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2010 6 of 7

WEDNESDAY, 9/15/10: Pee at 7:02AM; take valium; up at 9:35AM. Make another list: 1) pay taxes, 2) Mallett 11:30AM, 3) typhoid #2 at 1:20PM, 4) Sharon 4:45, 5) FIVESTAN at 7PM, with seven people? 6) clean apartment. Phone Marj at 11AM to find she did NOT cash her check, so I can pay my NYS estimated tax with my HSBC balance. Have to leave through the garage to mail my checks as they're finally taking down the last bit of scaffolding from the entrance passageway. Get out to Dr. Mallett's office by 11:38AM. See MEDICAL:9/15/10. Think to check my HSBC balance and, after anguish, find that I added Charles's $255 check TWICE, so I have to add $153 from my total of $160 cash to allow the check to clear! Glad I checked! But feel STUPID! Take typhoid pill #2 at 1:20PM and have lunch an hour later, cleaning up the apartment for the show tonight. Cleaning and vacuuming and rearranging the furniture takes up all the time until I leave for Sharon at 4:30PM, again through the garage. They're still hosing down the pavement when I return at 5:40PM, but Joshua says the door will be open by 7PM. Finish transcribing Sharon's session at 6PM, after talking to Elsie, who said she was bringing her walker AND BROWNIES to my show at 7PM, and she'd be able to come in the front door with her walker. They arrive first, carrying brownies, then Piri with blueberries, then John and Stephanie---who brought chocolates---together; Carolyn calls to say her anus hurts, so she won't be coming this evening; then Shelley arrives last, bringing her own bottle of Snapple, and has a pained look on her face most of the evening. I start the show about 7:15 and finish the first half about 8:05, when they say I should phone for a Fascati pizza, which will arrive in half an hour. Piri gives $5, Leon $5, Stephanie $5, and Shelley $1, so I "lose" $4 on the $20-including-tip pizza with mushrooms that John finishes half a slice of. They leave about 9:15PM and I clean up, even washing dishes, and continue reading "Freedom" to page 420 by 12:26PM, highly entertained. Note that I vacuumed. Bed 12:36AM.

SHARON B. 151 9/15/10

Think, "Oh, I'm going to be late," looking at my watch at 4:38, but a few steps later realize my session starts at 4:45, not 4:40. Get in to tell her about the entry of $255 into my account book TWICE, and getting SO angry with the person at Schwab who tried to tell me why I had a CONTINUING "minimum interest charge," and couldn't even remember the term PAYOFF amount. Got SO angry in the retelling, that I could feel my heart pounding, and I described that as ALSO the feeling that I got after having too much to eat at lunch Monday and Tuesday, making me VERY aware of my heart, and not feeling good about it. But then mentioned the thyroid (yes, did NOT say typhoid a few times) pill, and she said THAT could cause my heart to react. "Why do you feel so angry when things go wrong?" she asked for the third time, and I came to the VERY BASIC conclusion that, since I've finally gotten to the point where I've done everything I've HAD to do, I DESERVE that things will go well into the future (which of course is impossible), and when they don't, it just PISSES ME OFF! It shouldn't happen to ME like that. And of course I understand that's stupid, and then even reveal that I took a valium this morning, but it didn't help with not getting angry at myself, which again stems from early childhood when I didn't have anything to do. She even suggests I should WALK more! Maybe made a mistake by saying Mom sometimes asked me for a song title that SHE knew, just to make me feel intelligent when I knew it; and continued by "excusing" the taxi driver that she reported making her so VERY angry when he'd say "Grand Central, that's at 34th Street?" by saying that's what HE was trying to do, make her feel good by knowing more about the location of Grand Central than HE did. So I had to phumpher to say that Mom would sometimes ask out of ignorance, just wanting to know, and sometimes out of knowing, just wanting a way to compliment me, which she hardly ever did in person, but was free with in the presence of relatives or even strangers. And I said I NOW realized that people at 90 COULD still talk about the effect of their long-dead mother, and Sharon agreed: "They're everything to you when you're growing up; they FORM your way of thinking and being; only when you become an adult can you do that for yourself." I even sat two minutes after 5:30, acutely uncomfortable, to let my adrenalin simmer down, angry with myself for feeling angry, Sharon insisting that it's not that simple at ALL, but depends on what had happened way back in the past.

THURSDAY, 9/16/10: 7:35AM note DREAMS:9/16/10. Pee; make 10-item list. Up at 8:48AM. 1:03PM: Try to catch up, but have to leave early to deposit $153 at HSBC to maintain check-cashing balance and get to Resto at 2PM to meet Charles, who I called to make sure he's willing to pay me for his lunch that I'll put on my credit card, so I'll have more than $3 cash in my wallet until 9/27 and my social-security money arrives. 5:43PM: INCREDIBLE rain-storm reached its apex about fifteen minutes ago when Tris called from Jersey, saying it had gone through there in a flurry fifteen minutes before that, and that he was going to Carolina for a week starting tomorrow, and as I talked, the rain was so heavy it almost obscured 75 Henry from my view, while before that the rain against that building was SO voluminous that it actually flowed off the facade in a WATERFALL! Then it began to HAIL, some stones over a half-inch across, bouncing off the top of my air conditioner as I sat, fascinated, at my desk. The rain BEAT against my windows, having blown them shut earlier, again in a FURY of quantity that was incomparable in my experience (except maybe that once in a car with Susie driving up to the Adirondacks). The storm here was preceded by INTENSE lightning (though the thunder wasn't very strong) bolts over Manhattan and eastern Jersey. The lightning was VIVID white against the gray background of muzzy clouds. And now isolated gray whales of clouds float northeast, low in the sky, as the surrounding horizon brightens. The temperature went from 70( at the start, then plummeted in five minutes down to 65(. MARVELOUS to see the wave of rain come across the Heights from the southwest, block by block, rooftop by rooftop, until my windows were obscured by the storm's water. FABULOUS to be able to see! Don O'Shea even e-mails me about possible nearby damage the next day. Forgot to note that I went to the gym this morning. Play Spider 5:48-6:35, ending at 51.34738 at 587 up after 3 wins. Play Solitaire 6:35-7:45. Read "Freedom" to page 485 by 9:17PM, too tired to read more. Have dinner and read to page 527 to 11PM, eyes closing. Bed at 11:09PM.

FRIDAY, 9/17/10: Aware of having waked at 4:10AM, but didn't get up. Up at 7:28AM with a strange dream that I devote from 7:30-7:54AM to describe as fully as I can, trying to capture the odd effects of the object, the place, and my reactions to them. Then pee for the first time since I went to bed at 11:09PM, now at 7:57AM almost nine hours ago. Finish reading Franzen's "Freedom" to the end at page 562 from 8:07-8:55AM. Either yesterday or today Birch sent an e-mail, and I tried changing my credit card number, but at the end it didn't go through! I send a nasty message, and Debbie CALLS BACK and accepts my new card number! So the LAST of my accounts is now billed to 3239 rather than 6677! Play a blessedly quick Spider from 10:15-10:45AM to 51.34949 at 588 up after 2 wins. Taipei 10:45-11, interrupted by calling Marj to crow about Debbie's phone call. Then Solitaire 11:35-12:50. Take typhoid pill #3 at 1PM and subway to Smoke Joint for OK ribs, enjoying watching the passersby, getting a free transfer by taking the bus back home. Mail provides the 2009 ASME catalog and "Equal Rites." Start to read Pratchett's "Equal Rites," but my eyes are closing and I lay down for a nap 5:30-6:30. Up to play Taipei 6:40-8:15PM. Start Solitaire 8:15, interrupting to watch fireworks from 8:30-8:50, mostly reflected off the Manhattan East River buildings, but some high-flown bursts reveal their extreme right edges. Continue Solitaire to MIDNIGHT! Just MADNESS! Have the last of the brownish hamburger and continue reading to digest and get to bed at 1:21AM.

SATURDAY, 9/18/10: 2:43AM: Dream of fixing up my room and my tent. Pee. Pee again at 5:17AM. 7:45AM up for the Times. Do the puzzles until 11AM. Finish reading "Equal Rites." Play Spider too long from 1:35-4PM for a continuing series of highs to 51.3511 at 589 up after 3 wins. Lunch. Taipei 4:45-7PM, much too long! Play Solitaire 7-11:45PM, for a TOTAL WASTE OF TIME! Again have a very late dinner, starting to read "Orlando." Bed 1:40AM.

SUNDAY, 9/19/10: Pee at 7:32AM. Up at 9AM for last typhoid pill, read the Times, and have oatmeal at 10AM. Read more, and then have the compulsion to jerk off from 11:25-12:05PM, again having to use aloe to sooth my abraded flesh. Then worried by the SOUNDLESSNESS of the "regular" screen, while the "HD" screen has sound. Finally think to re-insert the red plug I'd taken out on Wednesday, and blessedly the sound returns. Leave at 12:48PM for the Games Group, but the 2-train goes local to 79th by 1:30PM, the bus is very slow and busy, having to detour up to 86th because of a street fair on Columbus Avenue, and I'm to Piri's at 2:10, cursing the New York transit system. Only Piri, Caesar, Alexandra, and I play Quiddler, then the boxed Scattergories, and I remark how quiet it is since Diane doesn't show up until 5:10PM. Everyone laughs. Great day. Take the bus down York to 57th and 8th, then the 2-train makes local stops home. Collect the mail from Saturday's delivery and finally finish the Sunday Times. Watch "Broadway Empire" #1, not that great, and finish Woolf's "Orlando." Bed at 12:48AM, exhausted.

MONDAY, 9/20/10: Wake at 5:25AM to pee and search out the Aspercreme from below the bathroom sink and grind it into the sore base of my left thumb, and then put the soothing lotion on my lower calves. Up at 8:41AM to record DREAMS:9/20/10. Read Franzen's "The Discomfort Zone," pleasantly entertaining, having breakfast during it. Return Mildred's call, and she suggests I bring all my tax information with me to lunch with her at La Grenouille tomorrow. Play Spider 12:10-1PM, just OK to new high of 51.35321 at 590 up after 2 wins. Go to the gym 1:15-2:40, picking up the mail and starting the New York magazine puzzle when Marj calls from 3-4:15 to tell me about the missing three-named playwright that she fears may have died. Then I have a large lunch from HH meals and start reading Piri's lent copy of Theroux's "Dark Star Safari" in preparation for my Africa trip. Then play Taipei 6:35-8:30, pausing to take a picture of a cloud perched atop the completed Beekman Tower. 8:30PM: After having avoided filling in the journal all day, I finally get down to it: 1) transcribe the Spiders, Taipeis, and Solitaires to 9:10PM, having taken time out to finish the New York magazine puzzle just to DO it; 2) transcribe notes (finding I have to reprint NK - 16; I'm just TOO messed up!) to 1oPM, only getting to last WEDNESDAY, but I've GOT to have dinner NOW! Eat an apple, nuts, two pieces of cheddar cheese, and two HH bars with apple juice and my evening pills, reading to page 90 by 10:42PM. Back to transcribe last Wednesday. Print out many pages, clean up the living room to at least get the ASME Catalog into the bedroom, and finish at 12:10AM. Really ready for BED! Powder crotch and bed at 12:20AM.

