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2012

pick up when I try phoning him. Have breakfast with Siberian tigers to 12:35PM, talk to Charles 1:15-1:45PM, check with Ridgewood to 2PM, check with Archaeological Tours to 2:20PM and leave word with Ken, and catch up with e-mail: Lisa e-mailed to say my bill is now OK, Susie e-mailed that she wants to bring booze to my place at 9:15AM on 10/24, which I said was OK, and send a Slate article about the camera that "photographs time, rather than space," which I read about before. Phone rings at 2:30, hoping for Toba, getting Spam. Meticulously fill this out to 2:32PM, STILL waiting for Toba. Print page 87. Phone Toba at 2:40PM and he says that I can go right over! Clarifies lots of details, including which wall to use for outlet at corner, and still has to think about sheets under doorways---but he says my memo to Mary is perfect, and that I should show up for the 7:30PM Board meeting on Wednesday. Filming still seems to be up in the air; when I asked if he thought I was PUSHING, trying too FAST, he said absolutely not. Have to leave at 3:18PM because I've got to get to the gym. Do that to 4:55PM, picking up mail that I look at before calling Marj at 5:01PM and getting sucked into her ENDLESS matters based on what I've said about Rita's husband, Charles and Bill, and my meeting with Toba, not even ABLE to get to my Sunday-Priorities list by the time she hangs up at 5:58PM. Have a chicken sandwich, brownie, and two halves of the Crumbs cupcake while watching the history of the Roosevelt House on East 65th Street. Send the e-mail to Mary, having to attach from the WP51 file, to 7:20PM, read Paul's mail to 7:30PM, verify and mail the check for the Visa bill by 7:45PM, finish ordering my last six Healthy Heart meals by 8:10PM, phoning them to make SURE they don't start another cycle of credit-card payments. Then get to Tris's list of the next 38 sites he added to the website. That goes to 11:05PM, and increases to 42 sites visited, making lots of trivial corrections. Decide to go directly to bed without dinner at 11:29PM, weighing 189.6#.

TUESDAY, 10/16/12: 2:06AM: Pee, weigh 189.2#. 2:28AM: Phantom phone-ring. 8:01AM: Thin, low-contrast mympths. Pee-read 8:04-8:23AM, weigh 187.0#. FU 8:26-8:46AM, then get up. Make Tue-Do: 1) Julio is SURE Carlos has my phone number, to 9:05AM. 2) Pay Tris to 9:15AM. 3) Finish DATA for TRSMEM27 to 9:30AM. 4) Send TRSMEM27 by 10AM. 5) "Paul" (tacky movie) with breakfast to 11:25AM. 6) CARLOS knocks, will BUY and install window blind in 2-3 weeks, to 11:30AM. 7) Watch "Dexter" and start "666 Park Avenue" to 12:45PM. 8) Call Spartacus 12:47: he'll call back. 9) Check Met Opera---none to 12:53PM. 10) Talk to Charles 12:54-1:32PM, ORDERING him to find out "first three steps in getting out," which will take him AT LEAST three days. Mildred WILL be joining us at "Book of Mormon," but will NOT speak to me. 11) Put 2013 opera notes away to 1:40PM. 12) Spartacus calls 1:45-1:50PM, will come over at 4:30 for DVDing DVR. 13) Order Sierra Club calendar to 2PM. 14) E-mail Tris on ATT by 2:10PM. 15) Reduce number of piles on table from 19 to 15. 16) Catch up with NN to 2:23PM. Have lunch of ham sandwich and brownie and last of Crumbs cupcake while watching TV. Work on laptop to move files to flashdrive 3:30-4:30PM, when Spartacus comes over, asks impossible questions, (Marj calls at 5PM and I say Spartacus is here and we'll talk later), and I finally find that I can play DVR programs on TV and hit "REC" on DVD and it'll record! He leaves at 6:05PM, saying we'll meet at 6:55PM at Clark Street for "Cyrano" at Roundabout. He doesn't show up until 7:12PM, but we get subway quickly and get to theater at the dot of 7:30PM, at which time I read reviews and go to the fifth floor to hear the introductory talk. Down to find this performances is being signed, and it starts at 8:04PM. Good performances by Douglas Hodge, with a really convincing bulbous (somewhat phallic) nose, and Clémence Poésy as Roxane. Kyle Soller is not really THAT handsome as Christian, but the production is effective. Over at 10:40PM, stop in the Crumbs at 42nd Street to find that Claudia paid at least $4.50 for each of six large cupcakes (with a maximum of 1050 calories per cake) and $19.50 for each dozen little ones, making her total investment in her birthday, including tax, over $90!! We take A-train back because Clark Street station is closed this week at 10PM. I listen to Presidential Debate #2 and commentary, with two pieces of buttered toast for a late dinner, until weighing 189.8# before bed at 1:45AM.

WEDNESDAY, 10/17/12: 6:48AM: Pee, weigh 188.0#. 7:31AM: Can't sleep, so get up, only 5:46 in bed, still 188.0#. DVR 93% full. Start on TV-watching marathon at 7:48AM, watching "Boardwalk Empire" to 8:40AM, "Broadway Musicals #2" (and it IS from 2004!) to 9:24AM, DVR 91%; "Frozen Planet, Making" to 10:09AM, "The Vow" notable only for Channing Tatum's ass, until 11:52AM. Then try getting Denny's room, but they won't give it to me without my giving them his birth date. Leave word on Jan's phone and then try Rita's cell and GET her, with Denny napping, having come through the operation, very bloody, well. Then go to Facebook to try to notify the Vallishes about Denny, as Rita requested me to do. Call Charles at 12:23PM and he says he'll call back in seven minutes, but it's now 12:43PM and he's not called back yet, but I'm caught up with this. Now, I guess, back to website. Work on that to 1:03PM when Charles calls, saying he's notified the group he's paying that he wants to be home by on Saturday; he's also willing to leave Bill in the nursing home. Make tuna casserole to 1:58PM, and back to putting plays onto flashdrive to 2:58PM. Lunch with "Northwest Passage" to 5:15PM. Website 5:23-6 and duplicate 38 files to Elite by 6:38. Elite to Kingston to 6:52PM. Down to get mail, and read it to 7:40PM. Board meeting to 8:30: my travel program is GO! Read mail and magazines and mail Marj's package at 9:35PM. Watch "Malaya," mediocre, to 11:30PM, weighing 189.8# when I get to bed at 11:48PM.

THURSDAY, 10/18/12: 6:49AM: Shit-read to 7:23AM, weigh 188.6#. FUAS 7:25-7:47AM, lie to 8:12AM. Piles reduced to ten by 8:30AM. Make dentist appointment, piles to 9 by 8:40AM. "The Mountain" on TV to 10:40AM. Set TCM shorts to record to 10:58AM. Hassle with "Do not call" to 11:30AM. Charles doesn't answer at 11:31AM. Gym to 1:30PM. Lunch and "Race" (ineffectual hour) to 2:35PM. "Horror of Dracula" to 4:10PM, Spartacus calling TWICE to mess up my schedule, but then Sharon calls to postpone her session to 5PM. "Curse of Frankenstein" ends at 7:55PM, after I get back from depositing Ken's check for long-ago meal and buying groceries at 6:30PM. "The Mummy (1954)" to 8:42PM, when my eyes close, so I go to TV Guide, finish movie at 10:46PM and have enough energy to watch current "30 Rock." Weigh 190.4# when I bed at 11:52PM.

SHARON B. 233 10/18/12

She comes from hallway at 4:58PM and I give her dream page that I printed out from two weeks ago. Mention that I hadn't BROUGHT shoulder bag when I thought I'd left it at HIP last week. Say that I either dream ALL time or NONE of the time, and she said she knew nothing about that. Told her about Denny and his brain tumor, and about Charles and his leaving, and then got into my annoyance with my BEING annoyed: at dogs on floor, at people in elevator, at spam-calls on telephone. Figure it's that I can't CONTROL any of that, as I can control the other 99% of my quite-good life. Mentioned the progress with the website, the coming monthly programs of travel at 101 Clark, and my STILL being very active, even including attending "Book of Mormon" with a non-speaking Mildred. Try to think of something else to say, but it's 5:45PM and I leave.

FRIDAY, 10/19/12: 12:05AM: Decide to get OUT of bed and LOCK DOOR! 8:04AM: Shit-read to 8:44AM, weighing 188.6# after toilet REFUSES to flush normally after getting hung up on another of my large turds. Start watching TV at 8:49, determined to reduce list to none, and do so: "Men Who Built America" GOOD for two hours to 11AM, "The Gorgon" to 12:30PM, "Cinerama Adventure" from 2008, good enough to keep, to 2:30PM, "This Is Cinerama" that I may never have seen to 4:30PM, and then talk to Spartacus about 12/5 "Thais" ticket order to 5PM, when Marj calls, and we talk to 5:30PM, she hasn't got packet yet. I call Charles and he says he'll call back at 10:30. I finish with this at 6:10PM, ready to dress for ABT at 7:30PM. Get to top balcony early, reading New Yorker, and side seat works well with binox: "Drink to Me Only with Thine Eyes" by Morris is light fun, "The Leaves Are Fading PDD" by Tudor is a bore, with an awkwardly unsexy Cory Stearns, "Stars and Stripes" by Balanchine has an athletic Daniil Simkin, and "Symphony #9" to Shostakovich by Ratmansky is vaguely homoerotic with a smiling/frowning Roberto Bolle and a frantically possessive Veronika Part dancing what I would have liked to see Gomez, who was reviewed in the opening in Saturday's Times, dance. Out at 9:30PM and get home by 10:20PM to hope for Charles's call, watching Maher with soup dinner, and Charles calls at 11:30, talking almost to midnight about his going home tomorrow, when he'll call me; we'll meet at theater entrance at 1:30PM Sunday. I weigh 189.8# on getting to bed at 12:08AM.

SATURDAY, 10/20/12: 1:32AM: Pee, weigh 189.2#. 2:32AM: Pee, weigh 188.2#. 6:15AM: Dream of snow in valley. Pee-read to 6:31AM, weigh 186.2#! Foggy and dark out. Type DREAMS:10/20/12 6:32-6:34AM. 6:54AM: Try to sex up and j/o(?) (it's just AWFUL that I can't honestly say whether I've CUM OR NOT!!) to 7:39AM, getting Times at 8:39AM after watching TV. Pee, still 186.2#. Watch "Das Rheingold" on my DVD, vaguely acceptable in FILL-next (whose name I can't remember at the moment---turns out to be ZOOM!), just to HAVE it off of DVR, to 11AM. Struggle with odd "contest" puzzle, not being able to figure out what the TENTH word is, since only NINE are "things" in one square. And can't find the "safe path," the crux clue. That takes a LOT of the day, and then watch the season's finale of "Boss" with lots to hang for next season, including the idea(?) that Ned, or whoever, is Cain's SON! Follow that with the unsatisfactory "Bedlam," that revives the horrid lesbian as a GHOST when I thought I was rid of her in the last episode when she died, and the equally unsatisfactory "Hex" which certainly shows a lot of Michael Fassbender's lovely eyes, but not much in the line of an inventive PLOT. Think to watch the takeoff on Hitchcock's "Birds" but it's just too late. Tried reading more of "Infinite Whatever," but just can't get into it. Get an e-mail notice that "The Zone" is due on Tuesday, and I just might take ALL those Zone books back, knowing that they've been replaced with the new regime. May return "Infinite" too, since I'm convinced that my reading the words leaves NOTHING behind in my memory! Weigh 187.2#, despite my "heavy" mashed-potato-peas-and-carrots fried chicken frozen dinner, when I get to bed at 11:34PM.

