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FRIDAY, 1/6/06: THREE WEEKS since last NOTEBOOK entry! Did all the above, including going to the Games Group, giving Sherryl her Christmas card after the Games Group, getting a reduction in my price for the New York renewal, and "lots of other things I didn't know then." SINCE then the C.s have been here and gone from their ten-day stay which included lovely trips to Dia: Beacon and Mass Moca. But was I ever happy when they left! Then I had the two main things left to do: type the 2005 LIFELIST and integrate it with 2000-2004 and empty the souvenir shelf, which was far beyond overflowing. Well, I did ALL that, printing the last of the 78 pages of the 2000-2005 LIFELIST, and now wanting to finish this page and print it out so I can process the entire stack. Got the IRS forms from both Federal and NYS, so I got out the receipts today (after collating my dental bills---OVER $5000!---for 2005) and found what I earned, and decided I SHOULD deduct this year, for the first time in ages, and even phoned for forms (which will be sent in 10 days) and publications (which are on back order and will take longer to arrive). Mildred has done yeowoman work in scheduling 9 lunches and a MoMA dinner for restaurant week, and I decided to treat Sherryl with my presence at Brokeback Mountain this afternoon with her promise of finding a good dinner place for afterward. Now 2:25PM and I have to leave about 4:15, leading me to wonder what I'll DO when I finish collating the LIFELIST pages in alphabetic order for the first time since I started. Still not a peep from HRW about the teacher's editions, the first of which is supposedly due precisely a week from now, but I DO expect to get the pages almost any day now and can start working again. Edgardo and Marina helped me catch up with museums by going to the general exhibits while I saw the Redon at MoMA, and we spent their last hours at the Rubin, though I actually wouldn't mind going back to see more of the videos. Greatly relieved to be told I HAD maintained "status quo" with my teeth when Dr. D. said I had NO problems and would next see her in July, at which time I smugly told her I would have traveled to the Caribbean, Morocco, and Kenya. She rolled her eyes. February 13 is the date of my next departure, but it's painless, as it's a boat leaving NYC with Fred. Tempted by SIX trips by Archaeological Tours, but can't expect to find a companion to join me. Shelley pre-took my Caribbean cruise, hating Jamaica and loving Belize and Honduras, which reminds me that I can always go back to checking out more stamp catalogs. Speaking of "checking out" led me to call the changed number for Brooklyn Heights Video and got Marty, who said he IS permanently out of business, and there'd BEEN a sign in the window for the last month and a half, but I just missed those weeks. Now have to see about getting a membership at the place across the street, not to mention reminding myself that I haven't heard from the CD-repair shop down Court Street yet, nor from Owen L., which is beginning to piss me off, particularly when the PC begins giving off louder fan-noises than usual. Can still read the rest of Wolfram, but that's a real chore. May soon have to look into buying more books, or at least seeing which books on my NEW (yet-to-be-typed) list may be available at the library. Down below freezing tonight, a break from the luckily warm weather the Milanese had all the while they were here. Lots of shelves to be denuded of most of their junk, not to mention updating my final Christmas-card list, noting nothing from Midge H. or Jean-Jacques. Then I'll start getting calls for index work beyond the end of January, and I guess I'll take it unless it conflicts with my travel dates. Got an AWFUL arthritic twinge from my right thumb working on taxes in the living room, and DO have death-thoughts almost constantly now that I'm coming onto 70, but still have most of my energy and will remember to go to the gym again tomorrow, per schedule.

MONDAY, 1/16/06: 8:22AM: Just type the horrible frustration dream on DREAMS:1/16/06 and print it out and MUST record the TERRIBLE feelings with which I woke: clutching my head in my hands, remembering the almost-weeping blending into the most DESPERATE sobs crouched on the floor of this impossibly narrow jewelry shop which I couldn't find my way out of---thinking this must SOMEHOW reflect on my LIFE, nearing 70 years of age, fearing possible approaches of Alzheimer's, not knowing how to balance work with earnings with taxes with trips with my own mental stability and FEAR of this screaming-weeping frustration in my REAL life as well as in my dream life. Think that I MUST have saved Doctor Whoever's name---J.!---at HIP to get another blast of tranquilizer to lift me out of this AWFUL feeling of fruitless frustration, thinking at first blast to just STOP work COMPLETELY and devoting myself ENTIRELY to travel, so that maybe I'll be relieved from this crushing frustration HERE (no sooner do I fix the computer but the broiler-oven breaks; no sooner do I finish stamps for the time being when my ROCKER breaks finally, though I DO think that maybe I have ENOUGH chairs and I can just throw it OUT [and Spartacus concurs] and make a little more room in my living room for LIVING!) to even DYING on some plane trip to heaven-knows-where in my desperation to fill in my fruitless life: never married, no children, no great circle of friends---and even the friends I HAVE are largely older than I (Spartacus, Mildred), or sicker than I and likely to die sooner (Shelley, Sherryl), or just not terribly attractive friends (Ken, Vicki, Charles). Type this by 8:28AM, sitting huddled in my bathrobe and slippers against the dark cold coming from the draped window with 26° temperatures outside in this mid-January cold spell breaking truly autumnal weather all the while the C.s were here to take my mind away from my solitary plights. Now I have to shit and blow my nose and get into my day, assuming HRW won't be working on Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, and that the Met Museum is IN FACT open so that I can see the last display-day of the Egyptian Art of Medicine, which Spartacus perversely said was a PERMANENT display, and I didn't even BOTHER to get the Met Calendar with its STATEMENT that it's closing today, but maybe that's just the borrow from the National Academy of Medicine, or whatever, and he's right anyway. Just PRINT this out and TRY to get on with a CHEERIER day!!

FRIDAY, 1/27/06: 9AM: Feel CONSIDERABLY better than I did on Monday! DID actually DECIDE to stop work (unless some HUGELY lucrative or interesting job is offered) and do MORE trips, actually planning to fit in the May 20-June 19 back-to-back Grand European Travel trips by myself, since Paul M. hasn't called back YET. Just call him AGAIN and mention that his cell phone doesn't even RING to LET him pick up if he wants. Jerked off feelingly, yet DIFFERENTLY, this morning, sent off the penultimate HRW TE index, which may be the penultimate index OF ALL TIME! Fantasized about actually TRYING what I'd thought about trying before: just GO to some interesting starting point (western Africa, New Guinea, Panama) and PICK UP AS MANY NEW COUNTRIES AS I CAN, flying at whim and opportunity from place to place, credit-carding everything so I don't have to worry about carrying cash to be robbed of, and NOW think AGAIN of checking out the Century Club or some organization like it, which probably STILL puts together out-of-the-way trips for people JUST LIKE ME, interested in checking off another new country seen. So, since it appears that indexing is in the past, my life becomes devoted to TWO THINGS: 1) travel, 2) my website! Call John about my trip, and he RAVES about Pilates, so much so that I take down a note that the easier of the two free weekly classes at the gym is one hour at 11:30 Friday morning, and I'm almost tempted to substitute THAT for my GYM today! It's now 9:30 and I'll have breakfast and figure out what to do with the rest of the day until Charles and Sherryl call and we get to the Brooklyn Botanic Garden, as I hope. Leaving the bedroom radiator on more makes typing and desk-doing much more comfortable, but I should see about humidifying this room, too. Now eager to pee (DO I pee more than 8 times a day?) and breakfast.

TUESDAY, 1/31/06: 10:34AM: Called Tica to tell about the Vietnamese New Year menu from the Beard last night, and she hadn't gotten my Monday's e-mail of Grade 8 TE! Resend it, then e-mail Sandy about Alinea and Moto in Chicago, and get a message from Tica that she finally got the file. She also said that I could throw out the SE pages. Paul M. called and said the ONLY place he wanted to go overseas was a safari in Black Africa and to Butchart Gardens in Vancouver. Told him my Scandinavian trip (which he has NO interest in) was changed to a German boat ride. Called Fred and said the May 13 departure was too early, and he was tied up and said he'd call me back later. Transcribed my AlphaSmart dream [DREAMS:1/31/06], made a 1:15PM C. appointment for my "palpitations and erratic pulse" worries, and hope to get to lunch by 2PM. Also Go Ahead said they'd send a THIRD try at visa forms since I said I did NOT want the number for the Kenya office itself, THEY should send the forms they are SUPPOSED to send, and she apologized and said she'd send them, again, having sent another set on 1/23, but it's been OVER a week!

WEDNESDAY, 2/1/06: 9:03AM: Again transcribed a dream on DREAMS:2/1/06, and came back here to record my busyness (as opposed to my business): went to Pilates at 11:30AM Friday and after about half an hour my stomach just PROTESTED against curling up any more, and I started sweating and feeling short of breath and light-headed and even got to the point of nausea, fearing I might actually vomit if I keep bearing down on my stomach, so I just lay for much of the last half-hour, told John about it, who said I should ask the teacher, and she immediately asks if I have high blood pressure. I say no, so she says it's just a matter of getting used to it, and I should be acclimated in about ten weeks. But the nausea lasts for the next few days, really feeling pretty awful, and I also feel my heart doing what seem like palpitations a few mornings after, and I start to worry. Talk to John and he says I should certainly return for the Tuesday 11AM session, just stopping when I feel tired, and it seems I participate a bit LONGER, but we start at 11:05 and by 11:34 I look at my watch and wish we were finished, and stop doing anything that involves curling the stomach, but even the stretches seem to make me break into a cold sweat and I'm having trouble breathing, and am so glad that it's over at 12:24PM that I bumble home and lie down for about 20 minutes, then dress for Il Giglio at 2PM and go to C. at 1:05 for my 1:15 appointment and he takes me at 1:13 and I'm out at 1:17, even going to Spartacus's to go to the restaurant together, but he wants to go to Montague Street, so I say we'll meet at the restaurant and go back to my place for ten minutes, getting first, again, to the restaurant. C. said I should NOT do Pilates because of my CHOLESTEROL! I thought it was under control, but I was so shocked by what he said that I got my blood-pressure reading ("Normal," he said) of 130/80 and was told my heartbeat was OK, it was just "extra beats," which I should tell him about if it starts happening every day, not just a few times a month as I reported to him. At first think I'll just STOP the Pilates, but then it DOES feel like it could be of benefit to my body, and maybe I'll just continue slowly to see if I get accustomed to it: maybe it'll even HELP my cholesterol-blocked arteries? Think to go to Google Pilates and cholesterol and see if anything comes up. Lots of things on my mind: 1) don't have ANY information about the cruise, 2) recheck the repair, 3) call Tristan for his website address, 4) clip my toenails, 5) get a haircut, 6) Perry Street at 3PM, 7) bloodwork from slip C. gave me yesterday, 8) check Audience Extras now that I have the time, 9) throw out the SE manuscripts, and 10) probably many other things I can't think of, like finishing Helprin's Freddy and Fredricka before going on the cruise, since it's due while I'm away. Getting bored already with noting down every dream, but hope to get into final stamp-counts so I can get collection appraised and maybe sold, and then get into the technical end of my upcoming website in earnest, since that'll be the brunt of my efforts not connected with planning, traveling, or recording travel events.

THURSDAY, 2/2/06: 9:51AM: Type my dream [DREAMS:2/2/06] after getting up at 8:30 and shitting, then playing Spider from 9:07-9:45, getting up to 48.002%, and note these activities from yesterday, in my continuing attempt to "do something useful" even after I've stopped indexing. Search monomaniacally through all the things I have to put away to find the PRECISE card with Louise F.'s number from Springer to phone to say I can't take her big (messy) index in mid-February. Dial the wrong number (460-7658) because I misread my card, but thank goodness the line signals busy. Leave word with her. Yesterday I noted the following: 1) type dreams and notebook, 2) Google "Pilates and cholesterol" and it HELPS, not hurts, 3) Audience Extras has nothing, or Hecuba for Sherryl tonight or tomorrow on St. Mark's Place? 4) look at my Met Museum site to 10:25AM, 5) check e-mail to 10:35, Juno AGAIN "reordering my files" so I have ANOTHER reconstructed file to get rid of messages from, 6) get blood test and groceries to 11:45, 7) breakfast and TV to 1, 8) Fred called and he has cruise information, which this morning I determine that he leave at Beard tomorrow lunch so I can pick it up before going to Milos before going to nude photos on 5th and 56th, 9) play Spider until I have to leave to Perry Street at 3PM, nice place, good food, delicious Burnt Orange Elderflower Cosmo for $11 in an awkward but beautiful glass, and walk across to various architectural viewings with Charles to Magnolia, where I spend $2.50 on a nut-covered white-chocolate-frosted brownie, after buying Our Paris by Edmund White for $7.56 (getting lots more change to add to the 50¢ change from Magnolia) at the Biography Bookshop, then SHIT MY PANTS on Bleecker Street on the way to the subway, puzzling Charles by my pause and awkwardness, but there's nothing I can do but stand on the subway and hope it doesn't leak down my pants before I get home, and the local comes at Bleecker and the express comes at Chambers and I stand all the way home and get my mail after another wet spurt into my still-holding shorts, and upstairs to sit on the pot and shit and wash out my underwear and let my black pants dry before washing them this morning, hoping they won't stink noticeably when I wear them to Cafe Boulud this afternoon, and then start Spider at 7:12PM to 10:39PM (3:26!) when I have the last of my moldy salad and last of the boiled ham for dinner, and more ice cream, and it dawns on me that it was the ICE CREAM that caused me to shit my pants from my indulgence in the Cherry Chocolate Ripple almost-pint at 1PM yesterday after my late breakfast, while watching various National Geographic specials on tape. Got to bed at 12:15 and woke for the dream, as above, and finish this now at 10:10AM, ready for MORE phone calls.

