traffic Director
(a ten-minute one-act by Bob Zolnerzak)
OLDER MAN, supposedly "hunk" from 40-year-old Bruce Weber super-poster.
YOUNGER MAN, supposedly "current handsomest man in the world."
SETTING: Two men reading scripts while sitting in two chairs on a stage.
OLDER MAN
(He points to Bruce Weber poster of shirtless hunk with tire)
Yes, that was me, forty years ago.
YOUNGER MAN
You were incredibly beautiful.
OLDER MAN
(Looking longingly at YOUNGER MAN)
As you are now.
YOUNGER MAN: And that's all he wrote.
ABSOLUTE TRUTH II, started 8:30AM 1/31/96: Looking over the material above, being amused last night that ERIC seems to have brought in a play that may be two facets of himself debating himself WITH himself and MARIO brought in a play that uses the phrase "absolute truth" (or a phrase close enough to it that I thought of it as dealing with the same "absolutes"), and BILL brought in a play in which he and Marc read a "couple 15 years after" while Andy and Eric read "the same couple 15 years before," ALL THESE IDEAS SEEM VERY CURRENT. So I thought about it this morning and mulled through some MORE ideas---to continue the numerative list started above---6) a play dealing with the LEVELS in a person, with a mirror-system so that the INMOST would be at the BOTTOM, on the STAGE, while the NEXT-inmost (like the emotions) be NEXT to the bottom, with mirrors ABOVE the actor on the stage, with the NEXT-inmost (like the thoughts) be ONE ABOVE, the NEXT-inmost (like the private facade) be above THAT, and the OUTER (like the public facade) be on TOP. And then 7) "The Traffic-Director," where the CENTRAL character is the traffic-director between "The Actor on the Right" who dons various masks labeled INMOST-FEARS, WOULD-THAT-IT-BE-SO, etc, and "The Actor on the Left" who dons various masks labeled WHAT-MARJ-WANTS-IN-A--PLAY, WHAT-DANNY-LIKES-IN-PLAYS, WHAT-BILL-DEMANDS-IN-PLAYS, etc. Sounds GOOD!
GO for it!!
THE TRAFFIC DIRECTOR: A ten-minute one-act by Bob Zolnerzak.
Cast of Characters
The Traffic Director: Earnest man of middle age.
Outer: Attractive woman of middle age.
Inner: Sexy younger man.
Scene
Village Playwrights meeting in a room at the New York Gay and Lesbian Center. Members sit in folding chairs in a semicircle open to the audience. The number of members varies from presentation to presentation.
Time
The present.
TRAFFIC DIRECTOR (TD) (to audience)
This play is entitled "The Traffic Director." I am the traffic director.
OUTER (to audience)
I'm a character in the play entitled "The Traffic Director." The name of my character is "Outer." Please note that I am sitting to the traffic director's right, which puts me, from your point of view, to your left.
INNER (to audience)
I'm also a character in the play entitled "The Traffic Director." The name of my character is "Inner." You can see I'm sitting to the traffic director's left, which puts me on the right side of the stage.
TD (to audience)
So all directions depend, absolutely, on where you happen to be sitting.
OUTER (to audience)
To my right is a table of masks. Rather than trying to portray realistic outer characters, my masks simply have labels: Mother, Lover, Teacher, Critic, etc.
INNER (to audience)
To my left is a table of masks. These masks have labels like Fears, Desires, Hopes, Demands, etc.
TD (to audience)
I try, more or less successfully, to keep these two from stepping on each other's lines. As traffic director, I direct the traffic.
OUTER (picking up CRITIC-mask; to TD)
We knew that. You don't have to over-specify. We're not as dumb as you think.
INNER (picking up DEMANDS-mask; to TD)
But I'll bet you didn't notice the symmetry: if we pick up the masks in the order just described, MOTHER came first, with FEARS; then LOVER, with DESIRES; then TEACHER, with HOPES; then CRITIC, with DEMANDS.
OUTER (picking up MOTHER-mask; to INNER)
I tried to love, are there fears just because I failed?
INNER (picking up FEARS-mask; to OUTER)
You're so far in the past, shouldn't that soften your influence?
OUTER (picking up LOVER-mask; to TD)
But you might see shadows of those fears in each of your lovers.
INNER (picking up HOPES-mask; to TD)
So there are levels of fears----
OUTER
(To INNER) This is too abstract. (To TD) Why haven't you found me again?
TD
Found a lover? Again?