SUNDAY, 10/21/12: 8:07AM: Wake after 8:33 sleep! Pee-read Times to 8:39AM, weighing NEW LOW of 185.4#. FUAS 8:43-9:03AM, lie to 9:21AM. Then to "Where Am I Now" to get things off my mind, get a CORRECTED ATLANTiC.[have to check site since I know it's not .dec and find it's .doc]to Tris by 10:25AM, and play a remarkable Taipei series, described in that sideline. Catch up with this, remarking AGAIN that I'm all the way up to page 90 in NN, by 10:48AM, stomach complaining about lack of food, which I'll remedy NOW, and DAMN the five-hours-until-next-meal that will find me in "The Book of Mormon." Have breakfast with "The Girl," a rather unbelievable portrayal of Alfred Hitchcock's obsession with Tippi Hedren: was he REALLY that awful to her, both personally (DEMANDING that she do whatever he requested sexually) and professionally (launching REAL birds at her when she thought they would only be mechanical)? That goes to 12:40PM, just time to answer Charles's phone call asking what the ADDRESS of the theater is, get ready myself, and leave at 12:50PM, a practical time for meeting Charles at 1:20PM in front of the theater. Longish wait on a crowded platform since the #3 isn't running today, but get the local instantly at 42nd Street and get to the theater at 1:23PM to get sent DIRECTLY to the window to pick up my replacement ticket for Charles, who makes his presence known by calling me from his chair just inside the door behind me. The guy behind the window is very understanding with my request for a replacement ticket, saying that it would NOW go---if I understood him correctly, which seems improbable---for $169! But I check Google to 9:16AM and find that the "official" site IS charging $169 for that ticket, while StubHub wants $224, Ticket Network wants $170, Amex offers 10/28 orchestra seat B12 for $155, and Front Row wants $170! Crawl under the tape separating us DESPITE the protestations of the gate-keeper, and the doors open at 1:30PM, precisely when I get to Charles in his seat. He's even more frail with his cane than I would have thought, and escort him across the back of the theater to seat him in a seat while I go to get two sound-phones, needing to leave only MY driver's license for the two of them, and then walk up all the stairs behind him as he struggles up the three small flights to our seats. The others in our row are agile enough to bypass his knees blocking the row, and finally Mildred joins us and does NOT speak to me AT ALL. I manage to squeeze the information to Charles that there's one fifteen-minute intermission, and am SO annoyed by the querulous insistence---and uninterruptability---of her voice that I'm AGAIN bolstered in my opinion that I'm HAPPY to be RID of her. Charles can't manage the sound-phone and misses some of the dialog, but I use it constantly and it really HELPS! The production is unfailingly bright, quick, surprising---and surprisingly DIRTY: with General Butt-Fuck, huge black penises, and "Fuck God" being the major items not playable on family television. But there are really no "stars," and very little reason to use the binoculars. The supporting actress, singing Broadway-loud, is the only performer left from the original production; the lead NOW was the stand-by for the original lead, which I think is unusual, but Charles doesn't seem to follow my logic. Four people in the row in front of us CONSTANTLY, and I really mean CONSTANTLY, drink during the performance, and thank goodness the general excellence of the production captivates me so that their bottles don't have the chance to REALLY annoy me. Mildred goes on and on about her building and has many comments about the production that I don't hear [and I phone Charles but he doesn't answer my call, as he did so faithfully when he was in the nursing home]. Blessedly, at the end at 4:30PM, he lets everyone crawl across his knees and then says he'll take a taxi with Mildred to let her off and he'll continue to visit Bill in the nursing home. So I'm released to exit in the other direction, get down for the attendant to open the door to the sound-phone booth for me to get my driver's license back for the two units, and leave through the mass of pedicabs, hoping Charles and Milded think to hire one of THOSE for their trip uptown. I'm home to dinner at 5:20PM, and start watching my spate of DVR-recorded movies: "Madame duBarry" to 6:45PM, "Lola Montes" in its 2008 revision to 8:50PM, a tacky "Gulliver's Travels" by Max Fleisher that I even speed through parts of---no wonder it wasn't really a competitor with "Snow White"---to 10PM, indulge in a yogurt, orange, and two slices of buttered toast to placate my growling stomach, and finish with a bowl of soup while watching "Boardwalk Empire," not that great in its third faltering season, and then four cartoons, the first of which is something about a Bear that isn't recorded in my History listing on the DVR, concluding with "Gerald McBoing Boing," "Rooty Toot Toot," and "The Unicorn in the Garden" to 11:40PM, when I weigh 188.6# and get to bed at 11:49PM.

WHERE AM I NOW? 10/21/12

9:26AM: In bed almost ten hours, I think of all that I've done and all that I have yet to do: 1) Trivia, like being able to get rid of card with Charles's nursing home number on it, on card dated 10/4, now that he's finally gone home. 2) Future stuff, like the Sierra Club 2013 calendar that awaits my marking of yearly dates and already-slated events. 3) Intangibles, like my not having gone to the gym yesterday, which would have been a two-day interval, and not going today, a more-usual three-day interval, leaving it for tomorrow, an increasingly common four-day interval. 4) Yet more distant intangibles, like the year in which I will finally decide I do NOT have to renew my gym membership: my body is what it will be for the remaining years of my life. 5) Should-be-immediate concerns, like correcting Marj's flashdrive with the "put" entries two trips ago, with the eventual aim of putting them on the website. 6) VERY immediate concerns, like Tris's e-mail about what to do with ATLANTiC, that I have to research TODAY before telling him what to do with it. 7) The time-records for Taipei and Solitaire, almost four hours yesterday---and the urge to go to them NOW to delay having breakfast until late enough so I won't be hungry during the last act of "The Book of Mormon" that I'll have to see before having lunch. 8) The observance, now, that I'm typing on page 90, and soon NN will be replaced by NP as my notebook-of-current-events. Type to 9:32AM. Have an INCREDIBLE set of consecutive Taipei wins: miss first, but then GET ALL SERIES wins, missing only with next Bridge at 10:13AM. FINISH with this!

MONDAY, 10/22/12: 8:02AM: Again 8:13 without peeing! Shit-read to 8:16AM, finishing 10/8 New Yorker before completing 10/1 New Yorker, weighing 186.8#. FU 8:17-8:28AM, not really TIME for Actualism in my contented thinking of all the little things to do today. Up at 8:39AM, check e-mail to 8:50AM, checking with Susie that she really wants to arrive at 9:15AM on 10/24, leave sad word with Charles that I can't expect him to answer his phone as he did so promptly in the nursing home, check Google for current prices [described, by error, in yesterday's journal], and finish with this to 9:44AM. Ceremoniously discard Charles's nursing-home phone number, reducing the number of my coffee-table piles to four: slide handling, laptop photo storage, website, and Rita's phone numbers. That leaves lots of LITTLE tasks for the rest of the day! Forgot to mention that I gave Charles his two ballet tickets (holding off on the Real Estate sections since he wouldn't be able to carry them) without getting his $200 check yesterday. Look through Sierra Club calendar---pages stuck together---to 10:05AM. Register for Met Lottery. Phone Jean-George (and fuss with them about their ridiculous form that I can't sign or download, but they eventually get a manager to let her accept my credit card number in case we don't show up) and Ken (who, by coincidence, is home, and he didn't get that form from Jean-George last time, and agrees with Spartacus, whom I also phoned, that it's probably only for a holiday like Thanksgiving and Christmas) and Spartacus (who has a cold since Friday and offers me a Shaw reading at the Player's Club tonight at 7PM for $7, which I take, since I've never done anything like that before; and I have to look up Player's Club on Google just to clarify where 16 Gramercy Park South is---and it's really 20th Street) to 11:20AM. Have about a dozen little DVR listings that I'm determined to get through today. Watch "Christopher Crumpet" (a Gerald McBoing Boing type who changes into a chicken when he's annoyed) to 11:54AM with breakfast, then "Fudget's Budget" (with line-people living on a graph), "Tell-Tale Heart" narrated by James Mason, "The Farmerette" (with a Betty Boop-like city girl who inspires farm animals to work harder), then "Dexter" (extraordinary how the knowledge that the leads got divorced in real life after two years, and are now playing step-brother and -sister with suspicion and acrimony, colors my view of their TV relationship) to 12:55PM, "Lightning Sketches" from 1907 (with Robert Osborne's "most unpleasant words" being "Coon" and "Cohen" that are "lightning-sketched" into a blackface and a jewface) at ninety seconds to 1:07PM with Osborne and Beck talking about brayanimationproject.com and cartoonsonfilm.com in the interim, "Haunted Hotel" Melies-like in melding cartoons with live characters from 1907, "Artist's Dream" about a sausage dog eating sausages from 1913 to 1:19PM, "Down on the Phoney Farm" to 1:25PM, "Bobby Bumps Starts for School" at 2:59 with very pedestrian face-washing and chases to 1:31PM, "Trip to Mars" to 1:35PM, "Fireman Save My Child" from 1920 with Mutt and Jeff to 1:51PM, "Bomb Idea" from 1920 to 1:54PM, "Scents and Nonsense" with Krazy Kat from 1928 to 2:01PM, "Springtime" from 1923 to 2:08PM, and I'm getting tired of recording all these trivial items, and start watching "Adventures of Prince Achmed" from 1926 at 65 minutes, billed as the first, German-woman produced, animated tinted feature film using cut-out silhouettes, that I stop in the middle at 2:57PM because I realize I've GOT to get to the gym for cardio after FOUR days, and find that the steam room is not in service until Thursday, so I debate going BACK in two days, on Wednesday, so I won't have to subject myself to the steam. Get back at 4:30PM and prepare the largest meal in ages: a pork chop, the penultimate serving of frozen peas, and the penultimate portion of apple sauce. Call Marj at 5PM to find that the ink-cancelled stamps on her return envelope still hasn't been delivered, so we still don't know whether it'll be returned to me as undeliverable, or will be sent to her after some delay, or is---horrors!---actually lost. She insists on talking about how "Book of Mormon" can charge $169 for the worst seats in the house, and other junk, to 5:50PM, when I've got to get to 16 Gramercy Park South, waiting a long time for the ride to Court Street, but then the #4 and the #6 trains are almost instant, and I get to the Players Club at 6:30PM to hand Spartacus's slip to the woman who says she wants to know how people got there, and find a seat in the fourth row with a decent-enough view of the twelve chairs on the stage for the fourteen performers, the only notable one being the vein-armed Bayano of William DeMeritt (who turns out to have had MUCH experience listed on his website, looked at tomorrow morning). Back home at 10:25PM to start the debate from DVR. Charles calls at 11PM and I tell him I'll call him back, but then, a minute later, I realize I'm watching the DVR, not the debate, so I stop the recording, phone him back, and talk from 11-11:50PM!! Still haven't cleared the DVR list, still haven't done many of the small items waiting to be handled, but I just weigh 191.4# and bed at 12:20AM.

TUESDAY, 10/23/12: 1:37AM: Pee, 190.4#. 2:14AM: Pee, still 190.4#. 4:34AM: Pee, 189.2#. 6:11AM: Pee, 188.8#. 6:45AM: Check sunrise at 7:16AM. 6:50AM: Pee, 188.0#. FUAS 6:54-7:14AM. Out in SUNLIGHT 7:17-7:35AM, with sun just halfway over the horizon, still a distance north and well in view, and watch a pair of helicopters, not being able to decide whether the white, with lights flashing, is filming the black, with no lights, or vice versa. They go south out of sight down the East River, then north, circling over the Manhattan Bridge, then south again, north again, finally viewing the black helicopter as it continues north toward the United Nations building. Sun changes from cherry red to blazing, eye-searing white toward 7:30AM, less than two weeks from the clock-change on 11/4. Back inside to renew "Zone" until 11/13, making a list of the two Zone books due on 11/2, and the last two due on 11/13. Look up William DeMeritt on Google, and get hooked into two animation websites with LOTS of films from the Library of Congress, and then record Weebly for free websites---for future use?? Typing endlessly, compulsively, on NN until my stomach demands breakfast, now, at 9:15AM, vacuum cleaner sounding outside. LIFE IS GOOD! Breakfast with recorded Presidential Debate 9:22-10:34AM, depressing to watch they both, essentially, say the same thing, with neither obviously "the winner." Finish "Adventures of Prince Achmed" to 10:48AM, "666 Park Avenue" to 11:30AM, talk to DENNY when I call his cell-phone number and Rita answers, 11:30-12, his speech somewhat slurred, but he's said to be doing well after a major operation, and he refers to God more than once when he's thankful for his recovery, friends (including someone from work from nearly thirty years ago), and family. "Carnival of Sinners" (La Main du Diable) from 1943 to 1:56PM, get a call for the penultimate Healthy Heart package delivery at 1PM, watch an "Upstairs, Downstairs" that I really don't follow to 3PM, "Broadway Musicals 1930-1942" to 4:30PM, Paul C. calls and is coming to NYC (and my place) December 22-29, and talks 4-4:20PM. Down for mail, getting both magazines, to 5:15PM, take papers and magazines out, separating out over a half dozen Real Estate sections for Charles, read more of "Infinite" to 7:05PM, watch "City of Prague, underground" for Hitler's munitions to 9PM, and "Men Who Built America" to 11:04PM, astounded how it's ALWAYS the greed for MORE MONEY FOR PLUTOCRATS that causes depressions, riots, and anxiety for the poor. Weigh 188.8#, despite enormous Healthy Heart meals twice today, before going to bed at 11:19PM, hoping to get to sleep quickly to wake early tomorrow.

