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1958 1 of 3


WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 1, 1958. Start at 10:30 reading Bradbury and looking at Thompson's pictures. Very exciting five times, and very hungry about 5 pm. No wonder. Took shower, met Barlow again, unpacked and fixed room, went to dinner with him, and back here to talk for hours about things. He liked pictures too. Then finished NSF fellowship form---at last, finished New Yorker and finished cleaning room. Very fatigued, wonder why. Pictures are really great. Soaked stamps off, even, and Rikers. Bed at 3.

THURSDAY, JANUARY 2. Up at 10:30, clean shaver and eat lunch in LION'S DEN, then out to "The Golden Years of Comedy" with Laurel and Hardy and Harry Langdon and Keystone Kops and Carole Lombard etc---very good and newsreel---than off to Paramount for Alan Freed and practically everyone in Rock and Roll, Eberly Bros and Fats Domino included. Dinner at COLLEGE INN and two hours of wonderful talk and one hour of wonderful sex with Barlow Weaver. Tired. Read quite a bit more of Mandingo and bed again at 3 and up at 11.

FRIDAY, JANUARY 3. Down to eat and then typing letters and a small attempt at studies and back to the pictures and lay for a while and dragged back up and to the studies. Supper with Barlow and more Mandingo and then to WISHBONE till 12:30 and back here and talk and so forth till 3---twice all around. Drop very dead-like into bed at 3:30 am, room messy.

SATURDAY, JANUARY 4. Up at 11 and fix room and short visit from Ralph and brunch with Barlow and standing in line for a frigid hour and standing room for Gounod's "Faust" at Metropolitan with Gedda and Geuden---fair opera. Around to find something for Julian and me to see, but nothing, so back here for supper and finish of Mandingo. Enter Barlow and talk and enter Chuck and talk and over to Riker's and an attempt to study and bed at 2:30 am.

SUNDAY, JANUARY 5. Up at 10:30, dress and eat and go to Low Mass in auditorium. Back to study a bit and with Chuck to ballet, bad seats, to see Swan Lake, Apollo, Minkus Pas de Trois and Square Dance---all good. Dinner at the GOLDEN HORN, including cheese Beobact, Lule Kebab, Bulgar Pilaff, hominy, baklava and a kardigatory cocktail. Pinball machine and Manhattan Hotel lobby and then "Bridge over River Kwai," very good, at Palace and pragmatic discussion and shower and pain in chest, to bed at 1 am. SCHOOL (ugh).

MONDAY, JANUARY 6. Up at 7:45, feeling miserable and routine, through classes and lunch with pain in chest and over to St. Luke's to see what's wrong. Nothing, but don't smoke and no coffee. Do odd things---once---anything to NOT do homework and supper and night class and feel feverish so no studying for me, just go to bed at 11 pm and have very strange dreams: Bus ride through beautiful countryside and meeting Barb Coral and John Seibel and "wife" and beautiful blond, which I couldn't have.

TUESDAY, JANUARY 7. Coughing and sneezing and nasal dripping and up at 7:45, wrung through wringer. Classes as usual and studying (for a great change) and supper with Chuck and can't resist "Rashomon" and "Umberto D" at Thalia and literary talk (Dostoyevsky) on way back and cheeseburger at Riker's and bed at 2 am.

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 8. Classes and copying back copies of tests WOW and writing letters and studying a bit---wait for Chuck but no come and get package from home and set out for Cinema 16 and "Gold Diggers of 1933." Sharp pain in chest affected by cold air and exertion and in torment on all four sections of jamming between subway station and destination. Shower and to bed at 12:45 pm, must see doctor tomorrow.

THURSDAY, JANUARY 9. Up at 7 to study for Metallurgy test and pain yet, so over to infirmary after lunch. Exam again, write letters, attend Physics Seminar by Dr. Frank in "Philosophical Interpretation of Physics," over to St. Luke's for a chest X-ray and study for a while, then supper and buying binoculars at Masters and "Romanoff and Juliet" with Ralph. Home to do two hours of Atomic Physics due tomorrow morning. To bed 2:15 am.

FRIDAY, JANUARY 10. Wake at 7:45, fall asleep and up at 8:40, eat and over for an electrocardiogram. Class, study, dinner, study, rest for an hour, study, supper discussing Chuck's remarkable and wonderful idea that we should surrender to Russia---beautiful! Really study for the first time in a long time. Fall into bed at 12:45 completely FAMISHED, resolving thoroughly to buy something to nibble on before I go to bed---except my fingers and lips.

SATURDAY, JANUARY 11. Up at 9:45---good sleep and eat and over to library to catch up on Nuclear reading, then lunch at 2 and find lovely print of "Hide and Seek" from Donald. Hum. Study and study and once but it hurt like mad. Supper and Reactor paper and nuclear problems and finish practically everything---just study for finals left. Write letter, take shower and think of 100 letter words for an hour and to bed at 1:45 am.

SUNDAY, JANUARY 12. Up at 9:45---8 hours sleep and feel fine. To a one hour and 45 minute Byzantine service (Communion under two species) very interesting. Then down to Ballet for "Serenade, Souvenirs, Pas de Dix, and Pier Piper" in second row center, first balcony. Met Rod Robbins, ballet dancer and operator of own school in Pennsylvania---with him to dinner at the Taft and walking to Rockefeller Center and coffee at Rectors and wonderful talk and back here to dream and study a bit. But no, I fix souvenirs and papers and catalogue yearbook and Chuck comes for talk and Scrabble and we wander to Rikers for more talk and I fall at 2:30 am.

MONDAY, JANUARY 13. Up at 7:45 and class and find that X-rays and EEG are completely OK: I have a charley horse of the chest! Letter writing and day dreaming and up to Vic's for work on Reactor problem and as usual we rush down to dinner and to class for a MOST disgusting lecture by Mr. Young. Back to study midterm notes for awhile---but feel listless so go to bed at 11:30 pm.

TUESDAY, JANUARY 14. Up at 9:30 am (10 hours sleep, feeling fine). Class and find I haven't paid food bill and to bank for bills. Completely lousy weather, rain and ice and great winds and cold and wet. Jerri quit school. Studied and came and went to Chuck's to play Scrabble and we ate and mad dash to "Nude with Violin" with Noel Coward (50-50) and taut conversation with Ralph and back here and "debated" about studying and lost and went to bed at 12:30 am.

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 15. Up normal time for normal morning and up here after lunch to study and play and fool around an awfully lot. Chuck comes up and four of us eat supper and we play Scrabble and I leave for "Together" SUPERB, "Momma Don't Allow," one of these days I'll do better, and "L'Heure" pretty dismal. Coffee at Horn and Hardart and back here for shower and to bed at 1 am. Must get up early to study Metallurgy. UGH.

THURSDAY, JANUARY 16. Up at 7 and study one hour for Metallurgy exam, then go over there and flunk it miserably. I couldn't have been more wrong. That's the last I see Gensamer for class. Havens closes Nuclear with a wonderful summary of the course and an excellent resume of what we know of Nuclear Physics. Study and eat with Chuck and play Scrabble till 9 pm and work on last Atomic Physics problem till 12. Tomorrow is last day of school!

FRIDAY, JANUARY 17. Day just went---and found that I got a B in Metallurgy so---no final in THAT subject. Review for Graduate Record Exam and listen to music and Austin comes in 2, 3, 4 times with problem and puzzles and just talk. Then Chuck comes and we eat and play Scrabble, and then up to his room for recording session and I try to change my voice, over to Rikers and back here for talk about "Making and keeping friends" and bed 12 am.

SATURDAY, JANUARY 18. Up at 7 and walk 20 odd and very cold blocks for Graduate Record Exam. Aptitude test hard, interesting, and a snap. Then wandering into Shepherd hall tower and Wyngate Gym and Harris corridors and back to Physics test, very hard but MAYBE I didn't do badly. VERY cold, VERY windy 16 degrees walk back and supper with Chuck, then back to think and look up 109 words in Valentine and study for a miserable hour and a half and drop into bed, feeling quite numb, at 12 am.

SUNDAY, JANUARY 19. Awake at 8:30, lay there till 9:30, and fiddled around and ate until 11, then started in studying, which I pursued until 2:30, going to lunch at Rikers and back at 3:15, studying through till 7, when I just plain lay down for a half hour, then to supper at 7:30 and back at 8:30 for more study and a half hour off for Georgetown U. discussion and really study until 12:30 am. Shower and weary to bed at 1 am. First final exam tomorrowOW.

MONDAY, JANUARY 20. Up at 9:30 and eat and study and come and sit and dream and buy New Yorker and read all of it and dream some more and study some more and eat supper and over to Hamilton to take a really easy but I say it's hard Nuclear Engineering test that I should have aced had I studied. Then to Thalia for W.C. Fields and "We are All Murderers" (haunting) and to West End for three beers that wafted me home on a cloud of Ave Maria. Should do it more often: be a drunkard. Bed at 1:30 am.

TUESDAY, JANUARY 21. Awake at 7:30 and lay till 9:30 and up and study and spend time doing nothing but worry about the study I should be doing. After lunch write long, morbid letter to Cesira and long bright one to Larry, getting very philosophical in Cesira's, listening to music and watching gloomy rain outside. Chuck comes at 6:15 and we play Scrabble and eat until 9:30---good hours wasted. Then study with some semblance of fanaticism until 1:30 am and so, numb, to bed.