TUESDAY, 9/21/10: Pee at 1:56AM AND 1:58AM. Chills! Pee at 3:52AM. Dream of three red ants in the bend of my eyeglasses and wake up itchy, and put lotion on feet. Pee at 6:23AM and watch sun rise at 6:41AM JUST past the new apartment blocking the horizon. Watch light come to Manhattan buildings to 7:14AM, at 58(, reflecting angularly off Beekman Tower, with cranes atop 1 WTC just visible behind nearer skyscrapers. Back to bed at 7:27AM. Actualism to 8:56AM, categorizing ENLIGHTENMENT in three areas: 1) at mental, as dispelling ignorance and fear, 2) at emotional as lifting darkness of mood, 3) at perceptual as reducing weight and heaviness. Up at 8:56AM, pee again, and check that CVS didn't get Mallett's prescription for flomax. Type this to 9:30AM, ready to start the day with breakfast. BUT, I start with Spider 9:30-10:50, too long, to 51.3573 at 592 up after 3 wins, still highest. THEN breakfast, and update my index list with GREAT difficulty, throwing away pages from 2008, and copy a number of pages, six, to be exact, for Mildred, until 12:40PM, when I write this and get ready for La Grenouille. Get there right on time; the room is high ceilinged and overflowing with enormous bouquets of fresh flowers and branches of flowering trees. Service is wonderful, though at the end Mildred says she thought her two-course meal was going to be $20 and not $40. I took the 3-course $35 fixed menu of curried lentil soup, chicken breast in a delicious beefy sauce, with great toasted bread from her foie gras appetizer, and, when I got down to the caramel sauce at the bottom, passably good rice pudding. Didn't register that my Visa bill of $35 didn't reflect tax until she mentioned her tax seemed high, and I gave her $2 (it should have been $3) and she praised me, not for my honesty, she said she knew I was honest, but for "my integrity." Thanks a lot. Home to mess up the TV Guide sudoku (as I'd TWICE messed up the SIMPLE sudoku in Metro; the hard one wasn't messed up) and finish reading Pratchett's "The Light Fantastic," noting only a typo on page 64: "only too easy to imagine;" his typical sly, quick humor on page 151: "Twoflower sat in front of Herrena which, since he was fairly short, meant that at least he kept his ears warm;" and, on page 198, his title reference: "the light that lies on the far side of darkness, the light fantastic," from the Octavo, the volume that contained the eight spells, one of which inhabited Rincewind, which saved Discworld from destruction. Then decide to tackle the question of journals for 1960 through 1968. See WEBSITE:9/21/10. Watch the end of a terrible "Drag Me to Hell" while eating dinner. Bed at 1:35AM!

WEDNESDAY, 9/22/10: Pee at 3:12, 3:14, 4:36, and 7:35, wondering if this is caused by anxiety about trip. Up at 8:35AM, luxuriating in doing what I want to do by checking Henry VIII [no physical description or details about medical conditions at ALL] in EB11, then going on to check Richard Coeur de Lion for homosexuality, which term isn't even IN the index, nor is there any mention of it under Sex. Penis is indexed just twice, very clinically. There's actually more emphasis on the prostate in the text. Very dry text, but I'm happy I've made EB11 more accessible. Then order HH meals for 9/29-10/1, marking OFF any delivery 10/2-26. Mention to Sharon that Janis might even call to inquire about what looks to be a vacation. Spartacus calls, clarifying that he saw FIVESTAN with the O'Sheas, not Mildred, so I phone Mildred and start with "Abject apology," and she takes it in a good mood, starts talking about my 2009 tax report, leading me to look at Schwab forms, and I cut her off at 10:30AM saying I'm starved for breakfast, but I VERY much appreciate what she's doing for me. Then Charles calls, saying I've been on the phone, and we arrange to meet at the Met at 2:30PM until I hang up and remember that I have to see Sharon at 4:45, so I call him back and make the date for TOMORROW. Breakfast of lovely fruit salad and delectable maple syrup on half the huge portion of cottage cheese, while reading more of Theroux. Some confusion as to when I actually FINISHED reading "The Light Fantastic," which MAY have been THIS morning, rather than yesterday. How compulsive can I be to worry about THAT? Then work on WEBSITE:9/22/10 until time for Sharon, stop off at CVS to be FIRST told that I DON'T have a prescription for flomax, but when I talk to "pretty eyelashes," he remembers that the woman HAD gotten through to Dr. Mallett and my prescription IS ready: somehow the woman was looking for ZON rather than ZOL. Get the mail, watch the end of "Sunset Boulevard" from 7:30-7:45, prepare a relatively good HH dinner of turkey meatloaf, mashed potatoes (with a large added pat of butter) and, unusually, a small piece of squash with the black skin still on. Watch "Five Graves to Cairo," remembering ONLY the five letters of Egypt as depot locations, and check that I saw it only once before in 1975. Then back to scanning 9:55-11:55, feeling VERY happy with it. Wash face, brush teeth, and get to bed at 12:31AM.

SHARON B. 152 9/22/10

Get in ELATED with "new mania," scanning the DATEBOOK pages. I give her a brief background and end by saying that "When I'm not thinking, I'm just fine," and then immediately describe the ANXIETY, the wordless FEELING OF HEAVINESS on my body when I woke up this morning. Probably due to the upcoming trip, and things have been MUCH better lately, since prior to this (well, years prior) I'd start counting the days EVERY day for a MONTH beforehand, and be preoccupied with the trip while watching dance or plays, which doesn't happen now. Mention also that, as the date of a traumatic trip nears, I begin to get cramps in my legs (mentioning Spartacus's report of a crippling cramp in both the top and bottom muscles of his thigh) and hands, and that hasn't happened yet. Also say I've been READING a lot, and then get to the fact that I'd thrown out lots of "dross" of marked paperback books by Virginia Woolf, keeping the two first editions---[check Google and a SIGNED "Flush" is $1400, but even a NEW is "only" $140, and a number of "Freshwater" copies are available starting at $1.03. So much for getting rich THAT way!] So I'm "preparing for the end." Also sending other things to Tris for the website, and know I'll eventually enumerate the pricey stamps for John as my executor. Praise Mildred for helping me with my taxes, amazing Sharon, particularly with Mildred's volunteering to help me negotiate my penalties if I'm ever audited when I was putting 25% of income, even from savings, rather than only EARNED income, into Keogh. Say how pleasant she's been, even though she will add an occasional stinger. Maybe almost blush when Sharon suggests I've planted the idea in Mildred's head that I'd love to be mentioned in her will, though I say I'd NEVER say that explicitly to her. She gladly accepts my "abject apology" because Spartacus tells me he saw my FIVESTAN show not with Mildred and Joy, but with the O'Sheas! Mildred almost laughs at my mistake, rather than castigating me for saying she was wrong when she was right, though she DOES say she doesn't like to be compared to Spartacus. Talk about Charles's patience with my not going to the Met Museum today because I'd have to leave too early to get to Sharon's, but he's willing to go tomorrow. And my only index won't be in until Friday. Relate a bit of the dream, and Sharon asks me what I think about when I think of Angela Lansbury, and she leaps to the idea that I adore her being old and still being very productive and popular. I say the dream wasn't "different enough" to warrant my printing it out and bringing it in---the typical "Oh, I won't be able to see this opera" dream. Talk a few minutes past 5:30, and leave saying that I have just one more session before my trip. Very up session.

THURSDAY, 9/23/10: Up at 8:20AM, noting "long time no pee," and actually pee at 8:37AM after working a bit on WEBSITE:9/23/10, after 8:06, rather a switch from the FOUR times per night on Tuesday and Wednesday mornings. WHY such a drastic change? Relief on "getting the anxiety off my mind" with Sharon's session yesterday? Finish catching up on NK and WEBSITE by 10AM, really ready for breakfast. Start on ASME Catalog 11:50-12:45. Then scan in DAT67 and DAT66 to 1:30 (finishing 8:10-8:30 this evening) when I leave to meet Charles at 2:35 at the Met: 1) Levinstein photos 2:46-3:02, 2) Photography 3:05-3:55, really LOOKING at video and other images that Charles doesn't appreciate, 3) Lunch 4-4:25, being practically CHASED out because they close at 4:30, 4) wander classics like Crivelli, El Greco, Rembrandt, and Goya to 4:50, when I go out on the balcony for 5) ceramics and glass, chased out at 5:20, to policed 79th Street, with barricades around the Museum of Natural History, and get home well after 6PM. Watch "Buddha" a second time, remembering it as relatively unresolved as to how he actually ATTAINED Nirvana. Read more of Theroux after having had dinner with TV, play Spider from 11:30PM to 2AM, DOWN to 51.35407 at 591 up after 3 wins, truly disgusted, and get to bed at 2:04AM.

FRIDAY, 9/24/10: Note to myself: Sharon, the word I was trying to think of, that I don't do (much) any more: BROOD. Note to Tris: Glossary is a JEWEL! Pee at 7:57AM. Up 9:23AM. Start Spider 10-10:30AM, arranging to meet Spartacus tonight, have breakfast, get out to have my glasses adjusted VERY well, it seems, and get to Chin at 12:34PM, see MEDICAL:9/24/10, forgetting to say that he doesn't recommend allergy shots or medications for my cough and mucus. Back to mail and lunch and resume Spider 2:10-4, too long, but ending at 51.36236 at 595 up after 5 wins to get back to highest. Lunch while reading Theroux, then more ASME 5:20-6:15, when I leave to meet Spartacus for NYC Ballet, seeing Monumentum Pro Gesualdo, Movements for Piano and Orchestra, Duo Concertante, and Opus19/The Dreamer, all pretty academic and boring, except for Garcia's crotch in the last. Then Luce Nacasta is more Broadway "West Side Story" than anything else, though the shirtless men are easy to watch. Fascati's is closed, so I settle for cream cheese and jelly sandwiches while reading Theroux. Bed at 12:50AM.

SATURDAY, 9/25/10: SEVERE right-ankle cramp before I pee at 3:28AM. Pee again at 5:41AM, squeeze pimple on back, great for Steven's nude dinner tonight! Up at 8:08AM, get the Times, do the puzzles by 11, and get back to ASME for most of the marking of the books from 11:05-2:05PM. Then lunch of frozen manicotti, just sufficient, and then call Marj to delay her cashing her check until OCTOBER 28th! She talks my ear off to 3:40, when I say I have to shower, having decided not to go to the gym. Catch up with MEDICAL and NK to 4:25PM, ready for my shower and the subway to Steve's. Wait long time for slow train and get there last of four at 5:35PM. Steve puts two Band-Aids on my back, and Michael works for hours on a ten-course Trinidad/Indian meal of 1) spicy veal, 2) shrimp with eggplant, 3) tandori-like chicken, 4) chick peas, 5) green peas, 6) "torn-shirt" bread and paratha, 7) Steve's peach chutney and Michael's chutney, 8) Steve's raspberry-flavored seltzer. We fill up, sit on the sofa and talk, have a mango clafouti dessery with tea, and Eric gives Michael a campy satin apron with bugle beads and glitter. Leave about 10:40, stuffed, and home to get to bed at 11:20PM.