WEDNESDAY, 10/24/12: 7:20AM: Pee, weigh 187.8#. Type DREAMS:10/24/12 7:24-7:27AM, FUAS 7:28-7:48AM, and lie to 7:51AM when I'm up, groggy, weighing 187.2# before washing face and dressing to 8:09AM, and distribute pills to 8:25AM. Look at e-mails to 8:30AM, getting lots of junk and stuff from Susie and something missing in DREAMS-1972 from third sentence. Catch up with NN, now all the way up to page 94, obsession really working, by 8:44AM. Put laptop and Marj's notes AWAY till FLASHDRIVE located, by 8:50AM. Update 2013 calendar to 9:13AM---Susie LATE? At 8:45AM I'd checked DREAMS-1972 to find it's in AR at WEBDR72.DOC, and the underline is OK; I e-mail Tris that. Check where he IS by ATLANTiC and WEBDR72 and at 9:15AM find that I'd MISNUMBERED my list---the 160s changed into the 110s by mistake, so I've sent him 240 files rather than 190 files---enough to make a Facebook entry! Susie still not buzzed by 9:22AM. I phone Steve to say we might be late, and she shows up at 9:30AM, saying she just missed a train. She leaves three flavors of liqueur, I give her the check, I phone Steve, we leave, getting there at 10:10AM to the aroma of maple syrup, which he serves on pancakes covered with raspberries and blueberries. Two sausage links, ginger tea, and lively conversation carry us just past noon, with perfect music on WQXR. Leave for the Indian Museum, outstanding with its 800,000 items from Tierra del Fuego to the Arctic Circle, with endless touchable boards, and then I wander down the far-south hallway to find that it opens into an incredible selection of Indian-descendant singers and recording artists, making me think I'd taken some kind of psychedelic with the pancakes. Insist they come to visit with me, and I sit on a large chair near the stage, but it unbalances and deposits me on the floor, from which a woman with a cast on one leg extracts by pulling me up. We laugh about it and get back to the display. Steve is sitting more than walking, and we agree to leave at 3:30, when I suggest Fraunces Tavern. The clerk in the souvenir shop, in which Steve is tempted but buys nothing, directs us to Stone Street, and there's the Tavern, crowded in both areas, so we choose a corner of the long room, where I order three sliders, Steve a pastrami sandwich, and Susie another sandwich the lots of fries that I can't resist. She starts with a beery beer while I have an Amsterdam of sorts, cherry-colored and tastier for it. We enjoy the food and drink, and then at 4:50PM decide to walk over to the Staten Island Ferry. Well, I'd never SEEN the bright sign over the new terminal, and people are running like crazy because they recognize it's 4:59 and the ferry is about to leave. We see the doors close in front of us, sit and watch the gathering crowd, and board the 5:30PM boat early to sit on the Statue of Liberty side, where she impresses me as being SMUTCHED on her dark-green tunic. We dock at 5:59PM and follow the crowd around and get onto the John Kennedy, the very one we arrived on. It's cloudier and colder on the way back, but it's also faster, getting us in at 5:55PM, and I joke about getting the Ferry to Staten Island at 6PM. They go uptown on the R while I go downtown, one stop to my station, and off for mail, upstairs to watch television, not needing dinner, and weigh 187.6# when I get to bed at 11:37PM.

THURSDAY, 10/25/12: 7AM: Shit-read to 7:11AM, weighing 186.2#. 7:22AM: No sign of sun in foggy East. 8:23AM: J/o to 9:01AM(?), look at current "South Park" to 9:45AM, weighing 185.6#. Breakfast and Tsunami to 10:49AM, Sharon calling to cancel tonight until next week. Read "Infinity" to page 369 to 11:54AM, then go to the gym to laze through exercises to 1:45PM. Toba sees me on the elevator, and asks for me to e-mail him the travel information: he may be doing door flyers! I check website to 3:45PM, still not DREAMS in 1980s, mainly through #178. Watch "Dinosaurs" and "Hawaii" while having an enormous pork chop with the last of the peas and almost the last of the applesauce. That goes to 5:02PM, I talk to Marj 5:03-5:18PM and cry about loss of flashdrive. Then Taipei, winning most, from 5:20-6:30PM, and phone Charles to leave message about his stuttering phone-ring. Catch up with this to 6:47PM, ready to spend the rest of the evening watching TV. Do that, messing up the final section of "What is the Earth Worth?" so that I have to space forward the whole thing to view the final section tomorrow. Finish the tuna casserole, which has devolved into a watery mess, just to clear that out of the fridge. Weigh 188.9# when I get to bed at 11:18PM.

FRIDAY, 10/26/12: 5:47AM: Pee, weigh 186.8#. Type DREAMS:10/26/12 5:53-5:55AM. Up at 6:33AM, thinking of: 1) solving FiOS red light, 2) sorting "discard" slides to see how many I DO have to DVD, 3) listing files NOT on website. Pee, still 186.6#. FUAS 6:40-7AM, and up at 7:03AM with added thoughts: 4) updating AS list, 5) checking Ades reviews. Pee, and at 7:08AM weigh 185.8#. With clothes, at 7:30AM, I weigh 190.6#, so clothes weigh 4.8#. Check Ades reviews of "The Tempest," most of which talk about the hyper-soprano of Ariel, the good music, and the bad verse. Verizon fuss to 8:30AM, finally ordering the battery from eBay for $22, hopefully reduced to $12 by PayPal, to 10:11AM! 10:15AM: Pee and weigh 188.5# WITH clothes, and disrobe, hoping to weigh under 185#, but weigh 186.2#. Watch "God and the Universe" with breakfast of HH scrambled eggs to 11:10AM, finish "Earth's Worth" to 11:40, rather sad that it's "only" eight quadrillion dollars, with two-thirds of it being water. Read fourth-last chapter of "Infinity" to 12:15PM, finding that the little beep from the exhausted battery is every fifteen minutes. Sew gym pants to 12:28PM and finish this to 12:36PM. Transcribe FUAS to Actualism card to 12:45PM, MOST days between now and 7/5, when I acronymed. Call Charles and a LADY answers, and gives the phone to HIM, but at 12:48PM he has to call me back because he's fussing with fitting in a refrigerator that doesn't fit, since his old one went bad, spoiling tons of food, while he was in the nursing home. I crowed that the LADY WORKED! Make list of files yet to be added to website from 12:50-2:30PM, discouraged that there are so MANY of them with different time-lines all through the 1970s. Lunch with TV to 4PM, then play a disastrous Spider [and have to LOOK at icons to REMEMBER the NAME Spider!] 4-6:15PM, not even bothering to calculate the poor results. Then decide to attack the LAST item on this morning's list and look to sorting and throwing out the "discard" slides, making a list from 6:15PM and finding that I hadn't even recorded (that I could find) the number of discards for trip[s 83-95, the last of the slide-taking trips. But from the previous page I find that I have over 9000 discards and 9680 total slides in shows. Get down the first box from the top of the shelves the "show" slides are stacked on, discards box D, and throw out 131 from Mexico, 100 from Russia/China, 68 from NYC July 1986 (finding some great shots of the World Trade Center with ships), 25 from Venice (bought), 94 from Italy 1982, and 269 from Germany/Turkey, making a total of 687 slides dumped into the kitchen wastebasket moved into the living room. Have soup while watching Bill Maher and get to bed at 11:58PM, weighing 188.2#.

SATURDAY, 10/27/12: 7:49AM: Pee, get Times, still 188.2#. Foggy out, no sunrise to be seen. Type DREAMS:10/27/12 7:55-7:59AM. FUAS 8-8:20AM, lie to 8:33AM. Shit-read Times to 9:07, down to 186.8#. Finish last Sunday's puzzle with a few clues from the solution, get stalled on the crossword and can't even make a good start on the odd Rows and Circles special puzzle. Finish reading Deutsch: The Beginning of Infinity" at 1:35PM, having determined to finish at least ONE multi-renewed book. Started on 9/26, taking just over a month to finish it. Didn't even indicate many passages to give the flavor of the intensely difficult book: it seems he mainly aimed at disproving what most of the preceding philosophers thought they proved, but with his superior knowledge Deutsch "proved" them wrong, though many times it seemed he was battling about the meaning of words. Page 275 yielded "...one known phenomenon...is the creation of a certain type of knowledge, namely a beginning of infinity. Indeed, knowledge can aim itself at a target, travel vast distances having scarcely any effect, and then utterly transform the destination." Problems are inevitable, but also soluble, and none can produce an impassable barrier to progress. Page 416: "The beginning of creativity was, in that sense, the beginning of infinity." Every chapter, except 18, the last, ends with a collected "Terminology," "Meanings of 'The Beginning of Infinity' encountered in this chapter," and a Summary, usually overstated and grandiose. Not the most satisfying book. The physicist's review of the book of August, 2011, that got me to get it from the library, is actually more useful than the whole book itself. Note that I paid $22 to rayemtay for my FiOS back-up battery with receipt #0261-0148-5573-1548. Then get to the gym to 3:25PM, when I get a phone call from Charles that he has to go see Bill tonight and thus can't go to the opera [and it turns out he actually doesn't have the energy to do THAT, but on Sunday tells me he asked Mildred to phone to see if SHE could find if Bill REALLY has TB, but she said she wouldn't press her questions of the hospital staff because "she could be arrested and sent to prison." She really is crazy. So I phone Steve (who's busy), and Piri and Carolyn and Spartacus, with whom I have to leave a message, to see if I can get his replacement, who will thus enjoy a $100 seat for free. Piri and Spartacus eventually call to say they don't want the ticket, but Carolyn calls at 5:05PM from the boat returning from Bear Mountain, and I say I've had my meal so I can't treat HER to dinner ALSO (talk about wanting the MOON!), but will meet her at 8PM at the left, uncrowded, side of the lobby where I'll have to get a slip to replace Charles's (lost) ticket. Back to Spider 3:25-4:45PM, winning enough so I can calculate results: 51.76756 at 1019 up, only one lower than previous high, after 4 wins. Call Marj briefly to bemoan the fact that we STILL haven't gotten our flashdrive back from the post office. I say I'll go there on Monday, but Hurricane Sandy changes THAT plan. Then eat a Healthy Heart dinner while watching TV, and leave at 7:10PM to get to the Met early. Get a replacement slip for Charles's ticket at 7:55PM, the manager suggesting, as occurred to me, that the late start is because of the late ending of "Othello" this afternoon. Sit on a chair until 8:10PM, annoyed with Carolyn for not showing up, and finally, after standing in the MIDDLE of the empty left-side of the lobby until 8:25PM, hand the slip back to the manager, who writes the name Carolyn, and then Meiselbach, on the ticket. I get to my seat and at 8:02PM a tiny, crop-haired, old lady climbs into Carolyn's seat! I ask if she's named Carolyn, and she IS, saying that "Bill promised to leave a seat for me." But not THIS one, is all I can say. "The Tempest" is actually pretty bad: first the SCREECHING of the Ariel of Audrey Luna is PAINFUL, and her words are so un-understandable and RAPID that reading the subtitles is actually DIFFICULT even for me, though a rapid reader. It helps that the subtitles are also projected on a bar at the front of the stage, but it does NOT help that the guy in front of me sometimes leans forward to BLOCK that view. The faces of William Burden as the King of Naples, and particularly Alek Shrader (from Cleveland, yet) as Ferdinand, make viewing somewhat pleasant, but the dancing is just CRAZY with non-sexy costumes. Simon Keenlyside as Prospero is more attractive than his photos project, but he has no real charisma, as he might have proved in his previous "Hamlet" at the Met. Thank goodness the first intermission is only a pause of four minutes, and during the second intermission the second Carolyn tries to look for her actual seat while I go down to talk to the manager, who says he stayed around until 8:45PM and no OTHER Carolyn showed up for HER ticket. It's estimated to end at 11:05, actually ends at 11:14PM, vivid applause, particularly for Ades, the conductor. I get home at 12:10AM expecting to see a message from Carolyn, but there isn't any, and no response to the message I leave on her phone at that time. Weigh 186.6# when I get to bed at 12:22AM.

