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1983 1 of 4

My journal from 1983 is not as detailed or day-by-day as before; I just want to get the BASIC journal pages on the website. For missing days, I've included LIFELIST at the end of the year to supplement journal entries.



I don't seem to WRITE so much anymore, yet some observations seem so PRESSING: like

1) "Dark Crystal" is very Actualism in using light through crystal as an energizing force, particularly at the stunning end (rather like the transformation that climaxed the underrated "Star Trek I") when the triune sun (get it?) "unites" in the sky to strike the "newly united" crystal and "unites" the hideous Skexes with the monkish whatevers to form a NEW life, which then suggests that the two Gelflings "unite" to bring the female one back to life. Marvelous images, light sensitivity, and moving transformation higher.

2) Though I probably saw the special on the "Mzima Spring" before, how could I have forgotten the VERY forceful image that the EXCREMENT from the hippos (who indeed DO look like "horses of the river" when only their heads are seen in profile above the waters) MAKE POSSIBLE the richness of plant, animal, and fish life in the springs, with some fetching photos of fish nibbling under the tail of the hippo to get to still unshat shit. What a parable of the world and how sad it is that man is mucking it all up thoughtlessly.

3) "The Harder They Come," and "Reggae Sunsplash" are so NEGATIVE that it's hard to put the disgust into words: these fucking lazy blacks don't even KNOW enough about Ethiopia to know they'd be MISERABLE there, but want to return to their "roots," and call Haile Selassie their god, and want to destroy Babylon (New York) out of the infantile rage that wants to destroy the delicate watch that it doesn't understand and can't bring down to its own level. Not to mention their COMFORT (slight though it may be) which is ONLY made possible by the very culture they want to destroy; the frustrated rage of the unable-to-create who want the creations of OTHERS to be destroyed without realizing they couldn't SURVIVE without the energies of others. And then the hubris of "you can't just LISTEN to our (boring, repetitious, imagination-lacking) music, you have to FEEL it," which lets me out, because I want some CONTENT other than rhythmically bouncing to and fro like the crutch-brandishing woman silhouetted in the doorway of the theater, and bobbing back and forth in my seat like the cretinous former Moonie shaved-headed man AND woman who sat next to me and talked rudely throughout.



Apartment 8
167 Hicks Street
Brooklyn, NY 11201
December 4, 1982

Dear Mrs. Robertson:

I'm tired and frustrated in my futile attempts to help maintain your building. For over three months I have reported an ever-worsening leak, and I have tried to get my apartment painted as required by law. I moved into the apartment in July, 1972, and the apartment has been painted ONCE on November 10-11, 1978, and I firmly refuse to allow more delay in painting.

These are my records of my attempts to get my apartment painted:
August: Told Mrs. Johnson a number of times; she's not concerned anymore.
September: Told Mr. Fethi Lever a number of times; he doesn't do anything.
October 12: Phoned Mr. Gertz about the painting and the water leak.
October 21: Told Mr. Gertz I wanted action: I was losing patience.
October 23: Mr. Gertz inspects the leak and agrees the apartment needs painting.
October 29: No answer to messages left with Mr. Gertz's office.
November 15: In anger and impatience I write Mr. Gertz I'm withholding rent.
November 30: No answer to messages left with Mr. Gertz's office.
December 1: Complaint lodged with New York Housing Code Enforcement Office.
December 4: This letter to you and to Mr. Gertz with my rent check. My rent record is very good; I wish I could say the same about the apartment maintenance.

These are my records of my attempts to get the leak fixed:
August 29: Told Mrs. Johnson; she said "It's not my business."
September 1-3: Water leaking; Judy Watson says it's dry in apartment 10; after trying to contact Mr. Fethi Lever a number of times, he says he's fixed it upstairs. Then it's dry until October 22, when I phone Mr. Gertz. On October 23 Mr. Gertz sees the destruction due to the leak already (I can only assume that the destruction will get WORSE until the leak is fixed---it seems to me that it is extremely risky to wait until major structural repair may be needed). He says the leak should be fixed before the bathroom is repainted. I tell him it must be painted before December and he agrees. I phone Judy Watson when the leak is very bad on November 12, but she says she's done nothing different: taken a shower, washed clothes, and the floor is dry. We are both frustrated in trying to find a pattern of when it leaks and when it doesn't. However, each time it leaks it gets worse and worse, dripping from three different locations in the bathroom. Today it drips again, and again Judy Watson can report nothing to help. I suppose this can go on forever until the ceiling falls in. I don't want that to happen, but I don't know what to do.

Mrs. Robertson, I don't have the TIME to write letters such as this. This is YOUR building and I hope YOU are interested in its maintenance. I was hoping that my telephone calls to Mr. Gertz would be answered; they haven't been. I was hoping that withholding rent would bring you to my assistance; after two weeks I haven't even had a response from you or Mr. Gertz about my November 15 letter to him. I can't continue withholding rent because I don't want to ruin MY reputation as a good tenant. So I will continue to pay rent but I will NOT continue to be frustrated in having the leak fixed and the apartment painted. I hope you have enough interest in this situation to respond to me with information about steps to be taken in repairing the leak and painting the apartment. I have devoted too much time, and been too frustrated with no response, to continue.

Yours very truly,

Robert Zolnerzak

cc: Mr. Paul Gertz



December 29, 1982


In general, it's been an extraordinary year!

When I gave a talk at the American Society of Indexers annual symposium in November, I researched how MUCH I'd done this year in how LITTLE time. Now you'll hear a bit of bragging, based on a lot of numbers. I've actually done 55 indexes this year, ranging in price from $119 to $8650. When I discovered what my income was, and what my TAX will be, I was sorry that my latest computer possibility fell through. I might have told you that two years ago I was ABOUT to buy a computer when the company went out of business! Properly frightened, I settled back into my productive manual indexing system until I started hearing about actual programs that had been written for various computers. The best seemed to be a system written by someone just a few miles from here in Brooklyn, for the Commodore computer. After many demonstrations and promises to buy, I requested one last set of expansions to the program, saying I would buy the $7000 computer-and-program package when the program was ready. Sadly, last month I was told, in effect, that I "broke the bank" of the existing system and the seller wasn't interested in spending the money to produce my system. So I started searching again and have found two or three very promising substitutes, but again I'm waiting for the incorporation of "my little changes" before I decide which one to buy. So it's pretty certain that my computer will be here before the end of NEXT year, but I sure could use an investment tax credit for THIS year!

What did I do with the money? A big thing with me (as always): travel! I've had "only" EIGHT vacations in 1982: finished 37 days in Italy on January 20, drove to Albany for 3 days in February, drive to Atlanta for 9 days in March and April, drove to Florida for 21 days in June and July, flew to France for 12 days in July and August, drove to the Adirondacks and Hemlock Hall for 5 days in September and October, drove to Provincetown for 4 days in October, and flew to Florida to see Disney's EPCOT for 7 days in December; that last trip is one of the reasons this letter comes AFTER Christmas. So there's almost 100 days of vacation! Even I am amazed!! I've continued to spend a lot on Actualism, the consciousness-raising organization that's challenged and enlightened me over the past seven years; and I still love to absorb the entertainment that New York is famous for: operas, plays (the one that stands out is "Cats"), dance, movies (more "old movie" theaters in New York than ever before), and restaurants---which now charge upwards of $50/person without blinking an eye, but usually provide an eating EXPERIENCE that makes me look forward to the next one.

Of course, friends continue to enter, remain, and leave my life, and I've seen more than a few of you on my travels this year---but am still not very happy that so FEW of you seem to have the inclination to travel to NYC. Next year promises some interesting (and lucrative) writing jobs for me---and I may even get back to my OWN writing when a computer makes keeping track of everything so much easier. But, for the first time in AGES, I have absolutely no trip plans in mind---except that a friend is moving to Melbourne, and I HAD been thinking of seeing New Zealand and Australia in the spring; the Caribbean is always fun; Europe is endlessly interesting; and I STILL haven't visited my English-teacher friend in Tokyo. But no plans!

Hope all is well with you and those close to you. HAPPY NEW YEAR!



I thought it was $60 prix fixe, but for some reason the bill was (TAX @ 8.25%!) $129.90.
We started with Kir Royale, and they even repoured it for us, darkly, too, with Moet! With that we were served 5 olive-types with bread that wasn't too special. Appetizers were oysters and sea scallops and lettuce (so finely shredded I had to ask what the delicious substrate was) in a beurre blanc, delicious, with a Meursault 1976, which wasn't special, but it wasn't bad, either. Then Medallions of beef, braised endive wrapped in lettuce, and slippery jack mushrooms, served with a Pinot Noir which was tasty for a red, getting drunk. Pinot Noir was a Robert Mondavi Reserve 1978, lots of AMERICAN wines here. The Field Salad was nothing special, though the dressing was good. Then Heidt Cabernet Sauvignon 1973, and it seems courses are getting confused. Dessert is an eggnog and chestnut bombe with a stunning Chateau Latrezotte Sauterne from 1976 that I liked so much he peeled off a label for me. Then we ended with Columbian coffee and Chocolate Truffles, all we could eat, and they repoured and repoured the coffee. We started there early at 7:15, though there was a LONG time to wait for the first course, but then things moved quickly, people even moving in and out of the spacious dining room (surprised to see room for only about 10 tables, 35 max people), and we didn't leave until 11:15, taking a respectable 4 hours, so for $19/hour, it's not bad at all. I give it three stars in my list of restaurants for Dennis (LISTS 36), the only one to get that so far, JUST below the ABSOLUTE magic of Lutece, Le Cygne, and Dodin-Bouffant (now defunct), and above all the others. I wouldn't mind going here AGAIN, but after a period of time. Nice to have around, and surprised by the YOUTHFUL quality of the crowd and the niceness (and non-Frenchness) of the serving staff. And, truthfully, all the wine you can drink, so that we're both QUITE bombed as we reel out to a taxi, conveniently close across the river so that it cost only $4.75, which with the $18.10 tip, brings the evening to $152.75, second in price by less than a dollar than the Palace, but that was back in 1980!