FRIDAY, 2/3/06: 12:15PM: Busy, busy! Yesterday: 1) checked, who said they'd call back (they didn't), 2) left word with Tristan, what's the website address? 3) Sherryl was busy and didn't want to see Hecuba, 4) confirmed Gilt for Saturday, 5) called Fred to 10:40AM, then PAID for the entire Germany cruise with my Visa! 6) Called C. at 11:15 about blood results, but he said to call back tomorrow, which I did, and they had to FAX the results, since they weren't on his computer, and cholesterol is good at 174, triglycerides good at 185, LDL is 102, HDL is 35, which WAS higher, so Zetia IS working. 7) Took sheets off for laundry, 8) clip toenails, 9) verify that I have to go IN to Ridgewood if I want to open a checking account for my CD, go to gym and get back to stand at the elevator at 1:40 and think, "Is it REALLY Bouley for lunch?" and it's CAFE BOULUD! Phone to say I'll be late, get there at the DOT of 2:30, catch up with Mildred (who's not coming today) and Rachel, back to read to 6:25, Spider 6:25-7:30, Charles calls for Mormon tonight, watch TV 8-9 that I'd seen before, feel like bed but SPIDER to 1:15AM to 48.03. Up at 6:50 with my mind INSISTING on working on the website, and send Tristan a DYNAMITE memo as website page 4, clear up mess, mail 3 bills, call Marj to tell of website but she can't do Internet, decide on NO Pilates today, call AGAIN for a WCB, fill my Schwab with Mutual Funds, Spider 11:30-12:15, and then finish with this at 12:25PM ready to throw out SE pages and get INTO day!

SATURDAY, 2/11/06: 8:53AM: Did lots last week: took library books back, cleared up multiple mail-piles, filling out forms for the cruise TOMORROW, finding that I DO have enough time to get my Kenya visas even WITH the 40-day minimum period, hope that my cold, which I began on Saturday or Sunday, is finally waning, with a glorious cough-free night from 12:10AM to 8:15AM even without a pee, happy from dinner, very peaceful and pleasant, at Carolyn's last night with my bottle of Asti and her salmon and salad and yam and my cakes and ice cream. Frequency of coughing today will dictate whether I need to buy more cold/cough medicines for the trip. Very little anticipation, because I'm not flying and because I'm (hopefully) settling into my new lifestyle of website-working and traveling. Found many of the missing pages from the Shorter Fiction files I sent to Tristan in Rich Text Format yesterday in file N2, which I'll send today. Transcribed dream [DREAMS:2/11/06], had a good shit, and will now settle in with the Times, feeling almost totally recovered from cold, ready for life! TRAVEL:CARIBCR

WEDNESDAY, 3/1/06: 8:35AM: Ceremonially change the calendar-page from February to March. Decide to look at the end of TR\CARIBCR and see what should be duplicated here, since it's really AFTER the trip and part of this, and glad to find that it's less than a page there, which is reproduced here: arrive at 101 Clark Street at 10:19AM, less than 20 minutes from the pier! Give Fred $25 to make our wine bills even, and the taxi was about $18.25 when I got off, so he can't pay MUCH more than $25. Into lobby and Ron says, "Welcome back," and hands me a neat packet of mail and I get up to my very hot rooms to see that I have notes from door, and 11 phone messages, and finish this in my bedroom (having put the curtain back up) at 10:32, officially back from the trip! Then send this and my dreams from the AlphaSmart to WordPerfect and clear the AlphaSmart. Phone most of the messages (which were 1) Fred, 2) Postal service for my new Visa number, 3) Hadn't paid my Visa bill, which Raymond takes my check info for, waiving my late fee AND my phone check-pay fee of $17.50, 4) Beard confirmation for tonight, 5) Ken that I got his messages (3 of them), and rest of 11 duplicates or junk). Call Arnold about 11:15, he recommends RFK, which I intend to share with Sherryl if she wants to, and talk to him until 12:08PM. Clear off the Spiders (2 left on) by 12:53 and handle 52 e-mails to 1:25, including calling Beard for Monday's frequent-diner bargain. Look at my website to 1:37, talk to Carolyn to 1:47, leave word with Shelley and Sherryl and Charles, talk to Mildred to 2:05, Tristan to 2:17, then have lunch while looking at the single New York magazine that came in the first stack of mail, am doing the puzzle when Paul calls from Paris and I say I'll be away the first part of April, when he wanted to come to NYC, and we leave it at his possible coming in July or August. Look through the mail to 4PM, feel tired and nauseous from "boat motion," and lie down for a bit, but think I'd feel better doing Taipei, which I do until 6:25, when I get ready for the Beard, getting there at 7 to find Ken already there, give him his check for $2437 for the Morocco trip, and have a mediocre dinner with Dorothy leaving and chatting with Doctor Jack and consulting with Doctor Clem that the first Beard president's name was Peter Kump. Leave about 10:30 and get back to another stack of mail from my box, which I leave for tomorrow, and get to bed at 11:12PM, still rocking from the boat.

Notes from FRIDAY, 2/24/06: Wake at 7:12, cum from 7:30-8AM, do a Zone-number calculation to 8:45AM, and catch up with dreams and this by 9:15AM, having made an 11-item do-list for today: 1) Unpack, 2) Edit CARIBCR and DREAMS, 3) Send slides, 4) Send camera, 5) Set up Tibet slides, 6) See Bodies show, 7) Sherryl/RFK?, 8) Shelley WCB?, 9) Call John, 10) Call Fred/money?, 11) Read Times. Add 7 items through the day as I need them: 12) E-mail Susie re Tuesday, 13) Call Charles about Tuesday and Saturday dance, 14) Feb 27 New York magazine? 15) New mail, 16) Breakfast, 17) Sun puzzles, 18) Pork done. Do 9) Call John to 9:50AM, 13) Call Charles LW 9:52, 16) Breakfast to 10:05, 15) New mail to 10:40, 11) Read 2/12 Times by 11:20, 17) Sun puzzle by 12:36, 7) Sherryl/RFK? wasn't on, but I got a dance program at the Joyce at 2, which I'm currently slightly late for, 18) pork done by 2:40, eating while reading magazines, 14) New York magazine Arnold didn't get, either, 11) finish 2/19 Times and puzzles by 6:20, then RFK.

Notes from SATURDAY, 2/25/06: Wake at 7:30, doing Actualism, then 3 Times puzzles and part of Times to 11:30, then talk to Charles and Arnold and put some things away, calculating how much money I spent on trip ($113), and now at 12:45PM get ready to meet Spartacus at 1:05 for Joyce dance with Sherryl. Danzahoy poor, we get to 5 Ninth for lunch menu, back to watch Olympics tape to 7, slow subway to City Center for Dance Kings with Charles and late fish and chips at Connolly's.

Notes from SUNDAY, 2/26/06: Do stuff and phone Fred to find that I owe him $2.70, NOT charging him half the tips I left on wine-bills for OUR wine, and to gym, and e-mail Susie, who can't come to slides, and then MAN makes me VERY drunk and bed at 8:30PM!!

Notes from MONDAY, 2/27/06: Watch Olympics and Volcano in NY and finish this to 4:15PM. Set up Tibet slides for tomorrow to 6:25 and get to Beard with Anita F. and her friend Andrea and the Coles (are these the Cohls who show slides 3/21 at Tuesday Evening Hour?) for very good food from Vie, and right to bed.

Notes from TUESDAY, 2/28/06: After being warned last night at Beard, I checked with Visa and HSBC to find that my check-by-phone WAS legitimate and not a scam, thank goodness. Finally finish the last of the unpacking to get apartment ready for crowd who might come here with John's lunch plans after the Tibet slides. Phone Verizon, who sends me back to Cleartel to blame when I'm not listed AT ALL in current Verizon White Pages. Sort through mail and get three checks to deposit for $9,000+, find I have to TAKE IN camera for developing, Shelley gets back from HER cruise to Florida and phones, and then I phone her back to say I'm missing a page from Carol's e-mail that she mailed me a duplicate page 3 of. Sort rest of pile into separate piles and find that I missed logging check #1448 for $135. Show slides to about 15 old people, with John, Bill, and Carolyn in attendance, having a veggie burger at Park Plaza with Carolyn afterwards, getting a soppy message from Spartacus, who decided not to attend. Look through current stack of mail, New York (which will increase to January 2011 only in 2-3 months, still on stack to be checked) and New Yorker finally coming on Tuesday with lots of other mail. Then watch Monty Python, Charlie Rose with three female Academy Award nominees, some National Geographic, and get to bed at 12:10AM.

Notes from WEDNESDAY, 3/1/06: 9:05AM: Check Friday's do-list to find that I've not yet finished 2) Edit CARIBCR, 4) Take in camera, and 6) See Bodies show, which I think might end 3/3. Make new WED do-list with those as 1-3. Boat-motion nausea finally stopped around Sunday, but I had to contend with Sunday's MAN hangover on Monday, and I still need to see C. about an MRI of my carotid arteries. Gym and IMAX on schedule today. Had two or three dreams that I vaguely remembered when I woke, but decided they were trivial and not worth recording. Finish and clip interesting New York magazine blogging article while shitting loosely because of all the eggnog ice cream I ate last night. Hope to do lots of odds and ends today (deposit checks, finish CARIBCR listings in datebook and slide-list, last of mail-stacks from desk, phone Tristan about his message yesterday about sub-categorizing short fiction) and see the Bodies exhibit tomorrow. Then set up Tibet night-show. Want to get to the bottom of this page. They're still working on the garage-top next door, still not finished building up and tearing down walls in central space. Clouds come and go over Brooklyn Heights: very dramatic. Looks like the new building to the north will NOT block out the Citicorp Building in Queens. Fascinating ship-tug-barge traffic in the East River out my window, which may soon be replaced, as there's only ONE hurdle left for the project to leap before it can begin. Now THIS month I turn 70 and leave for Morocco, so there's lots to do before that, including reordering two publications from IRS which haven't arrived in TWO MONTHS! And going for checkup with G. And calling again about DVD-player repair. So my WED do-list is ALREADY up to 10 items! And I can print this out and have breakfast now at 9:25AM, now well into today!

THURSDAY, 3/2/06: 9:30AM: Finally finish typing the CARIBCR slides and Summary page, and think to do this whole page, but I'm hungry for breakfast and decide I can print out ALL of CARIBCR now, clearing Summary page from printer so I can update calendar and FINISH with the trip! Until slides and prints, of course.