SUNDAY, 10/28/12: 5:54AM: Pee, weigh 185.8#, get Times (earliest?), and type DREAMS:10/28/12 5:58-6:05AM. 7:44: Up to see no sunrise, pee, 185.8# still. Type dreams two and three 7:47-7:59AM. FUAS 8:01-8:21AM, lie to 8:44AM, obsessing over 1) FiOS paying for battery, 2) Carolyn, 3) Denny, 4) Charles, 5) slide-box list, 6) flashdrive and PO. Weigh 185.2#, lowest yet. Dress to 8:54AM. Breakfast with TV. Talk to Carolyn 9:35-9:50AM when her phone cuts me off: she was THERE 8:05-8:30PM last night, but on the RIGHT side when manager told her that ticket EXCHANGES (which I hadn't said) were in the big line on the right, which is where she waited. She finally dismisses her evil thoughts of me not being there, and I try (but really don't) to do the same. I leave two more messages with her to 10AM, then call Charles and WE talk to 11:15AM, he definitely planning to see Bill today. Then call Rita's phone and she's driving, so Denny answers, slightly slurring some names, 11:15-11:22AM. Then I tackle Verizon 11:23-11:29AM, they saying they only insure service for one year, and I started in 2010. Talk to Spartacus about that to 11:35AM. I return to slides, numbering boxes 1 and 2, and start on Hawaii '83 when RITA calls, Denny's sister Jan driving, and will return on Allegiant Air from---can't think of the Disney city---to Fort Wayne, and we talk 11:50AM-12:30PM. Spartacus calls and says I can come over NOW to install Roku for him, and I'm there 1:05-2:30PM, making some progress, but he has to phone on Monday to get his system going even after seemingly putting in correct wireless name and coding. I talk to Carolyn again 2:30-2:45, and she says SHE called both her son and her brother, both Tris, and changed the Henry's End birthday dinner to next Saturday, November 3 at 5:30, because subways go out of service at 7PM this evening due to the high winds expected from Hurricane Sandy. I have a Healthy Heart lunch (bad cold chicken and barley salad) while watching "Bedlam" to 3:55PM, again thinking it just isn't worth watching. Work on boxes M1-19 to 8:40PM, missing my BEST porn, which I finally find in the little box at 8:54PM. Sort slides endlessly into the best orgasmic order in boxes M19-20 to 9:49AM, tired! Soup dinner with "Boardwalk Empire" 9:59-11PM, and watch the dire weather report to 11:25PM. Worst will be tomorrow, no subway or schools, but they never mention the post office or mail delivery. Brush teeth and listen to wind and weigh 187.8# when I get to bed at 11:34PM.

MONDAY, 10/29/12: 7:11AM: Type DREAMS:10/29/12 to 7:16AM. Pee, still weighing 187.8#. Make note to make Tanzania sheet. Watch TV weather to 7:52AM: high tides about 8AM today will be bad, but tonight, with full moon and poor winds, will be worst about 8PM, Zone A evacuated, highest winds could be 90 mph! Predicting MANY blackouts, so I make a point to catch up with this. Shit-read to 8:04AM, weighing 186.2#. 8:05AM: DAMMIT, take two NIGHT pills! By 8:30AM I laboriously cover air conditioner for the winter, getting out lap robe to keep warm anyway. Check e-mail to 8:35AM, endless MTA messages about stopping service. Finally catch up with this to 10:17AM, incredibly long, but printed two pages, cleared LOTS of stuff off desk from the weekend, and---where the fuck did the MET card go!!!?? Make NEW Met card, until I find old one, and finish this AGAIN at 10:26AM, stomach grumbling for breakfast. Will backup WP51 in case power goes out. That goes well to 10:29AM. Breakfast with TV weather to 11:30AM, and then make four Tanzania "posters" by 11:52AM. Put one up in the laundry room, and go downstairs to meet Toba, by chance, at 12:05PM, and he takes one, saying that he'll distribute flyers! I hope so! Up to phone Spartacus and get three RECORDED messages---how could I NOT have heard phone? Something wrong? Talk to Ken 12:15-12:30: He's out of power and has hearings scheduled for Wednesday, but has no idea who'll be there. Call Edgardo 12:35-12:38PM, who suggested a walk in Central Park this afternoon. Funny! Then try to phone Spartacus SIX times but get "All circuits busy" to 12:42PM. Discard 412 slides by 3:55PM, watch weather on TV to 5:40PM, watch "Dexter" with a late lunch to 6:35PM, then "POV: Nostalgia for the Light" about the Atacama Desert and women searching for their "disappeared" to 8:07PM. Watch "666 Park Avenue," which Rita call to interrupt, influencing me to put batteries on to charge and take photos of the power outage in Manhattan---the construction lights on World Trade One HAD been on, but then they were switched off---which I finally succeed in doing at 9:53PM, checking the time on my camera images. Finish "666 Park Avenue" at 10PM, watch "Broadway Musicals 1943-1960" to 11PM, and more weather on TV by 11:30PM, the high tide at full moon tonight, coupled with high winds, makes for a true catastrophe from Hurricane Sandy. I weigh 188.4# when I get to bed at 11:44PM.

TUESDAY, 10/30/12: 7:02AM: Pee, weighing 186.4#, lower Manhattan still lightless. Type DREAMS:10/30/12 7:08-7:12AM. Back to bed, and up at 7:33AM. TV about TERRIBLE weather: subway tunnels flooded, eighty houses burnt in Breezy Point, blocks of houses in coastal New Jersey damaged by ocean flooding, to 8:24AM. Breakfast to 9:15AM, reading a magazine. Talk to Ken 9:15-9:30AM, still problematic, and Paul C. calls. Get to slide discarding again at 9:41AM. Work through to 11AM, when Marj calls and talks for about half an hour. Continue on slides to around 2PM, when I go out to see big trees snapped off in the block across from the gym, which is open, and continue to Montague Street, where Key Food is closed, and go up to the second floor for HIP, ignoring the shouting man from the desk on the ground floor, to find it closed, and down to the man who says he doesn't know when HIP will be open. I'm back to get gym clothes and my camera, taking pictures at 2:18PM (again checking time on my camera images) of the GREEN leaves under the cars and the foliage under the Saint George marquee and against the building across the street. The gym is CROWDED, and she says it wasn't open yesterday, which might explain the jam of people. Back home at 4:10-5PM for a catastrophe on the Spider front, not even keeping score, but hungry for a late lunch. WQXR was only static on the radio, so I put TV on while I had lunch, worked on more slides, and back to Spider 6:50-9:20PM, just GIVING UP at lousy games, not really interested in PLAYING, but not knowing what else to do. Watch "Upstairs, Downstairs" for an hour, weigh 186.6# when I get to bed at 11:46PM.

WEDNESDAY, 10/31/12: 6:30AM: Pee, down to 186.0#. Type DREAMS:10/31/12 6:35-6:40AM. 7:17AM: Pee, still 186.0#. FUAS 7:20-7:40AM, lie to 7:58AM. Back to slides while my fingers are still nimble enough to work with them, and now it turns out that WQXR is working! Watch "Men Who Built America" for two hours, disappointed that the subsequent episodes aren't nearly as impressive as the first two hours were. I get out to Key Food for lots of groceries at noon, back to find my Portalac battery arrived, and install that, with difficulty, putting the VHS tapes back with great muscular exertion. Call Steve 12:45-12:58PM to find that he's about to leave to bunk with a friend on the upper West Side until he gets power back to his apartment. Talk to Marj, REALLY VERY DISTURBED, 1-1:32PM, and then to Ken, who's going to "The Tempest" at the Met tonight and then moving into an expensive hotel room until HIS apartment regains power. Marj mentions that the city has to fix the 14th Street substation before they can even START pumping water out of the flooded tunnels. Later, WQXR announces that the mayor is running subways north of 34th Street, and mentions "busses across the bridges to other boroughs." I work on slides 2:25-5:30PM, when I'm tired enough to microwave a Salisbury Steak and Macaroni and Cheese packet that I got from Key Food this noon. Spider 7-8:15PM to 51.74982 at 1010 up after 2 wins. More slides, more TV, and Susie calls about 9PM to say she's been without power since Monday evening, and AS WE SPEAK her power comes back on. Delightful! I finally finish the Sunday Times---oh, and the library was closed, too, so I can't take my books back just yet. Weigh 186.0# even after an enormous fried chicken, mashed potatoes, and corn dinner from 10PM while watching Ellen DeGeneres at the Mark Twain Awards. Bed at 12:21AM, after checking that my warfarin prescription IS renewable once!

THURSDAY, 11/1/12: I wake, think, "It's probably after 8AM," and find it's 7:49AM! Pee, still 186.0#. Type DREAMS:11/1/12 8:03-8:10AM, call HIP and 8:11AM and find "All circuits busy" three times. Pee again for twenty seconds, and down to 185.2#, tying my lowest weight ever! 8:16AM: Still "circuits busy." FU 8:20-8:40, mind involved in just THINKING. Lie to 8:54AM, STILL at 185.2#, STILL circuits busy. So many thoughts that I type a WHERE AM I NOW? from 8:59-9:30AM. 9:32AM: NO new e-mail---circuits busy? 9:38AM: Weigh 185.2# WITH underwear and SOCKS on! Breakfast with a new "South Park" to 10AM. Watch "Countdown to Armageddon" to 11:08AM, smiling at the knowledge it was made BEFORE Hurricane Sandy! 11:12AM: STILL circuits busy. But then Spartacus calls from 11:30-11:50, interrupted by Sharon on call-waiting, to say that she has no transportation into the city, so we'll have to wait for our next session. At noon I leave word with Tris, to see how he fared in south New Jersey, and called Spartacus to find THEY don't get "circuits busy" only HIP does. 12:05PM: Make four CVS prescription renewals, Charles's phone just rings and rings, and still HIP is circuits busy. Finally catch up with this by 12:48PM, ready for the gym! Again it's crowded, and I pick up four prescriptions from CVS at 2:30, check that HIP isn't going to be open THIS WEEK, and stop at Key Food for even more specials to 3PM. At 101 Clark I go into the office to say that there's NO information about the 7PM show, and she promises to post it. I'm back to drop stuff on floor, call Marj for a bit, have the wonderful Key Food chicken with toast, and then take down the large screen, people stopping by to chat about travel and Tanzania, and Toba and Julio are packing up the last of the Halloween stuff, and Julio endears himself by stepping in front of the projector light and "miming" (yeah!) flexing his muscles in the spotlight. I'm back up to get the projector and slides and papers, and find that I have to move the podium to the SIDE of the audience so that the relatively short forward-slide wire reaches me at the podium. That goes to 5:20PM and I'm back up to talk to Marj 5:22-5:32PM, and she's overjoyed at the help I'm getting. I go back down, having changed, at 5:55, reading New Yorker, and some guy comes in at 6:15 to hand me two brochures and a dozen cards about a Tanzania travel service. Others come in early to chat, I arrange for more chairs, and by 7PM there are about a dozen people, many of them saying they expect others. I start talking, more come in; Toba arrives to help add chairs, and by 7:20PM there are about forty people in attendance. Show goes VERY well, the light on the podium permitting me to read the names of the animals and towns and sights in great detail. It's over at 8:30PM, to great applause; people pick up two brochures and three Tanzania cards, others stay to talk, and I lug the stuff back up to get a call from Paul MacLean, which I return. Play Taipei 9-10:07PM just for relaxation, and then have the last of the Healthy Heart meals, a pork dinner with huge sweet potato, and watch the end of "Countdown to Armageddon" and two episodes of "MI-5." Figure I'm changing already to "fall back" one hour on Sunday, and go to bed at 1:04AM, weighing 185.2#.