I'm lying awake Sunday morning, January 30, and it's quite clear that I'm not happy, though I have REASONS to be: computer's "on its way in," my mailings are caught up with, so the burden's on someone ELSE, there's a fair degree of money coming in and a good (maybe TOO good) amount of work scheduled. I don't feel a PRESSURE to travel because I HAVE traveled so much so recently; even PERSONAL relations might be glacially moving somewhere with David Hoch, but I agitate about the NUMBER of indexes (469 pages from Raven due 2/8, 500+ pages from Lea and Febiger due 2/12, the Level Three pages from HBJ due 2/15, and a 1000-page Springer due 2/25, plus a Raven and a Lea waiting for later completion and a 4000-page Churchill waiting in the wings for fairly prompt delivery (by 4/30)) and the amount of time in between getting in the computer and getting into the Foxon-Maddocks system. Also doing lots of television (some of it unnecessary) and movies and "going," and gently concerned about seeing Midge on Tuesday (are my meetings for the day cancelled, what will I wear, what will we talk about, will I take the car?), but THE OVERALL IMPRESSION IS OF AGITATION AND DISPLEASURE, RATHER THAN HAPPINESS. My brain niggles and niggles and niggles, still, and then there's the leak and the painting and the apartment shuffle. AND the constant irritation I find with Spartacus and Susan for their "intensity" and with the gym for its noise and talk-level, though I'm thinking that that might just be JEALOUSY. ONE thing is that there's no one to TALK to, and I'm not even looking forward to Dennis's return in early February. Keep thinking that I have to get out of the "striving toward" and get into an "enjoying BEING" where I am. I'm HERE, not "where I want to be." I'm LIVING, not "going to live when these things get done." Happiness has to be NOW, with what IS, rather than later, when without ANY doubt there will be NEW things "waiting to be done." Yes, I WOULD like a personal relationship to BE here now; and I DO have to start turning down indexes so that I can leave myself TIME to get currently scheduled things out of the way so I DON'T feel so pressured about the biggies like the math writing and the 4000-page index. So be EASY with yourself, Bob, just be EASY with yourself!

HAWAII TRIP WITH JJ, May 10 - 27, 1983

TUESDAY, MAY 10: DREAM: I go into a Carvel-type shoppe and some announcer is screaming "Sexist" because the black female clerk hands out "Master" buttons to her MALE clients and "Friend" buttons to her FEMALE clients. She laughs and says it's not important. Then I'm EAGER to jerk off in a bed in a LARGE room but people keep opening the door and looking in. Then I'M working in a shop and people keep asking the STUPIDEST questions, like the obvious-thief female who slyly asks "Could I have a job selling airlines tickets," and I reply sarcastically that she'd better try a ticket AGENCY, wondering who'd give a job to someone obviously ready to steal a ticket for HERSELF and fly away! Great dream before a flight! Journal: To bed at DOT of 12 and lie awake for a longish time, legs cramping, but drift off. Wake during the night and go back to sleep. Wake in daylight and it's 6AM and I get up. Broil last hamburg but so busy putting things away and repacking shoes and bathing suit and shirts and bathroom stuff and decide NOT to take seersucker jacket and get out at 7:12 after giving keys to John and recording phone message. JUST get CC to Jay, dash across to WRONG JFK train as it pulls out toward Manhattan, and back to wait to 7:27 EXACTLY as train draws in. Write this still underground at 7:40. Day's BEGUN! Window seat but no LUGGAGE check! May 1983 "American Way" magazine of 220 pages has FULL page ads for Apple [H=Hardware; S=Software](2), Osborne(H), Digital (H2), Network (2/3H), Tymnet, IBM (H2), Microsoft (S), Dot (H), Micropro (S2), Hewlett-Packard (H), Cromemco (H), BPI Software (S), Texas Instruments (H2), Eagle (H), Data Systems furniture (2 1/2), Altos (H), NEC (H), CPT (S), Wang (H), Digital (H), Visicorp (S), Keypro (H), System (S), TRS (H 1/12), Epson (H), Davong (H), TDX (H), for 32 pages in all! LA is 5 hours and 8 minutes, due for 11:45 arrival. Locker T415 in LAX security. SQUARE fields go to ROUND ones, then desert, then Rockies, then REAL desert, then Sierras, and clouded landing at 11:43. Into airport and THEY have lockers. Wait at noon. I processed a LOT. JJ gets luggage and checks it and we get $25 cab ride along Route 405 and 10 to Amy's at 1:00. Look at things to do and Getty parking is filled today. She drives us and we see Villa Papiri bronze reproductions, gardens, HUGE French furnishing collection, paintings, a De la Tour he loves, sexy Greek vases I love, and buy books on large bodies. Grand place. At 4:50 call for cab, but by 5:10 JJ says we should take the bus. It goes inland and we walk back 8 blocks. Get car (Amy was FREE at 7!) and go downtown to Bonaventure Hotel, parking easily, and look around lavish lobby that surprises him and up to Bona Vista for gin and tonic for him and Pegasus (gin, vodka, passion fruit) for me, on ROTATING bar, his first. Good snacks, too. Drive back at 8, getting turned around, and they're waiting for us to drive us to Venice for Siamese Gardens dinner with 3 beers each and good food and talk. At 11 to West Beach Cafe for some attractive people and 3 cognacs (Louis XIII for $50 a sniff) and others for $17 and $12: Hennessy XO and another. Talk til 1 and back to loft to sleep, exhausted.

WEDNESDAY, MAY 11. I wake at 5:30 and up at 6:30 to repack into bag and shower and out to beach at 7:30 and watch people and cliffs and bodies, and do session til 8:30, back to find Amy and Adam still in bed. JJ has no ideas so I suggest a route and he agrees. We leave about 9:05 for La Brea and park near and wander grounds and have breakfast at 9:45 and into bones museum for impressive bones-body mirror exhibits for saber-toothed tiger and woman from 9000 years ago. LARGE quantities of LARGE animals and 10:20 film says they've got ten TONS of bones. Around with quick interest and then to LA County museum (both for $20 from 10:45 - 11:10, quick tour of bodies and painting and costumes and glass and closed Tibetan and another De la Tour for JJ. Out at 11:15 and take Wilshire Boulevard and Santa Monica Boulevard back through traffic; in JUST at 12 as taxi pulls in. Grab bags and kiss Amy goodby and out at 12:05 to LOCAL route to rebuilding airport at 12:40, getting to wrong gate and to right gate at 12:50 and reseated JUST behind wing, DRAT. Fly at 1:25, 10:25 Hawaii time, said to be 5 hours, 11 minutes of flight. They test LANDING gear IN flight and fly NORTH, both of which terrify me. Then to sea, over MANY Channel Islands (5-6) and "Officer and Gentlemen" permits me to close my eyes after doing puzzles. Look for addresses at 3:08, STILL not starting down. Call Ben at 4PM. Into Dollar car at 4:24 and get UNDER, not ON, Nimitz, but find road to H-1 (78), ALSO confusing, and LOTS of trouble with SHIFTING! JJ has bad hay fever: sneezing and sniffing and hawking in throat. Traffic and stops and starts and raindrops and green cliffs and he's impressed. Get about FIVE sets of directions to Lanikai (gas station says "turn left" but we take WRONG left and go NORTH, not EAST). Get turn torn and ask kin in car and he says "straight." Get to AFB and he says "back." Ask guy on road and he says "left." Turn left and go awhile and along beach and another says "continue," and into Lanikai for boating and another says "down coast-road" and THERE is 1310 at 5:45! Ben broke arm in August and got cured and REBROKE it 6 weeks ago. They spent 83 days on freighter President Taylor from Seattle-Seattle via Alaska, Egypt, Penang, Palawan, etc, and he got FLUID in lungs. They're leaving in a week to Nova Scotia, train to New Orleans and back through Mexico. Looking at next trip to London, Norway, and ship back to Canal zone. He got myeloma and radiation and chemotherapy (hair fell out, still lots; feels timed, gets bruised easily, thin skin, gone down to 150 lbs) but under control and feeling good. They have dinner later tonight. Out at dimming 6:30 after pictures. Onto north shore as it gets dark at 7:10 and we find NO hotels. Non-touristy but scary for our visit. Past cliffs and invisible buildings and at 7:45 come to Laniloa. Get $39 room and get told that restaurant closes in 12 minutes. Vegetable soup and his beef and my mahi mahi (tuna-like) good enough with rawish baked potato and lots of butter and frozen corn and kindly waiter and double fruit punch. Out at 8:45 and look at beach and stars and clouds and GREAT shooting star, and back to bed at 9:45, totally tired.