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 22. Up at 9:30 (again) and study and sit in lounge and watch world go by, and study some more and lunch and study some and come some and dream some and study some and supper and study some and lay down from 9-9:30 and study some and shower and parade some and dream some and study some and then (to break the monotony) study some more, and at 12:40 am set alarm for 6 am and go to bed hopeful, worried, fretful, satisfied, tired, and THINKING.

THURSDAY JANUARY 23. Up at 6 and study till 8, then to test from 9-12:30. Ungodly, horrid, terrible, hideous, frightful test. Then lunch and complain about test and see Chuck and complain about test and talk theater with Austin and ? and play Go and squares with Austin and go with Chuck for tickets to Marcel Marceau and to "The Chairs" and "The Lesson," fantastic things by Ionesco, long, wishful talk by Ralph, and here quite tired, to bed at 1 am, setting alarm for 9 am only.

FRIDAY, JANUARY 24. But really at 1:30 am set alarm for 9:30, and get up at 10:15, eat and fiddle around and mess around and do nothing in particular till 12, then study till lunch and study till supper, along with laying down and washing socks and wasting time, then back up and study for hours and hours---forcing myself to study even though it probably won't help: the tests will be so rough ANYONE would flunk if the instructor graded %-wise. Bed at 12:30 am.

SATURDAY, JANUARY 25. Up at 9:30 and start study at 11 am. Go through till 2, and bring lunch up, waiting for Rod, who never called---lay down at 2:30, up at 3, talk to ? till 3:30, and to study till 8, with only really very minor interruptions. Supper and back and play stupid hands of solitaire out of sheer disgust---call from Dick and Barlow sticks nose in, too. Down to books at 11 and up at 2 am, surprised. No CALL---BLAST Rod. Bed at 2:15 am.

SUNDAY, JANUARY 26. Up at 10:30 and come now and to books till noon when stomach rumbles me over to Rikers for a ham omelet. Back at 12: 45 and to study, and lo and behold, Mathematics for Physics becomes interesting and I study at a rather concentrated pace, stopping only to look through binoculars at assorted sights, drink water and urinate. Chuck over at 8 and we eat and I get back to books until 2 am. And to bed immediately after---what else? Pray tell?

MONDAY, JANUARY 27. Up at 10:15 and to breakfast and etc and window-staring-out with binoculars till 11:30 and then to the books! Study desultorily until 2, then down to lunch and up to come and binoc look and the inevitable call from Ralph and study and supper and study and up to Vic's momentarily and back down for more study. Long about 2 am take shower and come back to study until 2:45 am and ruefully set alarm for 7:45 am, only five short, worry-ridden hours away. Blast tests!!

TUESDAY, JANUARY 28. Up very tired and take a test that I keep SAYING put the Atomics test to shame for difficulty, but it REALLY wasn't so hard, though I could have used more than four hours. Lunch and moan and talk with Chuck and moan and study and supper and study and lay down and binoc and come and study and over to Rikers with Austin and talk for awhile and shower with him and to bed at 2, up with foggy binocs and to bed at 2:45---dead, but can't sleep. Darn.

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 29. Up at 10:30, breakfast and over to library to study continuously till 4, then eat and study some more. Then it starts. At 6 Chuck comes in and we play Scrabble till 8. At 8 I listen to music till 9, when I leave for C16, memorizing notes on way down, making acquaintance of Doug Horner on way back. We get to Rikers and then he comes up here for light-hearted conversation. I chase him out, glance at books and go to bed at 1:45 am with hideous case of insomnia.

Thursday, January 30. I think too much---but I didn't study for Math test. Up at 7:45 and over to test and take test and mentally commit suicide and lunch and laughter with everyone getting F, then up to type a bit and Doug comes and we talk and talk and then parry and thrust and I flutter like school kid and Chuck knocks and I stutter and then eat supper with him and then to "Volpone" and "Topaze" and to the Bizarre and up to Te Deum, getting to bed at 4:30 am, wow.

FRIDAY, JANUARY 31. Up at 12:30, feeling great. Get some paper and letter work done and saw Bonilla. Made up notebook and ate supper, then to a preview of "The Infernal Machine" and then wandering in the Village, first to the overcrowded Bizarre, then to Limelight for a Crème de Menthe Vichy and Rum Cream Puffs and back here for a game of Scrabble and bed at 2:30 am. Really living it up this vacation time and it feels great. Wait till grades are posted, though.

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 1. Up at 10:55 and file through New Yorkers, selecting ads, jokes and stories of merit. Then typed a few letters, had brunch, typed more letters, called Dick and had a sundae with Austin and went to Dick's where he and I left at 10 pm on ride to Coney island, where I wrote twenty other pages (which see.) Back up here to a frigid room and to bed, exceedingly tired, at 4:45 am. Must ask Barlow who he had for tea THIS time of the night.

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 2. Up at 1 pm---my, my, and shower and fix room a bit and type a bit and lunch with Chuck and to Sylvia's, where I meet Miss Harding, vocal; Kitsy, cute; Harold London, out of this world; Mr. White, a sculptor with a twinkling stare; Bobby, built like a---; Mr. Little, come down to the Village architect; the musical comedy writer, Peter Prescott? And Mr. Bertillotti, who wanted to make a group shot. Home amazed by the group and write a few more letters, come, and to bed at 12:30 am.

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 3. Toss and turn, thinking, till 2, then asleep and up at 8:15. Abortively over to Pupin, back to eat, and over to Pupin again to register. Back to type and talk with George (passed Atomic!), then more registration fun with my fellowship threatened (passed Nuclear!!!) and supper. Wander to look for show and see "Body Beautiful," then down to the Village for a magnificently sad five hours in Lenny's looking at individuals, rather than the crowd, for a very enlightening evening. Speak with Tim Brown and over to his apartment for mutual praise and glory and fall asleep about 6 am, and up at 8:30 am.

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 4. Back here and fall in bed until 4 pm, then, sans money, to the Museum to see films with Sylvia, then coffee at Colbers and a long, devoted discussion. I munch on four cream puffs and wander to Marcel Marceau, after which I feast at Howard Johnson's and get home to bed at 1 am.

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 5. First day of school and all goes well, except that I flunked Math, but may not have to retake it---good. Wander around here, doing things, seeing Kehl and Bonilla and typing and call Julian and say I can't come: "Got to buy books," and he calls back and I go there for a luscious repast of lamb chops and baked potato and vodka and custard and Julian---where he takes shower picture he says "didn't come out" and we make up for lost time. Home, tired, at 1:30 am.

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 6. Up at 10:30, just in time for breakfast, and dawdle around till 1, first class of Lab. After that I request drop from lab, eat dinner and go down to Barnes and Noble for books. Call Tim and go to his place where we have a most interesting talk wherein we both agree that being friends is better than being blanket partners, and we agree to see more of each other. Chuck and I over to Rikers for awhile and I flop into bed at 1 am, room looking horrible.

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 7. Up at 7:45 and almost late for class due to fixing up of horrible room. Three inches of snow greet my winter-starved eyes. Classes come and go and I pay a few bills and wander about a bit (getting book from Phillip Little) and study for some time, then get down to 96th Street and back up for binoculars and back down for "Time Remembered." Ralph wants to talk and so do I, so talk we do, in Hectors and side entrance to Schraffts---for about two hours, about my and his sex life---quite interesting. He appears understanding. Then I come and to bed at 2:30.

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 8. Wakened at 10 am by a call from BJ, rousing back from Texas. Out of bed again at noon. Writing all sorts of letters and then meet Don von Eman for Chinese food at Lucky's and the "Stars of the Russian Ballet" and "Flamenco" at the Thalia, after which we find a monstrous line at Lenny's and go to the Bizarre. After talking forta few hours with Dick and Stan we part and I arrive here about 3:30 am, exceedingly cold inside and out. Finally fall into a chilly bed at 4:45 am.

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 9. Wake up at 11:30, guess can't sleep always. Bed till 12:30 then up and pictures twice and read Schrodinger and eat first meal of day at 2. Mysterious call at 11:30, didn't get it, darn. Roy calls and BJ calls, say no and didn't get respectively. Type assorted and fix more assorted and study actually quite a bit and listen to music. Take shower and to bed at 1 am.

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 10. Up for class and run around taking care of Fellowship applications and fees, then study a bit and eat dinner and late class and study bit more, decide to go to Lenny's after having coffee with Don, down and talking with Tim and long-lost BJ, and getting pawed by drunkard, and refusing two others, including BJ and Tim, when John Connolly comes along, William Inge's secretary, and whisks me to his fantastic mirrored, draped apartment and his fantastically muscular undraped body, to talk incessantly and revel in general, getting down to sleeping at 5 am.

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 11. Wake at 11 when we have breakfast and I come up for dinner and a wonderful uncomfortable dinner staring at Apollo and then talking with Barlow in library. Up to study for awhile, then calls from Ralph and Julian and Don and down to supper with Chuck and up to piddle around for awhile, and go to bed at 9 pm, to toss and turn and be roused by Don at 11:30 and toss some more.

