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2009 3 of 7

FRIDAY, 5/1/09: Cough a lot and pee at 2:09. 4:45: Pee and shit a bit and take three Rolaids and water---legs and hands tingly, stomach full---is MY heart going off? Make a note to see Chin today: 1) Tingles, 2) Valium Rx, 3) PSA test to check stopping Avodart. 5:40AM: Just can't sleep, so I get up and at 5:55AM I start DELECTING "olddrive", which is complete on EDGE, BUT realize that if the RECYCLE bin TAKES C-drive storage, it'll FILL UP! The C:\OLDDRIVE\C6 has 4.36 gigabytes, with the C-drive has only about one gigabyte free. But at 6:10AM I start deleting and it finally says "Too big for recycle bin, just delete?" And I answer Yes. Now my C-drive has 5.48 gigabytes free! Do Spider 6:15-7:20 to 204 up after 3 wins. Start catching up with NI, and at 8:30AM try Ken first at his apartment, then at work, and he says that I literally DID, as I maliciously suggested, "catch him between two stools." He called last night while I was at the Beard and got back too late to call him. He's got the previews, and they've added at 6/27 GAY buffet for $75, with various foods and mixologists, which I don't particularly care for, but he said he went once before and it was GREAT, and I can't resist the GAY part of it, so I say yes. Then he also hits me with a $200 Momofuku on 8/20 which I ALSO can't refuse, since I can't see getting to Momofuku any other way, and it'll certainly be a sensation---if it's still available. He says he'll call me later. I then try Chin at exactly 9AM, but the switchboard isn't open yet. Try again at 9:15 and get an officious clerk who says he'll TRY to fit me into Chin's full schedule today, but he'll have to call me back in the next 30 minutes. So I can't call Tris now at 9:30AM, as I wanted, having to wait for HIP to get back to me. Guy calls back at 9:42 and I get to Chin's office at 10AM, being taken at 11, and out at 11:11 to wait for blood-taking, having left two containers of urine. Out of that at 11:30, and go to the opticians to get both glass-frames fixed, which he does quickly and expertly. Home at 11:45 to have good eggs and muffin and cheddar cheese sauce to 12:10PM, and then bring this up to date. Go to the gym early, then home for a HH call about my two sets of meals next week, have lunch, getting a new HH package AND my vitamin C. Then start printing all the BUTANEPA pages, then catch up with all the DREAM pages, then print pages 2-4 of NI, getting everything printed out, marveling at the endurance of the ribbon, and of me, now VERY tired and sweaty at 8:15PM. Left word with Tris to call me, but he never did. Anita calls at 4PM to tell me about Allegretti special, and then phone Colleen who expresses pleasure that Ken registered me and him for the Gay Buffet, and she says her birthday is on May 5, so I mark it in my calendar to phone her that day. GREAT BEARD STUFF! Have dinner and put away a few trip things before going to bed at 10:15PM, TIRED!

SATURDAY, 5/2/09: 1:35AM: Reflux, pee, take three Rolaids, type dream. At 5:30 I have a sore THROAT; pee and take two Fisherman's Friends. Decide to j/o 6:30-8AM, then read the Saturday Times until 9:10, when I have breakfast. Then decide I MUST start cataloging my CDs and DVDs, and cut out narrow strips of label to put on the backs of the jewel boxes I got from Sherryl, and put disks into the computer slots to see which has what. Tire of that quickly; have a late lunch; try to get to Favorites to find more books and movies and it just doesn't work. Figure that something might be locally wrong with Verizon and decide to try again tomorrow. Start a new card (18) for Spider from 4:45-6:45, GREAT to 50.59137 at 209 up after 7 wins. Have a late dinner, then decide to start Sunday's puzzles for a break in my routine, but I don't get very far with either of them before my eyes start closing and I get to bed at 12:05AM Sunday.

SUNDAY, 5/3/09: Type dream at 4:40AM. Up at 8:03AM, not feeling that rested. Could I have caught the swine flu? Have a cold? Still suffering from jet-lag? Get the Sunday Times and go through most of it before stopping to have breakfast with the Book Review and the Magazine. Then at 10:55AM decide I have to fix my computer, but decide to type the process into COMPCHRO. During the Malware scan of 147,676 items from 11:25-12:27 I talk to Marj 11:25-12:05; order six ABT tickets for $411 and phone Charles about them and maybe going to Strand Bookshop to search for Bhutan and Mandala books; leave word with Spartacus, who calls back 2:10-2:15 to say he'd gone back out of town with his sister, and DID go to the Bronx Zoo, but with a young cousin that he didn't think I'd want to be with; leave word with Steve, who calls back 2:30-2:35 to say that the next MAN is the afternoon of 5/17 at the Leslie/Lohman, but I sadly have to say I've already committed myself to the Games Group that afternoon; and leave word with Fred, who I guess is out of town; Rita's busy at first, but then get her and she's busy packing for five days in Indiana and will call me back after that; and talk to Piri 12:15-12:25. Talk to Dell 12:34-1:45, fixing the computer, and I try Zagat, which has a deadline of May 17 to get in my evaluation for a free 2010 copy, so I register my votes from 1:52-3:05PM, putting in my votes for top 5: 1) Corton, 2) Telepan, 3) Gordon Ramsay, 4) Chanterelle, and 5) Ruth's Chris. Have lunch while watching the program on tattooing I'd taped last week, then get to Spider at 4-5:30, interrupted by Tris calling 5:30-6:30, roughly, and I give him my list of 4/30 corrections, committing myself to sending him a corrected Beard batch #001-099 and a new journal page for 6/6/94 typed HORIZONTALLY, rather than vertically. Then continue Spider 6:30-7:55, going up and down and ending with an "ug" (after four sessions in one day, another no-no) at 50.59117 at 208 up after two losses, deciding I can watch "Old Curiosity Shop" on a rerun and have dinner while watching two programs on Siamese twins: two 16-year-old girls and two 57-year-old "oldest surviving, and only male" rather disgusting pair. Eyes closing at 10PM, so I get to bed at 10:10PM. Something MUST be wrong!

MONDAY, 5/4/09: Wake at 3:14 to pee, throat very sore, taking two aspirin and two Fisherman's Friends. Up at 6:28 to type dream, and then catch up with Medical and COMPCHRO to 7:48, and up to date with NI now at 8:05AM, ready for breakfast. Made minimal list for today: 1) pick up CVS valium, 2) gym, 3) Corton at 6PM with Ken. Have breakfast to 8:40AM, starting a "Monday did" list. Sort through things on dining-room table and update details on computer to 9:40AM, everything taking AGES. DID type the contents of "another card" mentioned at the start of the BUTANEPA pages. Managed to get "FREE laundry" out of notecard 9, but "7, mpal LOST" remains a mystery. Phoned Beard to leave word about Charles coming to the 6/27 Gay Buffet. Still have enough energy to continue at 9:45AM. Have breakfast, do puzzles to 12, phoning Marj at 11AM to just get her message: the NERVE! Rita calls 12:20-12:30 from Atlanta airport. Start Spider 12:55-1:36PM, when Marj calls back 1:36-2:40, and then resume Spider when we hang up at 2:40, continuing to 3:30, a good session to 50.60507 at 213 up at 7 wins. Clearly I'm not going to the gym today. Get to a good meal at Corton with Ken, Liebrandt nowhere in evidence; mostly new wait-staff, except possibly for the sommelliere, from whom I order a good glass of Riesling for $15 which I nurse through the meal. Ken can't POSSIBLY get the same wine, so he orders a half-bottle of Meursault for $58 and confuses the billing when HE gets all the tax on HIS bill, but I point out that his MEAL is charged for less, while MY meal is charged for MORE, which is MY part of the tax. Back about 8:40, read mail, and get to bed at 10:10PM.

TUESDAY, 5/5/09: 5:13AM: After a seven-hour-straight sleep! Take two aspirin for my sore throat after typing a dream, before peeing, blowing nose and adding a blanket. Note the cold (18 degrees C, 51 degrees F) morning at 5:33AM and get up at 7:27AM. I read about Susan Boyle's YouTube singing from New York magazine and go to the site and cry a number of times. Call Marj at 11AM and we talk about Susan Boyle, and I play her the YouTube excerpt, crying again, and we talk until after noon. Try to catch up on other things, have lunch, and play Spider 3:15-4:33, when I have to get ready to go to Sharon's, taking the laundry out first and picking up my CVS prescription for valium afterwards, with two packets of candy, of which I devour the "soft-center" one after eating dinner while watching "The Old Curiosity Shop," severely abridged into a hour and a half. Back to Spider 6:15-9:15, violating my principles and finishing a poor session down at 50.61273 at 216 up after 2 wins, after trying after 6:30 to get to a new record when I achieved 50.62184 at 219 up after 7 wins, and then just CAN'T STOP, hoping to better my former record of 220 up from 3/25! Get to bed at 11:40PM after finishing with TV and reading the summary of the Dickens novel in Masterplots, eyes NOT having closed during the show, which is progress. But didn't bother to type up Sharon's session.

SHARON B. 98 5/5/09

Get there a minute after 4:45 on her office clock, thinking she might be talking with her supervisor in the adjoining office, but she comes out of her room and invites me in. I say that I'm mostly recovered from the trip, having gone to Chin on Friday to get blood and urine tests just to make sure I'm still not affected in some way by the trip. I said I felt at about 40% "well" during our last session, and now feel between 80-90% OK, mentioning that I had the "reward" at the gym today of THREE nice bodies to watch, but complained that my "libido" isn't quite back, describing taking one, then TWO Viagra to try to "perk things up," but it didn't really work, maybe because I was still tired from the trip. Reported on a number of GOOD things, including instructing her to watch the YouTube of Susan Boyle; my meal at Corton last night with Ken rather out of sorts but my handling it; my "pissing Marj off" and seeming to make it better with her, saying SHE doesn't hold a grudge, as Mildred and my mother always did: quoting things I did wrong YEARS ago just to make me feel bad, again, about "hurting" her; my Beard tomorrow night; my e-mailing the more demanding of my two Prime-Timers' friends and letting the other wait a bit more; catching up on MOST things from the trip, delighted at the photos and movies from it; mentioning my luxury with lots of time to spend. Then we got into my "guarding what I say" with Mildred, something I now have to do a LITTLE bit with Marj, but value Carolyn because I NEVER have to do that. Cite the beginnings of that back in early grade school, when I had to "talk down" to be accepted by my classmates, knowing that I couldn't APPEAR to be as smart as I was or they wouldn't like me. Sharon's amazed that I remember such a detail from that far back, asking how I felt about it then and how I feel about it now. We both remark about the GAP between the SUPER-SPECTACULAR looking people and the "ordinary" people we see most of the time, though we both admit we'd be willing to pay the price of being constantly stared at just for being physically devastatingly good-looking. I talk a few minutes BEYOND 5:30, mentioning that to her, and she says that next week's meeting will be on Wednesay, as usual. We mention the awful weather, I wish her a good day off tomorrow, and leave to get home to finish the Spider I left off to get to her.