THURSDAY, MAY 12. Wake at 5:15 and shower and out at 5:50 to watch sun come up through clouds at 6. Watch people: guy and a family on beach; crabs digging away. Strong tear-bringing wind. I write this to catch up by 6:35, having left not for still-resting JJ saying I'm back 6:30-7. Rows of breakers way out under AM haze, and sun is warm to skin already. NICE! Feel rested and ready to go! Back to find JJ showered but still not packed. He is CONSTANTLY clearing his throat, which I have to CONSTANTLY process not to get annoyed with. He clips his nails for what I hope is the only time on the trip and leisurely packs things away as I gather up last stuff and write this at 6:50. Breakfast 7:05-7:45: HUGE cream, banana, syrup, butter-covered pancakes for JJ and pineapple and egg (doesn't work) and ham omelet with home fries and hot chocolate for me. Drive north to Banzai Pipeline 8-8:55! Great! Waimea 9:05 and they let us in! To falls by Stream Trail by 9:55. Games: spear throwing, dart sliding, bowling, grass-hill sliding. "An hour or so" at Waimea Falls turns into 9:05-12:35! Rush to airport and for $6 gas we get $5.33 return for a $21.64 total bill! Car to Hawaii at 1:20 and find there's a Hilo flight at 2! Get STANDBY and get on AT 2 and start moving at 2:05! Off at 2:22 in back of C5A (pictures) and over Oahu (picture) and Molokai (picture) and HUGE Haleakala (picture) for HARD landing at 3PM (38 minutes!) and off at 3:10 to have camper guy say he'll be there in five minutes. JJ waives lunch. He comes at 3:25, and he TALKS til 4:30. Drive for gas for $28 and groceries for $32 and along SOUTH road for BIG breakers on lava and to Kamoamoa at dark at 7:15. Park and eat AWFUL steak and bed at 9PM.

FRIDAY, MAY 13: Wake at midnight to shut windows for rain, lose an earplug, and wake at 5:30 to go out for very clouded sunrise at 6 but LOVELY creamy surf-foam to 6:30. Back for breakfast and shave and leave at 8AM. To Information booth before woman arrives, but get SAME brochure from 1980. Along Chain of Craters road, reading all signs, loving look of slides of pahoehoe in sun, gazing into craters, trying to see where latest eruptions were. Up to Halemaumau at 10:45, and trek out to hot vista, and back to car at 11:30 to go eat, after rainy Observatory, and I have tuna and yogurt and triscuits and beer, GREAT, and JJ has eggs inside. At 12:30 to Information Center for 1PM film and exhibits, across to Volcano House for film, and around to clouded Kiluea Iki overlook, through Thurston Lava Tube, and back down road to search for April 8 flow. Find it at 4PM, fascinated. Up to Pahoa after stopping at Kalapana for JJ's black sand, and stop in painted church and pick up mangoes. Through Hilo at 5, to Akaka for GREAT park from 5:30-6, then up to Lapahoehoe past GREAT falls and down lonely road to enter at 6:30, and I surf-watch til 7:30, closed boat ramp and tomb of 24 kids, mostly Japanese, killed by tsunami of 4/1/48. We have salad and liver and oranges and mangos for dessert, having fun, and lotion sun-reddened flesh and get ready for bed at 8:45! Into bed at 9 but woke later to hear souped-up hot-rods roaring past, and drunken shouts, AND I feel tremors (reminded of woman at Volcano Information Center saying there'd been a 3.9 earthquake THIS MORNING at 12:30AM! So I BLAZE up all the Warriors and put protective rings around so we'll be innocuous. Then remember JJ left the driver's window open, and thinking of someone stealing our permit or getting into the camper or just making a mess---or the RAIN making a mess; I get down to close it, AND get earplugs to blot out the drunks. Things continue pretty loud and I dither with fear.

SATURDAY, MAY 14. I wake before light, then JJ's up to go to the john and run water a bit and the pump repeats about once a minute before he goes down and shuts it off again, having to crawl over me to get to the stairs. Then it's light and I'm up and out at 5:35, taking long trousers and jacket and camera, and the sun surprises me by coming up at 5:48, a gray-orange orb making one CLEAR diameter and then one FOGGY diameter before being consumed by the rainclouds moving heavy and gray from the south. It peeks through as I try to get a good spray-shot next to the camper on the beach, but tide's out a bit and it's not HALF as high as last night. Rain starts and I'm in at 6 to write this by 6:10, cool and damp and just two other vehicles were visible, and JJ crawls down for an early start. Fifty miles on day 1, 150 on day 2. On road at 7:45 in rain, up for $30 gas and a full water tank in Honokaa, then to Waipio Overlook for clouded view of smallish valley, then to groceries and around to Waimea, passing Parker Ranch Museum in center and back to 10AM show for $4 for 2. 136 years, 250,000 acres (2/3 of Oahu), 40-50,000 head cattle, 1 1/2 year from birth to sale, 10,000,000 lbs of beef/year, 1/3 of Hawaii's produce, 1/7 of Hawaii's consumption for 135 TOTAL employees! CATTLE shipped to Honolulu for FEED. LOSE 10-14% of body weight in 24 hour crossing. For 120-150 days they eat 25 lbs of grain/day! From 600 to 1000lbs per head. $1.20 down to 70 cents/lb for beef SOLD. Becomes a TRUST for the 7th generation two sons. Quickly through museum and Duke Kahanamoku room and out at 11:05 to check out the Parker Ranch Broiler, but beef is NOT their staple and they go in for burgers and stews! We opt NOT to see the Kamuela Museum and go north on 250 around views south over Mauna Loa and Mauna Kea that would be SUPER in clear weather, not with clouds over summits. Hot and windblown road, HUGE vistas. Pass brown-skinned Kamehameha Statue, and to Poiliu Valley Lookout, frightening horses and asses. Sit for a bit and I suggest eating HERE and he suggests Keokea Beach Park, so we're down and I make TOAST for his fried eggs in broiler and we have yogurt and beer. Lay for a bit in steamy sun til 3, and then back along road through Hawi and past route to Upolu Airport and south, realizing that they HUGE volcano visible is NOT Mauna Kea but HALEAKALA, on Maui! Pass a few beaches and stop at Lapohiki, blazing hot and my towel blows mightily. Lots of rocks and I'm tired and cranky. Back to car and down to Spencer Beach to look at swimmers and snorklers (saw yellow fish in water at Lapahiki). No campers at Spencer, but we're around to cyclists who tore door off men's room and gather LOTS of mangos and back to car past resorts and lava flows and boring roads EXCEPT for white "graffiti" on rocks in charming names and patterns. The heat and stickiness is fierce, and we look forward to clouds over Kailua. First to dock and it's JAMMED (oh, we looked at Honakahou Boat Harbor, too, busy and obviously possible and noisy), so out to "block" north and remember him talking of abandoned airstrip. LOTS of cars and families, and JJ persuades me to stop through I fear it'll be noisy. Out to watch sunset at 6, taking spray pictures, and sit watching dusk and crescent moon. I'm in to shower and feel better and he peels mangoes after we have chicken nuggets and corn and I get out wine and ice and he peels orange-mango salad that's VERY nice. Again to bed at the stroke of 9PM, pissing outside. Few car-noises during night, but JJ's annoyed.

SUNDAY, MAY 15: Wake in middle of night dripping from rain through top, and close it and middle one. Wake at 5:25 again and up at 5:45 for cloudy non-sunrise over hills. Out to beach and shit in pavilion, back at 6:15 to find JJ toasting bread for breakfast, heated rolls and toast. V8 tastes GOOD. He's taking a shower so I walk along beach from 7:15 to 7:45, seeing a 100-150 boat "race" to Kailua. Get to Kapu area and debate jerking off but there's not enough cover. Back to chat with the solitary male camper I surprised while he was pissing behind a bush, who said the race took place YESTERDAY too. Back to JJ to find he wants to sun. I catch up a bit on this and he's back REEKING so much from the surf that I give him my deodorant. Write more while he shaves, then we get $10 gas and windows cleaned and (drove 150 miles YESTERDAY to 350) up route 190 which is upside down: HIGHWAY road is low but mountain-crest dry and windy and boring: UPPER road is high but green and tree-flower lined and valley-like! To saddle road for LOTS (4-6) of Army helicopters and 6-wheel drives and trucks and a disgruntled CO in a jeep gnawing a cigar (yeah, I know). Up and up, disappointed that THIS road has no ELEVATION signs, and that the State Park says "no camping" and has no brochures. To left on fork road with NO signs on it and up a STEEP road to 9000 feet, where we pull in to see what's what. I get out to find JJ's talking FRENCH with two french astronomers and various family that WORK up there and they'll take US up TOO! Get sweaters and eat tuna for a quick lunch and have a beer for drink and get off about 11 "for two hours." I'd done LIGHTWORK up through LOGOIC and there WERE NO CLOUDS ABOUT EITHER VOLCANO! AND a great ride to VERY top to 11:30 up the 15 km that rises from 9200 to 13,800 feet. Up elevator to walkway around infrared telescopes (this site BEST in the world for this)(and JJ mentions ASTRONAUTS training here as MOST moonlike site) and he says "to feeblest" and I blithely inquire "20th magnitude?" and he backs down to 16th. Huge place and we listen to HIS french talk and ENGLISH recording and I take last shot on reel and go to unload camera and rewind knob pops off! Look on floor but figure I have all pieces. Up to dining room and french woman helps a lot using HER expensive camera as a MODEL, deciding there MUST be a screw missing. I blaze up RW and look around floor of room (freezing my hands and knees in the process) and look at base of shoes and then look in bag and FIND IT! And SHE puts it together! And it WORKS!! Have hot soup before fix and have sandwich after. Out to deck again and find ICE formed! Back WHITE, as JJ says, and rest before we leave at 3:30, but I'm hopping out to take pictures on way down, jabbering French like mad. JJ says he never heard me carry on a conversation! Down amicably and I drive CRAZILY down saddle road, coming near to losing control on ONE curve with an oncoming car surprising me too far out of the center of the road. Down to sea and back to Rainbow Falls, then back out along shore and take "four-mile scenic drive" that's one of the NICEST on the ISLAND. To Kolekole under bridge with drummers in back, but we decide they'll leave or WE will! I'm down to shore with GREAT surf and odd two-level waterfall nearby, ending this at 6:50; no discernible sunset. VERY tired again, and the FAST part of the trip is starting! 110 miles today--others drove more FOR us. Back to tough liver dinner and JJ does the good wine-mango-orange dessert himself. Everyone drives away and all's quiet when we bed at 9PM. Again it rains and I have to close all the windows.

