already have one, which is a pity, but I keep both, just in case I might find a use for the second set. Then put on the air conditioner to get rid of the humidity, even though the temperature outside is said to be 65, Bruce calls, and finish the Actualism page and these two diary pages by 11:20, fairly late. Debate exercising, but review the acupuncture sheet and find that we're not supposed to doheavy exercising the day of acupuncture, and I suspect my pushups and situps and running-in-place would qualify as heavy exercising, so I don't do it. Mark pages 1-10 from 11:35-11:45, when I have hamburger for something to eat, then mark 11-49 from 12:15-1:15, quite slow, and I'd showered before eating, so I subway off to Dr. Hsu at 2:30, getting there a bit early and having a fairly frustrating session (see DIARY 13285) because I want to STOP it and don't quite know how! He insists on an appointment tomorrow, so I say 5 pm so that I can finish the index on time, and then subway back to pick up three more pieces of mail from the JOYI box and read lots from downstairs, so I don't get back to marking until 4:25, going till 4:35 when Bruce calls again and talks until 5:25, and I mark through page 70 by 5:45, when I water the plants, then type 263 cards from 6-6:45, when I eat and shower again in preparation for Bob Dukes' coming this evening, and mark from 7:50-9:25 pages 71-154, and I guess he's not coming, so I type 322 cards from 9:25-10:20, taking off 10 minutes to talk to Don's Ernie, who wants to talk with me, then mark pages 155 to end at 236 from 10:30-11:05, taking off 5 minutes to talk to Dennis back from Florida and very tired and just wanting to sleep at his place, and then I finish typing 106 cards from 11:05-11:30, and she's tromping around upstairs, constantly, then I end the part that I can do by editing the 691 cards down to 601 cards from 11:30-1:40, now confident that I can finish on time with the x-out tomorrow, and then drink some water and get into bed to do rudimentary lightwork and sleep.

DIARY 13289

FRIDAY, AUGUST 11. Set the alarm for 8:30, less that 7 hours sleep, and wake before that, doing quick lightwork, then getting up to type pages 1-32 from 8:15-10:15, just quickly enough to dash out on the subway and get to the x-out that becomes a track-out (see DIARY 13286-13288) at 11:05 with Alice, paying $35 cash, leaving myself with only $15 for $20-Shu since I forgot to bring checks along. Down at 1 and phone Dennis, but he's at lunch, so I subway down to 23rd Street and leave a note on Joan Ann's desk and proofread the Coronary-Prone Behavior index from 1:30-2:20, taking another 10 minutes to finish it up and hand it in, borrow $5 from Joan Ann while talking about how she KNEW Hsu, when Mrs. Hsu gave her Homeopathy class in her apartment when the original gathering place fell through. Xerox "Journal du Voyage," which Joan Ann chuckles over and says I should sent it to JJ for corrections and clarifications of strange words, and says I can bring some of MY stuff to her if she gives me her body on Sunday, and I go back to my room (having xeroxed the 5-page "ad" from Rick Pollack for reworking) and type 4 diary pages about the previous acupuncture and about the track-out, so I won't fall too far behind over the weekend, and then leave about 4 for Dennis's, getting $60 from him since he'd been to the bank and is paying off some of his debt to me, and then walk slowly across to Dr. Hsu's, getting an egg salad sandwich too soon before the session at 4:30 at Spear's, across the street, and on my almost-empty stomach it tastes DELICIOUS. To Hsu's at 4:50 and she waves for me to come up and HE opens the door, and I ask about the number of sessions, and it turns out that the three first ones WERE OK as a first series, and today starts a SECOND series, but the needles in the FACE are painful and it's NOT a pleasant session (see DIARY 13290). Out at 5:15 and decide not to stop at the post office and get in JUST at 6 to get three messages from Ernie, so I phone him at home and leave a message, and phone Rolf back and his car's been impounded for $675 worth of traffic tickets and he needs cash to bid on it on Tuesday, so he writes me an IOU for 20 "cookies" for $100, then I put the index stuff away from 8:25-8:40 and phone Mom at 9 to say I WON'T be at airport---since I didn't send letter, then take off to Dennis's for dinner, buying two bottles of wine, noticing for the first time, as Rolf reminded me this evening, that all the newspapers have been on strike since about Tuesday. Dinner of eggplant in cream and pecans is simply fabulous, soy-sauce pork chops a bit dry, buttermilk salad dressing a treat, and we're so stuffed and tired at 12:30 we just go to sleep directly.

