If You'd Like to Make a Call
SETTING: An everyday living room; a telephone off the hook is resting on a coffee table covered with papers. The sound of a toilet flushing offstage.
TELEPHONE: If you'd like to make a call....
GUY (entering from stage right): Yes, I'll make a call right now. I just put you off the hook because I had to take a leak, OK? Can't a guy have ANY privacy? (He puts the phone back on the hook, then dials. He waits a few moments.) Uh, yeah, I'd like to phone about getting a friend of mine a Buddy? (Pause) Uh, I don't know if he's a client or not---he went there a couple of times about, oh, nine or ten years ago, but I don't think he's been back. (Pause) I'm not sure; I sort of remember something about a will---maybe some other legal services. (Pause) Well, he's not doing very well---he seems to be getting sicker: neuropathy in the legs, no energy, dizziness---but maybe that's due to his taking Crixivan. (Pause) No, I just made that word up---yes, he IS taking Crixivan. Well, of COURSE he has AIDS, or I wouldn't be calling about a Buddy, would I? (Pause) Why would anyone want to do that? (Pause) Anyway, YES he has AIDS.... (Pause) Yes, he lives in Brooklyn. (Pause) He's my ex. We live in the same building. (Pause) Not in the same APARTMENT, but in the same BUILDING. (Pause) A what? Let me write that down. (He does so.) An M eleven Q. (Pause) An M eleven DASH Q, I'm SORRY! (Pause) From ten o'clock Monday until when? (Pause) What? (Pause) What is this, Let's Make A Deal, only the first twenty-five callers will be recognized? (Long pause, gradual unhappiness in his face) Four to six WEEKS?! (Pause) Wait, let me write that down. (He does so.) Brooklyn AIDS Task Force.