ARNIE'S DO
[I forgot to type DIARY 3678!]
The first one into the room is named Ralph, and HE'S the awful one from Tsi-Dun, and I debate leaving right then. Following him are a few cuter ones, then an awful-faced guy with a beard and acne, then some older fellows who have no attraction, and finally Guy, looking pottier than ever, and a blond who's older but obviously in shape, and he says he works out to keep that way, so he promises to be sexy. Joints and pipes are passed around, and I turn out the lights, then when the sexy guy leaves the room I figure he's gone to get undressed, so I'm into the bedroom to strip and sit on the bed listening to the music, but no one enters, and I can hear them talking in the living room in what John later tells me is a lecture-demonstration, very informally, on the spirit and living of sado-masochism which he feels is good enough to be made into a film which would be a stunning success. I sit, then lean back against the wall, then lie down, and of course Ralph comes in first, but mercifully he must leave, and others come around, particularly the plumpish taller fellow, and then there's someone lying next to me who looks quite short and pretty faced, and I can't locate him until I decide that the angle's distorted Guy's face, and I start playing leisurely with him, he comes up nicely in his chain-link cock ring, and then someone's behind me watching, and I go down on him, and he has marvelous veins, but hardly comes at all, despite poppers, and I don't find anyone interesting enough to use my OWN popper on. He goes uncomed, someone else lies down with a squat cock with a SOLID cock ring, and I work and work over his hump-veined thing until he comes, and then I'm into the living room for the group session around a chained fellow, broken when someone whacks him loudly with a belt before warning him, and then I do the pock-faced guy with a sinuous thick cock on the sofa, and it's time to go, when Arnie gets busy in the bedroom, I feel up the tall fellow in the kitchen, but he's not very sexy, and the chain-guy comes in with that curious flat stomach that I associate with advanced age and care, and we're not the last to leave, but I wish I could have left even before Ralph, since it was hardly worthwhile. (RETURN TO JOURNALS 3/11/73).
SIXTH MAN'S COUNTRY FOR $1
Feel that the best part of the grass has gone with the waiting in line, but undress in the crowded locker room, then to the steam room beside a pool full of long young cute ones, and there are a number of fat ones, and at the end a few lean blacks who don't seem to be interested in any contact, and eventually I get tired of torturing myself in the heat, go into the cooler sauna to dry off, then upstairs, which is very crowded, but there seems to be no one of note lying in the rooms, and I'm off to the orgy rooms, one of which is unpopular and unpopulated, the other of which is smelly and sweaty. There are none of the familiar faces, but someone comes in whose face I like, and he stands against the opposite wall so long that I FORGET what he looks like, but when he sits on one bed I sit on the one BEHIND it, then lay down, he reclines, feet touch arms, and we're together for a kiss which is avid but unsatisfying, and I'm down on his meaty cock which is satisfyingly veined and full-blown under impetus of my full-blowing, and he seems to have a nice body, too, and I really don't care that everyone seems to be watching us. I'm hard enough for my needs, and I really have to INSIST that he come first, which he does with a scrunching groan that wraps him in a ball about my head, which is very exciting, and then I get that thin papery quality to his flesh as I play with his excruciatingly tingling cock, and then he pulls away and leaves. I stand around a bit more, someone comes over to suck me, and I find, again, everyone stopping to look at us, and we build up a scene: someone doing someone next to me, me reaching to the chest of the doee, he reaching to the other side, someone feeling me, etc, but after he comes in the doer's mouth, there's nothing left for me, so I leave, feeling the structure disintegrate behind me. But the thing that was most disturbing was not being able to remember the FACE of the person I did: if we passed again in the hall, I wouldn't know whether to nod or smile at him, wouldn't know if I encountered him again, wouldn't know if HE made a move toward ME that he was the one I'd just had. That was so disturbing that when I couldn't find anything more, I left at 12. (RETURN TO JOURNALS 3/18/73).
TSI-DUN AT R. (SAME AS C.)
Up in the elevator with the two beauties, who are much taller with shoes on than they are in person, and far less romantic looking in the bright neon of the elevator. Undress in the dining room, favorably impressed with the new host, whose roommate is out of town, and into the living room to smoke with John and Arnie and a cute long-haired blond, and CURSE him, Ralph M., the awfullest creature in creation, who just appropriates the pipe as if it were his own. Talk to the blond, and we start playing with each other, and he's slender and VERY cuddly and appreciative of my greater bulk, it seems, which I find flattering, and yet we neither come up, so I gracefully extract myself. Find some older, more substantial fellow leaning up against the wall with a smallish but very hard cock, and I go down on him, liking the feel of the massiveness of his chest and shoulders, and he seems to like me, too, and we suck and do, and finally he comes, with great groans, crouched in on himself on the floor, and then AGAIN I extract myself and see what else is going on. Nothing much, so I'm out to the living room to search for the pipe, but can't find it. Spanish German-accented fellow is new and late, and we feel around each other, and finally ask him into the bedroom, but he doesn't come, and others come in with us, so I move away. Also tackle a gray-haired hairy-chested one who seems about to come, but he doesn't. Then the lithe blond is back, and we try again and again, and finally he's gloriously up (after making lovely remarks about "The two youngest ones here and we can't get it up" and "Do you think we're latent heterosexuals?"), and we're over to the sofa where I do him, and then he insists on working over me, telling me to relax, which I do, and he feels good, but I'm not up, and I flail away at myself, finally coming, and he takes me, then lays together and we cuddle, and it's pleasant, but I feel foolish about the whole thing. There are others there who recognize me: the tall guy from Arnie's party, another cute one I don't remember at all, and the two pretties, who leave quite early. Seems to be getting a better crowd, and I'm sort of getting a string of possibilities to tide me through. (RETURN TO JOURNALS 3/25/73).
SEVENTH MAN'S COUNTRY FOR $1
In just before 8, still keeping a lot of the high, and there are some nice people undressing by the half-lockers they've had to go to because the mini-lockers are all full. Into the steam room but there's nothing going on except some black guy that I do for just a bit until someone comes in and stops us, and then I'm looking at some of the muscle builders at the end of the pool, but nothing comes of it so I'm upstairs, and the halls are crowded with nice guys. But no one's taking me, so I'm into the orgy rooms and finally find someone that I like, tanned body and nice arms and chest, and I get him up, but then he goes down. Get him up again and ask him to go to a room, but he leans into my shoulder and says he's so stoned that he won't be able to do anything. Keep working on him and he's totally up again, so he agrees to go into a room, which we find, and I go down on him. He gets harder and harder, despite his saying that he won't be able to do anything, and finally the whole scrotal area and cock achieve the gristly hardness that I'd associate with some sort of animal, and he strains upward into the air and comes and comes and comes. At one point I thought he said he'd come once already, but from the copiousness of the flow I asked him again, and he said he HADN'T come before. He asked my name and where I was from, and he said he was from Germany, and his name was Frank, and I even thought he began to assume an accent. Back to check out the lovely people, but stand in a doorway and a young cute guy comes past whom I grope, and he makes a joke about my teaching him something, and we're into a room where he's VERY excited and VERY kissy, but I can't quite stay up, though he's telling me to relax, and then he's above me jerking off, and I love the sight of his muscular body straining under his own hand, and come within an inch of getting myself, but he comes and I lap him up, then lean back against the wall to do myself, and he just stands beside me and stares at me somewhat helplessly, and when I come, squirting again and again, he just stands there, looking somewhat pained, and we dry each other off and I make my way back, dazed, downstairs and out. (RETURN TO JOURNALS 4/9/73).
