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1992 4 of 5

MONDAY, AUGUST 10: Electric blanket turned on before bed, as with heater, and wake at 5:30 feeling pretty good. Heater on, breakfast while Laird showers, shower while Laird readies,and pack bag into trunk at 6:45 and north to Rustenberg. He talks INCESSANTLY. To film place at 8:10, Bophuthatswana post office at 8:45 for two of all stamps BUT the 50R Revenue---I want to CHECK the catalog price first! AND the general LEGITIMACY of Bophuthatswana stamps! To factory (PMR: Precious Metals Refinery, owned by JCI: Johannesburg Consolidated Industries) at 9, leaving camera and PEN in car, paper and tag check-in, can't find Derek. Talk to Nils of HIS 486 PC and Mario of his Namibian birth. Anne-Marie talks to Laird while Peter takes me on a good tour, then back to a peanut-butter and cup-of-soup lunch from 12-1, then talk to Derek 1-1:20, and Gary to 2:40 on systems. Long-dong John is handsome first-met, but he JUST precedes us through nudist clothes-change. Nude ballet at end, lifting feet and gaping mouth, quite ludicrous. Out at 3:15, to bank before 3:30 and pick up photos, and I'm on Buspar and just SIT. To Mine Club at 4 PM for All-Blacks trouncing South Africa, and at 4:45 he finds the Monday Night Drinking Club, and I photo and drink beer and chat and pee til 6, then SOUTH AFRICAN TRIP - 46 11/23/92

to Tlhabane Inn in Bophuthatswana for quick look at elegant hotel, their version of off-track betting, and no video, to dinner of GOOD crumbed mushrooms, GREAT fillets and wine for my LAST Visa charge, and out at 7:30 to drive back in dark, but his car DIES as it goes uphill at Routes 539 and 47, and we coast downhill to Zenex station about 9:30, Hamish leaving his car to help. Fill it up? "Coolant" lamp still on. Coolant empty? Add LOTS and it doesn't FILL, and Laird says, "Engine sounds strange," and shuts it off. Check oil? WATER in it! Ruined! Phone Wolf and pager at 10, no answer. Phone police and they take registration and can't send cab. We sit and freeze. I'm mentally numb as Laird chatters on. Recorded all the numbers: Wolf at 787-8607, Police at 1-0111, Taxi at 648-1212, and Emergency at 1022. At 12 I dial "Emergency" and say "We're DESPERATE; we'll sleep in the CAR." "That's dangerous." "That's why I BEG you to send a taxi." Taxi: "Phone if it's not there in one hour." We sit, colder, debating what to do next. I FIND Natalie's number and say I'll call HER. Laird: "Phone taxi at 12:35." I do: "It's SENT, give us some time." At 1 AM Sydney arrives in car that's FALLING APART. Laird talks him ALL the way from 1 to 1:50, toting up 143R and I GIVE him 25 of the 30 I have, my last money. I get to bed at 2:05 AM in the DARK and the COLD, completely exhausted.