MONDAY, May 16: Wake early and often and out of bed at 5:30, feeling vaguely weary. Sunrise through strata of clouds and back to beer-one egg-triscuit-tuna-roll-toast clean-up breakfast til 7. Pack and shower after JJ does , using ALL the water. Back to Akaka 7:40-8, and back to Hilo THROUGH rain but not IN rain by 8:15. $4 for park permits and as JJ says "He does not check ANYthing." I take two beers and we get driver to Hawaii Airlines for standbys for $29.95 again. Board at 8:50 with NO standby check made, plane only about 1/5 full. At 9:05 flight time of 20 minutes announced. VERY cloudy, but we sit at windows on left (JJ FAR back) hoping for views. Mid-Pacific said to be $26 to standby, only $3 cheaper, but ALL first-class seats! We take off at 9:13, great Hawaii views on left, smooth altitude gain, and views down over Waipio and Pololu Valley that I snap furiously. Clear view of mountain tops but Kahala cloud-shrouded, though Upolu Airport clear. Lots of waterfalls. Then to RIGHT for cloud-flanked Haleakela, and back to left for red-topped Kahoolawe. Back to right for TIGHT curve over Kahului and Wailuku, and land at 9:38, 25 minute flight great. Off following giant yellow footprints to terminal, get a brochure and phone Beachboy at 9:50, and she says she'll be ten minutes. There at 10:05 and back five minutes to jeep-rental FRANCHISE of Beachboy operation with old Holo-Holo equipment. Large shirtless blond bumbles around with THICK chest, and Steve Kahn-type in tanned legs tries to help, but flaky girl handles $4/day insurance and camp-permit discussion and gas and grocery buying and water-filling: start mileage at 07875. I go to john and help with water and nag skinny bitch to move her silver Lincoln so we can get out. Fill with $17 of gas, maybe too much, at 11:10, so the whole "check in" took an hour. Around curves and hotels to Maui soda and ice for 50 lb block of ice for the icebox that I have to wrestle in for $2. Then up Main to make wrong turn and get into Iao Valley at 11:40, jammed with tour busses and cars. Kennedy's profile is too optimistic, but the cloud-topped steep bluffs are impressive even WITHOUT their central waterfalls. Follow FABULOUS tanned chest over white pants over black trunks along garden trail, then muscle-flexing poser-for-wife's-photo across bridge for stubby Iao Needle, again cloudy bluffs more impressive and sharper. Up to top view-point with Japanese and Samoan and Hawaiian and American tourists, and down train to follow stream up to viewpoint from rocks of lower bluffs of upper valley and 1/2 inch crabs scurrying on margins of mid-stream rocks and I contemplate THEIR lives and hopes and worries and prospects. Back to car at 12:30 and check out Iao Broiler to find no tour busses, only huge red-velvet armchairs and a good meal for $24: stir-fry shrimp for me with "fat fries" that are quartered potatoes, and a sloe screw (billed "slow driver,") but no mud pies for dessert. JJ has Black Forest eggs with turkey and ham and sauce, and macadamia nut pie, creamed, big enough for two. We leave about 1:45, going to post office for his stamps when lady at curio shop says she's going out of business; then to shopping center, driving through until we come to Foodland and buy $35+ of groceries for only two days! Then they don't have slide film, so we have to go to drugstore where I buy three rolls for $18+. Finally get onto Hana Road at 3:10PM, thinking 53 miles will be a breeze. Start in lots of traffic, but we're attracted by seven colorful (2 yellow, red, blue, white patterns) surf-sailers in Hookipa, and we watch entranced as they LEAP over waves. Back onto emptier road by 3:40 and people are coming BACK, including tour limousines. Starts to rain and a huge intense-violet-bottomed rainbow hovers about fabulous valleys and inlets and trees. Some parts of road are paveed mango, literally slick with squashed fruit and an overripe smell. Dozens of waterfalls cascade under bridges carrying road,and it's double-lane for 25-30 miles, but then centerline, then dots, then new paving gives out and the road's rather bad, particularly with drivers dizzy from the return trip driving toward us in OUR lane. Huge vistas of bamboo on the other walls and enormous congeries of trees and dense dangles of green mangos make JJ say this is the best road yet, though he fights traffic and turns all the way. I suggest we stop about 5 for macadamia nuts and luau punch and we love it. Back in for darking drive through Hana at last, road better, and still more traffic. Then it's bad again past Puuiki and there are no more SIGNS for anything. Really getting dark and he's got light on and I suggest a few level places under trees at roadside for stopping by 7PM. Pass VERY high Wailua Falls, thinking they must be Seven Pools, and road gets worse and darker and we record mile 952 for turnoff so we can get back to it if we must. THEN pass sign saying "Watch for pedestrians on bridge" followed by "entering Haleakala National Park," which shocks me no end, and "Ohia Stream" and on bridge it's clear that THESE are Seven Pools. It says "camping ahead," and since it's National Park it's OK for us! Get to gate at 7:10 and drive to mid-road, not trusting driving more since we can hardly see. We take off on foot down to edge of camping area, apparently perfect, and walk back to car at 7:30 when it's TOTALLY dark. Drive down and park at VERY edge, and I'd asked guy camping where john was and he said around corner, so we got it ALL. I wander out but it starts to rain, rains HARD, and I close top vent over bed to find the sheet is WET. I pan-fry chicken we'd bought to bake but have no OVEN, and they're great with corn. Wine (Reunite white) is just GRAND soda and JJ has beer and he carves pineapple we bought for 94 cents into a "presentation" that's just LUSH in taste. Bed very tired at 9:35, but when it rains we find the top vent LEAKS onto center of bed! I move to lower one wrapped in blanket and it works OK. Rains and blows on and off through the night. Remember later that we're on the windward side!

TUESDAY, MAY 17. Wake a number of times, once after dreaming of having to do something very special at my job at IBM that demanded my Radio Shack computer. Wake about 5 and think about computer and doing good things on it and work and NY and decide I might be "ready to go back." JJ says "There's something wrong with that place" because HE dreamed about work too. Mileage at start of day is 07956. I'm out for a bit but it's VERY cloudy and NO sunrise, so back to write this while JJ discovers the joys of hot-bottle shaving foam. He bathes and gets ready and we pan-fry rolls and butter and yogurt til 7:30. I'd walked cliff-bluff to john, then to archeological sites on short-cropped grass, then to estuary of Seven Pool stream, so when we left I said "This way" and we enjoyed moving mist on trees and following trails up and down the 5-55 pools. No one around and lovely "racing" possibilities down falls and ponds occur to me. Back to car at 8:15 to find that the battery seems TOTALLY dead. JJ fiddles with the highly corroded wires and it starts, and we're underway at LAST at 8:30, to find as we swing around that GUSHES of water flow from melting cube that DOESN'T leak out! Mop up and laugh that we'll NEVER get going and go FURTHER around til road REALLY gives out and I ask farmer for Lindberg's grave and he says "past this house, second driveway on right." Back and find it's the Kipahulu Congregational Church, built in 1857 for $58.32 1/2 and reconstructed in 1931 for $138,45. Etched-glass "window" painting and petal-strewn grave of Lindberg in graveyard as it starts to POUR rain. But it stops and we gaze over cliff-edge and walk back to car looking at huge chimney right there, and back to bridge for a last look and LOTS of cars pass us as we leave camp area at 9:10AM. Rains heavily at times, Hawaii never visible and Haleakala always clouded. Find now that we can only start if we're on a downslope. Stop at Keanee Arboretum to be eaten by mosquitos, identify Mindanao Gum as the color-striped eucalyptus and LOTS of taro. Out and can't start car and JJ wants to return to town. I talk him out of it. Streams in full spate; I stop for mangos and stare out over cliffs again and sun's out and air's dry once more. TRAIN of cars pass and I start gazing at tanned mustached shirtless drivers and feeling horny and debate just staying an extra week in Oahu, going to surfing and Polynesian village and other roads and other freebies on car rental, and staying in the Y and maybe having sex, getting real cock-preoccupied for awhile, just wanting a BODY. Then take turnoff to Haleakala road about 1:15 and up to cloud level and turn back and forth on road before getting to Hosmer's and I say "How about lunch?" and he says "Yup." I use john a bit and we have salami and smoked cheese and beer for lunch and then car won't start AGAIN and JJ fusses while I have a VERY LARGE shit. Up to Park HQ and find reservations needed only for CRATER cottages. Finally to top at a bright 3PM for clouded view of ocean and clear view of crater and Mauna Loa and Mauna Kea. Loud people leave quickly and we trek out to touch silversword. I take lots of pictures---oh, camera button fell off AGAIN this AM at lower falls and tiny piece was less than an inch from a HOLE in my bag! Down to Observatory at 3:30 to find it had closed at 3. Debate what to do next: stay, drive elsewhere? After silence and looking at map and deciding Hosmer's "take off strip" is too short to guarantee a COLD motor's starting, we decide to stay UP TOP at 4:15. So I finish writing THIS, sweltering as hot sun pours through windshield, and JJ writes his cards in the back. People come and go and take pictures and attract me with tanned bare legs and chests. Yum! Then sun hits my eyes about 5:15 as I write this, and it's going to be a LONG evening. I smell from no shower this morning and my stomach's rumbling like mad and I might be getting an altitude-headache. SHOULD we have gone down? Well, let's see SUNSET, anyway! At 5:25 JJ suggests we WALK to the summit! I say no (1) too strenuous at this altitude and (2) it'd be dark and COLD as we walked back AFTER sunset. "Then I'll walk a leetle bit around," he says, and leaves to get some sunburn. Sunset-point just BEGINS to purple with haze, and the dramatically back-lit clouds begin to fill in the cracks with wisps of cloud. We drive up at 6 but sun is still high and we can ignore drinking dashing love-crazed hippies who leave before actual sunset. 90% leave before 7PM sunset and none stay to enjoy lovely colors after. Down to park on slope at 7:30 in dark and JJ has LITTLE cheese and salami, and I make mango-pineapple dessert and we're in bed by 8:30, feeling wind rise, but when I go out to piss there are LOTS of stars out. Back in to hope for no more rain, but it's VERY cold so we sit wrapped in blankets and laughing about heat and cold differences. Get out THREE blankets for the bed and JJ drapes a fourth across his feet. Asleep after I warm up, but wake lots of times with cars flashing lights in windows and wind building up, but to nothing like the gales for John and me. Actually comfortable, though I worry about sound of distant rain.