WEDNESDAY, 5/6/09: Pee at 2:47, amazed to find myself HOME in the moment when I woke and wondered how to get to the bathroom. Then wake at 7:03 and perversely think to play with myself, and j/o 7:15-8AM, just to DO it. Put everything away, dress, put in the Neo dreams from after the trip, deleting all the files from it, and catch up with this at 8:50AM before typing Sharon's session. Finish that by 9AM, now ready to indulge my impulse to try to find Elaine Page singing some of her hits on YouTube. Great performances of "Mem'ries," "Don't Cry for Me, Argentina," and "that" song from "Les Miz." Then try Puccini and Webber and don't get very much except that "The Music of the Night" is stolen from "Fanciulla del West." Finish that by 9:55AM, having left word with Chin to get back with my test results, and with Beard wishing "her" a happy birthday today and for the whole next year. Now to my Spider fix! OK to 10:40AM to 50.61826 at 218 up after 3 wins. Now to breakfast! After that, I decided to bite the bullet and phone about my Form 5500. After three people shuffled me around, I was put on hold until 12:50PM, actually getting an apology from the woman who talked to me about the number of complaints about long hold times. The last word was that I could submit my Form 5500-EZ (which I requested after ANOTHER few shuffle-arounds) and say on the top: "This replaces my Form 5500 submitted 4/4/09; I didn't understand it wasn't Form 5500-EZ until it was too late, fooled myself into thinking it had to be in by 4/15, and submitted it in error." That leaves me just enough time to get out to Circle in the Square for the second play of "The Norman Conquests" at 1:35PM with no hassle for picking up my Audience Extras ticket after 1:30PM. OK play, good acting, though I thought at first the audience laughter was rather "canned," maybe from their having seen the first part and knowing who these people were already. Out at 4:10 and subway home for a snack before the Beard tonight, getting my first Netflix disk of this season, then responding to a call from Ken, at home, ordering his Delta flights for our trip, saying I would have to do it on the website on my own to save the $20 fee for making the reservation on the phone. He gives me the flight numbers, dates (a bit too long a trip at 22 days, but I'll survive), and times, and I go to the site and specify "Lowest price," which gets me ONLY the cheap return flights that have an 18-20-hour layover in Amsterdam on another carrier! Call Ken back and bitch at him, then call Delta and bitch at HER, so that she berates me for "screaming at her" on the phone, and then go back to the website with the inspiration to go, not by cheapest fare, but by schedule, and there's the proper return flight for $997.83, which Ken verifies, though it HAD been quoted more cheaply before, AND he said that I said I HADN'T chosen "cheapest fare." Anyway, buy it on the web, selecting two good seats, and then Spartacus calls about 6PM to ask what I thought about the play, criticizes Ken's choice to fly to Manchester, saying he should have chosen Bristol, and then stays on the phone so long that I say I HAVE to get out to the Beard, checking my e-mail to find that I'm billed $125 for it, so it WASN'T a special, as Anita had sort of told me (so I misinterpreted her!) it was. Arrive with THREE people in the atrium at 7:03AM, good-looking Jim appears alone and I start a conversation with him, not recognizing his "date," Laurie, until she appears, slight embarrassing since he'd previously confessed to me that he was going through a divorce, so clearly Laurie was his NEXT partner. A phalanx of appetizers come out when we're still only about seven, endless treats. Anita arrives, Laurie arrives, we're all at the same table 4, and when I get up the charming Domitilly (as I think she spelled it) sits mext to me with her birthday-husband Louis, both of whom speak French with the French headwaiter (and who puzzle me when they LEAVE before dessert without saying a word of farewell to the table---but they'd only gone out, the first time, to smoke, doing the second time somewhat later), and the food and conversation is just wonderful. Rose keeps talking about June 27, so I write myself a note when I get home with Dennis and Robert's phone number. Home about 10:15, look through the mail and play an OK Spider 10:40-11:50 to 50.612 at 216 up after three wins, and get to bed at 12:08AM, feeling good about what I did today.

THURSDAY, 5/7/09: Pee at 5:50AM and take two aspirin. Pee at 6:30, lay and think a bit, and at 7AM take two Viagra, do a very sexual Actualism session, and get up at 7:45 for a hard-enough j/o session to 8:40, retaining a slight bit of the "blue outside" effect of the Viagra even as I type now at 9:35AM. Shit and read New York magazine to 9:10, leave a message with Colleen, HOPING it's not cut off and that she'll call me back about 6/27 AND Friday lunch, which Rose said I MUST attend because they're planning a surprise birthday bash for Fred. Desk still cluttered with things that are almost all already accomplished, and I now insist on starting my daily Spider, just to clear THAT off the desk. Play to 10:15, when Spartacus calls, Audience Extras not up yet, and I summarize the Beard evening for him, then get back to Spider at 10:35 and win two games and stop, even though my score is just marginally worse. Now hungry for breakfast at 10:40AM. Make a few phone calls and catch up with a minimal number of things before more Spider 12:40-2:05, good to 50.62022 at 219 up after 5 wins. Then get a Schwab e-mail about GM preferred notes to be exchanged for common stock, and call Mildred, whose phone just rings and rings, and Shelley, who doesn't know much about it, and Spartacus, who doesn't help much except to agree with my decision to do nothing. Then just don't feel like doing anything, so I watch "Sunshine," a three-generation Jewish saga starring Ralph Feinnes (I'd thought it was Jeremy Irons to Spartacus, who knew I was wrong), have lunch during it, and get back to Spider 7:25-10:45 for a SHIT Spider to 50.59395 at 210 up after 4 losses finally force me to get off. Dinner and watch TV until bed at 12:50AM Friday.

FRIDAY, 5/8/09: Pee at 6:57AM and up at 7:44. It occurs to me to check the billing dates of old ASME indexes to see if my September-October trip with Steve will conflict with them: it will! Make notes to 1) phone him, 2) try e-mailing Len and the other Prime Timer to see if they want to attend the Beard on 6/27, 3) check Delta e-ticketing, 4) order HH ONLY for the second part of next week, 5) call Mildred about GM, 6) call Steve about 6/27. Shave my beard for Fred at the Beard at noon. Leave word with Robert Workoff just before 9AM; call Mildred, who complains about other things before agreeing with me to do nothing about GM; call Robert, who coincidentally has just returned from Halifax on Monday where he closed on a house the likes of which he'd been shopping for for the past four and a half years, sitting in Chickenburger when the Monday train to Montreal goes past, and who will try to get the pages to me early for the October 1 print-date for the catalog; find the Delta ticketing on e-mail; call HH and order meals. Have a quick breakfast, phone Beard for other reservations but say I'll maybe drop in on them around lunch today, and get off to the gym. Finish in good time and get to the Beard at 12:05PM to a jammed garden, putting my napkin next to Fred's seat at table 4, gloriously decorated for his birthday by Rose. Fred W. is his usual pushy self, Madeleine glumly sits two seats away from Fred, ceding his right-hand to me, Helen insisting on the left. Breakfast is lots of fun, Fred taking dozens of pictures, and I leave about 3 to subway to the Brooklyn Botanic to see the end of the cherry blossoms, the mid-point of azaleas, a few early rhododendrons, one remaining yellow magnolia tree, only one or two early climbing roses, a new little orchid outside the still-constructing orchid area, not much interest in the bonsai area or the greenhouses below, the last of the dying tulips, goldfish clumped at one end of the waterlily-less pool, lots of koi flocking to the no-feeding Japanese house, a rich blossoming of peonies, which one kid, reading the sign, called "Japanese Tree Ponies," a final smell of the last lilac, and appreciations of the masses of prime-time wisteria. Tired home after 5PM for other small tasks before leaving at 6:20 for the Met, again having no trouble picking up the ticket, so I'm back to Avery Fisher Hall to sit and read my New Yorker until getting my right-aisle seat at 7:30 to "Trovatore," with a very minor cast who tries to sing loud, but not beautifully, the soprano makes an ugly sound trying for an interpolated high note, and the Di Luna has a decent-enough voice, while the audience seems to like the mediocre Manrico. Home about 11:30, have a snack for a late dinner, and get to bed at 1:07AM, exhausted.

SATURDAY, 5/9/09: Pee 4:52AM, wake about 8:45, still tired, and Steve roots me out of bed at 8:55AM, saying he's willing to go to the Beard for $85 on 6/27, is amused by Robert Workoff's coincidence in Halifax, and unfortunately says the next MAN date conflicts with the Games Group, which I already told Piri I'd attend. Read the Times during breakfast, finishing two articles in the Magazine before getting ready for the Brooklyn Heights House Tour, jotting down my stunning realization at 12:10PM that the RED on my pillowcase is from my EYEMASK! Get to the line on Pierrepont at 12:20, which starts moving at 12:30, Charles still not there, and get to a charming French woman who gives me all three tickets about 12:40, Charles STILL not there. I give him until 12:45, and walk back in to the French woman to write, "I waited until 12:45; I'll be at 42 Remsen." Out at 12:50 for one last look-around for Charles, and start walking west to meet a flustered Charles who says, "You weren't going to wait for us?" I shout back for him to see the French woman while Paul looks on in amazement, and Charles grits his teeth and says, "I won't see you anywhere today." I stand on the lengthening line at 42 Remsen, get in at 1PM, and find that the enormous place is owned by Stephen O., who isn't in the phone book. Copy down the wonderful beginning of the Caribbean quote "The House: When you move into a new house, remove old spirits by washing around the windows and doors with vinegar water. But, prevent spirits from crossing the doorstep by putting salt and pepper along the door and window sills. Trimming the windows in blue will ward off hags, witches and other evil spirits. Wall paper your home with newspaper, before a hag can bother you, it must read every word, and if it can't read, then there you go." Great house to 1:15, talking to Charles, apologizing to him as his eyes redden and he says I was very cruel to attack him while he was still in pain in the months since selling the building. Apologize to Paul, and we talk while going to Hicks Street, where I give Charles his tickets and he gives me his check. Line is longer, and we're out at 2PM to wait at 2 Sidney Place, getting in at 2:@7 and out 2:44. Into 128 State Street (Miles D. IS in the phone book) 3-3:24, ALL of them full houses with MANY steps to climb, so we stop off at the Plymouth Church for a dozen cookies and near-brownies and 4-5 glasses of iced tea and lemonade for extreme fatigue from 3:45-4:15, amusing Paul by keeping all the times, borrowing a pen from Charles when I'd dropped mine somewhere. Then to 51 Cranberry 4:15-4:50, and up to my place to play Susan Boyle's YouTube for them, and show off my HH menus and travel maps and expenses. They leave about 6PM, I do Spider 6-6:50, OK to 50.59949 at 212 up after 3 wins, and I finish the Times and ridiculously get back to Spider 8-9:25 to an OK 50.60486 at 214 up after 3 wins, but MORE ridiculously continue to 12:15AM to 50.60431 at 214 up after 5 wins after, clearly, MANY MANY losses! Watch "Dard-E-Disco" for 1:25, while having dinner, barely sustaining interest in the 52 Bollywood production numbers, and get to bed at 2AM, already comatose.