TUESDAY, AUGUST 11: Wake at 5:30 to shit, freezing. Wake at 8:20 and hear Wolf leave at 8:15, and up at 8:25 to let Helen in, who minds the phone and talks to the gardeners. I brush teeth and phone Laird and write this to 10:10 when Thomas says, "I take you now, Wolf back later and sends me out." To Joubert Park and Johannesburg Art Gallery at 10:35, trail SEXY dancer-legged guy around who REFUSES to make eye contact with me. Finish this at 12:20, hoping he's WAITING for me OUTSIDE! Take 3-4 photos, then see the tour announced for 1:05, so watch awful 12-minute video and take tour, needing to walk around whole museum to get out at 1:50, and Thomas arrives at 2:03, with ERRANDS to do, and I thought to eat at Wolf's! He drives VERY well and we're home at 3:15 when Wolf makes me a lunch of scrambled eggs and toast and I take erythromycin one hour late! Then shower and bustle about packing, finishing THIS book at 4:27 PM, will continue on the end-pages of Halprin's book, only 28 hours left in this trip! [Following from "A Soldier of the Great War" back pages:] Pack shoulder bag and other bags and NEED only two! Finish at 4:35 and AGAIN Wolf can't find his keys! "Thomas, do YOU have them?" He gives Thomas 30R for me and says it'd cost $10 to cash my check! Out to car at 4:40 and traffic is heavy in places and he gets MAD at the traffic. What if he gets a heart attack? To Jan Smuts at 5:15, LONG walk from car to terminal with WEARYING bags. Push luggage through and shoulder bag is just transferred through. SHORT check-in line but I didn't RECONFIRM! I ask for a window seat and "They're all gone, sir." Supervisor helps her and there's talk back and forth and I get 14A AGAIN probably an upgrade! Happy! But still VERY depressed, tired, and trembly. Say goodbye with two bags checked through to NYC at 5:30, and into long passport line but end at QUIET girl. To duty free and Visa-charge two half-pound packs of Biltong that they SAY NYC will accept. Decide AGAINST booze---just not worth the TROUBLE. Guy GRACIOUSLY checks my video and film (opening two canisters at random), and I'm down to far gate B at 5:55, having trouble finding a seat, NO boarding at 6, and finish to date at 6:08. 7:40 AM - 1 PM wait in Paris and 3 PM arrival, which is 9 PM, so it's STILL 27 hours, and a baby three seats down starts CRYING. Pick up "This Is South Africa" book on LEAVING. Line starts at 6:12, but doesn't more til 6:35 and I DO have GREAT window! Dutch travel writer has been in South Africa ALL year and recommends Malawi and Zimbabwe for the BUDGET traveler, not for ANIMALS but for "friendly people and cheap tenting." We move at 7 and take off at 7:10 for 4:25 flight to Libreville, ABOVE equator! Sky is CLEAR over Johannesburg, but the lights are bright and I have a gin and tonic and red wine with GOOD (small) filet and pate and chocolate mousse, AND a second wine AND Champagne Laurent-Perrier! AND a huge Grand Marnier! SQUIFFED! Land at 11:31 in dust-roaded Libreville SOUTH AFRICAN TRIP - 47 11/23/92

and feel ILL in the 85 heat as new passengers load, and I hope I don't throw UP! Breathe deeply.

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 12: LAST DAY! Leave at 12:40, and one hour LOST then is MADE up in Paris, so my watch is STILL OK. Smooth takeoff toward water. At 1 AM I take Rohypnol, at 4500 meters already. Two Japanese behind me gab (I didn't watch all of "Mambo Kings" earlier, but Assante is handsome and hairy chested) and I CAN'T get to sleep. Look at watch at 1:40, 1:50, 2:15, and FINALLY drop off until 6 AM, waking to light clouds (MOON had lit clouds earlier) and CLEAR skies off coast at Marseilles, but then it's variably cloudy and I can't see "Vaux Le Compte" (as the screen has it) or Fontainbleu on the way in, only neat villages amid brown and green farmlands and deep-green forested areas. Land early at 7:10, no view of Paris at all, and off to terminal and buy Kahlua for 69F, 4.6 exchange making it $15, I hope a bargain for a liter. As with Biltong, they just GIVE it to me. Check out bookstore, but no interest. Down long walk and moving sidewalk to Correspondence bus, CUTE large fellow across way with NICE eyes that a woman tries to pick up (his EYES?), and off at gate 2A to see a departure to New York at 11 AM. Ask, but it's CONCORDE--how would THAT be for getting in early? Back to announced gate 49 for 1 PM flight at 8:15 and catch up by 8:30, noting 20%-off vouchers in correspondence routing, but who was I to spend 350F to save 70? If I could have saved 70F on 69, I would have DONE it. Free refreshment voucher. What next? 8:30 to 9 PM, only 12 1/2 hours left! Whew! Read Herald Tribune and the Air France magazine and puzzle to 10:30 and decide to repack into ONE carryon. Finish skimming "This Is Africa" by 11:25, still no announcement of 1 PM flight. Sexy tan-legged guy sits two seats from me: my heart goes bang-bang bang-bang. It's WARM here! 9 1/2 hours left! Count sleep hours: 12:10-5:30 Monday AM = 5:20; 2:10-8:10 = 6; Tuesday; 2:10-6:10 Wednesday = 4 for a total of 15:20 in THREE days, not enough for TWO! CAN sleep on plane to US! At 11:50 I decide to check the board and the gate's moved from 49 to 51, and there's a LONG LINE! BUT, I find at 12, the line is for DAMASCUS, not NYC. At 12:10 he says "New York in 20 minutes, at 12:30." At 12:18 boarding is announced for 12:45. At 12:28, it's announced in ten minutes. MANY kids absolutely SCREAMING! 12:37: Boarding by Row Number. 50-56 at 12:40. Board by 12:50, on the aisle, and request a "Sleep Seat." Stewardess suggests I ask the fellows to my left, and I do, and they LET ME HAVE the window seat! I pass lunch by. Take a pill at 2:35 and conk out to 4:40. Good nap. Shit and back at 5:35, about 1/2 through! "Mambo Kings" shown again, over at 6:25. Bumpy section in rear. I guess I'm UP. Land OK and get luggage and cab home and RELAX at last!