MONDAY, 3/6/06: 12:05PM: Finished another "did you get my memo?" phone call to Tris, and he accepts the way it's going, though he says some "surface changes" might be necessary, like going to ANOTHER page before being hit by the three major choices on the Zone page. Flabbergasted yesterday when, in talking about the "one screen per page" nicety, he said on his LARGER monitor he got MOST of the text on the Welcome page, whereas I just got the FIRST line of text, though he said he could TRY to tailor the pages to fit onto a 15" screen, which I have and which he said was probably the average out there now. Also finished regenerating TRISMEMO after DESTROYING it in creating the revised TRISMEM I sent him yesterday, covering up the old before I realized I wanted to SAVE it for the HISTORY archive in the zone. Started cataloging the still-not-specified button-pages past the 33 I have now, when I decided I HAVE to get some of this PROGRESS down on paper (to mix a metaphor, since I'm typing, not writing it down on paper). WEDNESDAY do-list extension included 4) See C. about carotid arteries, 5) Gym, 6) Imax/Spart/7PM, 7) Set up Tibet night-show, 8) Reorder 2 IRS pubs, 9) G. checkup, 10) DVD repair, and 11) Pick up photos. Do 2 (overnight isn't working, pick it up on Friday), 6 (Deep Sea 3-D is pretty good, and Dallas BBQ was good as usual beforehand), and 8 (they said they'd "expedite" the two they have, but one publication is STILL on back order!!!) on Wednesday, and hope I can do ANOTHER three on Thursday. Do 1 (finishing the trip except for slides and Visa bills), 3 (really incredible Bodies show, much more elaborate than Mildred indicated), and 5 (after 4 days, ass bleeding, crotch rotting enough to use powder when I get back) on Thursday. Then Friday do 9 (getting my FIRST appointment all next week, on Wednesday at 11AM); 10, phoning to find they can't repair it, so I take my forms to Ridgewood and get my account switched from savings to checking so I can get my interest OUT in good time, negating a $3/month fee by doing on-line checking, which I sign up for on Sunday, and picking up my 16# Go-video, which feels much heavier than that on the long, windy way back on Friday afternoon; and 11, only to find they're not back yet and I should come in on SUNDAY, which I do before the gym to find it's not back YET! Pissed! Then worked on 7 to find that Ken could only make it 3/9, 22, or 23; Stephanie couldn't make ANY of those, so I decide it should be the 9th, leaving word with Shelley and Tristan, and later having a tentative 6: 1) me, 2) Ken, 3) Arnold, 4) Tristan, 5) Steve H., and 6) Shelley, with no's from Sherryl, Mildred, Fred, Judy G., and Piri. Then Ken says no on Saturday because his nephew is here---we're down to only 5---then YES on Sunday when he ASKS his nephew, who shows him photos (his FATHER is a photographer) and he says YES, so we're now 7, with Owen and Dr. D. yet to respond. This morning I looked at three Tibet and China videos, ready to show bits to the if-willing group. Did lots of Spider on Thursday and Friday, and on Saturday watched lots of taped Sci Fi channel series which are due to end for the season this Friday. Saturday I also did a rough flowchart of the Zone pages and wrote a memo to Tris: TRISMEMO, then revised it on Sunday for TRISMEM, both to appear sequentially in HISTORY. Worked on it a bit this morning before phoning Spartacus to get his Panasonic model number and relaying it to Expert for pricing so I can GET a DVD that works WITH his unit. Saturday spent LOTS of time with the three puzzles, the Saturday Times one of the hardest yet, lots of EB volumes spread around for Imari and Edward ROSCOE Murrow's middle name, and TV-book for Siegel question, finally finishing about 2:30PM. Sunday's Times went quickly, as did the Academy Awards with the surprise of Crash for best picture, which I don't even care to see. Finish this at 12:42PM debating calling C., the last item on my do-list now.

WEDNESDAY, 3/8/06: 8:55AM: Perfect day yesterday: made a 10-point do-list and crossed off EVERY ONE before the day was over: 1) check Adorama hours, and got that they were open till 6:30, convenient since Spartacus and I were going to the Joyce that night for Dance Brazil, but then I suggested dinner at Blue 9 Burger, the last of the 2004 restaurants on my diminishing list, and he agreed to meet there at 6:05, saying that I could use my subway transfer on the 14th Street bus to cover half the extra walk. 2) SAGE for lawyer: the idea hit me yesterday morning as I lay in bed, jotting it down on the list near the top, and when I went down for yesterday's mail, there was a monthly calendar from SAGE with the Legal-help time spelled out as the third Tuesday, so I called and got a 5PM appointment on 3/21 to see if Peg M. could advise me on the exact legal wording of my will, as John so insisted. 3) file all Cadman shelf, throwing lots of pages away, which I incorporated with other stuff to take out to the disposal room later last night, and finding room in my big filing cabinet for what I wanted to save, not really sure WHERE we were on the Feasibility Study and what the next step might be. 4) file travel shelves, throwing lots of stuff away, filing six items in the permanent file section of Dennis's smaller files, and still having an almost-full shelf of possible future travel. 5) Visa bills away, simply stuffing 2005 bills and receipts on top of the old file in the living-room bookshelf. 6) find Census-2028, since the file of it in MY was corrupted and unreadable, and found it in TWO places: JV\LF31 from John's typing of it, and in AR\LTC from my archiving of it, nice to know. 7) catalog all diskettes, erasing outmoded saves, putting archival disks away in the proper boxes, and putting all the empties and current saves in the container meant for them, rather than having a tippety stack on top of the container with unknown contents. 8) get the amount of my Citi check, easily enough, for $106 and change, by phoning the HSBC number. 9) start taxes, which I finessed, just to let me know that I have to start working with them, by putting them out on a stack on my newly denuded-of-HRW-work worktable so that I knew they were priority, as this morning I returned the scanner to its place of priority on the table, but farthest away, near the outmoded TV set. 10) Meet Arnold for dinner, which I did after getting 20 rolls of film and 20 mailers for just over $200, or $10/roll, or just over 25¢/slide, at Adorama, and sitting for about 20 minutes in Union Square Park because I was early to the restaurant, which was empty when we went in at 6:06 but full by the time we left 45 minutes later, and then bussed to 8th Avenue to look into the new Balducci's to find they didn't carry elderflower concentrate, looked at the now-closed Chinita Linda to find they didn't say they were moving nearby, and found another junky egg-foo-yung place about three blocks north on 8th Avenue on the same side as the Joyce. Dance Brazil was infectiously joyous, its 66-minute program crammed with inventive choreography (loved the knee-lift jump slightly askew with an appealing head-turn to the audience at the top of the jump; and being able to identify the smallest, most appealingly built dancer because he was named in the program as Pequeño). Home to pick up mail, do the New York puzzle, and get to bed after watching TV to brush my teeth for the penultimate time before having my checkup with Dr. G. at 11AM today, which I'll do after finishing this, having brushed my teeth for the ultimate time after breakfast this morning, and going to the gym, which I'll depart for now, earlier than usual, at 9:15AM.

THURSDAY, 3/9/06: 9:20AM: Yesterday's gym and G. checkup were good, but not getting home to sudoku in the Sun from 1-6PM! Then transferred many more files to RTF in preparation for Carolyn and Tristan over this evening, late dinner, finished Edmund White's Our Paris, and bed at midnight. Then made a 9-point list before getting out of bed at 8: 1) clip toenails, 2) add rest of MY to RTF files, 3) CD of RTFs to Tristan, 4) look at taxes, 5) clean for tonight, 6) prepare for slide-show, 7) get groceries, 8) update restaurant list (done at 9AM), and 9) update book list (done at 9:20); hungry for breakfast!

FRIDAY, 3/10/06: 11:08PM: Busy days! Yesterday breakfast followed by some cleaning, then called Rita 11-11:50AM to ask about her leg, tell her about her taking over my website after Carolyn and Tristan die, then start setting up slides, eat a late lunch, bitch to Spartacus about nonsense questions while I'm washing dishes, but then phone him after I decide I'm not going to grocery store, Carolyn isn't coming over, nor is Tristan because his car's broken down, Heather calls to say she has class, I add rest of "MY" to RTF files by 12:15 and do CD of RTFs to Tristan by 12:40, get ready for slides, and only Steve H., Arnold, Shelley, and Ken come over; slides go fast to 8:15, show some videos, Shelley leaves, Ken keeps saying he's hungry, had passed Sea Asian and liked it, and it turns out well for us four guys till 10:30, and I'm tired, but play a bit of Spider before bed about 11:55PM. Wake and cum very nicely, great feeling, then breakfast, clean up from last night until 10:30, file the Beard menus until 11:45, find that the temperature will be 72° and call Sherryl to find she's feeling weak, Charles to get no answer, work on IRS to find that I don't have to fill out expense form, but have to check stocks because I'm pretty sure I sold some for capital gains, but I can't prove it until I check it out tomorrow, and leave for Brooklyn Botanic Garden in shirtsleeves, wonderful in sun, thousands of crocuses, about a dozen other types of flowers including tiny early daffodils just as I'm leaving from 1:15-2:55PM, stop to get groceries, home to fail to get Measure for Pleasure for Sunday as Spartacus did, Carolyn over at 4:15 to go through saves and e-mails to Tristan when I'm dead, then looks at and takes a copy of my page specs, looks greedily at my Table of Contents, then spends an hour cleaning the air purifier she insisted I get, while I finish the Sun puzzle and continue on the five-star difficult sudoku, finishing at 10:50. Put stuff away in stacks, make out a three-point list for tomorrow of 1) look at stocks (before finishing taxes), 2) gym at noon, and 3) Sherryl at 2:30. Tired and sticky-warm at 61° at 11:20PM, having had windows open all day, but not definitely ready for bed. Maybe after Spider, playing a LONG time.

MONDAY, 3/13/06: 9:10PM: Saturday finish the stocks, ask for library books, start the taxes, get to gym just after noon and get to Sherryl’s to see a show with mediocre puppets in the park, and then we go to her place for pecan pie, vanilla ice cream and blueberries on a blueberry-blue plate. Home and WANT to work on taxes more, but do all the puzzles, watch TV, and bed. Sunday finish the Times, do more taxes, and decide to get money from required distributions from IRA and Keogh to PAY for the IRAs and Keoghs! Make a list for Monday: 1) Expert: price includes tax and delivery for $310 Panasonic? 2) Corrections to Tris, 3) e-mail for library, 4) C.: bloodwork? Monday call Brooke M. and she solves all my problems, but when I call Indiana for faxing, they say I can take fax to BROOKE and they'll get it much faster, so I call C. for bloodwork at 11:20: no anemia, sugar OK, kidneys OK, call Spartacus and do thing with Best Buy, try calling them but only get continual rings, take form in to a BEAUTIFUL Brooke M., BUY a Panasonic with a 4-year guarantee, home to get Spartacus in to try to wire it up, then to his place to phone to try to wire it up, then back here to try to wire it up, but I have to get to Azul Bistro for Mildred at 6:15 for mediocre one-plate parrillada, home at 8:30 to play Spider and catch up with this by 9:20, ready to watch DVDs on MY SET!!

TUESDAY, 3/14/06: List for day all completed: 1) get library books at 2:45PM, 2) shave at 12:10PM, 3) throw out Westinghouse box at 2:35PM, 4) Brooke: what exactly next? and mail her IRA distribution letter as I go to gym and do other things before back to read mail and do Sun puzzle and sudoku easily, typing this at 5:40PM, ready for dinner before opera starts at 7:30PM, thinking of Charles when the phone rings and I think, "That's Charles!" but it's EDGARDO: with Marina on vacation with her sisters in Israel he's feeling lonely and called to hear a friendly voice. Nice! Lastly, listly, 5) left word with Fred to thank him for 4 Caribbean cruise photos, one particularly nice of him. Mazeppa tonight and rest of old credit-card bills to file, not finished today.

THURSDAY, 3/16/06: 11:45AM: SHOULD have called Charles Tuesday, since he thought the opera was WEDNESDAY and didn't show UP for it! Pity, since Mazeppa was spectacular: good singing, great sets, enormously kitschy ballet that I think was cut in the Kirov production in 1998, and 100+ in the orchestra for the "Battle of Poltava" prelude to Act III making a wonderful sound under Gergiev. Had a five-item do-list for Wednesday: 1) clear table, which I did by 5:15PM, 2) sort "do stack" left for today, 3) find Keogh "sell" by 1:30, taking over an hour to get to my Schwab website, having to phone an 800 number for a temporary password since I'd looked at the site before with the user ID of 560447247, and then go through a hassle looking for a symbol for EOP Operating, finding that I have to do it through the bond-trading department ANYWAY, getting a $55 fee instead of the "over $100" that Brooke threatened, and find it will clear so that I can phone Monday to transfer the cash to my Schwab One account. 4) Spartacus: how to schedule CHANNELS (since I set the channel for 3 and the TV on 13, lucky since 13 is my default-on setting, so I DID get the Jackie Gleason program that I wanted, which I watched yesterday morning while eating breakfast), and he tells me I have to schedule BOTH the DVD AND the cable box, a pain, explained by 11:30AM. Spartacus calls about HIS plan's having Measure for Pleasure (which was NOT based on Measure for Measure: it turns out I saw Measure for Measure ONLY in Central Park in 1996, and NOT later [listed, anyway] on TV), so I added 5) pick up his slip, which I did at 4PM, finding it was QUITE cold out, and picking up the mail to find I STILL didn't get the travel slides which I sent out over three weeks ago. Still lots of things to do, but had a late lunch and got out to the Papp for the tickets and a very funny play with Charles, and then good burgers at Johnny Rockets afterward, being the last clients in at 10:45 and having the doors locked behind us at 11:35 after finishing my mediocre "Smoke" burger and a good Butterfingers milk shake, and erroneously got off the N train at City Hall, thinking it might go over the bridge, when City Hall is PAST the bridge turn-off, and late-night the N goes over the bridge, but late-night is defined as midnight on the subway map, and it does NOT make it clear whether it's the bridge or the tunnel. Then added more items to the do-list for today, 6) calling for the Games Group at 10:30, 9) testing that the DVD+R works, so I don't have to exchange them, and find that I CAN eject a CASSETTE by holding down the STOP button, but can't eject a DVD, and that the DVD has to be ON to get a picture on TV when I turn it on! So much to learn! So I have left three items on my do-list for today: 2) sort "do stack," (lessened by arranging to see the Met Saturday with Charles for the closing-soon Rauschenberg exhibit), 7) letter to Brooke for 2005 contributions, and 8) Bio to Tris. Now to look for the source of the latter now at 12:05PM. Write and send it by 12:35PM, then back to taxes, finding that NYS has only recorded $99, rather than $132, and go to their website to find they won't give me a password "now." Get Audience Extras ticket (last one) for Spring's Awakening tonight, and catch up with this at 2:30PM. Play's interesting if you like circle jerks, homosexual fellatio, and shirtless young men. Carve Unique is closed when I get there at 10PM so I settle for R.U.B. and bring stuff home and bed 12:50AM.