WEDNESDAY, MAY 18: Up at 5AM, dressed, and out at 5:20. Walk to top to 5:30. The place is chattily JAMMED with people, steaming up the windows, and it gets "sunrise ready" at 5:30 but clouds actually MOUNT and climb higher and thicker, and wind rises and it begins RAINING about 5:40, so I move inside, where people are leaving, having given up on seeing sunrise. Tours come and go and the rains blow across from the north steadily. No idea of JJ coming up, so I gotta go DOWN. Wait and wait, and there's the PROMISE of a clearing, but it doesn't germinate. Now my PEN starts running out of ink. First sun-glimpse at 6:10, and it clears a bit at 6:40, with a rainbow at 6:45. I take a few pictures but by 7:30 it's clear that ALL (including west Maui, which I photo) is clear EXCEPT this peak. Then I try to see if it stops raining but it doesn't. I CAN'T get up the nerve to ASK people to drive me down because I DISLIKE them all so much: the three campers who smell up the observatory with breakfast cooking, the "make-outer" more interested in themselves than sunrise, the freezing kids, the carload of hippies cooking cereal in the back trunk as various parents flap about in sandals and blankets feeding the two squalling kids. So I walk down in FREEZING rain, shoes thoroughly soaked, jacket soaked, hair and beard dripping. JJ is shocked to see me at 7:45 and puts on rolls to heat. I finish the rolls and salami and toast more bread and take yogurt, and he washes up and we go to the museum, finally open at 8:40, but not much to see. JJ looks at HIS Hawaiian Air schedule and sees a non-stop at 10:05. We leave at 8:55, get started OK, and roll down--hoping the gas will last. Ten miles down to Ranger Station is VERY cold and raining and we pass that OK, to encounter a learning driver ahead of us who FORCES us to go slow, putting past the purple trees that so attracted us on the way up. Ten more miles to 378 and turn onto 377, STILL very foggy and behind slow drivers. Ten miles of THAT and down to Pahala for $1 of gas, parking on slope. But it's 10:10 when we drive in (going around block), and I pack while JJ checks out, keeping his smile to himself when she subtracts 8080 and 7875 and says we went 100 miles for $6. He pays (she giving me new pen), I piss, and she dives us to airport in a JEEP that's sort of fun. She and JJ chat. Off and know we've missed Hawaiian air, so we try Aloha. Start day 2 at 8045 at 9:05, in at 10:10 at 8080. Quick to airport at 10:35 and get 10:50 Aloha flight to Oahu by 11:20, which leaves at 10:55 for twenty-minute flight, climbs and drops FAST, east Molokai is clouded, TRAVEL HAWAII - {P} {D}the west is covered with marshmallow cream. Waikiki heavily clouded by I like two ships in bay against Diamond Head so I take photo. Land crosswise of huge international strips and taxi for minutes through a real plane traffic jam. Out at 11:25 and get told that the Kauai flight is gate 46, just off our exit gate, and we're on in GOOD time! Not sold out at all, of course, contrary to what Maui agent said. 11:35 flight revs and moves at 11:38 as I order spicy tomato drink. Off at 11:40 past Pearl Harbor, then lots of blue until mountains of north Kauai at 12 and off plane at 12:05. Phone Beachboy at 12:10 and they say 15-20 minutes, but I write this at 12:40. Decide to have lunch out and go to Waimea first to leave north and Fern Grotto to possible second day. 12:50 arrival, cute Bob, and back to his office to pay insurance til 1:20, mileage at 50021, and leave for Puki for pineapple and stop at Puki Restaurant for FABULOUS Hawaiian plate for $3.50: bitter sour-yogurt poi, milky coconut milk and gelatin Houpia, pork-filled taro-leaves of Laulau, Chicken longrice with cellophane short (longrice) noodles, and a tangy salmon salad: JJ has tasty chili. I spill Dr. Pepper and buy another for 55 cents: $8.10 in all for a GREAT meal for two. Then off at 2 onto route 50, stopping at Hanapepe Canyon lookout, then a few detours around to 550 and I'm barreling up the 25 mph road at 30, car behind, cars passing on narrow road, and I slip off right shoulder a second and swerve back on to hear a hiss-hiss-hiss as tire rotates and it's FLAT on right front! AND oil goes out drip-drip-drip from center. Egad! Flag a car and get to 76 station at base of 550 at 3:10 and phone Bob. The truck just left, should be back in 15-20 minutes, then he'll be right out to pick me up. Friendly station people. I phone again at 3:30 to make sure he knows it's Kakaha Road and he says spare is IN camper, can Charlie's Station people change it? They WOULD but don't like the sound of the oil leak. He'll be out "soon." Still sitting in station at 3:55, poor JJ, I hope, getting the tan he wants. I sit in shade and try to conjure truck. Decide to do HAWAII summary for Amy and Adam and diary, giving *** to Hawaii Volcano Park and Chain of Craters Road, ** to Scenic Drive north of Hilo, but * for Parker Ranch Museum, but *** for Akaka Falls Park. Forget South Beach EXCEPT if you "collect" such geographical oddities, and UPPER road Kailua-Waimea better than LOWER road. Mauna Kea *** but watch altitude sickness. For ME, I've about FINISHED with Hawaii, can think of no good reason to return except for a major eruption. Maui pretty exhausted, too: Haleakala *** and Hana Road ***, while Iao Valley gets ** and I'm not sure whether some of the other roads are even worth trying, but I wouldn't mind spending a few more days nosing around there, especially if they finish paving BOTH circle-routes around the ends of the dumbbell. Oahu I even debate spending a WEEK in, staying at the Y, trying for some gay life, taking a Budget car and doing the tourist things of Polynesian Cultural Center and Pearl Harbor tour and going other tunnel and seeing the other museums. Kauai would have been nice for 3-4 days and now I've put it back to 1 1/2. He recommends nicest places to camp-stay, and Wailua and Fern Grotto beckon. Let's just hope Bob comes by pretty soon after 4:10 and CAN fix the oil leak and flat. Now I guess we'll stay in THIS end of the island tonight, since we'll hardly have time to get back around now. Hm, they remark about my taking notes and a guy who complained about the smoke from the local sugarcane burning says, "Don't worry, at least it hasn't snowed." The November 22, 1982, hurricane has still left some of the roads closed here. THEY were without power for a WEEK here (no water, no refrigeration!) but "in the hills" about 300 low-priority houses waited THREE MONTHS for power. Some GREAT bodies around: humpy chest struts around here with water jugs (small bumps in skin, but NICE tan and shape). Then there was the guy outside the Puki store, NICE 16-year-old bumpy-ripplies down the tanned front. Two sexy guys wanted our table at the restaurant then let us have it, then the normal line of sexy tourists with their gals, especially the possible-brothers in the Observatory this morning, NICE asses and legs in tight bluejeans, which I finally changed into today for double trousers on chilly mornings. But if I'd take advantage of NYC's sex, it would be more convenient. Now 4:15, 85 degrees which she says is unseasonably hot. She laughs and chats with me about writing. I GUESS Bob'll get me HERE, but feel (day 2 mileage 50084) vaguely guilty for not suffering as much as JJ, but then I think he LIKES to suffer, taking choices away from himself, never pushing, tolerating ME. Well, gotta go wait across the street. Decide to buy water and soda and beer, anyway, for JJ, COLD. 4:35 and waiting. 5:15: gas station closing. Wanna call again? I was just gonna ask if I could. Bob answers and says he sent "Ed and his wife and kids who live up there" in a yellow truck "30-35 minutes ago." GUY in station says it might be RADIATOR overflow (oil is BLACK or RED, not yellow green of COOLANT) and NOT oil leak! At 5:20 she's out again "I'll be still here tomorrow," I laugh. "Too bad you've lost so much time," she consoles. Finally at 5:45 I decide to go up, and Houston couple are taking the SAME trip. Just (this is written 6/25, since it wasn't done before!) as we start thinking of doing it ourselves, here comes a brownish truck and a cute guy changes our tire quickly, pestered by his kids, and refuses to take any of our cash. We drive in increasing dark to find Kokee Lodge closed, so we drive all the way BACK to town for dinner, stopping in Captain's Table (?) to a GREAT group of singers and ukulele-ists, decent enough food and beer, and we eat our fill and get BACK to the Waimea Canyon overlook about 10PM to really zonk out in sleep.