ORGY AT ARNIE'S
The bedroom under the violet lights makes the striped sheets stand out strongly. Clothes off and Alvise is totally up, so we're together onto the bed, and then I go down on him to give everyone else a chance to neck with him, and when he scoots around on the bed, and I'm still doing him, Ted gets his cock around and starts pushing away at my face, and he must have COME then, because later I feel the stiffness of dried semen around my eye socket and say in jest, "Someone must have come in my eye," and Arnie answers, NOT in jest, "Yes, Ted did." Alvise had told us about how sensitive his ass was, so I decided to see how it felt, and he sort of went wild to chew out MY ass, and I went down with that, which he couldn't understand, because he was very hard, with the yoni area between his tiny asshole and large cock grossly swollen. I massaged and pummeled as he thrust away, and finally he grabbed his cock and started doing himself, and panting, "I'm coming," I bent down and took him, very pleasantly, while he tried to get me excited, but I wasn't. Ted seemed to be out of it, and I went down on Arnie just because he was there. He was quite hard to start with, and I, remembering the ease with which he came when I did him the first few times, hoped it would be over quickly, but it went on and on without any signs of stopping, and the longer I kept on, the softer he got, until finally I was just too sore around the mouth to continue. Ted had gotten out a popper here and there, but it was too stale to have any effect, so it wasn't very interesting. Then the clothes went back on and I kept kissing Alvise, and he kept saying he wanted to fuck me, but I said "Sure, after I fuck YOU," and he said he'd love to have me try it, since he wanted to know that excitement. He began talking about how much he loved the black dancer's body that he fist-fucked up to the elbow, and I asked if he'd like to meet Arthur M., and he didn't know him, but wanted to meet a black body, so when we got out into the street, he called across to me, in all his masculine beauty, "What's your phone number?" and he said it was so simple he'd remember it, and I walked back SMILING grandly. (RETURN TO JOURNALS 4/10/73).
EIGHTH $1 NIGHT AT MAN'S COUNTRY
The sexy light black is back, dancing with his clothes on, and then stands upstairs with the briefest of shorts showing off his fantastic body, but I don't know where anyone would take him even if he decided anyone was WORTH his body. Try again to find someone in the rooms, but there's no one, so back to the orgy rooms to do someone else, feeling nice bodies which pass by me as I sit on the chilly windowsill with the breeze coming in from the cold street. Then there are screaming faggots shrieking and carrying on in the halls, and that turns things off for me for a bit, too. There are some nice fellows, and they condescend to let me touch them, but they're not willing for anything much to happen, and as usual I'm being followed around by some of the ugliest guys under the sun. Back downstairs to try the shower again, but there's nothing much doing, and the sauna is usually so empty, or so filled with awful things, that there's nothing to go in for. The beauty is chinning himself in the weight room, and I just watch, but he brushes past as if I were 37, or something. Back upstairs, and wander and wander, and John said he left fairly early because it was just too crowded. Almost get into a room, but someone edges me out of the way. Lots of cute bodies about, but what to do with them unless there's a room? Back into the orgy area, spasms of action, and I'm up a few times with nice necking, but never really get close to coming, and finally get back to some grass at home and jerk myself off quite quickly, feeling unsatisfied about the whole thing. Decide that the NEXT week I'll go in on WEDNESDAY, when it's $2, still cheap enough, but maybe the crowd will be a bit richer, less screamy, and there's the chance of being FEWER but still some nice people. The $1 night seems to have run its course. They don't seem to be announcing the deadlines on time, either, which makes it more crowded, and the check-in guy is a marvel of slowness, particularly when the phone rings two or three times as he's checking each person in. And WHY do we have to sign a roster; WHY sign a card, too, WHY take the time down if they're not going to use it, WHY keep a list of who paid how much? It's really like a POLICE state, in a way, and I should be MORE angry with it. (RETURN TO JOURNALS 4/15/73).
TSI-DUN AT L.'S
I ate dinner and washed dishes, then went out to meet Arnie at 8:30 on the corner, but he wasn't there, so I came in by myself, to find him already there. It was only a ONE-room apartment, with sheets spread over the floor, and Arnie introduced me to his cute little friend from the building, and I put him down for later. I'd brought along a pipe and poppers, but the room was at once filled with people, so I didn't feel free to bring it out. The same old-young fellow with the hard little cock was playing with himself at the side of the room under the window, and I went over to watch, then reached out for him, and he submitted to my playing with him for a bit, then started playing with me, and surprisingly I came quite up, and we went into 69 for a bit, and then the older fellow with graying hair and grizzled chest started bending over me, so we started necking while the other fellow did me, and I played with BOTH their cocks. But the grizzled one wasn't about to get hard, so I went back to the other fellow, who seemed about to come, but he wanted to fuck me, so I pushed him away and he found someone with marvelous shoulders to fuck right in front of me. I watched for a bit, he came with grunts of pleasure while others played around, and then the fellow was left lying on his stomach. I felt his shoulders, and he got up, and he had a lovely padded chest on him, and I started feeling him up with pleasure, and he let me go down on him, and he was quite hard enough to come, which he did very quickly. Affectionate kissing, and I was starting to like the party. Then into the center of the room, and someone was standing alone with a trim waist and buttock area and broad shoulders, and at first he didn't seem to want to neck, but as we got into it (and the room got hotter and hotter) the kissing got more and more frantic, saliva was running down the chins and over the cocks, and our bodies began slipping ecstatically over each other, rubbing chests and cocks in a frenzy of stimulation. He got harder and harder, and finally came in my mouth with a grunt of pleasure. We stayed together to neck some more, but then the force of the heat parted us, and I actually went into the bathroom to take a shower. That felt lots better, and I went out to find Arnie's friend sitting alone in a chair. I started playing with him, and immediately others joined in, but I pushed them away and went down on his sizeable cock, which stayed up, but he had come already, and didn't seem ready to come again. I kept working over him, enjoying his body, but he didn't want to neck. Then it was about 11, and it was time to leave, and Arnie, whom we couldn't see before, appeared again and we left the apartment to get down to a Christopher Street which was positively RUNNING with gays. Arnie met various people he knew, including the Nureyev-resembler, and we chatter on the street, and met other people, kissing them goodbye at the subway, and rode home to Arnie's, who invited us up to his place for dessert, and I figured to get the pipe out and have sex. Well, I got the pipe out, and Arnie came up with something that tasted exactly like the finest zabaglione and turned out to be Whip-n-chill with some sort of brandy added to it. The pipe went around and was ignored the first few times, but then everyone began taking a puff, and we tried to get them into the bedroom, but they wouldn't go. Finally I decided that nothing was going to happen, so I lay my head back on the sofa and went into fugue, listening to their conversation without bothering to make any SENSE out of it, and listening to the music and laughing to myself. Gradually the inner laughter suffused my face, and I'd take the opportunity of some funny remark to start laughing, and I'd continue laughing not from the remark, but laughing at their NOT being high, and my BEING high, and my laughing at their remark. Gradually I slid onto the floor, visualizing their attacking me because I was so beautiful, but nothing of the sort happened, everyone decided they had to get to bed to get to work the next day, and Arnie was left with the dishes to wash and no one to have any more sex with. I went down the stairs vaguely expecting to be invited into one of the apartments, but I think the evening ONLY sufficed to bring THOSE TWO together, and I definitely felt out of the picture from the point of age and attractiveness. An unpleasant feeling. (RETURN TO JOURNALS 5/12/73).