OUTER
Not "found a lover----found the lover."
INNER (to OUTER)
All lovers aren't the same person, or even the same personality.
OUTER (to INNER)
I'm not talking about tricks, or maybe-lovers. True lovers----lovers who become truly beloved, and who love honestly in return---these lovers are, in every possible way, the same person.
TD (to OUTER)
But I've had---and lost---two or three-----maybe even more-----lovers. I assure you, they weren't the same person at all.
OUTER (to TD)
Tell me about the first one. What was he like----tell me how you felt about him when you realized you really loved him.
TD
When I really loved him? Well---first of all, that took quite a while. At first it was just his body that turned me on. I was infatuated from the beginning. But then I got to know him---and he got to know me---and we began to talk. Endless talk---we talked like I'd never done since school days---you know, hours talking about things we thought were so important, or just trivial things about ourselves---or things about ourselves that we'd never dared tell anyone else. (Pause) Things about ourselves that we didn't dare admit to ourselves. (Pause)
OUTER
Go on.
TD
And he listened. He heard. And he understood. (Pause) He accepted---me---just as I was. (Pause)
OUTER
And then you felt you really loved him?
TD
No, it was even beyond that: I found that I liked him just the way he was----he didn't have to like the same movies I liked, or watch the same TV programs I liked to watch. He didn't have to enjoy the plays I dragged him to see, just as I didn't have to appreciate the art exhibits he dragged me to. I didn't need to plan to be with him most of the time; I just enjoyed being near him---all the time. (Smiling) I couldn't get enough of him!
OUTER
And then you felt you really loved him?
TD
Yes.
OUTER
What exactly about him did you love?
TD (musingly)
I loved his mind---I still loved his body---I loved-----the way he loved me.
OUTER
And when did that stop?
TD (painfully)
He left New York---his mother died, and he wanted to live in the family house---way up in Maine. I was working; I couldn't go with him. He didn't care for New York that much, so he moved back to Maine.
OUTER
You couldn't continue loving him when he left town?
TD
Of course not. Oh, sure, we could talk on the phone, and visit during the summertime, but that's not being lovers----by remote control.
OUTER
And your second lover?
TD (smiling)
Met him in the grungiest orgy-back-room in town! What a stud! Then he drove me in his VW bug to his Victorian Brooklyn Heights apartment. What a contrast! A stud who played Debussy on his piano for me. Tripping on BHG!
OUTER
BHG?
TD
Brooklyn Heights Grass! He grew his own. Introduced me to wine-filled hubble-bubble pipes! And this stud was also writing a dictionary of contemporary music! Blew my mind! Among other things. He'd also organized his own orgy-club. I guess we knew we loved each other when we could see the other involved with someone else, and go to bed together afterwards---comparing notes on what we liked about who we'd had that evening.
OUTER
So you loved the way he loved you?
TD
Well, yes. But he had a very different body, and mind, and personality from my first lover. We did different things----we may have talked about some of the same things----
OUTER
Did you have the feeling you couldn't get enough of him?
TD
Oh, yes! I never wanted to be away from him. We lived apart but slept together every night, either at my place in Manhattan or at his place in Brooklyn Heights.
OUTER
At the best time in the relationship, you were completely satisfied?
TD
Totally.
OUTER
Just as satisfied as with the first lover?
TD (long pause)
Maybe even more so. My first lover---helped me grow up. My second lover----we had a completely adult relationship----(laughing)---while playing like kids.
OUTER
So what happened to that adult relationship?
TD (long pause)
He got into a weird sex-scene. (Pause) Don't get me wrong. I have nothing against weird sex, but for him it was----just sex. It was like being with---some kind of machine. And there was no person inside the machine. It was all---just---mechanical.
INNER
There was no emotion left?
TD
No emotion left at all. The person that I had loved---just wasn't there at all.
OUTER
And your next lover?
TD (smiling)
Ah, Larry! He was completely into cock: talked about cock, thought incessantly about cock, played with cock, loved cock. And loved me.
INNER
And you really loved him?
TD
Oh, yes! After I got past his cock he was the sweetest, most trusting, most giving person I'd ever met. He gave and gave until I was sure he'd become exhausted, but then he redoubled his giving.
INNER
What was it that he gave?
TD (pause)
I guess----I guess it was---himself. Everything he said was for me---nothing for himself, only that I should be with him. Everything he did was for me---nothing for himself, only that I would give myself to him in return.