THURSDAY, AUGUST 13: [Note in Helprin just BEFORE above note:] To HIP 8:55 and there's a LONG list. At 9:05 they WEED list and I'm 4th. Get up to Doctor Odinsky and he does the operation on my toe, first freezing spray, then the needles, then the cutting which I don't feel a BIT of, and then he says I can wear my regular shoes back home, but that I shouldn't shower for a couple of days, and then NOT to wash the foot. So THAT'S taken care of at last! Then I think I can relax until I talk to Joe and he's going to Europe, so that's the NEXT travel journal I have to transcribe, though that's only 65 pages, so it'll just be ten typed pages, which I can do TOMORROW, since I did 68 pages TODAY in TWELVE pages (including lots of stuff from the back of Helprin), so it's coming to the END of that. And I don't even HAVE to get down to the bottom of this page, though it's only five lines down, but I don't have to fill out the page, NOR do I have to take ALL the next month's trip with Mike and Delores in Madagascar: I MUST call them and say I'm only interested in 10-12 days THERE, and would like time in the Seychelles, Reunion, and Mauritius, and maybe time in Africa at places of their choice in Kenya, which I've never been to, and even Rwanda, if they wish, or I've never seen the island of Zanzibar---OR we could go EAST to the ANDAMAN islands, before they SUBMERGE!
FRI,JUN 26:Off from Kennedy to Paris, Air France Business Class, at 7:40 PM.
SAT,JUN 27:11:15 to Jean-Jacques; to Giverney; Montardier Cafe for lunch, drive through Paris, dine at Arab-Union Building, out Charles de Gaulle 11:50.
SUN,JUN 28:Brazzaville 6:25; 11:27 Johannesburg & Wolf & Laird; eat at Wolf's.
MON,JUN 29:To Library: Africana Museum&Gem Collection; dine at Carlton Center.
TUE,JUN 30:Soweto Tour;buy tour tickets;City PM tour;Wimpy lunch;Wolf dinner.
WED,JUL 1:10:10 bus to Ladysmith;Fort Mistake lunch; Hotel Mont aux Sources.
THU,JUL 2:Walking tour;rehbuck;Royal Natal Park;lunch & dinner in Karos Hotel.
FRI,JUL 3:Chase bus from Ladysmith;Fort Mistake lunch;GREAT dinner at Laird's.
SAT,JUL 4:Laird&I:Lion Park;DeWildt CheetahFarm;Ta'n Malie lunch;Natalie'sDnr.
SUN,JUL 5:Delores:"LeavingNOW!"Fly to Honeyguide:Impala,kudu,waterbuck,birds.
MON,JUL 6:Honeyguide:Giraffe,hornbill,wildebeest,rhinos,warthog,bush/steenbuck
TUE,JUL 7:Fly to Londolozi:vervet,hippo,cheetah,elephant,rhinos battling!Boma!
WED,JUL 8:Londolozi:Sandross GREAT guide:ostrich,elephant,hippo,warthogs,RHINO
THU,JUL 9:Londolozi:Changan village;"Super Predators"video;giraffe,rhino,LIONS
FRI,JUL 10:Londolozi:LEOPARDS,jackal,mongoose;flyJo'burg;lunSandton;dinner THE
SAT,JUL 11:FlyMaun10;FlyCampOkavango11:15;lechwe walk;push-boat ride to sunset
SUN,JUL 12:Motorboat:sitatunga,hippo,sessebo,NileMonitor,BabyCroc;CatchTigrfsh
MON,JUL 13:To CampMoremi by boat;elephant/wine lunch;Leopard,zebra,fish eagles