NINTH MAN'S COUNTRY FOR $1
Jammed as usual, and the baths are more outrageous than ever. Back in the orgy room someone goes down on the floor, someone starts fucking him, and I stand back to watch as the groans get louder and louder, the crowd gets thicker and hornier, and someone in the corner starts groaning, someone else comes with a grant, and the guy getting fucked evidently is trying to make his fucker hornier faster, so he's shouting out his encouragement by seeming to come himself, rasping out his breath, gasping in his groans, and finally when the slapping of flesh and groans from a second person fill the silenced room, we figure HE'S come, too, and then the crowd bursts into applause. THAT is just too much. The blacks are back in force, screaming and carrying on, and there are even faggoty whites, tiny young kids, who act as if they were stopping off on their way home from school, and they query each other back and forth across the darkness in their high voices, and one even says "Oh, sis, what big equipment you have." In a word, degoutant. I get back to the rooms and just by luck find one that's empty, so I get inside to see what passes by. Start by playing with myself ineffectually, but finally, with determination, I come up, and finally someone tall and quite young comes off the hallway, stands in the door, and I invite him in. He's down longer than I am, but finally he's up, we're both delighted to play with each other, and though he really TRIES to get me off first, I have HIM off, and we neck a bit, he gives me his name (which I promptly forget), and he goes off. Wait for a few more minutes and a short sort of new-looking guy comes past, and AGAIN he tried to get me off, but I enjoy playing with him, and though he tries to stop me, he comes, and he groans and squirts, and then goes down on me in a frenzy, but I've gone down in sympathy, so I just tell him that I've come already, though I haven't and really wished I had, and then HE leaves. By this time things have quieted down, though there were scenes of beating on doors as everyone reserves rooms for their particular group, and I leave at 1:20, tired, but not too tired to get back home and jerk off to settle my balls for the night. (RETURN TO JOURNALS 5/13/73).
TENTH $1 NIGHT AT MAN'S COUNTRY
[Even though it's $1.25 since they started charging for the towels about a month ago.] Joe F. is past, feeling cheerful, and Arnie's been there, too, but I totally IGNORE him. Then a young cuddly kid, Richard, comes in, and we play and play, I thoroughly enjoy his compact body, and he seems to like mine, too, and we play and play until he can't take it anymore, and comes, and then he works away on me, but I tell him he can stop, and though he doesn't want to, he does. Then there's a long dry spell, so dry that I finally begin looking with favor on some of the more muscled blacks that are filing past, and someone stands outside playing with himself, and it seems like he's blessed, so I motion to him to come in and he does, closes the door, and wants to do me, but I get him into 69, and we play and play, I don't feel like necking with him at all, and we say nothing, but at LONG last he begins to go down, and his popper can is empty, which is one of the things I liked about him, and finally he's not to be had, so he leaves, not getting my room as he might have. Then a tall fellow with a VERY droopy mustache comes in, with his slender body and nice cock, and we play AGAIN, and smile at each other, and he's got a NICE face and a NICE cock, and I enjoy getting him very hard, and we sort of laugh at each other to see how well we can enjoy, and he dives strongly into my neck, leaving the first love mark in a long time, though NO ONE (even the kids at school tomorrow) have the discourtesy to mention it. Neck and neck, feeling good to be with him, and then he comes with joy, and I start working away on myself, and he sort of looks on with a "groovy" look in his eye, and when I come he goes down on me and twists me around, enjoying my come as I enjoyed his, and we chat for a bit and figure we'll leave, but I take a few more chances, find nothing, try the orgy rooms again, he's still there, too, and we nod and smile, and just as I'm leaving a shorter middle-aged guy with a smooth body looks at me meaningfully, obviously wanting to be done, so I duck into a room and he comes after me, there's no attempt at affection, I just go down on him, and he patiently puts up with my teasing, getting VERY hard, until (RETURN TO JOURNALS 5/14/73).
MAN'S COUNTRY AND ROLF
Joe's in and out a few times, and then some tall guy's playing with himself, playing with himself outside, and I decide his cock looks big enough, so I invite him in, and indeed he DOES have a large cock, which I love playing with, and I THINK he's coming close to coming, but later he says that he could play indefinitely, but that he's come already and won't be able to come for a long time. That makes both of us go down, and he leaves. GREAT cock. Then a young kid comes in who's really very sweet, but new on the kissing, and he almost gets me off, too, but I get him off and we cuddle together, and then he leaves. Then it's beginning to get busier, and I see some nice bodies going past, and finally one tall nice fellow's standing outside, who has everything going for him but a pot, but I wave him in anyway, and off comes the towel to a BEAUTIFUL body and nice large shoulders and marvelous padding on his chest. Go down on him and he's easily up, and we start in on necking, and he's great on the NECK and nice on the mouth, and then he gets on top of me and starts rubbing his dry cock, getting very hot, and I feel great looking up at his looming figure. Get him down on the bed and play with him, then he plays with me, and I scratch his back for a long time, and we get hard and soft alternately. Talk begins, and his name is Rolf H., unemployed, about to become a director of Grossey, or Pressgy, or something, a computer outfit, and I tell him about my computer experience. Then he says he's going to Kashmir, and I tell him about the trip to India, and we find LOTS of things to talk about, and he's only been out 8 months, and I find him a delight. He's reticent about talking about himself. "Actually, I'm sort of still in the closet." We talk and talk, I do him with ENORMOUS delight, though he'd rather fuck me, and he compliments me on giving him THE best blow job he's ever had. He says he likes to talk with me, we hug MOST pleasantly, and when we get to the street to see MY place he invites me to HIS place, a one-room thing loaded with books and things and very little in the line of possessions, though he has a "trust fund of $300 a month," and "lost $200,000 last month and was drunk for two weeks." I don't know whether to believe him or not, but home at 2:30 feeling MARVELOUS from him. (RETURN TO JOURNALS 5/15/73).
