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1989 1 of 4

My journal from 1989 is not as detailed or day-by-day as before; I just want to get the BASIC journal pages on the website. For missing days, I've included LIFELIST at the end of the year to supplement journal entries.

1/5/89: Top-Grossing films of 1988, with $$$ in millions:
1. Who Framed Roger Rabbit (cost $45) $150
2. Coming to America(MurphTOPCOP86&87 128
3. Big 111
4. Crocodile Dundee II 100
5* Die Hard 79
6. Cocktail 77
7* Beetlejuice 75
8. Fish Called Wanda 60
9* Willow 55
10*Rambo III [* = Video out] 50

FLORIDA TRIP, January 7-20, 1989

Took notes before I left: took $457.17 in cash, but didn't check when I got back. Took 19 pounds of luggage, didn't bring back much more. Checked AMTRAK versus Greyhound/Continental and AMTRAK was faster, cheaper, and "more elegant." But travel agent told me I couldn't cancel advance-reservation plane ticket even though it WAS bought in a credit-card cancelable format. Noted that I was to meet Spartacus at the General Car Rental booth at the Orlando Airport, on 7011 McCoy Road, after his TWA flight 401 arrival at 1:50PM. His car-rental confirmation number was V82002. I change train reservation from round-trip Orlando to return from Boca Raton's nearest station (5 miles south, at Deerfield Beach) when I found it was 180 miles and we'd save nothing by dropping the car off at the SAME place. Then took notes from "OLD NOTEBOOK" travel pages 3-10 for the 12/15-12/21 1982 previous trip, which was $69/day, and $121 for car for week, and $51/2 Italian dinner. EPCOT was Wednesday 4:30-9:45, dining on Food turntable; Thursday 10-10, dining in Mexico and lunching in France; Friday was Disneyworld 9-6 and Epcot 6:50-10:30 with dinner in Italy; and Saturday was 9-10:30, dining in France, for a total of 34 1/2 hours, or three full days. I summed up the trip: Spaceship Earth 3 times, Universe of Energy was INCREDIBLE, GM was good, Kodak 3D film was great; Germany, Italy, and US were poor; China film was good twice; France movie was the best twice; Britain was OK; Canada had good film; Japan was closed; "Symposium" was good in Land, and Mexico "River of Time" was good. I note that NEW from Spartacus's guide was Living Seas, Horizons, Captain EO, Norway, Morocco, Chinese Restaurants, and Movie Ride (which last turned out NOT to be).INSIDE FRONT COVER: I owe Spartacus $149 (lacking car); he owes me $197.

SATURDAY, JANUARY 7: HAD thought to be in bed by 12, but packed and thought and packed and arranged and got into bed at 12:30, setting alarm for 7:30--- only 7 hours sleep ALREADY. Can't sleep. Add things to packing list at 1AM (felt it was later). 1:15AM, still awake and tossing. 1:30, then sleep. Wake with a jolt (after fragments of benign dreams) at 6:30 and get to john at 6:50. Pack and pack and breakfast and take pills. Count money and weigh luggage (19#) and check off final items by 8:10AM. Subway at 8:20, not THAT cold, but snow-covered sidewalks at 38 degrees. Train #5 comes at 8:25, to Penn Station at 8:40, "tracks announced 10-15 minutes before departure." 9AM "all reserved" train to DC announced at 12 or 9. Write this to 8:51, content. All stuff in bag except full blazer pockets. Ready for anything. Announce "east track 12" at 8:58 and mill and turn back and down and get right single seat with PERFECT window at my command. No smoking, he says, and we pull out at 9:15, car about half filled, MOST people going to Orlando! 35 degrees and gray in Philadelphia at 11AM. First guy behind played radio for his mom, then "the composer" played the same rhythmic chords again and again. So THIS is Amtrak! Announcements unheard through earplugs. Lots of people on at Philadelphia. Guy behind put on Peewee Herman. Others play cards. I start reading Vonnegut. Rivers frozen solid. Train whirls through a self-made snow-tunnel. I tell them behind that their TV on Catalytic Converters is coming through my earplugs and they turn it off. Wilmington at 11:35, MORE people on. Does Ned Smyth have a "village" monument in Wilmington? Baltimore at 12:30 to "receive more passengers." Lights OUT 1:15 to 1:45 in DC, and I go into HUGE BRIGHT NEW Union Station with Xmas and skulls and butterflies and impala hide in East Hall shops, great promenades and spiral staircases, and SMOKE filling low-ceilinged annex from basement cafeteria. VERY crowded on Saturday, too. Walk 6-7 cars, get floor-cleaner to open "out only" door I exited and out at 1:45 AS lights click on, due to leave at 1:51, he told me. Chili and salad and GOOD pecan pie and 1/4 wine for $2 for $7.50 total. CUTE guys pace! Finish lunch at 2:15 as we take off and I get a partner at 2:30. Snow GONE south of DC, without MUCH transition: small scatter south of DC. 4:10 into Richmond, SAYING they'll try to get lights and circulation in this car! They never do. It gets dark about 6 and I read "Bluebeard" until 8:35 and I have $9.75 beef dinner with beer in SECOND dining car. Back to lights OUT at 9:55! Lay and lay and look and look.

SUNDAY, JANUARY 8: About 1AM there are STARS. Light above is annoying, as is light from outside (no one pulls curtains), as we stop for long periods. Doze and wake, ass sore, changing positions. Some few sexy bodies pass. Fog in AM. Start looking outside at pelicans and fog and Clyde Beatty Circus in Deland at 7:42; we're obviously late. Lights on at 6:55, off for 9 hours. Finish "Bluebeard." Write this to 7:46AM. Off at Winter Park at 8:25, hoping, and Midge is NOT there. Page Orlando, nothing, nothing. Phone at 8:35 and 9, page again at 9, nothing. Start reading Updike's "Trust Me." 9:10 I get her home! She picks me up, fairly annoyed, and she says _I_ take her car for Spartacus in PM. To her place for cereal and toast and juice for breakfast, papers, and lots of talk to turkey sandwich lunch at 1:30 and leave at 1:50 to go EAST then west on I-4, to General Car Rental at 2:40, Spartacus there for five minutes. Get little red car and lead him back, first wrong way to Longwood, then wrong turn to Springs. They get along fine, the drinks start at 4:10, wine and oyster crackers and cheese pieces to Omaha steaks at 7 and tomatoes and glorious asparagus in hollandaise sauce (which I goof and call butter!) and fabulous grapes for dessert, followed by brandied fruit and ice cream, and talk to Chuck Linker (who we're to meet at 11AM tomorrow) and bed at 12:30, TIRED.

MONDAY, JANUARY 9: Wake at 7:15 and up at 7:30 to shit and write two dreams: 1) directing a PLAY that's going WELL with 6-7 people who KNOW directions, now getting final instructions, and 2) humpy guy who smilingly leaves his flaccid huge cock in my HANDS as he say we better move to another room for sex! Shower at 7:45 and breakfast and leave at 9:30. To Comfort Inn and to Contemporary Hotel at 11. Meet Chuck, Monorail to Victoria and Albert $80 menu at Grand Floridian at 11:30, then to MGM/Disney preview at 12, and Flight to Mars at 1 (disappointed that Space Mountain is CLOSED). American Journeys at 1:10. Onto Skyway line at 1:35. On at 1:55. Lunch 2 to 2:30 on hamburger. Magic Journeys 3D movie at 3PM, after 2:50PM "Working for Peanuts" 3D cartoon. Onto "20,000 Leagues" line at 3:20, on at 3:35. Out at 3:50. Haunted Castle 4:10, out at 4:20. Onto Mountain Railroad at 4:25. On at 4:40, about four minute GOOD ride. To Pirates of Caribbean at 4:48 and walk RIGHT in, out at 5! Onto Jungle Cruise line at 5, out at 5:25. To Monorail to EPCOT at 5:35, out at 5:59, onto Spaceship Earth at 6:03!! GREAT!! Out at 6:20, reserve for 8:30 dinner in China, and into World of Energy at 6:40 for PARTLY remembered slides/movie show and into "vehicle" at 6:45. Out at 7:15! Horizons is INSTANT. World of Motion at 7:40-7:55. Walk to China by 8:10 and eat $54.12 dinner (interrupted by IllumiNations from 9-9:15, GOOD music and lights), and out at 9:30 to BOAT back to Monorail at 10. Wait til 10:15 with screaming babies, but next Monorail comes quick and we get to car at 11. Bed 12:45.

TUESDAY, JANUARY 10: Wake at 5:30 with dreams 1) I'm teaching kids English by dipping into dictionary and taking word 1, followed by next two words. Usually GET a noun, verb, and adjective. Single sentences, then add two more words and get better choices. 2) ONE word is PRISON and NEXT dream's a fantasy of springing kids from prison: teaching them and getting their gratitude and perhaps love. Not sexy, but very pleasant. To john to shit and write and back to bed at 5:40. At 7:20 ANOTHER soap-opera dream: 3) I'm at a party and someone comes up behind me and feels my back, then ALL over my head and face, and THEN he tries to FUCK me with a hard pointy erection and I shout "NO." Then he drives me "to end of island, where kids run wild" and tells me of his house "in middle, where I can get to either end in just two hours," and tries to impress me. 4) Short calculating woman tries to get money out of me so she can "support my apartment" with the new owner, a fat lazy woman who looks like a sickly Carolyn Quinn. I refuse to pay money and she gets ugly, then a woman friend, someone like Susan, pokes her in the belly and says "What about the baby?" "WHAT baby?" defensively. "YOU know." "Well, if anyone LIKES me, they like me for what I AM, and that's what I AM," she says bravely, and I wake still full from Chinese dinner ten hours ago. Breakfast. Onto longish ticket line and in at 10AM. Into Living Seas 10:01 and out at 11:30! Into Land, with"Symbiosis" to 12. Out at 12:10. Off Imagination ride at 12:55. Take bus to Mexico for snacks, then to River of Imagination, out at 2:40. Onto Norway Maelstrom line. Off boat---GOOD---at 2:55. LOUD movie, out of Norway at 3:13. Glimpse of Chinese dragon performance at 3:20. Into China film at 3:25. VERY tired, WEARY! To bus to France, and we go through shops until 4:35 film. Spartacus SLEEPS through it, which BUGS me! Out at 5:20, to boat, but it's not coming, so to Morocco and to boat at 5:35. I'm out to car, around circles, pay NOTHING to Grand Floridian. Change and wash, and get PRETENTIOUS service at "Victoria and Albert" that Mark, the Maitre d', confesses is "show." Salmon, lobster/scallops appetizer with veal farci main course, salad, stilton and pear and port, and chocolate souffle. Out at 8PM for $91, back to Epcot at 8:30, and back RIGHT UP Spaceship Earth to a soused, delighted 8:45, and wander up to see IllumiNations and meet Spartacus! Watch GREAT show, out in CROWD to see Spaceship Earth as rotating laser-earth til 9:30, beamed from USA Pavilion! To car, he drives back, and I wash and clean and get to bed at 10:45, talking at "forgoing" (?) him, looking at tomorrow, and earplugs in at 11:02.