TUE,JUL 14:CampMoremi:LEOPARDS,giraffe,hippo,wilddog,baboon,kingfisher,B-eater
WED,JUL 15:Moremi:HyenaEatsSoap!Lion,birds,SABLES,giraffe;Terry of Chobe talks
THU,JUL 16:Moremi:Hoepoe;FlyKasane for ChobeGameLodge:roller,elephant,kuduLION
FRI,JUL 17:Chobe:hippo;LIONS kill 2 BUFFALO!Hippo,ibis,egret,vulture,croc,elep
SAT,JUL 18:Chobe:lion,roller,BusVictoriaFalls;IlalaLodge;VICTORIA FALLS! Croc farm:Serval,Caracal,Wildcat;VICTORIA FALLS! VF Hotel,native dance,dinner:Ilala
SUN,JUL 19:VICTORIA FALLS!&flight! ZAMBIA side VICTORIA FALLS!! 2 flights over Lake Kariba to Bumi Hills for stabbed woman, elephant&buffalo&waterbuck herds.
MON,JUL 20:BumiHills:impala,bushbuck,buffalo;Hide:bushbuck;elephants,waterbuck
TUE,JUL 21:Fly Bumi Hills-Chikwenya:baobab,mopane,mahogany;Hide:impala,baboon;
WED,JUL 22:Chikwenya:SUCKLING buffalo;STRETCHING elephant;CLOSE baboon;stork; great boat tour:elephants,bee-eaters,fish eagles, another glorious-colorSUNSET
THU,JUL 23:Chikwenya:GoliathHeron;FlyFothergill;BoatSpurwing:waterbuck&LIONS!!
FRI,JUL 24:Spurwing:BoatCruise;SunyatiGorge:croc,hippo,buffalo;evening cruise for photos of drowned trees and buffalo around Lake Kariba and sunset glories!
SAT,JUL 25:Spurwing:TawnyEagle,3-flight day:Harare-Jo'burg;OLYMPICS OPENS onTV
SUN,JUL 26:Fly to Windhoek & Mokuti Lodge;Dolly's bookshop and great BomaBraai
MON,JUL 27:Mokuti:Etosha:Namutani,TwoPalms,Aroe:oryx,springbok,wildebeest,zebr
TUE,JUL 28:Drive Mokuti-Namutani-Chudob-Kalkhuewel-ALL waterholes:giraffe,kudu
ostrich,jackal. Okakeujo WaterholeNight:elephant,lion,jackal,springbok,gemsbok
WED,JUL 29:Okakeujo:Mongoose,GroundSquirrels,oryx,springbok,RHINOS,bustards,YO
THU,JUL 30:Okakeujo:RHINO,Pan,Fly Windhoek-Namibia:SesriemCanyon;TentCampDinnr
FRI,JUL 31:Namib:Desert-dune climb for sunrise;Office books;Elim Dune sunset
SAT,AUG 1:Namib:Redo dune-sunrise;Dune 47 forDelores:Kinnic battle;flyWindhoek
Fly Johannesburg:Wolf forgets me, picks me up, dines me on his vegetable soup.
SUN,AUG 2:Laird for tapes;Lunch at Mike's Kitchen;bus:dine:Kronstadt:GoldenEgg
MON,AUG 3:Bus:Hex River Mountains;Capetown;Inn on the Square Cobbler's lunch; Castle tour;Waterfront ramble; restaurant dinner because town's closed[black].
TUE,AUG 4:Capetown Tour to Cape Point, Black Marlin Restaurant lunch, JACKASS penguines, race BACK to Table Mountain, cablecar to top, Kingklip dinnerInInn.
WED,AUG 5:Capetown:Blue Train breakfast,lunch,Matijesfontain,dinner,good music
THU,AUG 6:Blue Train breakfast, Johannesburg Zoo,Laird&JimO'BrienDineThePantry
FRI,AUG 7:Gold Reef City;Dr.Germain for ingrown toenail;Laird&Peter&I:Longhorn
SAT,AUG 8:Pretoria:Voortrekker Monument & Zoo;PotjiekosLunch;Laird'sGoodDinner
SUN,AUG 9:LipizzanerShow;LunchCourierRestaurant;SnakeFarm;Laird:dinner&Olympix
MON,AUG 10:Bophutatswana&PreciousMetalsRefining;MineClub;TlhabaneInnDinnerGood
TUE,AUG 11:2:05AMCar-BreakHome;J'burgArtGllry;FlyLibreville-WED,AUG12:ParisNYC