WHERE AM I NOW? 11/1/12

THURSDAY, 11/1/12: 8:59AM: So many things HANGING! Look at INTENSELY blue sky outside, through windows flecked with dried mud from the storm. Still getting "Circuits busy" on the phone. So many things PENDING: 1) Is HIP open today, as it wasn't yesterday? 2) Find yesterday that I have one renewal on 4 mg. warfarin, and one pill left; should I renew it? But then I'd have to phone CVS! 3) Think of travel show at 7PM this evening: should I start by saying we should talk about storm first? Or afterwards? 4) Didn't check with Carlos on Tuesday, after I asked him to get my blind 14 days ago---wait even more days? 5) Decide to GO to post office with this story: I SAW that there was a light pen-cancel over the stamps and put envelope on table to add new stamps, but my associate MAILED it, thinking to help me. What's your policy when you find the stamps have been canceled? 6) Wonder how Ken liked "The Tempest" last night; how the crowd was; how his hotel went? 7) Amazed at the memory of talking to Susie on the phone last night and having her power be restored RIGHT THEN! 8) Resolve NOT to talk to Marj since she's SO affected by her power outage! 9) Have decided to WAIT at 185.2# and not eat to actually reduce to 184#! 10) Brought in slide sheets to record that I discarded 687 slides on 10/26, 412 on 10/29, 353 on 10/30, and 371 on 10/31 for a total of 1823, very roughly 10% of my total holdings, so it would take VERY roughly forty more days to process the REST of them! 11) Expect a bill from Tris this morning---but maybe he has his power out? 12) Try phone again at 9:14AM and STILL circuits busy after more than an HOUR! 13) Did FU 8:20-8:40AM and never got CLOSE to doing Actualism: just THINKING! 14) Realize I've managed to put a ! or a ? after every note so far, so I didn't have to think that if I'd closed with a , I'd start with a lowercase letter, or closed with a . that took a capital letter at the start of the next note! 15) And record that I've SAVED twenty boxes of M (male) slides containing 639 slides, averaging 32 slides per box; and 18 OTHER boxes containing 626 slides, averaging 34.77 slides per box, or 1265 SAVED, added to 1823 DISCARDED makes 3088 HANDLED, roughly 15%! 16) Still haven't updated NN from Monday, leaving FOUR days as yet to be recorded! 17) Try phone at 9:30AM: STILL circuits busy! Weigh STILL 185.2#, and decide to STOP being OCD-like and dress and eat breakfast.

FRIDAY, 11/2/12: 3:04AM: Pee, still 185.2#. 7:50AM: Mympths, variable, for a few seconds. 7:57AM: Shit-read to 8:34AM, weighing LEAST of 183.6#! FUAS 9:10-9:30AM, lie to 9:35AM. Talk to Carolyn about her dinner tomorrow from 9:37-9:47AM, finding that her brother and sister-in-law moved in with friends in more-western New Jersey since their house was without power. Check e-mail to 9:53AM, getting another stupid Virgin Mobile billing top-up note again. Watch "MI-5" with breakfast to 11:11AM. Then move the "Zone" books to desk to type up notes, and get a call from Ron: MY ENVELOPE IS HERE! Down to GET it, phone Marj 11:32-11:54AM, putting her off to listen to Ken calling from the Westin Times Square Hotel, for which he's paying $386.10 BEFORE taxes, who said that the Met was pretty crowded Wednesday, and he agreed with my luke-warm view of "The Tempest" rather than the praise of the press. Talk to him 11:54AM-12:41PM, getting a call from Spartacus which I then return 12:53-1:43PM, and get back to typing this to 2:08PM, ready for "Zone" notes. "Enter the Zone": p.xv: "using food, via eicosanoids, to the zone." P.58: "Walk six hours per week." P.61: "injecting human growth hormone is good." P.66: "3 g. protein with 4 g. carbs." I measure waist of 40 inches and wrist of 7.5 inches to find from table that I have 27% body fat, so my activity factor is 80, entitling me to 12 power blocks: the perfect day being breakfast at 9AM, lunch at 2PM, snack at 7PM, dinner at 9PM, bed ad midnight. "Anti-Inflammation Zone," p.23: Arachidonic acid divided by aicosapentaenoic acid equals Silent Inflammation Profile---higher is bad." P.41: Tg/HDL ratio. "Toxic Fat": P.2: "Arachidonic acid(AA) is toxic fat." P.31: "Excess insulin makes us fat." P.44: "Need omega-3 fatty acids." P.75: "Statins increase AA." P.94: "Corn and peas are STARCHY." P.113: "EPA and DHA doses should be five grams/day," and I take 360 mg. times 8 or 2.880 grams/day. P.119: "Sesame oil good." P.148: "Five grams EPA after dinner, no munchies." NO INDEX for the book. Return them to the library at 2:17PM. Lunch of frozen fried chicken and mashed potatoes with "MI-5" and then continue eating an orange, then yogurt, and search Roku and watch "Martha Marcy May Marlene" from 5:55PM; "Veep" annoying after only two episodes; "Chaplin: Kid Auto Races in Venice" from 1914, he's just obnoxious in first film as the little tramp; "Speak Easily" from 1932 with Keaton as a false-rich Broadway-show investor; and back to FiOS for "Bill Maher" in a too-lively discussion. About 8PM I couldn't stand hunger and RAVAGED the roast chicken from Key Food with iced drinks of Cherry Southern Comfort and Irish Cream Soda to boot. Just plain old pigged out, but still weighed only 186.0# when I got to bed at 12:20AM, realizing that TOMORROW when I go to bed it'll be one hour earlier thanks to the time change. A nice thing about reducing seems to be that I CAN overeat---at least by a bit---and still not actually GAIN weight back. Also conscious, now, of getting to the bottom of page 100 of file NN, which I will finish off before starting file NO!

SATURDAY, 11/3/12: Saw LIGHTS in southern Manhattan just after midnight! 7:06AM: Pee, weigh 185.2#. Up at 7:27, still 185.2#. Times comes. 7:33AM look at sunrise ONLY on air conditioner, finding from the Times that the actual sunrise is at 7:29AM today and 6:30AM tomorrow. Go through the entire Times before starting on the puzzle 9:35-10:10AM, and they're not that easy, so I stop for breakfast with New York magazine, stopping just at 11AM when Marj calls to verify that she got power at 4:23AM this morning, hearing her printer cycle, and later peeing to find that she had hot water in her bathtub; VERY happy that she doesn't have to worry about flushing now. I get off the phone with her at 11:40AM to leave word with Ken on his machine, welcoming him back, and phone Steve, first getting some strange message, and then REDIALING to find that he JUST unlocked his door. He was explaining the possibility of his friend Tom's introduction to me at Wednesday's slide show, and I said I hoped the subway would be returned by then, and then KEN interrupts on my call waiting, so I finish with Steve and Ken says he's decided to stay one more night in the hotel: he has a restaurant and play reservation in the Times Square area tonight, and there's no heat or hot water in his apartment yet, and anyway since he hadn't cancelled tonight by 4PM yesterday, he thinks, they might have charged for his room anyway. Call Marj back to crow about their success, and we get into another conversation about how Spartacus thinks I'm crazy to send the canceled-stamp envelope through the mails again, but Marj thinks it's the only sensible thing to do. Then I return to NN, finishing off and printing page 100, and start this page one on file NO by 1:10PM, having checked e-mail to see that the MTA DID announce service on the Lexington Avenue line, and I fill up the screen with my writing about today. WHEW! Debate having lunch, but go back to puzzles 1:11-3:25PM and FINISH both after GOOGLING 4-5 answers! Then do SLIDES to 5:10PM, dragging myself away with only two sets of boxes left in---no other way of saying it---the box on the table, and get to Henry's End at 5:25PM, meeting Nancy on the way walking there, and we're already six waiting outside: Carolyn, Tris and his woman, and Scott and Mary and Nancy, and Tris opens the door and we all go in, and I sit next to Carolyn as I demand. Ordering is a hassle, particularly for the admittedly pain-in-the-ass Alicia, who's 84 and a total ditz, wanting the BLANDEST entree and NOT being able to choose between mashed potatoes and broccoli and NOT being sure about wine, but the old waitress is infinitely patient with her, and finally Carolyn calls Tris, her brother, to find he's circling looking for a parking place. I order a bubbly and the boar ragout, and then realize I don't have enough money to pay, so I ask for a separate Visa bill and that initiates an exasperating round of EVERYONE wanting special service, but I end up giving young Tris my last $20, saying to apply it to Carolyn's bill, which turns out to be $13 after her $22 discount for the birthday card, and Tris announces to all that I've paid for Carolyn. We leave about 7:30, walk the long way back to Tris's car on Cadman Plaza, and drive to Carolyn's to go in for corn chips, caramel corn, my bottle of awful Cherry Southern Comfort, which I drink and leave the rest for her, and she gloriously burns the crust of a pumpkin pie and undercooks an apple pie, both of wich are totally delicious. They talk and I listen, and finally just get my coat and leave at 10:46PM, saying goodbye to the smokers on the front step, and amaze myself by walking briskly to return home by 11:07PM, making record time of only 23 minutes when it usually takes a half hour or more. Undress, brush teeth, happy that I weigh "only" 188.6# after all the bread and butter and mashed potatoes and boar and booze and desserts and chips and popcorn, and bed at 11:32PM.

SUNDAY, 11/4/12: 4:09AM: Awful lower-leg cramps. Type DREAMS:11/4/12 4:14-4:18AM, night-lights bright outside, but Brooklyn Bridge lights still out on the Manhattan side. 187.2#; cramps linked to alcohol? 7:33AM I again miss sunrise, still 187.2#. Type a second dream 7:37-7:43AM, back to bed, leg cramps passed. 8:30AM: Times arrives, pee, 186.4#. FUAS 8:35-9:03AM, lie to 9:08AM. Clip toenails to 9:23AM, clip dead leaves on plants to 9:38AM, finish Times to 10:58AM, call Charles and talk 10:59-11:58AM, and then to Marj, where I piss her off by not listening to her plight, she says, and HANGS UP at 12:19, having at least told me she did NOT get the envelope, and that the three words she tantalized me with in last night's message were "He may be right" (and I've got this TERRIBLY wrong, but I will NOT call Marj to ask her what the 3-letter and 4-letter words were before "right," that weren't my written-down-comment words: "Of course NOTHING crossed my mind at first, because CLEARLY you were calling about something ELSE, so it was only much LATER, the next MORNING in fact, that it crossed my mind that it MAYBE could be summed up in three PARTICULARLY short words, like the nine letters of "It has come." But then it was really a NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE occurrence, so I really had to put it OUT OF MY MIND until I could contact you at 11AM---but, then, I thought, what COULD it be??? you called SO LATE (at 6:30PM!)." But she was only saying it would be totally ironic if SPARTACUS was proved right that we should NOT send the envelope again, which is NOW COMPLETELY lost! I have breakfast with a magazine to 12:50, talking to Marj 12:51-2:14PM, she's STILL pissed that I undervalue her, disrespect her, and am interested ONLY in what interests ME, not HER life values. Um. Shit-read to 2:33PM, water and trim plants to 2:35PM, and change clocks one hour, falling back to 2:05PM. Then play another poor Spider 2:06-3:40PM, ending at 51.74718 at 1009 up after 5 wins. Then print the first page of NO, binding the hundred pages of NN into one batch, and catch up with this to 4:15PM, hungry for lunch. Heat a frozen dinner, have another orange, and watch TV, finding that they delay "Men Who Made America" to next week, so I watch "Boardwalk Empire" almost as it airs, and then "666 Park Avenue" AS it airs, ending by watching weather forecast of ANOTHER storm on Wednesday and Thursday. Then finish the Key Food chicken, smelling up the place, and weigh 188.8# when I get to bed at 11:47PM.

MONDAY, 11/5/12: 6:13AM: Pee, weighing 187.4#. Type DREAMS:11/4/12 6:16-6:23AM, dress for sunrise, but clouds obscure the east to 6:31AM. Pee again, still 187.4#, and back to bed at 6:36AM. 9:25AM: Shit-read to 9:39AM, weighing 185.6#. 9:44AM: Check e-mail, 49 new messages, 90% MTA repeats of service and lack thereof. Taipei to 10:18AM, winning about half, and register for Met lottery by 10:23AM. Breakfast with magazine, and just start switching slide reels from Tanzania to South Pacific Islands when Ken calls at 11:45AM to say that he wants to eat, ignoring Shake Shack, at Dallas BBQ at 180 Livingston ASAP, so I say I'll meet him in his 18th floor Hearing Room 1 at 111 Livingston. Dress, wash face, and get FIVE lovely Tanzania posters from the secretary downstairs before leaving and getting to know-nothing guy on 18th floor of 111 Livingston---and I think they took my pen when I took the stuff out of my pockets for the security gate---who directs me to a shoddy waiting room, and then Ken comes into the other area and we meet in the hall. Down to crowded streets to half-full Dallas BBQ, and the waitress is great as I have the $8 black bean burger, giving Ken $10 for their non-electric Visa bill, and he says I've IMPROVED in self-involvement over the years, yet remembering my keeping my Ciprofloxacin (and I have to go to dop kit to get the name) flight to myself when he needed it on ONE trip, and how I simply ignored his collapse to the floor of the flight to somewhere on ANOTHER trip. Yet he agrees I've gotten better. I compliment the waitress on her services. Back to find the gates up for piles of mail, clear my desk, and catch up with this at 2:22PM, then play Spider 2:23-3PM, to 51.74873 to 1010 up after 2 wins, and then ready to return to the slides in the living room. Talk to Marj 5-5:45PM, Susie from 6:10-6:50PM, her power out again only hours after it flashed on while she was talking to me on Wednesday. Get KENPAC ready and file Schwab to 7:13PM. Review those slides to 7:50PM, then handle new discards to 8:53PM, watch "Dexter" to 9:52PM and part of "MI-5" to 10:10PM, weigh 189.0# and bed at 10:28PM.