DIARY 13291

SATURDAY, AUGUST 12. I wake at 7:30 and do a nice body session until 8:30, when we get up, and Dennis starts cleaning up and I shower and start catching up on magazines, then phone Dana and Jody at 9:30, saying that Art had phoned and the women's clubs hadn't returned any tickets yet, but we could stand in the back, and Jody doesn't want to drive 200 miles and then stand. But Dana says "come for breakfast" and we get onto the train and get there at 11 and the dogs are jumping more than ever, being fed at the table, and the Spanish omelet is very good, muffins tasty, tea lemony, and then about 11:45 when I want to call Art for last-minute news, Jody says "Oh, I'll go." So we're out to the car about 11:55 after everyone makes the last trip to the john, and it looks like rain almost every foot of the way along 80, but the conversation is lively enough and everyone's cheery enough, so on the way back even THEY are agreeing they might make the trip again, since it's not so bad. Get lost once in bad signs on 191, but get up to Delwood Motel at 1:40 and get wrong directions and around the circle to Hickory Cabin, and there's fat Thomas Lee Sinclair, the Nicely-Nicely, a smiling Bob, and a debonair Alex that I don't remember until HE reminds me that we met before in Philly at "Irma"! Out to the Playhouse at 2 to a throng of blue-haired ladies in polyester pantsuits and white shoes, and to the box office to find we DO have four seats, and they turn out to be 6th row center for $8.50, which he says "aren't paid for," so I pay, and Art says that was RIGHT, they weren't comps. Thanks. "Guys and Dolls" has two good things: Julius LaRosa's voice and Art Ostrin (and Francis Pultro's body) (see DIARY 13292), and the audience is SO outrageous that we LIKE them rather than being outraged by them. The play's over at 5:30, we're around to watch autograph seekers in the back, and Richard Riskin, the second pianist, shows up in crotchy jeans and high-titted red tee-shirt, and he's now Art's accompanist, which is a great treat! Drive over to Monomonock Inn for a foggy view and a FILLING dinner for only $4.95, with $2.25 for a half-carafe of wine each making things pleasant, and a long drive back through part-rain to Front Porch for awful peach sherbet and they have coffee and chat, and when we're home at 11 we're both so tired AGAIN that we fall into bed and asleep by 11:30, a new early record.