EUROPE TRIP WITH JOE, September 13-27, 1992

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 13: Notes on back of puzzle [which unfortunately I threw out when I got back from trip! But then I DO find the puzzle in the stack of souvenirs, and all it says is: "10:01 PM: Seven-hour flight; begin to move; 2/3 full; off at 10:25; pill at 10:35, forced to drink soda and THAT works at 12:25. Up at 9:20, also change my watch---TWO hours to go!" I must sadly admit that none of that makes much sense, but that seems to be what it says!] Joe came over here, I'd packed into two bags before he got here, we called the car service and got to the airport over the BQE and the Van Wyck in FINE time, despite my worries, and found the Pakistanis with LOADS of luggage and a FULL plane, so we had to sit separately, which I didn't mind because I got a FULL THREE SEATS in the back, and the smokers didn't disturb me very much, but I DIDN'T realize that Pakistani Airlines doesn't serve booze, and I felt too self-conscious to get my Southern Comfort out of Joe's carry-on bag, so I just swallowed the Rohypnol with some water, told the stewardess I didn't want any dinner, and somehow managed to get to sleep about 11:15 local time, which would be 5:15 AM European time, but the flight was so smooth I never even felt agitated!

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 14: Wake at 8:15 (which means I slept three hours) and breakfast on bread, and land at 11:05. Quickly out to car at 12:15 and drive toward Alzay, where we see an old castle and quaint streets. Then to Worms to the Cafe Lott, for lunch, which Joe wrote out for me on the first page of my notebook: Königen pastete; Gefult mit ragout fin; Toulouser art. (Viel zartes [tender] kalbfleisch und feinstes geflügel); Pear Helene; Vanilla eis w. Pear; Chocolate w. cream; Pear William; for 33 marks, and out at 2:45 to Cathedral, bare moth-eaten crypt, but ornate carvings of five sculpted orders. Leave around 3:30. Through to Speyer, finding "residents only" parking at 4:35 for the HUGE crypt and ENORMOUS church---LOTS of video and buying two books of Speyer and one of Worms. Walk around town for Einbahnstrasse, and NICE homes and neat neighborhoods, finding TRUTZPFAFF hotel which we returned to at 7, had some Harvey's Bristol Cream, and down at 7:45 (I'm EXHAUSTED) for dinner: my GREAT Goulash soup and Joe's VERY hot and fatty beef consomme, my delicious pork and mushrooms in cream sauce with potato croquettes and Joe's breaded pork steak with french fries. Up at 8:45 and I COLLAPSE in sleep, Joe saying I SNORED various times and he WOKE for "construction noise" next door and loud noises upstairs for a short time. With earplugs I slept RIGHT through to 7:05! OVER ten hours for first time in MANY MONTHS.

TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 15: Chat nicely with Joe about dinner, the hotel, and our sleeping til 7:25, which I jot notes from yesterday, and now at 7:35 he goes for a shower and I note two dreams: 1) Dick Curry, Dennis, a younger guy, and I are all involved in sex. Dennis has an even BIGGER cock that's quite hard, but a NARROW part at the base makes one wonder if he hasn't been STRETCHING it. Dick's cock is small but hard, juicy with cum, and sexy, and some of our sex-play involves him in a soapy bathtub and my pushing him FAR under for stimulating effects. Then I wake in darkness, have pleasure in the luxury of sleeping without worrying about the trip or preparations FOR it, and back to sleep for 2) going down to Mrs. Johnson's apartment, with a GLASS panel at the side, and there's a YOUNG woman who looks like a young Mrs. Johnson and I say "You must be her cousin," and she agrees. Then there's a crew of men in MY (different) apartment who seem to be tearing it apart for her possession, some of them constructing materials that are wrecking the place, but it all "seems right." Wake at 7:05, as I said, and ENJOY the peace of having SLEPT (offer Joe my spare earplugs) and write this to 7:42 and get up for breakfast. Good rolls, honey, butter in double-large pats, and GREAT hot chocolate, tough on burnt tongue from last night. Walk to Cathedral at 9 to look at squared(?) squinches and Egyptian-lotus capitals halfway up, and try to get to river past nice gardens (and Chippendale ad) but it's too far. Museum CLOSED its Salian EUROPE TRIP WITH JOE (1992) - 2 11/24/92