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 11: Wake at 7:45, and shower and get to read "Trust Me" by 8:30. Spartacus is STILL in bed. Breakfast 9-9:45! Into Epcot at 10:05, to Journey to Imagination at 10:10-10:25, Captain EO 10:30-10:50, but it's not that good nor is it (from the side) that convincing a production in 3D. To Communicore West at 10:55, playing "Taxi to the Stadium", taking "Energy Survey Opinions" to 11:10. Leave Energy at 11:15. To Unisys to build flags, fill jets, identify pavilions (and win the quickest time!) to 11:35. Design roller coaster to 11:40, FUN. Play "Smart One" robot-quiz and it BLUNDERS to 11:45. To Futurcom, ONLY exhibit in Communicore West? Geography to 11:50 on the "Intelligent Network." Then "Reorganize your Face," and memorize bits and play "Four Balls in a Row," and treasure ship game, and others before "top-spinning automated arms" show and walk to French kiosk to meet Spartacus at 2 (he'd gone to "Symbiosis" again and "Kitchen Kabaret" before and USA after), and go to Morocco 2:15-3:10 for brochette and meshoui and tea and hot chocolate and bellydancer, all not so great. Out to France for no-movie start, to England for a play, to "O Canada," and LOTS of shops to 6:05 to walk right into Captain EO. In Germany you couldn't have ONLY beer in the Biergarten, only in a small outside space. Spartacus got into shop-looking, like the German "bookshop" with only two books and lots of junk. Shop large Pringles, Canadian Trading Post, and others to 6:50. Walk to Norway and RIGHT INTO Maelstrom from 7:09 to 7:21; try restaurant early, no chance; to Chinese shop to 7:40. Seated in Norway at 7:50. Good buffet dinner (with $5.50 half-carafe of red wine) to 9PM. Out for still-great fireworks, sit til 9:30, watching people pass, and out and to hotel by 10:04. Wash and bed at 10:30 to read. To sleep at 11:10PM.

THURSDAY, JANUARY 12. Wake at 5 to shit. Then at 8:30 to lay to 8:50. Shower and pack and get to breakfast at 9:40. To Boardwalk and Baseball at 11, see "The Eternal Game" to 11:30. Paratrooper SLOW and tame. Hurricane 2x: the back is the best ride, the front the best view. Lippizzaner horses from 12-12:25, then GOOD LONG DOUBLE Flume with Spartacus to 12:35. Then "Double O" (Lightning Loops). OK, but it's TOO fast to experience. 1001 Nights (the table that rotates like a huge ferris wheel) is closed: "Needs a mechanic; won't go all the way around." So I go on the Enterprise at 12:49, getting slightly nauseous. To IMAX for "Speed" 1-1:30, lunch on Salerno Express, then Pirate Ship does me in and we leave at 3:20PM. Really tired, so I nap in car (which reclines nicely) on way back to 4:30. Refreshing vodka tonics wake me up and we talk and laugh before dressing by 7PM to go to elegant Maison et Jardin for DOLL of waiter (like Todd Baron of "Style") and vodka gimlets with Midge, and bottle of Merlot with Spartacus and adequate venison and pheasant (which is toughish) and chicken and HEAVY cream mushroom soup to start, and sharing two good cakes and an ORDER of raspberries to 10PM. Home EXHAUSTED and bed about 10:30, Spartacus staying awake to watch TV as he's done many of these nights, making up for his sleep during the best exhibits during the daytime!

FRIDAY, JANUARY 13: I'm up at 9 to shower, and Midge says Spartacus MUST be ready by 9:45 to go with her for haircut for him to see the mall. He is just in time and I read papers and they're back at 10:55. They talk while I look through Polly's gift of National Geographic "China" and they talk and we're out at 12:45 to the Bubble Room, for which we wait a bit in junk and toys of earlier era, and get served by "scouts" in wacky hats. Have GOOD sausages in Three Little Pigs and Midge has salad and gimlet and we just have water and ENORMOUS Clark-bar ice-cream pie that we must finish and chocolate cake that Spartacus wheelbarrows home in a bag. Out at 3 to Winterhaven's Canal Tour, but 3:30 tour waits til 4:10. Loud motor and nice canals connecting three lakes and anhingas and coots and cormorants and scullers and few swimmers and boaters and a waterskier. Out by 5 in traffic and I drive slowly home by 6 to look over darkening Springs' springs and home to look at news and papers and out about 7:30 to the Wekiva Camp for Midge's shrimp cocktail and fried zucchini and my gatortail (tough! and pork/fishy) and good chicken wings and ONE catfish nuggets that fill us up without desserts. Back about 10 and fall into bed, Spartacus again staying up to watch TV.

SATURDAY, JANUARY 14: Up about 8 and breakfast on cereal ONLY and pack and hope to leave early but finally out at 10AM to go down to Beeline and across to coast and get lost few times and turn back to South Patrick Road and to Rita's at 11:40, Denny taking TV pictures and Paul well-mannered and Mom behaving! Get to video games of Dark Castle, Pinball, and great Shanghai-matching Mahjongg tiles, and out to pick huge bag of oranges and grapefruit to laughs and filming and lunch at 2:15 of toasted Velveeta sandwiches and great Denny's aunt's pickled yellow peppers for topping, and lots and lots of orange juice. Play another Shanghai and they search their TV tapes for Christmas and the Turtle Cowpie races in Canada as two kids (one a doll!) come over and Rita shows me Macpaint, impressive even on black and white TV, and Denny is making battery DISCHARGERS, so they can be effectively RECHARGED, and his GREAT idea for Practical Pursuit that Spartacus and I agree should be QUERIED to Milton Bradley. Denny seems sad. Spartacus back at 6:05 and we all dress and leave by 6:40 for Phoenix, great place with fun waiters and my kir is only pre-drink and get bottle of Chandon Blanc de Noirs for $25 and good mushroom soup and everyone gets veal or lamb medaillons but my sweetbreads, all quite good, but LONG waits and wine by the glass is OK and desserts slow in coming and bill is $92 for Mom for meals and $50 from me for drinks and tip (they take my "20" for "20%" and I pay $26!). Out after 10 and Spartacus calls Gladys and Neal and says we'll be about 1AM, leave key, and Denny begs us to stay and we drive away and I say we can get motel, but Spartacus feels like driving and we pass lighted towns and dark-to-lit highways and 65 mph traffic and get to elegant Boca Pointe at 1:20AM and they're AWAKE! We toddle up to bed and sleep at 2AM.

SUNDAY, JANUARY 15: Up at 9:30 and Spartacus is DOWN already, and comes up to say we're WALKING before repairman comes (for window they figure the alarm people broke into, taking only one of her rings, the night before the alarm worked) at 11AM. Out at 10:10 with drying hair and "I byte" shirt and walk "villages" and hear about Vieille Maison and fish buffet at Country Club and Art Deco in Miami and their friends and memories. Back at 11 to find she's forgotten her KEY! To neighbors to call Neal at tennis (we didn't have our car keys), and he storms over and leaves key and we're onto back porch for Sunday Times and toasted bagels and cream cheese and butter and peach jam to 12, and we're into car for Spartacus to drive down to Miami to 1:40 to Ross Museum for $2 admission that we avoid by walking from 22nd Street to 960 Ocean for what we think is 2PM lecture and only JAZZ duet. GREAT bodies on Ocean and streets and we take WALKING tour with good historical Richard to 3:50 and then minitram tour through wider section (and crotch-grabbing honkies) and lots of hotels and deco decorations and more bodies and off tram at 5:30 and walk up Ocean and beach to car at 6 and down through Causeway-blocked traffic and lovely-color sunset to Joe's Stone Crab for 2-3 hour wait! Avoid Miami and drive up colorful A1A through new condos and old hotels and private homes and beach areas and Bal Harbor Mall at 7PM for Cafe Ambiance for good $21.95 filet mignons and glass of red wine & mushroom soup & carrot cake and cute/beautiful newlyweds and out at 8:45 up to I95 and back to Boca quickly at 9:30 to chat and they start watching TV in series and I'd phoned Dolphins Plus to leave message and Shirley is going with us IF we can go, and I do anagram puzzle to 11 and read magazines, and Spartacus is NOT up and I'm to bed at 11:30, tired and vaguely dreading rest of trip. I'm glad NOT to be flying, that's SURE!!

MONDAY, JANUARY 16: Wake at 2AM and piss, then at 8:05 and shit and shower and catch up to DATE with this (from THURSDAY---FIVE days!) at 8:50, Spartacus waking and going back to sleep in light. I get dressed and go down at 8:55. They GOT a call: THREE today or two tomorrow. Arnie (they prefer this) AGAIN refuses so I say two at 3:30 tomorrow. Shirley's line is busy. Breakfast of Gladys's cooked cereal and lots of juice, then read Campbell's book as she washes a white then a blue load with EVERYTHING and my shirts and pants come out fine. She's born 11AM 3/30/33!! Has moon in Gemini for three years off. Talk of Glastonbury and the "West" of England and tours and China photos and music and places. She unpacks her books and we talk and at 1PM I say "lunch" and she gets out turkey and Arnie toasts rolls for me and she squeezes MY grapefruit juice and starts to put away a two-quart container that she DROPS and shatters on the kitchen tiles. We wipe and pick up and mop and dry. I phone Chauveron and get two reserved for 7:30 TONIGHT and then La Vieille Maison for myself for 9:30 on Wednesday. She WILL take me to train station BEFORE 6PM on Thursday; we must be PACKED by 9AM Thursday so maid can CLEAN all. Talk MORE and leave at 2PM for A1A south to GREAT Fort Lauderdale beach and cute bodies AGAIN, and then to the end of I95 to Coral Gables' "Miracle Mile" and drive to 8th Street for Supermarket Espresso for Arnie and then north (leaving by an exit that's closed one hour later by the riots in Miami that day) to Bay Harbor to Chauveron JUST at 7:30PM, putting on jackets and having Vol au Vent au Riz de Veau with Truffles for $12.50, sweet onion soup for $5, and split Duck Bigarade for $46, good but NO MORE, and Chauveron Souffle of Grand Marnier and CHESTNUTS for $12, and $15 for DECENT Alexis Lichine House Red, for $119 total, which I GIVE to Arnie but really can't SAY yet. Out at 9:15 and drive north in traffic to house at 10:15 and brush teeth and catch up with this to 10:55; they go to bed and Arnie is down to watch TV, and she DID look in to see me in shorts on bed, GLAD I'd not YET put up spread to black out sun from not-totally-blinded windows, feeling good ANOTHER day is over: 4 left!