FRIDAY, 3/17/06: Wake and decide to jerk off with DVD, so I make a copy of my favorite guy and do it nicely, then turn it off to see a stellar cast in Magical Legend of the Leprechauns, which I watch til 2 while clearing the sofa and floor of junk, have lunch, and go through the top stack by 2:45PM and type my dream [DREAMS:3/17/06] and type this, having only to go to the gym, get groceries, and meet Spartacus at 5:30 in front of Park Plaza to get Indian food for dinner and see Measure for Measure at the Pearl, ironic since I proved Measure for Pleasure was NOT it, and I'd seen it, record-wise, only once---in 1966! Desk still with tax stuff to clear off, and lots of Arnold's DVDs to watch, but at least I can return his Sopranos DVD tonight when I see him, so I won't have to make a special trip. Pile up three library books to read, too.

TUESDAY, 3/21/06: 10:07AM: Saturday I started and finished the first library book: Paula Fox's Desperate Characters, just OK. Then did the puzzles and got late to meet Charles at the Met for the Rauschenberg exhibit, not that great, but we walked to find the Boathouse closed at 4:30 rather than 5:30 for a bridal party, and walked exhaustedly down to Bar Americain, where we had a great meal for "only" $70 each. Sunday I started with the Times, watched Bleak House until time for the Games Group, dined with them, and got back to finish Bleak House and mess up recording Doctor Who by 3:30AM. Get up rather early Monday anyway, playing lots of Spider and breaking through to another high score at 4:15PM. Finally sell the WRONG stock (Ball instead of Bob Evans) from Schwab One to make up for the stupidity of selling Schwab Premiere from my Keogh when that wasn't what I was supposed to do, but Brooke said I could just buy the Premiere back and really shouldn't take more than the minimum from the Keogh "Though I'm not really telling you what to do." But clearly I follow her advice. So brain-dead about the whole financial things with the IRS figures going on FOREVER that I just want to be THROUGH with it and pay all the taxes (being able to put more into the Keogh and nothing into the IRA) NEXT year. End the day yesterday playing a successful round (except for a spiral that I can't do) of Taipei and lots of FreeCell, and starting Hollinghurst's The Spell until 1AM, when I brush my teeth during The Twilight Zone and get to bed at 1:30AM, two hours earlier, thinking that soon I'll be going to sleep even earlier to get used to Morocco time before the trip next Thursday, trying not to count that it's just ten days away, but thinking that I can take a minimum of clothes and it'll be delightful because everything is planned in advance, rather than being choices as it was on the Caribbean cruise. Phone Susan to find that my next slide show will be either May 30 or June 6, nothing like "doing it every month," and maybe not even quarterly. She'll call me back. Also phoned Ken to make sure he has all the Morocco plane tickets and arrangements, because I have nothing. Do a quick Actualism this morning, lying in bed from 8AM to 9:30 thinking all sorts of things, mainly that I'm STILL waiting for the last three Caribbean slide-boxes to finish that off, and for the HSBC statement to balance my book before making out all the checks for the IRS, which is still hanging around. Prepared for my SAGE lawyer at 5PM by getting out a printout of Zone information that I'll ask Peg M. how to protect, and reprinting my will, which is sitting in the printer waiting for this page to be printed so I can take that along, too. Then to the Tuesday Evening Club for the C.s, who may have been my Beard dining partners last month. Sherryl's on the calendar for tomorrow for the Aquarium if the weather's good (really supposed to snow today?) and the Dahesh if it's not, then Thursday starts the 7-day Henry's End birthday-dinner freebie, Friday's Spartacus's 77th birthday, and phone Steve H. to find that this month's MAN party is at Dean Street at 5PM, which means I'll be able to go to Lysistrata beforehand, calling for a reservation now because it's limited to only 50. Then nothing on the calendar before the trip but returning the library books. Reluctant to get to the BIG things: 1) learn scanner, 2) learn Pinnacle, 3) learn blender, 4) learn digicam, 5) evaluate stamps, 6) finish website. Ken calls back NOT REMEMBERING if he made Air Maroc reservations for BOTH of us! He better HAD! Now 10:38AM and I'm past-due for breakfast, have to go to the gym, which I didn't do yesterday out of sheer angst about doing the Schwab One sale on-line (which I did wrong, anyway) taking me past 4PM, and then think of the 6-hour DVD on the Italian saga borrowed from Spartacus. And finishing The Spell and getting today's mail for what should be my checking account summary. Got to remember to leave out the sheet for Carolyn when I go on trips now, and THIS time to change my phone message like I forgot last time. But with no jobs to hold me down, I'm FREEEE! AH, and call Tris: he has T-cell lymphoma mycosis fungoid, first manifest as CELLULITIS previously, and is starting whole-lower-body radiation tomorrow! He'll charge $25/hr, billing twice a month, sending me an e-mail, and we talk LOTS to 11:25AM; I'm HUNGRY!

TUESDAY, 3/21/06: 11:30AM: Just made the last 100 notebook pages into NOTEBOKE and saved it to diskette, then deleted all my current NOTEREPL and start now with this.

MONDAY, 3/27/06: 9:05PM: Did LOTS of things last week: on Tuesday started using the scanner and it WORKED WELL on the first few DIARY pages until it turned out that it took over an hour to do a scanned page that I could TYPE IN in less than half an hour! I got to the Center to be moved to three different rooms before meeting a lawyer who could only give me Lambda Legal for wills and Volunteer Lawyers for the Arts for Zone protection. Had a slice at Lisa's on Fulton Street before meeting the Cohls, who were pleased to see me, but their presentation on Iceland wasn't very exciting, save for the green of their Kodak Excel slides. Wednesday meet Sherryl at the Dahesh and then go to the special Beard dinner from Montreal with kicky Amy and Emily at table #1, with Fred and Anita (who says she STILL wants to see my slides!) and Doctor Jack. Thursday finish Hollinghurst's The Spell to get through the books I have to take back to the library before the trip, and watch TV and play Spider. Friday start Boyle's Drop City and avoid gym and meet Spartacus at Pampa for gristly sweetbreads before American Repertory Ballet's four mediocre pieces at enlarged Symphony Space. Saturday see a good Lysistrata before coming back for my clothes-bag for MAN at Dean Street. Sunday finish Drop City and watch the 6+ hours of The Best of Youth, avoiding reading the Times. Today was VERY busy: read the Times, clip out the puzzles for the trip, talk to Marj for about an hour and compare notes on the final 24 solutions to Intelligence Test 2 and resolve we won't go into #3, have lunch at noon, take CDs back to Spartacus and get the books back to the library and pick up my prescriptions, deposit checks and get $500 cash for the trip, and get groceries. Go to the gym, back to put stuff on desk to handle, then watch two hours of Sopranos, with dinner at 6PM, and talk to Spartacus and manage to get the volume and TV controls onto the cable remote, which means I only need the Westinghouse remote to switch from Standard to Fill to Zoom. Look at the last roll of CARIBCR slides (returned ONE MONTH after they were sent) and take out two boxes of discards and get left with four boxes of slides to which the first 12 in the roll in the camera must be added, as well as comparison slides with my previous trip to non-touristy Tulum. Set up to record Eugene O'Neill and the first two hours of Dark Kingdom, or whatever the sword-and-sorcery film is on Sci Fi from 11-1AM, and type this to 9:20 and get ready to go to bed, feeling VERY tired, figuring to get up at 5:30 when it first gets light outside!

TUESDAY, 3/28/06: 12:15PM: Didn't get to sleep much before 11, looking at the clock at 9:50PM and 10:30PM, and bobbed awake at 2:22AM to type a dream to 2:29 [DREAMS:3/28/06] and try to get back to sleep, but at 3:32 am still awake after having tried a fruitless Actualism, and take Ambien, hoping for at least four GOOD hours' sleep, and wake at 8, somewhat groggy, and up at 8:35 to watch a wonderful Eugene O'Neill that I copy his ship-board apotheosis from, and then start arguing with Spartacus when I say it's "Ric Burns's best" and he said he thought it was Ken Burns, and I said I just WATCHED it and why does he always QUESTION what I say when I've just SEEN something, and he says it's because I'm usually wrong, where HE's the one who usually has to admit that HE was mistaken, which of course he never remembers. So I take HIS line, "I think I'll hang up now," and he allows it. SHIT!!! Open the door to find I have the Sun, so I get another puzzle and sudoku for the trip-idle hours and put the radio on to miss the temperature when Ken calls to say we're on at the Beard on 6/4 and I should call the taxi to pick him up for the 6:40PM flight at 4PM. Type the dream and have my desk full of the next things to do, but decide that I have to get to the bottom of this page before starting the wonderful O'Neill moment of ecstasy that I want to save to show how SOMEONE could describe it.

                              O'NEILL'S APOTHEOSIS

Eugene O'Neill: Long Day's Journey into Night, Act IV, Edmund's revelation of his ship-board apotheosis: "You've just told me some high spots in your memories, wanna hear mine? They're all connected with the sea. Here's one: When I was on the squarehead square-rigger, bound for Buenos Aires, full moon in the trades, the old hooker driving at fourteen knots," [Edmund struggles to put into words the ephemeral sense of connection with something larger, that had sometimes come over him while at sea], "I lay on the bowsprit, facing the stern, the water foaming into spume under me; the masts, with every sail white in the moonlight, towering high above me; I became drunk with the beauty and singing rhythm of it, and for a moment I---lost myself, actually lost my life. I was set free. I dissolved in the sea. became white sails and flying spray, became beauty and rhythm, became moonlight, and the ship, and the high dim-starred sky. I belonged, without past or future, within peace and unity and a wild joy. Within something greater than my own life, or the life of man. To life itself. To God---if you want to put it that way. And several other times in my life, when I was swimming far out, or lying alone on a beach, I've had the same experience: became the sun, the hot sand, green seaweed anchored to a rock, swaying in the tide, like a saint's vision of beatitude, like the veil of things as they seem, drawn back by an unseen hand. And for a second, you see it! And seeing the secret, you ARE the secret. For a second, there is meaning. Then the hand lets the veil fall, and you are alone, lost in the fog again. And you stumble on towards nowhere, for no good reason. It was a great mistake my being born a man; I would have been much more successful as a seagull, or a fish. As it is, I will always be a stranger, who never feels at home. Who does not really want, and is not really wanted. Who can never belong. Who must always be a little in love with Death." Pause. "No, I couldn't touch what I tried to tell you just now; I just---stammered: that's the best I'll ever do. Well, it will be faithful or realism at least: stammering is the native eloquence of us fog-people."

STILL feel pissed at Spartacus: I wanted to communicate a BIT of this wonderful text, and he bogs it all down with "I thought it was Ken Burns." Had breakfast late at 9AM, but now at 12:30PM feel hungry for lunch, hearing that the thermometer will rise into the mid-50s both today and tomorrow. End up mailing TEN checks for $10,099.91! Take disks back to Spartacus after watching a depressing Proof with Huge Weaving and Russell Crowe from 1992 in Australia, then watch Dark Kingdom while having sausage for dinner and get to bed at 10:20PM. Toss and turn and at 10:35 take Ambien.

WEDNESDAY, 3/29/06: Sleep OK, wake at 4:20 and pee, then get up at 6:40, feeling awful and getting worse as the morning wears on, fill my pillboxes, and I take Diazepam at 9AM and lie down until 9:50, when I get into the day by finding, and reading, my 40 Morocco pages from 1969, check the e-mails and send blurbs to Tristan, price cars to the airport for $118 to $60, call John to water plants, charge the video camera, see good Tryst with Spartacus, tell Beverley to pick up my Saturday and Sunday Times, phone for the car, phone Shelley and Charles, and catch up with this to 6:35PM, ready for dinner after some Spider. Still don't feel tired, so I play Spider again until 10:15, and take another Ambien at 10:15, getting fairly quickly to sleep.

