1989 3 of 4
6/24/89: Dream to reverie to fantasy to dreams to book-planning. So I guess I transcribe it into the NOTEBOOK section? DREAM started with an essay test: we were six columns of eight students each, and the teacher directed that we break into TWO rooms of six columns each, four students in every other seat. I was in the last seat in the right column, so I didn't have to move (I don't know where the "alternate" students went). She passed out a red test and a blue test, all essay questions. The red test had four questions, but since I didn't get that one, I don't know where we were to answer all four questions briefly, or to choose one to answer completely. I just know that the blue test had one question, something like "How would you question this person in order to find if he or she were qualified for some particular job (programming?)?" I figured the main thing was to write with LARGE letters so that my writing could be READ. Then I "guided" the dream into brief questions that I could choose to answer the way I wanted to answer, but possibly I was awake already at about 9:45AM. That led to a REVERIE about my slides, and I thought of all the slides of animals, trees, flowers, mountains, people, waterfalls, naked men, sights from plane-windows, amusement parks, Buddhist shrines, temples, skyscrapers, tombs, and ended in a a FANTASY about ordering these with MUSIC so that the "Ode to Joy" would blast out with the contrails over the Alps and the peaks of the Dolomites, mystical music for caves and cathedrals (interesting: aren't they NEGATIVES of each other?!)(specifically: cathedrals are the VOLUMES OF STONE that are the VOLUMES OF AIR IN STONE CAVES), and I DREAMED of presenting this to friends who would influence me into nightclubs and into theaters like Spaulding Gray's "Swimming to Cambodia" only with slides and wonderful music to add to the reveries and moods. In here was a REVERIE about my ideas for a presentation on "What would be destroyed in an atom-blast of a city?" starting with meticulously organized linen drawers by anal-compulsive housemaids, painstaking miniature villages by model-railroad entusiasts, comic-book collections, items like my condensed-music collection, my condensed-tragedy clips on VCR tape, my male-nude slide collection---and THIS section of the reverie was interspersed with thoughts of what will happen to all this as I get VERY much older, have to move into more limited quarters, and get rid of things bit by bit as I'm condensed into an SRO apartment when I'm 105, surrounded by the CREAM of my life, and then the bottle is broken. thought again of the paintings with meticulous landscapes and people: the van Eycks and Breughels with whole civilizations in single paintings, the apotheoses of Grunewald and Raphael, the intricacies of Tchilechev and Jackson Pollock, the sculptures from Michaelangelo to Marisol, the stamp collections that are fruits of literal YEARS of hours of work, the slide collections and souvenirs not only from MY apartment but from the one apartment in a hundred or even a thousand that has a collection MORE complete than mine. The lovingly-produced photo albums, record albums, tape collections, slide collections, book collections---not to mention the unique books on the shelves of the Morgan Library, the special collections of the New York Public Library, the black works in the Shomberg collection, the Spanish works in Harlem, the Arabic works in the mosque in Queens. This continued until I went into more detailed BOOK images of describing the introduction in my fantasy-Actualism of "giving the shop away" by not only introducing them to the white light, but breaking it down from the upper room into the spectrum for the centers, giving a touch of the SPECIALIZED flavor of the work: the cosmic father in C3, the wisdom in C4, the creativity in C5, the good will in C6, the soothing in C7, the healing in C9, the warrior in C9, the Gordian Knot in C0, the regenerativity in C10, the generativity in C11, the Joys in lower centers, the Cosmic Mother and the Subtle Warrior below the feet. Then I translated it into the tone-frequencies of my "book" analogy: thinking of how to describe the special tone-generators with finely tuned oscillators that produce the seven-interval "scales" in such a way that ALL the doubles, triples, quadruples, and higher multiples of tones ALL make harmonious chords and blends of sounds that SYMBOLIZE the energy contained, and how the introduction to THAT work IS a miniature taste of ALL the work that's done in detail, and it becomes immediately appealing to the person experiencing it, so that they WANT to buy the machine, but need the personalized classes in order how to USE the machine, because without assistance there is the PROVEN ability for the tones of the machine to cause madness, depression, anxiety, fear, and suicidal thoughts, so that the workings have to be LICENSED and keys can be LOCKED so that there is no possibility of playing particular chords until they're "released" by the teachers. And those who try to analyze the circuitry end in horrible ways, so that it's self-evidently clear that you don't want to try it yourself, because the punishments aCTUALIZED in the tones become greater and greater---and one of the sub-plots could be a mad genius who DOES insist on going his own way, resisting greater and greater subtleties of LOW-frequency in order to blaze his OWN trail through, and he finds a set of SUB-frequencies that enable OTHER powers not in the original set, and NOW my brain is perking with other possibilites that were NOT in the fantasies or reveries this morning, and I now have to finish up because it's 10:40AM and I have to eat breakfast and get out to the subway by 11:30AM to meet Spartacus for the day at Coney Island, for which I'm taking my camera, which LEAD to the reveries that I experienced laying in bed this morning, not knowing where to type this because the dreams led into LUCID dreaming with the SPECIFIC answers to the questions that I KNEW, and i almost debated coming up with another division of writing with this piece, just as I would have to if I ever actually got to OOBs, and I realize that I'm writing chain-of-thought now just to get to the bottom of the page so I can print it out and not have to worry about going back and printing the rest of the page some other time, and I want to blow my nose and dress and put up the shades and get ready to go out, and there's only two lines to go, and I don't even have to do any more than type the next few words and I'm FINISHED.
7/1/89: DREAMS:7/1/89 actually ends with NOTEBOOK-STUFF from today, see THAT.
7/2/89: Woody Allen's "Another Woman" ends with Gina Rowlands' feeling a "mixture of wistfulness and hope. And I wondered if a memory is something you have or something you've lost. I feel at peace." I told Dennis that I liked the film, but that I didn't understand that penultimate sentence: at the very least it should have been "OF something you've lost."