DIARY 13293

SUNDAY, AUGUST 13. I wake at 7:30 and do lightwork thoroughly until 9, when I cuddle him awake and say he should put on the coffee and we'll play, but he puts on the coffee and stays up, so we don't play, and I'd had an erection before that I feared might be used on Ernie this evening. I go through some New Yorkers before he reminds me (in his vacuuming and washing dishes) that I'd asked him to save LAST Sunday's Times that I didn't have a chance to finish, so I go through THAT, as well as a couple of Smithsonians, and clip out some articles, and his folks call at 10:30, they re-do "Façade" on Camera Three, and I have to buy a TV Guide to see what's on TV this week to spite the New York Times. We eat about 12:15, the cream-separated eggplant not being nearly as good, and the browned, avocado-ier soup not so good re-heated either, nor is the corn that I bought yesterday (baker's) dozen for $1.25 so great. He's going to my place to work on the index, I'd phoned Joan Ann who asks me to come over at 1:45, so I leave at 1:20 and get there at 1:50 and she doesn't let me come up until 2, talks until 2:30 (see DIARY 13294) and I give her a session until 3:27, resting until 3:37, and then she looks at my stories, says "Therapy" ends too abruptly, "Tell" starts too intensely and needs an intro, and giggles over the part of "Let Me" that she reads, and takes Alex's name to see if she wants to edit his 250 comedy TV script. Ernie phones at 3:45, I say I'll be over, leave Joan's at 4:25 and get to his place about 5, finding that the long passage between 6th Avenue and 7th Avenue subways is 14th Street, not as Dennis thought 42nd Street, and he DOES just want to talk, so we DO just talk from 5-9:30 (see DIARY 13295), he serving me two goblets of iced white wine, he drinking grape juice and soda, me phoning Dennis to find he'd gotten to my place late, and get to my place at 10:10 to find him starved, so I put on ham, then watch a Monty Python that I hadn't seen more than once before, which he seems to like, drinking kir, and we have more corn and he smokes and I put on Beatles at 11:50 when he asks if I feel like playing and he said he wouldn't have liked it if I'd shot my load with Ernie, and we get nicely into cock, he coming over me and my shooting all over him, then wiping off and getting to sleep about 1, feeling like the weekend had been a VERY full time, and he sets alarm at 7:45, late!

DIARY 13297

MONDAY, AUGUST 14. Wake earlier with dreams that I don't jot down (see DIARY 13296), then the alarm rings and Dennis is playing with himself when I roll over, so we get into jerking off, I come first and he gets my come into a white lather in his foreskin and shoots off with great groans, and then he's put on coffee and gone into the shower and I put on water to boil for corn and scramble some eggs by 8:45, and the orange juice has gone bad for the first time in ages, and he leaves at 9:15, saying he'll be back this evening at 7:30 after Dorothy Kent's off the table. I wash dishes, put some things away, water the plants, then read the Travel section of the Times from last week after phoning Amy and getting her to come at 3:45 rather than 3, since I had Dr. Hsu to see, and I'm typing page 13290 when I realize the appointment is for 3:30, so I phone and change it to 2:30, and I keep looking at the DO list, which is down to 11, hoping to get out the letters that will get it down to 10 so I can retype the do-list at 9, and get started on all these pages at 11:10, doing 9 by 12:50, still fairly slow at 6/hour. Then I get out the books that Don had recommended to me for reading, and write him a one-page letter, then a note to Peter Burgess about "Rainbow," and then it's time to shower in preparation for getting off to Hsu, and Susan called to rave about Actualizations, which she'd just taken, and Bruce called to talk about his track-out, but I said I had to leave. Get to Hsu's and she opened the charred door next door to say he's moved to 24th Street, so I walk down there for my fifth acupuncture session (see DIARY 13299) by 2:40, and get out at 3:15, hurrying back to find everyone's sold out of TV Guides, and at 3:50 Amy's not there, so I phone her and she comes right over, so I don't have time to read the 9 letters from JOYI box. She positively says the session is totally perfect (see DIARY 13300), and she leaves at 5:15 and Dorothy Kent rings the bell at 5:25, and SHE'S a new person on my list (see DIARY 13301), leaving at 7:25, and then I fix up the bed and get to the first page of the letter to Helen when Dennis comes in at 8:15, not hungry, but I'm starved (drank a lot of D-cell water today), and so we have corn and wine and ham with Claiborne's cream sauce until about 9:45, and I put on the opera "Transformations," but it looks boring, so while he's indexing the government book at a fairly slow rate, I go through and bring the JOYI files up to date, ready for typing, and he stops at 11:30, we chat, he smokes on a plate at 12, we have sex in which he comes hugely and I don't, and he sets alarm and we get to sleep about 1 am.