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 12. Up at 6 to do problems in Quantum Mechanics and piddle some more and then classes. Relax for awhile and classes again till 5 and then Chuck up for quick Scrabble and down to supper and up to Ralph and a trip to "The Unknown Soldier," a particularly horrifying picture of army life, and a short conversation and I COME back here quite late, determining to go to IBM tomorrow and find my chances for getting back there for a summer job. Bed at 1:10 am.

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 13. Up at 7:30, quite tired, and it never took me so long to dress. Out to IBM at 10 and meet and talk to EVERYONE there and everyone very gracious and gabby and seemingly glad to see me. Kopley and Cohen both say I would have no difficulty getting summer OR permanent work either at Applied or at SBC. Encouraging. Talk to Sylvia for about an hour and then to "Moonfleet" and "Farewell to Arms" at the Roxy, cheeseburger for supper and piddle and call up Mom and with Chuck to Rikers and talk for two hours on wiseness of Columbia and fall, thinking, into bed at 3 am.

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 14. Up normal time and quite tired. Classes drag on and out to study bit, bring lunch up to room. Lay down for awhile, study more, decide to go to Philadelphia, supper and half-Scrabble with Chuck, going to bed at the ungodly hour of 9:30 pm---determined to be nice and rested for what promises to be two hard days in Penna.

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 15. Up at 7 and packed and everything and even stand in Penn Station for 45 minutes. Ride uneventful and meet Laird Ward at his apartment. Talk and have lunch and Laird and I to concert recital at Penn University Museum, wander about it seeing Egyptian, Greek, Arctic, Chinese, Indian, etc, art works. Back for supper then to "Street of Shame" and "Tell-Tale Heart" and Pirate Ship, Maximes, Hideaway and Allegro, meeting people after people and then back for "coffee four hours," where Laird holds forth and I meet Lenny and Lamar and Bill and Bruce Terwilliger and we talk and tell jokes and compare notes till 4 am, when a threesome becomes a twosome for a moment and then I get Laird until 12 noon.

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 16. Up and brunch with Lenny, Lamar, and Bruce and listening to records of Bourbon and Theodore and just talking with Laird and Bruce to wonderful effect. Supper there and talk and arrangement making and jaunt to Terwilliger's Towers and then Lamar's Luniticary to say frantic goodbye to Lenny and to station and bye to Laird and Bruce, two hour wait on snow-bound train and slow, standing ride home getting to Penn at 1:45 and back at 3 am, pooped.

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 17. Up for classes and stagger through all and lunch, and type letter after letter, studying not at all, until horrid Nuclear Reactors lecture. Arrive at Lenny's at 10:30 pm to very cold, empty reception. About midnight the place fills up and comes alive, and, following new policy, I brush off about six until I get what I want. 3 am comes and lights, and I want haves, usually alone and I get pulled into bar, freezing and converse with Hank for awhile, then odd group and I have audacity to ask Hank if he's gay. Flattered, he invites me over. I very worried, but ten minutes after 4 in the morning I'm in raptures, which last until ten minutes after 4 in the afternoon. Very taken with him, he's supposed to call. I get back here at 5. Wash and clean up in time for dinner with Chuck, in time for change and down to "Annie Get Your Gun" after which I have a long, confessional talk with Ralph, and he with me, and I get back, very tired, and flop to bed about 1 am. When will I ever catch up on my sleep if I get only 7 hours a night?

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 19. Up for classes and get that call from Hank and arrange. Class called off happily, so I get haircut and fiddle around till supper, even deigning to study a little. Eat and up for shower and waste time in general until I leave. Get to Hank's at 9:30, watch Victor Borge, WAIF film and "Julia Misbehaves" with Greer Garson, then we misbehave. He looks so very much like James Dean it's heartbreaking. We play until about three, doze off until about 9, and then I leave about 9:30, another 12 hours.

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 20. Back here in time for breakfast and to turn down a ticket for "Vanessa." Study for a bit and window gaze for even longer. Talk with Barlow for longish time and then dinner with Don and talk with him, too. Call John and go over to get lectured, edified, treated to an art exhibit and a self-exhibit, and back here at 12:30 to go to bed at 1:30 am. Will be tired in the morning, I'm sure.

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 21. Yess, I am. Joe Shpiz getting more and more interesting in class. Back to read New Yorker, lay down for awhile, study a bit, lay down some more and waste quite a bit of time. Long game of Scrabble with Chuck and supper alone, then call Tim and spend 10:30-11 over there, 11:30-12 in 415, wild as I could have imagined. Then 12-2 in Ce Soir, where I meet Carlo, talk for awhile, dance my first dance, and invite him here.

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 22. Get to sleep about 4 am, up for an instant at 9, then up at noon and out at 1:30 pm. Call from Sylvia and meet Don on way. Lunch at Rikers and back for fiddling at 2:30. Take laundry out at 3 and talk to Chuck till 4:30, back for more fiddling and an attempt at study. Out to supper, back for another heartbreaking attempt, only. Listen to music, and greatly disturbed, get into bed at 8:45 pm. Some sort of record set.

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 23. Up at 9:30 am---on a Sunday yet, and listened to music and studied and the interminable fiddling took over. Studied a bit more, out for lunch and back to study. Went to Sylvia's for dinner with her and Phillip, talked of high meat and sex, sex, homo, hetero and a bit of bi. Left at 12 and walked through the park over ice and frozen snow to here, getting to bed at 1 am.

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 24. Classes in the morning went and got eight letters---some sort of record, and a very nice record it is, too. See Foley and find I got 15% in final. Back to study a bit and talk with Barlow and write long letter, then down to supper and talk with Ralph and class and embattled debate whether to go to Lenny's or not, but I decide to study for a bit, and the Math even gets interesting, so I study from 9:30 to 12:30, get quite a bit done, feel very good about it, but hunger again, and resolve to start studying anew.

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 25. Up in time for class at 10, study a bit, class and see Foley, who says I have a "B-ish" average, so sounds encouraging. Back to study, and I actually do, until 7, when I eat and back up for a moment (talk to Barlow before) and over to see "Viva Zapata" and to Rikers for a coke. Back at 11:15 and study until 12:30, actually going ahead in Math. My determination amazes me, but again I find that it's FUN to study, and when I do that, I'm sunk. Will get 7 hours sleep for the first time in a long while 12:45-7:45, the perfect way to do it.

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 26. Classes pass, and I study between, and Metallurgy drags out and I actually study, dreaming only a little in between and fiddling kept to a minimum. Hungry interminably and supper and off to Cinema 16 for "Witchcraft through the Ages," a truly revolution-arousing film. Ralph and I stand on street corner and tell each other tales until 12:30 or 1 am, and I roam home quite late, showering and exercising for first time in long time and getting to bed at 1:30 am, determined to sleep no more than 8 hours, which I do, really.

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 27. Up and eating and study some more, often calling Hank and John and getting half-answers from both. Up to read first newspapers and work first puzzle in long time and then to studies. Rain pours and I decide against attending Seminar, and spend time actually studying and does it feel good. Off to "Dark at the Top of the Stairs," an actor's play, and back to work on homework for Quantum Mechanics, working rather feverishly until 4 am, at which time I plunk into bed, girding myself for a rather drowsy weekend. Actually to bed at 4:14, only 3.5 hours sleep.

FRIDAY FEBRUARY 28. Arg. Through classes and back to study some and read New Yorker through and talk to Chuck and Ralph to come up at 10 for Scrabble. Supper and Scrabble with Chuck and Lenny calls from Penn Station. Ralph and John arrive and drive me down and Lenny looks at Hotel Holland and Dixie and goes to Taft. We cozy it up a bit and down to Village. No room at Lennys, so out to Old Colony and other Bar on 8th, and back to Lenny's, meeting Philip all the way. Back to room at 4 am and wrestle till about 5, then sleep till 12 and lay abed till 2.

SATURDAY, MARCH 1. Up for shower and breakfast at 3 pm. See ourselves on TV and see "Brothers Karamazov" after which I come here to change and shower, and back down to Taft and down to Macy's, where I leave Lenny at 12 to party. Down there and Bruce shows up and I talk with many interesting people till 3 am, and everyone leaves, I with Bernard Beall and someone to Ron's room in Hotel Chesterfield. John arrives in a crash and we leave, muchly flattered and cajoled by olders. Subway ride back interesting (3 couples) and to bed at 6 am.

SUNDAY, MARCH 2. Awakened by call from Phillip at 1 pm and up in time for call from Lenny at 4 pm. Down to see him off in a trice and back to STARVE until Chuck raps, we eat at College Inn, take in "Symphonie Pastorale" and "Albert Schweitzer," coming back to eat at Riker's and I shower and get to bed at midnight, steadying myself for classes tomorrow.

MONDAY, MARCH 3. Up for classes and fix room hastily, dinner with Joe and up to type many letters, going strong until time to work Reactor homework and going down to supper with Don, where I'm introduced to the Zombie, and cute friend, both of whom I ignore. To class and back to eat orange and study QM, studying straight through (with binocular rest periods) until 12:30---get to bed just before 1 am, determined to catch up on all the sleep at least last weekend.

TUESDAY, MARCH 4. Reluctant to arise at 9 am, even with 8 hours sleep. Class hilarious in its sheer un-understandability, back to call John and eat and class and repay Chuck and back to study---really. Loaf a lot, too. Supper with Chuck and then Ralph, Chuck and I play Scrabble. They tie, I loose. Chuck goes and I walk on Riverside, talking, with Ralph, back at 9:30 for a bit of study and sock washing, and foreboding about the bad way I feel. Take aspirins and hope feverish feeling disappears. Bed at midnight (12:30). Addendum. Bed two minutes when buzzer buzzes, announcing entrance of Doug Kahn, who bends my ear, and I bend his, until 2 am. Bed.