7/3/89: Keep trying to catch up: still hoping to get to throwing out old indexes after catching up with Actualism entries, notebook entries, and letters. The PRESSURE to write about the LIES of the scientific, medical, and governmental authorities grows. While watching the series on "Surgery" on Channel 13, they talk about how everyone used to HAVE to have their tonsils removed in a surgical operation, whereas nowadays hardly ever is the operation performed. Then hysterectomies used to be given to about half the women, and now the operation is frowned upon. Radical mastectomies used to be "the" operation for breast cancer; now they're replaced with milder lumpectomies. One wonders if circumcision is still being done as a matter of course, or whether it's gone the way (I hope, for WOMAN'S sake) of the clitoridectomy. Of course physicists used to think that ATOMS were basic, then they had to switch to insist that PROTONS were basic, and now they're saying that QUARKS are basic, but no one can ever tell for sure. "Science" had insisted that asbestos was safe, that coal mining wasn't connected with pneumoconiosis, that atomic radiation was "acceptable" for military troops to operate in, and they're probably still insisting that Agent Orange was harmless, that microwaves are still OK, and that CRT's don't give off damaging radiation. Geographers used to insist that the world was flat, that there was no such thing as plate tectonics, and that catastrophes didn't take place on an "evolutionary" planet. Now we know better, but that doesn't stop MODERN "experts" from insisting that they're right and that ANY new ideas are wrong. But then progress isn't always progress: the Supreme Court might overturn Roe v. Wade and make women operate illegally to get abortions, and gays' hard-won "freedoms" might be overthrown yet. Grumbled that the rich are still rich as they were during the French Revolution in all the films being shown now, and the "middle class" is going out of style as the poor keep getting poorer and the rich are so outrageously wealthy that they spend hundreds of dollars on a bottle of wine, millions on an apartment in Manhattan (one of dozens of "pied a terres" for those who don't REALLY have their feet on the earth and DO have their heads on the clouds, which might AGAIN turn into guillotines to chop-chop them off-off. I'm comfortable, but somewhat LESS comfortable when I added up the interest charges I owe Spartacus and find them to be in excess of $1000 for my $8500 loan back in February of 1988. And still the check from McGraw-Hill hasn't come in, so it'll be after the holiday and I'll be sweating more about it yet. Now I have to catch up the medical listings with all my latest results, write a letter to Tom (who hasn't phoned me yet, though it's not quite two months and clearly his wrists aren't totally healed yet), John Terrell, and Mike Mao, who sent me a packet of programs from his Dance Express company, saying that Madge is in Boulder, and I'll want to find if it's temporary or permanent. Then I'll get rid of the indexes, plan for the rest of the week in catching up with galleries I want to see, get in a few more restaurants, go the two indexes that I have to finish, and then I'll be seeing what I'll be doing next---obviously leaving WRITING off to the end of everything, because I DO want to start a FORMAL set of exercises for out-of-body experiences, and then go over the past-life therapy to edit them on Spartacus's machine---and I'd wanted to GET to Pope's today to see what Spartacus had for me to watch on TV, and I'll never get through with ANY of this in time to go to the gym (today's the "open" day between two closed days yesterday and tomorrow) and phone Joe about tonight, and at least I've got many of these pages caught up with!
7/4/89: Again, lots of NOTEBOOK stuff recorded in DREAMS:7/4/89.
7/7/89: Again, lots of NOTEBOOK stuff recorded in DREAMS:7/7/89.
7/12/89: "BUSY FRIDAY" (as noted on ACTUALISM:7/12/89): Dennis came up at 10:30 to watch the Harold Clurman program, and I'd planned to do "some" things in town that escalated into a MARATHON: I had a $2200 check to deposit in the bank and an $810 index to drop into the express-mail box, and I had garbage to take down and laundry to pick up and I was at the CORNER before it dawned on me that I wanted to take clippings and tapes back to Spartacus and the tape of "The Offence" to Pope, and I'd FORGOTTEN them. When I went back up to get them, there was a message from Dennis that he wanted to take the Group Theatre tape to Sherryl's, so I took that down to HIM with the rest of the stuff that I had to pick up. Since I was going into town for Actualism tonight, I had to take my tape-list and date-list (though I really didn't expect to see any other people I hadn't given the list of dates to ALREADY), not to mention the restaurant list since I wanted to stop at Mamma Leone's for lunch, which I wanted to make as early as possible since I was meeting Vicki at Primeburger on 51st between Madison and Fifth (provided it was still THERE) at 5:10PM when she got off work, in enough time for me to walk back to Actualism by 6:30), AND my check for the evening's tape (which I couldn't make out for $30 even though we heard a new tape, since I only had $29.16 BALANCE in my checking account), AND enough subway tokens for the day. Tried to tell Dennis and Pope about the ELABORATENESS of the day, but got bored with my OWN words so quickly that I didn't finish with either. But the day was LATE so that I got into Mamma Leone's at 1:30 and ordered a fritatta (with good mushrooms and meat but poor EGGS) and a glass of white wine and a tirami su dessert, getting out by 2:05, feeling full. Then over to the west end of 43rd before people at UPS directed me back between 10th and 11th Avenues across from the soda-can redemption center for the New York Public Library that had the microfilms of the New York Journal-American from the 40s so that I could look to find the Phantom episode about the wall of fire around the lake, and looking at the characters it occurs to me that it might have more likely been MANDRAKE than the Phantom, but it's sad because the Sunday supplements aren't microfilmed in COLOR, and there are only 2 weeks on each reel of film, so I looked through the first half of 1946 and then went to Jan 1 and June 1 of 1947, 1948, and 1949 by 3:30, which I decided was enough botheration of the clerk getting the microfilms, and walked out into the ENORMOUS heat to decide to BYPASS the Museum of Broadcasting to see if they had a copy (which they probably wouldn't let me copy ANYWAY) of the 1974 ACT production of "Taming of the Shrew" with the body-sexy Marc Singer, and up to the Merrin Gallery which is in the Crown Building, but with only 12 pieces on display and the tiny Hercules was $185,000, and I later see that the exhibition is CONTINUING. Then to the IBM Gallery for the Pennsylvania collection but get into the movie on "Egypt" which I'd seen before at 4:05 and sat until it was over at 4:55 and then dashed down to Primeburger to wait for Vicki until 5:20, and the hamburgers are very SMALL and they still give only ONE relish, but the milkshakes were good. Then walk through the heat up to Actualism as noted before. Had a similar sensation of FULLNESS while watching "Napoleon," with its oft-repeated message that you can do WHATEVER YOU REALLY WANT TO DO, and I went back to castigate myself for not writing with the free time that I now have, and WHY was it I couldn't find a close sexual personal relationship in all these years of "looking," (namely, was it because I wasn't doing it DEMANDINGLY enough?). There was so much to SEE, and so much to HEAR, and I was overtired so I kept nodding out, and then there was the symphonic music that Coppola borrowed for the sound-track, the images of the battles, the wonder of whether France was going to celebrate ALL the events of the revolution through the next decade, and I wrote myself a note to write this page, which I've now done, and another box of printer-paper is coming to a end.