DIARY 13302

TUESDAY, AUGUST 15. Alarm at 7:15 remembering dream (see DIARY 13298) and he's reluctantly up, hard, to shower, saying he feels VERY tired, and I get up at 7:35 to put dishes away and boil water for corn, decide on french toast for breakfast to get away from ham in the evening and eggs in the morning, and we finish eating by 8:30, he reading Soho while drinking coffee, me washing dishes AGAIN to be in the room with him wondering if he doesn't answer questions so that people won't find out about him. He'd helped me last night with the second page of the letter to Helen, good suggestions, and left about 9, saying he'd be back about 6:30 to work more on the index, so I have to get groceries again, and pick off dead leaves and start typing at 9:15, finishing 5 pages by 9:55 am, early! Then re-read the letter's first page to Helen, correcting things, and type the second page and address the three to Don O'Shea, Peter Burgess, and Helen. That's the penultimate item on the DO list, so I type up a NEW do list (see DIARY 91105) and revel in the thought of only 9 items left on it, and get started sorting out the JOYI papers to see what has to be done, scraping the rug-fuzz that Dennis kicked up last night, and the proofread and correct the 90-odd pages that I've done so far, very time-consuming, and I jerk off very successfully, but NOW they seem to be ready for xeroxing, at any extent. That takes until about 3 pm, using a whole piece of correctype, and then I get out to give rent check, mail the three letters, see that no more Bevington books are on the shelf at the library, they don't have a TV Guide, and they don't have any good new records, then find 6 new things in the mailbox from just one day, two more returns, and then buy two bottles, three meats, and over four items of groceries, getting home about 4 to read the mail from both places, have hamburger for lunch, and then get back to chart the yellow-sheet answers from the rest of the respondents, dividing the pages into "first answers" and "page 3 answers" which I'll do later, and then at 7:15 just have to get into the shower, just when Dennis comes in, of course, and he gets back to working and I do lightwork from 7:45-8:15, Dennis moves into the bedroom, Bob Dukes arrives for his session (see DIARY 13303) which lasts until 10:20, then I make tacos, the strawberry aperitif is pretty awful (Vernat Fraise), more corn, and we finish after watching John Cheever seem dreadful on Cavett from 11-11:30, then to bed at 12:15, Dennis seeming tired, and we chat for a bit, adjust the conditioner, and get to sleep about 12:30.

DIARY 13308

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 16. I piss just before 7:15 alarm; Dennis lies there while I start jerking off, getting hard, putting on light, and he's right there, and I come without a word, only heavy breathing, and he takes my come and rubs it on his cock and I start talking to him, and he comes without touching at the end, and then I grab and wring it from him, and he groans and writhes and gets out of bed quickly at 7:55 to shower while I fry ham and make good scrambled eggs with it, moving quickly to make the bed, water the plants, eat, even wash dishes as he slouches through end of meal, and he leaves at 9:10 and I get down to typing diary, talking about my dream of the French river and woman and boys and movie (see DIARY 13304), about my getting tired of working on JOYI (see DIARY 13305), and then do a draft of NEW YORK J/O GROUP FORMATION (see DIARY 13306) and a draft for the EXPLANATORY LETTER FOR JOYI MAILING (see DIARY 13307), which I keep with the JOYI files until I get the final draft from them, and I finish this 6th page at 12:25 pm! Then get to typing more pages from JOYI, getting rather depressed with some of them, and then about 3 decide I really want to see if anything more's come today, so I go off and pick up ONE letter, sadly, and come back for the mail and process that, delighted that the Met is doing 4 programs live, including the "Bartered Bride" that I wanted to see, and then get back to typing more pages. Stop for hamburger about 5:30, talking to Don a lot, hoping that he and Ernie can come over tomorrow night, and then shower and do lightwork from 7:10-7:35, then off on a slow subway to get to class at 8:20 for a good session (see DIARY 13315) and out at 10:15 having signed up with Dorothy for exchanging sessions, and up to Dennis's buying more wine, and he's puzzling out dinner, and decide on salad with buttermilk dressing, and lots of onions (which fry up too little) and liver, which bloats and had to be cut LENGTHWISE to fry it more. Talk about his disgust with work, my delight with Actualism, and we finish eating (oh, watched Eartha Kitt on Cavett from 11-11:30, when he started cooking) at 12:50, and we're both so tired that we just crawl into bed, leaving air conditioning on full, and he practically falls asleep as I talk with him, then SPILL the sangria on his cotton bedspread, which thankfully I can wash out, and hang it in the shower to dry about 1:10, and I'm feeling pretty good and HE'S having problems with lack of sleep.