WEDNESDAY MARCH 5. Up and dress, still feeling ill, or tired, cannot decide which. Tell Joe and Doug and he says "I attract that sort of people." Hm. Up to study and down to eat and up to sleep from 3-6, feeling quite lousy, but so luxurious stretched in bed. Down to eat and up to study a modicum and organize 192 notes. Shower, talking briefly with Austin and to bed in frigid room at 12:45 am, fatigued.

THURSDAY, MARCH 6. Mope around room a bit, trying also to get in touch with John, succeeding in doing nothing. Finally feel so bad that I decide to go to the Infirmary, where I have a temperature of 101 and am told "It's between me and the bug." I choose the dorms as battleground and retire with gargle and Empirin to bed and music, waiting for Chuck to come, which he doesn't, and get an 11 pm call from Phillip, which is greatly long and involved, Chuck and Lenny et al, and I fall asleep finally.

FRIDAY, MARCH 7. Don't go to classes today, eat breakfast only and down again for supper, eating lightly, to obey doctor's orders. Feeling quite bored with laying abed, and disgusted with the whole situation. Further calls from Ralph and Phillip, and a short visit from Joe do very little to help a sense of humor further aggravated by a radio that succumbs to static for 3/4 of Beethoven's Fifth. Weird dreams all three nights, things a psychiatrist would have a ball with.

SATURDAY, MARCH 8. Room unqualifiedly cold all three days. Out to College Inn for lunch and decide I'd better be up or I'll kill myself from lack of movement and boredom. Talk with Chuck and Don for awhile, then back to read New Yorker. To College Inn for dinner and down to try to see Gorky's "Courageous Ones," but end up in "Devil in the Flesh" and "Beggar's Opera" with Lawrence Olivier. Back to Rikers and Scrabble and eating Lindt chocolates and licorice and talking and puzzle working, getting to bed at 4:15 am and rising at noon.

SUNDAY, MARCH 9. Shower and fix up in general, get assorted literature from Barlow and give him photos for library friend. Read some, then down with Chuck to Flower Show at Coliseum, quite a thing, with wonderful floral displays of jungles, woods, fields, and gardens, and sculpted displays and orchids and sales booths. From 6 to 10 there, then back up here to fix room and listen to music, bed at 1 am, tired.

MONDAY, MARCH 10. Not to forget Mrs. McThing with Helen Hayes and Scheherazade. Classes OK and even study a bit between, but mostly loaf. Five full hours of classes, and then start a letter, start to study, then break a long record [for masturbation] with an hour and a minute and a second and then some, for a smashing 43 [spasms] counted and 45 probably. May never be the same, but a record is a record. To bed at 1 am.

TUESDAY, MARCH 11. Up normally, feeling quite tired, but classes pass and letters get typed and to SAC to see "From Renoir to Picasso," "GBS" and "The Stranger Left No Card." Back for supper and out again for "Member of the Wedding" and "Tea and Sympathy" at the Terrace. Met Tim on the subway going down and arrange to meet him at Lenny's afterward. I almost get lost in the Village but finally find Lenny's and no Tim. Wait around for awhile and Bill Rose strikes up conversation with me and I go to his place and leave at 3, getting home after torturous tangles with subways at 4:30.

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 12. There's TOO short hours of sleep and up again, classes, dozing, and homework and more class till 5. Then back to letters and down to supper and up to study just a bit and then downtown for "The Preying Mantis" and "Museum" at Cinema 16. Quite some sights going up and back on the subway, long livid white and long bearded black in animated conversation. Talk with Ralph for awhile and joke about me and then back here to fall into bed at 1 am, DEAD tired.

THURSDAY, MARCH 13. Awakened by fire alarm test at 10, and 9 hours sleep sits well. Study a bit and listen to music and lunch and talk to Chuck for longish while, then he's over for supper and a Scrabble half, after which I dash off to "Wonderful Town" with Ralph. Nancy Walker quite good. Down to see Seagram's building in the snow and then up to Julian's for TV only and out into snow, walking slowly, backwards, up the central promenade, drinking in the sights, and up to my room, just looking and listening to Happiness Exchange. Bed, kicking myself, at 3:30 am.

FRIDAY, MARCH 14. Up in time for classes as usual. Snow still falling heavily, quite beautifully, Lunch and down to the Village, drawing up my little map, seeing "Before Breakfast" and meeting many people, listed in notebook (qv). Back up for study and supper and Scrabble and Lotto with Chuck until 9:30, desultory attempt at study till 10, then to bed, out at 10:30 to fend off an invitation, "Tonight till Monday," from Phillip.

SATURDAY, MARCH 15. Up at 9, the 11 hours making up for what I missed before. Messing around till 10, breakfast till 11, study till 12, lunch and walk till 1, then 2 hours of "Mood and Contrast" and "The Figurehead" and 2½ hours of "The Bolshoi Ballet" with Giselle and Forest. Up to supper with Chuck and listening to records at Chuck's and borrowing $5 from dissists and down to Village, getting turned out of Lenny's and Colony, reading Sam Kramer and back to Colony, rather discouraging, till I meet Harvey Cantor, who rides uptown with me about 12:30 am and we get to bed and play till 4, then sleep till 8 and miscellaneous twice and once till 11, when we're over to Prexy's and back to dorm for talk and out to Riverside Church and leave him off. Immediately Roy calls and I transfer thrice out to him, talking to conductor, and HE twice to nice none and I botch change of Ralph and him and back to get admonition from Negro and through Morningside for long, long, long (three hour) talk with Barlow about absolutely everything until 10:30 and to bed about 11:30, after fiddling.

MONDAY, MARCH 17. Classes pass and back to newspaper and Cesira's letter and back to lunch, buy new paper, which occupies till 3:30, and then I nap till 5:30, get Don's call and read New Yorker and other junk until almost 7, dash through dinner and over to class, talking to Phillip for about a half-hour afterward, then actually studying a bit, getting to bed at 1:45 am. Completely disgusted with school and unabashed poverty.

TUESDAY, MARCH 18. Up and classes and NY Times and lunch and call Harvey and call from Julian and talk with Chuck and study an instant then out to investigate Low Library and St. Paul's Chapel, and receive Julian and show him around, sup and let him read letters. Call from Harvey at 9, shove Julian down to TV room and say for him to call at 9:30---Don wants to say something. We arrive at 9:30, I get down 10-10:45 talk to Julian about Jerry and up to Harvey again and call again from Julian at 11 saying "no soap" and with Harvey to Rikers for tea at 12 and to bed at 12:30, mentally exhausted.

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 19. Classes and call Julian and say it was all a lie, "What Don said," and we said we'd call. Harvey calls at 12:30 and I work puzzle and read and lunch. Class and Harvey calls again at 5:30 and I type many letters and Chuck and I play name Scrabble and eat dinner and I'm back, only to type and call Hank (he's out) and John and Harvey and talk about two hours with Barlow. Plan to go to Lenny's, but change mind, shower at 11 and look at pictures unenjoyably until 12, when I'm to bed at 12:45. Tomorrow I study??

THURSDAY, MARCH 20. Up at 10 and down to breakfast; snow, snow, snow, and I sat quite awhile just watching it fall. AEC said no and I wrote letters all morning telling everyone that. Lunch and washing and talking on phone and more letters and fixing assorted things occupied the entire afternoon, including talking to Austin about problem and on phone to Harry and Ralph. Studied about an hour in all, solved problem and talked another hour and a half to Austin---getting to bed just after 1 am.

FRIDAY, MARCH 21. Finish classes and eat lunch, staring out window and then down to Riverside Park for 1½ hours gambol in the snow, rolling mountains downhill, etc. Back to shower and talk on phone and do assorted odds and ends and wash socks and mess around. Down to supper after about 1/2 hour's study and up to work on costume idea for Art Ball. Finally, after reading entire New Yorker, decide to get to work at 11:30 until 2 am, working till 2:30, and bed at 3.

SATURDAY, MARCH 22. Up at 10 and down to breakfast---try to get some QM done, but Joe enters at noon, interrupting my perusal of the "Top 21" and we lunch and talk and go to his office, where he gives me about a dozen problems and we talk with Gelmore and we talk some more and down I go to the library to talk with Chuck, all in all till about 5, when Chuck comes up for Scrabble and over to College Inn till 8. Down to see "Flaherty Awards," "The Hunters," "The Earth is Born" and "Overture" and "Dawson City" and then wandering all over Greenwich Village with him, finally eat in Greenwich Village Riker's and talking all the way. Uptown and to bed at 3 am.

SUNDAY, MARCH 23. Up at 11 and fix myself and room up, waiting for Harvey. Comes at 1, dinner at College Inn. Toward St. John the Divine, then walked down to his place and watch Leonard Bernstein and Wagner and La Boheme. Talked and ate there, then walked down to get tickets for South Pacific (after touring gay section of Park) and then subwayed down to Village to wander about and eat in Provincetown Landing and walk to subway station at 10 and up here. He leaves at 11 and I fiddle around till 12 and then tackle QM till 3, getting plenty done, but not getting to bed till 3:30 am.