SUNDAY, 5/10/09: Pee at 9AM, wonderfully sleeping through seven hours. Read my website, including "Gain" and much travel, finding a typo of LLOKING on SPRAINFRANCE2 near the bottom, to 11:15. Breakfast with the Times, then can't resist Spider 12-3:25, awful, to 50.58378 at 207 up after 3 wins, then have lunch while watching "Grey Gardens" with good Jessica Lange and Drew Barrymore, and continue with five hours, having dinner, of "Kings" which begins to lose interest after an initial good start. Then decide that 10:30 is too early to go to bed and get back to an UG Spider 10:40-11:35PM to 50.58359 at 207 after 2 wins. Bed at 11:55PM, trying not to brood over WASTED day!

MONDAY, 5/11/09: Up at 9:19, over NINE hours sleep! Must have really NEEDED it! Pee, type dream, and decide to catch up with NI until 10:40AM, NOT resisting Spider 10:40-12, good to 50,59466 at 211 up after 5 wins. Breakfast to 12:30, take two bags of garbage out by 12:40, read the Sunday Times to 1PM, TV Guide to 1:55 with the sudoku. Then fix the living room from the Saturday visit to 2:15. To the gym to 3:45. Then lunch and Oprah (Marj called about Susan Boyle being on, but it's not very much) and Shelley to 5:20. Read New York magazine to 6PM, and get involved in the Metro puzzles to 8:30, having to do the "hard" sudoku FOUR times after three mistakes! Clean up the living room floor from old mail to 9:15, putting stuff to sort onto the coffee table. Watch "Tell No One" with dinner to 12, finding New Yorker review from July, 2008, that made me put that movie on my list. Bed at 12:20AM, seemingly recovered from the trip.

TUESDAY, 5/12/09: Pee at 6:30AM and type dream, putting a lot of stock into the theme that it's my LIFE that I can do WHAT I WANT WITH, now that I've settled my mania for travel for a while. Take Viagra at 7:10 and do Actualism until I start to j/o at 7:40, finishing at 9:30 while starting a DVD for Porn 5 from VHS tape C. Then have breakfast and start getting rid of stuff from my desk, giving Colleen Mildred's visa number and adding Carolyn to my visa for 6/27. Do a horrible Spider 12:10-3, not even recording my awful results, but have to have lunch before the Beard this evening. Finally get to the visa bills, getting everything off the desk and onto piles on the coffee table. Print out the previous pages from NI and now at 5:55PM I'll check what dream pages can be printed out, checking that the last page printed is 79. Print those and start a Spider at 6-6:35, stopping for the Beard with Ken, not really that great: not the appetizers, not the foods, nor the people at the tab(*3ugh Fred was there to distract from Ken and vice versa. Fred sure filled up his plastic bags. Back to finish the Spider 11-11:07, OK at 50.57413 at 204 up after 3 wins. Bed at 11:55PM.

WEDNESDAY, 5/13/09: Wake at 4, pee at 6, when I take two aspirin and 2 Rolaids. Up at 9:45, obviously affected by the food and wine last night. Have breakfast and do Spider 10:05-11:35, OK at 50.57949 at 306 up after 3 wins. "Sunshine," the science-fiction movie, came in yesterday with TWO sets of commentaries, and it was interesting enough that I watched BOTH of them, breaking off partway through the third to see Sharon, with whom I had a great session, after depositing Charles's check and picking up Stamp Catalog volumes 3 and 4 (since they didn't have 1 and 2). Decided to start reading "Last Last Chance," which seems to be a great book, before going to bed at 12:45AM,

SHARON B. 99 5/13/09

Get there at 4:46PM, to find her standing in the outer office, probably wondering if I was going to come in or not. I said this small lateness was NOT part of the wonderful freeing I felt with the dream that I read her from yesterday morning, which she was very positive about also. Told her about my anger with Charles, and then my apology, and she said both of them were good. Again emphasized how I felt my last 3-4 years were SO involved with planning for, traveling on, and catching up with so many trips that it felt PARTICULARLY freeing not to have a trip coming up immediately, and I was ALMOST caught up with the previous trip, in fact picking up the Schwab visa statement after this session which allowed me to figure the numbers for the Bhutan/Nepal trip. I may have THOUGHT about this before, but now I was EXPERIENCING the freedom, and I liked it. Mentioned the "Alzheimer's moment" of forgetting it was Friday, and free, when I went to the Brooklyn Botanic Gardens, but it didn't bother me THAT much. Spoke of talking with Marj, watching movies, deciding to order books to read from the library, deciding to do stamps, probably tomorrow, which REALLY meant I was feeling like I had time to spare. She and I were both VERY pleased with the session, and it passed through my mind (at which Marj was aghast until I told her it was ONLY a thought!) that maybe I'm sort of FINISHED with therapy for awhile? But we'll see what comes up next time. Signed her sheets and went out to get groceries, lovely bacon for self-indulgence, and they didn't have apple juice so I had to try some alternatives.

THURSDAY, 5/14/09: Pee 5:30AM, up at 8:25 to shit and j/o to 9:30 with porn 5, not that great, but good enough. Had breakfast while the stamps were soaking, talked to Marj and Spartacus, checked Audience Extras to find no more "Norman Conquests," and sent out various pieces of mail trying to catch up with the stacks on my coffee table. Then, sadly, caught up with volumes 3 and 4 of the 2008 catalog COMPLETELY: still a lot too new to catalog, having lunch in the middle, filling my pill boxes, too lazy to put the dupes away so I just started a stretch of envelopes for those. Played my daily Spider OK to 50.58221 to 207 up after 2 wins. Watched "The Counterfeiters" from Netflix on my computer, another Holocaust movie that seemed to get an "automatic" award for being only slightly different, but interesting in that it filled the WHOLE screen quite CLEARLY. Then, reluctant to pull myself away from movies, searched through the "watch now" section until I found "A Scanner Darkly," a silly "rotoscoped" (animated over the real people) movie that ONLY worked in the fantasies of friends turning into cockroaches, but it was SILLY to cover up the innate "movieness" of Keanu Reeves, Robert Downey, Jr., and Woody Harrelson. Stupid plot, too, with lots of added stuff, from a short story by Philip K. Dick. Read a bit more of "Chance" and CAN'T find my EARPLUGS! I KNOW I jerked off with them, but they weren't in the living room. Nor in the kitchen, nor in the bathroom. Finally I just get a NEW pair and get to bed at 12:40AM.

FRIDAY, 5/15/09: Shit at 8:04, have breakfast of the last oatmeal for a while, freezing the rest of the milk, doing my daily Spider 9:30-11:15 to 50.58757 at 209 up after 4 wins. Make my bed and find my EARPLUGS in the sheets, for which I have to call Marj, of course. Then ACTUALLY get a folder for the Bhutan/Nepal papers and a box for the hat, prayer shawls, and bulky papers, and CLEAR AWAY THE TRIP STUFF AT LAST. Then take down the contents of the top shelf, bind it back together, move the whole shebang to the right, and put the stuff back. It's actually getting DONE! Call Charles to say we'll meet in the seats for Mark Morris tonight, Edgardo calls to firm up his WEEK with me in August, and I have lunch after the food comes in downstairs, which came when I was ordering next week's meals. Decide to do the Form 5500-EZ, fix the desk lamp which broke two days ago, putting back Pope's replacement for another time. Put other things away from the coffee table and decide to catch up with this to 6:20PM, STILL not totally caught up, but well along the way! Other things, like washing the windows, will clearly soon take priority. Shelley FIRST scheduled our trip to her boat at 11:30AM, then called just now to CHANGE it to 10:30AM! Finally have a set of PILES on the coffee table, roughly 14 of them, none of them urgent, many for museums to see with Prime-Timer friends. Get out early for Mark Morris, reading the program before Charles sits down at 7:57PM, and the theater is hard to find: both the entrance from the street and the proper door for our seats inside the theater itself. The program says it will be about three hours, so during the first intermission I stand on line at the meager concession and buy the last wrap (turkey and lettuce) and a brownie, having time before the short intermission ends to eat only two large bites of the wrap before putting it into my pocket for the approval of the usherette, knowing there's no food allowed in the theater. "Mark Morris's Romeo and Juliet From Motifs by Shakespeare" isn't as original or exciting as hoped: the production is elegantly skimpy, only folding-door side walls, minimal daises for the friar's cell and the bridal bed, and peasant-like costumes for the townspeople and minimal finery for the nobles. The choreography is simply a lot of leaping around: not having the whores, minstrels, or shopkeepers of Macmillan's production for the Royal Ballet means that the music, very much uncut, is taken up by similar leaping, arguing, fighting, showing off (one fellow does pushups and handstands) that doesn't differentiate much from scene to scene. Charles isn't overwhelmed either, but the audience likes it well enough, only once applauding during a musical interlude where they're "shhed" by me. We move toward the center four seats when they're not taken in our balcony row, eliminating some blocking heads from our side seats. The second act isn't much of an improvement over the first, the choreography doesn't change much, and it appears that all the repeats are kept which the Royal may have cut out for brevity. Finish the wrap and the VERY fudgy brownie during the second intermission that Charles largely spends int the john, and the third act is over about 10:45, when we dash to the Irene Diamond Center for a couple hundred empty chairs, so we're back to watch the final applause with an officious usher demanding that we let the doors close, and then that we get out of the way when the doors are actually open. Mark Morris, a historian, and the program-note writer ask and answer their own questions, interesting enough, until 11:45, when we're down for the A train which goes to Jay Street and I have to take the train back. Bed at 1:25AM.

SATURDAY, 5/16/09: Pee at 8:15AM, get the Times, up at 8:52, read the Book Review during breakfast, and almost immediately it's time to dress and leave to meet Shelley at 10:30 for the car to World Yacht with her cousin Rebecca from Texas who's staying with her. Among the first on the pier at 11, waiting for the boat to open at 11:35, and Carol talks about her ten-year-ago trip to Bhutan and suggests I talk to Rena, who was there only a few years ago. Chat with Shelley's sister (Sharon?) and a few others to whom I'm introduced. Board among the first, get a glass of wine, and go to the top deck to look at the fog-shrouded Empire State Building, the barely visible George Washington Bridge, and the Intrepid and enormous Carnival Miracle and smaller, older, Rotterdam docked at uptown piers. The Beast roars out on its first trip of the day, and when I raise my glass of wine to those who wave up at us I hear some comment from their guide "A bit early for drinking," but it IS after noon! Down to be offered a seat next to a couple who've come up from Florida, Elise having had scheduling counseling from Shelley 30 years ago at New Jersey State College and remained friends through the years. An older woman on the upper deck shared a trip with Shelley 20 years ago and traveled in groups with her since. Get a plate of veggies and cheeses to snack, back up top to watch the scenery pass with her cousin from San Francisco, and down for the buffet of chicken with mushrooms, salmon, pasta, vegetables, breads and butter-flowers on the table, and a Sea Breeze to drink because it looks so prettily pink. Small announcements and comments from Shelley and other guests, back up when we're turning around just before reaching the United Nations, seeing the Statue of Liberty framed by the Manhattan and Brooklyn Bridges, pointing out my building, seeing small craft passing, then looking at many new towers going up on the west side of lower Manhattan. Sun comes out briefly before we dock just after 3PM, and I help pack a "swag bag" for Shelley as she bids farewell to many of her friends before we go to the pier to await her car about 3:45. When it comes there are five of us who definitely won't fit, so I take a bus to the subway and get home about 5PM to feel woozy from so much booze, so I take two Viagra at 5:20 and sort through more porno, making more segments on porn 5, and finally cum, straining, about 7PM. That ends me with a headache as I watch my recording of the two-hour series finale of "Prison Break" while having a sort of dinner of my second bacon sandwich of the weekend, and when the headache intensifies I just decide to go to bed at 9:30PM, letting me wake when I will.