THURSDAY, 3/30/06: Wake at 5:05, pee, and up at 5:35AM, noting that I'm 70 years old! Make out a list that eventually extends to 20 (at this writing at 3:20PM), starting with jerking off so that I won't have pressure on the trip, finishing that at 6:30. Then clip toenails to 6:40 and fingernails to 6:50 (all this is on the list). Breakfast to 7:30, wash dishes to 8:05, start packing and shave to 8:50, put in new Odor-Eaters to 9:05, then get to the gym at 10:45, trying to kid myself that it's already five hours later. Call Carolyn to tell her I'm putting her sheet with my "last things" at her right knee at my desk; call Ken and get told to take my jacket and tie for the two or three elegant restaurants, have lunch to 12, emptying the refrigerator except for the apple juice, and forgot to mention that I took a diazepam at 8:10 and again at 3:05, fearing that my preternatural calm might end without it. Record the phone message at 12:10, then really get into packing, unboxing the film, putting everything on the dining-room table, cleaning the bathroom sink and toilet, calling Tris and being told he'll phone me back, which he does at 2:50, and we chat and I tell him what to do until I get back, then check the e-mail, with Edgardo staying here May 18-20, and finish and rinse out the apple-juice container at 3:05, after checking what I want to program for 8 hours on TV and talking to Arnold. Finish this at 3:30, leaving only packing, brushing teeth, and turning radios off on my list. Turn off the radios as 3:40, since I'll be watching TV while I brush my teeth, which I finish by 4:10PM, and finish packing and weigh my blue bag at 18# and my A&K bag at 13#, for a total of 31#, and put everything away and finish this at 4:15, waiting for the call from the car at any time: having changed into a long-sleeved blue shirt for the occasional cold evening, packing my dress shoes "in case" and putting on clean jeans that I'll wear most of the time, except for the black for formal nights and the yellow chinos if REALLY needed, but they're only 36" in the waist, so it'll be a stuffing job to be done. Rinsing with peroxide to finish the teeth, and only to change into the sneakers and put my watch on and jacket in the A&K bag, and I'm ready to go! TRAVEL:MOROCCO

WEDNESDAY, 4/26/06: 11:30AM: So much STILL left to take care of from the trip, but catching up SOMEHOW with all the data SINCE the trip takes priority here for the moment. Will fill in the notes I took for the few days I categorized after Thursday in the TR\MOROCCO pages. Go for the last note-page and notice a tiny black BEETLE, about the size of a grain of rice, on my bed: where did THAT come from? See that my last noted event after trip was 7AM Tuesday, when I felt feverish and took my temperature and found that it was 97.6°. Maybe I'm anti-sick? Feel I have to divide my "catch-up" into SECTIONS: A) Finally unpacked on Tuesday, scrubbing my blue bag and tried to make a loop in the plastic attached to the broken zipper so that I could LOCK the bag if I had to, but the end of the plastic wouldn't stay attached to anything. Tried to find some kind of Krazy Glue, but couldn't. Unwisely decided that a SCREW might hold the plastic-end in place but what it did was BREAK one side of the last remaining attachment to the zipper-head, and when I tried to plier it back into place, the OTHER end broke off, leaving me with ONLY the zipper-head on a bag which I'd just labored for a half-hour to CLEAN. Decide I can use it at LEAST once more, on the Germany trip, when I won't be unpacking often and won't have so much in the bag, just to see if it still works. Terrified about not being able to find a REPLACEMENT for this wonderfully useful bag! B) Spent about an hour Tuesday, also, making TWO unworking Casio watches into ONE. Tried SAYING what I did to Spartacus and Charles, and TOTALLY messed it up, so here goes the DEFINITIVE version: My FIRST Casio watch was ripped from my arm when I stepped on that un-anchored plank in Colombia on the Amazon cruise, and I bought a SECOND that day in a market. That SECOND lasted a long time until the STRAPS broke, with the timepiece still working, so of course I kept it, replacing it with a THIRD that I bought on Montague Street, with a light that didn't really work, but I was too cheap to see if it was just the battery being weak. Wore that to the Caribbean cruise, when I noted that the face BLANKED OUT a few times when I was changing the time. But it always came back. Then, on the Morocco trip, when I tried to change it to Morocco time, the face blanked out and STAYED blanked out. I assumed it needed a new battery, borrowed a lady's watch from Judy for a while, and bought a FOURTH Casio (for 15D?) from a shop near the shopkeeper who told me that the face was DEAD and he couldn't replace the watch. When I was cutting the buttons off my short-sleeved shirt, I took down the Peruvian box and found Casio SECOND, and remembered I'd brought back Casio THIRD from Morocco, putting it with stuff to save from the trip, and thought about the possibility of taking the GOOD straps off Casio THIRD and putting them onto the GOOD face of Casio SECOND. Using partly unbent paper clips (two, of differing sizes), I managed to poke out the pins that held on the C-2 broken straps and threw the broken straps away (Yes, I THREW THEM AWAY!). It was harder to take the good straps off the blank-face C-3, even breaking part of the casing of C-3, but finally succeeded and threw away the blank-face of C-3 (YES, I threw it away!). Then, after razor-blading off bits of the edges of C-3 straps to fit the narrower openings on the C-2 face, I managed to force the pins into place and make a PERFECTLY GOOD REPLACEMENT watch, which I'll take along with my spare glasses in case the battery goes out or something else breaks, and OF COURSE Spartacus brings up the possibility that BOTH batteries will go dead AT THE SAME TIME. Now I'm ready for section C, which will be about jerking off, but it's 11:58AM and I've GOT to get to the gym! Gym and dressing gets me to Telepan JUST at 2PM, for a WONDERFUL burger, almost inedible onion rings, OK fries, good sweet-pickle slices and very mild dill wedges, with a great chocolate cake with salty-caramel ice cream, a true hit. Back at 4:15PM with a load of mail and get back to this at 4:19PM for Section C). Got to bed 8:15PM NYC time on Friday and woke early, feeling sexy, so I jerk off about 4AM. Then about 7AM when I get out of bed, I figure to make more clips on my porn DVD and cum again, and then around noon, SEX-obsessed, I jerk off a THIRD time today, leaving myself bruised, swollen, and exhausted. On Saturday I manage not to cum, but on Sunday I jerk off 6:06-7:33, putting on more video clips, having to avoid sore sections of my cock while working it over. On Monday I jerk off 6:06-8:25, adding more clips, really making myself sore again, and thinking I won't be doing much more, but I jerk off again on Tuesday, really not teasing so much now as just wanting to cum and get it over with. Wednesday is the worst: up about 7:30 and look through John's old DVDs trying to find good sections, manage to find 3:47 and 5:15 on one DVD, which I'll have to copy onto tape to transfer to DVD, and almost despair actually CUMMING, whacking away endlessly until I get back to my old faithful #1 and manage to cum perfectly soft, with lots of milky spurts and a viscid translucent gush when I remove the rubber bands at 10:37, having to put aloe on a cut after I shower after the gym this afternoon. Maybe I won't be cumming tomorrow? Overused the DVD so much that I actually had to pull the plug to start the system over to get the frozen DVD out of not playing even on the miniature screens, not being able to shift positions, not able to do ANYTHING, hoping I haven't wrecked the DVD. Haven't. D) Then Spartacus tells me about the Tribeca Film Festival dinners only with American Express cards 4/25-5/7, and by the time talks with him and Mildred are over, I have EIGHT meals scheduled: 1) Steak Frites Tue L/Spartacus, 2) Telepan Wed L/Spartacus, 3) Devi Thu D/Mildred, (Friday's lunch with Mildred at Del Posto is hors Tribeca), 4) Tribeca Grill Sun L/Mildred, 5) 2 West Mon L/Mildred, 6) Duane Park Tue L/Spartacus, 7) (Wednesday Beard previously scheduled) Chanterelle Thu L/Mildred, 8) Montrachet Fri D/Mildred, with Saturday's 4PM Park Plaza with Lina M. preplanned, as is Sunday's Fort Greene house-sitting. WHEW!! D) Finally sorted, on Tuesday, most of the rest of the stuff (except for the numerous pile on my desk) into three stacks: 1) puzzles for my next trip, 2) Morocco stuff to be sorted and filed, 3) Stuff I have to work on, including MUCH unread mail added Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, which now includes another New York and New Yorker---NEVERENDING! E) Did a lot of Spider, setting new records at 10PM on Sunday 4/23, and at 3:15, 4:15, and 4:55PM Monday 4/24. I guess I put HERE that my mouse didn't work when I got back, couldn't transfer it from old to new computer, so had to buy another at RadioShack (bargain at $10.80 including tax) and it works with no problems. E) Awful stack of Quick To-Dos: 1) Notary 101 Clark form, 2) Wash clothes, 3) Find how to pay $4700 Kenya trip, 4) Get rid of three stacks ABOVE!

THURSDAY, 4/27/06: 3:50PM: Today I just did and did and did and DID! Washed clothes, and during the cycle took out the Chinese laundry and stopped at the bank to find a free V., who chatted about Morocco and gave me free Notary Public stamps on my two copies of the HUD form for 101 Clark Street. Folded the laundry after tackling the stack of Morocco souvenirs by liberating a large container from Florida 2003 (which I put into the manila envelope into which Morocco 2006 would clearly not fit), and labeled two large containers that had never been labeled and rewrote many of the now-faded labels on many of the large containers. Put all the puzzles into the Germany folder, along with things like passport and duplicate and note cards liberated from the Morocco stack, and then took the receipts to check the HSBC statement, which included $4.50 in charges for the three cash withdrawals, and then the Visa statement, which charged $4.10 for the foreign transaction, which I'm ignoring in the balancing between Ken and me, since I assume he had similar charges, and came up with the difference of $102 that I owe him, which I told him about, along with a correction of his Kenya-terminating date of 7/29---it's 7/30 for a 17-day trip starting on July 14. Put lots of travel folders away, since I'm not likely to reserve for another trip soon, though the Baltics, Patagonia, Amazon, and Black Sea all beckon. Still have lots of little notes to add to the Morocco trip-journal before printing it out (after getting the photographic notes from it, which invariably led to typo corrections), with its Summary page that I haven't started yet. Express Mailed the 16 slide rolls off on Saturday, not very helpful for speed, but hope they send them all back in one package. Filed HIP stuff, Ridgewood stuff, Rita's letter's stuff in the circular file after I phoned her, since she didn't phone me after calling me on the 19th, but she was on her way out and the call was mercifully short. Phoned Anita F. with four Bhutan sources: 1 phone and 3 websites. Called for five prescriptions, then phoned C. to find that Buspar was for anxiety and Effexor for depression, and "for some reason" started taking the one-a-day Effexor to see if it had any effect, or just to clear it off my shelf. Will save the 12-year-old Buspar for pre-trip jitters, just to see if it still works. He OKs my extension of Proscar, diazepam, Ambien, and Cipro. Put NYC information in its stack, checked the Schwab 2005 deposits and still got an increase despite all my obligatory withdrawals, and filed stuff into the IRS shelf like the impossibly late-coming duple of some publication that I turned out not to need. Shit twice already today, started on a "good" foot by not jerking off for the first time since Saturday, but still gargled twice early this morning when my throat felt sore, and STILL don't feel quite up to par; hope it's not the mere psychological reaction to becoming 70 years of age. Felt guilty for not taking a bottle of wine for Shelley's dinner last night, after Norm splurged on a bottle of Roederer for the three of us, and I settled for two beers with the Teresa's ordered dinners, the mediocre chicken stroganoff, but resolved to get Shelley's LaZinca, or whatever the onion, noodle, beef goodie was. Oh, started the day by refiling the Morocco pages in the two volumes of DIARY from which I withdrew them for the trip, noting only four locations that I actually revisited, remarking in greatest particular about the beautiful bronzes in the Rabat Archaeological Museum. People started getting my Morocco cards, one on Monday to Shelley, three or four on Tuesday, one to Rita, and others since. Resisted almost every step of the way stopping the constructive work I was doing to complete the trip and play some Spider, until now, at 4:10PM, when I'm close enough to the bottom of the page to finish it off. Will note HERE my goof of noting down Ballard's Rushing to Paradise, published in 1995, and thinking of it as "last year" until I woke up, then checked my shelf to NOT find it, but my reading list says I read it in 1996, so I must have borrowed it from the library, of which I remember nothing. Like having to be reminded yesterday of having SEEN Tryst when I asked Spartacus if it ever came up on the discount sites. Only "Who do you think will be naked?" reminded me of BEING there, but even THEN not the plot!