MONDAY, MARCH 24. Classes drag and even more so when Quantum Mechanics called off. Up to study and type letters and lunch and puzzle and study, then dinner and worrying about getting Chuck and binoculars, finally getting them at 8 and rushing like mad to the City Center "Showcase," a name-filled potpourri, and talk with Ralph afterward for long time and home at 12:30, knocking on Austin and to bed at 1:30.

TUESDAY, MARCH 25. Must catch up on sleep for Harvey. Up for classes, but no Electricity Problem session, so over to study and read puzzle and Times and look out window and lunch and laugh way through a PAINFUL Math session. Borrowed $5 from Chuck as last resort and up to study bit more and make arrangements for tickets, shower, eat and meet Harvey for opening of Seurat collection at the Modern, from 6:30 to 9:30 and to his place for coffee and tapes of operas and leave about 11:30, home and listen to fight and music and to bed at 1 am.

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 26. Classes go and come and go, as does breakfast, lunch and dinner, interspersed with simple loafing and studying. At 7:15 Harvey arrives, to tune of music and dumps all his medicines on table. Passion mounts to passion mounts to ever increasing music, he getting frantic and clawing at one glorious point and I almost crying with ecstasy. We lie enwrapped for long time---talking desultorily---and get off to sleep about 11:30, up at 7 by common demand and "togetherness" until 8 and 8:30, when he goes off for work.

THURSDAY, MARCH 27. Breakfast and Mom sends $10, breaking my money fast. Lunch and heart-tearing rush to IBM interview, taking test and being reprimanded for incredibly stupid application. Think I've lost my chance. To Modern for long talk with Sylvia, and down to see "High Noon" with Cooper and Grace Kelly, then to Pantheon for Greek food and "Back to Methuselah," with tremendous cast and brilliant play. To Julian's and exceedingly trying time, but he slips me $5 and that's that. Wander through subways getting stares galore for umbrella, magazines and navy blue coat and suit. Feels good. Home at 2 and start into New Yorker, getting to bed at 3:30 am.

FRIDAY, MARCH 28. Classes drag, but they're the last for a week. Get "no" from Assistantships. Down to Museum and look through History and see "From Here to Eternity" with Sylvia until 7:30, rush like crazy back up, 8:15, change and down to 10th Street for an Art Opening at Camino at 8:15. Drink and talk drunkenly with many people, then to Lenny's at 11:30, to stand till 4, getting my fill of sights, then here at 5, going to bed at 5:30, just as dawn is breaking.

SATURDAY, MARCH 29. Up at 1 in time to eat and dress and dash down to "Waltz of the Toreadors," then rush over to Museum only too late. Back up here, after seeing Arno for lunch, and talk to Chuck and talk to Barlow, for longer time, then down to supper. Back up to look at "Family of Man," start an agonized letter of love to Bruce, but I'm so tired I can't even get courage to clean room, which is a complete mess from two days of completely raucous living. It'll be better tomorrow. Bed at 11:30 pm.

SUNDAY, MARCH 30. Up at 7 and loafing until 9, get up, breakfast, buy paper, back and start typing letters and fixing up room. Hunger pangs begin about noon, but I ignore them at the insistence of the Sunday Times puzzle. Letters come pouring out and the room gets neater and neater and I get more and more meticulous, soaking stamps and arranging things. Chuck comes about 5:30 and we go to eat and then up for Scrabble (he wins!) and Jotto. 2 seconds after he leaves Harvey enters, and we talk and he takes pictures and we lay until 1 am, when I come back up, read Plato's Phaedrus until 3 am.

MONDAY, MARCH 31. Get 7 hours sleep and fix room and myself up more until 11:30, when it's out to lunch and assorted errands. Back about 2 and started on stamps, getting involved with them and Austin, then getting out some letters (IBM, for one), until 7, when I went down to eat and see "All at Sea" and "Decision against Time," good and hideous, with 11:30, to Rikers, and back to almost finish Times puzzle and scour entire paper for good things to do during the next week. Showered and got to bed at the normal hour: 3 am.

TUESDAY, APRIL 1. Up just in time to fix couple of things, then down to lunch with Harvey and tour through New York Historical Museum, running into Ted Ochart, with whom I have a long involved conversation about tastes and clothes, in the Ramble. Uptown to receive news that Harvey arrives---dinner and he arrives at 8:30, and we finish about 11 after long, heart-to-heart talk and to bed at 12:00.

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 2. Up at 3 and 6 and 7 and 8 and finally over to Prexy's for breakfast. I check check and buy ticket for "Rope Dancers" and eat hot dog and see "Witness for the Prosecution," then run crazy to "Rope Dancers" and through that, then dash uptown to Sylvia's and "Dr. Carver" and "The Search," then watching stars entering premiere of "Young Lions," then another hot dog and down to Cinema 16 for ape and child and psycho cases and an actual birth. Talk with Ralph and over to Rikers, meeting Chuck and inviting him to Scrabble, staying till 2 am.

THURSDAY, APRIL 3. Up just in time to meet Ted down in Village at 12:30 pm, after which we wander completely around and we circumnavigate Village about three times, I finally getting enough courage up to enter "tight shop" and try on khakis, not taking them. Ted finally tells me "horrible truth" and I leave to meet "Larry" on "bus" and meet Harvey at ABC. We wander through Park, watching sun set on Cleopatra's needle and the Mall, and dinner at TAVERN ON THE GREEN ($4 chicken), after which I steal his coat and sit three hours for Larry in 54th Street station, coming up here to talk with him for an hour, getting to bed at 1.

FRIDAY, APRIL 4. He comes down at 8:30 am sharp, after which we subway down to Aquarium 11-2, wander around Coney Island, riding rides, finding dried jellyfish and making dinner of knishes and pop. Subway to Fort Hamilton and walk along coast to ferry at 5 to Staten Island and at 6 to South Ferry, getting to RCA to see stage show of Easter twice and "Merry Andrew" once. Eating in Waldorf followed by trip back here about 12 to figure plans until 1.

SATURDAY, APRIL 5. We vow to meet again at 8:30 am, which we do, breakfast again and take a bus to 5th Avenue shops, wandering along looking in clothing, jewelry and ice-skating windows. Down to look for tickets and get some for Circus, but that's all. Bus to Palisades and we again ride rides and see people until 6, getting back in to Port Authority to subway down to 5th Avenue and 14th, eating in 14th St. Cafeteria and seeing "Gervaise" in 5th Avenue Cinema. Out and down to Village, down MacDougal to 4th and 8th and see Bizarre and meet Len Chandler of all people. Back to Bizarre and wander about and eat at Limelight, bidding adieu and falling exhausted into bed at 2:15 am.

SUNDAY, APRIL 6. Feeling better by 11 and wait for Len, but he doesn't show, so up to 125th in driving rain for Easter Mass and then back here to get collar stud and swap raincoats and uptown at 3 for Cosi Fan Tutte and dinner with dozen Canters. Back here with Harvey at 8 for me, then out to Rikers, meeting, again, Larry and Len, then for walk in park and back up with him and sleeping at 1.

MONDAY, APRIL 7. Wake at 6 in close proximity. Will be sorry to see him leave. He goes at 8:30, and I decide NOT to go to classes, especially midterm at QM at 10, so I answer letters and see Larry, when we go to claim my check and tour campus, then down to Menagerie and sideshow and three-ring Ringling Circus---greatest show on earth, with Atomic Cannon for finale. Back to Columbia when I answer Bruce's very nice letter, and wait for Chuck and Len sans luck. Supper and out to shop in Macy's and top of Empire State for two hours. Wander down and Forty-Second Street and eat in Hector's and home at 1, with this, and bed at 1:45, exceedingly tired, trading vacation with CLASS.

TUESDAY, APRIL 8. Jostled awake at 3 am by fire alarms and shouts in hall, fire on second floor---succeeded by talk with Chuck and Len at 4. Morning VERY tired, shower and class, then rush to Guilio Cesar to see Harvey off and a very touching farewell it was. Boat leaves and I walk back on 42nd and 8th and back up in time for supper with Larry and Chuck and down to "Courageous One" in Village. Back up early and to bed at 12:30.

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 9. This would be fine if I hadn't gotten up at 7 am to breakfast and rush down to tour the Queen Mary, before catching the morning show of "South Pacific" in Todd-AO, a true PICTURE of greatness. Then uptown, sans food, to Metropolitan Museum of Art, to rush through in four short hours. Back up and supper and change clothes then down to Cinemiracle, watching celebs come and Premiere and applaud loudly many times for "Windjammer" another Cinerama. $12.50 evening, paid by Larry, at the Downstairs Room, sustained by a great show by Julius Monk, and Ronny Graham. Stay till 2 and home to bed at 3:15. Tired?? More than.

THURSDAY, APRIL 10. Sleep till 10 am, latest in long time, send Larry off to UN and read New Yorker and newspaper for awhile, then come with drawings first time in long time. Meet Larry at Museum of Natural History and see it, and Hayden Planetarium and "Easter and Time." Up for supper and down to buy wine and pipe and ballet ticket and wander the Times Square area, "Look Homeward, Angel" flop in my book, and home on slow subway at 12, to bed at 1:15 am, Larry leaves at last.