SUNDAY, 5/17/09: Pee at 3:05AM, and then decide I MUST brush my TEETH! Drink lots of water, pee again, and get to bed about 3:25 to wake again about 7AM, doze back off and dream and get up at 8:15---an astounding amount of time in bed! Type my dream and the preceding days to 8:55AM, now ready to dress, pee, and get into the day before the Games Group at 2PM, thinking I might try the gym at like 11:30, illegally, but they've always let me do it before. Print out a couple pages. Then I decide that the gym can wait until tomorrow, so I have breakfast while watching "Milk," with a really cute James Franco and a performance that, I suppose, deserves the Academy Award to Sean Penn. Don't quite finish the bonus programs before it's 1:10PM and I figure I'm going to be a bit late to the Games Group. Get there at 2:10PM, amazed that all the subways are working, rather than being misdirected somewhere, to find Alexandra and Harlach, or some Irish name like that, as two new members who seem enthusiastic enough by the end of the afternoon that they might actually return! We start with Boggle, go to Taboo, then try Scattergories according to Harlach's method of selecting only one letter by stopping someone mentally going through the alphabet, so that we get odder letters than usual. He's good at games, Barbara and I lose at Taboo, and we have lots of fun. I leave at 5:45 but with awful subway delays with enormously crowded trains, don't get home until 7:15. Settle for Spider 7:20-7:45, OK to 50.59028 at 210 up after 2 wins, watch "Victoria Falls" on Channel 13, not that great, then record "Wild" on Channel 21, have dinner, read the rest of the Times, skim through "Wild" and get to bed 11:30PM.

MONDAY, 5/18/09: Pee at 5:40AM, then type dream. Up at 8:03 and type another dream, catching up with this to 8:30AM, and add a card for setting up the Russia-China slides for Wednesday, making it item #19 in my coffee-table stack of things to do. Start of a monumental decrease in that stack! Now for breakfast and an early gym that will enable me to mail "Milk" before the 10AM pickup time. Start Spider 9:10-10AM to digest breakfast before the gym. Finish good 11:45-12:45 to 50.59557 at 212 up after 4 wins.

A HELLISH DAY!!! 5/19/09

TUESDAY, 5/19/09: 8:07AM: The hellish day was yesterday. Lay in bed this morning and thought about it---brooded about it---and decided to WRITE about all the components that led up to and multiplied through the day: BACKGROUND:
1) Kept telling myself that I had to clean my shoes from the dust of Nepal; the trip wouldn't "really" be over until I did that. Didn't do it yet.
2) Had thought my Russia-China slide presentation at 55 Pierrepont was on 5/27, but it turned out to be 5/20: I even called Leon to check that date, then left a message with Sharon that I'd mistaken the date. Still haven't done slides.
3) My left bedroom slipper has become increasingly dysfunctional. Still there.
4) Steve had told me he would buy my return-train ticket from Montreal to NYC, but I'd have to buy a Continental flight from Newark to Ottawa. Hadn't done it.
5) Had finally produced discrete stacks on my coffee table, but hadn't started handling them though they'd been there a number of days already.
6) Kept thinking my computer was STILL slow for e-mail and going to different programs. My "control-panel process list" is still in the 70s: has my computer been taken over for pirate processing? Still worried about it.
7) Had thought, WAY in the back of my mind, that my "too-good" session with Sharon on Wednesday might be opening me to disaster. So, it hit: DISASTER DAY:
8) Mailed "Milk" just after 10AM, got to the gym, felt EXHAUSTED just walking back from it: how could I EVER have felt I could do the Bhutan/Nepal treks?
9) Found "Nomi's Song" on YouTube after finishing Spider at 12:45PM; Marj called and talked ENDLESSLY about Nomi and (right up to my being about to say "OK, that's enough" dear) about "Her Tale of Life": only painting a door!
10) Looked at the Adventure Canada website for insurance, left word with Steve asking for details, annoyed with him for not keeping me more in the loop.
11) Paging through the Pre-Departure Guide, I find I should be sending FORMS to Adventure Canada before 5/29; feel annoyed with Steve for not WARNING me! Of course, I could have READ the thing when it came in about a month ago.
12) Rather randomly select dates and destinations for the insurance, annoyed that the printer prints page 2 of 2 first: I thought it was only ONE page. Refuse to print out the entire 23 pages---how crazy THAT would be!
13) Steve phones and says he's made reservations on a Continental flight from Newark because he finds it convenient to take the train from Penn Station and transfer to the monorail to the terminal at Newark. Well, I guess that's OK.
14) Phone John to tell him Steve insists the Zephyr, AMTRAK from Chicago to San Francisco, has at least three CARS of roomettes, but John insists he was told they only had TWO, and they were booked for months. Thanks a lot.
15) Phone Chin to try to make an appointment for signing my Adventure Canada medical-clearance form, but after holding for a long time, I'm hung up on!
16) Phone Charles about Nomi and slides on Wednesday; first "message-box full," then just LEAVE a message, and then ANOTHER message saying "You don't call!"
17) Find that Continental is no longer on Northwest Airlines-KLM WorldPerks!
18) Internet: Continental is not YET on United's frequent-flyer program.
19) Phone Continental but they tell me to call Northwest.
20) Internet: Northwest doesn't have a pin number for me; set one up.
21) Call Northwest and they say they can't help me: frequent-flyer miles aren't even GOOD for one-way flights, AND I don't have 25,000 miles, only 24,394.
22) Back to Continental on Internet: they SAY I can set up a OnePass account after I book my flight, but I can't book my flight without a OnePass account!
23) E-mail Continental about how their system doesn't work as they say it does.
24) Finally find a way to set up a OnePass account; it FINALLY allows me to book my flight!
25) Steve calls back to ask for my passport number and date of birth for the railroad ticket! It's 5:10PM and I've been working at this ALL DAY!
26) Managed to have a VERY small HH lunch about 3---not POSSIBLY 450 calories!
27) So frustrated about still-unfinished travel plans that I go back to Spider 5:20-6:30, OK to 50.59814 at 213 up after 2 wins.
28) Well, I'm so close to breaking over the 50.6 mark that I continue to 7:05PM to 50.60085 to 214 up after 2 wins.
29) OK, let's try one more round---and at 7:23PM it HITS me: I forgot about getting to 1010 Park Avenue for "Ruddigore" with Spartacus! Take a taxi? Too late. Phone him on his cell phone and apologize for not being there with him.
30) Finish next Spider round at 8PM OK at 50.60349 at 215 up after 2 wins.
31) DISASTER: CONTINUE with Spider to 10:50PM, getting as high as SIX consecutive losses, end up with a miserable 50.58605 at 209 up after 2 wins.
32) Tiny roach on my dinner plate! Big roach scurries across dining-room table!
33) Finish New Yorker and get to bed, miserable, at 12:23AM Tuesday.

Continuation of TUESDAY, 5/19/09: 8:56AM: Pee at 7:10AM and again at 7:40AM. Think to do Actualism, but the disastrous events of yesterday prey on my mind so much that I get up at 7:57AM, wash my face, pee again, and at 8:07AM start typing the events of the day. Wastebasket is totally overflowing, desk is cluttered with unfinished Adventure Canada papers, floor littered with various frequent-flyer plans, and I AGAIN have to try to get an appointment with Chin to sign my medical-release form, and to get my PSA figure from last week's test results. Just completely disgusted with myself now at 9AM, ready for a day that I hope is MUCH more productive than yesterday! With the slides for tomorrow a priority! Start keeping a list of tasks accomplished: 1) 9:02AM: Chin's service finally answers at 9:06: "Just come in, don't need an appointment. 2) LW Charles 9:07AM, 3) Get mail: Ridgewood survey to 9:27. 3) Breakfast to 9:50. 4) Spider to 1:05: MISERY. 5) Print Continental ticket AND insurance confirmation to 1:20. 6) 2:25 back from Chin, library, and LW Charles again. 7) Lunch to 3. 8) Russia-China slides IN trays to 6:15. 9) Labrador papers away and OAT profile to 6:40. 10) Spider 6:40-7:45 ANH. Get mail. 11) Talk to Rita 7:58-8:36. 12) Check slides to 9:17. 13) Dinner to 10:25. 14) Read to 11:12. Bed 11:30PM.

WEDNESDAY, 5/20/09: Wake 6:10AM. Up 8:20. Finish putting slide-show material together, have breakfast, and decide to start on stamps. The show goes well; I make a slot for the Mexico slides on July 15, being told that the third Wednesday is the traditional "open" session for me; Steve comes back to get a check from me for his train reservations and gives me lots of tickets. I check Internet and we decide Toque! looks close to the hotel and worth a try; he asks me to contact them to see if we need to dress formally to dine. Sharon had called to cancel, so I cross her off the list. Charles and Bill said they weren't coming to the slides, so I only had an audience of about 12. Do a Spider 7:20-8:10 OK to 50.58777 at 210 up after 3 wins. I finish the stamps and watch "World War II: Behind Closed Doors, part 3." Bed at 11:30.

THURSDAY, 5/21/09: 5AM pee and type dream. Up at 9:05. Do Spider 9:30-10:40 in two shifts, ending at 50.59593 with 213 up after 2 wins. Finish Maazel: Last Last Chance. Proofread EUROTRIP and part of ANTARCT. Go to the gym. Get to Lee early at 7:15 to wait until 7:45 for our Bamberg Symphony concert with Debussy's "La Mer," Bartok's Piano Concerto #2, and Stravinsky's "Rite of Spring," gratifyingly loud. Center seat, good sound, and I went to the penthouse on the 10th floor after for a question session. Back for a late dinner while watching the first act of Martins' "Romeo and Juliet," not that great. Bed at 1:10AM Friday.