7/14/89: THEORY OF EVERYTHING by F. David Peat, about 35 in room by 7:32PM, overfull room that I entered at 7PM to get front-center seat for blackboard. He's a PhD from Liverpool who's written 11 books, many OFF Physics. He starts at 7:43PM: spent time with Penrose, praises David Bohm for his work on quantum mechanics and twistors and the infinite ground of implicate order. He met Dirac and Heisenberg. QM says "Only math; no pictures." Scattering matrix takes energy and particles in and gives energy and particles out. He asks if particles may be RESONANCES. "Particles" assume "points in space," but STRINGS vibrate and form nodes that may LOOK like particles to our instruments. Y. Nambu, a Japanese, proposed strings in 50s. You must make strings 1) quantized in which case points might be secondary---only the INTERSECTION of two WORLD LINES. If a string moves through time, its generated surface must be the most economical. Pauli was devastated when he found that the universe PREFERRED left-handedness. SUPERstrings need SUPERsymmetry to calculate. Grand Unified Theories were played with unsuccessfully even into the 80s. Michael Greene and Schwartz found that strings could be written in only ONE way (as superstrings) and the mathematics WORKED. M. Greene: "A beautiful theory WITHOUT any basis." Peat suggests that it might work as a DREAM map. If a CLOSED (like a loop) string moves through time it forms a WORLD TUBE, which is VARIALBE with quantum fluctuations, so that IN TIME "one" particle could make (and vanish) MANY particles. (see note-drawing):
"This must be expressible in 10-dimensional space. Edward Witten is famous for Formula Theory, a thinker in superstrings, who says it MUST be 10-D to WORK. Pauli divided particles into fermions (electrons, protons, gamma rays) and bosons (photons, gravitons, which are VECTORS). (Pauli called this "an archetypal dance.") Heterotic strings: postulate FERMIONS move in CLOCKWISE direction around string in 10 dimensions, while bosons move COUNTERCLOCKWISE around string in 16 dimensions, all of them independent, so there are 26 dimensions. Mandelbrot's fractals QUESTION our fixed ideas of integral dimensions. Compactification goes to infinities. If four dimensions are EXTENDED in our universe, the others remain "balled up" within. EXPANDING universe BREAKS symmetry among the dimensions. Two strings ON a donut aren't symmetric with two strings AROUND the donut:
In a theoretical ORBIFOLD, there are THREE nonsymmetric types, on PEAKS:
10-31 seconds for new powerful smallest particle. NOW:Black hole collapse UNTIL vibrating string, NOT to a singularity. "Shadow" universes have DIFFERENT forces, so there's NO interaction with our universe. But in quantum perturbations, they COULD interact. "Universe may be quantum perturbation of ONE string." Twistors get to the level BELOW these, per Penrose. Penrose wrote "Emperor's New Clothes" for consciousness. "Earth and Jupiter and sun (in part) are being powered by cold fusion." REALLY??? Most symmetric figures contain LEAST information. Most-broken symmetries convey GREAT information. Someone proved some basic physical process impossible in MORE than 3-D of space in the last year. Twistors stem from Penrose triangle (impossible figure); they can be drawn in pieces but they can't connect. Penrose: the universe is built of POINTS. Spinors in QM are 1/2 and -1/2, so you can build a network of bistates. Twistors had ANGLES, but not distances or TIMES. Twistors are RAYS ---having a TWIST, like DNA, like infinite rays of light. [I order two Bohm books on "End of Time" and "Science Order and Creativity."] If twistors cross, forming a point, a point is a RICH THING. Twistor-space leads by PATCHES to space-time. "Not-quite-fitting" patches cause CURVATURE in space-time. Intersection of twistors is a POINT in spacetime. Superstrings built of twistors. Twistors "describe" left-handedness and right-handedness. Double- slit experiment PHOTOGRAPHED by Japanese during last year, interference from single particles. Penrose says photon IGNORES apparatus because the PARTICLE sees a DIFFERENT space than WE do. Peat/Bohm's new book "Order Between." Peat: we're NOT getting to "basic equations." Trouser-diagrams: particles SPLIT and MERGE. Universe is ONE superstring with"All possible handles on it."
Peat: Could a symphony be a model of the universe? Peat: Physics must CLOSE: Phoenix = Kundalini = universe = ouroboros (in and out). Bohm wrote "Wholeness and the Implicate Order, Routledge and Kegan Paul, 1980. Witton invented term cohomology. I asked 4 questions: 1) Anyone seriously writing/working on Einstein (non-Copenhagen) interpretation? And he says "Bohm." 2) Rishons pursued, and he doesn't even KNOW about them, saying everyone's on the superstring bandwagon. 3) Anything NOW on Wheeler's pregeometry, and he thinks Penrose, who worked with Wheeler, could have based twistors on that, and he also mentions Wheeler's Prelogic, which I hadn't heard about. 4) Compactification IS down to Planck length of 10-33, but that was chosen ARBITRARILY, and ther's nothing in the theory to correspond to Planck TIME, so it's not that good. HIS questions are 1) IS there simplicity OR complexity (really Penrose's question), 2) WHY 3D space and 1D time, and 3) WHY are the dimensions seemingly 2/4/10/16/26?? Lotto winning numbers?