TUESDAY, JANUARY 17: 5AM: Dream of Limbo---sort of cut-rate heaven: people standing around, vaguely clean, vaguely dead, staring at bugs on stick, selling pieces of paper, trying to be happy, and I go to visit someone like Gladys who says anyone who's interested in HER would say they're coming to see her at 2PM, not "sometime in afternoon," as I did, but of course I'm DIFFERENT because I had things to DO in town and didn't know EXACTLY when subway would get over to her place. Everyone seems ALIVE, but only barely---sort of a MENTAL graveyard before or after a PHYSICAL one. Like Florida?? Piss and write this to 5:06AM. Shit at 7:30 and write THESE dreams: 1) Interviewing a guy, not looking at him, and I become aware he wants to say something VERY personal, and I fantasize he's in love with me. 2) Doing bodywork on Bernice Cousins, and she slowly walks upstairs to the third floor, then takes off to Ladies Room without TELLING me. I go to look and find new agencies taking over third-floor Men's Room, so there's only the Men's Rooms on 1 and 5, when it had started with Men's Rooms on EACH of the five floors! Also, office doors have plaques reading 1988, 1989, 1990, 1991, with "percentage complete" that department is each year, either really or in projection, and I wonder about accuracy of projections. Down in empty rooms to microwave bagel, slice and toast it, butter and olive cream cheese it, while reading New Yorker and drinking fresh orange juice. Neal comes in and we chat and Gladys enters at 9:10 and Shirley and Joan scream in at 9:20 and Shirley's AWFUL. Can't swim, can't snorkel,scared stiff, but wants to go. Arnie down and breakfasts and talks and window man comes and we chat about Ngorongoro and we're off at 10 to go south on I-95 to Miami at 11:10 to find Joe's opens at 11:30. Up Ocean Drive and Arnie makes up Art Deco tour for Shirley and I crawl walls. Into Joe's at 11:55 and three JUMBO crab legs for $30 and I pack remains of mine and LOVE fish (red snapper?) but not clams and crabs and scallops. Key lime pie and ice cream eclair and cake slow (not in that order), and coffee and out at 1:10. South through town (blazing with cop-killers and riots through day that we DON'T see!) and onto A1A and Route 1 through trash to Homestead and then NOTHING to Key Largo to mile 100 and to Dolphins Plus at 3:05! Find we can't ENTER til 3:15, and 9, 11, 1ish, and 4ish are the four sessions for the day. Junky place and Sugar the Sea Lion and two pairs of dolphins in front and 8 in back (= 13, he laughs) and LONG boring orientation by Jeff-Daniels-like Terry til 4:50! Then to four girls in back (yeah!) and into salty sandy sun-lacking water (boo) for mediocre time seeing and not touching til 5:30, out and shower (and guy's coral-raked back and no-see-um bites) and out at 6 to get gas and home on DARK Florida Turnpike at 8:15 and in to 2377 code and out to check corners for Shirley- recommended places and end at Olive Gardens at 9:30 for OK Italian dinner and good 1/2 carafe burgundy for $3 and out at 11:10 to find them AWAKE and I have NICE talk with Gladys about travel and brush teeth and catch up with this after glass of orange juice at 12:20 and to sleep VERY tired, Arnie promising to shut bathroom door later, having it open for circulation & closing it against light.

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 18: 6:35AM to john (door open) (with STIFF hardon) with VISA card dream: Mr. Lemmee is explaining that only seven card-digits need to be checked: three for originating office (about digit numbers 6-8), three for personal ID (about numbers 10-12), and the billing office code (about #14). I write this data at the top of my "record," which looks like an Actualism receipt, for future reference. I think I'd better get a new card since all "correct" impressions are VERY light, even unreadable, on two digits, about #9 and #13, really UNNEEDED, but where "binding on billing machines must have exerted extra pressure to wear them down." [I now figure 26 pages in 11 days = 2 1/2 pages per day, 3 days left, +8, ONLY takes me to page 34 or 35 of my 40 pre-marked pages.] Until 7:25 my mind races in fugue: 1) Actualism classes coming up. 2) Smoke grass with Carr to get SENSUAL with him. 3) Check Sherryl's computer for index programs. 4) Check 8" vs 5 3/4" vs 3 1/2" disk conversions/diskette-slots. 5) Slide-talks recorded on videotape. 6) Page-type converters for ALL my writing. 7) Buy MICROFILM of Beynon Harris and Alan Watts' last two books on want-list. 8) Record-list as "MY" list of records 9) Reel-to-reel list as "MY" list of music.10) ALL lists onto Optical Character Reader/VHS/Uniform Format.11) Get ALL my "books" printed in "ONE" format.12) Keep writing, keep PERMANENTIZING! And I'm COMFORTABLE with "Boca Wednesday; Train Thursday, NYC Friday," still GLAD not to be flying, but EAGER to return to NYC! Record THIS page by 7:30, satisfied. Laze til 8, shower, and down at 8:30 for Neal and papers and breakfast and Gladys. Wait and look through "Wonders of Man" series and leave about 9:30 for drive along Atlantic north, around Palm Beach Peninsula, over and over Intercoastal Waterway, and eat in Christopher's from 12:30-1:15 and go to Norton Art Institute at 1:20. Photo #12 "Acteon" by Paul Manship. Leave Norton at 2:30 and drive to Flagler Mansion, starting with "plain" Rambler railcar. Tour starts 2:40. #13-16 at Flagler---marble giant. #17 Music Room. More BUILDING seen than I remembered, but nothing SPECIAL except fauns open- mouthed at Diana. Out at 4 and drive south along tacky route 1, getting in at 5:20 in time for Spartacus to leave with Gladys and Neal at 5:45 for the club for his dinner and their bridge game. I'd wondered if I'd be tempted to a quick jerk-off before he got back, which would disappoint me, but they seemed to agree that I'd watch "A Very British Coup" on TV that would "just work out" in time. Wash and change for dinner and start watching at 6. Good. Spartacus comes in at 7 JUST where he wanted to start Part II, and I see end as triumph of power OVER the people. He later calls the shadows "tanks," which goes too far. It's over at 8:40 and I'm out to La Veielle Maison at 9:05. Park not knowing the valet was waiting and I'm instantly to nice corner table set for two. They bring out the SWEETEST DARKEST kir EVER, and a lovely smoked salmon mousse and round toasted breads. Select $9.50 appetizers and $24 entrees and $6 cheese tray and $8 dessert and "free" salad on the $44 fixed-price dinner! FABULOUS raw beef filets marinated in (can't taste it) soy and over snappy tiny green beans and under sliced mushrooms and brown sauce on too-tart purple lettuce. COULD have chosen MANY of each course. Good appetizing selections. Then comes the half-duck Cyrille, leg as confit on SWEET red onions, breast sliced in strong duck sauce and garlic and tender turnips, carrots, and peapods. The glass of red Bordeaux is AWFULLY dry and tart, but it's the only one they have. Finish neatly and ask for port with the Stilton, Explorateur, and Chaume cheeses, and with a whole pear and good port (only $4.50) and lots of bread and butter I'm really filling up. Have them take salad away after I sample an acidic-dressed lettuce-leaf. Decaf with lemon souffle, recommended by next table, and a HUGE portion comes out, REAL souffle, and I can HARDLY get through HALF with good raspberry sauce. Waiters are affable, place is great, whole thing $69 and change. Leave at 11 and back at 11:20 to crow about it to everyone in kitchen. Up still groaning from too much food, and I didn't even FINISH dessert! Brush sensitive teeth and get into bed last time JUST at midnight. Fall RIGHT to sleep, leaving pensive thinking til the morning.