FRIDAY, APRIL 11. Up at regular time for a change, and to regular classes for a change. For the first ones, they sure dragged out---thought they'd never end. Back up to fix room and arrange assorted things, putting everything in order after the monstrous amount of gala living. April 3-11 not ONCE over 7 hours sleep a night. Lunch on sandwiches and talk with Chuck and type from 4-7. Back up at 8 and type from 8-1, getting out only three letters, one a 3½ hour, 7 page tome to Laird, a record. Bed at 1:30 am.

SATURDAY, APRIL 12. One of the most fruitless days of my life following: up at 11, one till 11:30, out at 12, back at 1, read New Yorker and fix room and type letters until Ralph enters at 4, talk with him till 5, Chuck enters and play Scrabble till 6, out to supper till 7, then back to change and down to "Broken Jug" by von Kleist, until 11, trip back up till 11:30, Rikers till 12 (with luscious hot chocolate, ice cream and whipped cream and toasted danish), New Yorker till 12:30, bed at 1.

SUNDAY, APRIL 13. Another ungodly wasted day. Up at 9 and finish New Yorker, then start work on crossword puzzle in Sunday Times, and I have barely enough time to dress, catch a subway, and a cold ham sandwich and get to Martha Graham and her crew in "Seraphic Dialogue, Night Journey, and Embattled Garden" and back to write to Bruce, down to supper and talk with Doug, and up to struggle over a letter to Harvey, listening to Tchaikovsky's 5th and the "Voice in the Night" and study about 15 minutes of QM. Bed at 12:30 am, I MUST, MUST, MUST start to study, AFTER I call Ted and Arno and go to Philly to Bruce and Laird.

MONDAY, APRIL 14. Poverty struck 38 cents and a subway token, work done (all letters, that is) and loafing, that's me. Classes pass and I arrange jelly beans till lunch and fiddle with catalogues, then over to Grad Student's Lounge and read Time and Cue and Life, back to come and do absolutely nothing and see Chuck and call Julian and supper and class after hurriedly copying problems from George. After class (study? no!) over to Tim's to watch TV about dead, old show theatrical and Gracie Fields and her dress and Wallace Beery and sell tickets and talk and talk and hold hands and back and come at midnight, to bed at 12:30.

TUESDAY, APRIL 15. Up for class and stare out window and work puzzle and lunch and class and down to IBM and Applied Programming, taking CMI back and forth. Back up to study QM for 5 minutes and 1/2 Scrabble with Chuck and supper and "Romeo and Juliet" with Moira Shearer, John Barrymore, Leslie Howard, Basil Rathbone and Andy Devine. Also talked with Barlow and back at 11:30, bed at 12:30.

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 16. Up and classes as usual. Borrow $30 from Mrs. Miller, talk with Chuck and pay him back, read and puzzle Times and time for class, after which I come and fiddle till Chuck comes for 1/2 Scrabble and dinner and 1/2 Scrabble and I go down to "Man of Aran," a truly AWESOME nature vs. man film. Down to Lenny's and stand for hours and Don breaks my ice with Ralph, who I swear is French, then Pat and I start up and I finally get his number. On subway I talk with tall Texan and have chance for large trick, but I have a telephone call to make after 10 pm. Home and shower and bed at 4:45 am, dawn redding East.

THURSDAY, APRIL 17. Up at 10 and try to call Pat at 10:30, but no luck. Work puzzle as per usual and lunch and talk with Chuck, then down to Village to meet Ted, after watching hilarious rope jumpers. Up to 59th and read "Graveyard Reader" and wander through Park, to nice accompaniment, speaking of everything, and he "instructs" me in the life. Leave him begging me to call him---I cold. Up and supper and meet Chuck and Doug and Bob McCarl and trip to Fordham for "Intolerance," the spectacle of spectacles and all real, too. Down at 11:30 and Rikers and finish Graveyard at 1:15 and to bed.

FRIDAY, APRIL 18. Cut Math class and attend rest. Letter comes denying me summer work and I run around trying to get out of it all afternoon. Eat and pack and catch train for Philly at 7, getting in and meeting Laird at 8:45. Just plain talk with him for couple hours and meet Kip and Jim O'Brien (from Julian) and over to Charles' for little party and meet John and Ted Radzosak, very nice, back to Laird's and talk and snack and up to Bruce's to converse with us and Don Mavro till 2:30. Then to bed in bed, finally moving to sofa when Bruce and I get going good. Superb, sleep at 6.

SATURDAY, APRIL 19. Up at 8 and stay till 9, oh, so nice. Bruce goes off and John and Don and I read pornography and look at pictures and talk, just after they go, Laird enters and we go at it---then over to P.U. to Chem labs and rooftop and wander around campus. Off to see "Father, Son and Holy Ghost" [three-room house on three floors] getting introduced to dozens of people, remembering or wanting to remember few. Back at 5 to meet Bruce and dress for play, stopping in party at Charlie's and out to play juryman in "Inherit the Wind," while Bruce acted. Car back and to Dr. Marshall's party, where I meet about 100 more, including John Bailey. Monstrous party and many sly winks, but at 1:30 up to Bruce's, talk of theater and such until 2:30 and to bed again, getting to sleep fairly early.

SUNDAY, APRIL 20. Up at 10 feeling very relaxed and breakfast very nicely, then out to see the town, including Museum and Rodin and Philly in general. Back to Laird's to get news of ride back and up to Bruce's for chicken supper and records. After generous farewell I leave Bruce about 5:30 and leave with John and Don about 6. Drive relatively uneventful, but for conversation, and I get in about 9:30, get everything quickly in place, shower and to bed AT 10.

MONDAY, APRIL 21. Up for class and argument with Foley about Master's and up to room for Times and puzzle and get back from Larry and fix room up and type letters until 6:30, then down to eat and class. After over to Tim's, but he not home and call Pat and get "Wrong Number" bit and none at Bob's and Arno invites me down, where I meet Kelly and Bill Hyde and we talk and out to walk dog and Arno leaves and we talk and go to his place for Tiger's Milk and juice and record of earthquake and ionosphere and body body body. Talk loads and home at 2:30, bed at 3 am.

TUESDAY, APRIL 22. Class and get refused point blank by Serber and talk to Chuck and resolve to study and write letters and study about 10 minutes and lie down and call Bob Brown. Eat and up to change and down to see a spirited, gay, flamboyant film of Moiseyev Ballet troupe. Talk with Ralph and ride exceedingly slow subway, getting here at 12 and to bed at 12:30. STUDY tomorrow.

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 23. Classes and study minutely and read in Grad Student's Lounge for an hour before afternoon class. Mess around here and come and fiddle around with school plans and take off, after supper, to "By the Law," quite good, and "Arsenal," an inferior attempt to be as good as Potemkin. Talk with Ralph and over to Bob Brown's, to listen to Elsa Lancaster, talk of Riis Park and sex in general, then he gets out females, then mixed, then males, males, males, we talk till 4, I get home at 5:30 am, to BEAUTIFUL spring morning, with budding leaves and birds and wine-clear air. Talk with Alabama boy and almost, look at blond trade and almost, but to bed at 5:45, sleeping hard and short, and up at 10.

THURSDAY, APRIL 24. Study a bit and come a good many times and think of Bob's studies a long while, and lay down to toss and turn and soothe aching eyes for 2-3 hours. Study for about 2 hours and first time taking notes to supper. Up for more, read Bruce's letters five times and almost cry over beauty of Harvey's card. Van Am forum on Oriental Art takes one hour at 8, study until 10:30 and shower and sit and Chuck till 12 and listen to "Tristan and Isolde" until 1 am, Tres Fatiguee.

FRIDAY, APRIL 25. Up for classes and work puzzle and get down to studying, listening to records in between, till 6:30, when Chuck comes up, after which we play half-game of Scrabble, which he wins, no less, just to help get me disgusted with it, and he leaves at 8:30. I start studying again, and do quite a good job till 1 am, listening to music, too, then up to Chuck's and down to Riker's and to bed at 2 am.

SATURDAY, APRIL 26. Up at 10, nicely refreshed from 8 hours sleep. Breakfast discovers the Times, which in turn discovers two break-throughs in Physics---one to order the particles, the other a unified field equation needing a constant length. Oh, what I couldn't do with that pi/4 if I didn't have to study. I work puzzle and read paper, then down to talk with Chuck for over an hour, crying on his shoulder. Back up to study at 2:30. Doing fairly well till 4, down for a snack and up to study Penn catalogue. Chuck arrives at 5 for 1/2 Scrabble and down to supper, then I suggest a movie and we see "Wild is the Wind" and "Operation Mad Ball," both quite good, but quite long. Daylight savings creeps up and the movie is over at 2 and after Rikers, I get to bed by 3:30 am.

SUNDAY, APRIL 27. Up at 11 and fiddle around, studying a bit, then up for paper and out for brunch, back to listen to two hours of music, working the Sunday Times Puzzle---a complete waste. About 4:30 Roy calls and I say I have dinner date and call Ralph over. Roy wants us to come down, so Ralph and I go up and wait until he finishes ball game and then call him to tell him we're coming. We talk for an hour and leave, getting back at 9, after a grueling hour and a half on subways. Riker's makes us despondent, with all the attractive, sad people around and back to study for awhile, getting music and Midnight Story in, too. Bed at 1 am.