7/24/89: NOTES FROM RIORDAN: HUNTING OF THE QUARK (Simon & Schuster Touchstone Book copyright 1987, BPL 539.721R, got out 7/18/89, returned 8/2/89). Read 7/24
38: psi is an abstract mathematical entity with no concrete reality of its own. It represents the POTENTIAL of something to be found in a specific place at a given time. "The probability funciton does not in itself represent the course of events in the course of time," warned Heisenberg. "It represents a tendency for events and a knowledge of events." Tendency becomes reality when we make a measurement." This is all rather SILLY, I say!! "Heisenberg again: "The transition from the 'possible' to the actual takes place during the act of measurement." Total nonsense, I say.
39: "Reality" is neither subjective nor objective, but INTERACTIVE. Subatomic reality is a lot like that of a rainbow, whose position is devined only relative to an observer. NICE analogy! "Like the rainbow, a subatomic particle becomes fully "real" only through the process of measurement."
58: "Today, the "size" of the electron is known to be less than 10-16 centimeter, or a thousandth the diameter of a proton."
65: "In addition to orbiting a nucleus, electrons rotate about their own internal axis---as do all subatomic particles." I again wonder whether the combination of the two isn't a moving sine wave, as a photon is supposed to be.
79: "An average resonance lifetime of about 10-23 second, or about the time it takes light to flash across a proton." This HAS to be SOMETHING ELSE!
114. Milliken could have observed a "charge on the drop some 30% lower than the final value of e. COULD he have observed a 2/3 charged quark?
191: "The ultimate locus of reality was to be found in FORM, not substance."
217: These are all PARTICLE tracks---whatever happened to the WAVE-behavior??
247: "Electrons behaved like point charges...down to the level of 10-14 cm.
289: Physical Review Letters "Editor George Trigg had a stern policy of re- jecting papers when the same results had already been announced in newspapers"!
305: All about Glashow, but even HIS book wasn't that great.
311: "EIGHT heavy new particles"---when he means states of PAIRS of particles!!
312: "Hadrons" when they're excited states of two quarks bound together.
324-5: "Capra's The Tao of Physics...ten years out of date when PRINTED."
340: The color force attracts ITSELF!! Interesting NEW fact!!
348: "Quarks were "things," in every sense of the word." Not WAVES???!!!
362. He at least MENTIONS HArari's rishon theory. Book ENDS in 1979, with ONE statement from 1983 on page 364, really an EXPERIMENTALISTS book, not THEORIES!
7/26/89: Read and NOTES FROM KAKU: BEYOND EINSTEIN: The Cosmic Quest for the Theory of the Universe, about Superstrings, BPL 530.142K, Bantam New Age Paperback March 1987. I don't think it's worth BUYING a copy; too GENERAL!!
xi: He was born in 1947, making him 42 this year.
6: Summary: "In the superstring theory, the fundamental forces and various particles found in nature are nothing but different modes of vibrations of strings. The gravitational intereaction, for example, is caused by the lowest vibratory mode of a circular string (a loop). Higher excitations of the string create different forms of matter. From the point of view of the superstring theory, no force or particle is more fundamental than any other. They are all just different vibratory resonances of vibrating strings. Thus, a single framework---the superstring theory---can in principle explain why the universe is populated with such a rich diversity of particles and atoms."
25: Light is electromagnetic sine waves interacting: page 70 of Quantum Reality
32: "Gravity is not a force at all." SO WHY TRY TO UNIFY IT??
42: "Force field of gravity." ???
54: "Reality does not exist without a measurement taking place. In other words, the observation process creates the reality. (It should be stressed, however, that the original quantum physicists applied this philosophy only to the subatomic realm. They weren't solipsists; they believed that this nonobjective reality applied only to the microscopic world of electrons and protons, not the macroscopic world that we live in.)" WHAT's the BOUNDARY???
58: "Electrons in the hydrogen atom typically travel at speeds one hundred times less than the speed of light."
94: "Nambu's seminal idea was to assume that the hadron consisted of a vibrating string, with each mode of vibration corresponding to a separate particle. Vibrations along string travel only less than or at light-speed.
105: "A higher dimension is required to eliminate an anomaly." 26D=ANOMALYCOVER
108: "Symmetries are the reason why the superstring theory works so well."
113: Why the numbers 8, 10, and 26 continually crop up in the superstring theory, perhaps we could understand why the universe is in four dimensions."GP?
211: E(8)xE(8) is more than enough to explain all the known particles and to predict the existence of billions more." Maybe it goes TOO far?? Lie groups!?
119: "Fundamental" quarks and leptons to a minimum of 48...more today than there wer particles back in the 1950s, when physicists first suspected the existence of subnuclear particles."
127: "All bosonic particles in the universe had a fermionic partner." WHAT is the GRAVITON'S partner??? 130: "Fermionic partner to the graviton and created a new theory they christened "supergravity.""
132: "Presently, the Princeton superstring is the leading candidate for a theory of the universe."
155: "The "inflation" phase, BEFORE the Big Bang, more rapid than Big Bang."
158: "Ten-dimensional fabric of space-time ruptured violently and rapidly reformed into two separate universes of lower energy: a four-dimensional universe (our own) and a six-dimensional one." (I like my GOING-COMING better)
171: "We need five dimensions to explain where the Big Bang took place." HUH??
213: "(It has also been conjectured that the topological structure of these Calibi-Yau spaces will eventually solve the problem of why there are at least three families of leptons and quarks.)" Didn't I read it COULDN'T be FIVE???
175: "Space probes might be sent directly into a rotating black hole and wind up on another, parallel universe."192: "If the energy of the ten-dimensional universe turns out to be zero, then this would tend to support the "everything from nothing" theory."
195: "The more elegant and simple your scheme is, the more success it seems to have." Is 26 dimensions really SIMPLE??
196: "Dirac could not swallow all the sleight-of-hand tricks invented by Feynman and others to shove the infinities up one's sleeve." Haven't you folded them into 26-dimensional symmetries???
199: "Although the experimental situation is still upin the air, scientists have enough compelling theoretical results to believe that the superstring theory is the long-sought unified field theory." HARARI'S is SIMPLER, why isn't THAT being pursued???