TUESDAY, 11/6/12: 5:54AM: Shit-read to 6:20AM, weigh 187.4#. Look for sunrise, but missed it 6:31-6:40AM, PAST by 11/6 AM. 6:50AM, still 187.4#, back to bed. 7:14AM: Up and breakfast with Channel 13's "Pioneers of Tomorrow" to 8:25AM. Slides to 12:40PM, interrupted by talking with Spartacus 11:07-11:39AM. "Broadway Musical" with lunch to 2PM. Line of ten or so too long to wait for vote, so I get mail of New York magazine, read that to 3PM, vote with only three ahead of me downstairs at 3:39-3:49PM, talk to Marj 4:22-5PM, elated that my flashdrive FINALLY arrived, she complimenting me on my EXACT duplication of the pen cancellation that caused the trouble. She agrees she'll cash the checks, duplicate all the DIRECT and other play files, and send the flashdrive back to me so I can make corrections from past. Edgardo calls at 5PM, saying he's afraid to sleep, that Obama will lose, but I assume him he'll win and he can sleep. I look for Healthy Heart meals, which didn't show up, so I have to call tomorrow. I do slides to 9PM, watch "Upstairs, Downstairs" to 10PM, eat more than usual, and sucked into election TV, surfing channels until Chicago erupts with cheers at 11:25PM when Obama gets smaller states for 280 winning Electoral College votes, Florida not even finished voting yet with people standing in line after polls closed at 8PM, able to vote if they stay in line---but for over four hours???! Weigh 189.8# before bed at 11:35PM.

WEDNESDAY, 11/7/12: 1:06AM: Pee twice, and COLD in room. 4:34AM: Pee, weigh 188.6#, type DREAMS:11/7/12 to 4:40AM. 5:17AM: Pee, still 188.6#, Obama won by MORE than a million votes AS WELL as getting the Electoral College 303 votes. Up at 7:17AM, feeling strangely sensual, and j/o (?) to 8AM, weighing 187.8#. 8:30AM: Pee, weighing 186.4#, Obama now up by OVER two million, so no CHANCE the Republicans can contest the win. And now a STORM is coming! At 8:30AM I leave word with Ken, whose phone message sounds weird. 8:34-8:37AM: Check blood slip at HIP, good until 11/15! Finish talking with John at 8:43AM: he got my e-mail, probably won't show up on Friday. Talk to Steve to 8:55AM, both happy with Obama's win, and he might come to Friday's slides even though Susie and John not coming: he said he'd phoned Bill Petersen that he'd visit Friday. Phone Virgin Mobile and insist they not bother me with e-mails to 9:16AM. Check with Healthy Heart to find no delivery this week; they'll credit me for the two meals that I check for NEXT week: 11/13-15. That goes to 9:21AM, and I decide to phone FotoBridge, getting live chat at 9:25AM, accepting a few loose slides in frames, and porn if I tell them about it, and Jackie gives me a 5% discount, which I have to phone them about: their code is JACKIEHOLIDAY5, not JACKIEHOLIDAYS, as I'd erroneously recorded it---with the great-sounding thumbnail sheet for an added $209.95, bringing it to a total of $2105.90 before the 50%, which reduces it to $2000.60. I have breakfast while watching "MI-5" to 11:07AM, work on slides 12:01-1:30PM, Spartacus calls from his odd sleeping pattern and we talk 1:30-2:35PM, and then AVI calls and talks from 2:45-3:45PM, giving him Vicki Moss's address and number as maybe wanting to buy Joe Easter's paintings, at which point I put on a large Salisbury Steak with Corn and EDGARDO calls back from 3:50-3:55PM, delighted with Obama's win, amazed by my report of the SNOW that's pouring outside, finally beginning to STICK as it cools to 30°. I continue with slides, talking to Marj about my purchase, and she agrees with Spartacus that FedEx or UPS are probably better than USPS. Down for mail of New Yorker and LATE TV Guide. Play Spider 6:13-7:30PM, not having enough at 51.74825 to 1010 up after 4 wins, I continue playing almost to nausea to 10PM, ending at 51.7437 at 1008 up after 4 wins, UGH. Then catch up with THIS laboriously to 11PM, having to reprint page 2 because I messed up the Spider records. Now for DINNER! Have last of frozen-food dinners, putting out Cream of Mushroom Soup can to remind myself to make my tuna casserole tomorrow, watching "Moving Moai on Easter Island," not quite what I thought the program would be, very tired toward the end, and weighing 188.0# when I get to bed at 12:23AM.

THURSDAY, 11/8/12: 4:36AM: Pee, weigh 187.2#. Type DREAMS:11/8/12 to 4:45AM. 2° out, still about two inches of snow on the roads, lawns, and atop cars. 5:16AM: Pee, 186.6#, and make notes about 1) sex/semen/rubber-band talk with Avi, 2) SNOW and WIND on WINDOWS yesterday. Think about another "Where Am I Now?" and get up at 6:18AM, not even six hours' sleep, thinking of Spartacus sleeping only a few hours after watching some late-night movie from 2-4AM yesterday, then sleeping until 1:30PM, when he called me, still reluctant to get out of bed to look at the slanting snow at 2PM. Someone above JUST rained down snow-clumps and wet my windows at 6:35AM! Check e-mail to 6:30AM, lots of junk, but also note from FotoBridge about my confusing HOLIDAYS for HOLIDAY5.

WHERE AM I NOW? 11/8/12

6:36AM: Forgot SO MANY details from yesterday: 1) Long talk with Avi about not having sex AT ALL: he sleeps in different room from Robin, who goes to bed later and reads, and gets up later while Avi is up with the birds. They haven't had sex in ages, and Avi can barely get an erection of four inches, where he had a much better cock-size in his younger years, but now at 205 pounds his urethra has shrunk inside his avoirdupois and I'm surprised that he never heard of vasoconstriction to increase penile blood flow, though he's considered the TV ads for the over-the-counter testosterone transdermal goody that nestles in one's armpit---an ad I haven't noticed. AND he says that my discussion of penile manipulation has given HIM a tiny bit of a frisson! We talk for an hour, he ending with the remark that I can call him too, and I make a mental note (how long will THAT last?) to do so around Christmas. 2) Didn't do NEARLY enough of a shout-out about the snowstorm yesterday: how the wind blew so coldly on my bedroom window that snow gathered in frost patterns at the bottom of the window, with constant drips of water and ice from above that built and erased structures about five inches above the bottom margins. How the NOISE of the wind almost echoed the constant din from Sandy last week. How I finally got out the humidifier, filling it with water and adding the requisite salt, and then burnt my forefinger when I checked to see that the plug on the NEAR side of the TV was connecting, which the plug on the FAR side didn't do, and noted how the PERIPHERAL view of the vapor rising from the nozzle was far more distinct than the DIRECT view. 3) Forgot to note my stopping into the office to direct the secretary to record that my next travel program is Thursday, December 6, at 7PM, and that the setup this time should include thirty chairs, and I made ANOTHER mental note to myself to talk to Toba about notifying people: maybe I should have a list of the 40-50 who attended the last program so that I could e-mail ALL of them with a teaser for each subsequent show. 4) Expanded my table-top slide-production operation with yet a FOURTH slide tray, dividing the THIRD's contents into a) personal shots of myself, and other individual items like Midtown Manhattan and "my" shark in the waters off Marathon Island on my stay with---whoever---before my drive to---wherever---in Florida, and b) more "male" shots to be incorporated into my SECOND batch of M 1-20, to be expanded by more males, for FotoBridge. Ready for the LAST box of ten-or-so little trip-discards before searching for the discards from the LAST ten-or-so trips that I haven't cataloged yet, for whatever reason. Determined to go out this morning, as the sidewalks now seem mostly cleared of snow by passersby, to a) go to the gym, b) give blood for my belated coumadin test at HIP, c) check Court Street for FedEx and UPS offices to see how big the any-weight boxes can be for containing, maybe, 50 slide boxes with roughly 2000 slides for my first batch---still in shock from Tuesday's Obama election, the flashdrive recovery, and yesterday's $2000.60 investment in slide digitization---which reminds me that I asked Carlos on 10/16 to buy the blind for my ten-year-task of covering my bedroom window without masking Joe Easter's portrait of me that almost entered the conversation yesterday with Avi about his paintings. Now ENOUGH at 6:55AM!

(continuation of Thursday:) Distribute the pills to 7:15AM, have breakfast with "South Park" and start of "Can I Eat That?" to 8:05AM. Work on SPACIFIC slides to 8:52AM, when I put my coat on and visit the FedEx office on Court Street, finding some of the boxes ARE free, and getting a pen from them, then stop at the UPS office, which I still closed, and over to the Post Office to get prices that are quite reasonable for 3-5 pounds of mailing to New Jersey. That goes to 9:45AM, and I find that the Priority Mail box will take over a HUNDRED boxes of slides, maybe 4000 slides, and then get a Pilgrim's Pride box that contains 36, which seems just about perfect, adding up slides to come to 1284, after phoning to find that they put about 2500 on one DVD, so I take out box 1 and substitute the last of the AFRICA boxes, box 37. Stare at the box to be sent to 10:30AM, almost not believing it's really BEING DONE! Tape the box shut with an explanatory note about the remounting necessary by 10:55AM, and work on slides, finding I'm keeping a LOT of the Antarctic ones, from 10:58-11:30AM, when I have to call Spartacus, waking him, and he's had to stay all night at the airport waiting for a plane and is not willing to go to Columbus's statue, so he slips the admittance slip in the door, which I pick up on the way to find that UPS will charge $15.85 for the almost-seven pounds to New Jersey, FedEx will charge even more, and the Post Office will clearly be the cheapest. Go there to find the postage is $9.50, getting help from a pleasant Oriental woman in wrapping the entire box in Priority Mail, saying that NOTHING can be visible except my return address and FotoBridge's address. Put it into the box and back with a Priority Mail receipt just before noon. Have a bowl of soup for lunch while reading magazines, and leave for Columbus at 12:40PM, getting there at 1:20PM and being admitted. Stay twenty minutes, having elevated up and down, taking pictures of the tower with the absent broken boom, and riding back home to pack up for the gym, doing cardio with ease, and back at 3:45PM to look at the AARP publication, and then leave at 4:15PM for Sharon, counting that I've been out FIVE times today! And then I see the free performance of Agatha Christie's "Verdict" tonight at 7:30PM on Willow Place, and decide to make it SIX! Back at 5:20PM, put the tuna casserole on at 5:45PM, type to 6PM when Spartacus phones, decides not to go to the play tonight because he'd "be too rushed," and I finish this to 6:15PM, ready to type the session. Finish the session by 6:25PM, ready to eat the BURNT part of my tuna casserole early, so I can leave easily this evening for Willow Place at 7PM---Spartacus thought not too many elderly would attend because of the cold and the remaining snow. My feet got wet, but I insisted on wearing my torn shoes. Ate the still-underdone top at 6:30, watching more of "Can I Eat That?" and spooned more onto my plate at 6:45, but still eating a small portion, thinking that THIS will help lower my weight. Leave for the play at 7:05PM, getting there at 7:20PM to find the upper floor used by small groups not connected with the play downstairs. Walk down to find about a dozen people waiting for the play, absolutely no one asking about donations or money in any form. About twenty one of us watch a decent version of "Verdict," with as many twists as could possibly wrung from the "we know who did it" plot. It's over at the dot of 10PM, I'm sore-backed walking home, and head straight to bed at 10:37PM, weighing 187.2#.