MONDAY, APRIL 28. Miss first class, fell asleep after alarm went off. Daylight savings time fouled me up. Two classes left and back to fiddle around and write letters. Lunch and letters and loafing and study short five minutes, to be optimistic. Get Mom's gift and wander around and other miscellany, including finishing Playbill display and once. Class again, after talking with Chuck and back to count up 5,000,000 items and figure minutely in Chauffer's guide. To bed at 1 am, tossing and turning and fidgeting and being generally miserable.

TUESDAY, APRIL 29. Get to sleep about 3:30 and get up early, too, to toss about. Up for class and try to see Bonilla and lunch and class and try to see Bonilla and read Life in Graduate lounge and again try to see Bonilla, but only seeing "Grapes of Wrath," not really worth all the fuss. Out at 7 and have rather glorious walk in junket only across rain-DRENCHED campus. Supper and up to study at 8. Sit and bemoan my fate for about an hour, but get down to QM and, aside from candy-getting and continual daydreaming, stop at 1 am. Bed about 1:15 pooped. (Not to mention applying for a library job).

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 30. Morning sees me flunking a QM quiz in great style and afternoon, even after studying it for a couple hours, finds me doing likewise with Metallurgy. Nothing daunted, I'm over to see Bonilla about summer and sit for an hour in Joe A's waiting for a haircut and catching up on magazines. Over to supper with Austin and sit for an hour, contemplating Lenny's and reading New Yorker, but then along with music, I stay till 1, caressing shower and parade and measure until 2:30 am. Good thing I can sleep late tomorrow. To IBM, too.

THURSDAY, MAY 1. Wake about 8 and toss comfortably till 10. Breakfast and call IBM to find Mr. Kopley gone---upstairs to work puzzle and listen to music and read New Yorker and bit of "Nonesuch" till lunch, when I watch them play tennis for a bit and talk to Chuck and ask check and talk to Joe for long while. Over to study more and down to supper and dress to go to opening of the Condon Riley Gallery with Maria Panett, meeting ALL sorts of people, including a princess and talking and cruising and getting involved and very loquacious with champagne and Sylvia. Stay there from 8:30 to 11:30, and I leave in a flash of cape and make big hit on subway getting in at 1 and to bed at 1:45.

FRIDAY, MAY 2. Up with very dry taste in mouth and sore eyes. Class passes and I spend QM hour in Graduate Lounge. More classes and get check and pay all bills and run errands for a couple hours. Lunch and repay Mrs. Miller and talk with Chuck and back to lounge to knock elbows with Russian donors. Back to fix room, play 1/2 Scrabble with Chuck and then over to Earl Hall to hear Bampton Lectures on "Individual, Family and Society," then to Tim's and down to "Shoe Shine" and "Story of Mexico," by Eisenstein. Out late and walk back, talking of childhood movies, to Rikers and back, to bed at 2 am.

SATURDAY, MAY 3. Awake at 8 and 10, but lay abed till 11, doing once and up to breakfast (lunch) and fiddle with button drawer while listening to music and staring out window. Decide to study at 2:30, but at 3 down for a paper and off to "Marjorie Morningstar" and "Bolero," a fantastic stage show, meeting Mike Sheppard and Jim Horton. Out to "She-Demons" and "Man from the Dead" on 42nd, back to talk to two of them and drive down to Village, taking an hour to find gas and a parking spot and down McDougal to the Bizarre and talk with Claire and Phyllis, then up to 8th and down 4th and back to car, desirably "Butch." No room at John Jay, so over they go to King's Crown, while I fall exhausted to bed at 3:15 am.

SUNDAY, MAY 4. Out of bed at 10:30 and at 10:31 the buzzer buzzes and I go down and they inspect room, have breakfast and mope around till literally leap then to Museum of Natural History and Planetarium, which I pay for and get some free tickets back. Back up and eat and talk hours and hours to Barlow and tear umbrella apart and decorate room with it and eat some more and down to Lenny's writing like mad. Back up at 1:45 and shower and collapse again at 2:30 am.

MONDAY, MAY 5. Classes drag awfully slowly and back up to read paper and work puzzle and down to lunch. Back up to type a half dozen letters, talk to Joe, and down to supper, after copying Nuclear Engineering, handily copped from George. Reactors passes, along with a half-hour of binoc staring, after which I toddle over to Tim's and talk for an hour then over to Prexy's for malted and talk and back to room at midnight. Type more letters till 1 and get to bed at 1:30.

TUESDAY, MAY 6. Stagger over to class in rain and back to do tiny bit in Engineering and lunch and make appointment with Havens and go to class and see Elrod and back here to mope about and study E&M and out again in rain to "Crime and Punishment" at SAC movies. Supper over and talk on phone to Bill Hyde, surprisingly enough saying no to him at 10, after I lay for about two hours. Moan about fate to Barlow for an hour, completely wasting time, then back over, still kicking myself, for another hour of E&M. Quit at midnight and to bed by 12:30, have to start watching sleep in preparation for those blasted finals.

WEDNESDAY, MAY 7. Toss and turn until about 2 and finally drag off to sleep, getting awake at 7 and tossing and turning some more, but up tired. Classes and tell George and Vic no Metallurgy class, so there better not have been one. Get cleaning put away and talk to Chuck for 10 minutes and study and listen to music until Chuck comes at 6 and we supper and Scrabble and down to "N.Y.," "Dance of Shells," "Every Day Except Christmas," "Mukhinese Battle Horn," and "Mambo" with Ralph and Dory all talking in Automat and slides. Doug and Chuck and I in Rikers, then over to read New Yorker and come until 2:30, when I shower, to bed at 3 am.

THURSDAY, MAY 8. Up at 9 to get to Havens at 10 to find I should see him at 11. Breakfast and Havens and talk with Bolton and over to Bonilla for a good hour of negotiations. Back to study and lunch and study fairly steadily, when not coming, looking out windows, or finishing New Yorker or fiddling with letters. Supper and then Chuck comes up for 1/2 Scrabble and look to study, starting EN problems. Study till 11:30, exercise, off to shower and get a semi-hard watching lovely fellow. Leave door open after, but nothing happens and I shut it at 12:20, when I crawl in bed.

FRIDAY, MAY 9. Again I toss and turn and go to john and drink water till 2:15 and wake up at 7, 'tis most discouraging. Classes and long letter from Bruce, which I answer with even a longer one, which, including two other shorties and watching the Naval ceremonies on the College Walk and binocularating everyone, lasts till 6. Study for a bit, then down to supper and up to study, listening to 45 minutes of music and day dreaming SOME, but study through till 12, shower and get to bed at 12:45.

SATURDAY, MAY 10. Up in time at 10 for breakfast, and back up to study, which I do fairly successfully until 2, when it's down to lunch and back up to study, washing socks and staring for about three hours in all out at "Spring Carnival" being erected on College Walk. Study all while and at 7 call Bill Hyde, who agrees to come down at 9:30. I wash, eat, shower, and meet him at 9, and we come up to talk for about half an hour, watching festivities from the window, then festivities of our own get started, but I'm quite worried about a loose valve which prevents pressure building. At 11 we hear drawing for car and he comes at 2 we decide enough is quite enough. Out to West End for a burger and a beer and I walk him to 110th Street. So nice. Get to bed at 4 after sitting, chilly, on empty stage watching death and rag-picking of SC. Weird.

SUNDAY, MAY 11. Up at 12, only 8 hours sleep and stupidly come once, moping around until 1:30, when I go eat at Riker's, taking Barlow along and we talk for two hours in all, and I borrow News Play notes and read it until about 4:30, looking out window, natch, and then get down to study till 7:30, eat till 8, and study, listening only a bit to music and Midnight Screamer, until 12:30. Shower and go to bed at 1, lamenting much yet to do.

MONDAY, MAY 12. Up for class and study (study heck, write letters and get cards written and listen to music), then lunch and Times, first time in ages and get down to study and get nowhere in Electro and finish Reactors in time for supper and class. Poke about after, but get to work about 9:45 and QM until 11:30, then on to Elect notes until 12:30, and 1, exercise till 1:30 and take shower, getting to bed at 2 am. My wits may be deceiving me, but my exercises have been doing some good, my chest especially. Here's hoping I grow quite a bit. Must get FOOD up here though---something to grow ON.

TUESDAY, MAY 13. Up for class and back to study just a bit, then lunch and class, after which I proceed to Graduate Lounge to read until all of 4, getting ticket in time for "Paura" and "Lavender Hill Mob" (with Audrey Hepburn) at SAC movies. Back to stare out window for a bit and supper, after which I study about 1/2 hour and lay down until Chuck plays half Scrabble and I up to hear music and down to read New Yorker, until Doug calls at 12 to pay last respects, leaves at 1, when I shower and pinch and bed 1:45.

WEDNESDAY, MAY 14. Class till 12, window gaze till 12:30, study till 1, music till 2, lunch and Times till 3, class till 5, puzzle till 6, study till 6:30, supper from 7-7:45, New Yorker till 8:30, music till 9, music till 10, study till 10:30 (copying QM problems), back at yearbook till 11:30, exercise till 12, shower till 12:30, squeeze myself, measure, pose and pull hairs and develop hickeys for myself until 1, wugh. Clipped toenails and picked feet. Miscellaneous odds and ends and bed at 1:30, having studied just precisely one hour all day, good record low.