If I fall upon a copy of this, I might keep it, but I think THIS page is enough to take to Kaku's class at the Open Center---maybe he knows a BETTER book for me to BUY with all these theories explained more FULLY.
8/2/89: Typed 7/23/89 NOTE: ECONOCIDE
1) Keep funds from AIDS research: kill off gays, IV-drug users, black minority.
2) Ignore global warming: kill off a) Indians and Bangladeshis with floods--- THAT'll keep their population down so WE can continue to increase consumption, b) Africans and Chinese with heat---and increase productivity of Canadian and Russian tundras.
3) Ignore drugs: the IGNORANT and POOR ONLY will cease to exist via misuse.
4) Ignore solar and wind power: you make more money exploiting carbon-based energy and SPEED UP global warming: you get two wins for the "price" of one!
5) CONTINUE to produce and use chlorofluorocarbons: only the ignorant sunbathe anyway, and it's profitable to use them. No one CARES about ozone, anyway. Ozone kills microorganisms---there goes the food chain, but it won't affect US!
6) Acid rain from industry (Maya: everyone's acid in BODY). High-sulfur COAL produces acid rain. Wood-burning natives destroy forests. Aluminum and acidity lethal to fish, and probably to humans. Killing microorganisms prevents leaf decay and so it just builds up and can't be made into soil. There's also heavy-metal deposition. Will Canada GO TO WAR against up because of our sending them Acid Rain and doing nothing to prevent or lessen it??
7) 1/3 of grain grown is destroyed by fungi, which grows STRONGER with artificial fertilizer. Horray for our side!
8/2/89: Type 7/31/89 NOTE: from GP: Numerology: 1 = Idea, 2 = Germination of idea, 4 = Foundation and earthing of idea, 8 = manifestation of idea; 10 = creation and seed; 26 is HIGHER manifestation of idea. Odd numbers are creative and even numbers are pragmatically creative.
8/2/89: I'd had depressing thoughts after Mrs. Corden asked me to help Mrs. Johnson into bed. It was so hot and stuffy I actually thought she might die. Then I thought of my death, and the things that I still wanted to do, and I guess the best thing is to NOTE this and just commence to DO rather than bitch!
8/12/89: VERY "floaty" feeling the past week or so: had been content to "force" myself to read the book-a-day I'd fallen into starting July 24 (though I can report only on the three library books, the two Ballard books, Clarke's "Cradle", the Burroughs book, the two small Gorey/Dahl books, and Edmund Whites' books to Susan last night, not even being able to recall having read the Krishnamurti, Neal's bio, Bradbury, the Golding Egyptian journal, or Maupin). I caught up with videotapes, got a number of films from Pope and from BHV, took in my NEC twice to be repaired, and did some banking business, but SINCE the banking business, all the mail-to-be-handled and shoulderbag-remnants have been piling up without sorting, even the $4100 check I got for Mom about Tuesday still lost in the stack now on Saturday. But the last few days have been cool and rainy, perfect for vacuuming and scrubbing the kitchen, at least in preparation for next Saturday's Homogeniuses meeting, and I might get to them today after watching the tailends of videotape and finishing White's "Travels in Gay America" and hoping not to be tempted by the three books that I picked up at Strand on Thursday and Friday, disappointed at not finding ANYTHING at Forbidden Planet in the line of paperbacks, out-of-print books, or the REsearch issue on Burroughs. Retype the VCR and book-wanted lists yesterday at least, and have been busily closing down my magnetic so I won't get ANY more jobs for the rest of the year so that my income won't blow out of proportion for 1989. Still haven't phoned Bob K or the Wycoff AIDS-antibody testing appointments, but I DID get through to Vicki and Joe and Susan, and now have to wait for Alice to get through to me for tonight, and the delivery of the first pages of the McGraw-Hill book and the "author-corrected" index she's sending me. And I have to do most of the Harper and Row book today, still not having asked Pisano about the personnel or departments remaining in NYC. Lots to do but I'm trying to stay "fluid," and how I WISH I had a summer-travel CAR!
8/15/89: NOTES from Brooklyn Heights Library that I'd forgotten to transcribe:
"Quantum Chaos" article in Science, February 17, 1989, page 893: "Quantum chaos heads toward revolution."
"Quantum wave: article by Hawking in Science, December 2, 1988, p. 1248: "Infinity of intercon nected self-reproducing universes, wormhole 10-33 cm diam, existing for 10-43 sec. Wormhole SCATTERING = mass and interactions."
References to Scientific American I could check myself: April 1989 p.56 refers to Aharonov-Bohm interactions from DAVID BOHM, the June 1988 p.28 is a quickie about Quantum Holonomy (moving pencil from NPole to Equator and back to NPole changes DIRECTION of point), and the January 1988 describes Bohm's hidden-variable theories, while I don't HAVE a July 1988 issue to CHECK page 8.
8/15/89: ECOCIDE note #2: Aluminum blocks CALCIUM uptake. Aluminum is the MOST common metal: 8% of all matter!!
8/15/89: HIP notes from 8/8: 8/29 next meeting at 5PM. Pope's recipe for popcorn: olive oil IN BOWL and then a few TABASCO SAUCE drops for zingy flavor!
CHOLESTEROL: 9 cal/gram of fat, recommended 30% or LESS of calories from FAT.
Recommended less than 3000 mg sodium/day. Cheeses go from low fat of 36% for processed low-fat cheese to 56% for mozzarella, 62% for parmesan, to high of 73% for cheddar. CREAM cheese is 90% fat. COTTAGE cheese is good. Shrimp and lobster and dardines are WORST of fish. Liver is bad. No chicken skins. NO vegetable oils HAVE cholesterol. Coconut and palm oils bad. Mono (olive oil and canola [rapeseed] oil) and poly (safflower oil)(which lowers HDL, the good one) unsaturated oils lower cholesterol. Margerine has TWICE poly than unsat.
Snacks: No-salt V8 juice, rice cakes. Worchestershire sauce is better than soy sauce. WHOLE grain cereal has less than 2 g fat/serving. Oatmeal is best HOT cereal. Frosted mini-wheats good cookies!! WHOLE wheat bread always. TOFU is PRE-COOKED and good snack, but NOT raisins and dates. (On back of "Dietary Guidelines to Lower Cancer Risk" handout from T. Sharpe at HIP's noisy afterns.