SHARON B. 234 11/8/12

Have to go up a back stairway because the usual entrance to the elevators is blocked off. Can't tell what they're doing to the main room. Sit for a few minutes until she calls me in at 4:30PM, and we both remark that it's been a long time. I go through EVERYTHING that's happened in the past three weeks: starting the 101 Clark Street travel program with fifty well-traveled people, getting postponed to tomorrow for KENPAC, and Sharon says she might be able to make it---as Leon indicated when I passed him in the street and he thought I'd given the show yesterday. Talked about Marj's hanging up, and Sharon terms it "magical thinking" that I'd know to compliment her on her courage in putting up with the trials of no lights and water for five days. But I kept saying how much she DID talk to me about other things amicably. Talked about how Charles is getting weaker, Bill enjoys being pampered in the nursing home, and how I kept getting calls from Paris and Milan checking on my safety and power during the storms, Paul even mentioning the snow yesterday, which she agreed was quite beautiful. I bragged about the slides being digitized, and how I trusted the Post Office to handle the packages. Told her about the flashdrive finally showing up, about Susie losing power only hours after she got it back while talking to me on the phone Wednesday evening. I mentioned my increasing OCD behavior with so many people calling and talking on the phone, and so much activity, including the five times out today. She said she was pleased that I had a lot to do and had no problems during the intervening weeks---I even mentioned Carolyn's judgement that Henry's End was trying to rip THEM off, but I said I was just as happy to be out of that argument, and I'd certainly use MY discount card when MY birthday came up! Talked of Ken's judging my self-absorption as being worse in the past but improving recently. Also mentioned starting Carlos on ordering and installing my bedroom shade, something that had been on my mind for almost ten years now, but he was delayed because of the storms. Said that Tris wouldn't be sending a bill soon since he was still out of his apartment in southern New Jersey, and that Marj would cash her two large checks from me, and that I had until 11/15 to test my blood for my coumadin level---what a lot of STUFF!!! She concluded by saying she hoped she'd be there tomorrow, and we'd meet again next week.

FRIDAY, 11/9/12: 2:20AM: Pee, 186.0#. 7:19AM: Surprised by the lateness after 8:42 in bed, and try to shit but only pee-read to 7:52AM, down to 184#! Manage a T-shirted FUAS 7:54-8:16AM, weighing a new low of 183.4# before dressing and combing my hair and straightening out my bed, taking out my fresh earplugs from last night, and add many items to Sharon's session from last night that obsessed me this morning. Print out that page and finish today's journal to 8:37AM, both pleased and a little annoyed with my increasingly obsessive note-taking over my daily tasks---but without travel to break up my major doings, I have nothing BUT my daily tasks! Still have to 1) leave blood at HIP, 2) figure out the when and what to present at my next 55 Pierrepont show, and 3) where and how many are the discards from my dozen trips taken and slides put away aside from the sheet that's guided me so far. Pleased by the thought that postponing breakfast will allay my hunger until after the show ends about 2:30PM at Pierrepont, and anxious to get feeling even MORE caught up than I do right now at 8:39AM! Set up an optimistic FRI-DO at the bottom of my daily note. Now to check e-mail. Get SIXTEEN messages, including url list from Tris, and I can't do ANYTHING with his BILL. Start a shelf for FotoBridge to 9:13AM. Set up Pierrepont shows to 9:30AM. Finish AARP Bulletin by 9:41AM. More discards to 10:15AM. Shit-read AWFUL New Yorker "voter fraud" article to 10:25AM. Breakfast with "Can I Eat That?" and "Animal Relations" to Spartacus phoning and talking 11-11:50AM. Find KENPAC information to 12:10PM. Leave for 55 Pierrepont at 12:20AM, setting up dates with schedule, making up room for showing, and chatting with early arrivals. Goes well with about twenty people, including Steve and Sharon who arrives later. Steve wants lunch, so we go to Fortune House for good soup, my shrimp and cashews and his great General Tso Chicken, all for $8; their credit-card machine not working. Back at 3:30PM, play Spider 3:35-4:25PM to 51.74692 at 1010 up after 3 wins, and follow with Taipei to 5:30PM, totally dark. Pay PayPal $12 to 5:45PM, seemingly very elaborate and cross-checking. Continue with slides 6:05-8:20PM, TIRED. TV with an orange and I can miss dinner, getting to bed at 11:42PM, weighing 185.6#.

SATURDAY, 11/10/12: 5:33AM: Pee, down to 184.4#. Type DREAMS:11/10/12 5:42-5:44AM. 6:16AM: Think I hear knock on door; lock it. Type another dream 6:21-6:22AM. 6:47AM: Can't sleep, do FUAS 6:48-7:09AM, up at 7:16AM. Pee, still 184.4#. Get Times and read it 7:25-8:30AM. Diagramless stops me, and finish crossword at 9:30AM. Pee, STILL 184.4#. Breakfast 9:45-10:30AM, then to slides to finish Antarctica by 12:30PM. Finally FIND Box H of discarded slides, and depressed by how MANY I still have to do! Finish diagramless by 1:30PM, getting words STRICTLY by positions, particularly "You are here" being EARTH! Lie down 1:30-2:30PM, simply tired! Back to slides 2:55-4:15, EXHAUSTING, listening to WQXR. Lunch of tuna and back to slides 5:15 to 8PM, in desperation making a new sheet summarizing what I'd done so far: THREW OUT 4228, BOXED 2764, for a total of 7092 handled ALREADY. Noted first batch sent out on Thursday, 11/8, with boxes 2-37, 1284 slides, and no notice from FotoBridge that they got them today. Finished box M-21 and started box M-22 with one from Mauritius/Reunion and one from Prague. Rather than go to bed, I do Taipei 10:10-10:40PM and continue with Solitaire 10:40-11:15PM. Weigh 185.6# after popcorn when I get to bed at 11:36PM.

SUNDAY, 11/11/12: 7:15AM: Pee, get Times, still 185.6#. FU 7:20-7:40, up at 7:45AM. Reduce Xmas card list to 7:55AM, put slide boxes behind sofa to 8:06AM, read Times to 9:10, down to 184.6#. Do slides 9:20-10:15, starting a new column for Galapagos, breakfast and Turing movie "Breaking Codes, Broken Genius" to noon, when I call Spartacus who hangs up on me after I threaten to hang up on HIM when he insists on beating some conversational dead horse. Start washing windows when at 12:30PM-12:40PM I phone Marjorie Grimm, who appreciates my call, saying 10/30 was only SLIDES, not dinner, and that the next week's show, delayed to Thursday because of election on Tuesday, had 25 people! Finish windows, including bedroom, at 1:30PM. Spider 1:30-3PM, still at 1010 up at 51.74643 after 2 wins, then Taipei 3-4PM, winning half. Working on CAVES, disturbed to find discarded Antarctica and others MIXED IN, but throwing them out anyway, when Rita calls, saying Denny had a hemorrhage last Sunday and has been in the hospital since: Paul and Megan visiting, Bridge members giving her food, sleep rare, doctors amazed that Denny's still alive, and I say I'll do anything she wants, but decide I DON'T want to go to the funeral. Then Piri calls, saying she got Facebook notes from Arakaki and Lorene, and I clarify what Denny's condition is---and get calls from Ken and Spartacus! Ken wants to talk about his psychoanalyst FIRING HIM when he doesn't know about his medications, and I call him later because I want to talk to Spartacus, who only wants to talk about recording programs this evening. Finish all three calls by 7:10PM, and catch up with this by 7:40PM, having AGAIN checked no e-mail from FotoBridge, and checked Facebook to leave the same message ONLINE for Rita. Work on slides, finishing with Tibet, from 7:45-9:25PM. Watch "Bedlam" on TV with dinner, and another program, to 10:55PM. Weigh 188.0# when I get to bed at 11:06PM.

MONDAY, 11/12/12: 12:19AM: Lock door, pee, still 188.0#. 7:13AM: Pee, 186.8#. Type DREAMS:11/12/12 7:15-7:31AM. FUAS 7:32-7:52AM, lie to 7:56AM. Shit-read to 8:11AM, still 186.8#. E-mail at 8:15AM, "no new messages," forgetting that it's Veteran's Day and FotoBridge may not be open. Read New Yorker to 8:35AM, process slides to 10:15AM. Breakfast with "Firefly 10th Anniversary" to 11:10AM. Out to find that the HIP lab is CLOSED on Veteran's Day! Buy groceries to 12:01PM. Work on slides 12:15-1:45PM, go to gym for agonies, and watch "BAFTA LA" with lunch to 5:40PM. Slides to 8:10PM, exhausted, but find I did over 700 slides. Lentil soup dinner with "Dexter" to 9:20PM, watch "666 Park Avenue" to 10:08PM, and weigh 187.4# when I get to bed at 10:17PM.

TUESDAY, 11/13/12: 3:06AM: Pee, still 187.4#. Three-intensity mympths for one second. Right-side headache: tumor? 7:03AM: Shit-read to 7:26AM. Arthritis in both hands. FUAS 7:27-7:49AM, lie to 7:57AM. FotoBridge GOT package on Saturday! Tris mails NEW bill, apologizing he didn't send a PDF, I pay him to 8:32AM. To slides 8:35-10AM. Breakfast with "Boardwalk Empire" to 11AM, and return to slides to 2PM, going out to wait a few minutes before giving blood for coumadin test, and return to work on slides after lunch watching "Park Avenue: Rich and Poor" 3-4:20PM, going to 5:10 when I'm down for mail, get lots of stuff, including a long wait to renew HSBC debit card and check Visa and put check into envelope, down to $1082 balance! Finish this to date by 6:15PM, deciding to relax with games, changing a bit by MINIMIZING this WHILE I play, so I can come BACK to it! Do so, playing Spider 6:15-8:10PM but only getting to 51.74213 at 1008 up after 2 wins. UGH! Now to dinner with TV. But first phone Ken, finding that he scheduled his analyst for 3PM tomorrow, having had to go through three referrals to find someone who wasn't going to be out of town for the next few weeks. Talk to him 8:10-8:20PM, then amazed that CHARLES answers the phone, Bill due out of the nursing home 11/21, but Charles FELL on the street last night going to Bill's, though he says he's getting stronger on his weak left side. WE talk 8:20-9:15PM, and I have a HH dinner while watching "Upstairs, Downstairs," at the beginning of WWII, and then see part of "American Musical, 1990-2004" while brushing my teeth again, preparing for Heather on Thursday. Weigh 187.2# before bed at 11:06PM.

WEDNESDAY, 11/14/12: 5:10AM: Pee, 186.2#; type DREAMS:11/14/12 to 5:16AM. 6:35AM: Pee, 185.4#, FU 6:40-7AM, lie to 7:07AM. Pee, still 185.4#. Update weights for the past week and catch up with this to 7:23AM, ready to store both empty slide boxes and next fifty or so full boxes for the second batch to FotoBridge, still no response as to their progress. Almost a month since I started Carlos on my bedroom-window-blind project, and no word from him. Took down the LAST two Healthy Heart boxes when getting the mail last night, with an annoying telephone hold to renew my HSBC debit card, and hanging up on a tedious HIP evaluation that just went on too long. Realizing that I AM a pain in the ass most of the time: that's my mother all over again! More grist for Sharon's mill. Put slide boxes away to 7:40AM. HH breakfast with New Yorker reading to 8:50AM. FIND missing 55 Pierrepont note---was in KITCHEN? To slides 9:15-1PM, then go to the gym for cardio---and note that I typed "the" for "for" in the previous words---something that I'm doing more and more often. Have lunch of another chicken burger with "Global Weirding" 3-4PM, and back to slides to 6PM, going to Spider 6-8PM to 51.7395 to 1007 up after 3 wins, double UGH! Watch "American Musicals 1990-2004" with an awful HH salmon with disgusting broccoli, then "Tower Heist" to 10:55PM. 184.6# at 11:05PM bed.