FRIDAY, 5/22/09: Shit at 8:33AM. Do Spider 9:20-10:40 GREAT to 50.60692 at 217 up after 5 wins. Throw much of Rita's envelope away and go through credit-card reckoning until I get to Chin at 12, secretary saying he'll sign my Adventure Canada health-permit form. I wait and wait until 1:40, finally ask her what's going on, and he's SIGNED it and didn't bother to TELL anyone! Stop at the library and get the new guy in the reference division to try to reserve the newest Scott Stamp Catalogs volumes 1 and 2. Finally tell Colleen at Beard that my friends will NEED tables and chairs for the buffet! Mail off the Adventure Canada package, suddenly realizing I've already written my Visa check against my $6000+ balance, and will end up about $300 in the HOLE. Figure I can write them an HSBC check after phoning on Tuesday to see how much they charge for a check cashed in Canada. Finish watching "Romeo and Juliet," better in the second act, and watch "Wanted" with Angelina Joli, fun movie. Start Spider again at 6:20 ("just to pass time," I excuse myself) to stop at 6:37 in order to get to Koch Hall (new name for State Theater) for "Scotch Symphony," ending with music he used in "Midsummer Night's Dream," the new Millepied ballet "Quasi Una Fantasia" which is awfully grim to lackluster Gorecki music, and "Concerto DSCH" choreographed by Ratmansky, using a very smiling Joaquin De Luz as a great contrast to his grim Tybalt in the "Romeo and Juliet" recorded live last night, dancing which the guy who did Mercutio, Gonzalo Garcia, whom he killed last night, and a rather forlorn-looking Benjamin Millepied, having to hear the audience CHEER for this performance, while the reception of his piece was rather quiet. Last-row seats aren't the best. Again watch television with a late dinner, can't resist more Spider 12-1:25AM for a strain to get to 50.61217 to 219 up after 2 wins and many losses, and get to bed 1:30AM.

SATURDAY, 5/23/09: Up at 8:37, read the Times, do a disgusting Spider 10:15-1PM to a losing 50.60314 to 216 up after 2 wins and myriad losses, and decide to treat myself to solving the three puzzles, getting them all done by 3:50, when I'm drawn back to Spider 3:50-6 for a disaster of 50.59769 at 214 up after 2 wins. Reading more of Martial's Epigrams and the book on Entanglement. Just don't feel like doing ANYTHING. More awful Spider 8:30-10:25 to 50.5944 at 213 up after 4 wins, watch an AWFUL "JCVD" by Jean-Claude Van Damme "free" from Netflix, hating every awful minute of it, and get to bed 12:30AM Sunday.

SUNDAY, 5/24/09: Pee at 7:26, up at 8:26 for recording more onto Porn 5, getting automatic division of entries from VHS tape Y to about 27, and when I play them back I get so aroused I actually cum a SECOND time by 11AM! First in AGES! Can't resist Spider 12:40-2:42, stopping for the gym, then lunch and more reading, and a MAD prolonged Spider session from 5:20-8:45, ending with a depressing 50.59046 at 212 up after 3 wins and a string of as many as SIX losses. Determined to get through both books, though I find "Epigrams" too much for speedy reading, and my eyes finally close over "Entanglement." Bed 11:59PM.

MONDAY, 5/25/09: Pee and type dream 3:40AM. Up at 8:59. Read more, do Spider 9:25-11:30, finally good to 50.60676 at 218 up after 5 wins, have breakfast, read more, and at 2PM decide it's nice enough out (it's not raining, it's not too hot, it's not humid) to FINALLY get to the windows. Was so happy when I FINALLY cleaned my shoes on Thursday or Friday; I need another "productive" boost! Finishing in the bedroom at 2:45 when Marj calls, we go through her proofreading from 2:55-4:15, I have lunch, and then DISGUSTINGLY get back to Spider 5:10-9, finally ending at a new record of 221 up, but the score is "only" 50.61214, far below my 50.63503 for 220 on 3/25---EXACTLY two months ago! Then decide I MUST catch up with my NI, going strong to 10:07PM, printing out three pages, throwing out notes. Ken had asked me on Saturday to send him a check for $227.72 for our York-Cardiff train and some hotel, I called him on Sunday to suggest we dine at Ouest (meaning Sunday), but when he calls he wants to make it sometime in June, and I forget to put the phone in the living room back on the hook until 10PM, so I have to call him and apologize when he bitches about calling me for SIX busy signals! SORRY! Also used Google to find that an ounce letter to Canada is 75 cents. USEFUL! Now gotta have dinner at 10:10PM! Have dinner, then finish the text of "Entanglement" and start reading the glossary and notes, but get to bed at 12:40AM before finishing. Lay for ten minutes, and at 12:50AM decide to get up and look at Porn 5. Jerk off to 1:45AM. Get to sleep, and then, oddly, dream TWICE, which I typed by 5AM. Write myself a note that I'm too lazy to type into the computer: But ALSO yesterday morning my cock-tip oozed PEE as I woke and went to the john. THIS morning, after waking from dream and a few minutes later after TYPING the dream, it was wet with what felt like sticky pre-cum, even though I'd PEED after cuming at 1:50AM. Look to make sure it's not BLOODY. Worried! Try to get back to sleep after that, but my mind just went on and on and on, until I decided to get up at 6:11AM, loved looking at the fully risen sun (sunrise at 5:30AM already, just less than a month before the solstice) in the east and the East River traffic in the west: a tug pushing an enormous crane north, another tug pulling an enormous container ship or tanker (it rose with a few feet of bottom-red Plimsoll line showing, so it wasn't laden) south. Then typed the headline below and filled out the rest of this material here, returning below at 6:30AM.


TUESDAY, 5/26/09: 6:20AM: Started an Actualism session about 5:30, but the parade of thoughts continued through it, so there was nothing to do but get up and try to record them. Had thought of taking an ambien to get three more hours of sleep, but I didn't want to sleep too late or have any side effects, so I decided against it, thinking that an Actualism "meditation" might get me to sleep. But it didn't. Remember earlier this morning, after cuming, that before I went to sleep my mind LITERALLY had NO thoughts. No chatter. Nothing. Wondered if this was a sign of coming events---or non-events. But then, trying to get to sleep after typing (poorly) the contents of the 3AM dream and the 5AM sequel, I thought of my FEELINGS (thank you, Sharon) after the dreams: mostly a rueful sadness: sadness about the poor, handsome (who IS the 30s Hollywood actor with the photograph that sicks in my mind with his pencil mustache and slight smile: a co-star with---do I have to get the Academy Awards book to remember her name (yes, I do), the wife of the MGM boss---Norma Shearer! Look through her movies, expecting some name like John Loder, but only come up with Ian Wolfe and Philip Dorn---but maybe it WAS John Loder! But though I try all three names until 7:10AM on Google, none agree with my memory) soldier who likes to cross-dress, sadness at my having to hide my playing with toys before Mom gets home, ruefulness about Mom's sadness at the end of the party. Then, in no particular order, I remembered 1) some of my dynamite lovers: a) Carl Spring, and the athlete he "paid" to be with me at Stanford that I was too shy to take advantage of, b) Arthur M., who asked to be introduced to me and enjoyed being with me, c) Dennis, and d) John; 2) the people I'd invited to (or were coming to) the Beard's first Gay Buffet: a) Fred, b) Ken, c) Carolyn, d) Mildred, e) Steve, f) Dennis and Robert, g) my two Prime-Timers friends; 3) my recent "senior moments": a) not putting the phone in the living room back on the hook after talking to Ken, b) playing Spider until it was to late to meet Spartacus at "Ruddigore," c) not being able to remember names like Norma Shearer's!; 4) spending money: a) another tip to Ron?, b) another tip to Rose?, c) HH meals, d) travel, e) Beard meals, f) determining to phone Adventure Canada to find how much it would be if I paid by credit card, g) determining to phone Schwab to ask if there's a charge for cashing a check in US dollars in Canada; 5) things done: a) cleaning shoes, b) washing windows, c) reading books; 6) things yet to do: a) reserving more library books, b) phoning Doug to see why he didn't answer my e-mail sent on 5/17, over a week ago, about new museums to see, c) e-mailing Len to see how his trip was and again asking about the Beard and museums to see; 7) final things: a) talk to Rita about my long-term health-care insurance in case my "senior moments" become more prevalent, b) talk to Tris about next website steps---thinking about all the things yet to be transmitted: i) John, ii) USA and RTW trips, iii) travel-list update and past descriptions, iv) slides, v) videotapes; 8) reviewed the stacks on my coffee table: four for website: a) slides, b) videotapes, c) site map, d) DVD copies; four for museums: a) MoMA, b) Met, c) Williamsburg, d) masturbation; two for current-do: a) Chin for blood tests after 7 months, b) airlines miles; and a stack to be sorted through from recent activity; 9) REAL last things: a) I seem to be winding down toward senility and death: i) increasingly pleased by sifting through my rich past, ii) increasingly fearful of impending disability, iii) increasingly decreasing. Well, that didn't really work---in part, yes, but somehow I "missed" the richness of texture, the mixed happiness and sadness of the thoughts. But now I'm out of steam at 7:30AM. Lets average Spider use: played 79:30 in 26 of 28 days during period 4/28-5/25, an average of 3:04/day, really TOO much, though not really OUTRAGEOUS! File sheet in Personal file. That takes to 7:50AM, ready for an early breakfast before REALLY early dinner at the Tuesday Evening slide-benefit dinner.

More from TUESDAY, 5/26/09: 7:52AM: finish journal, ready for breakfast. Finish at 8:34AM, too early to phone anyone yet, so I get Garry Wills' "Martial's Epigrams: A Selection" and record the one I thought characteristic, on page 50: 2.62: Your pubic hair you trim to please your lass./ For whom do you so neatly groom your ass? Or page 79: 4.84: Men flock to Thais/ From north and south,/ Yet she's a virgin---/ All but her mouth. Also decide to note S. Pellegrino's 50 best restaurants in the world, found when looking for a good restaurant in Montreal for Steve's and my night there (underlined ones I've been to): 1. El Bulli, 2. The Fat Duck (in Bray-on-Thames in Berkshire, which Ken says we're not going near on our trip), 3. Noma in Denmark, 4. Mugaritz in Spain, 5. El Celler de Can Roca in Spain, 6. Per Se (best in USA), 7. Bras in Laguiole, France, 8. Arzak in Spain, 9. Pierre Gagnaire in Paris, 10. Alinea in USA, and then others of the top 50 I've been to: 15. Le Bernardin, 19. Jean-Georges, 27. Masa, 31. Momofuku Ssam Bar, 41. Daniel, 44. Tantris in Germany, 47. Les Ambassadeurs in Paris, down from TWO! So I've been to 6 of the top 10 and 13 of the top 50. Breakfast, sort through stuff in the last unsorted pile on the coffee table, and after 9AM call Schwab to find how to mail my Schwab One a check, and that there's no finance charge for a dollar check. Adventure Canada, having already GOTTEN my check, assures me that their US-based bank will levy no additional charges. To have paid by credit card would have paid $192 more. Make a portable map of my lifetime trips, sew up my bedroom slipper with the help of a makeshift thimble of papers and a pair of pliers, note that Ceasar called me last night and I referred his name to OAT, who will e-mail him about his hoped-for trip, with cash for him and me. I also note two portentous (not portentacular) openings I rehearsed for Marj: "The time has come / To begin to begin." and "It HAD to come!" Also got the PSA reading of 0.518 from my blood on 5/1/09 from Chin. Have lunch, then clear other things off the desk until I'm left only with airline-miles papers, so I go to Spider and have a terrible session from 2:35-4:35, when I have to stop to go to T.J.Byrnes for the Tuesday Evening Hour benefit, sitting at the table with Marjorie, ending up the only man at that table, and at 7PM starts a LONG slide show of 694 items! Some very good, and he praises me for saying, distinctly, "Water colors," for some of his artistic reflections of colors in the water. Back and try to finish with Spider starting at 9:15, but go through to 1:25AM before I FINALLY get a series of 6 wins, but I'd had SO many losses before that I'm down to 50.60194 at 217 up. Really CRAZY to do it so long: 6:10 in all! Bed eye-weary at 1:40AM.