THURSDAY, JANUARY 19: 4:35AM jolt awake from dream with acid-covered burp into left nasal passage. Dream 1) climax of some production is a waterfall (last night's Boca Pointe waterfalls at Palomar entrance?) flowing over a stage-set of a placid slope down to an efficient gutter at the footlights. 2) I'm watching an acrobat below me balance a LOG on his forehead, and I look DIRECTLY down at him. Then he climbs to my balcony and swings across to a cohort on a trapeze, hooks on his own two foot-connectors, and swings by his heels from there, just grazing the floor. 3) Fragment from BEFORE of TINY MEN (34 cleaners of Nara Buddha from the Norton---they WERE about that size!) in BIZARRE dream: they dipped their cocks into grease that solidified around them like candles, then tried to run a race. These one millimeter-tall men in the race were then STEPPED on by me like honey-filled ANTS under my ridged SNEAKERS, which were then held up to an unsuspecting onlooker who was asked, "What's THAT?" only I get a shock when someone like Gladys Blackmarr RECOGNIZES all those fatty white spots AS the cock-casings of tiny racing men! WEIRDEST dream in AGES. I pee and back to bed at 4:45. Wake again to shit at 7:30 and out of bed at 8:05 after idly fretting for 35 minutes. Shower and take dop kit out and frighten naked Spartacus by walking back in for toothbrushes. Pack and sort papers and compare VISA receipts (inside front cover of this notebook) and down at 9:25 to put stuff in closet as cleaning girl cleans upstairs, two men pull off and reglue wallpaper in kitchen, and no one answers local Amtrak and the 800-number is in Chicago and can't tell us how to get from here to the station. Gladys volunteers juice and muffins for breakfast and we three men eat and then Spartacus jokes, "Will you fly back with me if I tell you Shirley's coming over at 10?" Then she DOES!! He leaves at 10:15; "girls" leave at 10:30 as I sit and continue on the long list of "Wonders of Man" books on the shelf. Then Neal leaves for tennis and Gladys chats over papers and shoves me out onto porch as cleaning comes downstairs. I use downstairs john. SHE leaves at 2:30 and I finish books: Newsweek-published "Wonders of Man" Series. Machu Picchu page 86 remarks: "Chan-Chan...may have ranked as one of the world's largest cities in its day---as large as 15th-Century Paris or Milan." "Lima's Larco full of pornographic Chimu pots." Looked at Colosseum, Tower of London, Forbidden City, Teotihuacan, Hagia Sophia, Machu Picchu, Florence, Mecca, Chateaux of Loire, Dome of the Rock, Kremlin, Notre Dame de Paris, Taj Mahal, Vienna, and Versailles. I change into winter clothes and Neal returns at 4:05, saying nothing. At 4:30 he's downstairs and I say I'll call taxi and he says he was just about to take me. Station really IS at tracks on Hillsboro Drive, so I thank him and set bags down on bench at 4:45, checking inside that train is (for now) on time at 6:36 and she'll announce when it leaves Fort Lauderdale. Breeze is cool and I'm glad for long-sleeved pink pullover. Stare into space and write this til 5:25. May stretch it to 40 pages YET. Only 27 hours left. What an ORDEAL I put myself THROUGH. No more trips till I'm PUBLISHED! Take out Updike to read. Notes from 5:35 to 9:20 in the back of that book: 5:35 Station lights switch on. Tri-Rail trains pass in both directions. Cold and darkish by 6:10. 6:28 sign: 5:25 southbound hit car, delayed to 7:47. Doesn't bother me at all! It's BLACK outside by 6:30. 6:36 I'm told "seat 7" on left, TAKE seat 29, on right, OK! 9:20 lights out. Have greasy red snapper for dinner across from quick-talking guy from Queens. Pecan pie still good. At lights out I decide to take advantage of my double seat to lie down to sleep. Girls two seats behind chatter with their mother. Crazy black woman in rear exchanges loud insults with a white man trying to sleep. Toss and change positions from 10:30-11:30. Doze on and off.

FRIDAY, JANUARY 20: Awake at 1 and 2:30 as center light makes known to me that I have the SAME seat as coming down. Black in front of me leaves his light on ALL the time, even when he leaves. I'm relieved when we obviously aren't getting filled with people from Orlando, then remember: this is a DIFFERENT line: MUCH more rocking and moving, it turns out. Wake at 4:30 to piss and get a drink: nose and throat dry. Try feet curled up, but knees too stiff and stomach too big. Feet in aisle get bumped. Sleep at right angle, feet on footrest covered by jacket after I get sweater on for warmth. Sexy muscleman across finally pulls shirt over his tanned deltoids by 7AM, then jeans over his massive thighs and jutting calves. It's light about 6:30 and I look without glasses. Light enough by 7:30 for details and glasses. Lights on at 8:10. Breakfast fast at 8:40 of sausages and scrambled eggs, best meal on train. Continue to read Updike through North Carolina, making stops in Raleigh and pass 25,000-student University of North Carolina. Finish Updike's "Trust Me" at 11:05 and finish this at 11:15, sun coming over right shoulder for a shadow at last. Black woman in back of me rattled lunchbox, then rattled change, then stopped. Reagan has only 45 more minutes of presidency, breaking the long chain of "Presidents elected in years divided by 20 who end disastrously." Pity. Start reading "Quest." Sun comes out at noon as George Bush becomes President. Omen? Into North from North Carolina into Virginia, too. Scenery becomes boring so I read more; it gets dark about 5:45. The mother behind strikes up an animated conversation with the black who'd been in front of me, so I move up one car to get silence, including respite from a guy three seats in front who kept playing a Walkman WITHOUT an earpiece. Delayed in Jersey for some reason, the welcome Empire State Building hovering outside the window for about an hour. Into Penn Station at 8:20: a HORRENDOUS welcome with drunk, smelly, dirty homeless strewn over the station floor, which is littered and dirty and odorous. Onto crowded subway but get seat, home at 8:45 to get nine messages: Irwin Jacobs with $17 worth of Chinese stamps, Edgardo wishing me a Happy New Year, Joe Easter with his work number, Joyce asking me to lead a planetary session, Tom Pearsall wanting Cote Basque, Larry Vide wondering if I was the "Bob" who signed up for his porno party, Barbara Lea asking if I'm continuing with classes (?), Dennis saying he misses me, and Spartacus an hour ago welcoming me back. I note to re-record phone message, and go to Dennis's to pick up the Timeses and New Yorkers. Read papers and mail on Saturday, and on Sunday phone Pope and Mary Vilaboa and Sherryl and Susan and Vicki and Carr and Rolf and Alice and Bob G. Watch old videotapes for most of Tuesday and Wednesday after taking a lot of time to reshelve books from 4/87 to 1/89 on Monday morning. Go through piles of things to do, unpack, pick up laundry, get last pages of my only index, and type 2 pages of this on Wednesday & Thursday, and finish this at 3:20PM on Friday, ready to get on with the REST of my life.

I was going to say "Trains, trains---What pains!" but decided I could say more:
'Twas the night before train-time; all through the Victoria,
The passengers gathered in a state of Uproaria.
One Christopher Knowles introduced himself Chief of us,
And said "YOU ALL CHOSE THIS TRIP," to show his belief in us.
Our CHAMPAGNE debut was a farce with much WINE lacking---
Already some people had started their illness by HACKING.
I whispered morosely to my roommate George Parras
(I assure you my words weren't meant to embarrass):
"It cannot be said that this group is real groovy.
We're trapped with the cast from a bad Mel Brooks movie."
Then off to bed to get some sleep, storing up rest adalante
---The next morning our champagne meal was only Asti Spumante.
Was this a trend, from start to end, so painful to gain admittance?
We spent for a luxury but---were only given a pittance?
Whatever the case---eleven ill-assorted pairs, plus Olga---
We started off with hearts in our throats by train toward the Volga.
The dining table rang and shook with anecdotes tutorial.
And some of us were heard to speak with voices professorial.
Whenever Cliff or Paddy spoke, it WAS in tones quite teacherly.
While Clarence Miller held the floor with intonation preacherly.
In fact Naomi, quietly, wishing he'd tell his joke quicker,
Said, "Please do finish it this MONTH," not wanting to seem to bicker.
Then one fine night the Bobbsey twins---better known as Midge and Polly---
Described the Russian Amazon who moved their fridge, by golly!
"Hello Mudda, Hello Fadda, here we are at, Camp Renata":
Midge has been at, her Scotch bottle; so she touts her, Alma Mater.
Polly manages very well, her Hepburn-voice is so commanding.
She can get anyone to order ice, without even demanding.
(Local color) We thought of a tundra, and icy-cold nights.
And maybe a touch of those Northern Lights.
But what an amazement, and what a surprise---
To be greeted at 3 with a hot-pink sunrise!
Such flowers and sunshine, oh WHAT could be CHEERiah,
Then spending a summer in Southern Siberia?
(Back to people) Let no one omit the newly-wed tipplers, the Carpenters.
Bernice's bent straw, Ben explained with a laugh, "The BAR bent HERS."
Ben insists he's damn well pound to be 82 and gratified;
If I could do as well as he, I'm sure that I'd be satisfied!
The Litvais: Pauli, the good Doctor; Toni, never the vulgarian,
Looked down on English and always spoke with her husband in Hungarian.
The acupuncturist might cure himself of some addictions:
Cigars, his wife, his pipe, his film: not ALL of them afflictions.
All these are not MY thoughts alone, but rather a consensus;
These jokes are made in sport, I hope, and offer no offenses.
(Change of meter) We raced day and night o'er the great Russian steppe
With Lizzi and Nini---cucumbers for PEP.
Tugriks and mongos and kumiss and yurt---
We toured in Mongolia---days that it HURT.
ONE Bob went to movies, saw a couple of hits.
ANOTHER Bob danced---'twixt a couple of ----enlarged mammary glands!
What can be said of our good friends the Blums?
How many silences broken in rooms?
Complaints freely offered; oh, boy oh boy!
"My God, OY, JO-OE---what is in HERE?"
Here comes OUR Annie, disperser of CHEER.
Then there are Heenan and Reese: his names are different from her names.
They argue so much they can't even agree on their surnames.
The Captain orders all about in accents military.
While Edith speaks each word so crisp it's like she's eating cel'ry.

Done with the couples, now it's the turn of the singles:
The disco crowd, the bar-stool crowd, the crowd that mingles.
The man with the mustache and baritone: Beeton:
His comedy flair was Colonna, not Keaton.
But his temperature soared to a hundred and two---
That's more than he wanted, so to L.A. he flew.
"OY, would you look at that thin derriere??!
"That's Ann on who? Rene Mendez-LaPierre!!
With his Spanish smile and his French savoir-faire
He's sure to have more than one daughter, somewhere.
As a roommate George Parras is neat as a pin,
And so quiet I don't even know when he's in.
But out with "the boys," at a disco or three,
I bet he is ready for---yep---QUITE a spree!
(Meter change again!)
Pat Anger's one who's longest kept his Mao-cap on his head.
He knows he needs some help to keep his pate from getting red.
His English skill assists our guides in per-fecting their diction,
Thus easing race-relations with a minimum of friction.
More often than not a single, more often than not in suites:
This gal has a way with the key-men, that nothing ever beats.
Our only French, our sole Canadian, one who'll never tire---
I'm sure you all will know by now, this verse was on Olga LeMeier.
Werner Heikel, ein Berliner, joined us late in Germany.
Sold us rubles at a bargain, added Russian currency.
Talking English, talking German, laughing with us, 'neath his lorgnette,
Had his fill of blasted tourists, so we feel a touch of scorn yet.
No time wasted, no food wasted, no experience untasted;
No words softened, no help offered, any luxury lambasted;
Werner Hoerning? Former German, new Australian, could it be he?
Merely shining bright example of German practicality!
Warmth and cheer and humor bubbling, politics was not taboo.
Nadya dear, our favorite Russian, would that you guide China too!
(Different guide)
Fledgling tour guide, Judge's daughter, Tien Hue is her Chinese name.
But we tourists say "Miss China," and our meaning's all the same.
(Department of anticlimax)
Paragon of patience, arm of iron, voice of gold, will of steel:
Christopher, Chris---our leader, guide---how can we say what we feel?
We love you? Drop dead? Change your job? Change your tune? What can we say?
As a matter of fact, without you, Chris, we wouldn't BE here today!
Through America and Africa he traveled for a year---
Paul's encountered natives, lions, berbers, mau-maus, girls, and deer.
He's learned patience, wit, endurance, and a tolerance of glooms;
Why he's even one of few of us who tolerate the ---weather.
Learned, quick, and bright Cliff Simm is British as English toffee,
But please don't talk to him before he's had his morning coffee.
When faced with shops he is inclined to be a bit unruly,
Though not as bad, I must admit, as Zolnerzak, yours truly.
If forced into an encore, I can offer just one more rhyme:
Myself, I'd do much better at life, if I only had more TIME.