SUNDAY, 9/26/10: Another right-ankle-top cramp when I get up to pee at 2:20AM. Up at 8:05 and read Times to 9:30, then look at old records to see that I spent $161.80 on those rip-off South Beach tooth products, figuring I did my first with the tray DiMatteo made for me around April, and the second last month sometime when I put it on my list of things-to-do, and hopefully the third today. Get an unsolicited "software reseller" spam that I unsubscribe to, the 29th since I started my "unsubscribe" list on 12/22/09. Then delete SEVEN spams with Verizon, wishing they'd filter spam better. Now to water plants and have breakfast at 10:18AM, kids screaming through my open window now that it's cool, around 69(, after the 80s the previous two days, supposedly cool and dry for today's picnic on Governor's Island. Go through the Scott Catalogs, Volumes 2, 3, and 4, from 2009, cataloging whatever I can, finishing 11-12:30PM. Leave home at 12:50, Carolyn calling from Brooklyn to say that the usual bus has been cancelled because of the Atlantic Antic today, so she had to go to Manhattan to take the ferry to Governor's Island from there, and would meet me on the island, in the "only" picnic area. LONG line, mainly kosher Jewish family, ugly women and uglier men and hordes of screaming kids, at 1:07, after pushing through the crowds on only ONE boring block of Atlantic Avenue between Henry and Hicks Streets; they say a million people were there in the whole ten blocks. At 1:26 a ferry pulls in, we all get on at 1:33 and it takes off at 1:34 and lands at 1:37, where I see a sign pointing to the south to Picnic Point, 22 minutes! Walk the long way, in the street, ignoring the pedicabs, bicycles, and trams passing me. Search the spotty picnic crowds, mostly Jewish, and setting in a red chair at 2:05 near a group of four older whites who seem to the be the closest to any group that Carolyn would join. At 2:17 it starts to rain, so I get up and look for Carolyn again: she said she was THERE, with a group under a tent, but I didn't see her, and she roamed the shore, looking outward for me, and when I said I was sitting with my back to the water, she said that was probably why she didn't see me. Back north to circle the other groups of picnic benches, passing the trapeze demonstration and groups circled around trams, but I'm hungry and tired of walking, and sweaty, even though the sprinkle of rain has stopped. At 2:50 reach the ferry landing to find an almost-full one ready to leave, and I sit in its noisy, crowded cabin at 2:53 and it goes at 2:54, for some reason havering back and forth in Buttermilk Channel, to land at 3:06. Weary walk home to 3:28, exhausted, having lunch and reading Theroux, then settle for Spider from 4:10-5:20, ending at 51.37144 at 599 up after 5 wins, still highest. Then go on to scan pages DAT65-DAT61 from 5:30-8PM, eyes tired of the work, stopping to see what's on TV, watching a trash "Highwaymen" with an always-appealing Caviezel, then recording the musically wonderful end of "Dragonheart" on DVD, and then re-watch "The Invention of Lying," which I guess I only saw the VERY end of before. Still don't feel like bed, so I play Taipei from 11:59PM-12:45AM, and then Solitaire 12:45-1:20AM, getting to bed at 1:22AM.

MONDAY, 9/27/10: Slightly concerned about the trip NEXT WEEK! Debate taking a valium, but don't. Up at 8:28AM, not having to get up to pee between. Shit, and decide on scanning DAT60 and DAT59 from 8:50-9:41AM. Then call Workoff with ASME Catalog questions from 9:42-10:25, happy to be so productive with him. Breakfast of enormous HH pancakes, peameal bacon, and apples, adding butter and maple syrup, and continue reading to the end of another Theroux chapter before coming to NK and finish catching up by 12:10PM, ready to indulge in Spider, ending highest again after 12:10-12:35PM to 51.37324 at 600 up after 2 wins. Now what? Still raining, but I've got to get out to get my hepatitis B shot and water John's plants. Get to Area C at 1:03PM and ask for nurse Walters, but she's not on this floor. Read Theroux and this chubby, energetic Black enters and later calls me Z-Zak: she remembers me from a flu shot some years ago when she asked how to pronounce my name! I compliment her on her memory, she gives me the shot, and I'm out at 1:44PM. Water John for the first time, home to look at scanty mail, no magazines, and get to DAT58-DAT55 from 2:25-4:16, down to 27 minutes per page. Have lunch and finish reading Theroux's "Dark Star Safari," not really that much help on my upcoming trip---NEXT WEEK!! Scan DAT54-DAT49 from 6:15-8:38PM, then get to the Conference index for ASME from 8:45-10:15PM, coming up with questions 33-42 for Workoff tomorrow. Dinner reading the soon-due Pratchett "Thief of Time," not as funny as his prior books. Bed 12:38AM.

TUESDAY, 9/28/10: Up at 7:48AM, eager to get into day. Have breakfast, taking lots of liquid with my first mefloquine, then catch up on REORGCHR:9/28/10 and WEBSITE:9/28/10, realizing with delight that I've done 30 of the 58 DATEBOOK pages needing to be scanned to make up the journals for the 60s. Then catch up with this to 9:13AM, ready to phone Workoff! Leave word and start on scanning, but remember that I ALSO threw out, finally, the coming-apart leather slippers and started wearing ANOTHER "stored" old pair of slippers which are too narrow in the toes for comfort: just GOT to get a GOOD pair of slippers! Scanned 9 pages, see WEBSITE:9/28/10. Leave word with Workoff at 9:15, scan 9:15-11:09, have breakfast with mefloquine #1 and lots of water, get back to Workoff and do much 11:30-1:30, continue (according to my notes) with scanning 1:25-3:33, when I stop for lunch, the back to ASME 5:13-6:13, entering new book titles, and get out in time to get to Borobudur slides at 6:30-7:30, shop at PayLess for a pair of 38-30 pants that are too tight in the waist and too long, a pair of size 10-11 slippers that are STILL quite snug, and supplies of dried dates and cranberries. Back to pick up HH meals which, for the first time, are LACKING ANY SNACKS! More to do tomorrow. Three magazines in mail, New York magazine finally renewed into 2014, watch a cute traveler in Mongolia while I have a frozen pasta dinner at 11:30PM, and get to bed at 12:40AM.

WEDNESDAY, 9/29/10: Appalled to see that I'm now FIVE days from the gym, so I've GOT to go today. Pee at 7:43, taking a valium because I'm starting to feel pressures from trip, index, and problem with Internet Explorer: when fussing with my sticky mouse, I somehow moved the "new message" block to the upper left, when I can't access it! Phoned Romit last night and left message, and phoned again this morning at 9:22AM, again getting a "leave message" message. After I took a valium I got out the Aspercreme for my painful trumb-wrist joints, and did a wonderful Actualism session that, with the valium, seemed to get me into my day. Threw away the trash from my trip to PayLess last night, caught up with WEBSITE:9/28/10, and now finish this at 9:33AM, ready for breakfast. Spartacus calls when I'm finishing, again berating me for not having call waiting, since I tell him I'm waiting for Charles (who I call at 10:30 and he says he's sorry he hadn't called; when I told him I was on the phone, he said, "Oh, so I could have lied." I said, "You're too good for that." We'll meet at La Grenouille at 1:30PM. Ah, forgot I have to reconfirm! Do that. Leave a THIRD message for Romit, having SET UP the e-mail to Workoff, but have no way of SENDING it! Now to more scanning at 10:45AM. See WEBSITE:9/29/10. Workoff calls 12:20-12:25PM to clarify my "final" (until the next ones) questions. La Grenouille isn't as dynamite the second time: the appetizer carrot salad is good, but not great, though the lamb filets are delicious, and I barely resist asking for the last morsel that Charles (even though he'd wanted to finish) lets the waiter take away. Charles even eats the chocolate mousse balls for dessert, and doesn't throw up. At the end the try to get rid of us by clearing off all the other tables, and even though Charles has coffee, the only mignardises we get are measly chocolate-cake squares, no tuiles, no jellies, no other bonbons. So much for THAT! I get home too late for the gym, consoling myself that I did, in fact, shower on Sunday before Steve's dinner, so I'm only four days behind showering if I go to the gym on Thursday. Romit calls about 4PM, saying he was only my contact for the sale of the flashdrive and referring me to the Tech Support phone number. I phone that at 4:03PM, he looks at the screen and gets the "Send Message" block out of the corner, remarking that I COULD have put the cursor on the very BOTTOM of the top bar, which I'd in fact used to CLOSE the window, to pull it down. Should have tried it, but didn't, but at least the problem's solved by 4:20PM, with reference number 823562217, which I copy down for no particular reason. Get to Sharon on the dot of 4:45PM and she's still talking to the previous person, apologizing for running late when I enter about 4:48PM. I said I was late, too. Mediocre last-before-trip session. Decide not to stop at CVS for my stool softener, leaving it for the time I'll pick up my next set of prescriptions. Forgot to mention my morning SPIDER session from 7:53-9:15AM, to a new high of 51.38177 at 604 up after 5 wins. Back to lots of mail and magazines, Scientific American among them. Do more scanning, see WEBSITE:9/29/10, 9:15-10:57PM, and then had the last frozen dinner while watching a cute kid traveling through Mongolia on "Roughing it." Read more of Pratchett and get to bed at 12:13AM.

SHARON B. 153 9/29/10

Vaguely intended to record this on Wednesday, but I had other priorities that I suppose my morning valium let take over. Thursday was busy, too, so it's now Friday at 9:43AM. Started by asking about "taking too much valium," but she supposed that my dose was only 5, though I later find it's 10, and said that I might suffer "night sweat" when I go off it after 5-6 days, but it's nothing to worry about. Say that all my activities---indexing, reading, scanning---has kept my mind from BROODING (that was the word I'd forgotten last week, and she notes it down) about the trip. When I praise myself in the 60s for doing SO MUCH in the line of sex, movies, plays, books, while holding down a job with IBM that involved lots of overtime, she suggests that THAT ALSO would make my "idle moments" so unusual NOW that I don't quite know what to do with them EXCEPT brood. Mention my wrist-rubbing to ease my arthritic-joint pain, and says, again, that this is a VERY ambitious trip and it's NORMAL to feel some anxiety about it. Again I stress that now, thankfully, it's not about the flight BEFORE the trip, but the TRIP ITSELF, since I'd been sick or disabled so many time on recent trips I fear it happening again on THIS trip, though there are only TWO problematic days: the treks in the jungles for the chimps in Uganda and the gorillas in Rwanda. Mention the "lost" "send-message" box, the lunches at La Grenouille, the joys of scanning and indexing and reading books, and we establish that my next session will be on October 27th. I leave pretty much on the dot of 5:30PM.