WEDNESDAY, 5/27/09: Pee at 8:40AM. At 9AM make a list of 14 things to just get them off my mind: 1) Beard billing, 2) Doug/museums? 3) Air-miles lists, 4) Credit-card lists, 5) Pick up CVS prescription, 6) Sharon tonight, 7) Gym, 8) Reserve more library books, 9) Copy MC, 10) Watch "Life Without People," 11) Chin: lipids test, 12) Get groceries, 13) HH boxes out, 14) Papers/magazines out. Then get up at 9:29AM, shit, and go right to Spider 9:40-11:15, OK to 50.60441 to 218 up after 3 wins. Then watch 3 episodes of "Life Without People" and leave for the gym at 1:45. Back for lunch, with enough time to correct the Beard billing at 3:15, and watch the last episode of "Life Without People" that I taped yesterday. Then pick up the prescription before Sharon's at 4:45 exactly, then get groceries at 5:40, put things away, update my list, and do the seventh item, e-mailing Doug, at 6:20PM. Then start Spider again at 6:25, playing through to 8PM for the "Making of In The Heights" to just before 9, and back to Spider to 10:30, finally getting to 50.59266 at 214 up after 3 wins and lots and lots and lots of losses. Go through the last pages of "Entanglement" until my eyes close at the start of the Notes, and get to bed at 1:10AM.

SHARON B. 100 5/27/09

Didn't realize that THIS was my hundredth session until I typed it up on Thursday. Mentioned the awful day last Tuesday, which I briefly thought of a "punishment from my GREAT report of the previous Wednesday," and then she cancelled, she said, because of her "once or twice a month migraines." I briefly described the two "senior moments" of missing "Ruddigore" and not putting my phone back on the hook for Ken's restaurant call. Then inadequately described the dreams from Tuesday, during which she took many notes, ending with the earth-shaking "message" that "disappointments HURT." Described many of the details from the "musings" on Tuesday morning, adding the two early-childhood memories of "finding the birthday presents before not finding them when I was supposed to find them," severely disappointing Mom, for which I felt responsible, and then the "breaking the drum of the papier-mache figure to find the little presents," about which I did NOT feel guilty. Talked of the number of times when I really felt ADMIRED, and LOVED, but not mentioning, I recall now, Carl Sw., who was so touching when he wanted me to stay with him in his cliff-side apartment, needing the expansion to differentiate him from Carl Sp. who got me the date with the dynamic athlete at Stanford that I didn't know enough to take advantage of. The session went VERY quickly, it getting to 5:20 before I'd finished the first burst of enthusiasm. And even mentioned how admiring Marj was when I said I was washing my windows when she called on Sunday. Finished at 5:30 on the dot, saying how much I enjoyed my apartment at 6AM, looking at the traffic on the East River while enjoying the brightness of the just-risen sun.

THURSDAY, 5/28/09: Pee at 6:27AM, making a note to answer Toque. Doze and think, start Actualism but don't finish, and up, reluctantly, at 10:38AM. Have breakfast, play Spider 11:45-2:15 to a GREAT 50.60327 for 218 up after 9 wins; and then e-mail Toque, reading it back to Steve; reserve two more library books, seeing that my Scott stamp catalog is actually on request also; copy MC just to DO it, and at 2:45 call Chin to have him leave a slip for my lipids at the lab. Then start watching the extras and commentary on "Encounters at the End of the World," which I saw the regular show of last night, taking down the roped-together HH boxes at 4:45, and decide to catch up with Sharon's session-report and this by 6:30, VERY foggy and now rainy out---of course, since I washed my windows on Sunday! Decide to bundle up the papers and magazines and take them out, leaving only TWO items on my list: air miles and credit cards! Then get to the mail, doing the sudoku in the TV Guide, and add two piles for tomorrow: a trio of three consecutive operas in a series in March to bounce off Charles, and a website to look at a rehearsal of "On the Dnieper" to see if it's worth seeing at ABT the first week of June. With the note that my lipid tests are on the computer in the HIP lab, and the two remaining items on my do-list, my piles are down to 13, the lowest in ages, though ZolnerZone items are becoming increasingly pressing. Check the TV listings for this evening about 8:25PM and find that the Spelling Bee final started at 8, so I make dinner and watch that until 10:15PM, with seven of the final eight spellers non-Wasps. Watch the "Gray's Anatomy" that follows, just out of curiosity for the Bernadette Peters guest-role, and then do a Spider 11:05-11:55, OK to 50.60587 at 219 up after 2 wins. Check e-mail and get a WONDERFUL complete response from Anne at Toque, replying to her and forwarding the e-mail to Steve. Bed at 12:16AM, stuffed from too much food at dinner.

FRIDAY, 5/29/09: Hard getting to sleep with a stuffed stomach, getting up at 3:40AM for water and two Rolaids and a pee, almost having reflux. Up at 8:06 and get the dream typed out and this up to date by 8:32AM. So-so Spider 8:33-9:25 to 50.6028 at 218 up after 2 wins. Then have breakfast, and get back to Spider 9:45-10:15, interrupted for something, probably phone calls or jobs from the to-do list, resumed 11:50-1:45 for a good session to 50.608 at 220 up after 4 wins. Then lunch, and can't resist going BACK while waiting for someone (Victoria D'Angelo from the Met) to get back to me about printing out my tickets for Monday's performance, starting at 2:28, and it's going VERY well with 4 or 5 wins, and then she calls, and it goes back and forth, her teaching me how to use "Print Screen," which comes in VERY handy with the "lepsum ipsu" Greeking that Tris put in SIXTY-FIVE of my travel descriptions, so I could print THOSE out without having to COPY them. Mildred calls in the middle somewhere, too. Get everything settled and finish the printing of the tickets and get officially back to Spider from 5:15-5:40, with a glorious 50.62696 at 227 up after 8 wins! But it's still not equal to the high SCORE of 50.63503 on 3/25, and for curiosity I try to calculate with x and x+220 to figure what my number-won was THEN, but somehow the formula doesn't work, so I do it by trial and error, getting higher and lower until it turns out that 8771/8551 was the ratio, for a total of 17332 games, "only" 771 games before the current total of 18093. But that's STILL an average of TWENTY games for the 38-39 days I've played SINCE 3/25. Then Spartacus tells me about "Nature's Most Amazing Events" on the Discovery Channel from 8-10PM tonight, tomorrow, and Sunday---I try not to think that he says I should be able to RECORD high definition, and should CERTAINLY get the program guide, which my remote WON'T give me---and I watch the first pair on polar bears in the Arctic and salmon in the Northwest while having dinner, and get to bed at 11PM.

SATURDAY, 5/30/09: Pee at 2:08AM and decide NOT to type a trivial dream. At 2:44, because I can't get to sleep, I make a do-list of 11 items: 1) Alzheimer's list (continued from dim past) of a) no "Ruddigore," b) Ken's phone off hook, c) Norma Shearer, and d) Placido Domingo, and then add e) WHAT did Spartacus hang up on me for "his not wanting to argue with me" after I had said I wanted to change the subject; 2) Check Schwab One cash; 3) United miles?; 4) last-trip air miles?; 5) supply about 50 travel descriptions; 6) Russia-China SLIDES and TRAVEL buttons; 7) finish Marj's proofing; 8) last cx to Tris and answer e-mails; 9) Met trio for me and Charles; 10) blood for lipid measures; 11) phone Doug. Then later, to update the file, add 12) gym/plum wine; 13) re-figure Spider x; 14) Channel 13 program missing again! At 3:31AM, still not able to get to sleep, I try Actualism but hear some part of me saying, perversely, "NO," like the aging rebel in "Zardoz." Then add the Alzheimer's moment of NEVER remembering the name of the William Hurt film "Altered States," AND the fact that it was Paddy Chayevsky (I think) who had his name taken FROM the film. Should I take a sleeping pill? Tell myself to try Actualism seriously until 4AM, and if I'm not asleep by then, take a pill. Then record the note: could I have RECORDED the name of the people to whom I sold the books when I was moving, so I can STILL contact them about the Burroughs books they want, in my "MOVING" chronicle? 3:46AM: Pee and TAKE ambien! Get the Times at 9:01AM, read with breakfast, and do the diagramless puzzle. Sometime YESTERDAY, I think, or BEFORE, I decided to try "The Legend of the Nile" DVD on my COMPUTER, and it WORKS! Look at about an hour of it before I get bored. Also yesterday I printed out the three photos from Egypt that Dale e-mailed me. Then get to Spider for today at 12:10-1:30, OK to 50.62955 at 228 up after 2 wins. Check my Schwab balance at 1:30 and Adventure Canada hasn't cashed their check yet. Order the Met trio for me and Charles at 2PM. Re-figure the Spider formula CORRECTLY at 2:30, which leads me BACK to Spider 2:30-3:05, OK at 50.63221 at 229 up after 2 wins, tempting me to go AGAIN to 3:55, OK at 50.63479 at 230 up after 2 wins, tantalizingly close to the record high of 3/25, so I continue to 5PM, kicking myself for doing POORLY to 50.63458 at 230 up after 3 wins. Then decide to start the travel descriptions, having looked through the New York State file and FOUND the Hemlock Hall placemat on which I'd summarized my trips, and then went to LISTS to find ALL my trips, and start writing those in TRISMEM18, stopping at 8PM for dinner and two hours of "Nature's Most Amazing Events" of wildebeest in the Serengeti and sardines off the southern tip of Africa, getting back to finish the US trips, resorting to the datebooks until 1979 and the calendar books beyond that, to get to bed at 12:50AM.