TSI-DUN AT M.'S
About a dozen people already there, including a cute nouveau-guy who leaves without taking off his clothes, saying it doesn't seem to be for him, and into the room to find mostly the older crew. Start looking at David and smoke with John, and sit around when Tony M. puts on his tape, at a good volume to start with, then the hard-on guy from last time puts it down, and there's a running battle through the evening with him against the world, including me and Tony and Henry, who ALSO like it loud. Then I decide to move to the side chair, and there's someone nice in front of me, and I try it with him, but he moves away, and I get into the corner in front of the speaker. The gray-blond beard comes over and starts necking, and I get him very hard, and finally he jerks himself off after we've necked and listened to the music and rubbed and felt good together. A couple others try to make passes, but I move away until I see a youngish fair fellow with someone else, and move in, and we're soon so engrossed with each other that we've lain down on the floor to get better looks at each other, and he has a curved whalebone, scimitar-like cock which gets rather harder than I would have thought cartilage could get, and finally he comes with a lot of struggle, and I think it's very nice. We meet again and again through the evening, and each time he exclaims about how nice I am. Henry's around, talking too loudly, jerking off before my eyes, and I move to get something to drink, then move into another center of action, I think having someone else, but I'm getting rather like John in not remembering exactly what happened, and I don't like it one bit (see next page). John's quickly on the sofa, saying he can go whenever I'm ready, and I try to get upstairs, but it's VERY crowded, so I come down, look around, see John C. for the first time, and we chat for a moment, and then I'm out to put on my clothes. Arnie said, since we left him behind, he was one of the last 8 or so to leave, and that Henry got a call he had to leave on at 11:15, but that it was perfectly all right to leave him there, since he could easily get a subway back, but it was the ride in that he felt was so convenient. I guess that's our last for the season. (RETURN TO JOURNALS 5/18/73).
NEW CLUB BATHS 1
Despite the fact that Rolf said they had "club specialists" working on the place, I could ONLY see the reconstruction of a check-in place at the foot of the stairs and the removal of the wall around the pool. Otherwise things looked much the same, except the people were different, and there seemed to be a somewhat LARGER number of cute, place-connected people wandering around with bathing suits on, and the resident muscle builder had a fabulous body, but never seemed to cruise. The showers had soap, so I showered and sat in the steam room for a bit, but no one was there in its smelly darkness, so I went into the sauna and steamed up a bit, but nothing fantasized happened, so I took another shower and went upstairs. Awkward without the spare rooms, and I wandered about three hours without really seeing any responses from anyone I liked. A few old sots tried sucking on me, but that just put me down more. Then I sat on the bed and someone came close and I started working on him, and he had a nice uncut cock which liked to play, and I played and played and played until he came, for what must have been the fifth time, since there were spasms and very little liquid. Stayed there, since it worked, and a guy with a chain around cock and balls came up with one of the HARDEST cock heads that I'd ever felt: long and curved like Bill's, with a texture of the most elaborately veined dildos. And it DIDN'T get soft, and when he SPASMED it was a revelation of new hardness, so that even the shelf of his COCK HEAD was rock-solid. Came finally with GREAT feeling, and he lay with me for a long while, feeling VERY different soft, and rather affectionate, though his beard didn't seem to permit kissing with any effectiveness. Then played with another guy on the bed for a long time, finally getting him off, and then tried a few more people before getting BACK to the guy I'd done before, feeling the INTENSE pimples under the protected head of his cock, and coming was a real CHORE, and by that time almost everyone of note had left, and I scoured through the place once more, but everyone HAD gone, so I left. The friend of John C.'s was looking VERY desirously at me, but I didn't care for his aging plumpness, and Rolf was there ONLY for the exercise room, not even COMING upstairs. (RETURN TO JOURNALS 8/1/73).
CLUB BATHS (2)
In at 9:30 to no line at ALL, and the moony fellow from Tuesday is there just ahead of me (OK, so there WAS a line). Shower, and afterwards a BEAUTY of a guy comes in with a long curving possible erection (could EVEN have been the guy with the extreme hardness on Tuesday!) and BEAUTIFUL skin, and I look at him as moony looks at ME drying and getting a semi-hard-on, and HE gets harder, but gets out of the shower QUICKLY and he seems to be on the way out. Nothing doing downstairs, so up to find it fairly empty, but cute kid on the bed, so I go over, he moves not, but also moves not when I reach for his almost-stiff cock, and he moves over on the bed, I go down on him, and we quickly get into 69, I coming up nicely, and he comes VERY quickly, and then moves away, but we'd started necking, and I have a primary impression of under-the-tongue roughness (of technique, not texture). Then around to the other side and there's a hairy blond who's not bad, we try each other but BOTH seem reluctant to come up, he doesn't care to neck but likes to hug, and I go down on him, and he's a faintly memorable guy from Tsi-Dun with a wart on the underside of his cock, toward the balls, and he's fun to play with, coming WAY up and liking it, and then he comes thrusting, a small group gathered around, and then I go back to the bed. Nothing for awhile, so downstairs to look in on a doing-jerking off scene in the sauna, cute things swimming, but no one comes into the HOT steam room anymore. Up again and there's a cute kid who is PROBABLY the first one, but he gets MUCH harder, plays MUCH longer, and kisses MUCH more effectively. I get roaring hard, we play, kiss, play, push off other hands, play, and he comes with ENORMOUS gouts of come, fantastically pleasurable, and I'm so relieved by his pleasure that I have to jerk myself off, but the feeling is FELT, and I strain against his mouth and body, and we lie for a bit, and then he says "See you later," and I'm looking FORWARD to it. Later, by the pool, I see this CUTE kid, and figure it's him, but he doesn't look at me, and I have the ghastly idea that in the dimness he thought I was young and ravishingly beautiful, and the THOUGHT of going up to him (provided, even, that he IS the one, since I wasn't too sure that #1=#3) and seeing a horrified look cross his face as he realized that THAT is what he'd been having so much fun in bed with (much as Laird expressed his shock when Zoltan came into the light at the meat rack on Fire Island)---I couldn't get up the courage to even INQUIRE if he were the right one. Two cute young guys found each other, one of whom worked there and described sleeping on the cushions downstairs through the night and going to work from there the next morning, then coming back in the evening to work HERE, and they sexed and sat on the bed rapping for the rest of the evening, rather destroying that area for sex. There was also a marvelous duo, a muscle builder with a BEAUTIFUL John-like thinness of face who was after a tall beautiful blond with a sexy face (but a bit of surliness and unattainableness that rather turned me off---until I get him, that is), but the blond didn't seem interested in doing anything with ANYONE, and later I saw him watching TV and the muscles talking with someone else. Lots of cute young attendants around, too, and they seem to have free roam of the halls, but of course, seeing EVERYONE who's there, they hardly get desperate in the dark back rooms. I still want ONE more, and am ABOUT to leave just before midnight when someone slight and Italianate comes checking in, so I wait for him to get to the orgy room, he comes over to watch the scene on the next bed, and I reach for him while he peers around to try to get a good look at me. He's not turned OFF exactly, and he comes up quite hard and even starts oozing, but then he doesn't want to come, and keeps pushing me away with a mumble which even leads me to think he might not speak---or at least English---and I try and try, but finally he convinces me that he DOESN'T want me, so I go down again to watch LOTS of guys playing in the pool, cutie still sitting there, but it's really the end of the evening, and I feel I won't be getting any more (after checking around to make SURE), so I dress and get out at 12:30, wondering why they have the SIGN "$2 to midnight" if they don't do anything to get anyone OUT at midnight. Pleasant cool evening walk home. (RETURN TO JOURNALS 8/4/73).