THURSDAY, 9/30/10: Pee at 3:03AM, jotting an indecipherable note about a dream involving a T-shirt. Pee at 6AM, again jotting a dream about a fireman, both of which dreams have now vanished. Take valium at 6:33AM and up at 9:20 after a decent Actualism meditation. Think at times through the day that this is my 74.5th birthday! It's foggy and rainy, so I call Carolyn and cancel lunch today for after the trip, since I have so much to do before leaving, and she seems to understand. By coincidence, Leon calls, mentioning that Elsie had a stroke and is doing well---her mind is still OK---at LICH, and would I like to go to a dance program at Long Island Technical School's Klitgord Auditorium, making it seem like something I should want to see, and when I accept he says he's REALLY happy I'm going. Can't resist phoning Carolyn to tell her about it. Scan DAT32-DAT30 from 9:55-11:35AM, at which point Workoff calls, worried that I hadn't called him by 11AM (at which point I think of Marj) with questions, so he HAD to phone to check that everything was OK. Can't resist phoning Marj to tell her about THOSE two "coincidences." She talks until 12:05PM, at which point I'm dying for breakfast. Leave at 1PM for our 1:15 meeting "at the Post Office," and I go to the corner nearest the school, on Adams, but at 1:18 figure to check back at Cadman Plaza, and there's Nina waving to me that "He didn't specify WHICH corner; very bad of him." We get into the commendable Klitgord, and when I move OUT of my front row seat, reading that there'll probably be audience participation, I insist she sit next to Leon, and they talk and even, I think, TOUCH WRISTS a lot---is anything going on between 90-year-old Leon and 40s-ish Nina? Amusing program by Pat Cannon's Foot and Fiddle Dance Company, with 25 selections on the program, which more-or-less ends (except for maybe following audience participation) at 3:18PM, so I dash out and get to the gym at 3:40PM, entering without problem after my 3:30PM "deadline," and Carlos even lets me in to the "tile-falling-off-on-right" steam room after I've already washed my hair the first time. Out at 5PM to stop into Fascati's for two slices of pepperoni pizza as a late lunch, then home to look at the mail and do mindless, unrecorded Taipei and Solitaire before determining to finish the ASME indexes from 7:25-9:25PM, sending out both, more or less HOPING they'll be OK. Dinner of an HH lunch which AGAIN puts the muffin sides against the ham and the cheese to get limp and soggy, and then finish reading Pratchett's "Thief of Time." In my notes for the book I jotted from page 70 (after "A jug never rains, but it pours!" as an answer to a Koan considered as a question): "And the sound of one hand clapping is a 'cl,'" which is clever, and note the title on page 319: "So easily does a thief of time repay his debt." So now I can return THAT to the library. Bed 12:35AM.

FRIDAY, 10/1/10: Pee at 4:55AM, and have an unremembered vaguely sexy dream at 7:31AM that leads me to get out the clipped photos from Spartacus's magazines to try to get aroused for j/o, moving to the living room for videos at 7:55AM, but it just isn't working, so I stop at 9:05AM, disappointed. Finish a New Yorker on the john, check my e-mails to find that Workoff hasn't responded to my indexes, catch up on WEBSITE, and then finally record Sharon's session from Wednesday and catch up with THIS by 10:32AM, having tried calling Mildred to moan about my current state and getting a busy signal, and leaving word with Workoff at 10:13AM saying it was MY turn to wonder why he hadn't called yet. Try Mildred again at 10:34AM, and talk very productively to 11:10AM, when, again, I'm hungry for breakfast. Good fruit and maple-syruped cottage cheese, and then scan through another twenty or so porn magazines to make room in my file drawer. Unsubscribe to THREE spam-type mailings---is my unsubscribing getting me MORE of them?? Rain seems to be stopping about 2PM, but I figure to scan more pages before going out to return last library book and water John's plants for the last time. Scan more, see WEBSITE:10/1/10. Out to water John, and Spartacus calls with a Theatermania ticket for me to "The Sneeze," of early Chekhov comedies. Then decide I have to do laundry NOW, so I have the fat lady (not the singer) use HER card for $1.25 for the machine since mine won't work, up to have lunch, back to get some GUY to properly insert my card for the dryer, and dump the stuff on my bed before going to the City Center to find they don't HAVE Spartacus's reservation, but she lets me in anyway, and the play's as good as Spartacus said it was. Back to have HH's chicken lasagna for dinner, put the clothes away, and get to bed at 12:58AM.

SATURDAY, 10/2/10: Up at 7:49AM, type a dream-sequence in DREAMS:10/2/10, and decide to complete my jerk-off started yesterday, putting in the "difficult" Porn 3 and finally manage to cum at 9:30AM. Then compulsively check what pages I need for my journals by looking at JAR to 10:15. Then read the Times, do the puzzles until 12:45PM, order prescriptions, have essentially two breakfasts, and then FINISH my journals for the 1960s, see WEBSITE:10/2/10. Catch up with this at 5:27PM, ready for some mindless Spider. Play 5:28-7:50, too long, but still highest at 51.3878 at 607 up after 6 wins. As if that's not enough, I play Solitaire 7:50-10:20PM, just wanting to fill up my mind! Then have dinner while watching "Super Size Me," rather disgusting, having taken a valium at 10:20PM, and get to bed at 12:30AM.

SUNDAY, 10/3/10: Wake about 7:45AM and do an OK Actualism session before getting up at 8:40AM for my first pee in over eight hours. Read the Times and have breakfast of HH pancakes and extras just before 10AM, and Ken calls at 10:15, annoying me, asking why we don't have TICKETS for our flights. Don't ask ME! Water plants, taking out dried leaves for John's watering, and settle in for my daily Spider between 10:45-11:45AM to a new high of 51.392 at 609 up after 3 wins. Then get to e-mails and find MORE unwanted companies, and MORE spam, and write a damning note to Verizon, but when I read their spam "information"---after clicking on "spam policy" and not GETTING spam policy---I find that I'm not really supposed to do all the "unsubscribe" stuff, because that tells them they've got a LIVE ADDRESS, and I'll just get MORE junk! GREAT! Finish that in disgust and then catch up with this by 12:23PM, ready to get into the final phases of packing for the trip---leaving the DAY AFTER TOMORROW! At this time the day after tomorrow I'll be, hopefully, over the Atlantic on my way to Dubai! Pluck ear-hairs and shave, put on camera batteries to recharge, and sort through bags to get a good collection of paper bags. Get out the stack of stuff on my "Dubai trip" shelf and divide it into three stacks: 1) take with me (like passport, notepad, etc.), 2) put back on shelf to be filed with final trip stuff (like extra clippings and notes), 3) throw away (old Arab-trip clippings from Shelley). Have lunch while watching "Wild Pacific," starting at 3PM on Discovery, which I seem to have seen SOME parts of before, but some are clearly new. Get out all the plastic bags with "extras" to take along and make three bags THERE: 1) paper bag to take in my shoulder bag, 2) paper bag to put in my suitcase, 3) stuff (most of it) left in my ONE "extra" plastic bag. Take care of sorting things out during ads in the "Wild Pacific" programs to 8PM, then watch "Life" again, and Ken calls to say that the trip seems to be one day SHORTER! AND we don't have e-tickets yet! He says he'll e-mail Poonjah, and I try to call Emirates Airlines but find (after thinking they ONLY have offices in Dubai, Mumbai, and Manchester, England) their New York office (in Mineola) is only open 9-5 Mon-Fri. So stressed-out by all this last-minute hassle (and how glad I am that I still have a WHOLE DAY---for MORE hassle) that I play Solitaire 10:50-1:10AM. Take a valium at 1:15AM and get to bed at 1:20AM.