collection and not yet opened its NEW collection, and the gold hat isn't part of the 6-7 rooms open to view, so our 2 marks rather wasted, yet we take brochures. Back to hotel to pay 153 marks, NO credit cards taken, and I say we GOT to save CASH. Down dead end, out WRONG way and end up in NORTH trying to go EAST, and I DEMAND we get better MAPS. Joe HATES highway to Heilbronn, trucks too slow at 70 kph and cars too fast at 140 kph. Flat countryside and vineyards and grainy clouds that later clear up nicely. Through Crailsheim and get lost AGAIN, going WEST not east, and at noon stop in Schwabish Hall since he wants to see the famous chandelier. Park behind church, great old square with church on HUGE stairs and PERFECTLY picturesque town square and Rathaus and hotels and half-timbered shops. Down to FABULOUS DHF(?) museum in six houses on seven levels, including geology, farmlife, elegant Rococo Musiksaal, rich sleighs, pistol-shop advertising signs, marble and alabaster saints and men eating LEGS, and SOUND tracks in attic of horse-sleigh bells. GREAT place and even a listing for the MASTODON tusk we saw in CHURCH. Out at 1:30 (GREAT views of bridges across hills and joining houses) and down to wurst lunch and my alcohol-less Claustholer(?) and his beer that made him decidedly loopy, but good for six mark lunch on park border. Back to look at shops and overstay 1:07 deadline for parking to 1:30. Argue about right way to Gross Comburg and try and try two ways and finally find it, park and girl tells us in English how to walk up. Students and school and few tourists. I remember chandelier, which Joe loves, and sexy pulpit-bottom men, but crypt is now less than I remember and the stone-work on vestry towers (not seen before) Joe loves. Around "Rundgang" for plains and houses, and down to car and BACK to Schwabish Hall and AGAIN get lost looking for Dinkelsbuhl. Onto lesser road, which he likes, but goes to right curves too often and goes too FAST, only to be passed by locals going FASTER, but they KNOW the road. Dinkelsbuhl is LOVELY with walls and GREAT wide streets and shops and St. George church and new ironwork and St. Sebastian altar and sexy tourists. Out to walk up hill to tower and down to dessert of vanilla sauce on apple tart for me and plum tart for him and coffee and hot chocolate for twenty marks. Back to car about 4 PM, he awake from coffee, and drive to Nordlingen, that looks quiet and BORING, so we climb St. Michael's tower, I take photos, and down at 6 to decide to leave for Nederbron, even passing THAT because there are no hotels, and get to Heidesheim; it's dark at 7 PM and find Rahn Hotel for 120 mark room that Joe's too exhausted from 292-foot tower to refuse. GREAT salads and toughish pork cutlet for me (but BIG) and good beef for him, his huge bread balls and much of my french fries uneaten in smoky dining room. They switch a 26 mark wine on us for a thin rosé-type that Joe dislikes but is OK. Up at 10 PM and Act 2 of Peter Sellar's "Cosi" that I like and Joe sleeps through. At 10:30 I shut off TV and lights and he takes glasses off and I'm DEAD to sleep, room nicer than last night's for more marks.

WEDNESDAY,SEPTEMBER 16: Wake at 7 and lay to 7:15, about NINE hours' sleep. Joe snores and wakes at 7:30. We chat, he showers, I write to 8:15 and up to shower. Down to join Joe at 8:35 for four kinds of coldcuts (NOT an egg under the cloth-wing of a dummy chicken) and a roll and mediocre hot chocolate. Check out (they TAKE his Amex card, to his surprise and my pleasure, for 178 marks) and put stuff in car and drive up to Schloss Hellenstein at 9:35 to climb tower and look over cloudy town, then down to FOUR museums: 1) carriages in a four-floor granary with transparent floors in place, 2) the "regular" museum of fossils and native costumes and old artifacts and medieval clothes and toys and rooms, then to tour for 3) Romerbad in GREAT basement display, and to 4) Kunstmuseum to find that the new exhibit isn't done yet. To square for his coffee and my ice and we drive to Aalen to Thermal BATH by mistake first, then to town at 1:40 to find Limes Museum at 1. We FIRST thought the State Theatre might be the Limes Museum and parked there, so we went back and Joe noticed the State Theatre had a restaurant---chairs and tables on a closed EUROPE TRIP WITH JOE (1992) - 3 11/27/92