1/29/89: Sherryl's for Leading Edge Model D (LEMD)
1. LEMD underlines blanks between underlined words
2. IPS closes up space after 5-Hydroxy...
3. Still five steps to change the previous entry
4. Still no check for page numbers 44, 44
5. WP50 scrolls pages with dotted lines between pages.
6. WP50 has either typeover or insert typing mode.
7. Superscripts and subscripts appear to mess up on Toshiba printer.
8. Global search takes a DOUBLE hit each time, boo.
9. Timed backups automatically taken sound good.
10. Good facility to print HIGHLIGHTED text.
11. "Very polite, helpful 800#."
12. Macros give pauses for user input!
13. On-screen edit possible with multi-screens.
14. MACREX has many, many new functions, but doesn't fix initial caps; tab moves to SPACE between words, and coding possibilities are fabulous.
Now I have other systems to look at, Radio Shack to contact about trade-ins, and some more decisions to be made about keeping printers, etc. By coincidence Marck Smith has some spare portables sitting around that I can check to see if my printer works with IBM-compatible computers. Still have to hassle 8" to 5-1/4" conversion or mixed-reading, which might be difficult. Lots of stuff to do in the future and I sit making more lines so that the next entry can end the page.

1/30/89: I cum twice in about half an hour with best porno, and it's terribly difficult and I'm not looking forward to trying again: it's TRUE that refractory time increases with age. What a revolting development THAT is!!

2/18/89: Letter to Bill:

Dear Bill, February 18, 1989
Started listening to your tapes on 11/1/88 and finished yesterday: compared with what you said about YOUR response-time, mine is INSTANTANEOUS.
I'm glad you said I didn't have to respond on tape, since I don't find that nearly as satisfying as you do. So I'll respond like this. But I hope to send your cassettes back WITH this letter, so you'll have supplies for your NEXT talkathon to me, which I look forward to, but NOT more tapes of your friend Randy---whom I assume is still telephoning, since he seems indecisive enough to NEVER get off the pot.
To get to my notes from your tapes first: I hear you got my card from Germany and that it was the hottest summer in years. As you talked about Randy I wrote "IS Randy jerking off as he speaks to you?" but on listening to the tapes I figured he's not---unless he has a TERRIBLY low libido-energy level. You wanted some of the contents of "Masks of Universe" and "Cosmic Anthropic Principle," so on the next page I duplicate a letter I sent regarding those books that gives some of their ideas. In your "7 supplements to lower cholesterol" did I REALLY hear the last one right: "tablespoon of CHOLESTEROL"? You asked about "Indexing Handbook," and every time I ask the agent, Mitch Rose, about it he says he's still sending it around to more places, hoping to get it published in places OTHER than the "last-ditch" places I suggested to him in the past. On the trip to Florida I determined to start on something ELSE, so I wondered what that would be, then decided to leave it up to Mitch, sending him the letter I herewith duplicate on the FOLLOWING page. Haven't heard from him yet. That'll also answer your question about "AIDS House."
Pre-sleep tickles are unknown to me; have you tried washing your face pre-nap? Or, if you DO wash your face, maybe it's the soap and you should try NOT washing your face?
Then you noted the oft-quoted statement: "Only 10% of the brain is used;" and asked "What's the other 90% for?" By "coincidence" I'd just heard an Actualism (yes, that's still going on; more about that later) tape from which I'd copied the following sentences: "10% of brain is BRAIN cells; other 90% are NERVE cells for SENSORY awareness: optic, auditory, olfactory, taste, and touch nerves are there. SYNAPTIC level of nervous system has no connection with knowing but with sensing. Neurons of nerves and neurons of brain until recently lumped in brain." Now just what did THAT mean? Is that "mystical bullshit" or scientifically acceptable? Are we actually thinking with only 10% of the brain because that's all we CAN think with? Which would imply that "We only use 10% of the brain" is a statement of FACT rather than a statement of "Look how much BETTER we could do." So I pulled out good ol' EB. Turned to "brain:" "The higher vertebrate brain consists of the medulla, the cerebellum, the two halves of which are connected by the pons; the mid-brain; the thalamus; and the cerebrum.....The cerebrum in humans, the centre of thought and conscious activities, is about 85% of the brain's weight." Ok, turn to "cerebrum:" "In mammals the cerebrum is divided into two greatly enlarged lateral hemispheres that cover much of the rest of the brain." In a subsection it refers to "structural components and functions." [won't it be great when all this is on a COMPUTER and I won't have to run back and forth to the bookshelf?] In paging back and forth in this volume, I come across the following (scattered: in actual fact they're scattered in OPPOSITE ORDER across two full pages) statements: "The human central nervous system consists of a brain, its connected spinal cord, and their associated membranes, fluids, and blood vessels." "In the central nervous system, neuroglial (glia) cells outnumber neurons five to ten times." "The neuron is the basic structural and functional unit of the circuits and networks of the human nervous system. Each of the more than 15,000,000,000 neurons within the system has synaptic contacts with other neurons, and each acts as integrator, conductor, and transmitter of coded neural information (as electrical impulses). Non-neural surrounding (interstitial) cells are in intimate contact with the entire neuron including its fibril processes (axons and dendrites). In a sense interstitial elements


September 21, 1987
John Updike
% The New Yorker
25 West 43rd Street
New York, NY 10036
Dear Mr. Updike:
I enjoyed your review of "Time's Arrow, Time's Cycle" but much MORE enjoyed "Time's Arrows: Scientific Attitudes Toward Time" by Richard Morris (Touchstone/Simon & Schuster; $8.95), reviewed previously in The New Yorker.
You might also be interested in "The Anthropic Cosmological Principle" by John D. Barrow and Frank J. Tipler (Oxford University Press; $29.95), which sports this text on its inner jacket: "Is there any connection between the vastness of the universe of stars and galaxies and the existence of life within it on a small planet out in the suburbs of the Milky Way? This book shows that there is. The Universe needs to be billions of light years in extent in order to support just one lonely outpost of life. Furthermore, the evolution of life has been possible only because of a number of seeming coincidences in the way the world is fashioned. Could there be other universes? How large is the range of conceivable universes that can give rise to living observers? What is the past history and fate of our own? These are just some of the questions that this wide-ranging and detailed book surveys. The history of philosophic thought concerning the question of Design and Mankind's place in the Universe is investigated. The modern collection of ideas known as the Anthropic Cosmological Principle emerges historically as the latest manifestation of such ideas. A thorough investigation of its many facets takes the reader on an eclectic study of many scientific disciplines and presents a revealing picture of the structure of the physical world solely in terms of its invariant physical constants. There are also detailed chapters on the definition and nature of life, the search for extraterrestrial intelligence, and the interpretation of quantum theory in relation to the existence of observers. This unique book will be of interest to historians, philosophers, theologians, mathematicians, and scientists of all disciplines."
The best book in this line that I've read recently is "Masks of the Universe" by Edward Harrison (Collier/Macmillan; $9.95) which has this on its back cover: "To the ancient Greeks the universe consisted of earth, air, fire, and water. To Saint Augustine it was the Word of God. And to modern cosmologists, it's nothing more than a dance of atoms and waves. But which is the real Universe? All and none, says Edward Harrison in this thought- provoking history of the diverse masks man has placed on the face of the universe. From the animistic world of the primitives to Newton's well-oiled clockwork to the warp and weave of Einstein's space-time, Harrison shows how every universe has been the ultimate Universe---until a better one came along. He also tours our current version, deftly charting the strange tiny cosmos of subatomic particles and the vast, seemingly limitless ocean of stars and galaxies. And he asks, if our mask of the universe is crumbling, what new vision of reality will replace it? Fascinating and wide-ranging Masks of the Universe will change how we think about our universe---and ourselves."
How wonderful it is to read! Very truly yours,
Robert Zolnerzak


February 13, 1989
Dear Mitch,
I want to submit another manuscript proposal. Which of these is most promising?
1) AIDS HOUSE: 432-page novel about giving LSD to people with AIDS; 4/5 written.
2) PLAYWRITER: 124-page experimental self-referential semi-serious twenty-scene off-off-Broadway play; 3/4 written.
3) JOHN: 430-page novel of pre-AIDS homosexual relationship; 2/3 written.
4) TRAVEL: various-length travel journals that need editing:
a) 406-page 99-day 16,000-mile bus-trip across the United States in 1963.
b) 116-page around-South-America trip in 1965, including Lake District.
c) 387-page around-the-world trip in 1971 including 6 weeks in remote India, 2 weeks in northern Thailand, and getting lost in Borneo.
d) 350-page train-trip from London to Hong Kong, followed by island-hopping in the northern Pacific in 1981.
e) 148-page all-Italy-by-car-and-train one-month trip in 1982.
f) 62-page France-Africa six-week trip in 1983, including Tanzania safari and climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro.
g) 74-page southern-France-by-car one-month trip in 1985.
h) 84-page Frankfurt-to-Istanbul two-month trip in 1988.
i) 949 pages of miscellaneous travel from 1960-1989.
5) NEW YORK JOURNALS: 12,648-page multi-volume exploration of New York City during the period 1957-1987, in need of direction and editing.
6) HOMOSEXUAL ENCOUNTERS PRE-AIDS: 1239-page multi-volume sexual exploration in an era of encouraged experimental investigations, needs editing.
7) ESOTERIC-SCHOOL MYSTERIES DISCLOSED: 1123-page multi-level arcane- society lessons over a period of thirteen years, needs editing.
8) DREAMS: 814-page meticulously detailed 30-year dream-recordings, complete as unedited.
9) PHILOSOPHICAL ESSAYS: 614-page Theory Of Everything, needs editing.
10) CASTENADA INDEX: Unstarted much-needed analytical index of terms, experiences, and teachings for all the eight Castenada books from 1965 to 1988 which have never been out of print and remain highly controversial. No current index exists, and one is desperately needed. Could be updated and reprinted (by Simon and Shuster, Castenada's publisher?) with each new Castenada book.
Very truly yours,
Robert Zolnerzak