MONDAY, 10/4/10: Pee at 7:46AM and manage to lie until 8:45AM without getting too frazzled thinking about all I have to do, like watching the 2 hours of TV (of I know not what) I taped before, setting up Channel 13 TV to be recorded while I'm away, and the rest of the list I made up before. Phone Emirates at 9:15AM and a VERY helpful woman sends me two e-tickets, one from Addis to Entebbe, the other with the other four legs. This is AFTER she blithely informs me that Reservation Code INMWCX, on my 12/02/10 Sabre Travel Itinerary, has been CANCELLED! WHAT??!! Back on 2/20/10, yet. But the NEW code is BP66TJ. Phone Ken at home, but he turns out to be at work. He asks me to check about the "missing" flight, stopping in Addis, between Entebbe and Dubai. I phone once and get a recorded message, and then get CUT OFF! Call again, and Mr. Rogin assigns us new window seats (unless a child traveling alone wants one of them, a remote chance, he says), asks for Ken's Skywards number, which I say I'll ask him about, but if he wants one he'll have to get one, and assures me that the one flight includes the Addis stopover for fuel and added passengers. I call Ken and leave a message on his machine at 10:50AM. Finally have breakfast while watching a bit of the ugly "The Chaser," saved on TV, and then call Marj at 11:30, substituting for an idea I had to phone Sharon for an added session to get all the past two days OUT of my head. We talk till 12:30PM, and try John again; his line is still busy. Leave word with Bill Petersen, and then Ken calls to say he spent an hour trying to get "new" bills for the trip: the banks don't have any, saying you have to pre-order them, which I remember from before but forgot to tell him. Then get an e-mail from Poonjah saying we're leaving at 11PM on Monday, laughing at his incompetence. Word97 was opened so I could see the "new" itinerary, identical to the old in everything but that evening departure time, and when I try to print my e-tickets, some crazy printer from the Word Suite is installed and tried to be used. I cancel that and FINALLY manage to get the double-page and single-page e-tickets printed out. Ken calls AGAIN to say that Emirates Airlines isn't taking any calls, so he can't get his Skywards number NOR change "his" e-mail address from MY e-mail address for him. I tried to check-in on-line, but then they said that facility wasn't available. It hadn't been raining, then HAD been pouring when I thought to go out to the bank and CVS, but now at 1:45PM it's stopped again, though it's cold enough that I got out my lap-robe while talking with Marj. Taking lots of "spare" stuff": Diamox, in case Addis, at 8000 feet, turns out to need it; pain pills, arthritis pills, dental-floss implements, and lots of puzzle books. Found that Emirates (hopefully ALSO in ECONOMY class) has LOTS of movies available, and that 34A isn't the VERY last seat: sort of in the middle of the last section of 3-4-3 seating. WHAT DAYS!! I get out at 1:56, to the bank at 2:02, take a LONG time getting TOO MUCH money (I took out $570, forgetting that that would INCLUDE the $80 cash I had, so I'll end up OWING HSBC $112, which they'll put into that 25%/day interest account that I'll have to repay when I get back, on the list that I started of what I DO have to do when I get back), out at 2:21 and get to CVS for my stool softener and two prescriptions, finishing at 2:32 and getting home to find my mail is in. Then get to the gym from 2:45-3:15, and home to get a message from John, saying his trip to DC was better than he expected, and that he'll water my plants. I have the last of my HH meals (leaving dinner TOTALLY up in the air) while watching the great Korean movie "The Chaser," which Spartacus says he'll put on his list to watch. Print out MORE itinerary, and finally Ken calls just after 7PM to say there's a boarding pass waiting for me, since HE did the check-in for the both of us. We both have TONS of paper, but at least our window seats are now verified in PRINT! Catch up with this at 7:25PM, having called Bill Petersen again, and he took down the dates when he collects my papers. Tell only Spartacus that I'm actually back on the 24th, not the 25th. So the only things STILL on my list are pills and packing, not to mention cleaning up the apartment! 9:42PM: ENDLESS things done: take wallet cards out, make a new credit-card-number list, find my beret and one glove and ANOTHER BLUE HIDDEN-HOOD JACKET, just like the one I lost earlier this year, that I'd forgotten I HAD! Sort out pills, taking an extra six days' worth, put out simvastatin and valium for the night, have the pills set for tonight's sketchy dinner (probably just toast and apple sauce and juice and pills) and tomorrow's two meals in my cardboard soap boxes, and put out lots of extra STUFF so that I'm all set except for actual CLOTHES: two undershirts, four shirts, three pants, underwear and socks, and my black sweater for cold Addis nights under my blue jacket. AND decided to take Wellies for the jungle trails, WITH a large black plastic bag which I'll pack away so no one sees on entering Rwanda, for putting the muddy boots back into on the way out. Now to put things in bags and weigh them to see how much I'm actually taking, aside from $654 in cash and three credit cards: AmEx, MasterCard, and Visa. Melitonin was a mistake---didn't think of it until 9:30, so I took a half milligram, figured to take tomorrow's on the plane THREE HOURS EARLY, as they say to do LATER, making it 6:30NYC time, and then three hours earlier on Wednesday, making it 10:30PM, good for bedtime, and then 7:30PM on Thursday, making it "even" with when I first took it (ahem!). Now back to clothes at 9:50PM. Bag is too full, so I decide NOT to take boots: so I ruin a pair of cheap shoes! Maybe they rent boots. Finish packing at 10:40, finish dinner at 11:10, of toast, HH bar, yogurt, and dates, juice and pills. Take simvastatin, valium, and ambien at 11:22 and get to bed at 11:40, tired and calm, and seem to get to sleep immediately, having had a decent shit and piss just before bed, and ready for the last night's good sleep before the trip!
TUESDAY, 10/5/10: Up at 7:30, having slept through, and start taking items off my last list, that I made up last night: 1) eat breakfast (finish 8:26), 2) wash dishes (8:29), 3) garbage out (7:55), 4) watering can in sink (8:30), 5) last NK entry (8:17), 6) turn OFF computer (8:20), 7) loofah away (7:48), 8) out of "house" and into "flight" clothes (8:35), 9) take sheets off bed (8:05), 10) take pills and mefloquine #2 (8:20), and 11) touch up kitchen floor (8:23). Not raining, thank goodness, and only one e-mail this morning. Finish this at 8:17AM, the rest to be taken on trip-notes.


SUNDAY, 10/24/10: First part of the day is at the end of TRAVELS:DUBAI. The next major happening is at MEDICAL:10/24/10. Take promethazine at 3:40PM and an amox at 3:45PM and apply Voltarem at 3:45PM and at 5:30PM. Bed at 5:35PM for five minutes, but decide to get up and watch more of the two hours of "Macbeth" on my unfinished DVD. Back to bed at 7:13PM, and "nap" to 10:23PM, type DREAMS:10/24/10, when I get up AGAIN to try to stay awake longer. My bruise has turned LIGHTER, primarily bright RED, from the Voltaren, I guess. Sort mail and do TV Guide puzzles to 1:33AM. Take amox at 1:34AM and promethazine at 1:35AM. Apply Voltarem at 1:45AM. Bed at 2:02AM.

MONDAY, 10/25/10: Note dream 1) in DREAMS:10/25/10 at 3:26AM. Cough to 4:54AM. Get two pillows out to support my head at a higher level, and look through my medicine cabinet to find a cough suppressant that contains guaifenesin and take one of those at 5:04AM. Note that the bruise DARKENS on walking! Start Actualism with an AWFUL cough, but drop off to sleep and wake at 7:22AM with the memory of an INCREDIBLE dream, dream 2) in DREAMS:10/25/10. 7:52AM: Finished typing DREAMS:10/25/10 and thoughts still whirled in my head. The dream was so CONVINCINGLY real that I even wanted to get back to my Neo to record it AS notes on reality: the location of the beautiful garden on the secret exit from the Metro, the location of the cruisy (or at least gay-inhabited) area, the details about the lunch I had at the restaurant just before the dream started. I think at one point I even gave my card, with hope in my heart, to the character who turned out to be the pianist-magician. Now I lie in bed, waiting for 8AM to call for my emergency appointment with Chin (it's now 7:56AM) and get into my day---admittedly without adequate sleep, but I've still got to get the Times from Bill and do the four-point "immediate" list for today: 1) call for Chin appointment, 2) check for "overage" and balance at HSBC, 3) deposit my ASME check, and 4) get my melitonin prescription. Stop this at 7:59AM to dress. Took promethazine at 7:30AM. Typed 7:35-7:49, and 7:50-7:59, feet VERY swollen and tingly. Feel feverish, but thermometer reads only 97.9(. Phone HIP at 8:05AM; they answer at 8:06; I'm on hold 8:08-8:14, and I can't get any appointment with Chin before 11AM Tuesday. I say I'm coming in and waiting! Add 1) Get flu shot? and 2) Take in glasses to fix to my list of items for the day. Dress only in jeans and a shirt in the unseasonal warmth and leave at 8:23AM. 8:33AM: Fourth floor: "No more walk-ins; go to floor 2." 8:35AM: Second floor: No one in Customer Service office, doctor from across the hall takes my HIP card and says I can go up. 8:42AM: Back to fourth floor to wait. Chin calls me quickly, looks at bruise (but not scrotum, which I describe as half-colored), and asks if I'm in pain. I say no. He says if I WERE in pain, the bruise could be lanced. ARGGH! I say no. He says it's normal, will last a long time before it vanishes, and I leave relieved at 8:51AM. HSBC opens at 9AM. Go to Grand Optician at 8:55 to have it open on the dot of 9AM, and get my new glasses fixed and on my face by 9:05AM. At 9:09AM I'm on line at HSBC, and pay $112.61 in cash to square my accounts at 9:19AM, since my Social Security check isn't in YET. Make a Key Food list of 2 milk, bread, 8 apple juices, steak, 2 green beans, and yogurt, and get a Visa bill of $36.88 at 9:39AM. To CVS to wait a few minutes for my Mefloquine at 9:43AM, and get home with a stack of mail to carry up, exhausted, at 9:56AM. 10:13AM: Put groceries away and start breakfast of oatmeal. At 10:30AM I take an amox and a guaifenesin. At 10:35 I talk to Mildred to 10:52, when she has to leave. At 10:53 leave word with Carolyn and Charles. At 10:54AM Carolyn calls back, and we chat to 11:09AM, when I call Marj and talk to 12:18PM. Call Bill Petersen, meet his care-giver, and come back with the three week's of Times at 12:55PM. Talk to Steve Hayes to 1:20 and to Ken at 1:37PM. At 1:38PM I start looking at 116 e-mails. At 2:02 start e-rewards e-mails to 2:30. At 2:33 leave word with Spartacus. Deal with HH meals to 2:51PM. Take another dose of promethazine and guaifenesin. Start transferring Neo files with file 1 to Dell at 3:15, not knowing when it finished. Have egg foo yung lunch by 3:45PM, apply Voltarem at 3:50PM, and start Times and puzzles to 4:30PM, eyes closing so constantly that I decide to get to bed just before 5PM. Wake at 8:06 on the clock, pee at 8:13, and for a number of minutes think that it must be 8:06AM TUESDAY, until I realize it's DARK out, check my watch, and it's STILL MONDAY! Sure solves the problem I thought I had about when (or even IF) I should take my "missed" Monday evening pills! Take a promethazine and amox at 8:15, delusionally recording both as taken at 8:15AM Tuesday. Get back to Neo at 8:20PM to start transferring file 2. I call Ken because I've finally located my back-of-note-1 billing, and things get confused because I'm VERY spaced out, and we talk to 8:45PM. Then Spartacus calls and we talk to 9:35PM, after file 2 has been transmitted. Start file 3 at 9:35, take a guaifenesin at 9:40PM, and apply Voltarem at 9:50PM. I have dinner of a Key Food steak, green beans, and apple sauce 10:10-10:35PM. File 3 finishes at 10:40; I do file 4 10:40-10:50, on pages 37-38; then file 5, the "return file" for 10/24-10/25; then file 6, pages 38-39, from 10:50-10:55. Do file 5 AGAIN, just to make sure I'd done it, 10:55-10:57; then finish with file 8, DREAMS, 10:57-11:50, pages 65-70. File 7 is junk. Do puzzles to 11:48PM and finish with Neo at 11:55PM. Take a melatonin as a sort of sleeping pill and get to bed at 12:07AM.