8/17/89: 12:40AM: CONTINUING BEYOND the 7 note-cards numbered 0-6 written between 11:45PM and 12:35AM this morning: I feel "typer" (I was going to "type hyper" and invented "typer"!) and put on the computer to write this. I want to make SURE I camputure (computer-capture) the HYPERFLIGHT connections: connected DREAM/OOB/MYSTICISM/BODY-NOW/SEX-NOW/MIND-NOW with "mystery" areas of zeitgeber and Einstein separability and quantum reality in physiology and physics and cosmology, with "WRITING" areas of expressing myself, letting myself go to new height-flights of creativity, theorizing postulates that open ACTUAL possibilities of thought-creating ACTION, capitalizing on the circumstances of my over-full stomach from Le Perigord with Alice night-before-last putting me away (from normalcy)(that "away" was to have been "awake," but hang onto the typo) awake from 4:45AM to 8:45AM to finish reading the MAGNIFICENTLY INVENTIVE writing of Edmund White in "Caracole," thinking that I could never write so BEAUTIFULLY, but I insist I can write in MY way (as I'm doing here), which is equally (or morose [more-so typo]) inventive in MY way---all I have to do is EXPRESS all the links and acronymize sufficiently to work the VIBRATIONS (since all the world: being/existence/mentality/physicality/thought, IS only variation of vibration---reminding of Sherryl tonight at K-Paul's[which lead to TONIGHT'S overfull stomach and waking from odd-dream] talking of AMAZEMENT of Feynman on TV saying that I can talk to YOU and person on RIGHT can talk and see person on LEFT and ALL THOSE SIGNALS can cross each other with 1) extreme complication and 2) extreme ease) into the correct synchronicity (here zooms Jung to the linkage!) for EVERYTHING to link-and-go (here zooms computers to the linkage!) to form a multi-dimensional (do I have to get to 8 or 10 or 26???) NETWORK (here zooms Actualism AGAIN to the linkage!) that sharpens my perception of the ANGLE (so tiny) between THIS alternate-universe (AU, but not Akron University, so here zooms my past to the linkage!) and THE ADJACENT AU, which is the one that permits REENTRY to this one AFTER I've gone off in a controlled OOB (they say it's "easy" to reconnect after OOB, but the thought that the WORLD-LINE of the body is SO complex in ACTUAL EROTIC [Earth Rotation-Orbit-Translation- Intragalactic spin-Cosmological galactive {was going to change to "galactical" but maybe "galactive" had to be invented there} movement toward the constellation of Hercules] space-time surely must demand FAITH from the time- space traveler), but maybe the parameter of control IS the recognition that the hyperdimensions curled at a point (here zooms Superstring theory to the linkage!) PERMIT "lift-off and return" as a finger can easily put itself down ON or INTO a Flatland world (where the creatures absolutely SHIT to see this pink circle of flesh appearing and growing out of THEIR nowhere) while the Flatland creatures move about in their OWN (2-D) space (or 3-D space-time), unaware that someone from OUTSIDE (in our 3-D space or 4-D space-time) can WATCH them at all times and place the finger in the SAME place for us which may appear to them to be a DIFFERENT place. So this writing circles around the "lift-off" into hyperflight (HF) which I'm trying to create by incorporating all these linkages in an orderly way. If the Actualism levels ARE dimensions, let's start counting dimensions:
1, 2, 3, 4: our present space-time allotment
5: the Human's dimension that permits "lift-off" into OOB and dreams
6: the Sensory dimension that allows manipulation independent of all others
7: the Emotional dimension ditto
8: Mental ditto
9: Soul ditto
10: Angelic ditto
11: Archetypal ditto---although maybe this is only the HYPERPLEX of the previous ten, so I can stop at 10 rather than struggling out to 26, though they would include 12) Actualism itself, 13) Physics itself, 14) Cosmology itself (it seems I mean that each numbered dimension represents EACH direction that parameter can take: e.g. dimension 13 "north" is Physics with NO mysticism, "east" is Physics with ALL mysticism [and the degrees, infinite in number, between that 0 and 90 are all the possible combinations of Physics and mysticism], "south" is No-Physics, whatever that might mean, and "west" is No- mysticism, which is different from the NO mysticism of "north"), 15) my writing of this and EVERYTHING else, 16) my sexuality, 17) my physical/immune/drunk condition (different from 1-3 and 6-8), 18) Philosophy itself (assuming that philosophy has some kind of "primacy" in existence---what I mean is, that THAT is the name I apply to what dimension 18 IS), 19) Immortality/Self-Extension/ Rebirth/Reincarnation/PersonalDevelopment>expandability>all-knowingnext (what a lovely typo for what had wanted to be a dull "all-knowingness"!), 20) OPENNESS to the magnetic, to the creative, to the typos, to the component of actual mind that dips into everyone's creativity---for who CAN tell "where" an idea comes from: the brain? the cosmos? Actual Mind? (how nice that AM!!), 21) WILLINGNESS or better WILLFOR/FULLNESS (a combination of willfullness and willforness producing a Will For Fullness---definitely in my opinion a Well-Formed Function or whatever it was WFFs were in WFF and Proof), 22) And I sit naked at the keyboard at 1:25AM, opening to what might come in next, wondering whether I'll show these pages to anyone, hoping I don't bother the people upstairs and downstairs with typing out each page so that if anything happens to my machine (which seems remote since it hasn't happened in the 6.8 years I've had it so far) I'll still have the printed page---which leads to "current-ultimate" thoughts of what WILL happen to these things when I die---reminding me of the fantasy that I had (LOOK at that left-hand word!) last night of taking out ENORMOUS insurance policies when I fly, so that IF I die in a plane crash it would ENSURE (with ENSURANCE: Enormous iNSURANCE) that ALL my writings are published---which leads to my thought TONIGHT about OOBs into the future: I could SEE if my writing DID succeed, or what future scientific discoveries would be and I could bring them back and promulgate them MYSELF---and surely ("Don't call me Surely") these thoughts IN THEMSELVES should show how, LOGICALLY anyway (but what dimension is logic---let's call THAT the 22 that I started this "flight-fugue" with, since universes obviously would be different under different logics, and how I'd LOVE to inhabit (IS it just the SEEING of the possibility---as I've thought Actualism might be good for me by letting me CREATE a soul and an archetype even if I didn't have it before?) a universe where the logic would PERMIT (if it IS just the seeing---then: *POOF* "LET IT BE!") the rightness of going OOB into the future and bringing back wonderful writings and scientific formulations and ANSWERS to "those" questions: A) can we travel faster than light, as we'd have to since in a very PHYSICAL sense traveling faster than light IS traveling backward in time, so to RETURN to the past FROM the future would DEMAND a force, a hidden-variable, (to use the physicists' term) a superluminal vector (since it must have a direction as well as a magnitude, so it's more than a scalar), which would HAVE to be postulated now that Einsteinian separability seems to be going under the pressure of Bell's Theorem and the unworkability of locality in quantum reality---and I made a triplet: the unworkabality
of locality
in quantum reality!