WHERE AM I NOW? 11/15/12

8:13AM: Lots of thoughts: 1) Marj can finish ITAPUGLI, then go to PLAYS, then make ALL files like PLAYS, MOVIES, ACTUALISM, INTERLARDINGS, THOUGHTS amenable by having DATES in mm/dd/yy form for later substitution for DIARY references in JOURNALS, and THEN go to making CAPTIONS for SLIDES---all mediated by enormous-storage flashdrives. 2) I can send an e-mail to Toba, outlining the information for the Antarctica program on 12/6, asking whether he'd be willing to do another dynamite poster, and even to distribute more flyers under doors. 3) My digitizing has grown so enormous, but how can DVDs have different FILES so that trips can be separated easily for Olympus-program processing? Must check with FotoBridge---and I wonder when I'll get my first file back? 4) Then think that Carlos has to be contacted: it's been a month, where's my blind? 5) Then make sure my "remembered" dates match dates on the found 55 Pierrepont card---and WHERE was it HIDING?? 6) Want to catch up on NO now---ON NO NOW!

THURSDAY, 11/15/12: 5:47AM: Pee, 183.6#. Type DREAMS:11/15/12 5:50-5:553AM. 6:39AM: Pee, weigh LOWEST of 182.4#! Note that Marj's NEXT (after PLAYS) task COULD be SLIDE captions! FUAS 7-7:21AM, THINKING. Lie to 7:42AM, still 182.4#. Shave and clip hairs to 8:08AM, no new e-mail, and catch up with NO by 8:28AM and print page! Slides 8:35-9AM; breakfast with New Yorker to 9:40AM. Watch part of "Jerome Robbins" to 10:42AM, then dress "pretty" and get out to Heather Goldberger 10:59AM, she sees me, notices I've lost weight, and we TALK: my brother-in-law's tumor and hemorrhage and probable death, my stroke and coumadin, my not talking to Mildred any more; Zack's TALKATIVENESS in school at age 6, not willing to read but as "mayor of his class he has to talk with everyone." I mention my two monthly slide programs, but absolve her because she lives far away---she also sheltered a family for fifteen days: they just moved back to their very wet home in Sea Breeze. She finds a cavity, works on me to 11:44AM, says I should rinse after EVERY MEAL to make sure something like "a raisin" isn't stuck between bridge and tooth to cause a cavity like the one I have. I get back to ask Julio about my bedroom blind, but he says Carlos probably forgot: ask Ron to contact him to remind him. I tell Ron, who says he'll ask Carlos to contact me when he gets back from lunch about 1:30PM. Back upstairs at 12:01PM to get out of dressy clothes, put up note to see Sharon at 4:30PM, and record my next appointment on Wednesday with Goldberger. Catch this up-to-date by 12:16PM, ready to return to slides to 2PM. Chicken burger lunch with the rest of "Jerome Robbins" and part of "Mars Rover" to 4:15PM, then get out to Sharon. Pitch black on way back, play unrecorded Taipei and Solitaire, work on slides 7-8:25PM, when I finish Morocco in box 116. Watch more of "Men Who Made America," setting up to record last episode early tomorrow morning, and weigh 182.4# going to bed at 11:53PM.

SHARON B. 235 11/15/12

Written at 9:48AM Monday, so much is forgotten. Mainly discussed the idea that I might ACTUALLY be difficult: dropped old friends, dropped Mildred, Fred won't travel with me (though Sharon and I talked about Fred being ASKED why), Ken a little reluctantly agreed that I've improved in recent years, and Spartacus regularly argues with me about what I say to him. She concludes that it's really VERY ordinary that we've inherited traits we might not like from our parents, since this trait strongly reminds me of my mother---as Dennis would say when HE would get mad at me. Sharon and I agreed that I didn't get angry with her because she wouldn't contradict me---and she had no need to get angry with me because I was never as difficult with her as I could be with people who annoyed me: she simply doesn't do ANYTHING that annoys me, which sometimes leads me to question whether she's adequately critical of me, but she insists that if she thought I was being obnoxious with anyone, she'd be quick to tell me. I crowed about the progress I was making with the labeling of slides to be digitized, though I said that the tedium of the process led me to some of the negative thoughts about people---and the fact that my phone now so SELDOM rings with ANYONE's suggestion that we "do things." I feel increasingly alone, and not really with the energy to do things that I "should" do, like responding to Marj's proofing notes. It was only the following day after this session that I phoned FotoBridge to hear that ten business days was their usual (longer than I had fantasized) response-time. Again had no trouble filling the session with my talk, though I was unusually hoarse, which she was quick to possibly explain by the dust in the air from the construction that has been going on so long. Though she praised her new window view and that the scaffolding had been removed from her windows. Again she made it clear that, whatever it was I kept saying to her, my continued work with her was completely acceptable.

FRIDAY, 11/16/12: 5:20AM: Pee, still 182.4#. 8:31AM: Shit-read to 8:48AM, down to lowest of 181.6#! Type DREAMS:11/16/12 to 8:54AM, FUAS 8:55-9:17AM, and up at 9:19AM. E-mail check to 9:25AM, do slides 9:26-10:25AM, breakfast to 11:45AM with last of "Men Who Made America" and set up more recordings for weekend, then clean up stuff in apartment and phone FotoBridge: they typically take TEN WORKING DAYS for 1000 slides! Pity I'd set it up in my mind as being FAST! Makes my "rush" to get slides done relatively senseless, except that I HAVE gotten a lot done in less than a month. Work on finishing next-to-last box of "discards" 11:58AM-12:51PM and finish with this to 1:08PM, ready for my e-mail about Antarctica show to Toba. Do that to about 2PM, then go to the gym, finding new ease with some, particularly the knee bend, and back about 4PM to have lunch of the last chicken burger, with the last of "Mars Rover" to 4:50PM, and then go back to slides 4:50-6:20PM, finishing to the big Japan, and then play Spider 6:35-7:10PM, getting to 51.74105 at 1008 up after 2 wins, and continue with Taipei 7:10-8:10PM, winning actually most of them. Decide to catch up with this, just to DO it, to 8:15PM, checking that I've not gotten a reply yet from Toba. Now ready for dinner and TV, hoping to watch through to Bill Maher at 10PM. I guess it's easiest to just say I do that, and get to bed at 11:06PM, weighing 184.0#.

SATURDAY, 11/17/12: 7:20AM: Having slept 8:14, I type DREAMS:11/17/12 to 7:32AM. Shit-read to 8:04AM, weighing NEW MINIMUM of 181.6#. Times comes. Read Times and do puzzles to 10:05AM, have breakfast reading New Yorker, talk to Spartacus 10:32-10:59AM, then to Marj 11AM-12:23PM, going into the FAR future with her work: first the PLAYS, with which she is greatly enthusiastic, then she very much accepts the tedium of getting many files to simply REGULARIZE DATES so they can be sent as drafts to the website to, essentially, COMPLETE it, and THEN undertake the ENORMOUS task, possibly with a copy of the Olympus-camera program, of CAPTIONING slides. She repeats her past statement that, even WITH social security income after December of next year, she will STILL need a few hundred dollars a month (for which I should not feel obliged, she insists, since she can always supplement with food stamps), so she would STILL appreciate my contributions to her welfare. Complete crossword puzzle at 1:55PM, work on slides 1:56-3:22PM, listening to the long final act of Wagner's "Flying Dutchman," which I couldn't identify as the OPERA but I could certainly identify as WAGNER, to 3:30PM. Lunch 3:30-4PM, finish the second puzzle 4-4:56PM, and do slides 4:57-5:40PM, just TIRED, with 24 boxes left: if I do eleven boxes today, I only have two days of twelve boxes each left! But then I can tackle the enormous set of "other slides" in the metal boxes and other files of "local" trips. Sit, stunned and brooding, to 5:50PM. Then decide to watch TV. Look at three "MI-5" episodes, watch a rather simple "Story of Mankind," very Western-civilization oriented, for an abbreviated (for ads) two hours, and watch start of truly horrible "John Carter" (that cost $250 million but made "only" $179 million) to 11:55PM, and weigh 184.0# when I get to bed at 11:29PM.

SUNDAY, 11/18/12: 6:42AM: Type DREAMS:11/18/12 to 7:01AM. Pee-read incomprehensible Times articles to 7:33AM, still weighing 184.9#. FUAS 8:55-9:15AM, lie to 10:05AM, then pee, equally incomprehensibly still 184.0#. E-mail to 10:15AM, breakfast and more of "John Carter" to 11AM, phone Rita 11-11:15AM, VERY down with Denny due home Wednesday, still VERY up-and-down in capability and emotion. Talk to Spartacus 11:15-11:30AM and Marj 11:30-11:53AM and leave for MAN. Vlada is not very big, but 63 of us fill it with mediocrity and non-communication, with an enormous serving of turkey white meat that I return half of to the serving tray. Filled up with melon, cantaloupe, grapes, and pineapple to start with, and had two glasses of red wine. Left at 3PM when I found they weren't serving their incredible brownies for dessert---and Steve said that the served dessert was drippy and not very good. Back at 3:45PM and e-mail two choices for Wednesdays for Steve and Susie to 4:05PM. Do slides 4:05-5:15PM, but I've lost steam due to late-arriving results. Finish Times to 5:55PM, finish "John Carter" to 6:55PM, Nova's good "Hurricane Sandy" episode to 7:54PM, and two episodes of "MI-5" really excellent, starting season nine. Finish with "Boardwalk Empire" to 11PM; weigh sad 187.8# before 11:42PM bed.

MONDAY, 11/19/12: Wake at 4:44AM, type DREAMS:11/19/12 4:49-5:03AM. Pee and still 186.8#. 8:42AM: Shit-read to 9:16AM, down to 185.4#. Catch up with Sharon's session from last Thursday to 10:15AM, when Spartacus calls to 10:30AM to say he's going to the 11AM long-term health-care presentation, so I stop journal typing and have breakfast with New York magazine before going down at 11AM to wait until 11:15AM for program to start, and THEN it should have been described as ONLY for MEDICAID people, of which there were none in the audience when she finally thought to ask for raised hands. I sit around to wait for their free pen until 12:12AM, back to talk to Spartacus, who might take my second Magic Bullet. Finish journal to date to 12:54PM, ready for games before slides. Spider is triple UG 12:55-2:15PM to 51.73699 at 1006 up after 2 wins. Spartacus comes down from Bob's to take Magic Bullet; I forget to show him baggie of "disintegrating black T-shirt;" he turns on torchere light from the REAL switch and it turns out it had been on DIM for the past number of months, and now it's on BRIGHT, making a whole new clarity for these dark mid-winter evenings. I even make sure to thank him a SECOND time for doing that for me! Sharon calls to assure me she did NOT mean that she'd be seeing me on Thanksgiving Thursday; will see me the following week. Finish lunch with "Dexter" to 4:10PM, go to slides to FINISH the discards through trip 95 to 7:30PM---a real accomplishment with, like, 147 boxes packed up, which means 110 ready to be sent for second batch! Finish dinner with last of the beef burgers at 8:30PM, watching "Dust Bowl #1" and two (already seen?) "South Park" rebroadcasts from 2008 and part of "Dust Bowl #2" to 11PM. Lock door just because Spartacus might be sick enough to try to enter my UNLOCKED door to shock me into locking it always. Weigh a very disappointing 188.2# when I get to bed at 11:20PM, brushing and "edging" teeth in preparation for Wednesday's filling.

TUESDAY, 11/20/12: 7:14AM: Pee, 187.4#. Type DREAMS:11/20/12 to 7:22AM. FUAS 7:23-7:43AM and up at 7:47AM to shit-read to 8:08AM, 186.0#. Call HIP to 8:15AM about Chin's coming in and calling back at 11:30AM about my coumadin prescription. Check mostly nonsense e-mail, send message back to Susie and Steve about 12/12/12, and catch up with this to 8:35AM, ready for another "Where Am I Now?" Get out a TERRIFYING number of extra slides, and finish this, again, to 9:13AM, ready for breakfast with New York magazine to 10AM. Slides to 12:15PM, going to metal box #1. Print three pages of contents to 12:30PM. Chin calls at 10:45AM: get blood test on Monday to check coumadin. Must print out this page, regardless of format problems, just to get the third page of contents out of the printer.

WHERE AM I NOW? 11/20/12

8:35AM: FUAS has become partly a method of thinking about what still has to be done. 1) Put out Carlos cards; he really should be getting to it! 2) Phoned Iris for an assessment, and she said someone would call in a week; let's see what it would MEAN to include Medicaid with Medicare. 3) Got the message to Chin for coumadin prescription. 4) Think to make an overall "NEWFILES" section in website to LUMP all the new files, rather than trying to distribute them into---well, then I looked at website and had ALREADY listed the blank Cultural, Spiritual, Subjective, Philosophy, Nonfiction,