TUESDAY, 10/26/10: 3:31AM: Finish typing DREAMS:10/26/10, and feel my feet ballooning in size as I sit on my bed, my left thigh feeling sausage-stuffed and warm to the touch, the bright red of the bruise brightening to a darker red, it seems. Cough a few times, hard, thankful that I'd fallen to sleep without any coughing at all, head comfortable on the raised pillows, but legs feeling cramped if placed one on top of the other, so I shifted into a bent-knee running position, with space for my enlarged scrotum to fall into. It remained a cherry-red color, which now extended almost to the tip of my penis under the skin. I'd salved it before my late dinner, and now I'll go see which of my pills can be taken after the proper intervals. And blow my nose. 3:40AM: take promethazine and guaifenesin, but still cough badly after waking. Wake early and think a lot, probably doze a lot, and get out of bed at 10:06AM. Distribute pills to 10:35AM, breakfast of oatmeal to 11, have a decent shit when Carolyn leaves her crappy message about me bringing CHAMPAGNE and LIQUOR to her party on Saturday, and shower to 11:30: simply CAN'T go to the gym with my BRUISE, not to mention my TOTAL lack of ENERGY. Call Carolyn and tell her I'm NOT bringing Champagne, and talk to 12:05PM. Talk to Marj, mainly me complaining, 12:05-12:58, when she berates me for not listening to HER, even after I CONVINCED her to say SOMETHING about what it is she "can't possibly" talk about. Charles calls and we talk to 1:35PM. Marj and I talk again to 1:42PM. 1:44PM: Carolyn: Bring cheese and crackers, and will I call Charles and Mildred to bring Champagne? No, I won't; SHE has to. 1:50PM: Ken calls and then confirms Thanksgiving at Gotham at 6:30PM for $110 BEFORE any wine charges, he makes clear to me. 1:53PM: promethazine spoonful. 2:05: I go down to get a STACK of mail, go through it to 3:10PM, lunch to 3:45 on the last of the egg foo yung, take one last guaifenesin as my cough seems to be better, and at 3:55 Ken calls to ask me if I recorded the DAY he stopped taking his malaria medicine because it was making him sick. "You mean you do all that recording for YOURSELF?" You bet! Take garbage out on the way to my 4PM visit to Gene Krinsky's fantastically done apartment, in which he's lived 37 years, having been on the Board of 101 Clark for about 20 of them, to see, primarily, his "authentic" Ming horse. Astounding collections he has, as well as a personally tailored apartment that rather reminds me of John Connolly's collections. Back at 4:40PM, and at 4:45PM take amox, and at 4:58PM apply Voltaren to SPREADING bruise. Down for meals about 6:10PM. Finally finish TV Guide puzzles by 7:20PM, take a spoonful of promethazine at 7:30PM, put things away to 8PM, when I watch a Nova on the Chilean miners to 9, while having dinner of a rather wonderful HH chili and bean-and-corn salad, then watch a Frontline about BP and their numerous mistakes due to bottom-line concentration on cost-cutting to 10PM, and then maybe the end of my two-hour cut-off copy of "Macbeth" until 10:55PM, when I take another amox, do another Voltarem slather, and get to bed at 11:13PM, barely able to keep my eyes open.

WEDNESDAY, 10/27/10: 4:51AM: Wake at 4:41AM and lie contemplating my condition. Thank God I've only coughed in one spasm so far this morning, though my chest feels congested. My feet seem more swollen than usual, but the bruise looks better on my thigh because it's mostly strawberry-colored, rather than purpish as before. There's still a feeling of heat and pressure-from-within that's disquieting, however. Can't decide what to do; don't really feel like pissing or shitting, but figure to go to the john and get anything out that's willing to come out. 5AM: With movement, the bruise gets SIGNIFICANTLY darker; could this mean some vessel is STILL leaking? No wonder I feel warm in bed: it's 68 degrees out! Actualism to 6:50AM after lying in bed, maybe dozing, from 5AM, when I took a spoonful of promethazine. Go to computer and start Verizon-Servicepoint-Setup at 7AM, eating a smallish fruit and largish cottage-cheese-with-maple-syrup breakfast from 7:06-7:32AM, waiting until the Verizon installation is finished at 7:50, then at 8:04 find that FIA statements only go to 10/8, until I phone them and they tell me to click on My Account, which gives me an up-to-date list, and I make a list of the $568.88 expenses from the Dubai trip to 8:25AM. Finish the 10/9 Times at 9:15AM, then the 10/10 Times by 9:35AM, take an amox at 9:40AM, and leave at 9:50AM for HIP, see MEDICAL:10/27/10. Get home at 11:30AM. Talk to Spartacus to 11:44, and then to Marj to 11:53, when she gets a delivery and has to call me back from 12-12:15PM. I take promethazine at 12:40PM; apply Voltarem at 1PM, depressed at how widespread the bruise has become. I read more Times, do more puzzles, not really keeping track, but phone HIP at 2:58PM to check with my results---to find that Dr. Chin left at 1:30! I finish the second 10/17 puzzle, hard, at 3:30PM. Just to pass the time before seeing Sharon, I play Taipei 3:33-4:05AM, winning most of them. Take out laundry---to be told that the shirt will be impossible to clean---and see Sharon, then get Tamosulin prescription from bright-eyed clerk. Continue with Times and puzzles, finish 10/17 Times at 7:06PM, but then get out the New York Magazines that I haven't done the puzzles from and start on those to 8PM, when I take another dose of promethazine and have an enormous HH pork and vegetables dinner while watching "Herculaneum" and "Mahler's Symphony No. 7" on Channel 13 until 10:30PM. Apply another layer of Voltarem and take an amox. Exhausted, I get to bed about 10:35PM, grateful for not coughing and taking away one pillow from my stack of three.

SHARON B. 154 10/27/10

Get in at 4:40PM after hassling laundry, and Sharon's talking with the other woman in her office. She calls me in at 4:45, and I start by saying, "There's GOOD news, and then there's BAD news," and I go into the BAD news first: the spreading bruise, the fact that Chin didn't call back about my sonogram report, the concern of Nurse Baker and the Center Director. Then get into the good news: the goodness of the match with Charley, the luxury of the falcons, lunch, the Emirates tour (with the $100 bill prominent), then the poverty but great interest of Ethiopia, followed by the heatless and electricity-rationed hotels in Uganda and Rwanda. But crowed about the triumph of seeing the gorillas, including Ken (yes), and she praised me for my endurance and energy. Then went into my "argument" with Carolyn about Champagne, Mildred's being very good recently, and the slight difference of opinion about who listens to who with Marj. Sharon keeps saying that I've certainly done the best that I could. Tell her, among the first, that the slide show might be so long that I'll cut it into two parts. [Call Christina now to find she's on vacation until 11/4.] Praise Ken for acknowledging that he SHOULD have changed his trousers for the Burj al-Arab lunch, and assure Sharon that the Champagne episode probably will not affect my and Carolyn's good relationship. Kept sighing, as if in relief to get all this off my chest. I'm happy that my cough is finished but still concerned about the blood accumulating, though she says she knew a man of 70, who fell down a flight of stairs, whose bruise ALSO expanded over a long period of time, and she's sure I'll be OK. Wish I could be so sure, now that Chin hasn't returned my calls YET!

THURSDAY, 10/28/10: Pee at 2:10AM, take a Fisherman's Friend for a slightly sore throat, shit a bit, and am still awake at 3:07AM. Doze and up at 6:20AM to finish the last Times and puzzles by 9:10AM. Phone HIP to find that Chin comes in at 10:30AM today. Ask him to PLEASE phone me with sonogram results. Finish the cottage cheese and smear on Voltarem at 9:30AM, then take doses of promethazine and amox at 9:45AM. Do the last New York Magazine puzzle, and then at 11:15AM BAKER calls and I THINK he says he'll see if he can get Chin to phone me, but Chin hasn't phoned by the time I type this at 2PM. I type to 11:40 and have "breakfast" of an HH lunch of egg and cheese on a muffin to 12:05PM. Back to typing, interrupting to call HIP to try to get to Chin, and get told that HE has to call ME! The clerk ends by wishing me "a good day," and I retort, "It is NOT a good day!" before I hang up. At 1:47 I leave word with Poonja to call me, because it seems Ken was billed $112.18 on 10/7 for the Falcon Hospital for TWO, and I was billed $55.28 for I THINK the Falcon Hospital! Call Christina to be told she's on vacation and I'll have to call her on 11/4 if I also want a slide-spot on 12/15; and leave word with Piri to get back to me, risking phoning when Chin might be phoning ME. Put away the lovely HSBC slip from yesterday that my balance is $3.413.09! Now at 2:26PM to put in the Neo file 7. Finish that by 2:43PM. Now to finish typing notes from TRIP from Sunday. Do that, shifting data around in files, until Poonja calls at 3:32 to hear my thought that Ken was billed TWICE and me ONCE for only TWO Falcon Hospital tours. I proofread all the new MEDICAL to 3:50 and start proofing and printing the new NK pages, finished with that now at 4:20PM, I guess ready for lunch---and DAMN it but Chin hasn't CALLED YET. Clerk said he worked to 4:30 and may call me after that. I sure HOPE so, though pain is down, as is discomfort, but scrotum is DEFINITELY overloaded. NK proofed and printed to 4:20. Take promethazine at 4:25PM. Lunch to 5. Play Spider 5-6:15PM, the first since returning from the trip, and end with 51.29.139 at 609 up, after 4 wins, just tying my previous margin of wins. Edgardo calls at 6:15PM and begs me to come to San Francisco for Christmas, but I can't. "You can go to one of our former colonies [Ethiopia] but you can't come to the parent country." I proofread most of Dubai and jolt "awake" at 8:05: I was supposed to meet Spartacus at "La Bete" at 7:45! Dress and dash out, getting to The Music Box at 8:25 to get my ticket, left by Spartacus with the head usher, and sit toward the back on the side for most of Mark Rylance's 20-minute first-scene monologue, almost glad that I didn't have to sit through ALL of it, but later told Spartacus that if I had a chance to see the WHOLE thing later, I'd take it. Enjoyable performance, and best of all he knows there's a new Shake Shack on 8th and 44th, where we both have our overdue dinners. My leg really hurts walking back to the 7th Avenue subway, but he's limping too, so we "match." Home after 11, take promethazine at 11:30PM, lather with Voltaren at 11:30PM, and bed at 12:31AM.

FRIDAY, 10/29/10: Pee at 2:22AM, 5:16AM, and 7:53AM, also taking promethazine at 7:50AM, and get up at 9:04AM. Had made a list for today: 1) Call Chin, 2) See Chin, 3) Get cheese and crackers for tomorrow's party, 4) Return Sharon's umbrella, 5) Edit slides, and 6) Clear dinner table. Apply Voltaren at 9:15AM. Take amox at 9:20AM. Phone Mildred 9:25-9:55, who says I should SEE Chin. So I phone, get told that he's in, and make the visit described in MEDICAL:10/29/10. Had phoned CVS to get a renewal of the Voltarem, told that I couldn't renew it until after a MONTH, but she herself suggested I might have "a lot of coverage," and still haven't gotten anywhere NEAR the limit of 32g/day from my 100 g tube, and says I can pick up the new tube at 10AM Sunday. Talk to Ken to 10:20, finding that $55 was the charge (for EACH!) for the Museum tour, which I expect will be told me by the Al-Whatever e-mail return. Noting that if Charley paid KEN his $55, Ken went FREE, so why should I have to pay MY $55 in total, without him sharing in the cost? Talk to Mildred about my Chin visit, Marj from 12:27-1:15, then play Solitaire from 1-2PM, edit camera photos down to 1182 from the original 1524, really needing TWO programs, and have lunch of the last steak from Key Food, and then Marj calls to vent about her computer and printer problems from 4:25-4:45, and then I catch up with this, keeping reminding myself that I have to meet Spartacus at 6:30 at Clark Street for the Trinity Church showing of "Cabinet of Dr. Caligari," and Charles and I will meet him for tomorrow's "Ride" at 1:40PM at the Marriott on Broadway and 46th, going from 2-3:15, giving me enough chance to get back to buy cheese and get to Carolyn's by at least 4:30 tomorrow. My leg hurt NOT AT ALL going to HIP this morning, but it sure hurts NOW as I put things off the dining-room table from the packing: money sorted out, clothes away, supplies for the next trip filed in the dop kit or the plastic bag, but still lots of papers to process. Turned out, even without the list, to have done everything on my Friday list except clear the dining-room table. Now it's 4:55PM and I've got over an hour and a half to suffer. WQXR is in its final fund-raising day, so I listen as little as possible. Called Tris and told him to call me, too. And checked my Visa bill and wrote my check for 11/7/10. Don't know what else I did. Take promethazine at 6:15PM, before meeting Spartacus at 6:30 to subway to Trinity Church for a showing of "The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari" with splendid organ music and colorful subtitles, sadly uncomfortable with the blood pooling under my left thigh. Took amox at 9:30PM. Applied Voltaren at 9:30PM. Took promethazine at 11:15PM. Bed at 11:35PM.