THURSDAY, MAY 15. Whoops, studied one more hour, goody for me, bed at 2:15 am. Up at 10 for breakfast and study a bit, after reading 4 lovely letters. Study, window gaze and music listen till 2, lunch and New Yorker and back to the books. At 6:15 Chuck enters for 1/2 Scrabble, supper, and then back up to discuss our putting $500 each in a tenement, live there free, fix it up and become rich. I figure maybe to live there this summer, anyway, for $45 a month. Study and shower and bed 12:30.

FRIDAY, MAY 16. Last day of classes, and I boo Foley, applaud Townes, and sit deathly still for Kroll. Study and music and stare and down to lunch, afterwards over to type out last year's exams and compare notes with Joe and get hit in head with Elihu's coat. Back down to library to talk with Chuck about Roulette and over to study a little bit till Chuck plays me 1/2 Scrabble, we dine and try to figure something to do. Back down to study and exercise and talk to Barlow and shower and loaf about, getting to bed at 1:30. No more classes this semester. Feels good.

SATURDAY, MAY 17. Alarm at 8:30 and up at 10, having readied to write movie scripts. Down to breakfast and get to sink at 11, dreaming of Bill and window-looking until 12:30, when I write letters to Harvey and down to lunch at College Inn, walking back slowly, to savor the splendor of the spring sun. Study on and off, mostly on, thank goodness, till 7:15 and Bill calls. I eat hot dogs and papaya juice and get there for banana bread and wheat germ in peach juice. We subway to show, walk around block and sit in lounge and see "Hatful of Rain" and "Three Faces of Eve," a great double. Walk back talking and get at it about 1:30 and at it and at it and at it until 3:15, when I dress and walk home through sex-laden park. To bed at 4:15.

SUNDAY, MAY 18. Awake about 10, out of bed at 12:15, coming, blast it, and uncomfortably, too. Fiddle till down to lunch at 1:15, snubbing big-nosed Red and up at 2, talking to Barlow for an hour and getting in in time to talk to Ralph for two hours, reading paper after and getting one hour done before supper at Rikers. Back at 7:30 to listen to music and window gaze till 9, then study till 11, when row out window becomes fierce and I sit for an hour in darkened room, binocularating all the people across the way. Exercise and shower and bed at 2:15.

MONDAY, MAY 19. Must study tomorrow. Up at 10, up from breakfast at 11, study and window look till 1, eat, study and window look till 5, when I do reactor problem, eat supper and over to "Review," getting back at 8 and down to study at 8:30. Study until 12:15 and listen to 15 minutes of music, shower, come and get to bed at 1:30, having stared out window a total of about 2 hours and studied about 6. Not TOO awfully bad.

TUESDAY, MAY 20. Up at 10 and start studying from 11-2. Down to bring sandwiches up and listen to music and stare out window when I decide to go to show. Over to Chuck and down to see "Confessions of Felix Krull" with Franz Buchholtz, and "Cast a Dark Shadow," a good double. Rush like crazy back for dinner and watch people through hall up side of Hartley Hall for an hour and a half---till 9, when I listened to Highet on Eliot and Eisenhower on money until 10. Study till 1 fairly steadily and up at 6 to dive into books for QM test.

WEDNESDAY, MAY 21. Cut off for breakfast and back up until 11:30, when it's over to lunch and get a second chance in Metallurgy. Study a smidgeon and then sit, more dead than alive and writing, through an impossible three hour QM final which I couldn't help but flunk. Just know I did. Up to room to mope till 5:30, and type letters till 6:30 and window look, but Chuck comes and we eat and I back to room for an hour of puzzle, window, and fiddling until Chuck and I go to see "M," the last of Cinema 16, with Peter Lorre. Back up to Rikers till 12:30, New Yorker till 2 and shower and scratch teeth and back and come until all of 3 am.

THURSDAY, MAY 22. Up at 10:15, feeling not too badly, but shaky. Breakfast and study, lunch and write off many little letters, read quite a bit of New Yorker, and fiddle about looking out window. Most of the time it seems I sit in my chair, book open in front of me, and WISH that the tests were over, DREAM about what I'm going to do after they're over, and HOPE I pass some of them. Profitable time-wasting. Supper and find old copy of Sunday Tribune Movie section, read it, and back to studying. Things get fascinating about 11 pm, stop, shower and pinch and poke teeth, then study in a frenzy until 1:15, setting clock for 7 am.

FRIDAY, MAY 23. Which I fear, and look over problems, eat, and study a bit more. It's a good test and very easy, but I make stupid mistakes, but get a few right. I MAY hope. Lunch with George and then talk with him and over to Lounge to read until 3:30, back to room to fuss until 4:30. Study a tiny bit until 7, eat supper and back up to study, but listen to music for hour and study an hour and decide to go to bed early, to make up for the total of 18 hours sleep in three nights and raucous days---not nearly enough. Need 10 to catch up, so I get to bed at 11:15.

SATURDAY, MAY 24. Having read New Yorker and munched 1/6 box of graham crackers. Up wondrously refreshed at 9:30, having indeed slept 10 hours, down to breakfast and up to study, getting, in all, 40 pages, or 8 hours worth down in E&M. Seeing it should have been 11 hours, it's so-so. Laid for an hour and ate lunch longly and dinner at Rikers with Chuck and 1/2 Scrabble and listen to about two hours of music and staring out window a share of the time, not to mention doctoring a tooth that suddenly got bulbously bloody and bleeding to boot. Rather disgusted with studying and get to bed at 12:45. What a day coming!

SUNDAY, MAY 25. Up at 9 and watch fog billow over College Walk, covering even Low Library. Down to breakfast at 11:30 and up to study a bit, but not getting too awfully much done. Start talking with Barlow and give out some of Cesira's cookies and Ralph enters at 4, and we talk about religion, sex, psychiatry, psychology, morals and good and evil until 8, when we walk out and I tell him it's quits. Back up to read Times and talk more to Barlow and play Chuck WHOLE Scrabble and listen to Midnight Reader and he tells me way to not BREAK, but insure steady income from roulette for life. Sounds too good to be true and it probably is. To bed at 2:45, very tired, but as yet relatively unstudied.

MONDAY, MAY 26. Up at 10:15 and breakfast till 11 and study till 1, when Tchaikovsky's Fifth takes over. Lunch and up to study and window gaze only a bit and mentally moan quite a bit, until an indigestible supper at a hostile table with McKusky and a 2½ hour test that was alternately frightening and enjoyable---maybe I did well. Up to look blankly at E&M and listen to Cliburn's encores and just fool around until I shower and come and get to bed at 1 am. Only ONE day of poor study left.

TUESDAY, MAY 27. Up at 9 and finish eating and staring out window at 11. Study till 2, down to lunch and over to look at previous E&M tests and waste time in general. Back up to twist and turn and window look and study, down to supper and back to sit and dream and listen to music and try not to study, but study until about 1. To bed with a horrid case of insomnia and get to sleep about 2:30 after coming.

WEDNESDAY, MAY 28. Alarm rings at 6 and I wake with a start at 6:45. Study in earnest for while and down to stomach-wrenching breakfast and over to a mind-twisting test that lasts over five hours, from 9:10 to 2:25. Stagger out and talk to Chuck and get haircut and sort of dazedly moan about, happy to be only one test away from freedom. Study about a half hour and call Bill and meet him at 110th in the rain, walk along the river and up to his place to see his stamps, his Japanese pornography, and his Radio Moroccan stamps, as well as see a five-minute goodbye rivaling anything. Get here at 11, listen to music, exercise, shower, and to bed at 12:30. Correction: after four times, crazy, 1 am.

THURSDAY, MAY 29. Up at 10 and breakfast and study fairly steady till 12:30, and over to take ambivalent test, talk disgustedly to Melese, whom I won over to my point of view and lunched, bought glasses and "Twilight Men" which I read---discouraging. Typed letters and Bill came at 8:30, and we went to Prexy's for supper and back here for time of my life. Such a loverly relationship. Sit up with New Yorkers till 2:30 waiting for Laird's call and to bed at 3 am.

FRIDAY, MAY 30. Roused at 10 am by Laird's call, fiddle around till he arrives at 11, then we're off down to the Village to see the Art Show, up to buy tickets to LHA [expanded 8/03 to Look Homeward Angel], DATTOTS [expanded 8/03 to Dark At The Top Of The Stairs], and LBIN [expanded 8/03 to Look Back in Anger---who SAYS I can't remember!], what a trio. Down to Lorca's "Blood Wedding" and up to College Inn for supper and he leaves and I tackle letters, typing until midnight, reading New Yorker and coming, then to bed at 1.

SATURDAY, MAY 31. Up at 9:30 and type till 11:30, when my stomach drives me down to College Inn for eternal ham omelet. Get call from Bill Hindter inviting me to dinner at Downey's, so I get all slicked up at 1 pm and subway down to 59th, walking all over 10th and 9th Avenues looking for cheap clothes, then into 15 swank stores looking for Bermudas. Walk for hours and walk in and walk out of Downey's---four at a table. Back up to call Bill and we discuss what to do and walk in the park and he talks and I talk, then down to Seven Steps and Lenny's, both very quiet, then invitation to 48 Horatio Street, which turns out to be a very horrible party, with Red there, as a topper. Leave quickly and back up, getting to bed at 3.