THURSDAY, MAY 19: Wake at 5:30 to shit in flushless public john, then see sun creep over canyon-rim, and JJ joins me. Back to car AND IT WON'T START! Ask the janitor, who talks about NESSO station, which turns into a NASA station when two people drive me there. The secretary-security guard calls her cousin and it's one of the singers from last night! I phone Bob and he says he should have told us it had to be FLOORED, then idled for about five minutes or it would flood and stall. Great! They drive me to JJ, and it starts after idling the required time. Look along the Canyon, then up to Kokee for good breakfast, to the end to Kalalau, where I take a picture of sexy guy "from crotch up", and clouds start filling in about noon. Back down, swing around through Puki and have another lunch at the great place, though all she has this time is chili---and I manage to pass up the poi and not spill the Dr. Pepper. Buy more fruit and some little groceries, then continue up around island, getting lost on the way to Molaa because he didn't say to turn RIGHT, and down to pleasant beach with wild horses on it! JJ swims and lies in sun and I get snorkel stuff out at last and poke around rocks, not much to see except fish, but one with a lavender spot on the long filmy tail is nice. Out feeling exhausted, shower a bit, and then back into car to wend our way down to Annini Beach, which is as nice as he said it was, and I watch the sunset and the crabs, then in for another fairly decent dinner, and we're getting into the hang of things. Again feared it might be pretty busy, but it wasn't, and it was another peaceful night except for the surprise rainstorm in the middle of the night that made it necessary to close the side windows or else all the curtains would get wet. My shoes didn't dry very well and refused to get rid of the sand they accumulated when I wore them while snorkeling. But at least it paid to carry them the whole way, just to use them that once. And this is the last place we have to sleep out, too, since I proposed to JJ that we stay another night and he said he wanted to get to Oahu tomorrow. Aloha! P.43: My HELP sign.

FRIDAY, May 20: Start driving day 3 at 50167 at 7:20. 1:30 to boat, 2:05 off boat, onto boat 2:35. End at 50222 miles. (This was filled in on "Mickey Mouse book.") Wake on beach but it's raining. Go piss at 5:45 but obviously there's no sunrise under clouds. Have banana bread and butter and last of watermelon and some beer (urp) for breakfast and we're driving west to Haena through rain and past lovely beaches, but none of them "green." Park at end at 8 and I want to wander cliff but JJ prefers to stay in car. I say "2-3 hours" and get out at 8:05. Some paved stones left from old Hawaiian trail and I debate jerking off, but don't. Great sexual fantasies of offering $10-1000 for exciting visitors to "the dirty old man of Kauai." Surf far below and I pass two guys who say they sank past their necks trying to cross the river, and people are TRAPPED on the other side! I continue to 9:05, and they shout across to tie rope lower. I first think I have to crawl out on tree, but I can creep along shore and untie rope and bounce life-saver across to them before tying it low on a dead sturdy palm. It starts raining and the guy just WON'T start over---trying and going back for another rope to tie somewhere. I finally leave at 10, passing four other couples and a couple of kids that I warn off raging river. They continue. It rains HARD for a bit and I'm SOAKED, not having brought jacket, but it's hardly COLD. Back almost damp at 11 and JJ wants to drive back, going slower because he says I came VERY close to hitting bridge abutment. Back along beaches and I see ad for "Create-a-Steak" and we stop at Shopping Center at 12:20. I phone Bob and he says I can come back BEFORE 4 or AFTER 6 since I lost hours with the tire-change and no-start, GREAT! Blue-eyed hump broils by beef ribs and JJ's sausage kebab FOR us and we have beer (JJ) and wine (me) to make it filling. Finish at 1:15 and down to Wailua for Smith's 1:30 ride to Fern Grotto for $7. We HATE sing-song narrative (river rather nice) and scrawny grotto (jungle going and coming rather nice) and hokum of "singers and dancers." Back on boat for trip back by 3PM and then, gas going, up to Wailua Falls to creep to VERY edge for only-possible shot of twin falls, then back to road and through Lihua and get to Bob's at 3:50, and he checks us out for 200 miles and charges $14.52 for everything and we pay and he drives us to airport just after 4. Mid-Pacific is full for 4:09 so we go to Aloha for 4:35 flight for standby and it leaves at 4:50 and lands at 5:09, smooth flight. Off and down to find that Budget and Dollar HAVE no compacts. Budget tells us of board and I see "No Smoking" Thrifty and we call and they say $18/day and they pick us up in five minutes and drive us to Ohihia Blvd. and we check into car about 6:10. Get onto Likelike after getting lost finding Kahili and driving around a bit, and then north into some rain and past more rich neighborhoods, very small tunnel, and to dim-lit other side to get a look at Chinaman's Hat in light and Crouching Lion and pass Inn before U-turning and coming back for nice building and good salad and he has Macadamia chicken and I have $10.95 teriyaki steak and mahimahi that they try to charge me $13.95 for until I catch them. Out about 8:30, he having coconut pie, me double-crust hot banana (+ 1/2 carafe rose---but I'm STILL not high) and we're back to Laniloa for $39 room for needed shower. Too tired to brush teeth.

SATURDAY, MAY 21: Wake at 5:30 but they sky's overcast and it rains on and off. I lay til 5:35, then decide to get up and write on porch. JJ's up and we shower and we're across to breakfast at 8; I have a soupy omelet with vegetables and he has french toast "for sample." Out about 9:15 and I'm over to brush my teeth and we pack and in drizzle get over to Polynesian Cultural Center at 9:50, but it's not open yet. Ask at hotel and they said we COULD have reserved a PACKAGE for the hotel AND Cultural Center, but the CENTER people say we must pay full $14 each. Pay it as all windows open at 10:03 exactly,and inside for the 10:15 welcoming Fia Fia by the chiefs, and JJ gets a nicely smelling lei of clover and sweet plumeria. Then we're lead to the music festival at 11, and I have a chance to phone Amy, TELLING her I'm coming tomorrow morning. In to GOOD show which JJ says should tell more about HISTORY and less about MODERN influences. Lots of nice bodies and thick Samoan calves, even on some white guys. Pleasant enough music and some sexy masculine dances. Out at 11:30 and onto tram around to Samoa, where a guy leads the rest of the group to his village and talks of fire-pit cooking and food gathering and headdress making and then launches into a rather bitter diatribe about "missionaries coming and telling us it was a sin to go naked and put clothes on us and now you tourists come to our clean islands and foul them with YOUR nudity. It's tough, it's tough," is heard over and over. To the Marquesa village and get told of warlike chiefs, and then to Tahiti to be taught the FAST hula: legs apart and knees knocking for men, heels together and knees forward and back for hip-sway for women, who peak hands above their leis while men put backs of hands on backs of hips. We leave tour and get to boats, and our poleman FALLS IN as he tries to vault to position. He laughs through the whole thing. We get tapa-making demo by a listless Fijian and walk around to the Laie tour at 1:30, past Brigham Young University and off at the temple where I take photos of photos of rooms inside, then take a brochure that has most of the photos. All a not-so-soft-sell for Mormonism, including a "mannequin" that has one of those face-films projected onto it. JJ talks of 1920's architecture and it was built in 1919. Back to grounds at 2:20 and watch palm-climbing and fire-starting, and then get a seat for long boats and some of the dancers are sexy and the "Royal Couples" are rather nice, including the Tongan imported from San Francisco who uses his word of greeting "Hi." Another poler falls in and then his station is slippery. Not as many sexy tourists as at Disneyland. Talk to 72-year-old woman on her fourth (and best) husband. That's over at 4 and we watch the coconut-milk splitter and hitter, and then we have some snacks (filling fish and chips for me) til 5 and figure that's about it. Leave via Haleiwa and see NOTHING there, so down OTHER highway to Pearl Harbor under sun on hills and get car back about 7:05, getting no extra charge. Oh, JJ and I cleaned up all finances this AM, and he ends up owing me about $150 at end. Our 12-day Hawaii costing about $2000, not as cheap as I'd thought. Ride to terminal in truck and get left off at restaurant to find from board that the 10:30 flight now "new time" leaves at 12:50AM! We're both yawning and tired (and I still feel NO neuroses about FLYING), so we just SIT and watch people pass, which is engrossing enough to distract us for awhile, even though there are mostly AWFUL people. JJ tends to like LARGER legs than I do. I wander through Japanese gardens and tell him to look at it, but he doesn't. We get to lower restaurant at 9:45 to find it's only serving drinks, then get upstairs to find the kitchen closes at 10! I order a Hawaiian drink with gin and cognac and Cointreau, but there's no hit from it for $4.75. We both get garlic scampi, filling on mushrooms and linguini. Tired conversation to 10:45 and down to possibly doze a bit, but I buy ear stopples for $1.75 that are ONLY foam, so they still let in the screaming kids, the complaining couples, the loud teenagers, the security-passed people who OBVIOUSLY aren't flying anywhere. And people come OFF planes looking pretty grubby, too. Finally it's midnight---another day.