THURSDAY, 5/4/06, 1:35PM: It's just so ENDLESS! Picked up 4 of 5 prescriptions on 5/1 but didn't get the Diazepam because C. had to MAIL them a new prescription, so I picked it up this morning when I went to water John's plants, but I’d taken down the wrong date: he wants me to start TOMORROW; I got the schedule he left for me and the Morocco postcard I sent him. Picked up laundry and had to put it away, taking out the garbage from the kitchen because it was now full. Put $18,000 into SWPNX in my Keogh, but they wouldn't let me put my MMF in my IRA into it because I didn't have any. Phoned today, and I CAN get it because I have it in a linked account, so they did it for me, and verified that SWXXX, or whatever they put my MMF in for my Schwab One account, is withdrawable just like the MMF, only with a higher interest. Tried phoning Charles, finally leaving a message on his cell phone: 1) you may have called me and gotten a busy signal (when I was doing my Zagat evaluations over Tuesday and Wednesday, maybe an hour each day for a free book) 4 times, but I call you at home at LEAST that many times and get NO answer because you're not there, 2) you may have tried Muschamp on May 2; I tried on May 1 at 11:20AM and it was ALREADY full, 3) call me when you're back in town; wanted to see the new Leslie-Lohman gallery with you today, but obviously you're not here. Also wanted to return stuff to Spartacus and get videos or DVDs from him to watch, but he's going out, so I'll try again tomorrow. Watched the last of the Morocco camcorder tapes, setting up both of them at spots that Ken might like to watch tonight after we meet for dinner at Sea Asian and watch the slides, which he didn't remember setting up when we spoke last night at the Beard before a full meal and wines which left me feeling rather out of it this morning, playing Spider until 12:30AM to digest, not getting out of bed until 9:30 this morning to rest from it. Finally cleared the Proscar and Zetia off the table into the kitchen cabinet, the Cipro into my dop kit, and the Ambien and Diazepam into the bathroom cabinet. Still wearing the same black pants and white shirt that I wore last week to the Tribeca restaurant-week, happy to have the last one tomorrow night at Montrachet, with Chanterelle today at 2:30, which I'll have to leave for soon because it's 1:45 already. Made the check out to Ken for $102 to square the Morocco trip, and for $327.75 to Tristan for his first invoice, which I forgot to mail yesterday, so is on my stack for this afternoon. Still have notes to 1) oil the bathroom cabinet and my bedroom door, 2) set up something with Susie M. on 6/5 and/or 6/8, 3) see if Spartacus can color-print the photos from Judy A. that I forwarded to him, 4) look into SAVE-ML.ORG for Sue S.'s site on Mitchell-Lama, 5) finish the Summary page for Morocco and incorporate all the spare notes I haven't put in yet and print out all the finished pages, then file all the papers into the folder, 6) update the Caribbean cruise with old Tulum slides to finish THAT program, 7) further winnow the Morocco slides with Ken's help tonight, 8) memo to Tristan for HistoryB trying to decide what to do about DIARY/Contents/LINKS for the finished system, trying to get out of retyping the Contents because I might not really NEED them. Managed to get to the gym on time, most of the time, but disappointed about jerking off: the last TWO times I tried I just DIDN'T CUM! Worked and worked, once at the TV with the porno DVD, once in bed with the paper porn, but it got to the point where it just wasn't FUN anymore, and I don't know if it's age, Proscar, or the Effexor that I found from two years ago that I decided to FINISH when I found it was for depression, and I MIGHT be suffering depression now except for taking the last 15 days I had of it, which will finish a week from now, and then I still have the old Buspar for a large number of days for anxiety which I'll start taking when I start feeling tense about Germany or Kenya or Chicago in the future. Spartacus just calls: 1) the Frankie and Johnny anniversary-day prices at 1956 (or whenever) levels is totally booked, 2) we'll talk later about a date for the Spanish chefs at the United Nations dining room, 3) I'll get his stuff to him later because it's too late today to do it. So at least I've managed once again to get to the bottom of the page so I can print it all out.

WEDNESDAY, 5/17/06: 8:25AM: Just re-read the previous page and I've done NOTHING from the 8-item list except make progress on the Morocco trip by finishing the Summary page, but just got the detailed map from Jeff yesterday in the mail so I can make LOTS of place-name corrections with the more-detailed map. And will finish this page so I can print it out to clear that Summary page (corrected, I hope) so I can fill out the datebook for THAT trip! Some places are STILL impossible to find, and I reprinted pages 1, 10, and 38, so that final page is STILL in the printer waiting to be cleared by this page! Just SO tempted to say, "Fuck it!" and play Spider for the next afternoon, though I'm now FIVE days without going to the gym, have to water John and pick up my glasses, and finally decided to consult with Dr. G. before deciding to have a bridge on the upper left which MIGHT resolve the increasing pain and sensitivity in that area. Look down to find they're AT LAST working again on the garden area below at the next building, having been at it for at LEAST a year already. Spilled a whole glass of apple juice this morning when I was having an early breakfast at 7:30 to get more into Edgardo's schedule when he arrives this afternoon at 5PM my time and 10PM or 11PM his time. But he leaves Sunday afternoon about the time I leave for the Games Group, and said he'll be at meetings during all the days and will be tired at night, so there'll be little catering to his needs. At least it ISN'T raining today, as he said it wouldn't be. I just DON'T feel like doing ANYTHING: being without work has REALLY messed up my energy level, as has the CONSTANT nasal problem---could it be ALLERGIES, which are supposedly bad this spring? STILL haven't finished with Morocco (not to mention having to check e-mail and thank Jeff for sending me the map), and it's almost a MONTH since I've been back! Maybe rope Edgardo into watching the Morocco slides and reducing the number from 308 to the low 200s? Spend HOURS on Spider even when I'm losing so much I'm sending my average far below the current high of 48.3536 on 5/4. Adding PILES of stuff to be done on the tabletop: check with G., check balance of my Express Mail account, Six Flags discount ticket, John's $40 JFK trip-price from some place on Henry near me, another Intermountain bill to phone HIP AGAIN to complain about not paying, ophthalmologist appointment and bone scan with C., brush my teeth, clean the apartment before Edgardo arrives, including washing the dishes and scrubbing the kitchen and bathroom floors with the unusable wet-mop, and endless other chores that I JUST DON'T FEEL LIKE DOING. Want to just rent DVDs from across the street and watch them endlessly. AND it's less than a month before leaving on the German cruise, only NOW do I check to find that it's NOT a cruise, but bus overland! Then ADD to the goof by calling Fred without checking the TIME, and I WAKE him at 9:50AM, and he has THREE sets of guests visiting him this week, rather than my excuse of "being on Edgardo's time and not thinking it was early." But he said he WAS so pleased by my message about the success of the party after the Fort Greene tour. And maybe THAT's part of the reason I feel so logy: it IS early; I'm not USED to being up and active so early! Notes to get Express Mail soft envelopes for next batch of films, do something about Tom of Finland, and lots of notes to add to the final slide-list from Morocco incorporating historical dates and cultural influences which make the slides MUCH more informative! Now I've got to pee again! My weight's up to 198, and I've got to wash the SECOND CONSECUTIVE pair of new undershorts from a fresh, dark, pungent skid-mark! Just FEELING old, tired, not up to par, and not that much enjoying the GOOD things I'm doing (not QUITE true, the food from Spain at the UN was a FABULOUS afternoon, as the two Philharmonic’s on two successive evenings were a kick). At least, after three dry tries, I managed to CUM with great feeling yesterday with new porn. But I'm STILL not brushing my teeth often enough, though I DID get toothpaste when I last went grocery shopping, which I'll have to do soon AGAIN for Edgardo and for my milk! Just ENDLESS! But at least, now at 9:57AM, I'm at the end of the page and can print out the Summary from Morocco and transcribe all those boring places in my datebook so I can type it in January.

THURSDAY, 5/25/06: 12:23PM: What a week since the last page! Went to gym at 1:45PM to get back before 3, since Edgardo's not to arrive until 5, and JUST as I get in from having brought up the keys I left for Edgardo in case he arrived while I was at the gym, Ron calls and says, "He's following you up!" So he comes in at 3PM, when I haven't had the two hours I'd planned for washing the kitchen, bathroom, and hallway floors---and vacuuming! He said, "It's OK, Marina isn't with me." We talk, he watches Morocco slides, looks at my book of early photos of me and even him, then we go to Clark's Corner for fish and chips about 5:30, walk Promenade, and he's to bed at 8PM, 2AM Milan time. I get to bed at 11:30 and up Thursday to see that Parsifal is playing, so I thoroughly clean the apartment (I'm sure it took more than 2 hours) and leave elaborate notes for him which he doesn't see, and STAND for Parsifal, great cast, though Heppner doesn't seem to be in finest form, but he survives from 6:30-11:55PM. Friday we dine at Kapadokya, which he likes, giving me dinner for Monday of next week, and Saturday I go to MAN and meet him IN THE HALL at Chelsea Market at 7PM, and we drink at 202 and he eats scallion pancakes, then we're back here for slices at Fascati, which he also says he likes, and ends up having breakfast Sunday at Clark's Corner, leaving my keys when he leaves at 2:30 with John's cheaper car service across Henry Street, and I leave at 1:15 for Games Group. See G. 11:30AM Monday, and it's the LAST tooth that's causing the pain, so I phone D. for a Thursday 2:30PM appointment to get it taken care of, and a PIECE falls out 7PM Wednesday while I'm eating popcorn and watching the climax of 24 from the fifth season. Monday watch Earthquake 10.5 for 4 hours, skimming lots, and see Guardians, which Spartacus justifiably recommended. Tuesday is Agony, good, and Wednesday I catch up with the Met Museum for the two-month period. Going to bed after watching the end of 24 and the beginning of X-Men 2, which I finish this afternoon at 12:05PM, I make out a NEW list to add to the list I made out WEDNESDAY, labeled THU: 1) Phone bill: WHAT plan? 2) Germany flight seats? 3) C. for a) ophthalmologist, b) bone scan, c) PSA? 4) HIP: bill again? 5) E-mails (do this Wednesday), 6) Finish CARIBCR (do this Wednesday, and leave word with Fred, who wants to see it FRIDAY night---great!), 7) Fix Tibet slides (do Wednesday), 8) Reserve for Tuesday meal? 9) End-May IRS Form 5500? (find on Thursday that it's end-JULY!) 10) TV Guide: Shelley? 11) Phone Anita for 5/30, 12) Fred: Carib ready to see (he's coming Friday), 13) Cash in CIT group (tried online, but no code, and call at 12:15PM today and he says he has to get a bid on it and he'll call back in about an hour, so I can't use the phone, and it's now 12:53PM, so he should call soon), 14) Water John (though he says he'll be BACK today?) 15) Get groceries. Then in bed 1AM this morning I make ANOTHER list: 1) Buy lecithin/MORE pills needed? 2) Arnold: printed photos? 3) Steph: WANT to see Tibet? 4) Do more Title Pages, 5) Charles: Susie: 6/5? 6) NYREST site for restaurant week more? 7) Chicago restaurant list with Ken and Sandy, 8) Start renting DVDs, 9) Ask Brooklyn library for a book? 10) Shelley: Will person? 11) "Protect-Zone" lawyer? 12) Get haircut pre-5/30, 13) Title-Page sheet to Tris/History?? 14) Summarize HIP expenses/payments, 15) Make new Met Museum see-list, 16) How long have I held CIT (since 7/9/04, thankfully, 17) ADD South Vietnam to short Tibet program? 18) Call 2 Springer contacts: no indexes, 19) Deposit cash, 20) Laundry out, 21) Type lists (which I'm doing NOW), 22) Renew Rx, which I did, and can pick up after 2:15PM, 23) Kenya/Tanzania slides. Haven't been doing THAT MUCH Spider, and on Monday and Tuesday kept finding little things that I had to adjust from Edgardo's changing things around. Still have all the mail (and travel packs) to take off the dining-room table, but at least this page will out-print the last of the SLIDES pages. SCARY overflies this morning of 6 VERY LOW jets and an EVEN LOWER four-engine WWII cargo plane, again and again, and I'm SURE more are reminded of 9/11 than of upcoming Memorial Day. Sherryl fills the weekend: Momix at Joyce on Saturday matinee with Charles, and 8PM harbor cruise with fireworks on Sunday "for my birthday." Busy week, and it's still now over YET!