SATURDAY, 10/30/10: Pee at 2:07AM, 4:35AM, and 6:05AM, and finally shit a bit and FINALLY finish October Scientific American (except for the MEDICAL:10/29/10 note, which I open the magazine to and leave on my bed table until finally updating the MEDICAL journal on Tuesday morning, also clipping out "The Theory of Everything" article) at 6:38AM, and do Actualism 7:35-7:55 and get up. Take promethazine at 8AM, again at 12:15PM, and again at 8:15PM. Apply Voltaren at 8:10AM and at 8:30PM. Take amox at 8:30AM. Bring in the Times and read many articles, then do the puzzles, using Pope's Franlkin Computer a lot, but still leaving some unsolved. Out to meet Spartacus at 12:55PM after going to Key Food and spending $38.76 for five cheeses (good creamy gouda, unripe [President, by coincidence, at this party on President and Henry] brie, goat cheese that Mildred and others adored, an Italian green that got no comment, and a sharp smoked cheddar) and three boxes of crackers for Carolyn's party. Onto the subway at 1PM and sit and sit and sit in the 14th Street and 18th Street stations (of course the 2 is going local when we want an express), getting to 42nd Street at 1:56PM, fully expecting to miss the 2PM "The Ride," but he checks with the ticket-taker, gets tickets for me and Nadine, and we board JUST before the bus takes off. The "guides" are pains in the ass, getting everyone to wave, which I refuse to do (and, as I told everyone, had to be confronted by my REFLECTION in the glass in front of me by my surly, unsmiling face), only taking pictures from the unusual angle of the Chrysler Building, the Bank of America's new tower at 42nd and 6th, and up and down various avenues. As Spartacus noted, the people ON THE STREET were more interesting than the poor schmucks who "performed" for the bus at various corners and stops, including at Columbus Circle, where a stopped taxi jetted a geyser of brown water from under its raised hood. Off at 3:26 and limp to 6th Avenue for the F train, which gets me to the proper (rear) end of the platform for the President Avenue exit at 4:15PM. First to Carolyn's, when she's not yet completely dressed as "The Queen," who can be permitted to be a lousy hostess, in her mind. Set out the cheeses, all of which I sample, and then carve my first pumpkin according to the pattern I downloaded, at Carolyn's suggestion, from the Internet. Mildred and John and Carolyn and others agree that it's an impressive first job of mine on the candle-lit pumpkin. Enjoy cheeses, soda water, iced tea, a pumpkin mousse appetizer, a cold chicken leg, some of Tris's tasty beef Bourguignone, and two slices of Izzy's superlative pumpkin pie. And a bowl of soup, too. But I'm just uncomfortable with my leg, squeezed into a corner by a crowd which I hardly know, though Tris's son-in-law is still sexy as the red devil, and after showing my gorilla shots and movies to Tori, who's agonized by a crick in her neck, I say I'm tired and leave, saying goodbye only to Tori and Carolyn, and leave talking to Mildred and Charles to the following day. Take last amox at 8:15PM when I get home, and get to bed at 8:50PM. Pee and put Vicks up my nose at 10:15PM.

SUNDAY, 10/31/10: Pee at 1:22AM and 4:32AM. Note DREAMS:10/31/10. Think to jerk off, so I put on the radiator in the living room at 6:18AM. Shit and read to 6:36AM, and start to jerk off at 6:55AM. Manage to cum, waterily, by about 8AM, and leave bidis on living room floor, making it easy to jerk off the next morning, too. Get the Sunday Times and go through it by 9:30AM, having breakfast, too, I guess. Take the last dose of promethazine at 9:45AM. Then try phoning CVS to see if they have my Voltaren prescription ready, but I'm on hold so long without the pharmacy answering that I just hang up and dress and go out to pick up the prescription, with a twelve-ounce bottle of Tussin for any future cough, and a special on mini-Mars bars for $2.50, of which I manage to polish off 11 of the original 18 today alone, while having other rather crazy meals through the day. Spend $28.93 at CVS, then go to Key Food to pick up six cans of the $1 special Progresso soups, three Act II microwave popcorn packages special for $5, two special-price Spams for $2.79 each, more maple syrup, another quart of milk, three more apple juices, two packages of blueberries for $5, and two Manager's Special shell steaks for $11.33, paying $53.99 at 10:17AM for three weighty bags which, with my proclaimed savings of $25.89, means that I "spent" $79.88, surely a record at Key Food. Apply Voltaren at 10:25AM. Put groceries away, think to take a shower, but don't, but continue in bathrobe through the day. Talk to Rita 11:05AM-12:30PM! Bored, I start Spider at 2:40PM, not doing very well, and play through to about 6PM, when I get off without even winning or recording my score. When I get back to Spider on Monday, I calculate (and recalculate and REcalculate) my score at 51.3998, at 603 up, not making sense because it's a higher score for a lower win-rate. Just mark it with a question mark, since the reason for it can't be found. Decide to have a shell steak for "late lunch," with green beans and apple sauce, taking my evening pills, and continuing to gobble mini-Mars bars through the day. Try sudoku to pass the time, but my eyes start closing. Decide to open my Netflix account so I can start watching "30 Rock," season 4, watching six episodes. Apply Voltaren about 11:30PM. Bed at 11:40PM. What a waste of a day!

MONDAY, 11/1/10: Pee at 5:30AM and note DREAMS:11/1/10. At 8:40AM I'm up to pee and start to jerk off again, beginning to irritate the sensitive top of my cock, and cum again, then sit, bored, watching TV for the end of a Tom and Jerry full-length cartoon about a road-race around the world on the Cartoon Network, and then watching a couple of Sylvester the Cat cartoons, stopping about 10AM to shit (getting the call from Shelley about her two broken ankles) and shower and have a late breakfast. Apply Voltaren after shower. Call the Kahns about Shelley, then Mildred, who suggests I phone New York Hospital, and I get Shelley's phone number and talk to her a few minutes before she has to leave for an echocardiogram, her first operation postponed to tomorrow afternoon. Again listless and bored, I start Spider at 2:10PM, after calculating my anomalous score before playing my first game, and end up at 5:15, leg aching and cold at the window, at a score of 51.39598, lower than the anomalous 51.3998 from yesterday at 603 up, at 612 up, a new highest after 9 wins. Have the second shell steak, again for a "late lunch," with dinner pills, and watch the end of Fritz Lang's "While the City Sleeps," to 8PM, before watching TCM's "Moguls and movie Stars: A History of Hollywood," to 9PM, then "Films of Thomas Edison," to 11PM, thinking to record them, but the sound goes off after 50 minutes, and, when I check later, the RECORDING stopped after 50 minutes, for some reason. Apply Voltaren before bed at 12:15AM.

TUESDAY, 11/2/10: 7:20AM: Pee at 3:55AM and 6:55AM, start Actualism, but it really never gets going, so I decide today's going to be different from the bathrobe-clothed past two days, Voltaren my leg and left calf about 6:57AM, wash my hands, dress, gather notes to update my journal, which include the note about today to 1) order prescriptions and 2) vote, and start by typing the dream from this morning, which ends my echoing my indecision about how to "end my last evening in Germany" with my indecision about how to "start my day today." Start typing notes, go to Amazon to find that "The Grand Design" was published in September and is available for $14, for which I should use e-rewards dollars on whatever book source IT admits. That takes me to 8:15AM, now bright clear skies outside. Type more notes, then call Mildred 9-9:30, arguing about Republican versus Democratic politics, then have breakfast while trying to watch "D.W. Griffith Films" but it goes OFF, on a lousy broken DVD, after 5 minutes. Space through watching parts of "Simon Boccanegra," "Ten More Good Years," "Derek Jarman," and "Porn Stars" from before. Then reformat the DVD after I wash it and it doesn't work at all, then put it on to record for 2 hours at super-speed, to see if it NOW might work. Then call Spartacus and ask about more DVDs at 11:30, and he says to come over in an hour. Place three prescription requests, and three DOCTOR-CONTACT new prescription requests (two of them for 3-month supplies, of which I'm now at the end of TWO months), and note new time for Tamsulosin. Then back to transcribing notes at 11:40AM. Catch up on drug-taking and -application notes to 11:56AM. Leave for Spartacus's. Back at 12:47PM, having gotten three DVDs with "Macbeth," "Dexter," and "Movies," and a DVD-RW newly formatted that I "bought" for $1.50, getting $11 back from $20, paying for the last Theatermania $7.50 that I owed him. Vote during an uncharacteristic lull in the length of lines waiting for the "privacy booths" in which the ballots are marked, and at the scanning machines, which finishes off the process. Finish notes here to date at 1:10PM, hungry again. Now to check my 2-hour recording on my "damaged" DVD. It has successfully recorded, so maybe the cleaned DVD is still usable. Watch the two-hour new "Crystal Cave Revisited" video and get a call from Ron that my food's arrived. Down to pick up a packet of mail too large for my mailbox, and my food, which I put into the fridge, and look through the mail, including the two weekly magazines, and a ridiculous letter from FIA Card Services announcing that "my account ending in 3236 had been changed to a new number ending in 3236," that I had to phone about 5PM, taking to 5:30 to explain how ridiculous it was, asking if they were trying to lose customers, but she assured me they were keeping up the 2% cash return and wanted to keep me, apologizing for the mistaken letter. I went back to a discouragingly Republican Channel 13 Newshour at 7PM, then broiled up a Spam sandwich for dinner before watching an hour's Nova on elevators, then an hour's Frontline on Obama's deals to get the health-care bill passed, then "In the Company of Actors" for two hours which does NOT end in a film of the performance of "Hedda Gabbler" with Cate Blanchett, and then the first two episodes of "Dexter" from this season, getting to bed at 12:20AM.

WEDNESDAY, 11/3/10: Pee at 4:30AM, then up at 8AM to pee and shit and type DREAMS:11/3/10, and then finish this to 8:35AM, debating what to do next: dress and watch "The Mysterious Skin" or jerk off---and decide to dress, not feeling sexy enough to productively jerk off. Watch "The Mysterious Skin" TWICE, though the commentary isn't that illuminating, and even skim through the two main characters READING from the book for fifty minutes! Order more HH meals. Marj calls at 3:30, DRUNK and babbling that she can't take it any more, and gets some solace from me by then time we end at 5PM. Then watch episodes 3-5 of "Dexter," having dinner, and finish just in time to watch "Silver Pharaoh" and "Circus #1" on Channel 13 from 8-10:30PM. Get to bed at 12:05AM.