DIARY 13316

THURSDAY, AUGUST 17. Alarm clicks at 7:15, he's up and I fall back to sleep to dream about Dennis in new pants and think about the fabric of writing (see DIARY 13311), and then up at 8:35 and he's made eggs and a tablespoon of buttermilk super-fast, and salad with oil and vinegar, and toast, and I eat by 8:45 and decide that I have to SHOWER, so leave, him saying that he'll be over this evening, and get home at 9:30 to phone Don, who's coming over at last, and then get into the shower and wash my hair and get out at 10, delighted that Susan's late. Type 2 pages on the insights on Basics I got in Actualism last night (see DIARY 13309-13310), and Susan gets here at 10:50 and we talk until 12:05 and she does the back of an Oil and Vibrator on me until 1:45 (see DIARY 13312), and then I scoot out to Dr. Hsu, getting there just in time and getting my sixth acupuncture (see DIARY 13313) and he says I should call him on 8/28, so it won't be so soon for me. Back on the Lex in the 90 heat, seeing that the Metropolitan Life Insurance Company has TWO full blocks for its buildings, and check to find THREE letters for JOYI, which I read on the john while waiting for the hamburger to broil at 3:30, and I'm just eating it at 4 when Pat Mandino calls and says she's on Hicks but left my address at work, so I gulp down the hamburger and greet her at 4:05 and SHE finds I remind her of someone (see DIARY 13314), and she gets a session from me, which takes a LOT of sweat out of me, and she leaves at 5:45 and I change undershirts and finish reading Soho Weekly News, and I'd phoned Shelley for another ACC index, being sent, and Lois sent Dennis's pages today, so everything's going well. Dennis phones a few times, and I'm typing when Don calls at 7:30 to say he's leaving then, and I finish this 8th page with relief at 8:05 pm. Then, with more time, do a page on the things that DO seem to be changing (see DIARY 13317) and a draft of a letter to Meredith about JOYI (see DIARY 13318), bringing the total to 10 pages, and I'm checking dates when Dennis taps on the door, fearful of disturbing us, at 8:30, and he gets to work and Don and Ernie come in about 8:45, chat for a few minutes, listen to the tape until about 9:30, talk more, then Ernie gets on the table from about 9:45 to 10:30 (see DIARY 13319), fast, and then we're out to Bilqis, disappointing this time, and they're out of Chablis, and Don pays the $27-for-4 bill for all, and then comes back to be impressed with Mystic Moods, but leaves at 12:45 anyway, passing up a chance to sleep on the sofas. Dennis smokes and plays, but is tired and sleeps at 1 am.