SATURDAY, 5/27/06: 11:28AM: Busy two days crossing things off my lists. Reduced it to TWO lists on Friday, and will reduce it to ONE today. Arnold still hasn't printed photos, restaurants aren't until July, sent Ken and Sandy a Chicago restaurant memo, Brooklyn Library still has my request for Laxness, but it expires 6/1, so I'll just let it go. Left word with a Montague Street will-lawyer for a 5/31 meeting, sent memo to Tris, updated Met see-list, found Cleartel was charging me $2.50/month for a PHONE listing, which I said to cancel, probably for another $15 service charge, Germany flights HAD seats already at windows, Fred enjoyed Iron Chef and CARIBCR slides, and my view with Cointreau, form 5500 is due July-end, no one knows a good TV guide, Anita can't come 5/30, and I even added an item: Adjust glasses. Canceled Museum of Sex mailings, as I will later cancel 1) Paradou, 2) Met Opera, which I just never look at. Left word with Stephanie S.: WANT to see slides, she's AWAY, CALL me. Write note to talk to Charles today at ballet about Susie on Monday, 6/5. Make a new Sat 5/27 do-list: 1) Start renting DVDs, 2) "Protect-Zone" lawyer? 3) Haircut TUESDAY, 4) Kenya/Tanzania visas,5) Chin a) Ophthal, b) Bone scan, c) PSA, 6) HIP-bill/history, 7) Adjust glasses, 8) Finish title pages. Feel GOOD!

TUESDAY, 6/6/06: 10:38AM: Almost a FUGUE-STORM of thoughts this morning lying in bed: had a dream (mostly forgotten now) and thought to get up about 6:30 to transcribe it, but decided it wasn't worth the effort; no one CARES if I write out all my dreams, so why should I make the effort. Then thought about lots of other things, but ended up with a SYMPHONY of sensations started with the idea that I could make DVDs of my videotapes, TRULY making one source for opera arias, disasters, dances, music videos, porno, as I'm selecting the "best" porno for my porn DVD. Think how GREAT it would be to have INSTANT access to the film-clips that I now have to locate on my index, then space forward or back on videotape to get to, which means I don't do it very often. Then think of Au Rebours with the liquor-organ, and think that this becomes a VISUAL organ which can then be COMBINED with a taste-organ---and then why not a TOUCH-organ environment where silk and fur and lamb's ears are presented for touch---and a smell-organ like Smell-O-Vision? And of course the tautological sound-organ with music-bits, like all climaxes, or all nocturnal, or sentimental, or orgiastic. But now I'm hungry for breakfast.

MONDAY, 6/12/06: 7:15PM: From note: Sunday took Ambien at 10:45PM and got to bed at 11, did quick Actualism to sleep about 11:11PM. Peed at 4:11 dream-note [DREAMS:6/12/06] and at 6:20, when I took another Buspar. Felt anxious, regardless, all day, getting a cab for $45 for Fred and me and calling him, talking to Mildred and Sherryl and Marj, and glance out NOW at incredibly beautiful feathery ultra-high clouds, with a base of darker cumulus below. Ken called with the news that we should get anti-malaria for Kenya and Tanzania, which isn't the kind of news I like to hear. Intermountain Emergency Physicians STILL sending bill, probably haven't even GOT my return-comment to their last bill. Just don't feel like doing ANYTHING, particularly packing, probably knowing that if I FINISH that I'll have LESS than nothing to occupy my mind. Go clip fingernails!

TUESDAY, 6/13/06: 11:58AM: From note: took Ambien 9:15PM Monday, bed at 9:30, Actualism incomplete, sleep about 9:45. 1:46AM wake and pee. 2:35 take Buspar and Ambien again. Wake 6:10 and up at 6:22 after hassling in mind. Told Beverley to pick up my Times yesterday, and this morning froze milk after breakfast, washed dishes, went out to find I couldn't fix zipper without replacing it, got $200 cash, proceeded with packing, called Susan H. for August 29 "top to toe Italy, including Sicily." Meticulous going-through, still lots to pack, but decide to vacuum. Finish that, finish packing to 31#, and at 12:55PM I'm ready for lunch! Now at 1:27PM I've finished absolutely everything but changing into my day's shirt, and will print out this page and start the next page in the TR\GERMFRED journal that I'll start before I leave. TRAVEL:GERMANY

THURSDAY, 6/29/06: 7:15AM: What a TIME I had this morning: woke at 6:53AM with a dream, came to the computer, clicked on WP51, and I tried to maximize it with Alt-Ent, but it didn't work. Eventually, it seems, I'd stepped on the connector and disconnected the mouse. But when I pushed the plug in, the system came up with "are you running another WP51?" and I couldn't hit "No." Tried and tried, pressed the button on the unit to restart, tried a number of things, until finally I just UNPLUGGED it and started all over, when thankfully it worked, BUT at the cost of OVER twenty minutes, fearing I might have to call Doctor Data to get out of the mess. By now I've probably forgotten most of the dream!DREAMS:6/29/06

SUNDAY, 7/2/06: 2:55PM: Finally finished printing out all the GERMFRED pages: 22 of journal, 1 of Summary, 3 of slides. Flipped the calendar to July, at last, since I don't need to refer to June anymore---except to fill in the datebook pages. Which I do---uh, not now, since the page---oh, hell, I'll TAKE the page out! Finish to 3:25, finishing last of candies from German hotel pot. A/C on, cooling legs; hot out. Ready for dinner and more TV---maybe after some Spider!

WEDNESDAY, 7/5/06: 7:40AM: Transcribe two dreams [DREAMS:7/5/06], with others forgotten, and note my current obsession with 1) things to do before the Kenya trip; 2) last pages to be entered into the Zone; 3) other things to do, like a) start another porno DVD; b) extract subjects like i) opera, ii) ballet, iii) disaster scenes, iv) etc., from videotapes that I'd tried to do on TAPE and which is now much more practical, access-wise, on DVD; c) go through the pile on the bookcase shelf to see what can be handled from THAT next. THAT list could be extended unfruitfully, just as my last dream unfruitfully tried to decide how many ways to enter a particular German brochure into my life-work, whether as text, photo, definition, example, or souvenir. And now I have to shit. In addition, I'm losing things with more frequency: 1) starting with the block-graph paper tablet I lost on moving here, which I still think I'll find someday hidden somewhere among other things, 2) then the first porno DVD I made---which I STILL search for, thinking it's combined with other unused CDs or DVDs, or under the TV table, or fallen into a souvenir-container at the side of the TV table where I looked just YESTERDAY in hopes of finding it, then 3) just a few days ago I had TWO sets of earplugs by my bed, and I'm pretty sure I flushed the more-used of the pair down the toilet that day, but then yesterday I KNOW I took them out somewhat later in the morning when I thought to keep them in to record more DVD-porn, then decided to do the sudoku before that, then was hungry for breakfast, so I had that while watching commentaries for Domino, which I'd watched the night before (and just NOW thought of recording that I watched Separate Lies YESTERDAY, which I'd forgotten to write into my datebook, and THAT may have been totally gone if I hadn't done it now), but at last had to de-cotton a new set of waxy earplugs before going to sleep last night, though I still think they'll turn up sometime today: after all, they've been missing "only" about 24 hours at this point, so they're not "really gone" yet. But DID miss some minor Tibetan Armor exhibit at the Met because I was "supposed" to go before June 30, and forgot to check that stack in my efforts to both finish scanning the TITLE pages and finish up as much as I could (except for finances, which will come with HSBC and Visa statements) about the German trip before Kenya occurs. Yesterday went through TWO cycles with TITLE pages: 1) removing the now-extraneous Volume-page number designations from the first 13 pages, after which I decided they WERE extraneous in the Zone format, 2) editing for font and tabs ALL the pages before, say, page 30, when I'd settled into a common size and a 1.1 tab for the ONLY tab between diary-page number and title. NOW all I have to do is PROOFREAD all 78 pages to make sure the scanning, and my prior editing, have IN FACT made the pages (let's KEEP them separate pages for now!) acceptable. 8:10AM: Still don't quite feel "written out" after the previous page. It's been so HOT and HUMID that I've put on A/C in various rooms when I'm there for a while. Last night's Fourth of July fireworks were a success in that I could see the only three barges up in the 30s on the East River with great clarity (though also through a great distance) to the right of 75 Henry, but the "South Street Seaport" barge or barges are still perversely SOUTH of the corner of my building, so though the NOISE is greater from the near display, only EDGES of the blooms of fireworks can be seen around the side of my building and the intervening St. George Hotel, and WHAT a view must be available from THOSE riverside apartments! At least I'm keeping busy (though the supply of movies to watch on rental is getting smaller and smaller, since I haven't kept up with Ebert and Roeper AT ALL for the past many months, just as I haven't kept up with any kind of TV schedule since the Times stopped publishing their complete listings and I haven't even BEGUN to use my seemingly useless trial subscription to TV Guide with its prime-time-only listings, though it DOES have a skimpy page on late-night movies, primarily for premium-cable channels) without taking on any indexes, hoping to still be on their call-list next year, when I HOPE I can remember how to index when I restart! To equal my relief for the almost-year-long attempt to repair my Kodak Carousel projector, matched with my relief when I got the phone calls from Intermountain that they'd FINALLY managed to accept HIP's plan for paying the bill, now comes 1) the over-month-long attempt to get Spartacus to print out the two photos e-mailed by Judy from Morocco, which he TOLD me I could "remind" him of until he did them, AND 2) the still-pending two lawyers, one for my will (which Shelley found L. to be a success at for "only" $400) and one for protecting "Zone," AND 3) learning Pinnacle, AND 4) learning the digital camera, AND 5) the others things stacked, and to-be-stacked, on the coffee table for "immediate" handling, which, with the completion of the Kenya trip, MAY include OTHER trips this year, like maybe a) Bhutan, maybe b) the three Baltic states (only 8 days, how bad could that be?---and maybe I can get them to waive a single supplement for a great new client), maybe c) the upper Amazon, maybe d) the Torres de Paine, maybe e) the river-cruise to the Black Sea, maybe f) some of the "Archaeological Tours" that I keep looking at dreamily, knowing no one else would want to come with me on them. And the list goes on! And the typing goes ON! But this finishes now at 8:25AM, time for breakfast, air conditioning, and getting to the five tasks on for TODAY: 1) RadioShack for cheap cell phone, 2) Beard for two meals, 3) C. for PSA reading, 4) Spartacus for printed photos, 5) TITLE-page proofreading. THAT'S it for now!

FRIDAY, 7/7/06: 9:32PM: Finished proofreading the last of the 78 TITLE pages, noting to intersperse the pages in the 15000 pages, and WHAT to do with TITLE - 77 and 78 which have no DIARY numbers? Still other pages to scan or retype, though many have been redone, and I have to think how to say "DIARY XX has been retyped as DIARY XXX." Sherryl finally gave me the last part of my delayed birthday present: admission to the Aquarium (but not my ride on the Cyclone); and I have to wait until her chemotherapy ends and her sense of taste is restored to give her HER late birthday present. Still haven't recharged my new cell phone, lots of things to catch up with, and happy that it's only 74° out while the oven is blasting away at my first tuna casserole in AGES. Took ONE Buspar this morning, and will take one with dinner, since I'm starting to feel the pressure of, well, BEING IN THE AIR exactly a week from now, on our way to London for 13 hours and then an 8-hour flight to Nairobi! Can't tell yet whether I'll use the free luggage from Reliable that I got by ordering (very early) another box of computer paper and 25 DVDs. So pleased with myself yesterday that I made TWO CD copies of JV (without the corrections to TITLE pages 61-78) and a CD copy of MC, which I'll tell Carolyn about before I leave. And have to call Rita on what I do for Paul's wedding!