SUNDAY, MAY 22: Lots of departures announced at midnight but NOT ours. Finally I persuade JJ to come to the gate at 12:15 and they announce we're leaving about 12:30, saying turnaround plane from Houston was late. Lots of people but AGAIN my seat NEXT to window has a no-show at WINDOW as we leave at 1:30. I have almost NO trepidation about flight and take off past lights of Honolulu looking like REVERSE LAVA down the hills of Diamond Head and beyond. Lights fall behind and sky is GENTLY lit from moon behind, but they demand shades down for "early dawn." Pass up snack at 2 and try to sleep on two seats, but it doesn't work, so I'm up for "My Favorite Year" which is VERY funny from 2 to 3:20, and by that time the sun's about up at 5:30 sky time and I doze some more and watch clouds, glad for announced flight time of four hours 30 minutes, not SIX hours at ALL. Half-time comes quick and I look out and we have juice at 8AM SF time and hills appear above clouds, and some of the Channel Islands too. Land just at 9:05 QUITE smoothly and out fast and lockers have been MOVED, but we find them and repack by 9:30 and he's up to gate and I'm ALMOST to cab but have only $50 and $20 bills and back to get $11 cash from him and to cab to tell him "Century Avenue" and he goes wrong way and has to RETURN for $6and we get across place to 101, at EDGE of road, and get keys to Amy's about 10:15, to find no notes at all. Unpack and decide to take her GQ and jerk off, going slow but flowing without touching first and then on trying for SECOND flow the jerks seem pretty final and I grab it and come the rest of the lovely way by about 11AM. Put laundry in (with lava), then have cereal and fat-free watery milk and bananas and brown sugar, but it doesn't feel filling. Try calling Dennis a few times and read New Yorker & National Geographics, feeling tired.Dry lava and clothes and everything's NICE. Get Dennis and talk awhile, then read more and try to watch their TV recorder, but no good, and watch regular stuff but TIRED. Shower and shave and clean teeth, too. Nap for a bit and someone calls for Amy and wakes me at 5. Read again and nap again and watch TV again and they call at 9:30 and say to come to La Choza. Into car and red is for left and I can GO. Miss Pico and U-turn, and long way on Olympia and U-turn for La Choza at 9:50, and they've ordered carne asado for me. Two beers and last of cheese fonduta and not really ENOUGH as we leave at 10:30. They really don't click with me or me with them. Home with Amy driving back way and talking of JJ and sex and LA. At 11 start watching "Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid," surprisingly effective with "old clips"---"cold lips?" I fall asleep during Vincent Price and Charles Laughton and turn BACK for them, finishing the 90-minute movie at 1AM and falling into bed, exhausted.

MONDAY, MAY 23: Amy "suggests" car rental (she's going to class and back at 11:30), so I "decide" on her Ugly Duckling (mileage 6205) idea and she takes me at 9:45 (I wake at 9 and UP at 9:20 as Adam leaves, so the day STARTS fast. Get their last AUTOMATIC at $8.55/day + $5 insurance waiver; + 8 cents/mile til Friday noon. Leave at 10:10 and go down to Lincoln and over to Santa Monica Freeway and east to Santa Ana freeway and to Harbor Drive and in for $1 parking at 10:55AM and buy $12 passport by 11AM and "Previews" are closed, so I buy a pen by 11:10 for 53 cents and then have good "Special omelet with ham and cheese" and bagel and cream cheese 11:15-11:55 for $3.95 and hot chocolate for 55 cents for bill of $4.72 and 50 cents tip. Back across for THIS notebook at 12 and reserve for 3:15 Kodak Revue at Frontierland at 12:05 and then to Adventureland at 12:05 (fast!) and on at 12:16 to Jungle Cruise, off at 12:25, and it's "busier" and "more things going on" than at Disney World. FAST into Pirates of the Caribbean at 12:30 and out at 12:50--great ride; burning buildings MUCH more than in DW. Directly to Haunted Mansion and go LEFT way past SOME people (pass a guy with a LOVELY chest, with a woman) and get in BEFORE 12:55. FAST! Great! Out at 1:05. Canoes closed "Try Mark Twain for trip." Follow signs to County Bear jamboree and get in with CROWD at 1:10. SOUNDS in Pirates and Haunted House not really well-directed and a ghost was "stuck"; out of his grave, not going back down. Kids terrified a lot, one almost demanding to leave the entry to the Haunted House. People looking at my writing and me looking at lots of legs in shorts and chests and arms in tight tee-shirts. Lots of people but it doesn't feel CROWDED. Starts at 1:15. Corny show to 1:30: LOUD kids and MOTHERS! 1:40 onto Big Thunder line, where I write about yesterday. On at 1:47 and off at 1:51, good. Fantasyland closed TOTALLY! Onto Bobsled line at 2:02. Lots of neat guys to watch as we stand in SHADE and hear Alpine music. Get directed to front of SECOND car at 2:12, not a bad wait at ALL. ON at 2:14 and OFF at 2:16---FAST and Yeti-filled, not like Space Mountain at ALL--this is in and out and FAST curves. CONFUSING to have ridden BOBSLEDS in TOMORROWLAND when they HAD been in Fantasyland before it closed. Onto Space Mountain line at 2:25 and almost NO waiting, run RIGHT in! Start ride at 2:28, in 12-passenger cars here, not 8-passenger cars as in DW. Entry hall MUCH more elaborate: on at 2:32 and off at 2:35. FASTEST, and DASH to next ride: Inner Space Microworld cars at 2:40. Onto People-Mover at 2:47 and off at 3:01, good. Onto TRAIN at 3:06 when Skyride looks too long. TRAIN ride from Tomorrowland to Main Street goes through longest diorama in the world (to 3:10) past MODERN Grand Canyon and DINOSAUR Grand Canyon, GREAT animals and lighting and music. Starting to wonder about flexibility of "must be there at 3:15 for 4PM Kodak show." Leave Main Street at 3:15. Walk along from quick train-stop to "show" at 3:20 and get right in, but it's really to serve sandwiches and beverages, a bit of a rip-off feeling. And when do I call Amy? They say I can leave, but Amy's not home by 3:35. Get popcorn for the third time today. Write about Saturday. Guy starts at 3:52, telling awful jokes. Then dancers and Sluefoot Sue and Pecos Bill and Mr. Meyer from 4 to 4:35, interesting enough. Try calling Amy but no answer, and across to Del Monte's "America Sings" to miss the FIRST grouping, but it spins and we get in. This starts at 4:51PM and is out at 5:10: obviously redone "World of Tomorrow" pavilion. Again no Amy-answer. Onto "Submarine" line at 5:18. Write. On at 5:46 and move quickly. Off at 5:57, about same ride: mermaids, ice, giant squid, anchored fish, Atlantis, and an unlogged sea serpent. Phone Amy at 6 and leave recorded message. 360-cinema is STILL 20 minutes wait so I'm onto Monorail line at 6:06, again having to wait a bit. Getting inward-facing seat on sub is better than out-facing, and SUNLIGHT over water-top is nicer, too. Into Monorail at 6:15. Off at 6:25, not very great ride; then find another 20-minute wait for 360, so I go through Inner Space again for 6:29-6:37, then go to the john, wash face, and in at 6:46. It's a 1967 film, which means it's pre-World Trade, and out at 7:07PM. Dash to car. Back JUST at 8.

TUESDAY, May 24: Wake at 8:30, up at 9:15 and look through Los Angeles book and get list of things to see. Have strawberry shake and get out at 10:15 to camera place at 10:35. Two not ready, and leave 7th and out at 10:45 and drive to Magic Mountain, off at 11:45. $2 parking. Looks GREAT! Mystic Lake just added for jet-ski show and fireworks. In with card for $12 at 11:55. Piss and walk long way around corner of park for Revolution, on line at 12:04. On THREE times: first in front, second in back, third NEXT to back by 12:30, befriending two guys and a black gal. Onto Roaring Rapids line at 12:33. On at 12:50, off at 12:55, NOT very wet. Eat VERY messy barbecue and large coke and brownie for $5.97 til 1:30. Nice little arboretum to 1:40. Jet Stream is log flume, NOT the best at 1:43,off at 1:49, but it had good FAST parts. Off the SECOND ride at 1:59, SEXY GUYS! Diving show 2PM to 2:15, good bodies. Off after first Freefall, FASTEST DOWN, at 2:23. Monorail closed. Cloudblasters are Dodgem, Crazy Barrels are Tiltawhirls, Circus Wheel is the Trabant. Onto Colossus line at 2:40. Start at 2:57, off after 2 minutes 45 seconds. Into COOL Coca-Cola Spirit of Olympics at 3:05 for 3:15 show, "Chariots of Fire" good theme playing. Show 3:12 to 3:32. Onto "To the Top Eagle's Flight" 3:36. On Freefall, you leave your MIND behind you. Off with pictures at 3:50. Four Winds Steakhouse closed for remodeling. Metro opens as I enter exit. Nice TALK with gal, on at 4. "Ride leader" quick in one year, 5-6 "major" rides: Revolution, Colossus, Rapids, Freefall, Jet Stream. Texas Instruments Computer Center "not open until summer." Logjammer IS working. Off Gold Rusher (only 4 ON) at 4:15. Only TWO chain-hills, not so great as three. Tower "closed due to high winds" on quite a calm day (the flag WAS blowing pretty straight out when she pointed to it, I must admit). Down in Funicular at 4:20, only 3 on. Onto Logjammer line 4:26. 4:33-4:38, one of the BETTER ones: LONG! Have cake and 7-Up staring at red-topped new-tanned pectorals, and find (they say) that the 5PM Water Ski show went on at 4:30! End up at Animal Chatter at 5:03-5:15. Onto tram to car at 5:18. Lost going home from Bradbury Building, back at 7:35, to Ma Maison,home at 12. $153.35 for good, not great, meal.