INNER (exchanges HOPES-mask for FEARS-mask)
Did you give yourself to him completely---in return?
TD
Oh, yes! (Pause) At the beginning. It was so wonderful to be with him: I was always the center of his thoughts---he wanted so much to please me.
OUTER
And you wanted to please him?
TD
How could I not? He gave himself so completely that I gave myself completely. I dropped other friends---I told them why, of course---and stayed with him all the time. I remember one perfect week: his ex-lover, and his ex-lover's current lover, went on vacation and paid Larry to stay in their apartment to watch their dogs---dogs that Larry loved almost as much as he loved me. So I stayed with Larry in that apartment. We stayed in bed practically the entire two weeks. Larry would go to the store to buy chicken hearts for the dogs and chicken hearts for us. We stayed in bed and ate chicken hearts for two whole weeks.
INNER
Perfect love.
OUTER
What did you feel like?
TD
It could have gone on forever. We'd have sex, talk, watch cable television, eat chicken hearts, have sex, maybe read a bit, feed the dogs, eat chicken hearts, have sex, sleep, walk the dogs, talk, have sex, watch television, eat chicken hearts---maybe with a salad---
INNER
Idyllic.
OUTER
But what did you feel like?
TD
Completely happy. Happy body, happy mind. Happy, happy cock. Happy soul.
INNER
Happy stomach filled with chicken hearts.
OUTER
You were completely satisfied?
TD
Yes.
OUTER
Could it go on forever?
TD
I thought so. Even after that two weeks I still wanted more of Larry. And he gave and gave and wanted still more of me.
INNER
Why didn't it go on forever?
TD (pause)
He---gave himself to someone else.
INNER
How did that happen?
TD
It's only after---a lot of years---that I realize-----I learned the wrong lesson from him. He gave and gave, so I gave and gave----even when Larry found someone who didn't give---which made Larry want him even more, because he couldn't have him. But I didn't think it would work that way: I gave Larry to him, thinking Larry would give himself back to me. But I was wrong.
OUTER
The other guy gave Larry what he wanted?
TD
No, that's where I was wrong. I thought Larry would get what he wanted and then come back to me. But he never got what he wanted. And when Larry finally did come back to me----I----I didn't want him anymore.
OUTER
Why didn't you want him anymore?
TD
I guess----actually, this was over a long period of time---I guess I wasn't the same person any more.
INNER
Is there any possibility that you had become----bored with Larry?
TD (pause)
I guess I have to admit that----somewhere----deep down----there was a feeling of relief when the intensity died. I could take up old friendships again. (Smiling) I actually had time to work again. I could be by myself again.
INNER
Any chance that, by not "being the same person anymore," you became, again, the person you had been before Larry changed your life?
TD (pause)
But if that were true, I'd gone back to being selfish---and ungiving.
OUTER (exchanging LOVER-mask for MOTHER-mask)
I don't know a time when you weren't selfish and ungiving.
TD (angrily)
I don't know a time when you didn't want more from me than I was willing to give!
OUTER (exchanging MOTHER-mask for LOVER-mask)
Did you get what you wanted when you did give yourself to your lovers?
TD
Absolutely.
OUTER
What did you get?
TD (pause)
I guess I got----me! A better me. I could be a giving, a loving, person.
OUTER (exchanging LOVER-mask for MOTHER-mask)
You couldn't prove it by me!
TD
What did you ever give me!
OUTER
Life!
TD
That was only a byproduct----a byproduct of your pleasure.
OUTER
Don't talk to me like that! I'm your mother!
TD
I! Know! That! And I know you liked men!
OUTER
Of course I liked men! I'm a woman!
TD
And I'm a man who likes men. I like the same things about men that you like about men. That's just about the only thing we have in common, other than our name, which you changed when you married again.
OUTER
You always held that against me.
TD
That's nothing! You held my being born against me. You still do!
OUTER
Maybe I did when I was younger, but now that I'm old, you should be taking care of me!
TD
We've been over that! Children who become adults don't need parents anymore. Adults are their own people, not their parents' children! The only healthy relationship between an adult and a parent should be as friends.
OUTER
Friends! I will always be your mother!
TD
Not if you demand it!
INNER (exchanges FEARS-mask for DEMANDS-mask)
You have to be a person in your own right!
OUTER
My rights? My rights as a mother last----longer than you live!
INNER
You have to be your own person.
OUTER
Without me you wouldn't be a person. You owe me everything and you give me nothing!