(called oligodendroglia, astroglia, neurilemma cells, satellite cells, and ependymal cells) are intercalated between the neurons and the blood vessels, extracellular fluids, and connective tissue cells. Each neuron is effectively enveloped by these supporting, nourishing cells." Then it goes on to describe "sensory receptor neurons" and "in the eye there are retinal rods and cones, highly specialized nerve cells [a term, Bill, identical with neurons, as far as I can tell; but damn it: if it's the same, why don't they use ONE term??] that are selectively responsive to different kinds of light," which seems to AGREE that all neurons aren't "thinking" neurons. Then I advance 6 pages to "Cerebral hemispheres:" [12:1002] "The cerebral hemispheres comprise the cerebral cortex, the lateral ventricles, white matter deep to the cerebral cortex, and the basal ganglia. The surface of each hemisphere is subdivided, for descriptive purposes, into lobes....frontal, limbic, parietal, and occipital lobes." Interesting term coming: "The cortex of the occipital the visuosensory area for reception of visual impulses from the retina. The visuosensory area is surrounded by a zone that extends on to the outer aspect of the occipital lobe, termed the visuopsychic [my emphasis] area." "The auditory area of the brain receives sensory impulses...." "...the higher cortical area for the sense of smell....That part of the brain that is concerned with the sense of smell and with certain complex emotional responses is called the limbic lobe.....There is also a large area...the cutaneous sensory, or tactile, area." [Different page] "...this part of the cortex may control skilled movements that are dependent on impulses reaching the brain from the eyes and that require close attention and a knowledge or memory of past experiences---such movements, for instance, as those of the lips and tongue or of the hand, which have given man the powers of speech and of writing. In front of the premotor cortex is the prefrontal cortex, which is somehow involved with such qualities as disposition, outlook on life, drive, personality, planning for the future, and control of activities along ethical standards." I didn't know they had it THAT localized. So LOTS of the brain is NOT devoted to what we usually think of as thinking! 26 pages later [12:1028] I come across "The cerebral cortex, which is the thin, outer part of the hemispheres, is composed of gray matter (chiefly nerve cells, fibres, and supporting cells), in contrast to the interior of the brain, which is composed partly of white matter (consisting largely of the fibres projecting from nerve cells). The interior of the cerebral hemispheres contains not only white matter but well-demarcated masses of gray matter known collectively as basal ganglia (one of the exceptions to the general rule that collections of nerve cells in the brain and spinal cord are known as nuclei.)" Nothing more through page 1040. Ah, 12:994 tells me: "The earliest nerve cell, or neuron, to evolve ..." so they ARE synonymous. p.995: "...a person is born with as many neurons as he will ever have (perhaps 10,000,000,000 in the brain cortex alone), losing ...approximately 50,000 neurons daily from ages 20 to age 75, the weight of the brain typically is reduced from its maximum at maturity by about one-tenth." 12:982 talks of brain and its components. Aha: "...basal ganglia, which regulate movement." LOTS of pages don't help at all. Let's look at "intelligence:" nothing physiological. I try "thinking" and "memory" and "cell theory" and LOTS of other dead-ends, and finally under "neuron" get referred to "Psychology, Physiological" [15:159] which says "..main mass of cerebral hemispheres consists of white matter entering and leaving outer layers of gray matter known as the cerebral cortex....The new cortex includes occipital lobes (one at the back of each hemisphere) concerned with visual function, temporal lobes (at the lower sides of the brain) concerned with auditory and language functions, parietal lobes that integrate sensory information coming from the skin and muscles, and frontal lobes with motor areas that control discrete movements and postural adjustments; the remainder of each frontal lobe is presumed to serve complex associative functions still poorly understood." Lots of other WORDS, but none of them CONNECT. Maybe I should try other sourcebooks!
I try Anatomy Coloring Book: p.121 says "All parts of the cortex are concerned with storage of experience (memory), exchange of impulses with other cortical areas (association), and the two way transmission of impulses with subcortical areas (afferent/efferent projection)." And that's about it.
Now try Three-Pound Universe: p.37: "At least 70 percent of the neurons in the human central nervous system is in the cortex." There's even a joke on p.43: "The limbic system's behavior revolves around the 'Four F's': feeding, fighting, fleeing, and sexual behavior." p.21 is another good quote: "If the brain was so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple that we couldn't." BUT, same page, "we still don't know whether 1011 wet cells make a soul." It offers nothing better.
FINALLY, in Godel, Escher, Bach by Douglas Hofstadter [have I ever recommended this as one of the best books I ever read---self-described as "A metaphorical fugue on minds and machines in the spirit of Lewis Carroll"??], page 339, I find "The most important cells in the brain are nerve cells, or neurons, of which there are about ten billion. (Curiously, outnumbering the neurons by about ten to one are the glial cells, or glia. Glia are believed to play more of a supporting role to the neurons' starring role, and therefore we will not discuss them.)" Looking back to previous notes, it seems to ME safe to say that we only use 10% of the cells of the brain because only 10% are USABLE! AND many of the NEURONS are concerned with faculties OTHER than thinking!! So we may be "able" to use only some small percent of that 10% for "actual thinking." Whew---THAT took longer than I would have thought!!
To tackle your OTHER "biggie" question next: "Why do they say that only 25% of the matter in the universe is accounted for?" It's not 25%, it's only 10% that we can account for. I was going to quote from many sources, but this Times article from 12/12/88 (which I'd like back, please) summarizes it clearly enough. I've indexed whole books (mostly junky) that try to answer that question.
Now that I've gotten up and down from the computer 10-15 times in the course of writing this letter, my next subject will be the TERRIBLE state of my BACK, which I certainly hope is temporary: About 3PM Friday (yesterday) I sat down on my coffee table (which is ABOUT the same level as most of my chairs) to look at a subway map before going out with Dennis, and when I got up there was a SHARP pain, the first such that I can recall, like a severe cramp, in my lower back. I could barely walk and sort of "clutched" my whole midsection around the pain. When I relaxed and "breathed into" the spot (right where the lower spine joins the pelvis), I could move without too much discomfort. But I had to STOOP slightly. Walking "sort of" cured the pain, and it "almost" went away. But afterwards when I SIT, and then GET UP, I'm strongly reminded that "something's going on back there." Is that a charley-horse? Muscle spasm? Thank goodness it doesn't affect me when I lie down to sleep. I add that to the five-year-old arthritis-like pain in my thumbs that seem to come and go (but never completely) with weather-changes, and the two-week-old similar pain in my right elbow, which has been more or less constant. My God, Bill, I'm falling apart!!! Had tried acupuncture and moxibustion years ago for the thumb-pain, but it didn't seem to do any good. Tried various homeopathic nostrums to no effect. Do I remember correctly that you recommended linseed oil for it a couple years back? I still have 9/10 bottle in my fridge. Um.
My tastes in VCR tapes are clearly not yours. I now have "the good parts" of 240 porno tapes excerpted onto 5-8 (not all of them are full or exclusively porno) tapes. I've rented hundreds of tapes that you'd classify as junk. The only "good" title that occurs to me is "The Terry Fox Story." It'll break your heart and stir your gonads at the same time.
I fasted for 7 days on just water and lost ten pounds. I keep thinking I should do it again---I need to lose about ten pounds. But there are too many intermittent restaurant-evenings scattered through my weeks to make it QUITE practical. Noted your foreclosing and your six-month kitty. Sorry.
I absolutely DO remember your barn-trench saga! I don't frequent second-hand bookstores any more. My "obsessions" are nicely under control (relatively speaking) with lists: I keep track of book-reviews or book recommendations on a BOOK-GET list, and fill my shelf when I finish reading what I've got. Currently it included lots of Greg Bear, who I find to be a good "new" science-fiction author, keeping up with "my" authors such as John Updike, Kurt Vonnegut, Robert Heinlein, Ray Bradbury, Arthur Clarke, and John Barth, whose Tidewater Tales is my current reading task, to be followed by Blavatsky's Isis Unveiled, which is largely a pain in the butt, but I'd like to get through it. I have a TAPE-GET list which started at over 100 and is now down to about 35---I seldom go to first-run movies, I just keep a list for when they come out on tape: things like Last Temptation of Christ, Accused, Boost, Fish Called Wanda, etc. Usually share them with one or more of Dennis, Spartacus, and Pope. We just had an Almondovar festival of three of his older films that just came out on tape. Dark Habits was fun, if you like sacreligiosity. Last month I found a "new" (it's been there for years) video rental place on 7th Avenue just south of 14th. I'd had lots of porno films I'd wanted to see on my list, and ALMOST signed up with a high-priced Gay Video rental place that charges $7.50 a tape a night! Then I found that this OTHER place had MOST of those titles for only $3.30/night---"bargain", so I indulged in 3 tapes/day for about two weeks. Almost wore it out. My cock, not my VCR.
By coincidence, my OLD "MOVIE-SEE" list (which has been incorporated into my TAPE-GET list, since there are now more tapes of old movies than are shown in the reduced number of revival houses [essentially 5: Biograph on 57th which had gone from regular house to male porno to Indian films to revival house, Cinema Village on E.12th, Film Forum which you probably don't know on Watts St., Thalia SoHo on Vandam since the one on 95th Street closed--what a loss!, and the Theatre 80 St. Marks, which essentially shows the same 200 tacky films in rotation]) had gone down to only TWO titles at about the same time that my old BOOK-GET list reduced to two titles, which none of the stores in town had, which is why I stopped going to second-hand bookshops.
Still no more dump-picking? I find some of MY old habits are vanishing: I STILL haven't sorted through my slides from my trip last year to show to friends. Just doesn't seem important, somehow. Also stopped going to ANY cruising places like baths (still 2 left) and bars (some new, big ones added, like The Monster on Sheridan Square) and j/o scenes (though I keep thinking that I WANT to go). Tried the few dating services, but results are usually not as classy as one might want. Carr and I seem to have lapsed into non-meeting. I telephone him about once a week to remind him I still exist, but nothing comes of it. He's not really THAT much worth pursuing!
I'd like the 50 pages of Nicoll excerpts and the 5 pages of Yoga.
Does "Life taking you nowhere" mean that YOU have to take YOURSELF?
"Prana" as sort of the "breath of God" is something called "Breath of Life" or "Fire-Breathing" in Actualism, in which I've passed my 13th anniversary by being able to teach the first twelve lessons with six of the basic energies. Hope to set up a course for "Prime Timers." Actualism is in financial troubles and closed down half its NYC office and lost two full-time teachers. Now we get one class a month from a teacher who flies out from California for a week here, except all the teachers are sick so we get no class the month of February. Not satisfactory, but no GREAT loss, either. I don't actually "practice" the techniques as much as I should. But I keep having good intentions, and STILL nothing better's come along to replace it. Pity.
"Prime Timers" (did you think I'd just let that pass?) is a group of older (45-99) gay men that started in Boston and spun off a satellite group here in NYC. Most of them are rather pathetic, but they're open to massage and seem interested in Actualism so I'm thinking of advertising a course for them. One of the guys in "Homogeniuses" orgnized it here. Am I doing this backward? "Homogeniuses" is a Special Interest Group (SIG) of Mensa, which I'd been a member of years ago, then dropped out because they DIDN'T have special-interest groups that I had any interest in. Then about a year ago I started with a Games Group (I STILL love playing games!) that turned out to be a SIG, and I thought I should rejoin Mensa, since they still had my records and knew I qualified. Then found out about Homogeniuses. STILL don't care for Mensa itself, so I'll let my membership lapse again. At one of the Games meetings at Rita Immerman's I noticed her stamp collection, and it turned out she's President of the Brooklyn Stamp Club. Joined them out of curiosity, and MAY become more active, but it's not that interesting: lots of old men with enormous collections---some might be gay, but who cares? They DO buy new Scott catalogs each year and circulate them among the members. I got Vol G-O and found that some of my sheets are worth a couple hundred dollars---if I could trade THOSE off for equal-value stamps from some of the collectors, I might enjoy filling spaces in my albums, but it's not really a high priority in my life now.
What IS? Writing; so I hope Mitch Rose responds. Indexing, which is slow now, but should pick up next month. Friends, who go to restaurants and ballet and opera with me---except for my new Metropolitan Opera subscription, which is me alone, and I LOVE front-row orchestra on Saturday matinees when they get the good casts for the radio programs!!! But went to "Idomeneo" last night on someone ELSE'S subscription they couldn't use (paid "only" $40 for an $80 seat) and it wasn't so great. Either they weren't singing strongly or the voices drop off CONSIDERABLY from row A, where my subscription is, to row O, where I sat last night.
2/20/89: Stopped above because Joe Easter arrived so that we could go to Stephanie's party Saturday night. Sunday was devoted to ANOTHER high priority in life, keeping up with VCR'd TV programs, until Joe came over AGAIN and we went to dinner at Tom Pearsall's, here in the Heights. Tom is a very complicated subject it's too early to go into: I'd responded to an ad of his in New York Magazine. He was VERY uncomfortable when we met at a local place for lunch, LESS uncomfortable when he and I met Joe Easter at the Brooklyn Museum for an exhibit from the time of Cleopatra, and VERY at ease at a dinner with Sherryl (I think he's so traditional that he feels at home in a mixed group, not being obliged to talk about things gay. He's sort of set himself up [for me] as a traditional, monogamous, low-profile person. HOWEVER, any GAY conversation DEFINITELY gives me [Joe, too, who just says "He's STRANGE"] the impression he either IS or WOULD LIKE TO BE quite non-traditional, non-monogamous, high-profile. Maybe there are closets in homosexuality WITHIN the gay-closet itself?) and Joe and me, and back to uncomfortable last night in his "temporary" apartment on Hicks (he's been working on a Gramercy Park coop for over a year; he showed us a model of the 7-room apartment last night; Joe figures he has LOTS of money, which might contribute to his "strangeness:" trying to make sure people don't like him for his MONEY but for HIM) when he KEPT making excuses for not having things ready, the state of his apartment, how he was cooking things, etcetcetc. I called him today to ask him along with me tomorrow for lunch at an Italian restaurant a few doors from the Morgan Library, which Joe says has a good exhibition of drawings. We'll see what happens. He COULD be sexually attractive (except he seems to shy off me because I've had "so many lovers, and you even remain FRIENDLY with them"--- he's the only one I know who seems to say things like that with CONDEMNATION--- AND in certain lights and angles his face reminds me of my FATHER'S face, which is not encouraging to me) but I don't THINK he finds me sexually attractive and would just like to be friends---except for that "impression" foggily mentioned 17 lines back. So much, for now, for Tom.
Finished Stephen W. Hawking's A Brief History of Time this morning. Even in your protected environment I PRESUME you've heard of it? So many notes I wrote in THAT reminded me of ANOTHER letter I wrote, which I reproduce on the next page (computers are sure good for REPRODUCTION!). Then I'll start on a letter to Hawking by including it in my letter to YOU. Neat?