Let's hope it's not the improbabality
of the unworkabality
of locality
in quantum reality!
And obviously this has something to do with punning, writingability, and it's clear that THIS IS DIFFERENT from Edmund White's "Caracole" and publishable on its own merits---a conclusion dearly to be wished! Though this isn't anything new, already described as Dimension 15. So let's go on to Dimension 23: what will it be: I open myself to it, I continue to type, would that I could "lean into the flow of time-space" and my human separate out into the 5th dimension (not the Musical Group)---AHA, THERE it is, the Dimension 23 is MUSIC, clearly a primacy for emotions, creativity, humanism, development, an entire DIMENSION where the vibrations of music ARE a dimension, where each note or crescendo or cadenza connects to a ply, a dimension, a linkage to each other dimension. VERY appropriate, so wehat's [typo for "what's"] (arhats?) for Dimension 24---COULD it be religion, since that seems to so control all facets of existence? Let's say it is, since that hasn't "zoomed yet into the linkage."
Dimnen---what can I do with THAT type of typo? Dimension 25? The "square" of 5, which was the Human? This reminds me that to Hawking (WOULD that he would read the letter and DO something with it!) I wrote that the 11 dimensions HE seemed to be looking at could be OUR 4-D universe "going out" and then "shifting" through a 5-D to ANOTHER 4-D universe "coming back" through another shift through the 10th-D, all of it "orderly" in 11-D. What WOULD "the square of a dimension" be? Is that why "26" is significant: 5-D squared, plus one to "be orderly" in? Reminds me of Russell Schofield's "49 dimensions" as being EITHER the square of his seven OR his 6x8 PLUS "one to be orderly in." Is it only "coincidence" (Jung already having zoomed in on page 504) that the 16-D that "split off" from the 10-D is 4-D squared? And 3-D squared is 9, with time and "hyperflight" from the notes: hypertime, adding the 1 or 2 to make 10 or 11 or whatever THIS universe is supposed to be? And IS our universe 4-D because that's 2-D squared, and there MUST be a TWO produced from a ONE----HA, since you can square 1 as much as you want and you'll never get above a 1, so you MUST go to a 2 before you can get ANYTHING outside a 1, so the "basic" number of dimensions above 1 (which is really none, a point, the "pre" before any Big Bang or Big Crunch or Cosmology---or ANY two whatsoever!), being 2, MUST have the "basic" square of 4! Rather than making "squaring" so magical, it's easier to think of it as "multiplying by itself" (isn't THAT a pregnant--HA--term?): one "multiplied by itself"---multiplying by itself alone?---can NEVER rise above one: ANY multiplicative growth (as opposed to additive growth, which is so SLOW!) must START with two, and THAT leads directly to 4-D when two is "multiplied by itself." Is this related to the Cantor sets of infinity? Then 3-D squared goes to the 9 or 10 or 11 of THIS universe, 4-D squared goes directly to the 16 of the "split-off" universe, and the 10+16=26---and THIS is somehow more satisfying than the George Pierson numerology---unless the 26, to repeat, is just the 5-D squared to 25, plus 1 for hyperflight-time, which STARTED this whole evening at 11:45PM, now 2AM, having gone on for 2:15! Looking back on the previous page, if Dimension 25 is assigned "squareness" (that range of universes in which the SIGNIFICANCE of squareness varies from zero-significance at zero-degrees through total-significance at 180-degrees and back through [here we go into the sine wave {since wave to capture the hastily- corrected typo} which has seemed so important recently in my thoughts] the cycle to the "beginning" at 360-degrees), then Dimension 26 can be left for everything to "be orderly in." What DOES that mean? Order is in the mind of man, so there ought to be a dimension in which EACH PERSON'S order has command: where "If YOU were the other person, you'd do EXACTLY what the other person had done" rules supreme---THIS is the dimension in which the pencil would be rotated holonomically to change ONE person into ANY OTHER person. So there's the dimensions. Looking over them later I might find better ones: combining some I've named more effectively into one. Is that it for this evening? It's now 2:10AM and I'm getting tired. Let's let it go and see if I can sleep.