CLUB BATHS 3
Finally a new check-in booth at the bottom of the stairs, nice fellow waiting in front of desk, nice blond muscles checking in in BACK of desk. John's gotten there and OUT before me. Shower with some potty fellow who's getting a hard-on looking at me, and I obligingly get a semi-stiff looking back, and into the steam room for a couple of smelly minutes before I see that the cardboard on the door reads "Closed." Lots of nice people in the pool, a crowd of awful ones in the sauna, so I'm upstairs and find no one in the rooms, and into the orgy rooms to sit on a bed, and someone starts feeling up his own body, which is always nice, so I start playing with myself, he comes over, I start doing him, and out of the corners of my eyes, I can see quite a crowd gathering around to watch, and I'm quite hard by now, and he comes with a satisfying spurt, then pulls himself away. Surprisingly, there's someone right there waiting to take his place, not bad either, so I go on to him, and THEN, mind-blowing, there's the tall tanned beautifully masculinely-haired dreamboat I'd talked achingly briefly to at Fire Island, and he puts his long curved Bill-like cock in my mouth, and my hands wander up to feel his fabulously proportioned bulk and muscles and hair and curves, but he doesn't seem to want to come, so I can bring him to the brink, then he leaves. I sit back in amazement, and there are two or three OTHERS waiting in line, but I'm too freaked out to respond. Then JOHN comes in while I'm sitting in the corner playing with myself, and he jumps on me, I start handling him, figuring he DIDN'T know me at the start, but thinking I'll do something and he'll stop and say "It's YOU." But he doesn't so I'm torn between thinking that he KNOWS it's me (particularly when I go down because I'm thinking about the situation overly much) and that he DOESN'T. If he KNOWS, then, does he like the atmosphere to give ME a bit of mystery and added interest? I tug on him and suck on him, and he says it was finally the amount of time I held him in my mouth AFTER he came that gave him the clue, so he decided to sit back and see if it WAS me, and it was, but then I look at the person NEXT over and it's Paul, or whoever, from Tsi-Dun, and we say that we haven't seen each other for a long time, and we start hugging and kissing, and his little cock is just as much at attention as it ever was, and John looks at him in what I'm SURE is a strange way (though later he says it wasn't), and leaves, so we're down on the bed, and he makes me very excited, and he plays with me and I with him, until I fear he might lose it, so I bring him to a climax which he seems to like very much, and then I WANT to come, and bridge myself up between my feet and my left shoulder, sort of arching sideways over his body, and whack away at myself using his come as a lubricant, and his hands are gently encouraging: it takes a damnably long amount of time and I don't want to turn around to see how many are watching because that WOULD be the end of it, and finally feel that inevitability with relief, and roll on top of him to GRIND my sore-edged cock into his narrow belly, kissing him, gasping, grinding again, and it seems to take a LONG time for everything to come out, and then I've strained so that I have a lot of breath to keep up with, and I'm trembling and gasping and panting and sweating, and he's gently comforting me, almost cooing in my ear, and then I can finally relax and we agree that we were VERY stoned, and then he says he HAS to take a shower, so he leaves, and I sit around, quite dazed, debating going, but there are still cuties around, so I go to the next bed and there's someone thin and nice lying there, so I try doing him, neatly at first, but he doesn't seem to want to continue it, so finally, though I like his ripply little body and he seems to have a nice face (though I kiss no one but Paul all evening), I leave him, see a few other young bulky things who seem to run out just as I come up to them. Down to shower again, debate leaving, but it's ONLY 10:30, and wander around the halls again, seeing if there's anything of interest, but what's of interest doesn't care for ME, so I decide to go, seeing for the last time the fellow who STARTED the evening, a tall taciturn number who's been lying in bed, allowed me to play with him, then demanded to know what I liked, and when I didn't respond, asked if I wanted him to fuck me, and when I said no, seemed down, so I left him. (RETURN TO JOURNALS 8/25/73).