SUNDAY, 5/31/09: 7:16AM: Add two notes to list. Do Actualism until 8:50 and get up to j/o until 10AM. Breakfast with the Times, finish the descriptions to 12:20PM, doing an "at last" Spider 12:20-1:20PM to a NEW high of 50.63724 at 231 up after 2 wins. Tried calling Marj from 11AM, finally getting her at 1:20, and she says she'll call back about 3:30. I start completing NI at 1:30, but at 1:35 decide I should really go to the gym, now the fourth day, having been lazy yesterday and not gone. Go, buy the plum wine, and get back at 3:10 to have lunch, finish at 3:30 when PRECISELY Marj phones. Talk to 4:30 EXACTLY, and print out previously unprinted pages and finally catch this up to date at 5:18PM, where DOES the time go? NOW to do the Alzheimer's list update! The last entries were 9/09, almost TEN YEARS AGO. Then search MOVECHRO and find on page 8 that JOAN MILLMAN knows Gail and Al of Biblo Books: she sent them address-change from 101 Clark! That goes to 5:37PM. Finish the Notes at the end of "The Age of Entanglement: When Quantum Physics Was Reborn" at 6:20PM and copy the notes I took from it:


p.91: The wave function (psi): That two electrons together are somehow a single six-dimensional wave means they were tied together. Entangled.

p.95: It proves only that we cannot imagine [quantum jumps], that the representational concepts with which we describe events in daily life and experiments in classical physics are inadequate when it comes to describing quantum jumps.

p.97: Bohr: "Now I understand it...The point is that everything is exactly the opposite of what you said---that's the point."

p.171: As far as this formalism is concerned, these two atoms, no matter how far they separated, ceased to be individuals after their interaction...By the interaction, the two representatives have become entangled. Thus the word and concept of entanglement entered physics.

p.173: Born interpretation of the wavefunction as a list of probabilities.

p.195: Bohm: two atoms, once bound together in a molecule (hence with opposite spin)...The molecule is delicately "disintegrated" and the atoms are now moving apart from one another. p.196: This separability Bohm did not believe.

p.229: Two-slit experiment: how does it really work? What machinery is actually producing this [result]? Nobody knows any machinery. Physics has given up.

p.239-240: Vagueness, subjectivity, and indeterminism are not forced on us by experimental facts, but by deliberate theoretical choice....frustration.

p.252: Bohm: EPR assumed particles would remain entangled while infinitely separate. No one had ever proved this was possible...if, as soon as the particles lost touch, they also lost all memory of each other.

p.255: Atom loses energy in the form of a photon. An atomic cascade takes place when the atom loses that energy in two stages, releasing one low-energy photon and then a second, which is entangled with the first.

p.256: Each pair of atomic-cascade photons was polarized identically---both vertical or both horizontal.

p.259: If you describe the two electrons in the helium atom, they're in an entangled state.

p.275: An atomic cascade in mercury. A violet photon would emerge, followed by, and entangled with, an ultraviolet one....entanglement simpler to produce.

p.276: Clauser-Freedman machine excluded hidden variables by a large margin. The highly calibrated classical mechanics had desplayed a fully entangled, spooky result.

p.279: EPR: If we can predict with certainty the value of a physical quantity, then there exists an element of reality corresponding to this quantity. Bell proved this inadequate: entanglement exists.

p.280: The Clauser-Horne version of the Bell inequality is still considered the gold standard. In fact, no experiment has yet tested it. [p.403: Some argue for and some argue against this experiment.]

p.286: I think it's going to be a long time before people know what quantum mechanics means....very unsatisfying kind of thing...unfinished business... something will come up---the problem will just disappear one day because we'll find out we were asking the wrong question.

p.287: Dramatically, even a single neutron in the interferometer would interfere with neutron had traveled down both paths simultaneously.

p.299: When a beam of light shines through a certain kind of crystal, a very tiny number of photons split in two (it is not understood why), each carrying half the energy of the parent...each pair of daugher photons is entangled, both in their colors and their directions of flight.

p.323: I find these results quite puzzling and I'm not very comfortable with the idea that we should just give up any picture at all.

p.327: 2005: There's been enormous progress, mostly mathematical, in trying to quantify entanglement, in trying to find ways of measuring it, finding ways of detecting entanglement.

p.328: Einstein in 1951, four years before he died: "All these fifty years of conscious brooding have brought me no nearer to the question, 'What are light quanta?' Nowadays every Tom, Dick, and Harry thinks he knows it, but he is mistaken."....Rabi: "There's a miracle of doing something like making an electron-positron pair. One actually creates a remarkable thing like an electron."

p.329: Bell: Quantum mechanics is, at the best, incomplete. "Current interest in such questions is small."

p.348: EPR paper, 1935: We are left with the Einstein point of view: quantum mechanics in incomplete.

p.337: Bell's theorem/Bell's inequality---The discovery that quantum mechanics is compatible with either, but not both, of the following ideas: 1. locality, 2. some form of independent, separable reality. The world, at the quantum level, is strangely and inexplicably correlated. Some, defying special relativity, say that the moral of the story is nonlocality; others say quantum things are not real when not observed. And there is a murmur of a suggestion that the central reality, at the quantum level, is entanglement: that relationships between quantum "things" are more fundamental and objective than the things themselves. The "inequality" of Bell's theorem is a mathematical statement restricting the amount that two unconnected particles can be correlated, an apparently trivial truth that is nonetheless not respected by quantum mechanics.

p.369: Bohr: "I am not saying this in order to criticize, but your argument is sheer nonsense."

p.385: I believe it was Einstein that pointed out the fact that the math implied that a measurement of the state of one particle would instantaneously determine the state of the other particle.

Finish typing these notes at 7:25PM, now ready to return the book to the library. Decide to watch the DVDs of "The Legend of the Nile," and it works until 8PM, when I start watching "Nature's Most Amazing Events" of the Kalahari flooding and the Pacific feast until 10, having dinner while fearing Tris might call, but he never does. Then watch MORE of "The Legend of the Nile," seeing that the "extra" disk in many ways repeats the non-museum information of the "regular" disks. Finish that, and this, at 12:16AM, ready for bed! Bed 12:30AM.

MONDAY, 6/1/09: Type dream at 5:29AM, pee, do a complete Actualism, and get up at 7:51AM to start the day, wanting to get many items off my list. Eat breakfast; call United to find I have 91,000 miles that don't expire until 2010, so I can put away that credit card until then; call American, which doesn't have my Bhutan flight miles, but Robin takes down all the flight numbers and will try to get Jet Airways to confirm that I took the flights and tell her the number of miles: call back 6/30 to check; Channel 13 takes eight minutes to answer and tells me that TWO months were addressed the same way and were returned by the post office. She'll send me this month's program guide and NEXT month's should arrive OK; call Joan Millman's home number and get some strange beep after ten rings, then leave word for her at her office (she's in Albany today) and she'll get back to me; phone Doug, who says he's been gone to Jersey and Massachusetts a lot, but wants to see the Modern, where the passes expire June 8. He'll call back within the hour. Check other museum dates: the New Museum only goes through 6/14, and X Initiative closed 5/30. Tried getting a phone number to see if they extended, but there is no listing. Very productive through 9:40AM, waiting for the library to open to return my books. Then will make a new, expandable list for the four items left on my do-list. Doug calls back and we agree to meet at MoMA 11AM Thursday. Get to the library in the rain and find Scott's 2009 Volume 2 on the shelf: so much for my reserve request. Take it home and start working on France when Carolyn calls and says I have to meet her at Penn Station at 5PM to help with the luggage her broken arm won't be able to manage. I grumble, but agree. Call Mildred to give her the seat number in case I don't get there at 7:15, and she explodes and says she doesn't want to see the ballet by herself, but she'll meet me at 7:15, but she won't like the performance. I STEW at her! Then Carolyn calls from the bus and says it'll be in at 4:45PM, gate 17. I have lunch early, but don't have time even for a snack before leaving at 4:15 to meet her. She doesn't arrive until 5PM: I see her through the window of the bus and meet her at the door to go to the luggage compartment under the bus to get her large black wheeled suitcase. She gives me a bulky shoulder bag to put on top of it and we go up one escalator, across the floor, and down another to the entrance to the 8th Avenue subway. She had to stop for MINUTES on the floor to search in FIVE different compartments to find her subway card! I can barely restrain my impatience. The subway is jammed at 5:15, of course, but someone gives HER a seat while I stand with her bags. Then she has to root through ANOTHER four compartments to find her HOUSE KEYS! Off at Jay Street and go across the platform to get the F, which is crowded even at the last car. She gets a seat and I go to the door early with her bags, and then we're through the gates and up the stairs, where some guy helps lift the wheels for me. Long walk down President, trying to make civil conversation, deciding that I WON'T try to have dinner at her place (since I really don't want sardines or pasta, and CERTAINLY don't want to COOK for her), but just leave at 6: since it took us an hour to get to her place on TWO trains, and I have to take THREE trains to get to Lincoln Center, I'll just get there by 7:15 if I'm lucky. Walk more quickly the three long blocks to Smith Street, an F comes quickly enough, transfer across the platform to an A train, which makes good time and I switch to the 1 at 59th Street to get to Lincoln Center suprisingly early at 7PM, prepared to try to sell the ticket to someone else if Mildred decides she's not going to show up. Spy her walking across the plaza at 7:05, and smile out at her, relieved when she smiles back at me and says, "You really got here early!" She accuses me of being willing to take orders from everyone EXCEPT her in an emergency, and I LATER think that she's RIGHT, because compared with Ken and Spartacus and Carolyn and Sherryl and Shelley, she IS less of a friend, and priority, for me. But I quickly say that since she's here early, we can go inside where I can buy a sandwich to make up for the dinner I haven't had yet. I encourage her to drink a glass of champagne, and I really think it eased the critical faculties of her brain enough to let her ENJOY the evening, despite the fact that, all the way through "Prodigal Son" she thought she was watching "On the Dnieper." Then, at the beginning of the REAL "On the Dnieper," she, out of the blue, said, "Oh, I think this is going to be good." Well, it wasn't, though the audience liked it more than we did: I said we really didn't get INVOLVED with the characters, so their emotions were relatively unappreciated. When I get home I decide to take Spartacus's advice and eat (and drink) what I USUALLY eat and drink, otherwise, what good would the blood test actually BE? So I have my dinner and wine just before midnight and get to bed at 1:03AM Tuesday. Didn't even do Spider today.

TUESDAY, 6/2/09: Pee at 6:15 and up at 9:43. Dress and get out to give blood for my lipid profile, the nurse finding a vein in my right arm after slapping my left arm fruitlessly. Back for breakfast and do Spider 11:07-12:20, GREAT to 50.64806 at 235 up after 5 wins. Spartacus calls with a Theatermania ticket to Eric Bogosian tonight, and I agree to go with him. Go through the rest of Scott's Volume 2 and put it aside to wait for the two new books I requested from the library. Meet Spartacus at the subway at 5PM to have dinner at Porchetta, way east on 7th Avenue, not worth the trip, and then to the Public Theater for Bogosian, much material, most of it easily forgettable. Don't know how I spent the rest of the day, but got to bed at 12:43AM Wednesday.

WEDNESDAY, 6/3/09: Pee at 7:17 and up at 9:51AM. Watch "Grave of the Fireflies," a really quite grim Japanese animé, and even "based on a semi-autobiographical novel." I call Sharon to cancel, Spartacus having told me to get a ticket from Audience Extras for the second play, Table Manners, of "Norman Conquests," which will probably go past 4PM. So this at least makes LAST year's $85 payment to Audience Extras (since my year starts 6/6) worth it. It's over at 4:25PM. Go through the mail and then do Spider 5:45-7:40 to 50.64763, still at 235 up after 2 wins. Arrange with Len to meet at the Met at noon on the bench, which he later changes to 1PM. So many things getting done! Decide to get Wolfram's book down off the shelf from three years ago and concentrate on FINISHING it. My eyes close and I get to bed at 11:25PM.