WEDNESDAY, 7/12/06: 7:05AM: Finished a dream-entry [DREAMS:7/12/06] and want to catch up with today. Got to bed Monday night just before midnight, getting up about 7AM Tuesday thinking to be a bit tired so that I'll get to bed earlier Tuesday night, but I waste time on Spider, and at 12:58PM try to get the ultra-thin brushes at CVC but they may not have brought them up from the basement yet, so I say I'll be back in a couple of minutes and go to RadioShack to find a younger Steven cursing out an older Steve who did NOT enter 033036 as my birth-date as my V-code, so I couldn't order a Visa Top-Up of $15 each quarter when I phoned them since I didn't know my V-code, but was told I could find it if I put in my hair-color answer on the website, and he says he'll check various combinations of 03 and 30 and 36 and 1936 to see which Steve may have entered and he'll call me back on my answering machine. Back to CVC to have them say that the item is probably discontinued. Home to find that my V-code is 3301936, Steven not realizing it could be SEVEN digits, having called Steve to find out how he would have entered my birth date. Later phone Steven BACK to find that my hair color has been "correctly" changed to case-sensitive Brown. Now it's 1:20PM, terribly hot as I race down Henry to the A-train to get me to Asiate by 1:45PM, fearing to be late, but the A-train comes right in and I get there at 1:50PM to find Mildred among about 8 people waiting to be seated, as the earlier sitting is taking longer than expected. We wait, then are told to go to the parapet to sit, and finally a charming younger Chinese waiter, whom Mildred wants to hire for her company, if she had a company, offers us a drink, even wine, and accepts our orders for sweet kirs, which are just delicious as we wait until 2:20 to be seated. Then watch more of Ken's TV tapes, tape the first of three parts on String Theory on Channel 13, watch the beginning of a horrible Bad Santa with Billy Bob Thornton having NO redeeming characteristics by the time I switch to Tintin and I that goes longer than I thought from 10-11:20, so I get to bed later than I would have hoped, taking the third Buspar of the day. Wake at 2-something to pee, and again at 4-something so sweaty that I put on the air conditioner, which at last makes it cool enough that I stop sweating and try vainly, at first, with Actualism to get back to sleep, figuring it's not early enough to take a sleeping pill, and make a list of things to do today: 0) watch tapes, 1) set up Sherryl/Met Museum visit, 2) top up phone with Visa, 3) return Susie's phone call, 4) check e-mail, 5) find pounds for Britain, 6) sort through desk-shelf, 7) buy film, 8) see Met at noon, 9) return Ken's tapes, 10) call G.U.M., 11) call Times, can you hold at desk?, 12) call Tristan, 13) call Carolyn. Finish this at 7:20AM, ready to shit and get into the day. Then I go back to the 1-win Spider that I'd left at the bottom and got it up to a run of 5 wins, nowhere near a new high, but that takes until 8AM, when I finish this, ready for breakfast and tapes! 6:15AM Thursday: can't find the list, but DID all of 0,1,2,4,5,7,8,9,10, and 11. Put others on list for today. Both Sherryl and Charles called they wouldn't be going to Met, so I leave at 11AM, get both trains quickly, and get to Met at 11:50, going to roof to see clouds, but group gathers for noon "black cloud" until announcement is made that the explosive device didn't arrive because they thought it would be raining. So much for art! To lots of little shows: 1) Roof 11:55-12, 2) Betty Woodman (better than in gallery) 12:02-12:14, 3) Ikat textiles of Indonesia 12:15-12:45, 4) Kara Walker: After Katrina 12:56-1:06, 5) Klimt and Schiele porn 1:07-1:13, 6) lunch to 1:45, with portabello and a "Starry Sky" with champagne and Pernod and Cassis, 7) AngloMania with a Tom of Finland T-shirt with two cocks hanging down, 8) Sevres porcelain 2:03-2:08, 9) shit to 2:22, 10) on bus #3 2:30, 11) bought film from Adorama to 3:20, dropped tapes off at Ken's, home at 3:50, no mail distributed yet. E-mail, lots of phoning, finish tuna casserole for dinner at 9:20 with Buspar and Ambien, brush teeth, bed 9:55PM.

THURSDAY, 7/13/06: 6:27AM: Continued from above. Up at 5:05, breakfast, watch TV, hot and humid out, made a list to do today, leaving for Africa TOMORROW! New list: 1) lists for Paul, 2) call Carolyn, 3) call Tristan, 4) sort shelf, 5) pack, 6) freeze staples, 7) change bedclothes (for tomorrow, clearly), 8) D. at 8:30AM, 9) DB Bistro at 2:15, 10) take shower for D. Got to D. early, and she put in the gold, not telling me how much it weighed, told me why it was better than porcelain, and did the cleaning, saying she'll see me, not in December when she'll be on maternity leave, but in January. I congratulated her, and she "clarified" that she and her partner were "engaged." Had to get my cell phone REPROGRAMMED, and won't know if it works for another four hours, and somehow I have $22.50 in my balance. But maybe I DID have $35 in the account to start, as Spartacus suggests, and my "trying to phone" set me back $12.50 already! Got my PSA (0.49) from C., from 6/2, at last. Filled up the pillbox and an extra three days. Now to fill out the MEDICAL file. 6:45PM: Left word with Carolyn and Tristan to phone me before 8PM, but they haven't yet. Typed a D14211, hopefully not a duplicate, and sorted through the pages typed and the pages yet to be done, coming up with "16 pages yet to type," down from the 35 at first gasp, though ALL the LISTS have yet to be handled. Now that the TITLE pages have all been organized, I can incorporate those 79 "missing" pages into the 15000-page master file, along with the ones which I've noted have been REWRITTEN into different pages. Really getting niggling about all these things, and will have time to look into them in the great hiatus (providing I'm not seduced into an interpolated trip) between Kenya at the end of July and Chicago in November. [I do SO love my window: turn off the air conditioner, which has been freezing my knees, and glance out to see a gull drawing sinuous catenaries and Lissajous against the dark gray clouds below and the mottled colors of the tops of Brooklyn Heights: green trees, gray roofs, tan and yellow and red bricks, the black back windows of the Watchtower Building, which I hope becomes more cheery when turned into apartments.] Started an exhaustive list for Paul, including dismantling keys (if he chooses not to duplicate them) and putting them into an envelope to slip under the door. Managed to pass the time before leaving for lunch by stopping at Cadman Express and getting a $60 quote for picking up Ken and then me, the guy behind the desk saying, "It'll all be taken care of." Lunch not the best; I'm feeling very quiet and removed as Mildred and Spartacus argue back and forth about trivial notions of fact and truth. I keep seeing echoes of Mom's quiet as she slipped into Alzheimer's [leave a voicemail with Shelley to ask about her progress with HER testing, but she didn't answer as I asked my question]. Back with mail which I haven't read yet, and take a Valium because I'm feeling anxious, and then Marj, of all people, calls about 4:15 and, finding I have some spare time, proceeds to talk about stuff until about 4:45, when I say I really have to do SOMETHING constructive. Don't even attempt to see if the phone works: I won't take it; it'll sit until I get back. Make ANOTHER note for the calendar page when I get back to take care of things. Then play lots of Spider until 6:45, when I figure I'll finish this page and print out BOTH pages waiting to be printed. Only an hour left, now at 7PM, to try to bug British Airways about reserved seats. Tried until 8:10PM, didn't work, then went to Century Club to print out lists, then ribbon got caught, reprinted some pages, ended up typing this at 8:45PM, so much for getting to bed at just after 8PM. Still 79°, but I switched the printer back to this computer so that I could finish this page and print out the next two pages before going to bed, with a sleeping pill (took a Valium about 5PM, because I just was feeling too anxious, but the feeling has passed). Clearly the Buspar aren't doing very much, but I still want to finish out the pills so they won't be left hanging around for MORE than the ten years they're already outdated. Will try sleeping with only the fan, hoping not to sweat too much. Called Ken about the car and gave him the phone number in case they don't show up at 4. Paul called and suggested "we have lunch." Nothing like trying to run my life. Finally to the last line at 8:47PM, just to print these out, wash my face, and get to bed!!

                                  DIARY - 14211         

Common philosophical terms to be defined and fit into my system:
     wisdom/intelligence/knowledge/absolute knowledge/understanding/ignorance
     thesis/antithesis/synthesis -- Hegel linkage
     dogmatism/skepticism/mysticism -- Hegel linkage
     logical idea/being/essence/notion -- Hegel linkage
     "Philosophy of ___________" is whatever I define _________ to be
     progress ["to bottom p. 383 EB Vol. 11, no connection to Mali??]
     What Difference Does It Make?   WDDIM
And perversely, or not, this precisely fills one WordPerfect page.

FRIDAY, 7/14/06: 6:30AM: Last night I took Buspar and Ambien at 8:52 and got into bed at 8:59. Ken calls at 9:03, leaving a message that he had trouble with British Airways with seat assignments, but implies some progress with some seats. Phone rings again at 9:08 with no message, and quickly rings TWICE more before I drift off to sleep, once with Tristan (not giving his name, thinking I'm out---don't these people LISTEN?, since I said NOT to be called after 8PM because I'm on London time), another with no message (which was Ken). This morning I wake at 3:05, feeling pretty good, take the two NIGHT pills that I forgot to take last night, along with Buspar and Valium and try Actualism for another hour's sleep. 67° and the fan feels OK. Actualism works: I sleep to 5:35, OVER 8 hours, take the sheets off the bed, fill up the night-pill bottle, and have breakfast at 6AM, watching junk TV. Yesterday also got to Google to try ZolnerZone again, but again got 2,300,000 references to Zolnierze (obviously Polish for Soldiers) and when I restricted it to English references, got "only" 302,000 references. Abercrombie continued to come up with a black screen after which I'd be pushed off the Internet, so Spartacus knows some secret, or has some operating system, that I don't know about. Printed out the Century Club list of 315 countries, along with the countable "retired" countries, so I've undoubtedly got over 150, though there are 5 or 6 people who have gone to them ALL, and the site talks about dozens of others, some as young as 2 years old. Look up frequent-flyer brochures and find that Kenya is associated with Northwest and British Air with AAdvantage, so I take BOTH cards and ask why I can't get seat assignments with windows NOW. Clear off desk and start packing at 6:50AM. 9:30AM: Go through many meticulous things: dating puzzles, cleaning the bathroom sink, making a phone message, unpacking all the 20 new rolls of film (putting the two OLD rolls in the "next to use" bag), adding a second four-hour videotape just in case, putting back on the shelf unnecessary Go Ahead stuff. Called Ken at 9AM, who told me HE talked to two staff and two supervisors, ONE of whom said he would send an e-mail that would "guarantee" our wanted window seats. Let's hope so. Called Carolyn at home, then on her cell phone, and she was in Minnesota and annoyed that the calls from her home phone were SUPPOSED to be forwarded to her CELL phone---and weren’t. I told her about my recent file-duplicates on the top shelf, which she (and I) said she assumed she'd never have to access. Called Tristan again, then on his cell, and he was busy and would call me back. Ken hung up to have breakfast at 9:30AM and here I'm feeling hungry for LUNCH. Put out five sets of underwear and socks and will take five shirts. Piled in my "black overnight" bag successfully into my blue shoulder bag, so I can check my big bag through to Kenya, hoping Ken does the same. Washed the dishes, made a new container of apple juice that Paul can drink or throw out, and will now continue packing at 9:40AM; I think I'm ahead of schedule. 11:10AM: The black bag is going to be a problem: no pockets; all the convenience of the GET bag is bottled up inside. Had to open it to get Saturday morning's pills, put in more puzzles and magazines for the plane, and almost forgot to overnight-pack my good shoes! Emptied the aspirin/melatonin to get another plastic pill-holder, of which I thought I had more. Had lunch, and verified that, if Tristan calls and Paul rings from downstairs, I simply hit "3" to stop the call, hit "9" to let Paul in, and that, or hitting "3" again, reconnects the call. Had lunch, finishing the Braunschweiger (and when I went to check the spelling, it was RIGHT!), and putting out bags to SHOW Paul how to empty and refill trash. Now 11:15AM and I feel I have to shit. 11:55AM: Ken calls asking if I have a CALCULATOR for African shillings! AND someone asked him to buy $100 worth of Kente cloth, which he expects ME to have to spare cash to give him! He surely doesn't know me that well. Find an old, useless calculator that I should probably throw out, but it needs a hex screwdriver to even get to replace the battery, so the whole thing's a loss. Play Spider then to 1:40PM, jumping up to take my melatonin and a Buspar, and figure to finish packing EVERYTHING, since Paul's not going to show up in much time to just show him what to do, shower, and GO! 2:05PM: How maddening! I'd left the PHONE off the hook in the living room when Ken called at 11:55AM, not noticing it until 1:42PM when I went to take a shower; and the INSTANT I hung up, Paul called to say that his plane had JUST LANDED, two hours late in taking off because of air-conditioning problems, and he was about to get into a cab! I said I was leaving at 4PM. Then dash into the shower, knowing he won't show up, wondering if Tristan tried to call, but that's HIS problem. Can't resist starting this page, drying off from the shower before putting on clothes, at 2:07PM. Keep packing, and finally Paul shows up at 2:40, and it's all I can do to explain the trash, the video complex, and the back door, and he mentions water, which I'd forgotten to take, and then at the last asks for a drawer in which he can put things. I finish this all and get a call from Ken at 3:55 saying to be sure to bring a jacket for London and Nairobi, and I assure him I'm bringing TWO jackets. The black bag is a real pain, might not use it so much. So now at 4:13 all I have to do is wait for the call from the cab with Ken, and Paul wants to come down to say hello to him, so he'll carry a bag and take care of the keys: I even introduced him to Bob L., Beverley, and two desk-people! TRAVEL:KENTANZ