CLUB BATHS 4
Lots of lovelies around the pool as I get in to shower, but no one takes me up there. Steam room is still closed, nothing much in the sauna, so I'm upstairs past the dim pillowed lounge which is quite empty to the rooms, and there are no doors open, so I'm into the orgy rooms, People come and go, I lounge like some naked Maja waiting for someone nice, and some shorted fellow looks nice, but doesn't stop. Finally a large black comes past and starts playing with himself, and I go down on him, and he gets fairly close to coming but doesn't. Then the shorts comes in, and I have fun playing with him, and have him pleasantly. Into the smaller room and there's lots of activity, and I find myself quite stoned-feeling in the center of a passel of people feeling my chest, ruffling my hair, putting their hands on my ass, sucking on my cock, and I single out a few to look at and caress, but it gets JUST too crowded in the center, so I go to the side where there's a CUTE young kid, seemingly very new, and I go down on him and HE comes, and then someone else is there, and I do him, too. Into the other room, and there's someone short and nicely built, and I go for him, but he goes for my ass, and I move away, but then go back to him and he accepts my doing him, and he's nice. Down to shower since I'm so hot, and in the sun-lamp room the same last guy comes down and stands in the doorway. I smile at him and he BEAMS at me, eyes blue in the light, and we hug in the doorway, we go down on each other, his cleft cockhead hard and delightful, and we go around to the bench outside the sauna, and lie down in 69, and he comes with a GREAT spasm, and I insist on doing myself, and he enjoys it, and we've been kissing, which is nice, and then he wants to buy me a Coke. I go UPSTAIRS first and then feel silly, downstairs and he's there, we go to a table, and he begins to flatter me OUTRAGEOUSLY: asking what I'm going to do when I grow up, how wonderful my smile is, that I'll grow into being fucked, that he's sure to see me again, that he lives at such-and-such a street, believes in ESP, answers with his name and address when I asked quite a different question: answering the questions HE wanted me to ask, and I just get QUITE stoned with the rush of sugar to my head---and the grittiness of the Coke to my teeth---and finally have to leave him. Back upstairs to see a NICE muscled person cruise past, and then a LOVELY blond, and I'm in and out looking for the people in the rooms, but by far the best places are the orgy rooms, and I'm in and out. A young slim fellow says "It's too dark in there," and I reach for his nice chest but he moves away. Then why did he talk to me? Could the place be getting merely FRIENDLY? It boggles the mind. The cuties are in and out a few times, and I try reaching for one, but I just can't make contact. Other fatter ones are trying for me, but I push them off. Then there's the typical ending note: someone who seems to be very cute and very excited, on whom I work and work and work, but he doesn't seem to be getting any closer to coming, he seems to be one of the help who's regularly worn to a frazzle by all the contact, and Luke comes across when I'm finished with him, sweating like crazy, saying he wanted to say goodnight, and parenthetically adding, "You need a shower." I get down for my third shower, finding it hard to get soap, and things seem to be going downhill again with the Club Baths, except that finally the ENTRANCEWAY is all fixed up, now let's hope they work on the shower. There's the blond-gray older French-looking guy with such a nice body, but he doesn't look at me, but there's a plump bellied Puerto Rican with the most MARVELOUS half erection that I can't take my eyes off, and that helps his erection, but we don't get together. I go back up to make sure that I'm not missing anything, but since I've come already, I seem really to be finished, and I've had so MANY, it seems, so far, that the only sensible thing is to go home. As usual, when I'm dressing, cute numbers pass. I go into a state of conviction that I'M beautiful, moving my hand languidly up and down my chest and my leg, and I'm convinced that that communicates with the OTHER people since everyone seems to AGREE that I'm looking very good, and I can be sure that my eyes must have a spaced-out, spiritual look that brings them on. (RETURN TO JOURNALS 9/9/73).
CLUB BATHS 5
I suffered Paul clinging to me until I really felt awkward about standing there, so I let his insistence on kissing me work me onto the bed, and we fell into 69 and I brought him off in a white cascade on my chest, and he gasped and smiled and shook his head, and then moved away while I dried myself off and prepared for the second person. In the small orgy room there were not many nice people, but someone fairly young and shy was standing in the doorway, and I decided to do JUST what I wanted, which was to play with his cock, so I moved over and took him in my hand, and played and played until my hand got wet from his come, hardly touching any other part of his body, and HE moved off while I wiped myself. Then, finally, the short handsome, hairy-chested guy I'd looked at so pleasurably suffered my body to come near him, and he kissed me, sucked me, and I kissed him, caressed his lovely body, and we twined all around each other, but he seemed not to want to come, and finally, after it REALLY seemed we were close to each other, he said he wanted to rest, and moved away from me. Later, when he saw me in the lights, I rather paranoidly thought he was unpleasantly surprised as he raised his eyebrows and pointed at me with "You?" in his eyes, and I smiled ruefully and nodded, reached out to him, and he reached back, but only out of a sense of duty, I thought. Back to the small room and do someone there, and then there's a flabby guy who plays and plays and plays, and he comes so nicely that first time that I keep him in my mouth, working him over as he lies quite passively, and I work on him until he gets ready to come AGAIN, and it's rather a nice feeling to bring him off twice, and he's willing to caress my body, but doesn't seem interested in kissing. Then, at last, I see the dark little guy being done, and go over to neck with him AGAIN, and watch with delight his lightly muscled body straining into this guy's mouth, and he comes with pleasure while I kiss him and watch his face, and then he moves away. I get home at 11:30, unsatisfied, eat something and get into bed before getting OUT of bed to smoke again and come, with a deal of effort, but spray ALL over because I'd been so close during the evening. (RETURN TO JOURNALS 9/22/73).
CLUB BATHS 6
Things seem busier at 10 when I enter, stoned nicely because I don't have to take a shower AFTER smoking, and wander through the halls to find someone who MIGHT be nice in a room, but check out the other places before coming past again, and he's coming out of the room and starts kissing me, but I just don't FEEL like necking with him, so I lower my head and he starts in on my "innocence" and "shyness," and starts asking me questions which I won't answer and babbles on about how HE likes to talk, how much he likes me, but he never touches my cock and seems only to like "loving" me. He "won't say he loves me, but he likes me very much." I get him quite hot and he said that I should play a bit, since he fears that when he comes, I'll leave. I play and play and play, he's QUITE hard and exciting, I'm hard, too, and then I WANT him to come, so go down on him VERY gently, and there's a PAUSE of a long time and then he SHOVES into my throat and shoooppptttts for a long time, and I stay down on him until he comes up again, and we go through the kissing talking and necking a SECOND time, and he says he has a wife and two kids (daughter 5 and son 3 with the son mentioned FIRST) in Nassau County, and comes out without his wife knowing, and then he comes a SECOND time with about the same liquid volume of the FIRST time, and I ask about his stomach, the result of an investigative operation for internal injuries in an auto accident not healing well, having to be reopened, and he's got about a half-inch gap in his belly. FINALLY he leaves me go about 11:45, and I then have a slender lined-faced guy, like older version of cute guy from St. Mary's, whom I do in a group thing and caress and hug and kiss AFTER he's come, to our both delights, and I caress and stroke him each time we meet in the halls. Another group forms and I play with fat-tits, but nothing comes from it, and finally I get to him again, determined to come, and I whack away at myself and come ALL over his chest and thick arms, for the feeling of a GOOD night, through I really did rather USE him, from 10 to 1:30, feeling MUCH better when there's AFFECTION mixed with the mechanics of getting someone's rocks off. (RETURN TO JOURNALS 9/23/73).