terrace. I find door "Zur Restaurant" and it's OPEN, so I go up and the RESTAURANT is open. We order a snail Vorspeise and beer, knowing it will be light, and get a TINY piece of quiche that we fear IS it for 12 marks. Ask for the check and she's stunned: "We didn't get our FOOD yet!" Good laugh! Finish lunch by 1:30 and get into the museum for stores and pottery and, yes, only ONE statue Joe thinks is PLASTER. Out about 2:15, WARM, and decide to drive SOUTH to Castle Lichtenstein. LOTS of traffic in Aalen and find directions to Schwabish Gmund for the hill-view of Hohenstauffen. Drive through and around Schwabish Gmund in heavy traffic and get caught behind trucks and he complains about diesel fumes. Try to cool car but we have not got an air conditioner! We're both exasperated before getting to Hohenstauffen, but the hill village, church, and shaded fields are nice as we go to the top, where the haze makes the view clouded. To hilltop in crowds, pee and look at shirtless plump German in ice cream shop, and down to car to find directions to Goppingen on map and down to THAT large town, AGAIN getting lost on way to Kirchlin. Find Uhingen and at LAST a sign to Kirchlin, and there's a long slow road to ANOTHER awful town, and look for Owen, in hills and lost, looking at Neuffen and stark bluffs of Hohenstauffen about 5 PM. Through tiny Bewen and turn back and forth and FINALLY find sign for Urach, and enter town at 5:50, picking up hotel guide at information door, putting in 50 pfennig for parking and off to wander town. Pretty little place, some nice tourists, he loves the fountain and church tower, and into the church, of the Evangelists, at 6 for colored marbles and a nice pulpit-top. Out to feed meter at 6:18 and find a few hotels FULL, so we try a few more and THEY'RE full. He's walking exhausted and finally we try Ratstube for 115 marks and say YES! Back to just-expiring car at 6:40 and drive way around to parking lot and get into small room for booze and TV. I write a bit, watch news, and down to dinner at 7:15, no real SPECIALS, and I have Jagerwallet(?) beef, with GREAT spetzle, and he had fabulously tender and creamy calves' liver and pudding, both with big salads, and a decent red wine for 26 marks, for a total of 73 marks, getting close to $200 for total expense. He enjoys the group at the next tables and I fantasize manageress is gay with tall waitress as lover, and all CLIENTELE as gay. Out about 8:30 to walk almost deserted town, past Chinese restaurant, Four-Seasons restaurant, river and falls and border walk and school and old buildings and church-organ playing, and shops and kids in square, and posters and stations and back to center at 10 to look at TV again; they GOT the message that our room is for two, so we get two NICE towels and Joe gets a pillow and a quilt for his bed. To sleep at 10:45, again exhausted.

THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 17: Wake as Joe gets up at 6:15 to pee, and lie a bit and up at 6:40 to shower and wash hair in the gel for the first time, putting peroxide on the good-looking toe, then Odor Eater, changing underwear and will change shirt, hoping to clean up gray one at Ruth's in Konstanz tomorrow. Out in heat from bathroom heater (hot water ABOUT gave out in good shower-stall) and dress and back into bed to write, since Joe is STILL sleeping. He wakes at 7:45 but is snoring again as I finish to date at 7:50, eager for breakfast and to get into the day! Start reading "In Between the Sheets" in a chair by the bathroom door, the light from the bathroom the only one that wouldn't bother him, and he grumbles into his shower at 8:03 so I can put lights on and start packing. [Restaurant Waaghaus in Gottlieben: Three green cheeses: Fourme d'Albert, Roquefort, Blue d'Auvergne and three creme Brillat basics: for Brie, Camembert, and Chevre. Lachsforellen (Salmon-Trout---fresh-water salmon-like glory for two people) and Perche Almandine, we started with Pfifferlinge (chanterelles) in cream AND pfifferlinge salad, then assorted rich cremes and fruits, mango souffle, and poached pear (which was HARD) and cinnamon ice cream. Best for lots of laughs for 276 Swiss Francs.] Leave at 8:30 for breakfast and get lost (natch) leaving town and drive toward Lichtenstein, see it from below and photo it at 10, and up hills to find entry by 10:50, saying EUROPE TRIP WITH JOE (1992) - 4 11/27/92