THURSDAY, 11/4/10: Pee at 4:54AM and up at 7:59AM. Start watching Spartacus's DVDs through the whole day: "Griffith films," "Melies films," and "Dexter" episode 6. Take time off to call Christina, but December is scheduled, so I change November 17th's program to Dubai and Ethiopia, and make January 19 Uganda and Rwanda, phoning Leon to make sure he knows in advance, and Elsie has been in the nursing home since mid-October! Piri also calls to say that the Games Group has been moved to November 14, GREAT! Mildred calls to cancel lunch because she went out in the cold rain and her lungs just totally gave out. I check on Brooklyn Fare, Michelin's first two-star restaurant in Brooklyn, and find that it's at 200 Schermerhorn. Shelley calls ME back to say she'll be moving at 4PM to Cobble Hill Nursing Home, hinting that I'll have to visit her there. So I have all day to catch up with Spartacus's DVDs AND to start watching the fourth season of "30 Rock," which ends in the summer of 2010, episodes 7-12. Open the Calendar for November for MoMA and find that "Al-Moumia" is being shown TOMORROW at 7PM. Call Ken but he simply can't add it to his busy schedule. Leave word with Spartacus, who calls back about 9PM and insists on going to "The Tin Drum" in the OTHER theater, saying I can get in free from 4PM tomorrow. Then totally exhausted from eyestrain, so I plan to get to bed at 9:47PM and just put in one earplug when the phone rings and it's Caesar, asking about Budapest and Prague until 10:01PM. He's leaving tomorrow and getting back on the 12th! Get to bed at 10:02PM.

FRIDAY, 11/5/10: Pee at 2:05AM. Do Actualism and think and doze to 4:36, when I get up. 4:44AM: At 4:36AM I got out of bed to pee, determined that my fugue of thoughts, since 3AM, had gone on long enough without DOING anything. My thoughts went back to the supernal sex of Al J., Bob R., John A., Nye, John Ca., John Co., and others. They touched on "Contact," the downpour of light at the end of "Close Encounters," and the up-coming, it is to be hoped, "Al-Moumia." Whirled through the energies of Actualism, going back to "Gain," and thinking of another jewel for my Jewel Box. But the grounding---no, better, getting-up thought was of the ten still-unseen Season 4 episodes of "30 Rock," to which I turn now at 4:48AM, sorry that I couldn't more completely capture those 96 minutes between 3AM and 4:36AM. Watch five episodes to 6:48AM, when I'm feeling slightly nauseous and get back into bed until I get up again at 9:09AM to shit and watch the last five episodes (all of 22 episodes) to 12:30PM, having an early lunch to prepare for the early trip to MoMA this afternoon. Talk to Marj a bit, making sure she's not worse, and fill her in on Shelley's being transferred to the Cobble Hill Nursing Home this afternoon for three months. Finally put the enormous stack on my desk that was left over from my mail-scan after the trip. Catch up on some journal notes, file things with IRS and HSBC and Schwab. Find that I HAVE more than my RMD for my Keogh for last year. Clear desk by 2:06PM. "Solve" issue by 2:17PM: they'll send another renewal notice three months before 7/11 expiration date. Really, somehow, feel like I'm operating ON THE EDGE, though my leg no longer hurts and my left calf is now relatively normal in size. Have the last of the Spam for lunch about 3PM and leave for MoMA at 3:45, getting there at 4:25 to find a long line around the corner, but it moves quickly and I'm inside by 4:42 to get a ticket for "Al-Moumia." Quickly case the lower floor to find nothing of interest, climb the stairs to 2 to move through many of the rooms filled with mediocre art; up to 3 for a special Abstract Expressionism exhibit which puts everything together in a random-walk nonstop roam through a half-dozen exhibits that all look the same, whether they're modern kitchens, sculpture, or photography. The sixth floor special exhibition area is all undergoing installation and I'm back down to 5 for more of the same nothing. Debate going into the snack area but everything starts at $8 for a tart or a root-beer float. Look at other areas where everything seems trivial, though crowds taking pictures swarm the area in front of Picassos. Sit outside in the dark garden for a while, just to pass the time before entering Theater 2 at 6:35PM to look through the other Arabic offerings, finish my New Yorker, and keep my eyes closed through most of the "cute tot runs across the stage three times" titters. Small ineffectual introduction to the restoration process, with a small audience reaction to the support of Giorgio Armani, Cartier, Omani Airlines, and some Abu Dhabi charity. "The Eloquent Peasant" from 1970 is filled with pectorals and goes on for twenty minutes, followed by "Night of Counting the Years" from 1973 has about the same cast, and goes on ponderously for almost two hours, getting applause at the end, but it was hardly worth the effort to see it, since the "conflict" between the tribe hoarding the mummies and the "rescuing" city-folk never takes place. Home by 9:55PM to get a phone message from Shelley at the Cobble Hill Health Center at 7:30PM, and then I heat a bowl of soup and watch a burlesque "House," a 1977 Japanese movie from director Obayashi that's more kiddie-porn than anything else, until 11:45, eyes almost closing, and get to bed at 11:55PM.

SATURDAY, 11/6/10: Pee at 5:23AM and stay awake until after 6AM, then doze and up at 8:32AM to get the Times, type my dream, and catch up with this to 8:54AM, ready for the Times, puzzles, and breakfast. Finish with all that in time to meet Spartacus at 1PM to pick up tickets for "Merry Wives of Windsor" at the Pace College Theater, early, so we can go to Lots-Less and shop for licorice and Mars bars and his other goodies before getting back for the very mediocre show, made worse by having problems understanding the words from the middle of the balcony. Back to finish the licorice and decide to watch "Avatar" on HBO, interesting enough the second time. Bed at 12:14AM.

SUNDAY, 11/7/10: Pee at 5:22AM. Write note for DREAMS:11/7/10. Do a good Actualism session and get up at 9AM. Look at the Times with breakfast, then watch what I'd taped last night from TCM on a Tahiti kick: "Pagan Love Song," "The Tuttles of Tahiti," and "Hurricane." Then watch the new-found footage for a 2.5 hour "Metropolis" and a one-hour "Metropolis Refound." Between movies, I did a futile, frustrating, three-times-through-everything search for my lost Ethiopia stamps, finally just abandoning the search: they might turn up later, they might NEVER turn up, DAMN THEM! Bed at 12:38AM.

MONDAY, 11/8/10: Pee at 6:07AM and get up at 7:38AM. Watch the "M" that I'd recorded last night, and I think it was today that I talked with Shelley at Cobble Hill: she'll be there for "1-3 months," is "feeling better," and is in room 406 of the A-area, needs bottled water, 20-oz Diet Pepsi, talcum powder, and the Tuesday Times' Arts and Sciences sections. I decide to go see her on Tuesday. Get the flu shot fairly quickly from HIP, pick up laundry, get my prescriptions (with some questions), and leave word with Ken to schedule looking at my trip shots for his photos. Get back to check prescriptions and I seem to have MIS-ODRERED uroxatral, since I'm TAKING tamsulosin (Flomax) and another prostate-reducer, so I phone and they say, reluctantly, since they have to eat the costs, they say, that I can return it. [DAMN: This should have been on the previous page, which I've already PRINTED: Also note that I'd started transferring Dubai photos on SUNDAY, 3:20PM-5:20PM, to what I THOUGHT was the Edge storage disk, but my desktop C-drive doesn't have enough storage for them, so I started at 5:45 to transfer them to my laptop. Edited through #110.] Then, today, I went through #439, Gondor start, to 5:30PM, doctoring almost every single photo in contrast and brightness. Then meet Spartacus for the "Retired Dancers" show at City Center from 7-8:30PM, better than former years, with great dancing by some VERY sexy guys! Home to have some kind of late dinner and get to bed at 10:59PM.

TUESDAY, 11/9/10: At 6:12AM I note a light dust of tiny mympths. Pee at 6:17AM and think about making a backup of my C-drive, and get up at 6:50AM to start that at 6:56AM. Check to find the following: C: total 37.2 Gb, free 73.9 Mb; F (the large flashdrive): total 30.1 Gb, free 15.5 Gb; G (Edge): total 465 Gb, free 416 Gb. Check C:\Documents and Settings has 19.4 Gb; then \Bob Zolnerzak has 18.1 Gb; My Documents has 17.0 Gb, which I start copying at 7:24AM, and at 7:27AM I've got 208 minutes left, at 7:32 I have 239 minutes left, and at 8:43 I have 178 minutes left. \My Documents is 18,314,996,159 on Edge, and 18,314,996,224 in C:, for whatever reason. \My Pictures is 15.9 Gb, containing Olympus Master 2 of 14.9 Gb (which is what I THOUGHT I was putting on the Edge drive!), and a Newfolder of Stpetes of 1.01 Gb. So since it's on the Edge, AND in my laptop, I ERASE it from C:, freeing up a gigabyte of space. I'm tired from the effort, having slept somewhat less than seven hours, I guess, so I go BACK to bed, to maybe even NAP, from 11:43AM-12:43PM. Have to go to TWO newsstands to get Tuesday's Times, then almost SCREAM with frustration in Key Food when I can't find the REGULAR water, and then they don't have it in Shelley's requested 20-oz size, so I get liter bottles, 50% larger; and when I can't find 20-oz Diet Pepsi and get liters of that, I bitch to the cashier, who tells me I can get them in the machine outside! Put my $1.50 into the machine and the fucking bottle drops BEHIND the partition! Rap furiously on the door to get the attention of the manager, who's responsible for the machine as it turns out, and he messes around inside to take out a crumpled 20-oz bottle of water, which he "donates" to Shelley, along with my 20-oz Diet Pepsi. SOME good from the FUCKING PROBLEMS. Lug the stuff to Shelley's at 2:30, find her in a luxuriously large room with no one with her, but then she needs to pee, the nurse puts in wrong so she pees in the bed, and when they're changing bedclothes I sit out in the hall reading New Yorker and HERE COMES LEON BRAZEL to see Elsie, who's recovering from her stroke in the very next room! REMARKABLE coincidence: if I hadn't been sitting outside, I probably wouldn't have NOTICED him OR her. He drops in to visit Shelley, who HATES visitors, so after I finish with her, with only minimal impatience, by about 3:15PM, I go next door---to see them sitting sweetly hand-in-hand---I announce that I can bring my show to their VGA-input TV sets, and that they shouldn't bother Shelley, who'd rather be alone. Leave at 3:30, annoyed with being annoyed. Watch "Traffic in Souls," a rather dreadful 1920 silent film that I recorded last night, along with "Indian Massacre, aka The Heart of an Indian" by Ince, from even earlier. Also, my calendar says, took mefloquine #7 and phoned for the Games Group on Sunday. Bed at 12:30AM.