THURSDAY, 6/4/09: Pee at 3:51 and 5:50 and up at 7:52, deciding there's time to go to the gym NOW, finding a quite different crowd there, and back for breakfast and leave in time to meet Doug at the Guest Desk at MoMA just a minute after 11AM. He's delighted to see me as usual. We take about an hour in Photography in the West, then two artists' Tangled Alphabet and films by Aernout Mik before we decide to break for lunch about 1:15. Kids are screaming in Cafe 2, so I suggest the restaurant on the ground floor. The Bar is crowded, and loud, with a 15-minute wait, so I ask if he'd tolerate the price in The Modern itself. He says OK, we get seated just inside the entrance, and he accepts sharing a $40 cava, which is quite good. We have a fabulous lunch, starting with an odd wine-glass serving of cucumber puree, topped with caviar, atop a salmon froth. My duck appetizer is one of the best, my liver is a very thick cut and not as fabulous as I'd hoped, and in the middle of being totally stuffed I remember I'm supposed to meet Ken for dinner at Ouest at 7:30! We finish eating at 2:50, our bills are each $86, which he accepts, and he says he has to get back to walk his dog: we'll talk later about what to see next, and I go to the basement to see "raw footage" of what really looks like an actual Yugoslavian war. Tired of walking, so I subway home, look at the mail, start a Spider 5:40-6:40 when I stop to dress and leave for Ouest, meeting Ken in the subway at 72nd Street. He persuades me it's worth it to pay $65 for a Caymus Conundrum which would be much more at any other restaurant, and I think it tastes more like a good dessert wine than anything else. We also have drinks, he a watermelon mint, my large-glass Bellini very good. I forget our amuse bouche, which was sizeable, my appetizer of an asparagus salad was surpassed by Ken's omelette soufflé, one of the hits of the meal. The pork tenderloin was forgettable, and I had it wrapped and took it home, but the pork belly along with it was so incredibly tasty that I insisted the sauce was based on hoisin sauce, though the waiter said it was only the reduced juices from the pork belly itself. Ken's rabbit was unexceptional. I managed to get through without over-extending my stomach (ha!), he had a dessert of a chocolate bomb, and I had the cheesecake, which was OK. We get the bill at 9:16PM, to which I add a tip to get a total of $128.92, which, added to the $86 for lunch, meant I spent $214.92 for food today! Home to finish the Spider 10:25-11 at 50.65278, another high, at 237 up after 2 wins. Still stuffed, so I put on TV and watch something that ends at midnight, when "The Matrix" starts, and I get sucked into it despite the ads coming VERY frequently at GREAT length after about 2PM, but I finish it and get to bed at 3:05AM.

FRIDAY, 6/5/09: Shit at 9:10AM and take 2 aspirin. Up at 11:01, have breakfast while watching "Little Buddha," actually FILMED in Paro's monastery, recognizable from its site, bridges, and interior courtyards. Keanu Reeves was much sexier with his bumpy-ripply torso back then, and some of his facial shots were truly ethereal, though his final Buddha smile was a tiny bit painful to look at. Get to the library to find Scott's 2009 Volume 1 on the shelf! Pick that up, and the two books that arrived already, and home to spread out the to-be-albumed United States stamps. Order HH food for only HALF of next week. Charles wants to see "Mefistofele" on Sunday at 7PM, with pizza, and Mildred agrees. Ken says I have to call him at home so he can check his calendar, then says he just doesn't want to bother. Spider is OK from 1:25-2:10 to 50.65264 at 237 up after 2 wins. Gail Barranco calls and says she'd LOVE to look at my list of Burroughs books. Another accomplishment! Tris calls and I go through the most recent corrections. Still another accomplishment! Out in a slight drizzle to meet Leon for Third Ring seats for the all-Robbins evening: "Glass Pieces" with a spectacular second-part pas de deux with Philip Neal and Maria Kowroski for an effective start; "The Cage" with Janie Taylor substituting for the too-angular Wendy Whelan for an effective "young" look, and even Sebastien Marcovici seemed more at ease in his role; "Other Dances" couldn't live up to Baryshnikov and Makarova, but Gonzalo Garcia's CROTCH was INFINITELY watchable, as were his spectacularly muscled legs---what a pity Tiler Peck hadn't mastered Makarova's precisely perfect arm and hand movements; "The Concert" was somehow dated, and I HATED my neighbor's telegraphing her amusement, amazement, and astonishment with sounds and motions in her chair. Got to tell Leon I do NOT want to sit next to her AGAIN. Back and read and bed at 2:17AM, almost an hour earlier than last night.

SATURDAY, 6/6/09: Pee at 6:25 and up at 9:21 to type dream. Start an AWFUL session of Spider 9:30-11:30, and just shut it OFF so I can have breakfast before leaving at 12:15 to take the subway to 79th and the crosstown bus, just missing one, and meet Len a few minutes after 1. Up to the roof for Paine's "Maelstrom" to 1:30; African Art to 2:10; lunch in the cafeteria to 3:15, taking a plate of chicken legs, veggies, tomatoes and mozzarella, and watermelon; then Bacon to 4:15, which Len leaves early, and Pictures Generation to 5:10, totally exhausted, getting home about 6:10 after quick bus and subway. Finish the Spider BETTER 7:05-9:20 to 50.65499, a GREAT high of 238 up after 6 wins. Finish with the United States stamps, go through the Times, and get to bed at 12:58AM, more than an hour earlier than LAST night.

SUNDAY, 6/7/09: "Phone rings" at 6:40. Pee. Up at 7:47 after only 6:49 sleep. Just feel like reading more of the DeLillo book "White Noise," but then my eyes close and I lie down for a short nap, but feel antsy and get up for Spider 12:25-2:40 for an INCREDIBLE 50.67055 high at 244 up after 7 wins: best ever AGAIN. Go through the Times, and start preparing for this evening's guests: cleaning the toilet, washing dishes after lunch, arranging the chairs around the angled TV, setting the table for three, going to the gym, feeling SOMEWHAT more energetic than I did earlier in the day. Back at 6 to read more, then answer the phone at 6:40 to hear Mildred say she got home too late, is tired, will be sorry to miss the evening, doesn't want me to delay it for her, and I reduce the chairs and place settings to two. Charles arrives at the door about 7:10, I phone for pizza, we watch the start of "Mefistofele" with Paul's good Pommery champagne, and the pie arrives about 8. Eat all but two and a half slices, finishing the champagne, so Mildred's absence didn't produce any surplus. Charles liked the opera, over at 11PM, later than he would have thought, and I leave most of the stuff to be handled tomorrow, getting to bed at 12:12AM Monday.

MONDAY, 6/8/09: Pee at 5:42. Up at 9:25, obviously needing over nine hours' sleep. Do a good Spider 9:55-10:40 to 50.67589 at 246 up after 3 wins to ANOTHER best ever. Have breakfast, wash dishes, and spend about an hour looking through YouTube's finale of "England's Got Talent," where Susan Boyle loses out to a rather skilled dance group. Phone Marj to leave word about Boyle's defeat. Then decide I must get to catching up with this journal. Incredible time spent feeding broken-edge paper into the printer, but it finally seems to work. More long stretches of time getting the list of exhibits seen at both MoMA and the Met, the dances at the Robbins program, the list of Spider games, and other details, like prices and times for restaurants, getting library books, and I'm sorry I didn't record the time I took to proofread all but the second half of FLAPAUL, and the time we took going over the FIRST quarter of her notes, at which she left it that she'd phone ME for more time on the website. I'm accepted on the Sundance tour of St. John the Divine, and now at 3:15 I've just GOT to get to lunch! Still piles of stuff to be put away, but it's been a VERY successful day. After lunch I continue processing stacks, checking through the Burroughs books to see EXACTLY what I have, then arrange 13 stacks of "final" things to do: four for website, three galleries, Marj, Tris, mandala, Beard, Burroughs, and Russia-China slides. Then FINISH Marj's proofing of FLAPAUL and send ANTARCTICA, EUROTRIP, and FLAPAUL to Tris by 10PM. Make Marj's check and take her envelope down to put in the mailbox for tomorrow morning. Have dinner while watching the start of the Tonys from 2008-2009, quite a spectacle, but stop in the middle and get to bed at 12:22AM Tuesday.

TUESDAY, 6/9/09: Pee at 7:27 and lay thinking of how BLESSED I am (after putting myself into a fearful state by recollecting 9/11, and doing Actualism to counteract that): friends to go to galleries with, the website, books to read, ballet and opera coming up, plays to see, things accomplished. But know that I have to call Piri to check about her book launch this evening, re-call the Beard about my $25 additional credit, and send the Burroughs list off to the Barracanos. Up at 8:57, wait for the vacuuming to clear the hallway, and climb up to the 30th floor, breathing heavily, but starting to recover even as I walk down the ten flights, in training for St. John the Divine. Check Google for "The Mandala" and find Strand has a copy for about $40, which I order, and then see an ad for calling cards that I fill out for 250 "free" ones (for $6.20 mailing!) which include my website and e-mail addresses, having to wait only 21 days for the non-priority mailing. Have breakfast while watching the dynamite ending of the Tonys, call Spartacus to thank him; leave a message with Piri to call me, and have the Burroughs list on my desk now at 12:10PM, slightly tacky in the humidity. Get the list printed for them, then Google "Bhutan: Land of the Thunder Dragon" and find that Longitude, in NYC, has it for a total of $37.92, and it may come UPS tomorrow! Note HERE that someone recommended Synvest or Orthovest knee injections for oncoming problems. Ask Chin about it? I'll put it HERE, so I can search for it later, if I need it. Also added to my do-list a list of four PLAYS I want to see: "Hair," "God of Carnage," "Exit the King," and "Billy Elliot," ignoring those on TKTS for tonight and tomorrow matinee (having missed Audience Extra's "Round and Round the Garden" from "The Norman Chronicles"). Best Revival of Play may be only Tony that "The Norman Chronicles" got. "God of Carnage" won for director and Marcia Gay Harden for actress and for Best Play; "Hair" got Best Musical Revival; Geoffrey Rush got best actor for "Exit the King;" and "Billy Elliot" got book, director, actor for father Gregory Jabarra, actors the three kids, and Best Musical. Now at 1PM Kimberley from the Beard apologizes and says I'll be getting the additional $25 credit "later today." Now to the website and Tris's corrections. Piri calls and says Ceasar, Barbara, and maybe Mark will be there tonight, and she'd certainly like to see me between 6-9PM. Great! Have lunch, do more stuff, and do Spider to fill in the time from 4:40-6, stopping because I MUST leave for Piri's, getting there just after 7 to find little groups of people I don't know talking avidly together. Drink wine and eat snacks, Caesar chats a bit, then Sylvia and Stu invite me into their group and we talk about indexing, and the party goes on, she sells lots of books, people leave and enter, until we're just about six left, me talking to a guy from the Bridge Group, and I leave before 9, feeling slightly woozy from the wine, go through the mail, put away the HH food, and finish the Spider from 10:55-11, fabulous high of 50.68929 at 249 up after 7 wins! Watch "Inside Planet Earth" and get to bed at 1:30AM Tuesday, content.