HYPERHUNK PLAY
(a one-act by Bob Zolnerzak)
[Each underlined element indicates a new hypertext page.]
Setting: Dressing room of a gym. HYPERTEXT HUNK (H) is as handsome as possible. He’s approached by ME (M), a man in his late 40s, and their conversation follows the form below.
1. M: Are you an actor?
H: □ Yes. Go to 2. □ No. Go to 15.
2. M: Oh, good! I’m writing a play for a group called Village Playwrights. We meet at the Gay Center every Tuesday from 6 to 8. Would you be willing to come in for a reading?
H: □ Tell me more about it. Go to 3. □ I’m not gay. Go to 13.
□ Not on your life. Go to 14.
3. Tell me more about it.
M: Many of the plays we read are just first drafts. Members of Village Playwrights bring them in and let other members read the parts. Then the play is critiqued---usually very well, I might add
---and the playwright can then revise the play according to the comments about the first drafts. Sometimes, when the plays are more polished, the playwright will bring in his own actors; that gives everyone a better idea how the play sounds with actual characters.
H: The actors have to memorize their parts?
M: No, it’s still just a reading. Sometimes, though, the playwright will get the actors together for a couple of hours for a couple of readings, so that each actor can get a good idea of [his/his or her/their] character and the playwright can make suggestions to bring out aspects of the character that might not be obvious in the writing.
H: □ I’ll do it. Go to 4. □ I don’t know. Go to 6.
4. M: Great! [Go to 5.]
5. Good end.
M: Give me your phone number; I’ll call you so we can plan a time to rehearse.
H: It’s (555) 555-5555. I look forward to hearing from you.
M. I’m sure it’ll be a pleasure to work with you.
H: Be sure to call.
M: I will. Seeya.
BLACKOUT
6. I don’t know.
M: What more can I tell you?
H: Maybe they’ll: □ Laugh at me. Go to 7. □ Put the make on me.
Go to 8. □ Think I’m gay. Go to 12.
7. Laugh at me.
M: I assure you we’re a very serious group. We’ve read some pretty awful plays---some of which I’ve written! And I’ll admit we’ve had some bad actors at times, but any criticism is always put in a very positive way. I assure you, if they don’t like you it’ll be because my play is awful, not because you’re not able to give me the reading I want.
H: How can I be sure of that?
M: Hey, you’re a very good-looking guy or I wouldn’t have thought of this in the first place. It’s a simple fact that we like looking at handsome men, no matter what they’re doing. If you’re nervous in the reading, that’ll actually fit into the part. Frankly, if you DON’T sound like an actor, you’ll be even MORE convincing in the role. You really can’t lose.
H: □ I’ll do it. Go to 5. □ I just can’t do it. Go to l8.
8. Put the make on me.
M: But that would be a compliment! Your character is SUPPOSED to appear open and vulnerable. If that comes across in your acting, you’ve done a great job with the part.
H: □ I’ll do it. Go to 5. □ I just can’t do it. Go to 18.
□ I’ll have to think about it. Go to 9.
9. I’ll have to think about it.
M: Is there anything more you’d like to know about Village Playwrights?
H: No, that’s not the problem. I’m just not sure if I want to do it.
M: What could happen?
H: Well, I might: □ Like it. Go to 10. □ Regret it. Go to 11.
10. Like it.
M: (Laughing) What would be wrong with that?
H: I might think I could quit my job and become an actor.
M: Would that be so tragic?
H: Well... [And he gets into personal revelations that I just can’t predict at this moment---eventually, through more conversation, leading either to 5 or to 18.] [To be continued.]
11. Regret it.
M: Why would you regret it?
H: I might be typed into gay roles.
M: I wish I could tell you that’s a problem. Unfortunately, Village Playwrights is actually so small, and has such a small audience, that 99.9 percent of the people who might have anything to do with your career won’t even SEE you doing it.
H: I really don’t have that much spare time.
M: My play’s only about an hour long. Even if we went through it twice, it might take only three hours. Then an hour to present it. That’s four hours in all. Just a TV special you might watch in your spare time. It’s really not that much time.
H: □ I’ll do it. Go to 5. □ I just can’t do it. Go to 18.