TSI-DUN AT K.'S, THE WORST YET
Flabbergasted to walk into the tiny apartment and see, on a sheet over the drapes, the film of the "Two Brothers" going in color. Though the grass-cutting-off puts me off, I still look forward to watching the films, but everyone's sitting on the sofa and the sheeted floor looking at the screen, and Garth is saying "If you don't start fucking, I'll stop the films." This is AFTER he's said to every incoming guest, "Don't worry if you miss some sections, I'll be showing them continuously through the evening, since I have an hour of films and I'll show them three times." That and "Put your money in the bowl, put your clothes in the kitchen, it's lightest in there, and put out the joints, my landlord doesn't like it." He's wandering around in brownish-tan undershorts, too, which isn't very attractive. Then he DOES shut off the films, and I go into the bedroom, but it's small and crowded; at the start, only John is fucking John P. but John P. said that just as he was grooving on John's cock, some fat guy came between them and messed it up. "I don't care what anyone looks like, but no one told him to get FAT." I've been watching the films, and the slow-motion comes of the two blonds are worthwhile seeing again, I figure, but most of the others seem to groove on fucking, except for the tail end of one which shows about five people COMING in rapid succession, and he won't even say who he GOT them from, except that it ISN'T Don S. and it IS one of the greatest collections in town. I'd like an INTRO. The lights are off in the bedroom, and I don't care for that, but then he decides to put the lights on, and I care for that even LESS. Feel self-conscious: don't want to be with Frank, since I figure he doesn't like me but will suffer ANYONE to paw him. Don't want to be with John P, though he's cute, and later I find out that he wants to be fucked into oblivion, so I'm not interested in that SCENE. Then the awful guy from Jersey is there with almost a crewcut, which makes him look even WORSE, and he comes to sit next to me on the sofa saying something about Mattachine, and I smile and respond with absolutely NOTHING. Then the beautiful couple---AL, the blond, and DAN, the dark one, and I sit and talk to Al, guessing his lover's name as Ken, and he says that's what it USED to be, and did I read his mind?? Then he says he's got a TV show ready for showing to someone tomorrow, so I wish him luck, feeling too stupid to ask WHAT he does. Ed B. comes in quite a bit later, when Garth has gotten to the point of saying "Not another one, where will they all fit?" to EVERYONE who rang the bell, and it never got as crowded as it had in OTHER smaller places. Then every so often he's sweeping through asking if everyone's OK, pointing out the KY on the table where it isn't, adjusting the bathroom lights, and asking if the sheet is still covering the plastic covers on the chairs! John P. chortles and says "How Polish can you GET?" Then there's the remark made about wearing socks for the old porno films, and the awful guy who wanted the volume changed at Henry's comes in with LONG black socks on which he KEEPS on, seeming to pay attention to NO one, sitting JUST under the film jerking off, wondering why everyone isn't jumping on him. There are a couple of cute ones, but I never seem to get around to them. There's a stocky mustached bald guy who keeps looking at me, but even though he goes DOWN on me I don't come up. Watch Frank jerking himself off and feel a TWINGE of sensation in my cock, and that's the best there is all evening. [John P. just called to say that his sister came into town, so he couldn't come, and that everyone at the motorcycle meet at Tom's River in Jersey was expecting John P. when he signed up for it.] Threesomes fucking on the bed turn me off, the lights turn me off, the Gliere and Tchaikovsky and even Beethoven's 9th, for God's sake, turn me off, and the evening is an ABYSMAL flop. I even watch the gray-haired cutish fellow fucking someone on the living room floor, and it seemed more like a ritual than like something they were enjoying, and another plump one was standing there jerking listlessly off. The tallish fellow looking like the hero of "Bijou" turned me on until it was clear HE wanted to fuck, and I necked for a bit with Dan, but he never really got turned on to the short bumpy fellow who was doing him, and I kept wandering from room to room, wanting someone to LOOK at me with something like affection instead of lust, or with lust instead of back-slapping friendship. There were also a number of EXTREME fatties, silhouetted in the light from the refrigerator, which turned things off, though they didn't even REACH for me. People started leaving early, and most everyone was on their way out when we left at 11, and the number of people who seemed to be going ELSEWHERE for sex implied that not EVERYONE thought it was the success that omnivorous John V. did. And even HE admitted that it could have been nicer. Frank was told to leave his $5 in the car, and John P. lost a metal inhaler that I'm SURE someone took home with them. Garth let a warped record on, saying he didn't think it was so bad, and after about 30 minutes of silence said "Oh, the music's off," and then bustled around putting on something. Also, the eternal "One flight up" for EVERYONE who rang the bell, as if they couldn't COUNT to 2-R. Some cute faces turned into paunchy monsters. Everyone kept balling up the sheet, the bed must have been SOAKED with sweat, and I pissed in the dark, hoping someone would come in and attack me and no one did. John P. and I sat commiserating with each other, and he got into a LONG story about the Spike and S&M which obviously disturbed some of the fuckers on the bed, but he kept right on going. All the poppers seemed to be artificial and smelled awful, even the beer, though cold, had no taste---maybe I WAS sick, but it was a downer for lots of OTHER people, too. No blacks, no VERY old people, like John R., thankfully, and John was talking to an oddly-built stocky person who was OBVIOUSLY into the SM scene, asking who John's lover was. I felt not CONNECTED to anyone, not INTERESTED in anyone, not intrigued by any of the bodies, not turned on by the decreasing number of mustaches, anxious to avoid AG, the fag at Arnie's party and John V.'s and Tony M. So the dark was bad, as John P. agreed, because only the AWFUL ones reached for you, but the LIGHT was bad, because even though you might be WITH someone groovy, you could SEE the beasts humping on the bed. PERFECTLY AWFUL! (RETURN TO JOURNALS 9/26/73).
CLUB BATHS 7
There's a long wait, which is sad since I'm newly stoked with grass, but there are two cuties behind me, so it's pleasant. In and upstairs to find BOTH orgy areas closed, but there's a NEW area down the hall that's quite dark, but with lights that you have to get accustomed to, and I watch people coming in and out, and finally watch (1) a dark young handsome muscled guy, and he leads ME to orgy bed for the first time, and he's slow to come up, but enjoys hugging and kissing only a bit, but he comes up, and then there are hands from EVERYWHERE, but then he's VERY up and comes copiously, and then sort of slips away into the darkness, and the night's started. (2) Blond comes over to bed, lank blond pubic hair, soft body, short hair, Paul-like bodily bumps, VERY kissy, shortish, comes once, loudly, then won't let me GO, kissing me nicely under the pink lamps, then drags me down again and he comes AGAIN, saying that we both want the same thing, then he FOLLOWS me around, then finds I have a lover. "You have to learn it somewhere, I guess," and I didn't say that I ALWAYS knew how to neck. And then I see him standing in the orgy room busily fucking someone. BUSY! (3) Try a muscled fellow, but he moves away. (4) Tall guy comes over, slightly overripe, big, nice come, bending over me and clutching my head to his chest. (5) Older fellow wants me, loaded balls and pulpy, tiny cock, hard to bring off but very hard, silent and undemonstrative. Pity. (6) Start on black with nice arm who reaches out---to vacant room and do him NICELY, hard, GREAT come, not kissy, but a lovely caressable body and ass. (7) Blond muscled fellow is up nicely, but turned off by the gathering crowd. (8) Try tall handsome Syrian-type, but HE'S scared off. Potty though young. (9) Lovely short cute attendant in torn blue jeans and John-hair wants ME very much, and he's VERY hard and VERY nicely built, so I do him quickly, and he keeps trying to work on me, but I've COME with "Thor," the blond---NO, I FORGOT (10) about the guy with the COCK RING, HARD cock, NICE body, KISSY too, though not buccally exciting, who whacked himself off as I did, coming all over EVERYWHERE. (11) And the CUTE kid who keeps looking at me condescended to say "Hi," and we smile at each other, and I leave ON TOP OF IT ALL!!! (RETURN TO JOURNALS 10/16/73).