DIARY 13320

FRIDAY, AUGUST 18. Alarm goes and Dennis is awake but tired. I play with him then he says his fatigued "I've got to get up," so I just stop and he gets up at 7:35. I piss and make the beds and broil bacon and fry eggs and boil the last of the corn, leading Dennis to say "I'm sure you've kept a list, but I feel I've eaten corn more times this week than ever before in my life," and it went 2, 2, 3, 3, 3 for country 13 and 3,2 for my old 5, so we DID have it 7 times in 6 days. He eats so slowly that I can finish the dishes AND water the plants before he leaves, and I'd put out the garbage to get rid of it and HE takes it down without even being asked or making a deal of it, and I tell myself to remember to thank him for it when he calls today to say if he's coming over tonight. Pick up lint left by the dogs tearing up paper last night, re-shut the bathroom door to increase the coolth of the apartment, though it's only 65 outside, so the thermometer says, and then get these 2 pages done by 10:40, hoping to finish the last of the JOYI today and get to indexes! Type JOYI pages until about 12:30, when I shower and get the place ready for Dorothy's coming, and do lightwork from 12:45-1:15 when she does ring the bell. We chat and get to the session (see DIARY 13321), which doesn't feel entirely together, so maybe I'm just doing too many too fast. She leaves fairly quickly at 3, and I go down for the mail and find a check in the mail from Springer, so I get a list of groceries to get, pick up 4 letters from JOYI which I can incorporate, get two bottles of white wine, rather more groceries than I thought I would have gotten only at the MEAT market, and get back to put on hamburger for lunch, then go through many more pages, but some of them take so long to do that I'm not finished by 9:15, when I put on the chicken, and then Dennis gets over about 9:45, and we have the chicken about 10:30, but it's intermingled with a loud conversation about a cookbook that he got and read to me which I judged to be silly: a cookbook overlaid with "consciousness expansion, nervous energy clearing, and transcendental experiences" that reminded me of the GYPSY song "You Gotta Have a Gimmick." We argue about my judgmentalism and his overreacting, I brush my teeth quite sozzled with the peach wine, and we get into bed, me hoping that he gets a good night's sleep and won't be so touchy, and we keep the air conditioner on: it's not too hot outside, but the feeling of high humidity is very tacky-making.

DIARY 13322

SATURDAY, AUGUST 19. I wake about 8 and start doing lightwork, but fall back to sleep and really don't get very far. He wakes at 9 and gets up to put on coffee, and he says he's not very hungry, so he works on the index while I get to more typing about 9:30, and then get tired of it and start on breakfast about 11, sautéing onions and ham for an enormous omelet, asking him if he doesn't mind that I have only two meals today, doing dishes, but at 5 he asks when I'll be eating, and he says "But I thought you said you HAD eaten only two meals a day," in jest. So he has tuna sandwiches. Bruce calls and asks me over for one of his return sessions on me, so I say I'll be over after 3, but I'd mistaken the TV Guide pages for Sunday for Saturday's, so when I turn TV on at 1 pm to watch my program, it's not on. So I continue with the typing of the JOYI pages, when Dennis isn't typing his cards, and then at 2:30 shower and subway to Bruce's, where his apartment is a mess, his roommate leaves, he plays me some country music, and he does a brutal NHS on me (see DIARY 13323). I leave about 4:45, pick up two letters from JOYI, respond to one of them, get coffee for Dennis and more groceries, and more mail, though NOT the rest of the pages of his book, which she said were mailed on Thursday! He keeps coming to me with comments from the book, which eventually rather tire me out, but I get to the END of the JOYI typing, count up the pages to find that I have something like 93 even putting them TOGETHER, and find the Meredith note that says he'll only look at 10,000 words for $100, so at 900 words per page, that's only 11 pages! Cross THAT off the list to get down to 8, then start on the Atherosclerosis index on the kitchen table at 6:30-7:50, doing only 51 pages in 80 minutes, then get ready for dinner by making Hoisin sauce for the ribs, put them on at 9:45, then work on the index more from 10-10:40, getting only up to p. 78, a boring book, and then peel the peaches and soak them in maraschino and sciarada for dessert, and the ribs are messy but good, the peas awful, the peaches tasty, the Sancerre disappointing, and we're finished at 12, so he smokes, I put on the Rzewski tape since I'm at that point, and we roll around a lot with sex, me coming first, then me talking him into coming, and then we both fall instantly asleep, DENNIS reaching to shut off the light at 2:45, and ME putting the door closed and the hi-fi off at 5:45 when it starts getting light, for a rather patchy sleep.