12. Think I’m gay.
M: Well, there are actually two ways of looking at that. If you’re NOT gay, and they THINK you are---that just means you’re being a great actor! If you ARE gay, it means you’re SUCH a good actor that your personality comes through in the role---so it’s a perfect role for you! You really can’t lose.
H: □ I’ll do it. Go to 5. □ I just can’t do it. Go to 18.
13. I’m not gay.
M: That doesn’t matter. Though most of the playwrights are gay, many of the actors we use aren’t gay.
H: □ Tell me more about it. Go to 3. □ Not on your life. Go to
18.
14. Not on your life.
M: You mean you’re too professional to do anything for an amateur group?
H: □ I’m not gay. Go to 13. □ Absolutely right. Go to 18.
15. No.
M: Have you ever considered the possibilty of acting?
H: □ Actually, I have. Go to 3. □ Never. Go to 16.
16. Never.
M: That’s too bad. Do you have anything against acting in itself?
H: □ Not really. Go to 17. □ Yeah, it’s only for fuckin’ faggots.
Go to 18.
17. Not really.
M: Well, let me tell you more about it; then you can decide.
[Go to 3.]
18. Bad end.
M: Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you. Excuse me for bothering you.
H: Don’t try anything like it again.
M: I won’t. I apologize again.
BLACKOUT
H: I'll do it or I don't know.
I'll do it
M: Great!
[Go to Good end.]
Good end
M: Give me your phone number; I'll call you so we can plan a time to rehearse.
H: It's (718) 522-0591. I look forward to hearing from you.
M: I'm sure it'll be a pleasure to work with you.
H: Be sure to call.
M: I will. See ya. CURTAIN
I don't know
M: What more can I tell you?
H: Maybe they'll Laugh at me or Put the make on me or Think I'm gay.
Laugh at me
M: I assure you we're a very serious group. We've read some pretty awful plays---some of which I've written! And I'll admit we've had some bad actors at times, but any criticism is always put in a very positive way. I assure you, if they don't like you it'll be because my play is awful, not because you're not able to give me the reading I want.
H: How can I be sure of that?
M: Look, you're a very good-looking guy or I wouldn't have thought of this in the first place. It's a simple fact that we like looking at handsome men, no matter what they're doing. If you're nervous in the reading, that would actually fit into the part. Frankly, if you DON'T sound like an actor, you'll be even MORE convincing in the role. You really can't lose.
H: I'll do it. [Go to Good end.] OR I just can't do it. [Go to Bad end.]
Think I'm gay
M: Well, there are actually two ways of looking at that. If you're NOT gay, and they THINK you are---that just means you're being a great actor! If you ARE gay, it means that you're SUCH a good actor that your personality comes through in the role---so it's a perfect role for you! You really can't lose.
H: I'll do it. [Go to Good end.] OR I just can't do it. [Go to Bad end.]
Put the make on me
M: But that would be a compliment! Your character is SUPPOSED to appear open and vulnerable. If that comes across in your acting, you've done a great job with the part!
H: I'll do it. [Go to Good end.] OR I just can't do it. [Go to Bad end.]
OR I'll have to think about it.
M: Is there anything more you'd like to know about Village Playwrights?
H: No, that's not the problem. I'm just not sure if I want to do it.
M: What could happen?
H: Well, I might Like it or I might Regret it.
Regret it
M: Why could you regret it?
H: I might be typed into gay roles.
M: I wish I could tell you that's a problem. Unfortunately, Village Playwrights is actually so small, and has such a small audience, that 99.9% of the people who might have anything to do with your career won't even SEE you doing it.
H: I really don't have that much spare time.
M: My play's only about an hour long. Even if we went through it twice, it might take only three hours. Then an hour to present it. That's four hours in all. Just a TV special you might watch in your spare time. It's really not that much time.
H: I'll do it. [Go to Good end.] OR I just can't do it. [Go to Bad end.]
Like it
M: (Laughing) What would be wrong with that?
H: I might think I could quit my job and become an actor.
M: Would that be so tragic?
H: Well, [and he gets into personal revelations that I just can't predict at this point, eventually, through more conversation, leading either to Good end or to Bad end.] To be continued