CLUB BATHS 8
Right into the dormitories, sitting on the lit bed, and I see the familiar torn pants of the attendant, and reach around to a SEXY interstice between leg and cloth and testicle, and pull him down on the bed with me, and he's VERY sweet and cuddly, and I'm QUITE hard and he loves swinging on my cock, but AGAIN he comes, and I just don't feel like doing more, and caress but pull myself away, feeling dreadfully SORRY for him, but he's had more of me (what a SHITTY thing to say?) than many have had. Then position myself under the spotlight, marvelous for fantasies, and everyone DOES look at me, and I DO feel worthy of being looked at. Kid comes in trailing the smaller fellow with the triangular face, soft brown hair, shaped mustache, and trim torso who all-in-all so reminds me of Mark Spitz, and he's left to himself on a bed, so I move over, he doesn't move away, and I stand beside him and ever so gently, so as not to offend him, move my hand up and down his muscled leg, over his shapely chest, and then try tugging at his towel, but there's a slight rip of material and he's got some kind of fastening with his key on the side, and he undoes that, and he's quite hard, so I go down on him and he goes down on me, and his body is FABULOUS, and we neck and he tries to swing around to my ass, but I won't let him, and he comes quite quickly and pleasurably. We lay together necking, and he seems to be getting hard again, and TRIES AND TRIES to get me around to my stomach, but I just don't want to GO, and he takes to kissing me fervently, and he's hard as a rock again, and he rubs and rubs against my stomach, while my hands and fingernails go up and down his back, and he squirms while I get marvelous feels of his thick chest, biceps, padded shoulders, slender waist, and---how else does one say it---halved melons of buttocks, leading down to a marvelously firm and formed yoni with tight balls spurting his semen on my belly. He rolls off and necks for a bit, then says he has to take a shower. I sit up a bit dazed, probably smiling like a goof, and wander around to see a TRUE beauty, rather like James Dunn of the Joffrey and the Harkness, with a NICE build and NICE face, but I just get a somewhat heavier guy who looks quite a bit like him, only younger, and he's lying on a bed waiting for me, too, and I play with him and he comes up fully, and I do it EVER so slowly as he gets bigger and bigger and harder and harder, and I can SEE the handsome one looking at me, and I'm looking at him from between the legs of the guy that I'm doing, who's getting more and more excited, arching his back, gasping louder and louder, and finally he comes with a GREAT heave and my mouth overflows with his come, and he relaxes and I caress him and he comes to whisper in my ear "You sure can suck cock!" and I feel VERY gratified. Down to take a shower at this point, and there is lots of soap but only a pudgy Spanish fellow to share it with me. Over to check out the now-working steam room, but there's no one in there (oh, took the sauna in the beginning to WARM UP), so I'm out, stared at by a pair at a table, and there ARE some cuties around, but MANY are watching TV and lounging untangled. Back into the fray, and there's a tall black (I didn't mention the pudgy number who sucked on me at the start, from whom I moved away when HE didn't get hard) that I start in with on the bed, and he has a marvelously compact body with great responsiveness, and he insists on doing ME back, too, and when he's come he STILL works on me, so I strain and hold myself and finally come, TOO, having the idea that everyone's watching, and feel VERY good about it, caressing afterward, and AGAIN sit on a bed watching, and everyone's sitting around watching ME, though I keep telling myself that if everyone sits around a circle looking into the center of the circle, EVERYONE could think that everyone was looking at him, so I TRY to rationalize it. Then there's the black with the HUGE cock, even soft, hanging out at 10 degrees off plumb, standing against the wall, and he sits on the corner bed and I'm over to sit near him, but he obviously welcomes me, so I'm next to him, and pull the towel away for the BIGGEST COCK I'VE EVER SEEN, including Bob B.'s. It's so LONG that I can have it ALL down my throat, touching teeth on all sides into the bargain, have my HAND around the shaft, and STILL have room to play with his balls with the other hand and run my cock-hand up and down for about an inch. That's surely something OVER 11 inches, at LEAST. AND it had a mass of veins on top that were undoubtedly thicker than any I've felt. The SEVERELY hard one MAY have been SLIGHTLY bigger around, but it wasn't NEARLY as long. The VERY hard trim body reminded me of Bob R., and so did the way the cock seemed to hang down of its own enormous weight. There was a strap, too, which localized everything, and I went up and down his body from his bee-bee tits to his esthetically curved thighs, and when I later saw him in the LIGHT, and he SMILED, I was struck with the RICHNESS of his color and the BEAUTY of his eyes, reminding me of a cross between the SEXINESS around the eyes of Lena Horne and the incredible skin quality of Harry Belafonte. Extraordinary! I played and played, and he reached down to stop me form squeezing too hard, but the cock got harder and harder as he came close to coming, and only the head didn't expand to meet the rest in size, sort of prow-shaped like Bob's, too. Then he started thrusting, panting, and I could see heads around me looking in, and then he came, gout after gout, and I worried at him with my own little bone, and he finally spent, rubbing my back, permitting me to kiss him, and we lay together, gently crooning at each other, while the neighbors began fucking strenuously away, hands reached out for his incomparable cock, and I moved away, positive that the evening could offer nothing more (the tall gawk seems to have taken over room 39, where the doll was), and I left about 12:50, more than content with the activity, and felt TOTALLY happy as I made my way back home, feeling a lift in the heart and the throat that I haven't felt in a long time, just TOTALLY GREAT, knowing that these LOVELY YOUNG DESIRABLE people found ME to be desirable too, accepted my overtures, and flabbergastingly, even staying WITH me when I wouldn't come up, taken over enough with my doing of them to stay WITH me until they CAME. Yes, when you're younger you CAN come three or four or five times, but when they're with me, they KNOW they enjoy it more than average, and I still feel that I'm GROWING, rather than DIMINISHING, in physical attractiveness. At 37, I find that BREATHTAKINGLY GRATIFYING! (RETURN TO JOURNALS 10/17/73).