WEDNESDAY, MAY 25: Wake at 6:30 (just like Hawaii---because it's getting light?) and lay til 7:45, when Adam showers. Get in at 8:15 and Amy wakes and I put slides in carousel and we preview them. 10AM guy cancels so Amy naps 9:50-10:10 as I select final slides from four reels and then she does typically self-conscious (for me) Alexander session. I decide to PHONE Norton Simon and find it's ONLY open Thursday-Sunday 12-6! Replan and leave about 11:40 and get to film place at 12 to find one roll IS no good, so get two back, and have beef burrito (FULL of meat and cheese in HEAVY taco) and chili-cheese for $3.14. Onto route 405 at 12:35 and get to Universal at 1:05, paying $1.50 for parking and $10.50 admission! Tacky animal show 1:40-1:55 and wait for tram at 2:05 and get on at 2:32. Real ripoff! Through offices, Edith Head's reconstructed office, back lots of sets, prop building, Jaws head, flash flood, rain, other goodies (laser fight, covered rotating ice avalanche) til 4:15. Miss another show, around to Woody Woodpecker show at 4:40, AGAIN, I remember POLICE tee-shirted fellow: tall, left calf twenty inches around. YUM! Out of Woody, good, at 4:55 and phone Amy, saying I'll be there 7:30-8. Sorry I forgot the Magic Mountain $2 discount for this $12 ripoff---with Castle Dracula, the Torpedo Show, and the Collapsing Bridge closed down, there are gaps in the entertainment, with Conan not on yet. Black tarp over "Streets of Fire" for "Day for Night" filming. Six weeks ago, ET broke through $625 to reach first place, with 2) Star Wars, 3) Empire Strikes Back, 4) Jaws, 5) Raiders of the Lost Ark (music for ALL of which JOHN WILLIAMS wrote!!!), 6) Grease, 7) Exorcist, 8) Godfather I, 9) Superman I, 10) Sound of Music, 11) Sting, 12) Close Encounters, 13) GWTW. Most expensive was the 1963-1967 Russian War and Peace for $100 million, though Superman I AND II was $125 million. Have the note "6:10 to 6:40! NOT BAD!" that I can't identify. Mileage 80 at start of day, about 125 at end of day. Back at 7:30 and Adam's not home yet. I put in two rolls of slides and show most of them to Amy before Adam enters around 8 and looks at "enough to make him want to go." She and I have decided on fish and HE says "fish" as they cuddle on the sofa. He knows a place called Hodges for great ribs with a fish place next door, so we're there and I buy the slab of ribs for $12 and macaroni salad for $15 in all, and he pays the $5 and change for Amy's fish, and then we get to a 7-11 for beer and ice cream for my trying to pay with a $50 and the guy in FRONT of me trying to pay with a $50 that the cashier refuses because he's just had TWO of them! Drive back to their place (they don't want to see the pier) and eat while channel flicking through Mart Hartman and Johnny Carson and various other programs. Time passes to 12:30 and I pass out instantly in bed after brushing my teeth.

THURSDAY, MAY 26: Wake at 7:30 and again at 8:45 to hear them both around. Think of staying to jerk off after Amy leaves for coordinating and then she says I can't lock door so have to leave with her at 10AM. Have toasted raisin bread and cheese for a skimpy breakfast (reservations at Spago's for her and me at 10:30 tonight) while flicking TV again (7.7 earthquake in Japan last night that Amy says she "felt" and Adam seems inordinately amazed at) (Fantasyland opening today at Disneyland) (Richard Simmons bumping the air for TV) and Adam leaves and I do few utensils (started last night and Amy said I was sweet but she felt she had to do them) and we leave at 10:05. I phone again and they're open 10-4PM. Get $10 of gas (a problem with a $50 for change with their "instant-safe-deposit" boxes) and onto 10 and 405 and easy down to LONG drive at 11:10. Stand in line in muzzy smoggy 65 degree heat feeling warm on arms and prices are $6 EACH and $8 COMBINED, cheaper even with $1 parking that always seems such a ripoff. Naturally there is almost NO view yet NO hornblowing on the ubiquitous freeways, SO much faster than the more scenic STREETS that seem planned for red lights at EVERY corner, a REAL pain. Long Beach very industrial and oil-welly, different from other sections yet not really anything to LOOK at. Down to $97 cash. Get to window at 11:30. LONGER lines only at Universal Tour! Spruce Goose dedicated 1982 as museum. Good exhibits, but they take too long. Get into Goose-viewing line at 12:30. Really NOTHING about his life after 1948, age 43! In at 1, out at 1:10. Out of Engine Room at 1:45. Off at 2:30, QUITE rushed, seeing it ALL barely. Buy nachos for lunch and find Route 11 goes straighter than 405. Start at 2:45 and traffic that THREATENS to tie up runs smooth after only a slowdown and I put up at 630 Lucerne at 3:25. Walk in, look, then ring bell and Stan comes down and shows me the place til 3:45. Good Clearing in Consciousness #3 (I HAD it once before) over at 5:10. Drive to Santa Monica Pier and get absorbed in arcade games til 9:15. Great games and guys and body english, particularly from hip-forward gym-shorted bodybuilder. To Amy's and dress for Spago, getting there at 10:30 after getting lost and buying two Kir Royales for $12 and GOOD meal for $71 and two FABULOUS faces on people that the COOK tells me are MEN. Amy talks with fellow exerciser across the way and sweet husband (NOT cute, but SWEET). Home and bed at 1:30! Adam sleeping on floor "as he likes."

FRIDAY, MAY 27: Wake at 5:30 and lay leaden til 6:50. Shower and pack and out at 8:10, out of rental place at 8:35, to airport with lovely Elliott at 9 for only $17. Mileage at start was 06285, at end was 06603, for 318 miles. I did NOT give Amy a BODY session! Enter airport with $31.56 cash! $5 for subway leaves $26 for groceries through Tuesday! In May '83 Personal Computing: On-Line Data Bases: 1) Compuserve: Setup $50 includes 5 hours; $5/hour, 2 hr monthly minimum. 2) Source: Setup $100, $20/hr prime, $7.75/hr non-prime, and $5.75/hr economy. In law, medicine, farming, technical and processional journals in 40 languages, energy resources---over 600 files. Magazines are a COURSE EACH MONTH (FULL of data). June Personal Computing: Adventure Games. Pilot announces clear and interesting skies coming up. NYC has good weather with 60 degrees at 7AM. Board at 9.35 and at 10 told we're delayed 15 minutes because they have no slot for our landing in JFK! Finish to date, AGITATED again, but 10:15. WARM! Read May "Personal Computing" and "Venture." Start moving at 10:30. 4:43 flying time at 37,000 feet. Slide #24 is Dam of Lake Havasu? Land at 6:35, ENORMOUSLY relieved! Off plane at 6:45, fast! To luggage platform #1 at 6:50. Out to curb at 7:05. Onto bus at 7:20 for a LOVELY crotch! CLEAR skies! Amy: Read Isherwood "My Guru and His Disciple" about LUST! Onto TRAIN at 7:40. To Jay Street by 8:10. Still light and HOME!

NOTES FROM LATER IN BOOK: List from Amy's book on Sightseeing in LA: Route 11 may be called 110: Harbor Freeway going south, Pasadena Freeway going north.Bradbury Building (p.43), Bonaventure Hotel (p.40), "Dreamgirls" from newspaper, Gamble House (p.51), Watts Towers (p.83), Star homes (p.97), Universal Studios (p.239), Norton Simon Museum (p.210: Thu-Sun 12-6), Magic Mountain (p.231), Queen Mary and Spruce Goose (p.238), LA Zoo (p.242). Managed to see all of them except "Dreamgirls", Gamble House, Watts Towers, Star Homes, Norton Simon Museum, and LA Zoo.
List of things to tell Dennis: I'm gone another week, so phone these people:
1) John: YOU water HIS plants when he's gone; HE waters MINE otherwise.
2) Marge: my phone message will remain; tell people who call HER about it.
3) Carol Baker at Churchill-Livingstone: I'll be back a week later.
4) Marilyn Davis at HBJ: I've done lots already, no problem on delivery.
5) Actualism: Barbara Lea: tell Jon I'll be taking makeup withMara;COORDINATE!
6) Indexes: Lea & Febiger in June; Marge for me?; Raven WAY into June?
7) My calendar: check: if there are others, tell me (only Supplies Form redo).
8) Sunday Times once more, get my and John's mail. Thanks a lot!