twenty minutes til tour. Lots of people in little rooms and great views. Out at 11:50 and down toward Castle Hohenzollern, getting there at 1 and having tour at 1:30 after walking up steep hill. Tour til 2:15 and have wurst and beer in open terrace and down toward Rottweil at 3. Climb hill to Hochturm and down to church, second church, and schnickel and tea at 4, then to Benedictine Monastery at 4:55, just closing, but we get in and out by 5:10 and start toward Baden Baden. Up to Fremdenstadt OK but to Bad Wildbad and traffic and twisty road and then TUNNEL under main part of town and BACK to park and look at Congress Hall and State Theatre and to Information desk and find that the concert isn't at Alte Banhof but AT Concert Salle IN Casino! Dash over at 7:50 and woman says "Ruth!" and HUGS Joe and it's James and Susan from Regensburg for the show. I video three pieces and we're out at 10:30 to Casino restaurant. NO daily menu, and soup for 4.50 is TINY, but Italian plate is OK and special-for-us hot fudge is GREAT. Public relations woman gets us a room "for 120" at 11 PM and Joe gets key and we're there at 11:40. I FALL into bed and sleep INSTANTLY.

FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 18: Up at 7:50 and Joe's EATEN and there's no water. Breakfast and pay 150 marks, and I phone Auberge de L'Ill for 12:30 lunch! Drive 10:15 to Selestat and Illhaursen at 12:10. Groseille in champagne for Joe and kir for me in the garden, then GREAT dinner to 3 PM. Down to Colmar for Issenheim altarpiece and frescos and courtyard and photos and video and leave at 4 to get to car and drive to Frieburg at 5 to TERRIBLE traffic to 6, then hit main road to Konstanz and get in at 7:20, Joe almost falling asleep. She's not there when we get in, but arrives after Joe goes to john and I'm in the john. He wants no more food, so we talk, drink, and have meatballs and Italian sausage and bread about 9:30, and fix up beds and sofa in room and get to sleep at 10:40 after doing teeth completely, even though I'm exhausted.

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 19: Up at 7:40 and STILL feel tired. Shower and chat while Joe goes for cheese and ham and rolls, and we talk til 10 AM, then we're out to walk town, seeing shopping centers and the old church, which Joe loves for sketchy frescos and old bronze plates he thinks are new. To train station for Joe to change $100 for 71 marks and 60 Swiss Francs for $50 each. I try buying three-mark plug but it doesn't fit and I return it as Joe realizes he has no passport! BACK to house and then to car and drive south to St. Gallen. I'm TIRED and haze is blocking sea and mountain views, but we get there at 1 PM and try for map at train station and I ask at hotel and try "Do It Yourself" on floor 1 for plug and STILL not get! Out to walk to the Cloister for two weddings outside churches and we look at smelly bar at 2:30 for restaurant and see fourth-floor restaurant in Movenpick and up for Joe's salad and my iced tea and ham sandwich and plum tart for 9.50, Joe's salad and beer 9.30, and to toilet and down to Cloister and past barrier to altar and GREAT choir stalls and inlaid wood and odd gray-green decor around dark paintings. Out to Stiftbibliotek and great carvings and old books and out in fifteen minutes to get into stark St. Lawrence church, then buy chestnuts and eat them on way back to car at 4:30. Lost AGAIN on the way back and drive through Goran and find road and Germany at last, and get in at 6 PM, she's back to say we have 7:30 appointment at restaurant [before]. Dress in suit which I've SEWN because I RIPPED back on DOOR handle. Out at 7:15 and get to ROMANTIC restaurant at 7:30, on Rhine, but downstairs is loud and smoky. GREAT Lachsforellen and perch and good wines by Ruth and great food for 272 marks. Back DRUNK and bed 10:30 TIRED.