8/17/89: NOTE FROM 8/16 11:45PM: "Dream in a Story-Telling Mode": a child was being held prisoner in an old turret of a castle on the ocean. Finally the General called for a "flaming plane" (I saw it as in a comic-strip: a glass- turreted two-seat bomber diving down at an eighty-degree angle with flames rippling along its bottom, comic-strip dots of color in the bronzy plane against a flat blue sky) to dive to the rescue of the child. Another already- rescued boy was being comforted by his rescuer, and older man, as they dove and the child was about to fall from his seat even though he was strapped in. The "Indian Angel of Desicion" was new at his job that night, but he had to decide whether the plane's dive would succeed in rescuing the child, and the plane hit "hyperflight" speed, assisted by a high wind, and the rescue was accomplished, which is now celebrated on Mary Poppins Day, who ALSO used her umbrella to take advantage of the hyperflight principles. 11:59PM I still don't fall asleep (I'd actually GOTTEN to sleep just after 8:45, too tired to continue reading Polo's Travels, but woke with a full stomach to note the dream, above. Now I turn the light back on to write these observations: Seven things come together: 1) "Hyperflight" dream 14 minutes ago. 2) "Out of body experiences" which I thought to get into, since I'd fulfilled the requirements of waking in the middle of the night after getting some sleep, but could THEY work due to something like Hyperflight? 3) "Actualism relaxed/letting go magnetic" stimulates CREATIVITY for these CONNECTIONS. 4) "ACTUAL space-time like" TANGENT ANGLE to "OOB world" so close that "mind can create the one quantum" to "SPLIT OFF on that tangent and WILL a position in 5) "Alternate Universes" (as in the BOOK that I bought JUST TONIGHT) to 6) "Go faster than light" in a tangent-direction, using a NEW NON-local hidden-variable, namely Hyperflight to 7) "Write this specific WRITING" of a new Dream/OOB/Actualism/Spacetime Separation (as opposed to Einsteinian separability/Alternate-Universe/
Faster-than-light/This [DOASSAUFT]---with "DOASSAUFT" as a "Magical Incantatory Vibration-Symbol"[MIVSY] of Hyperflight breakthrough.LinkingDream/OOB/Mysticism. Zeitgeber ("If our DAY is 24.9 hours, WHAT is our "space angle" to TRANSLATE from pole to equator to pole with DIRECTION changed, which I read in Scientific American yesterday, HOLONOMIC Physics to to [3] Manipulatable Universe" MU-status and link and go, like computers both to [6] [3] Physics: Physical; OOB: Human; Angle of flight: Sensory; MU-angle: Emotional [POAM=POEM]; Cosmological: Mental; Actualism: Soul; Positivism: Angelic; Sertainty: Archetypal [CAPS]. These POEM-CAPS (writings) "Let my creativity GO," and I Focus to Use Energies Light-ly as FUEL! For TRIP: This Represents It Presently!! [4] Zeitgeber-connection not SPELLED out: What is our actual WORLD-LINE (Earth's Rotation-Orbit-Translation-Intragalactic-Cosmic) EROTIC (line that CYCLES to "same" angle at 24.9 hours to give "3AM REVERSIBLE TakeOff Point [TOP]) time. As we Rotate on our axis, Orbit the sun, which Translates through space as it spins about our galactic center on one Intragalactic arm as the entire galaxy moves through the Cosmic space toward the constallation of Hercules. [5] EROTIC leads me to INCLUDE Sexual Excitement Level Fixation: SEX-SELF level to add to potency of POsitional Mind-Set (POMS) for TakeOff: POMSTO! [6] (from [2]): Linking (computerwise) (branch from [2] to [3] and [6] writing will be GREAT with VIDEODISC computer-technology). Dream/Oob/Mysticism/Body = DOMB. Physics/Separability/Alternate-Universe/Faster Than light = PSAFT, for DOMSAFT writing, linking Real Emotional Mystical REM-sleep with Writing Reality It This REM-WRIT, to 8/17/89 12:35AM, then computer-type to 2:10AM (pages 504-507). Then AFTER computer-typing, I get back into bed and write [7] GOT to record: 1) I want to be ENLIGHTENED enough to FLOAT OOB!! 2) Is my throat SORE some mornings because I SNORE while I'm sleeping on my BACK? Put on CASSETTE recorder to HEAR myself some night?? (or let someone sleep over? Or ask Sherryl if she noticed if I did in Long Beach?) 3) Possible to CONCENTRATE (or LET GO OF) foot-vibrations as STEP-off to OOB? [8] 2:27AM: I feel on the BRINK ---of writing/publishing/expressing! Can I get someone to help me OVER that brink? 1) Sherryl (talked to 7:30-9PM 8/17), 2) Pope (talked to 12-1:30PM 8/17), 3) Vicki (LW 9PM 8/17), 4) Mitch? 5) Marj (talked to 10:30AM-12 8/17), 6) Joe (talked to 6PM-7:30 8/17). 2:50AM: There IS another dimension: the Krishnamurti "What is" versus all that prior amount of "I should; I want; I must; I need" TOWARD---rather than BEING AT HERE-NOW! And I slept about 3AM!
8/17/89: Go to Brooklyn library to find what I can (checking out Burrough's "The Adding Machine" which I have to tear myself away from in order to finish this page at 1:30 in the afternoon), but a Burrough's recording is available only at the Borough Park branch, which is too far away; I have to call the Audio Department of the Main Branch to find if they have anything like a VCR catalog of tapes available; and I put in 5 quarters to request "Physics and Time" by Bohm, "Quantum Theory" by Bohm, "Science, Order, and Society" is RESERVED for me from the Brooklyn library system, "Science-Fiction Index," and "Superstring Theory" by Witten. Then I check Smithsonian of March 89, pages 106-110 for "Mass CREATED by Higgs boson; Higgs field saturates the universe." And Discover from January 89, pages 58-59, for "European CERN LEP turns on July 14, 1989." Both found fround Reader's Guide under "Accelerators." They don't carry Physics Letters. Also get referred to Scientific American April 1989 pages 112-115 about building a Planck-length collider, which I'd read and annotated but forgotten. Also checked out the July 1988 Scientific American which I never received, and only two Letters to the Editor had anything of interest: Oreste Piccioni on p.8: "Quantum mechanics is a well-proved theory, we believe that we have a puzzle, and that we do not know all there is to know about it. More work is needed." Shimoy (author of the January article on Quantum Reality referred to) on p.9: "I think it very likely future experiments will continue to support quantum nonlocality." I also checked out the stamp catalogues, was told how to check the Dewey cards to see if THIS library has a copy of the book described in the BPL of the Union Catalog of the New York Libraries, and instructed not to expect too much from the 25-cent cards requesting books: They look at the shelves and if the book is THERE they send it to me, but it is NOT a request for reserve on the book. To do that I'd have to go to the LIBRARY that had the book and reserve it there. So I'm sent back to the used book-shops for any other el-cheapo copies and finally to Books in Print for the publisher if I get DESPERATE for the book, but at least this all satisfies my CURRENT urge to check things out at the local library to see what THAT can do for me before venturing further asea.