DUPLICATED LETTER to Bill [I've edited much of this out.]

August 7, 1987
Dr. Richard Morris
% Simon & Schuster
1230 Avenue of the Americas
New York, NY 10020

Dear Dr. Morris:
Re Time's Arrows: Not that you can answer every reader who questions (or extends) information in your book, but I can't resist some major points:
1) I write inside cover: "Black holes backward?" after I read on p. 139: "If only backward-moving waves existed, a star or a light bulb would not appear to be bright. It would not emit any energy; on the contrary, it would absorb energy. Now, it is obvious that stars and light bulbs are not dark, energy-absorbing objects. But the fact that they are not is something that must be explained."
2) On p. 141 I read "According to the theory we do see [radiation going into the past]. But we do not interpret it as a wave from the future. Remember that it is a converging wave from the future. From our forward-in-time point of view, it will appear to be a diverging wave toward the future. In other words, it will appear to be ordinary radiation." This I connect with p. 211: "In such a contracting universe....the processes taking place in their brains would also be reversed, they would 'think backward' and view phenomena exactly as we do. Furthermore, they would see the contraction of the universe as an expansion; they would look back to the big crunch and view it as the beginning of the universe, not the end." And in the margin I write "AS WE MAY BE DOING." And I note inside the cover "and black holes move forward", with an "arrow of space" moving to my comment about p. 139.
3) On p. 215-216 I circle "Detailed calculations indicate that an oscillating universe with increasing entropy would not experience cycles of constant length. With each cycle, the time between the beginning of the expansion and the final collapse would grow longer. The behavior of such a universe would be the opposite of that which we observe in a bouncing ball. Where the ball never reaches the same height that it attained on the first bounce, such an oscillating universe would bounce 'higher' each time." And I write in the margin "Is this proof that we're going BACKWARD: that there's a sixth 'arrow of time' directing that these oscillating universes must bounce 'lower' each time, which would prove that we're going backward?"
4) On p. 173 I circled "gravity is the curvature of space-time produced by the presence of massive objects." I noted in the margin: "So it isn't a force to be unified" and wondered why this hadn't been noted in print.
5) On p. 199 I circled "there are some especially difficult problems associated with gravity" and noted "like: it's not a force."
6) On p. 200 I noted one of my previous "favorite fantasies": that Science proves that the average mass density of the universe nears 5 x 10-27 kilograms per cubic meter (p. 173-174) so closely that Ultimate Scientists (US) can prove that it lacks one Infitron (my name for the building blocks out of which quarks [or their eventual future-ultimate subunits: e.g. rishons] are constructed) of being the critical density---and then US create that Infitron so that the universe can rebound and create more universes, rather than petering out into some pointless Heat Death. Now you've added another facet to that fantasy: that a post-Guth will postulate a pre-inflationary inflationary expansion that would start from not twenty pounds (which is 1/(2 x 1051)th of the 4 x 1052 pound mass of the Einstein-Eddington universe---and that same fraction of twenty pounds, or 1 x 10-50 pounds, would be a lovely theoretical value of the Infitron) but from one Infitron, so that maybe this universe and ALL universes WERE created by US.
17) On p. 216 I noted that if black holes survive bounces of universes, somehow that makes the unusual assumption that black holes are not parts of universes. Very truly yours, Robert Zolnerzak


February 20, 1989
Stephen W. Hawking
% Bantam Books
666 Fifth Avenue
New York, NY 10103
Dear Dr. Hawking:
Reading A Brief History of Time prompted some marginal notations:
1) Page 9: "Their [events 'earlier than time'] existence can be ignored because it would have no observational consequences." See below, #13
2) P.12: "...a complete unified theory...would...determine our actions." A unified theory including free will is indeterminate by definition.
3) P.105: "..cannot be exactly zero...uncertainty..." doesn't appear to agree with P.129 " exactly exactly cancels..."
4) P.112: " hole will just disappear...from our region of the universe..." See below, #12
5) P.125: "...what happens in another universe can have no observable consequences in our own universe." See below, #13
6) P.138: I suggest there may be a mathematically-meaningful difference if the path of "increasing imaginary time" in Figure 8.1 were not a semicircle but half of a sine wave, which would continue through (since it is not a singularity) the big crunch at the South Pole of "universe A" to "universe B," represented by the continuation of the sine wave starting with a big bang at the North Pole of "universe B." The sine wave could "continue down the page" with universes becoming beads on a necklace, or the sine wave could move up the right side of Figure 8.1 to remeet (a different) or repeat (the same) the big bang at the North Pole. I enclose a copy of an excerpt of my letter to Richard Morris on his book Times Arrows, saying similar things.
7) P.138 (after reading P.148): Uncertainty might require that "universe B" cannot be precisely orthogonal to "universe A" and that the path of the continuation of the sine wave, above, forms a random walk that eventually fills some hypervolume of hyperspace. Or could these be observable black holes in ordinary space? See below, #13
8) P.145: Can there not conceivably be intelligent beings asking the question: Why does disorder decrease in the same direction of time as that in which the universe contracts? On P.147 they would envy the stock-market killings they could make by remembering yesterday's prices.
9. P.149: "...a black hole is rather like the later stages of the collapse of the whole universe." Is it provable that it is not?
10. P.150: "...trapped behind the event horizon of the black hole." Which may be a universe in itself. Maybe this is where the dimensions are curved and hidden. See #11.
11. P.157: "...curve up the universe to infinitely small size." Any good reason why not? If a two-dimensional "Flatland" being moves into a third dimension, it vanishes. If four dimensions are "here," could we move through a fifth dimension to get to a "there" (imaginary? negative time? reversed arrows of time?) which has four dimensions, and then through a tenth dimension (a negative of the fifth, above?) to return "here," enumerating the ten dimensions required in string theories as described on P.162? Is this a mathematically-viable possible answer to the questions at the bottom of P.163? Could we not be the "intelligent beings" you deny on P.165? Is our universe, as the sine wave in #7, above, one of many "waves on the string" on P.165?
12. P.167: "...mass would be so concentrated..." Would there be an equal problem if the mass of "universe B" in dimensions 6-9 were negative? Is this the "other region" where black holes go in #4?
13. The concept of four-dimensional space-time is comparatively recent. Are we so certain we'll never manipulate ten-dimensional space-time? #11 may permit some interaction between "here" and "there," and there may be observations possible, contrary to #1 and #5. As posed in #7, could all these universes be (eventually) observable from right here? Very truly yours, Robert Zolnerzak

CONTINUATION OF LETTER: Now you can see where my time goes! Back to the notes I transcribed from your tapes---and this has GOT to be the last page of this letter!
2/21/89: Paul Bosten called then to talk about his lover's funeral last Tuesday and his recovery from the loss---though Kenny'd been in the hospital since November. Sad case: first hospitalized for a cardiac valve infection that's ONLY caused by DRUG ABUSE, and Paul had never realized (even while living with the guy for 5-6 years) that he'd been addicted to heroin and cocaine. THEN it turns out he also has AIDS. Paul had been diagnosed as HIV-positive about a year ago and spent months turning everything over to Kenny, and now he has to deal with Kenny's death. SO I didn't finish this yesterday.
Went to Actualism last night and we had a session that was VERY closely connected with cosmic awareness and with subatomic particles, but when I gave my report based on the letter I'd written that morning, I just got puzzled looks of incomprehension, so I suppose I should say that UNLESS you've been reading up on things like that, you could have expected that it's mostly incomprehensible.
As I was stepping out the door last night at 5:15 I got a call from the Mayo Clinic who's putting out a thousand-page Family Medical Guide and they're looking for an indexer for the pages due in March, 1990. Boggles the mind to think the date has almost reached that number---can you IMAGINE the anticipation as we near 2000?? Watched a PBS program on Intelligence last night, about how close we came to nuclear war during the Cuban Missile Crisis in 1962, and maybe we'll be lucky if ANYONE reaches the year 2000!
My back-pain has almost vanished, thank goodness, but I'll sure hang onto any excuse not to go the gym. Meeting Tom for lunch at Fino's and then we'll go to the Morgan Library for an exhibit of drawings; then I'll go to the Public Library to pass time before 8, when I meet Joe for the NYC Ballet, and then we'll go to Mickey Mantle's for ribs and hot fudge sundaes. NYC can be beautiful, even if it's raining like mad as it is at the present moment.
Then dinner with Alice Wednesday at Cellar in the Sky (best meal in town for $85); going to the Mensa restaurant-group Thursday, Swiss Chalet with Susan on Friday, Homogeniuses here Saturday where one of the members will tell us about conundrums (Dennis tells me some of them leak), and I hope to get in touch with Carr for brunch at the Box Tree on Sunday. Monday is open, Tuesday I have a private session with a California Actualism teacher, Wednesday is a bodywork meeting at an Actualism student's apartment, Thursday is "M.Butterfly" with three others, Friday Spartacus got us tickets to a "high-building top" tour for $15, and Saturday is his 30-year jubilee-party for his living in his Brooklyn Heights apartment. That's vaguely what my calendar's usually like.
Topics seem to have pooped out, so that'll do for NOW. Love, Bob


Dear Bill,
Completism has again taken over, and AFTER I sent off the package to you I realized I hadn't even finished going through the notes I took from your tapes! AND I hadn't described my trip to Florida. Let's see if I can do that in ONE page.
DEACON Hyde seems surely more than the Baptists bargained for, but you can always hold it as something that's bound to be enlightening for you and for them. If this is the "first church" for this 38-year-old, what had he done before this? I may get around to reading Nicoll's Living Time, because modern science seems much easier talking about multiple dimensions and time running in various directions: forward, backward, and "crosswise."
Your food intake noted---last night's hot fudge sundae at Mickey Mantle's had good FUDGE and terribly mediocre ice cream. You mention vitamin B-12 for bursitis---how much?? Praise BE that you solved your sinus headaches! I think I answered about my Actualism involvement: "by coincidence" I phoned two other students this morning to find out what's going on. The group I'd been with for the past five years seems to have split up: those living in Westchester and Queens seem to be going off on their own, but I haven't heard about a supposed board decision on whether or not students can listen to Russell's tapes without a teacher present, since we are all, in a sense, teachers now at our advanced level. It's still interesting enough to pursue and nothing better's come along, so I stay with it.
I think Tom Selleck IS suckable, so THERE! I report this note for what it's worth: you DO lead Randy ON. Have YOU tried liver yet??? I must say I don't think it sounds like much fun---"Blood on the Cock" and all that?
I thought I got wrong numbers often, but it's surely nothing LIKE the one in five you say you get. Often (maybe once a week) I get 520-5910 (some company) calls because they inadvertantly press "2" TWO times and thus get me at 522-0591. Well, that's the end of the notes I took from your tapes.
My Florida trip was more of a vacation than I thought it would be. I was reluctant to fly so I took a train Saturday morning (lousy food) and got there Sunday morning. Met Spartacus at the car-rental office and had dinner at Midge's, who was our wonderful hostess just north of Orlando, in Longwood. A friend of a friend got us into DisneyWorld free on Monday, and we spent the evening in Epcot, dining at the Chinese Nine Dragons restaurant. Tuesday I caught up on the Epcot pavilions built since I'd been there in 1982, and had dinner at the Victoria and Albert restaurant in the Grand Floridian Hotel, which looks like the Del Coronado in San Diego. Wednesday was our last day in Epcot, having lunch in Morocco and dinner in Norway. Thursday we went south a bit to Boardwalk and Baseball, saw Lippizaner horses perform, and returned to Midge's for a wonderful dinner at Maison and Jardin in Altamonte Springs. Friday brought lunch in the Bubble Room, a boat tour of Winterhaven, and dinner at Wekiva Marina. Saturday I spent with my sister, brother-in-law, and nephew at their home in Satellite Beach, along with my mother, visiting from Akron. We had a great dinner at the Phoenix, then drove to Boca Raton. Sunday we took Art Deco tours by foot and by tram in Miami Beach and dined at Cafe Ambiance in Bal Harbor Mall. Monday we drove around Fort Lauderdale and Coral Gables and dined at the former-New-York-City-great (not so great now) Cafe Chauveron. Tuesday we drove south to Miami for lunch at Joe's Stone Crab and then farther south to Key Largo to swim with four young dolphins at Dolphins Plus. If you're going to swim with dolphins, swim with those who are experienced with people; they'd be more fun. Wednesday we drove north to Palm Beach and toured the Flagler Mansion; I had dinner at wonderful La Vieille Maison. Left by train on Thursday and returned Friday evening to cold and grimy NYC. Talk about culture shock!! Passed from the cloudy south of Virginia into the sunny north of Maryland just at noon as Bush was being inaugurated. Hope that's a good omen for our political future! Great trip!
So that catches you up with EVERYTHING!! Love, Bob


Michael Blackburn 724-6677 LW

Maya Bryant 787-5193 Not Tuesdays Fri OK

Adriel Cogdal (718)268-9069 Not Sundays LW

Bernice Cousins (H) (718-545-6782 (W) 682-1650 Fri OK

Dick Holt 799-6195 LW

Barbara Lea 874-6165 Fri not best (awayApr)

Joan Pankosky (203) 661-9155 LW

Mary Vilaboa (H) 877-1714 (W) 484-4059 Fri OK

Valda Wells (718) 321-0039 When interested Fri OK

Bob Zolnerzak (718-522-0591 Fri OK

George Pierson, Neal Sendar, Mark Silverwood content to meet upstate.

So far: every other Friday? Donations! GP: "4th Document: 4ths CAN hear ANY tape, PREFERABLY in a group of two or more."

2/24/89: Susan notices that our ages: 53-42, always come out to 11, and ALSO that INVERTED ages: 35-24, are ALSO equal to 11. I find that's ALWAYS true for us, though I have to take 60 as 50/10 for the inversion to work. 60-49=11 and 94-10/5=11. When I work out an EQUATION for ANY year-number, it comes out 11=11. It also works for 12-year differences: 50-38=12,?-83=21 is 10/04(inv40)

2/28/89: I try to make reservations at Rainbow Room: at 10:50 I 1) get operator, 2) get recording "Not again," 3) get ANOTHER recording, and 4) get dial tone as I'm CUT OFF! At 10:55 I 1) get operator, 2) get recording "Not again," 3) immediately get the SAME recording "Not again," 4) get the START of the other message CUT OFF by a person who takes my reservation, insisting that we must LEAVE by 7:45PM and there's NO dancing. So THERE. WHEW!!

3/3/89: Tour "Heights of Manhattan" by the 92nd Street YMHA: 3) to top of Lefcourt building at 580 Fifth, at 46th, which we're not supposed to be at next-to-top floor looking out windows, so 6PM tour-ending moved up to 5:20PM. Not a great way to end! 2) Suite at 27th floor of Warwick Hotel, interesting, but not that great. 1) Roof of the Metropolitan Tower, from which everything was downhill physically and emotionally. Took notes: from "Floor 80" on the roof, what was OVER us was: 1) Four floors and tower of Cityspire next door, which is SAID to by 75 floors and which is actually LACKING three of those floors, 2) the VERY tip of the 50th Street Wordwide Plaza tower, 3) Three floors and all the "RCA" sign at the top of the RCA building, which is only 68 floors, nominally, 4) Triangular (floorless) top of Citicorp building on 53rd, 5) Three spire-segments of Chrysler Building, above the Cloud Club, 6) LEVEL with the helipad on top of the Pan Am building, 7) level with the balcony 5-6 floors BELOW the Empire State Building's 86th floor observation platform, and 8) level with the very top of the Equitable building on 7th Avenue. The Queens Citicorp building was below, the roof of Trump Tower was about the same height as the roof of the General Motors building, both below us by 5-6 floors. There was a FEELING of motion that Dorothy Hunter shared in the hallway, but no OBJECTIVE motion visible when lining up parts of the roof with distant objects. At least the tour was worth it for THAT, and the spectacular glassy top of the Hutton building on 53rd in from 6th, which he said he'd look into for NEXTyear.